03x02 - Take Your Nepo Boss to Work Day

[bunniefuu]

[Jenn].
Charles Conch.

Visionary.
- [Backwoods] A piece of sh*t.

Founder.
- [Steph] Dickhead.

Father.
- [Todd] Crook.

[Jenn].
A man of many
convictions.

Most of which were
eventually overturned.

[Backwoods].
B Oh my Jesus.

- asaser].
- ThThose e e n

[Jenn sobbing dramatically]

[Jenn].
Sorry, Daddy.

I'm so sorry. God, he hated,

he hated when people cried.

ddddy alysys sai
"Iyoyou ha t to crg.

"at least have the decency to
do it with the engine running

"and a hose out the window
attached to the exhaust."

Because life is unfair, Todd.

f*ck me.

[Jn]n].
He w a a sime e man.

d didn'hahave awhollols
f*ck me.

Um, he liked diesel engines.

Uh, danishes,
he really liked those.

Gosh, he used to like
to lick all that, uh,

icing off all the danishes and
then put 'em back into the box

and he'd be like,
"Don't waste that.

"There's, there's still a
lot of good danish in there."

Ugh.
- [Steph] Oh geez.

Like someone was
actually gonna eat it.

You know, someone usually did.

I think I probably ate like 200
of those pre-licked

[gags] Mine too.
You k- That's disgusually did.

I think I probably ate like 200
ofAll right, let's do this.

[Backwoods].
Sick joke.

[Chelsea].
She thinks he's
sts going to heaven?.

Not a chance.

[Backwoods].
Here we go.
Open your mouths, boys.

What a waste.
- [Backwoods] It's gonna drop.

Oopsie daisy.

[Todd].
What is she doing?

[Audrey].
What's happening now?

Mr. Conch?

[Chelsea] Don't do it!
- Oh, no, no, don't do it, Jenn.

[crowd].
No, no, no,

[Chelsea] Don't do it!
[crowd talking over themselves].

[Terer].
[everyone groaning]

There's your lunch!

ewewey]. He i in !
ououghinanand gaining]

He's in my mouth
and my soul!

All right. How the f*ck am
I gettin' down from here?

[Todd].
Jump!

What?

[Taser].
Give her a shove, Conchie.

[Dewey].
Tastes like, uh, danishes.

e e you nnnna we
thatn n yourununch de?e?

Yeah. It's my lucky shirt.

Yogogot dWhat?uy oyoyou.

Oh sh*t! I don't have
time to go and change!

Come here. Let's wash it.

[coughing]

Wait. You seeing Daina
y today like this?uh?

Yep.

A bit of advice. I-
- Nope.

You're not gonna be my
dating coach, Dewey!

veve dat!!

You've been cat-fished twice!

True.

By the same woman. I'm good!

I still have a shot with
that chick but listen...

Daina has high standards.

second date, make or break.

You have no idea what they say,
ya turd shovel.

isisLet's wash it.ff.

You know, I'm rooting
for you, bro.

Good to know, Dewey.

I'm rooting for us.

You might get lucky tonight.

OhyI f*cking hope so.so?

My condolences about Charles.

It was so sudden.

Woohoo!

Huh?

Uh, was he ill?

No. His, uh, cellmate stabbed
him 26 times with a spork.

Oh.

No. But I was told it wasbbed
him peaceful and quick.rk.

What's a spork?

It's halfway between
a fork and a spoon.

I was in Peru at a
wellness retreat

when I heard the sad news

making some big life decisions.

So, I'm back.

And I'm here to learn everything
about this dang business

from the ground up.

Oh no, Jenn, you don't
wanna work here.

Did you forget this?

This is team building
at its finest.

This is really
your screen saver?

Don't you have pictures
of a niece or a cat

you can put up there, Chelsea?

[Jenn and Janet giggling]

I'm counting 46 middle fingers
in this photo.

's's theosost unieied th
crewasas evebebeen nd.d.

eded I rinind yoththat
afafter e e planununionid, d,

thanks to you, Chelsea...

That's right.

CornPulse got a
Oubigger market share,!

and it broke Daddy's heart.

Now I am the only Conch left,
so I am here to learn it all,

learn all the trades,
to weld, to excavate, to...

[imitates jackhammer sounds]

forklift sh*t.

You're not certified
or insured!

You could pair her
with somebody who is.e.

Todd! Get over here!

Can you take Ms. Conch
on a plant tour today?

That is a great idea.

Su. . No, ahah.

I would love to do that sh*t.

Come on, Jenn,
I'll show you the ropes.

Great. Where are those ropes?

Thanks, Chels.

[Chelsea].
God speed.

h!h! [gileles]

[Chelsea].
Jesus Christ.

Coming up on the right here,
you got your boilermakers.

They're the knuckle-draggers
of the crew.

Spend most of their
day stuffed in a hole.

Hey boys! Yoohoo! [laughs]

You got your
electricians here.

Highest paid, least liked.

You're not smart enough
to be an engineer,

Look. They're waving at ya.

f*ck you!

They're all totally
f*cked from the fumes.

[Roach].
Hey! That guy looks like Todd.

He looks like Todd from work.

What do you got there?

Uh, these are my vitamins.

It's a, uh, it's
an herb from Peru.

Here.
- I'm good.

I'm old school.

I keke my ugugs
omom my alaler.

Oh no, these will
fix everything,

except boners apparently.

Well, I'm on the clock.
I gotta stay sharp.

lCan you hold this for me? a
ryry danrThank you.e to rkrk.

Oh sh*t, sh*t, sh*t. Oh.
- f*ck!

Jesus Christ.

[Jenn].
Ahhhh! Holy sh*t!

Watch out! f*ck!

Jesus!

f*ck me!

Well why are you standing
in the middle of the road?

Why are you driving
like a f*cking maniac?

Maybe I will take these pills.

Uh huh. That should help you.

Okay. Steph here is gonna
be taking over the tour now.

You're in excellent hands.

f*ck you, Todd!

Do me a solid here, okay?
I'm running a bit.

What is this? Take your
nepo boss to work day?

You almost just f*cking
k*lled me, man.

Hey, Trades Barbie.

Roach, let's go. Shirt swap.

Whoa. What do we got here?

Whoa.

Do you even know
what those are?

Yeah, of course.
I'm not reckless.

lllls, m...

What kind of vibes
can I expect?

Don't know. Apparently they
fix everything so good luck.

[chuckles] Whoa.

These better f*cking work.

ghght onmaman.
MyMysterpipills.

Hmm. What I normally tell
Dewey is you just... and...

Yeah, no, no.
I, I, I, I got it.

Just between your
fingers though.

Just, you just want to
put it between your...

it's like you're holding
a pencil sort of.

You know what?
You could just ask for a fork.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm good.
[chuckles]

Must be the pills I'm on.

Some slippery
little guys, huh?

Uh yeah.

[Dnana gasngng]

Uh, sorry, big guy.

You can keep that
if you like.

We got a runner! [laughs]

[whispers] Bakatare.

Did you hear that?

[Daina groaning]

[mededh.h. Sor.. micic]

sh*t. Are you, are you okay?

You got allergies?

No, I've just been getting
colour triggered migraines.

Nice. No.

Not really actually.

ooh, visual overload.
I'jujus- Mmmhmm.veo.o...

High contrast.

[Todd laughing]

That shirt, wow!

That is an aggressive pattern.

Hmm. Are those neon flamingos?

auaughin Y Yeah, ndnd
eyey're ayaying xoxophon...

Sorry, I,
it's actually borrowed.

You should see the
one I was gonna wear.

It's covered in a dead
guy's body dust. [laughs]

Yeah, I got nothing. Um...

Phew. It's hot in here, huh?

That's soy sauce.

[Todd gagging and choking]

I'm just gonna hit
the shitter real quick.

Or the toilet.
Do you want anything?

From the shitter?

Well sometimes they
have those baskets

with the little bottles of
mouth wash, gum, condoms.

Tampons.
- Tampons. You need tampons?

Nope. I'm-
- I'm your guy. I got you.

I'm good.
- Okay.

I'll be right there.

Wah-ha!

Oh sh*t.

Only the employees can
piss in there, I bet.

Hello?

[Chef muttering in Japanese]

There it is!
- [Daina] Yep.

You're good?
- I am good.

No to the tampons, right?

Yep. I'm good. Thank you!

Hey!
- No, no, no, no lady.

Not another step
without a hard hat.

I just had a blowout

and those dumb safety hats
make dents in my forehead.

eyey makdedents
evyoyone'sororehea

Fine. But if I get helmet acne,
that's on yo.

eyey mHere.ents
ev- Uh uh. Uh ehea

Fine. Yeah, no, Ms. Conch, acne,
you can't wear those.

, , I thk k I'm odod.
YThThey'rVeVersacnglasses.

Prescription for
chronic hotness. [laughs]

Okay, listen to me.

Always stay at least six
feet away from anybody

that's handling
tools or equipment.

Got it.

And always announce
your presence.

Okay. Your wish is my command,
lady safety steward.

Okay.
- Ugh!

[Steph] Oh sh*t!
- [Audrey gasping]

[Steph].
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no!

[Sphph].
UnUnlesse e buryhehe bod

I hit her real good. sh*t.

Okay. You're all right.

You got this.

Calm the f*ck down.

[trippy music]

Are you... me?

Am I... you?

Are you okay or ...?

I've got this and
you've got this.

oaoa. Wh t the fkk
[ue h happengng nowisic]

[saxophone music continues]

[phone vibrating and ringing]

I'm not a video call guy.

This is not a good time, Dewey.

Hey, buddy. Just checkin' in.

Listen, the second date is
when Daina usually bails, okay?

At least that's what
happened with Steve

and Nelson and Enrique and...

Why are you telling me this?

I can only hear
u every third word.t.

Oh, are you underwater?

[Todd on video call].
Why the f*ck would
I be underwater?

I took some of Jenn Conch's
jungle cult pills

I think I just offered to
bring your sister gifts

from the men's restr

I think I just offered to
Aw, that was nice of you.

keke a mt?t?

Hey, can you grab
me something too?

Oh, one of those
origami folded towels.

[Tanner].
Yeah, yeah, I'll,
I'll take one too.

Now it looks like my pupils
are doing different jobs.

One's chilling and
one's exploding!

It looks pretty awesome, Todd.

h* What's up, Homer?wey.

Hey, Todd.
Listen, quick question.

What channels do you want?

I added some truther streamers,

ufuff thdedeep stete wan
scrueded froexexistee.e.

No, no, no, no, no, no!
You are not spiralling today!

Breathe in the trails
and call your sponsor!

[Homer] Copy that.
- Huh?

[Homer] Breathing in...
- Huh? Huh?

omomer].[exheses] u

Ohuhuh, sasosomeonacaccidealally
spinto your chlorine cesspool.

Got it right in the filter.

What the f*ck did you do?!

I don't have time for this!

You're gonna
have to drain it,

drain the whole system!

Grab a bucket,

scoop the sh*t outta there

or you're gonna
ruin the plumbing.

All that sh*t's gonna
back everything up.

And I'm not
cleaning it myself!

You setting tile
in there or what?

Just a minute!

FEvEverytngng oka T Todd?

sh*t. Uh,
[chuckles] all good!

Just cleaning up in here.

Send.

What the f*ck did
I just text her?

Ah f*ck.

Are you still there, Dewey?

[Dewey on video call].
Yeah.

Sounds like it's going well.

No it is not f*cking going well,
you f*cking pissant.

I' b beeLike the wholeer f...
I I drestaurant and Daina, ng.

eyey allrorobabl
thk k I sh m mysel

When? When has she seen worse?

Medhi's coffee enema
that gave you diarrhea.

Yeah. Yeah, I remember, Dewey.

Thanks for bringing
that up again.

alal fucOkay.helulul.

You're okay.

u u got !sis.

rrrry, b...
FuFuckinfifinall

[phone vibrating and chiming]

HaHad tounun,
paparenteaeacherntntervis?s?

Paid the bill?

What the f*ck does a
poof of air emoji mean?

I will. I love him
I llso much, Daddy.mim.]

f*ck. This is bad.

ududrey]
Th w wasn'ththere fofore, wa?

[Steph].
Is that a concussion?

Did her head get pregnant?

Yeah, she's, she's fine.
Wh h She's resting.akay?

p p time
- enenn clkiking h t tongu

Better hope it's
not a brain bleed.

[Tanner] Or you two are f*cked.
- [Jenn chuckling] Yeah.

Might be a good time
to get her passwords.

Ye, I love 69! Woo!69.

Like, do I call her up and
mention the bathroom incident?

Do I lean into t

Like, do I call her up and
mention thGhost her. incident?

You can't recover from that.

She thinks you had
diarrhea again.

[Bb]b].
No, n'n't ght t her.

She thinks you had
Just be honest.

Daina, I like you.
Want to grab a drink?

Ist t it bteter
stst to n n it?

Funny story about why I took
so long in the bathroom,

totoobut I did not have ahthat
cocomnuclear sh*t explosionff

in my pants again.

That is not better.

Hard to even imagine worse.

You told me to be honest.

Not that honest!

Like is the goal to remind her

of the worst two minutes
of your life?

Right?

Where's Backwoods?

Enough of this sh*t.

Communication is the oxygen
of any good relationship.

[in unison] Shut up.

s s she nsnsumednyny dru o or
alalcohoinin theasast 24ouours?

[in uProbably.ut up.

Hello. From inside my mouth.

Is she usually this weird?

I mean, honestly?
Hard to tell the difference.

I've got some
good news for you.

You got a strong heartbeat,

very healthy vitals,

but I hate to be the
one to tell you,

you got a serious case
of resting b*tch face.

Okay. That's enough.

Seriously, it's terminal.

Let's get her outta here.

Oh my gosh.
- Tanner, out of there.

All right.
- Okay.

In the chair.

In t the cirir.
- - OkayOkOkay.

Wee e gonngeget
u u outthehere.

In t the cirir.
Chelsea, my daddy always said

that you were the best
employee he ever had,

and I know that's true.

I am here today to
regain that trust.

It starts now.

They tried to warn me about the
safety hat and I didn' the

So I am committed to
regaining your respew.

They triEven if it takesout the
saffive months or five years,

m m not ining anhehere, d

till I get the job done, okay?

Fantastic, Jenn.

[to herself]
Five f*ck' years?

All right, go. Pull her out.

Off to Urgent Care.

Bye.

This doesn't usually happen.

ayay.
- - What t the pblblem?

ThisOff to Urgent Care.ppen.

You know what?
Forget it, I'm walking.

Ma'am?
- Keep up with me!

erere arpThere ares so tsese
tys sconsequences to the... epen.

Blah, blah, blah. You're good.

What?
- We're good good?

Yeah, you're good.

[gasps] Okay. Our lucky day.

[text notification]

Oh. Mmm.

Backwoods.

Nice mammaries.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm
My sexy man.

[Steph].
How's that going anyway?

Is he a gentleman?

You know, like you first?

Yeah, me first and second
and some nights third.

Yeah, we have a
hot date tonight.

I knew that redneck had game.

[quirky playful music]

[p[text sent chiming]g]

[incoming text notification]

No, that's not meant
Wh! for you, Tanner!you!

[Tanner].
Nope. It's already saved.

Fuuuuck!

Oh yes, you are a bad
girl and Daddy likey.

Hey. You, me, Leaky Pipe.

Let's go.

Oh, uh, yeah.

Kind of had other
plans but I...

[quirky text notification]

Ooh, damn. Hmmmm...

What? Nothing.

, , thatththat w
thbebest ia a ever

I mean, it's the best idea, bra.

No, not bra, bro.

Not bra, bro.
No, bro. No, no bra.

Okay, first of all,

what the f*ck are
you talking about?

You got Deet poisoning again?

I might.

And second, I need
to get f*cked up

toryry to rgrget
ouout th d day.

And second, I need
You're driving.p

I need to get buzzed again.

Are you coming?

Dot t eveFuck. me atat.

Whoa.

Last call, folks.

acackwoo]] Go...
- erernie]
PiPipe'slolosi

[Backwoods].
Las Time to olks.

acackwoo]] Go...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wh

Can we get three more
rounds from me and my buddy?

And no f*cking lip, Fern

Can we y yeah.ee[texnonoti]
rounds from me and my buddy?

And noOh, here we go.ern

Incoming f*cking Daina text.

[Backwoods].
Oh gosh. What do we got now?

"I got your text.

"I just think we're in
different places now.

"I'm looking for a more
mature relationship."

Th s six fkiking
rarandommomojis.

"I'm looking for a more
matuWhat the f*ck?p."

Man, it sucks but obviously she
doesn't know what she' sh

"I'm looking for a more
[quirky text notificat"

Man, Usually takes three or she
doesn'tfour f*cking dates

before they know I'm immature.

Oh sh*t, she's way
ahead of schedule.

Whatever. It's not
like I was all in.

I can be a lone wolf now.

Oh your girl bailed. Shocking.

Maybe it hasn't occurred to
you that a woman wants a guy

that can read more
than a beer label.

[ganans] Wt t the ckck, rnrnie?

dodon't memembersksking u u to
weweigh I'm a smart guy.ifife.

[quirky text notification]

Oh sh*t!

Uh, actually, I, I gotta go.

We're just getting started, man.
What the f*ck's going on?

NoNothin I I'm tining tojujd

We're just getting started, man.
for opening day and, like,

this guy's just
super enthusiastic.

That's all.
He's just a real go-getter.

Diyoyou kn t that enen
lvlves g c caughinin a tpp

quite often they'll chew their
own ba*ls off to escape?

That's f*cking weird. No?

Fernie, less talky,
more poury.

You tell f*cking Mr. Duck Blind
it's getting f*cked up time,

not phone time

You tell f*cking Mr. Duck Blind
it'YowaNo need. Got it.him?,

I need my wingman.

You in or what?

Yep.

u u gdidies! y!y!rer.

You want to get f*cked up?

Whoa! Oh!

Okay then. Great.

Sorry, I just got new boots.

[Todd chuckling]

Yeah. Surprised they weren't
more receptive to that.

Right?

Shocking, actually.

Maybe it's your
f*cking ostrich shirt.

What the f*ck is
wrong with my shirt?!

eyey're ckcking amamingo
anththey'rtatalent!!

[ue[Snax chittering]sic]

[Todd].
Thanks for picking me up,
Dewster.

He W We'reerere.

[Todd grunting]

Todd? Careful.

Why do you think your
sister doesn't think

I'm mature enough?

Hey, you know what?

Honestly? It's her loss.

You showed her all your
beautiful f*cking layers, man.

ybybe Who knows?asast.

Oh, what can I say?

She's always been the weird
one in our family, you know?

I'm just bummed because...

I want you to be
my brother-in-law.

I owow, Deanan.

Thanks for the ride, bud.

f*ck!

erere yoarare.

There's queso cheese
atatin the pipes, rer?

the f*cking filter.

It's all gummed up.

Taken me all day
to figure it out.

This is figured out?

Your levels are way off, man.

How much f*cking chlorine
you put in this thing?

Mit t as wl l be
rgrglingleleach.

How much f*cking chlorine
We're moving to salt water.

[scoffs] Who the f*ck's
gonna pay for that?

Nachos? They're cold.

No. I'm worried about you, man.

Yeah, I'm worried about me too.

We're calling your f*cking
sponsor as soon as I sober up.

[Homer].
Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, Todd.

Goodnight Snax!

[Snax chittering]

f f*ck u, u,

you little scavenging
bitchy grease goblin.

What? Ow!

[Snax chittering]

[Todd].
Shut up.

♪ Got my head in a haze

♪ Feel like a cat in a cage

♪ I've been crying for days
and I'm falling apart

♪ Give me the lies on page

♪ I'm feelin' twice my age ♪

[Conchie belching]

♪ I've been crying for
days and I'm falling apart

♪ Digging a hole
in my heart

♪ Digging a hole is that
the way you treat me

♪ Digngng a he e just tie ♪

[Todd laughing]

[slurred] Sorry. I've
been drinking as well.

[rhythmic rock music]

["Diggin' a Hole"
by Big Sugar]

♪ Got my head in a haze ♪

♪ Give me the lies on page

♪ I'm feelin' twice my age ♪

[ld d screining]