02x10 - Both Sides of a Dolphin Argument

[bunniefuu]

Tonight, someone
afraid of production lights.

It's Kurt Maloney.

Okay.

Oh, no.

Okay.

Cool.

A Karate Master
chopping a series of boards,

it's Jacob Wysocki.

To head, to head, to head,
to head, to head, to head!

And a ballerina sneaking

in waves to her friends,
it's Lauren Pritchard.

Oh my goodness.

They're all here to-

Make! Some! Noise!

Welcome to "Make Some Noise!"

The game's so good, we
spun it off unchanged.

I am your host, Sam Reich.

Here's how the show works.

I have here a series of
improvisational prompts

our players have never seen before.

Isn't that right, players?

- Yeah.
- I don't know where.

I haven't seen any of that.

I don't know how I got here.

Lauren blacked out,

woke up in our green room this morning.

They will to the best

of their ability to fulfill those prompts.

I will award them corresponding points

and the winner will take
home the coveted Golden Ear.

Whoa!

Which has been infection
free for three days now.

Wow.

Players, are you ready to rumble?

Yeah.

First, a little warmup round,

an amuse-bouche if you will.

Ew.

- Kurt?
- Yeah?

The moment it occurs to you,
your friends want to swing.

That's good.

That's good!

Brandon, that's so good.

Oh, man, you're funny.

Dude, you're funny.

Oh.

Brandon, so soft.

Do you moisturize?

Yeah, I also moisturize.

Yeah, it is a little hot.

All the way off?

Brandon, this is a party.

This is a...

Where's everybody else, Brandon?

Brandon, it's just us?

Brandon are you trying to f*ck me?

I will cut you off there, Kurt.

Wow!

Way to bring it my friend.

Sometimes you just gotta ask.

Sometimes you...

Brandon, I'm down.

A spicing things up amount
of points for you, Kurt.

I'll take it.

- Jake.
- Hey, happy to be here.

A doorbell song is way too long.

♪ Bing bong, bing bong,
bing bong, bing bong ♪

♪ Bing bong, bing bong,
bing bong, bing bong ♪

♪ I can feel it comin'
in the air tonight ♪

♪ Oh, Lord ♪

♪ Bing bong, bing bong,
bing bong, bing bong ♪

♪ Bong bing, bing bong ♪

♪ Bong ♪

I had my hand hovering.

I love that it's like
long traditional doorbell,

and also Phil Collins.

Hope you can afford

the royalties, yeah.

No solicitations amount
of points for you, Jake.

Lauren.
- Why?

Both sides of a dolphin argument.

[Lauren imitates dolphins chittering

What?

That was a swear.

You cannot play that in Florida.

Wow, Lauren!

That's a remarkably good
dolphin outta nowhere.

- That's crazy.
- Yeah.

[Lauren and Jacob imitate
dolphins chittering]

Suddenly there are 10
dolphins lined up outside going,

"Someone's talkin'
- Am I doing it?

about f*ck'?"

I just ride outta here.

Yeah, a sheer Galapagos amount
of points for you, Lauren.

Flyin' right along, Kurt.

Yeah?

A middle school slam poetry champ.

Puberty,

the hubris that it would've avoided me.

Oh!

Just out there on the jungle gym,

hanging out with my friend Tim,

when all of a sudden I drop like falls,

look down and where are my ba*ls?

Lower than they used to be,

left nut, right nut hairy, hairy, hairy.

I just wanna stay a kid.

Down the slide I should slid,

but instead a press against my jeans,

I'm feelin' horny if you know what I mean.

Wow!

- Oo, yeah.
- Nice, yeah.

My God, the talent on display!

Yeah, I mean, let's say
a participation trophy

amount of points for you, Kurt.

Sorry about this one, Jake.

Nothin' better than a sorry before

it even comes up on screen.

The most agreeable man in the world

gets punched in the belly.

Oh!

Oh, all right.

Good on ya.

That was strong.

You're strong there.

You wanna try again?

You got a look on ya like you wanna

give it another go.
- Yeah.

All right.

Oh!

That smarts.

Strong guy.

Strong guy, big heart, smart head.

Yeah.

Thank you for that.

That'll wake me up.

Could I get a bacon egg and cheese.

Oh!

Sorry, you were just takin' awhile.

- Oh!
- I just-

That was nice.

Thank you.

Do you wanna go in front of me?

- Yeah!
- Yeah.

I'm gonna buy this person's food.

Well, thank you.

- Wow.
- There's just so much

out there that's tough.
- Yeah.

And we don't get to live
the life that we wanna live.

I want people to live the life

that they wanna live around me, you know?

Comfort-

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Don't stop!
- Can I get

a bacon egg and cheese?
- Well, don't stop.

The kaiser roll?

Yeah, that's two.

Make that two bacon egg and cheeses.

Thank you so much.

You got another guy working here?

Yeah, I'll go get 'em.

Yeah, my job is just
to punch the bellies.

Holy sh*t, I love nothing more

than a spontaneous-
- Whoa, that surprised me.

You got me.

That was really a great
spontaneous three person prompt.

I guess I have no choice but to say points

for all three of you.

- Wow.
- Wait, what?

It's only fair.

- Lauren.
- Hey.

The Tooth Fairy tries
to sell teeth at a profit.

Okay, all right,
look, come on over here.

See what I got over here.

See, look, look under
the wing, huh, huh, huh?

Look at this, gold plated, huh?

Come on over here, look
at this, look at this.

You like a toddler teeth?

Look at this.

Look in the bottom row right
there, toddler teeth, huh?

Oh, oh, okay big shot.

I see what you're doin', I see.

Okay.

Wisdom teeth, huh?

Look at this one over here.

This one over here? Impacted.

Oh, oh, I see you're like someone

who likes to grill.

An entire grill right here.

Okay, all right, look, look, look,

I drive a hard bargain, huh?

All right, see right here?

No cavities ever on this one.

Oh, hey, hey, hey, the
fuzz is here, the fuzz.

Wait, hey, hey, hey!

Come on, come on.

We got 'em.

I want my quarter back!

I'll cut you off there.

Hell, yeah.

Let's say, 30...

There's 32 teeth

in the human smile.
- Mm hm, if you do it right.

Let's say 32 points for you, Lauren.

- Wow.
- Thank you.

- Kurt?
- Yeah?

A meteorologist doesn't know the names

of weather phenomena.

Okay, Mr. President,

we got some bad stuff happenin'.

If you just notice on
this PowerPoint prompt

that I've brought to you,

we got a lot of sh*t
sorta just comin' our way,

we got a lot of sh*t
sorta just comin' our way,

our way, yeah, towards...

You see this... sh*t here?

That's where we live.

The sh*t from the sky is comin'

at the sh*t on the circle
specifically on our sh*t.

And if it hits our sh*t,

the sh*t's gonna hit the fan.

So, you're in deep sh*t.

Kurt, I also feel like this

could be you being called
upon to perform this duty.

Yeah, I know what a meteorologist is.

I was a f*ck' slam poet, so.

A series of game
advancement tokens for you,

I suppose.
- Oh.

Jake, we're all the way back at you.

How exciting.

There's so much tension.

One-upping the person in front

of you's grief at the casket.

I'm sure it hurts.

How long did you know him?

How long did you know him?

Nine years?

Oh, yeah.

We go way back.

It's hard to think about
how far back we go.

You start to add up the time,

it's just multiple spans of nine years,

you know what I mean?

Nine years, nine...

How are you guys?

How are you guys connected?

The wife?

Hey, I hope you have a great day.

I hope you have a really good day.

Impossible for me.

I'll cut you off there, Jake.

I f*ck' love it!

The way things unfold.

Let's say a cathartic amount

of points for you.
- Hm.

- Felt good.
- Okay? You all right?

- Yeah, thank you.
- Gonna be okay?

Yeah, yeah, thank you.

Last prompt of round one.

- Whoa!
- What?

- Lauren?
- You are?

- I am?
- No.

"Naming all 50 States,

but being unable to mask your
disdain for certain ones."

Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas,

California, Colorado, Connecticut.

Delaware, Georgia, Florida,
Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois,

Indiana,

Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana,

Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan.

Oh my God, Michigan!

Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana,

Nebraska, Nevada, New
Hampshire, New Jersey,

New Mexico, New York,
North Caro-freakin'-lina.

Oh, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon,
Pennsylvania, Rhode Island,

South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee.

Oh my God, Texas!

Seriously?

Utah, Vermont, Virginia.

Oh, Washington.

West Virginia, Wisconsin,

and Wyoming.

You know what you did, Wyoming.

- Wow, Lauren.
- Thank you, thank you,

thank you, thank you very much.

- That was f*ck' tight.
- Holy sh*t.

- That was tight.
- Holy sh*t.

In alphabetical order, too?

Let's say 52 points
in honor of Puerto Rico

and the District of Colombia.

Oh.

That brings us to the Mini Game.

This is a little mini
game we like to call,

"If It Could Talk," stock photos edition.

Basically how this works, players,

is I am going to show you
a series of stock photos

that generally speaking
are a touch unusual,

the most unusual I could find
on our stock photo library.

I am going to ask you to buzz in

with a pitch for what that stock photo

would sound like if it
spontaneously sprung to life.

Oh!

First stock photo.

Kurt?

Life alert!

Love it, Kurt.

c*ck-a-doodle freak.

Again, that is my buzzer sound.

Sorry, your buzzer sound was?

Is c*ck-a-doodle freak.

- Got it, okay.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Uh huh, yes.
- Mm hm.

And your contribution to the game, Jake?

I went down to the Costco,

and you know the Costco was busy.

There was so little parking
and we finally got in there

and I went down the aisles and I was just,

there's the better, you
know, so much butter.

What are you gonna do?

You gonna go salted?

You gonna go unsalted?

You know, it's like I don't even think

I had butter on the list

but I'm looking at all the butter.

Anyways, I find myself in that aisle

with all the stuff for the outdoors.

You know, I'm just thinkin' I'm not

gonna go outdoors anytime soon.

I just don't have it in me.

I don't have the knees anymore.

But what am I...

I mean, when else am I gonna boogie board

or a seven foot long surfboard?

To rerecord your message, press one.

Incredible assist.

Lauren?

"That's Madam President to you, Sir.

I said b*mb 'em."

Goin' against type.

- I love that, Lauren.
- Yeah.

Thank you.

Here's the wild thing.

That point for the
assist is going to Kurt.

- Whoa.
- Oh, yeah.

Next up.

Lauren.

"We just wanna talk to you for a second

about your car warranty."

Kurt?

Whoa!

Points for authenticity.

Let's give that particular one to Lauren.

- Very generous.
- Yeah.

Thank you.

Next up.

Oh.

I can't help but notice that there's

no watermarks on any of these,

which means you've paid the license-

And I just have to say I do think

there's a world where
nobody would bat an eye

if it just said,
- Yes.

"Shutterstock," or whatever across it.

I don't know.
- We paid

for full commercial licenses

for all of these so that we can use them

In perpetuity-

throughout the universe.

- Yeah.
- Wow.

Wow, wow, wow.

I know this isn't the game,

but I'm gonna pitch the amount

of money that it's embarrassing

that you paid for those photos.

Yeah, $42 or more.

Embarrassing.
- c*ck-a-doodle freak.

I think it's more of a
subscription based model.

I think you're probably
paying like, $150 a month

to have access to a library.

I'm just gonna buzz in
without even buzzing in.

I think that's just Sam's photo.

That's just him.

He poses for all of these.

- Yeah.
- And the winner

for accuracy is Jake.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Hey!

Next one.

c*ck-a-doodle freak.

Jacob?

I can't believe that we've been stooped

to such a level where we have

to DoorDash groceries for common folk.

I like that a lot, Jake.

Lauren?

How doth dare thee?

I shall not be checking
out mine own grosh,

for thou shall take my groceries

and scan the barcode as a peasant shall.

- Oo, I love the term grosh.
- Grosh.

Grosh.

Grosh.

Kurt?

Babe, we can Ren Faire everywhere.

It's fine.

- Damn.
- Whatever.

That's so true.

- Kurt with the late entry
- Damn.

sweeps that one away.

Well done.
- That was fun.

Next up.

Kurt?

I got wood.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Kurt.

I'm gonna need it one more time.

I got wood.

Kurt?
- Babe, come here.

I got wood.

Kurt?

Let's pitch a tent, I got wood.

Somehow it's not getting weaker

as there's more of it.

I don't know how that works.

Who dares go up against that?
- I mean, no.

There's no way.
- Yeah.

So much wood.
- I don't wanna touch it.

That one goes to Kurt.

Next up.

Lauren?

Panda Express.

- Damn.
- I like it a lot.

I like it a lot.

c*ck-a-doodle freak.

- Hell, yeah.
- Whoa.

- Hell, yeah.
- Wow.

You know what, Jake?

Points for accuracy.
- Yeah.

Kurt?

Kurt is runnin' away with the game.

That goes to Kurt.
- Little bamboo.

Little bamboo shoots.
- For sure.

Last photo.

Welcome to Florida State Government.

This is your first day at City Hall.

Yeah, you'll fit right in here.

That is going to be points for Lauren.

I'm from Florida, I can say that.

That brings us to round
two where our players

will now test their
talents in teams of twos.

- Okay.
- Deuce deuce.

I like it.

- Kurt?
- Yeah?

Jake?

- All right.
- Oo.

"Busy cowboys trying
to schedule a gunfight."

How 'bout you step outside

and we handle this like men?

Do you wanna go right now?

Well, I...

Yeah, right now, or we could do it,

I was thinkin' like noon?

- Well, oh, mm.
- Does that work for you?

Dang, dang, noon's tough.

Noon is tough.

Supposed to feed my horses at noon.

You gotta feed your horses.

You gotta feed your horses.
- Yeah.

How's tomorrow lookin' for ya?

You know what?

I was actually drivin'
the cattle tomorrow?

Uh huh.

- Yeah, so-
- All day?

All day.

- It's an all day thing.
- Oh, dude, boy,

do I wanna k*ll you.

We just gotta figure out when.

This little mustache on your face,

I'm gon' k*ll you.
- Yeah.

If Saturday works for
you, Saturday works for me.

This Saturday?

This Saturday works for me

if it works for you.
- I'm doin' the rodeo

on Saturday.
- Oh, sh*t!

I can't do Saturday.
- You should come.

- I'm goin' to the rodeo.
- You got tickets?

I got tickets.

I can comp you tickets.

- No sh*t.
- Yeah, if you wanna

- I already bought tickets.
- bring somebody else,

- Okay, yeah.
- or somethin' like that...

And as soon as it's over

I'm gonna tear you up,
- Me and my friend

- you mother f*ck.
- are gonna sh**t you dead.

- How about this?
- But not before.

- How about this?
- Let's do it, right.

What if we just try and do
somethin' way down the line.

- I can do that.
- Like three months from now.

- That's great.
- Yeah,

- Three months-
- how's April 20th lookin'?

Perfect.

April 20th?

I think that's...

April 20th works for me.

What about...

You wanna do dinner tonight?

- Tonight?
- Yeah.

- Dinner?
- Yeah.

- I'm free as hell.
- Let's do it.

Why don't you just do it tonight?

Oh, sh*t we coulda...

Aw, f*ck it.
- Guys!

Unbelievable.

Almost Australian.

Well, I went there for a second.

Almost Australian.

If you were curious if
I can do accents, yes.

Can I keep 'em? No.

I can do accents but not
the one I'm looking to do

when I do it.
- Never.

Exactly.

A high noon amount of
points for the both of you.

Jake and Lauren.

- Oo!
- Yes.

- What a dream, yeah.
- It's us.

"Joyless wooden Soviet toys

come to life like in "Toy Story."

Meh, another day.

Yes.

The air is cold and desolate.

You ever wish that
we ground up like meat?

Turned to sawdust.

That freedom sounds nice.

That would be as peaceful
as a death I could hope for,

yet everyday I wake up in Moscow.

Quiet, Andy Vielnech is coming.

Hold on mom, lemme grab my backpack.

'Kay, coming!

- Please.
- I f*cking hate that guy.

Give me sweet release of death.

I will cut you off there.

Damn.

Can't do Russian so I didn't try.

Yeah, that's right.

You see? Yeah.

Just an American boy.

- Sometimes they travel.
- Sure.

That was like a big social commentary,

like, it's toys and moving.
- Yeah, if you really

think about it and like
what we're saying...

- Yeah.
- For sure.

Honestly, most of things I'm
saying on "Make Some Noise"

are like hidden and they're cryptic

and there's like a bigger picture.

Yeah.

If you go back and watch everything,

like there is like,
- Totally.

Maybe there's a map somewhere

and maybe it leads to something.

Yeah, what's wild is that

if you play Jake's prompts backwards,

it says "Sam is dead."

Nine amount of points for the both of you.

Wow.

I mean nine, not none.

- Lauren?
- Yeah.

- And Kurt?
- Yeah?

Oh my goodness.

- Oh.
- Thank you for coming.

- Well, wait a second.
- Oh.

Too much fun.

This is how gingers bond,

you know what I mean?
- Oh, oh.

"These square dance instructions

are a little troubling.

♪ Well, Alabama right done step right up ♪

♪ And get your sister
and your cousin a kiss ♪

♪ And right on, on the mouth ♪

♪ And salamander around, hey ♪

Sister and cousin?

That's right.

♪ You step right up and get your frog ♪

Amy!
♪ Get Amy away ♪

Casey!
♪ From here now ♪

♪ Round and about and get some racism ♪

♪ And throw 'em right in ♪

I look stupid Amy!

Casey!

♪ And now Alabama right
and get all through ♪

♪ And everyone get all, all the poo ♪

♪ You're gonna step in some
little, little dog poo ♪

Oh my goodness, oo!

Oh you stepped

in a little long poo.

There's poo-
- Sully around and here we go.

♪ Alabama right, and Alabama right ♪

♪ Then round and round and racism ♪

Hey, everybody.

- I don't wanna do that part.
- What?

I don't wanna do that part.

♪ And now kissin' your
cousin and slip her around ♪

Casey?

♪ And oh no, have a small
stroke and get on down ♪

Small stroke?

♪ Get on down to the floor ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Head roll, take ♪

♪ And bow to your
corner, bow to your mom ♪

♪ Bow to your God before you die ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Bow to your God ♪

♪ Salamander right and salamander left ♪

Oh, the poop again?

Why is there so much sh*t on the floor?

♪ Yee Haw ♪

And there was a piece of me

that wanted to see how
long you could go, Lauren.

The words per minute was impressive.

- Yeah, incredible.
- Incredible.

What have we got?

We got kiss your cousin.
- Racism.

We got just the word

racism on its own,
- r*cist.

Out of context.

I was required to do
square dancing in the south.

Like, it was a requirement
in my gym class.

Yeah.

I grew up in Massachusetts
where chess was a sport.

Yeah.

Let's say a chicken
dance amount of points.

♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da, da ♪

♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da, da ♪

- Kurt?
- Yeah?

- And Jake.
- Phew.

"If men called each other
'Daddy' instead of 'Dude.'"

You want another beer?

- Yeah, Daddy.
- Daddy.

My Daddy.

Hey, Daddy, hey.
- Heads up.

Daddy, what are we doin' tonight?

Well, I mean, I was thinkin' you know,

we could just pre-game
here a little bit longer

and then just go out-
- Are the other

daddies coming?

Oh, all the daddies are coming tonight.

Daddy night!

- Daddy night!
- Ding!

Daddy, can I be serious
with you for a second?

I was just gonna do the same.

Well, I feel like we haven't connected

in a second and it's like,

I need a little bit of a daddy down.

Yeah.

Just like daddy to daddy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, go ahead, go ahead.

Sam left.

Yeah, that's what I wanted to, yeah.

Yeah?

You already knew that she-

She posted.

I'm so sorry, Daddy.

My Daddy, I'm-

Damn, Daddy.

Damn, Daddy.

sh*t.

Can I be real with you?

Yeah, Daddy.

Amy left.

Yeah.

Yeah, you knew?

Yeah.

- How'd you know?
- Posted.

Damn, Daddy!

Looks like we're just
two single daddies now.

Two single daddies.

Dude, I like, I can't handle us.

They're not ready.

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

Unbelievable!

I do think I said dude that much.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not different than how
we normally hang out.

That was just sort of a-

That was literally what we would do

if we showed up at each other's house.

Yeah.

I think that will take off.

I can see daddy

being a new thing.
- Yeah.

For sure.

Yeah, it's close enough to like daddio,

that it doesn't feel like
immediately pornographic.

That was my band in college.

Was what?

Immediately Pornographic.

They played once.

- No instruments.
- Mm hm.

Bromantic amount of
points for the both of you.

What we got?

- What do we got?
- Come on.

What we got, Daddy?

Jake, Lauren.

Hey!

"A robot cheating off a
human in a CAPTCHA test."

We are both just going to
do human things, correct?

Yeah, I'd love to just get-

Yes, I barely understand
how these computers work.

Yeah, well, we're just gonna

put in our information,
- Yes.

and it's gonna give us clearance

and we're gonna be able to send

the driver's license to your address.

They will send driver's license

and I will drive like humans
do at 16 years old and-

All right, I'm just gonna log in here.

Logging in.

- Put in my password.
- Oh, password, smart.

- And then, oh, I hate these.
- Oh.

I hate these.

Which one has a bumper in it?

Which square has a...

That's a ridiculous question.

We all know which one has a...

But if you were to put one in there,

what might you say?

I know which one it...

Let's say it together.

My bumper's in the upper left.

Right there, I was gonna say.

That was mine.
- Yeah.

That's what I was going to say,

upper left
- Uh huh.

- on my screen as well.
- Yeah, yeah.

Well, there's more than one.

- Oh, sh*t.
- Yeah, there's

more than one bumper.
- I mean, okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Let's say it looking at your
screen and mine, shall we?

Hey, man, how's your blood sugar?

Oh, it's low, low.

Find the boat.

Oh, what?

Find the boat and click on the boat.

Boat is an aquatic way of getting around

from place to place on the high seas.

Where you from?

- Nebraska.
- Oh, cool.

I will cut you off there.

Somethin's a little off about this person.

Four traffic lights amount of points

for the both of you.
- Oh, wow.

Our last prompt of round two.

Whoa.

Oh, it's gone so fast.

Lauren and Kurt.

Let's do it.

I'm ready to walk.

"The Purge" but for social taboos.

All right, we have 24 hours, all right.

I'm gonna kick us off?

Okay.

That was on the floor, dude.

Yeah, on our floor.

Okay, all right, all right.

No coaster.

Oh.

It's The Purge man, it's The Purge.

That's gonna leave a mark right there.

- It's The Purge.
- Holy snap.

I just coughed right in your-

Oh, and you didn't cover your-

Nothin'.

- That's crazy.
- Didn't even do the thing.

I'm gonna cry in public.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

No one does that, it's so weird.

Hey!

Hey!

Look at me!

Happy Purge.

Look at me!

Ah!

That felt really good.

I feel good about this Purge.

- Yeah, it feels really good.
- I feel good

about this Purge.

Yeah, I was worried.

I wasn't sure what I was gonna do.

Yeah, I haven't been in
love with you for years.

Oh my gosh.

I have really felt that.

I wasn't sure, so I started having sex

with a neighbor just in case.

Amazing.

This feels so good.

This feels so right.
- Let's stay together

and make it everyone else's problem.

Yeah.

I will cut you off there.

An incredible volley.

Yeah, an awkward amount of points

for the both of you.

Awkward.

That brings us to our second Mini Game.

The Mini Game in question,
If It Could Talk.

Florida man edition.

- Whoa.
- Those are my people.

What I have here, players,

is a series of headlines featuring

actual citizens from Florida.

Once I show you these headlines,

I want you to go ahead and reenact

these headlines as best to your ability.

Make sense?

This could just be a picture of my dad.

Aw.

First one.

"Leopard mauls Florida man

who paid $150 for "Full contact
experience" at backyard zoo.

Hey man, just to let you know,

the full contact experience,

that means that sh*t's gonna f*ck you up.

All right, I'm all in.

- Are you sure?
- Open her up,

open her up, man.

Open her up.
- Just sign this,

sign this.
- Signed and oh yeah,

oh yeah.

- All right.
- Oh, sh*t.

We're in it.
- And I want you,

this sh*t's not eaten.
- Okay.

Okay, she has never eaten.

Okay, this is my dream.

I love y'all.

I'm goin' in.

This is amazing, I love it.

All right.

You know, I'm just gonna
open her up.

Okay!

Hey, and just one last thing,

my phone lines do not work.

- Okay.
- No service-

Yeah, yeah, uh!

And I'll buzz you out.



That's really...



Next up.

"Florida man busted after
tantrum about bacon."

I'm so sorry sir, I mean,
we can get you another piece.

It's all right.

Give me all of the bacon.

No, it's just a bit of a shortage

so we just don't have none.

Yeah, I have-

- Give me-
- Holy sh*t.

Oh my God, okay.

- Oh.
- Oh, Jesus.

All of the bacon.

All right, everyone
start givin' the bacon.

Everybody bring

your bacon over.
- Everybody get the bacon.

Everyone get your bacon

out on the tables.
- Everybody get the bacon.

I'm so sorry, Sir.

Listen, if you can just
calm down, all right?

And just look me in the eyes, all right?

And
didn't know I had one too.

Clever girl.

Stab, stab, stab, stab,
stab, stab, stab, stab, stab!

I'm just gonna leave your
check whenever you're ready.

Yeah, yeah.

Katanas?

Was that the sword?

You better believe it.

The world would be a
better place if that's

what was legal.
- It's true.

We just stopped at swords?

Yeah.

Yeah, we stopped at swords.

It'd be safer and it'd be sick as hell.

You heard it here first.

Replace g*ns with swords

because it would be sick as hell.

"Florida man used taxi service

as his getaway after bank robbery."

Go, go, go, go!

Come on, man, go!

Go, man!

Just go.

Faster, please, oh my God.

Please, listen, I'm in a hurry, okay?

I'm not tryin' to be a d*ck back here

or nothin' but I am in a...

No, I don't wanna share.
- You mind?

- I do, yeah, please.
- You mind?

Okay, all right.

Well, can we just make it...

Can we just-
- Come on in.

Come on.
- Excuse me,

oh, so many bags of money back here.

- Sorry.
- Come on.

- Sorry, those are just mine.
- Thank you.

If you could just hurry up,

and really-
- Hey,

I'm on Florida time.

You look so familiar.

Oh, I hope not.

Do you see where that helicopter is?

Mm.

If you could just avoid that.

You also haven't said where you wanna go.

Oh, just anywhere.

I just wanna get on the road.

I knew that vibe.

I saw that from the corner.

That lady wants to go anywhere.

I feel like I'm bein' shamed

for havin' a different vibe in this car

and I would just like to get away.

Hey, man, you did come into my space

with your energy.
- All right.

You're right.
- You didn't try

to match it all.
- You're right.

- Right?
- Right.

I'm understandin' that
you're an emergency.

That's right.

Unfortunately, I don't give a f*ck.

Okay.

I like this guy moved
to Florida for the vibes.

I'm slowin' down.

He wants to be on island time

but at a stateside price.

Yeah.

Last one, bit of a mouthful.

"Florida man lied about his connection

to Wu-Tang Clan to scam luxury hotels."

Okay, Sir, so I have
you down for three nights,

and the luxury penthouse suite.

It's very nice.

Thank you so much.
- Mm hm, mm hm.

And you said you are with the?

Wu-Tang Clan.

- Wu-Tang-
- Yeah.

We're actually two
members of the Wu-Tang Clan.

- Two of the members, yeah.
- Oh, you are?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.

Oh, yeah, your names are?

Wu.

Tang.

Tang, and I'm so sorry.

I do need two forms of ID and also

a sample of one of your songs.

I know it's a weird thing

but because of our high profile VIP-

Wu-Tang ain't

nothin' to f*ck with.
- Wu-Tang.

You can't f*ck with us.

- Hell, no.
- Nah.

If you f*ck with us,

we f*ck with you.

And one of your members
is already in the room.

He'll expect you up there.

He says you'll know.

Oh, what's their name?

Which one?
- Yeah, which one's up there?

Which one of the Wu-Tang

is up there?
- One of

the nine Wu-Tang Clan members.

It's the lead.

Yeah, oh, you know his name.

Yeah.

You know his name then
'cause it's on that paper.

You could just read it off the paper.

I'm not supposed to
disclose the names of-

- We know it.
- But it's our room.

We know it.

Let's all say it on the count of three.

Oh, oh, we couldn't.

That brings us to round three

where our players must now hold hands

and jump into the abyss together.

- Whoa!
- Group suicide, yay!

- Group suicide.
- Suicide pact.

- Kurt?
- Yes.

- Jake?
- Huh?

- Lauren?
- Hey.

"Sleep paralysis demons
in the break room."

All right, so I was layin'

on this guy's chest, right?

And they just looked
at me like that, right?

And I was like I'm not moving.

You can't breathe, bro.

Yeah, yeah.

Dude, I've been
terrorizin' this little girl.

She's like 10 years old.

Like, one of the youngest sleepers

to ever get sleep paralysis.

I swear to God, she's cryin'

but she can't freakin' move, dude.

Yeah, yeah.

On the ceiling?

That's so you.

That's so you.

I forgot that they probably
have their own language.

Yeah.

Dude, you forgot!

A shadow hat man amount of
points for all three of you.

Last prompt of our game.

What?

But we just got here.
- Wow.

Sheesh.

- Kurt?
- Yeah?

- Jake?
- Hey.

Lauren?

"Bigfoot hunters outdoing each
other's encounter stories."

No way, man, no way.

Yeah.

- No way.
- Yeah.

You're pullin' our tail.

Yeah, I know.

I was out there and I saw him and then,

and I got a piece of his fur.

Look at this.

All right, all right,
all right, all right,

all right, all right.

I gotta do y'all one up.

I gotta do y'all one up, all right?

So you know,
- Okay, okay.

Here you go.
- I hook up with

this guy last week, right?

- Yep.
- Uh huh.

And we're goin', it's
goin' pretty great,

'cause come on.

And we're right in the middle of it

and he was like, out of my room,

and I went, oh, dude, that was Bigfoot.

No.

- I just hooked up-
- You hooked up-

With Bigfoot!

No way.

And what they say about
feet is true.

Crazy.

- Yeah, I did Bigfoot.
- Crazy.

Wow.

Well, you guys know that I finally

got my DNA test back, right?

My 23andMe?

- Yeah, congratulations man.
- Shut up.

I was hoping we could open

it up together to see if I could find

who my real birth father is.

Yeah, you wanna find your dad.

I've been lookin' for him my whole life.

Good luck, man.

Hm, 98% Polish, and 2%...

Bigfoot?

- Whoa!
- Oh, no!

Well, I guess Bigfoot's my dad.

- Okay, okay!
- Sorry, my bad.

But did Bigfoot teach
you his secret language?

No.

Maybe you guys could
play like a

or something like that, yeah.

Jerry, here's what we'll do, Jake,

'cause this is "Make Some Noise,"

you do the noise and
then we'll dub over you.

Great, now I'm gonna put
that in and not do that.

All right.

That brings us to the end of our game.

Our winner this eve...

Lauren Pritchard.

- What?
- Yes, dude.

- Come on, you guys.
- Congratulations.

No, it's all you, it's all you.

- No, it's all you.
- You get that ear.

You are the recipient
of the coveted Golden Ear.

Oh, it's so heavy!

Oh my God, it's so heavy.

That does it for us
here at "Make Some Noise."

Tune in next time for
more of the game samer.

I'm Sam Reich and that
sounds pretty good to me.

Goodnight.