(electronic music)
(whoosh)
(roar)
(ominous music)
(whoosh)
(rumbling)
(wind)
(etherial music)
(deep woosh)
(energy sounds)
(ominous music)
(whooshing)
After too many failures
So many tries
My soul came to Earth
In human disguise
I don't know why
And now I'm
Falling through grey
g*n metal skies
Chasing lies
Drivin' these dusty roads
Looking for salvation
Yeah, time's got me
burning rubber for soul
Fightin' off temptation
Wandering
these roads, so profound
Through shadows
A quiet sound
(door thuds)
Good morning, Michaela.
f*ck.
Oh my God, what happened?
Nothing, I'm good.
I just got caught up
in a little something.
A little something?
Did Cole come back?
What?
Are you kidding?
Cole?
Please, he's never coming back.
Well, I'm glad you have a
sense of humor about it.
I guess you're used to it.
What do you mean by that?
It's just the first it was
Xavier, then it was Quaid.
Now it's Cole.
I kinda agree with what
your therapist was saying
about recognizing your patterns.
Morgan, I'm really, really
not in the mood for this.
Hey, you know what, fine.
Don't tell me how you
cracked your face open.
Did you crack it or smash it?
Yeah, where's my pumpkin latte?
Tell me you're joking.
It's not the attitude,
I got yours on Monday.
It's your turn.
Unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
Extra wet.
Got it.
(motorcycle approaching)
(laughs)
Hey, b*tch.
Good morning, Jazz.
Uh, did you see Michaela's face?
I think Cole came back.
Uh, yeah, no, Cole
definitely did not come back.
I hear he's pretty happy
with his new little play thing.
Hey, do you know what
Stuilman's been
saying about you?
It's pretty...
Well, I mean, I have done
some questionable things
for boxed wine and Twizzlers,
but I don't really
think it counts as a blowjob
if it doesn't trigger
my gag reflex, so...
You don't have a gag reflex.
I know.
Oh, this is my new friend.
I don't know that he's
told me his name yet,
but we're in love.
Right, Buttercup?
My name's Ezekiel Plymouth.
You can call me Zeke.
Like the car?
No, like the rock.
The Rock's name is not
Plymouth, it's Dwayne.
Stupid.
So that was quite the
tantrum you just threw.
I know I'm
gonna regret asking this,
but how'd you meet the
Marquis de Sade here?
Fell out of the sky,
actually, just for me.
It's kind of romantic, isn't it?
Why don't you tell
them the story, honey?
Well, when I came to,
she was straddling my chest
with an electric
razor to my throat.
But of course.
We're gonna elope.
How sweet.
So is this your
new ticket out of here?
That it?
Well, we're gonna
honeymoon in Hell's Canyon.
Isn't that right, Zack?
Did she put you up to this
or was this Quaid's idea?
You know, I just met you.
You're a wreck, you're
a walking dumpster fire.
Are you always this bitter
and nasty
or is this just your
chemical personality?
Oh, and who hit you?
I wish I could've seen that.
Still surprised with
the mouth you got on you.
You're an accident
just waiting to happen.
All right, you know what?
You're done.
Off you go, as*h*le.
I mean it.
Beat it, f*ck
boy, honeymoon's over.
Fine.
I can find
Hell's Canyon on my own.
Oh, and a bit of advice.
Take it from someone who's
seen enough wrecks to know.
And sooner or later,
you're gonna have a wreck
you ain't walking away from.
I don't know, that
was kinda hot, actually.
Like in a
beautiful ruin kind of way.
It's got bad work, it's tough.
Really? Really?
You're taking a sh*t out of me.
Really?
God, you of all people
know the type of sh*t
I've been through.
Exactly his point and mine.
The guy knows
what he's talking about.
(engine revving)
(tires screeching)
(vehicles crash)
(glass breaking)
(weary soulful music)
(sighing)
Stumbling from this darkness.
You really oughta watch
where you're going there, Zeke.
Oh!
Zeke!
Hey, did that hurt?
Hey!
That hurt?
Yeah, that hurt.
Good, good.
(grunting)
(weary soulful music continues)
(temporal wooshes)
Come here.
Outcast by my humanity,
Knowing I'll never fit in
Prowling
through these haunted streets
A ghost in my own skin
Each day I've had a misfortune
So desperate for a way to call
Come on.
We have to go back.
Victor prepared a speech for us.
(laughing)
Vic.
Now, baby, you go on, okay?
Don't wait for
the first starlight.
I love you.
Love you?
(thunder)
(thunder)
(fire burning)
(temporal woosh)
(echoing)
(footsteps crunching)
(wind)
Hey, who's that guy?
That old b*stard, C. Plymouth,
former brigade commander of
the dark star Vittoria Armada.
(ominous music)
(energy)
(electrictiy)
(thunder rumbling)
(wind)
(machine dispensing)
(ominous horn)
They've come, they've come.
The Lazarus are here.
The Lazarus are here.
Hurry, hurry.
(ominous horn)
So that's them, huh?
First two
inhabitants of this rock.
So it's not just some
rumor or some bullshit legend?
Rumor or legend?
I only get one question, right?
How would I know
which one to believe?
Some say the answer to
that will never be known.
One will lie.
The other speaks only truth.
One is blessed, sanctified
in Christ
by his own
resurrection into eternal life.
The other, cursed by God,
condemned to an
eternal life of suffering.
Please, tell us which
one of you is Lazarus?
I am.
I am.
Which is which, and who is who?
Such is the enigma
of Lazarus and Cain.
This is a bunch
of religious bullshit.
It's absolutely no hope.
(whooshing)
Of whom would you ask?
Doesn't matter.
Then step you forward and ask.
(eerie music)
I am Lazarus.
In my Christ's mercy, unto you,
I pledge my life in the
service of our Lord's will
that I might honor his
covenant with my obedience.
(eerie music)
All things must have an
end to their beginning.
Welcome, O house of Judah.
You have chosen wisely my child.
And what must I do?
To see,
to know,
and to understand as you?
(eerie music)
Stand by my side to be
known unto me as Ezekiel,
and whosoever shall attend me
when I give up the ghost,
only then shall my
knowledge be passed.
(eerie music)
(ominous wooshing)
(eerie music)
What the hell's
he doing out here?
(gasping)
(adventurous music)
(eerie music)
(eerie music)
(thunder rumbling)
Zeke!
Hello.
Come on, Zeke, hold on a minute.
Leave me alone.
Just answer the question.
Hey, how can you be so
serious Lazarus and not Cain?
These Lazarus, for that
I am absolutely certain.
How?
How could you one question
possibly eliminate the fact
that it is a 50-50
guess, no matter what you ask.
One will always lie.
Well, that's simple
because it took me 14 years
to figure out the
answer to the right question.
Asking the right
question eliminates those odds.
If they say you
grew up in this w*r, man,
you held a military rank higher
than any other
human has ever held.
You had a command.
What the f*ck does that matter?
Because you believe
there's a way out of here.
Well, he told you
something, hasn't he?
Now, come on, man.
Now, he actually
talks to you, he responds.
I've never seen that in
all the years I've been here.
You're a f*cking
kid, the both of you.
You been here
what, six years, tops?
Try seven.
I have a hard time working
on some sympathy for you.
I lasted less
than a year in the armada
before they condemned me here.
Condemned us here?
Yeah, before they condemned us.
The f*ck are you two, like
a package deal or something?
Best friends from home.
You guys are sad.
Come on, man.
Tell us.
You know what I learned?
I learned I'm
not here for everyone.
(sighs)
(ominous music)
(energy pulsating)
Forgive me, my son,
but I must take my rest.
Can I help you, Lazarus?
Go and fetch us waters, my son.
You seem so certain, though.
No more than any other fool.
Lazarus said
the same thing to him,
then he said countless others.
And the Lazarus
outlived them all.
All who've passed through
here, unlikely all to come.
So what the
hell good is that if I was
going to do him anyway?
I'm not going to follow some
wise and old b*stard around.
Oh, but they live, still.
There's
truth to that, so there's
got to be some
truth to this legend.
There's got to be
a way off this rock.
(ominous music)
Morning has come, month of deep.
Lazarus?
No.
7-8.
7-9.
7-10.
No!
7-11.
No!
7-12.
No!
(energy surging)
(screaming)
Finish this!
Down with it!
Lazarus, please!
Lazarus, please help me.
Lazarus, please.
Vic, split up.
Head to the caves.
(heroic music)
They're going to tell me.
What-- what-- what
were the last words?
What were they?
What?
You're going to k*ll me?
[laughing]
(heavy breathing)
(ominous wooshing)
Morning has come, month of deep.
7-8.
7-9.
7-10.
7-11.
7-12.
Morning has come, month of deep.
7-8.
7-9.
7-10.
7-11.
7-12.
Morning has come, month of deep.
Quaid! Quaid!
Quaid!
Quaid, come on.
They're making selections.
[grunting]
Go!
They're making selections now!
(ominous horn)
Vic! Vic!
Hey!
They're making another run, man.
You gotta go.
You gotta go, man.
They're making an abduction run.
You gotta go!
[grunting]
(electricity blast)
(digital wooshing)
(muffled robotic voice)
But they k*lled Victor.
When they
realized he was trying to open
the floating big door
right after takeoff.
They gave me this.
He said you know who it means.
(robotic muffled voice)
[screaming]
(breathing, coughing)
Vic.
[grunting]
[grunting]
[ominous music]
He told you.
That's Avian tech.
Where's the other Telorbital?
This doesn't concern you.
It concerns everyone.
I'm not here for everyone.
(grunting)
(grunting)
(grunting)
(screaming)
(grunting)
(screaming)
(electrical noises)
(exploding sounds)
(distant alarm)
(distant alarm)
(distant alarm)
(alarm)
(alarm)
(wind)
(alarm)
(surreal silence, heartbeat)
(surreal silence, heartbeat)
(surreal silence, heartbeat)
(ominous wooshing)
(laughing)
(laughing)
(expl*si*n)
Mr.
Are you ok?
(man panting)
Let's get out of here.
(panting)
(coughing)
(grunting)
I'm not supposed to talk to
strangers, but in your case,
well, I'm BB
Thanks, BB.
Where are we?
(grunting, coughing)
(door creaking)
What?
Do I have to ask the obvious?
What?
Stop, stop.
Here, let me see it.
(sniffling)
Oh, it's an electronic lock.
How long was I out?
Well, did you find
those baby dinosaur keys?
You mean these
needle nose pliers?
Yeah, it does.
Come on.
Come on.
So you're telling me if I
wanted to smash right here,
right now, you wouldn't do it?
Not with my own duty.
All right,
tonight's lucky victim.
What do you think?
I'm not sure I'm gonna
do this sexy crochet top
or this adorable sweater.
Did you hear what
Stillman just said?
No, I didn't
say I wouldn't do it.
I mean, all's I'm saying
is, you know I come here.
Every damn day?
No, I'm not here that often.
Oh, really now?
Look, I don't come on
Sundays or when I'm training
or when I got a hot
new tip on a cold case
I'm about to bust wide open.
Just stop.
What cold case are you
about to crack, Putney?
I got a clue.
A hot tip?
I mean, a hot lead
on who's been stealing
from those vending
machines down at the Rixa.
Really, Putney?
You're like a dog with a bone.
Only the bone is smarter.
I say go with
a sexy crochet number,
but that's just my opinion.
So what? I'm
not gonna do it.
I'm gonna clock out early.
Trevor's gonna come
pick me up on his way.
Is that something about
knocking off
a couple of
vending machines for dinner?
Why do you keep
messing with that f*ck boy?
The guy doesn't even
have the common decency
to open up the door for you.
A man should always
hold the door open for one.
Thank you.
It's part of our, you know,
you know, basic DNE.
It's DNA.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
I've heard it before.
Look, there's
more to it than chivalry,
which is why will you
please just say something
when Trevor gets here?
He's too shy to make a move,
and if you say something,
then we have to
stop by your house.
Hell no, b*tch.
No, why?
Cause the
last time I let you smash,
you didn't clean up for sh*t.
Had me coming home to
condoms in the toilet,
lube-stained sheets, and
he popped all my Oxycontin,
and God only
knows what you were doing
with those
empty jars of Marmalade,
and my bubble wrap.
Hey, don't blame me.
The bubble wrap was BB's idea.
Wait, what?
You're kidding me, right?
Don't be mad at me.
(door sensor dings)
(eerie music)
Man, what are those?
Man, I mean, are those like
what, gloves for feet?
Chip.
You know, those shoes look like
they're for people
who wanna be barefooted.
So shoes and
barefooted is an oxygen moron.
(eerie music)
You're like, you're
my tax dollars at work.
You, this, you just hang
out at a grocery store.
And it's all
less about it, yeah.
Unbelievable.
Hands up, don't sh**t!
Okay.
I am not to be
played with, trust me.
Okay. Okay.
Dad.
(clears throat)
What are you doing tonight?
See you later.
Hey, can you stop by and
check on BB for me, please?
She's home alone.
Of course, I would love to.
Come on.
(door slams)
So, who's the lucky
b*stard tonight, huh?
Oh, you know.
Look, I'm not gonna
get all excited about it.
I'm just saying tonight
is gonna be different.
How's Nietzsche?
He's good.
You know, it's no secret
that I sometimes see things too.
You know, especially
since they canceled my PreSTD,
medical disability,
you know, from my anxiety
due to the
severity of the Y2K fallout.
You know it's
pronounced PTSD, right, Putney?
Yeah, PTSD.
Goodnight.
(sighs)
It's open
Just-
See ya buddy.
Ridin' in the whip
Lookin' for a fight
b*tches on the scene
Gonna smash tonight
Switches keep it clean
got no food in my sight
b*tches & switches,
that's the name of tha game
Blazing dubs with my Henny
and a b*llet with your name
Alright...
...buckle up.
(crickets)
(heavy breathing)
(birds chirping)
(door opens and shuts)
Mmm. Oh yeah
Um, hello?
Your mom said there was
extra pizza in the fridge.
I made it all.
Well, go check and
bring it downstairs.
(coughs)
Did you ever love me,
or was I a fool for you
Oh I screamed into the silence
(sighs)
Asking why
Tears fall like stars
from my fractured sky
Did you lose hope,
or chase a fleeting dream?
I'm left holding shadows
of what we used to mean
Voices echo,
doubt's a constant guest
Did I ignore the
cracks, or fail your test?
Oh, If I could only
just see you once more,
I'm telling you, you are
not gonna regret this dude.
f*ck him, okay?
How many times did he hurt you?
f*ck Jaz, this
is his f*cking house.
How many times did he
put his hands on you?
You know what?
He deserves this.
He's not in there.
These are
just his f*cking things
and it will make
you feel better, watch.
What if he
comes back, all right?
What if he apologizes and--
Apologizes for what?
Beating the sh*t out of you
for the last couple years?
I don't f*cking care, dude.
You're doing this.
Put that sh*t out.
No, it's too late.
Ready?
I promise you can do this
and you are gonna feel
so much better, dude.
Come on, cheers.
To taking your
f*cking life back, dude.
Through whispered
doubts, my mind replays,
Could a word or
touch have changed those days?
This morning I went over
and was looking at new
find a new snowmobile,
so trying to decide what
way to go with that one.
Got snow coming.
You know, after a pretty
decent year of harvest,
might as well spend
a little money on it.
Back up in the
mountains, place to go.
Got the trees running
around all over the place.
Nice, deep snow.
It's quite the winter to
have, to say the least.
Feels like
everythin' I've ever done,
Don't ever turn out right.
My Heart's long
stopped from loneliness,
So, yeah.
Crops, yeah, that's exciting.
Got some moisture this winter,
so we'll see what
comes next year, maybe.
Hopefully
we'll get something worse,
while anyways, for us.
Make a little money next
year and buy some more toys.
Evenin'.
For Nietzsche.
Each day I battle misfortune
You kids be safe out there, huh?
A hostage to my addictions,
Long past the end of my rope.
Long past the end of my rope.
Yeah, I'm gonna
check on the kids.
BB, what was that?
Hey.
Hey.
Uh, Mom, I've
got to call you back.
(grunting)
(coughing)
Oh, that's gotta hurt.
Feels really great.
Feels really,
really, really great.
Still disgusting.
(distant grunting)
I'm sorry you had to see that.
Those are parents.
Hardly, they may be, sir.
I'll be right back.
(distant grunting)
(ominous energy sounds)
(panting)
Here, here's this-
Did somebody else
come through that portal?
Yeah.
Which way did he go?
He asked for the nearest motel.
Where is that motel?
Well, you take a left, then
another left, and then a right,
and then you go about two
miles, and then there it is.
It's the pump and dump.
A what?
Pump and dump.
It's a name.
The pump and dump.
Yep.
BB!
BB, are you out here?
Who are you talking to?
Um, just my
friends from the stars.
Whoa.
What is that?
Like a hole in heaven.
Hmm, something tells me
that doesn't lead to heaven.
Hey, Trevor,
come get a load of this.
f*ck that, come get
another load of this.
(panting)
That other guy,
Now, how'd he get out of these?
Do you really wanna know?
Hey, just stand there.
Here?
No, not there, over there.
(electricity blast
(grunting)
Yeah, I just wanted
someone to take me out,
but at this point, I
don't care if this is a date
or an assassination.
Just surprise me.
(buzzing)
(buzzing)
He's waking up.
Millennia?
Millennia?
No, who's millennia?
Uh, who are you?
I'm Jazz.
Uh, how long was I out?
Who are you?
It's a long story.
I got time.
I don't.
How long was I out?
Almost two hours.
Oh, f*ck.
(grunting)
(grunting)
Thank you
(laughing)
Where can I get some clothes?
Well, Mom burnt all of
dad's clothes in a bonfire.
(screaming)
Yeah, we drank a lot
of whiskey that night,
so I don't remember everything,
but we definitely
burned all the sh*t.
My friend, what kind of
clothes did you give him?
He said he knew
someplace to find a jacket.
Wait, what?
I'm sorry, who are you?
Where did you come from
and how do you know BB?
And what is this?
You got a jacket or
something you can give me.
Please, give me something.
Look, if you need clothes,
I guess you can
just take Trevor's.
I mean, he's passed
out and doesn't need him.
Trevor, who's Trevor?
That's a long story too.
Come on.
Where is it
you're going exactly?
What the f*ck you want?
Entrance is around
the front you nitwit!
I need to speak
to Bojack, all right?
Privately.
You're kidding me, right?
No, no, it's urgent.
Really?
Then who are you?
No.
You got a spectrometer?
Hmm?
No, but we
do have a Geiger counter
if you wanna
detect the visible waves
beyond the spectrum.
Yeah, actually,
that'd work great.
That'd be perfect.
Okay, I'll do a grab.
A real Geiger counter?
Yeah.
Okay, yeah, sure.
It's got fresh batteries.
It's gonna work great, thanks.
Listen, kid.
You gotta promise me.
That if someone else
comes through that portal,
you're gonna
get your sisters together
and you're
gonna run, you hear me?
Okay.
Pinky promise.
Thanks.
Take care.
Sorry, but it's been
almost five years has gone.
Hell of a tragedy.
From a koala?
Huh.
How's that even?
I know, they're cute.
It's not the
m*therf*cker
you wanna f*ck with.
Well, as nearsighted as he was,
old Bo-Jack did
always love his whiskey.
That he did.
You know, I am
looking for someone.
Aren't we all?
Somebody will
stop when the shadows play
There's a
man with a troubled heart
lost and gone astray
Strings of
steel bend with his sorrow
As he dreams of hope
for tomorrow
The bottom of broken chains
The highway of endless pain
(car engine roaring)
The river flows with secrets
Secrets of the night
Through the echo of the past
He seeks the light
Once he was
blinded by the lies she told
Hey.
Can't let you walk
all the way to the Pump
And Dump in this cold weather.
Besides, if I drop you off,
you'll get a
good deal on a room.
Feelin'
heavy like a rolling stone
You drive.
Searching for the
light to make me whole
But I'm
dancing in the dark all alone
Ah, well
what if I told you I never
learned how to drive?
Okay, well.
I'll teach you.
No big deal.
All right.
All you gotta do is...
Just gonna take
this hand, there.
This hand, right there, okay?
And then you're gonna...
And then
you're gonna take your leg
and jam it on the gas.
There you go.
Do you know any
other way to communicate?
Was there any
other way to communicate?
The crossroads are calling
Dust in the wind
My wounds cut
deep, no way they'll mend
The echoes of my past
They rattle so loud
This b*tch ain't in heat.
I'll show you heat.
awake, to
the rhythm of my heart
It's in that silent scream
Where redemption starts
The cold winds carry names,
of those who've come and gone
And with each whispered note
I find where I belong
I'm walking
On this narrow
line between the lies...
(boom)
Wait, wait, come on.
Worn dusty barstools
they feel like home
But the echoes of the past
won't leave me alone
The weight of all I've done
It's heavy on my chest
Every night I search
One more, baby.
Let's do it.
(laughs)
All right,
one more to old Bojack.
It's Bojack's last love, buddy.
A koala named Chlamydia.
(laughs)
I'm sorry,
what did you just say?
Huh?
Oh, I was just talking
about the garbanzo beans
were really hard this year.
Very happy to be
here with you tonight.
Yeah.
Want some more?
Eat up, buddy.
Eat up.
I'm just pain
Pull over right here.
My Heart's
long stopped from loneliness
You have a unique
taste in vehicles, son.
Throw the keys out of the
window and step out slowly.
You driving a stolen vehicle?
Where's the owner of this truck?
Actually, he's
back at the house.
And why are you
wearing his clothes?
Hmm?
Step away from the vehicle.
Um, just waiting for a friend.
(tazer firing)
Never talk when a man,
a law man is talking.
You understand?
Huh?
(electrocution sounds)
Putney, what the hell?
He's driving a stolen vehicle.
Dude.
What?
That's not stolen, that's
his car, this is my date.
That's not the same guy.
That is the same guy.
That's not, he's not the guy.
He is the guy.
That's not the guy.
That's the guy.
Dude, the rest of us
shouldn't have to suffer
because you can't get
your meds right, okay?
You should probably just go.
I'm gonna report
you to your superior.
Don't point that at me, just go.
One.
Two.
He's like a damn child.
Dude, are you okay?
(grunting)
Dude, are you sure you're okay?
I'll be fine,
just give me a minute.
(grunting)
(police siren)
What?
You proud of yourself?
Go find something to do.
How far did you say
this motel was from here?
Thanks.
You're welcome.
(clearing throat)
What the?
f*cking Putney!
I got an idea, get out.
...And then you're busy
feeding them all year long.
Rain, snow sleet or shine,
You're out there
takin' care of them.
Babyin' 'em.
Then when the spring time
comes around, hopefully--
My girlfriend Michaela's in
here on a Tinder date.
She'll let us use her car.
Michaela?
Michaela, yeah,
I texted her to that.
We were gonna come grab
her keys, so just go in there
and look for
the pretty stuck up girl
that's talking to a douchebag.
Should be hard to miss.
Yeah, I don't see it,
but why don't you just--
It's probably just
better if you go in there,
the bartender's not
exactly my biggest fan.
No, I got that,
but why don't you just--
I've got an unpaid tab.
I'm not prepared to
pay today, so, go on in.
Michaela.
Michaela.
Memories ride on the lightning
Thunder
crashes deep in my soul
Move over.
Here's to the
bee that stung the bowl
That got the bowl of buckin'
Here's to you, here's to me
Shall we never disagree
f*ck you, here's to us
Yeah!
Now I plead to the raging sky
End these
floods, before hope dies
Release my
heart from drowning light
To soar
above this endless night
See you in a second, Michaela.
Michaela.
Can I help you?
I'm good, man, I just need
to talk to the lady here.
Is your name Michaela?
Just need to ask
her a few questions.
Hey, you know this fella?
No.
Look, your friend
Jazz outside, she says--
Hey, take a hike, pal.
I'm just trying to
talk to her, all right?
I'm letting you know,
your friend Jazz is outside.
She says she needs to
borrow your keys to your car.
Hey, look--
Hey, look, she says
she doesn't know you.
Beat it.
Look, Michaela, just go
outside and talk to Jazz, okay?
Michaela, is
there a problem here?
Um, no, actually.
No problem at all.
Um, I'm good.
I'll keep fighting, fighting
'Til the flood becomes my home
Barkeep, give me two
of your strongest drugs,
and one for my friend here.
Two adrenals coming up.
With wings
wide open seeking grace
Oh, sky keeps
fighting, won't let me go
Heartache's
river never flows slow
In this
storm, Im losing hold
You deserve that.
It appears you do too.
Hey, Bluetooth, another
round for my
old friend Zee gear.
You got it, my man.
How did you leave me?
Why?
You do realize this
was the stupidest thing
you could have
possibly done, don't you?
I got a confession
now that I'm back.
I feel like I
can't even go outside,
because the
stars don't move, man.
Yeah, it feels like
we're frozen in time.
Does it feel real?
Tell you what.
There are a couple
ways we can do this.
You can just tell me what
Lazarus' last words were.
And where the
other Telorbital pair is.
And I promise, I won't beat you
within an inch of your life.
f*ck' yeah.
sh*t!
(glass crashing)
(grunting)
(scream)
(grunting)
f*ck, Lynn!
(grunting)
Quaid?
Miss me, baby.
No, no, no, no, no!
Are you out of your mind?
Drop the f*cking
bottle of mind to business.
Now this is my business.
(grunting)
Let me help you
out there, buddy.
(grunting)
(grunting)
(crashing)
Good job
Can't tell the truth
Cause it's too risky
Now I'm telling me
I'm bleeding whiskey
Are you ok?
(tires screeching)
(police siren)
Well, well, well.
Nothing better
to do, huh, Putney?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you
know you breaking code?
Oh yeah, you're gonna follow me?
Up, get up, come on.
Breaking code.
That's right.
Easy, oh God.
It's all over the neighborhood.
Ugh, I feel like
I'm in high school.
Creeps in the
neighborhood,
just don't know how to--
Come on, Putney.
This is my job.
You won't know my job.
This is your job?
My job.
Pretty sad, don't you think?
What's the shake meter for, huh?
Shake meter?
You don't even
know what that is.
Geiger counter?
Ooh, Einstein, do you
even know what this does?
It's not ill*gal.
It's ill*gal in my town.
You don't get to
make up laws, dude.
Holy sh*t.
Now I'm gonna get you
for police brutality.
Oh my God,
you are not smart, look.
Ow, whoa, ow.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Seriously.
Holy sh*t.
Oh, wow.
Jeez.
(sirens blaring)
(sirens blaring)
Putney, I got it.
But, but--
Putney, seriously.
It's my civilized duty.
Civil duty.
I've heard it both ways.
Quaid?
Hey, excuse me a second.
Oh, you want some of this?
Uh, no, um, could you
just do that again for me?
You got it.
(grunting)
(screaming)
Welcome back, Quaid.
(coughing)
(sighing)
Holy sh*t, Stoolman.
Is that you?
Putney.
What's going on, man?
What's, what's new?
You're what's new.
Yeah, see, everything was good.
Real good.
Until you decided to
show the f*ck up back here.
Yeah.
It's nice to
see you too, Putney.
See, you're just the
same as you used to be.
Hey, Quaid.
Yeah.
God, I thought you
were just your face hurt.
Yeah, it does.
Good.
f*cking bad dream.
Yeah, well,
speaking of bad dreams,
if you don't tell
me what Lazarus said.
I can't assure you.
Your dream's about to get a
whole hell of a lot worse.
I am perfectly fine.
You're not gonna say anything?
I'm, I'm kinda scared to.
Well, don't just sit there.
(gasping)
Micaela.
(gasping)
Hey, Jazz.
How you doing?
So much better now.
(grunting)
Where the hell have you been?
Hey, can you do that again?
Yeah.
Buddy, arrest this man.
It's his fault, he
started the whole thing.
He came in there and
started asking for my keys.
It's okay, it's okay.
Look, look, look
Nurse Rochelle, listen,
I need to--
It's Rachel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I've heard it
both ways, both ways.
Listen, she's
free to be discharged,
but these two are under arrest
and are to
remain in county custody.
Oh, you're gonna have to
do some paperwork for that,
so you're gonna
have to come out with me.
Yeah, yeah,
no problem, no problem.
Come with me, now.
I'm okay
No, no--
Putney, Putney, I'm fine, stop.
Just go, dude.
Hey, can you
just help me get out of
these cuffs, please?
Not until you
answer my question.
Oh my God, is she serious?
No one's talking
to you, just shut up.
Not I missed you.
Hey, love birds.
You know what, I have an idea.
Grab him.
Jazz, this is not a good idea.
Shut up.
This is not a good idea.
Can you fill
this up for me, please?
Sure thing, there beautiful.
Yeah, I saw what you did, there.
You're flirting
with me, aren't you?
No.
And why not?
is the burning
question, you know?
I'm not sayin', but I'm sayin,
You see what I'm saying?
That's all I'm saying.
I'm not saying anything
else, but--
Can you fill that out, please?
I'm going to fill this out
and put my
phone number right here
for you to call at any
time you have any problems,
concerns, or cuss words.
(laughing)
No.
We all know
what no means, right?
Thank you.
You are more than welcome there.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
(kiss) Mmm.
(upbeat music)
f*ck!
Yo, we breaking out,
seeing the gates go down What!
Run faster
than the speed of sound
We don't mess around, mad love
Got us reckless, stressless
sh*t.
Babe, you better hold on.
I got you, don't worry.
You okay?
How do you think I'm doing?
Come on, baby,
we're almost there.
In sanity's halls
it's our
love we're standing tall
Mad Love. Breaking chains
Holy sh*t, Jazz.
Hang on, baby.
This ugly cage
Feel the rage
Mad love
It's our stage
Oh sh*t.
Oh sh*t.
Whoa.
Ohh sh*t.
(screaming)
Ha ha ha ha!
Holy sh*t.
I don't know if
I wanna punch him.
Or kiss him.
Kiss him?
What's wrong with me?
Esperado siete
aAos por este imbAccil
I want answers right now.
The hell it isn't.
I've waited seven damn years
to hear what happened
to this hijo de puta.
You think I'm gonna
waste another dumb-damn
minute obsessing over this?
I wanna know.
Where were you?
Why did you leave?
Baby, I...
Baby, I really, really
wanna tell you right now,
but can we please just
get me out of these cuffs?
Hey lady.
God, I'm not
talking to you, as*h*le.
Shush.
Listen, there's a lot
more important things
that we need to be
worried about right now.
All I wanna know,
where the f*ck were you
for seven damn years?
I waited for you.
I waited
almost four years for you,
thinking you'd come back.
Four years, Quaid.
God, Putney, you idiot.
Whoa, there we go.
I waited, f*ck it.
Just f*ck it.
And you, yeah, you,
buddy, f*ck you, as*h*le.
And f*ck you, Quaid.
f*ck you, and
whatever dumb f*cking reason
you thought it was a good idea
to come
back into my life thinking
I wanted
anything to do with you.
Because I don't.
You hear me, Quaid Branson?
I don't ever wanna
f*cking see you again.
I f*ck' hate you.
I don't ever
wanna f*cking see you again
f*cking as*h*le!
f*ck you!
f*cking as*h*le!
Don't!
Stay here,
don't, don't, don't go.
She's just a little
high-strung right now.
I think she's
got a lot on her mind.
Just let me out
of the cuffs, okay?
You want out?
I'll tell you
where the Telorbitals are.
Just, just let me go, man.
Tell me what Lazarus said first.
Just let
me f*cking go after her,
and I'll tell you where the
g*dd*mn Telorbital's are.
All right, fine,
stay here and rot.
Come on.
Excuse me.
Hey, can I help you?
Mind if I borrow your bike?
f*ck no.
(wind)
(windmill creaking)
(engine starts)
(engine revs)
Stumblin' from this darkness
Got this pain in my side
Feels like
everything I've ever done
Don't ever turn out right
My heart's long
stopped from loneliness
(gasp)
What's up, b*tch?
Good morning, Jazz.
Sooner or later,
you're gonna have one wreck
you ain't walking away from.
(engine revs)
(tires screech)
(impact)
(gasp in pain)
You really oughta watch
where you're going there, Zeke
Oh, Zeke!
Hey!
Hey, did that hurt?
Hey!
Did that hurt?
Yeah, that hurt.
Good, good.
(grunts)
(clicks)
Piece of sh*t.
Get up.
Come on.
(grunts)
In that one brief
shining moment, I knew...
I had-had a glimpse of hope
In that
one brief shining moment
You as*h*le.
Where were you?
No.
Where were you?
I came back for you.
Don't.
Wait!
as*h*le!
Wait, damn it!
Stop, stop. I hate you!
Put me down you as*h*le
(grunts)
(car engine revving)
I give up all my tomorrow
Sorry, dude.
No!
To spend my
whole life in this moment
If only
you tell me you'll stay
If only
you tell me you'll stay
(upbeat music)
But I never imagined
your secrets
To be more painful than mine
To know I
was just a distraction
While you were
just killin' time.
I told you I didn't leave you.
I was abducted.
(siren)
My Hope was lost to me...
Oh, yes she was.
Hold on fish.
Hold on. Hold on.
Hey! Hey!
Hold on to him, would ya?
And don't spill him!
To surrender to her future
Without the need to know.
We all pick our vices
That's our
damn freedom to choose
But we left to our own devices
We're gonna get you out of here.
What?
But I can't leave.
Look, I have kids.
Since when do you have kids?
Look, I'm a stepmom, all right?
I have three girls.
Look, I can't leave them.
Three girls?
To spend my
whole life in this moment,
If only
you'd tell me you'll stay
Oh, if only
you'd tell me you'll stay
If only
you'd tell me you'll stay
If only
you'd tell me you'll stay
Yeah!
(siren blaring)
Hold on to my f*cking fish!
Do not spill it!
(grunting)
Putney, stop!
(grunting)
[grunts]
Oh.
[grunts]
[tazer]
[screams]
[grunts]
(scream)
Oh, sh*t.
And she's dead.
Oh, that's ironic.
You m*therf*cker.
(crying)
(horse nickering)
(tense music)
(engine revving)
Look, as much as I would
love to leave this town,
I have to think about
what's best for the girls, okay?
I can't just get up and leave.
Baby, we gotta go, all right?
Just trust me.
Micaela!
What the hell happened to you?
What's going on?
No, Matt, I'm fine.
Who's-- who's-- who's--
Quaid!
Quaid!
Oh, sh*t!
sh*t, it's you!
What's up, buddy?
What's going on? Where you been?
Man, love to
catch up and tell you a
little bit about it,
but we're in a little bit
of a hurry here, all right?
What's-- what's going on?
We're outta here.
Hey, uh, let me borrow
the keys to the banana boat.
Ah, hell no. Easy, yeah.
Take it easy, yeah.
Let's go.
What the f*ck?
[horse whinnying]
[grunting]
(engine starting)
[grunting]
(panting)
[tires screech]
Thought you could use this.
What does this mean to you?
That's granite rock.
That heart marks where
Quaid proposed to Michaela.
[grunting]
Thought you could use these.
No, I'm not talking about
just leaving the city, baby.
I'm talking about
leaving the planet.
That's gotta be granite
rock where we all been camping.
Are you sure? Trust me.
That heart marks where
Quaid proposed to Michaela.
And that is the second
quickest way out there.
[engine rumbling]
(thunder)
Wait, just stop!
Just come on.
Just think of it as
Victor's last toast, okay?
All right, this is
final engagement gift to us.
We're almost there.
Not much further.
And just a heads up, I know I
may look sweet and innocent,
but I'm damaged goods.
Dear old mom saw to that.
Oh, and your logic
has to yield to mine.
I also really
love cave-age cheese.
[grunting]
What about you?
What do you like?
Look, I'm really
not the kind of guy you
want to get involved with.
I'm not gonna be on
this rock for very long.
All the better. I'm not
looking for a one-night stand.
That's too much of a commitment.
Let's keep it to an hour or two.
Well, I'm glad
we worked that out.
Yeah, me too.
Wouldn't want you
getting too attached.
How about after
this I pretend to go out
for a pack of smokes
and I don't come back?
You promise?
Never see me again.
You have no idea what
you're getting yourself into.
Mm-hmm.
Ruin me.
Ahem!
And what he's saying.
Everything's so
crazy, it scares me.
I don't know how or
if I even believe him.
What about Zeke?
Has he said anything?
Hasn't said much no.
But I have no
reason not to believe him.
Besides, I saw the portal
that B.B. and
the girls found.
B.B. and the
girls... What?
What do you mean B.B. and
the girls
showed you a portal?
(geiger counter clicking)
[grunts]
[panting]
[splash]
[grunts]
[splash]
[grunts]
No, no, no, no, no, no!
[splash]
[panting]
(sigh)
That's bullshit, man!
How do you even know
he's the real Lazarus?
I know.
[grunts]
How?
What did you ask?
Oh.
What did you ask him?
We'll step you
forward and ask...
Who would he say is Lazarus?
He would say that I am Lazarus.
So that way, I knew
no matter who I asked,
all I had to do was exact
opposite of what he said.
[grunts]
He told you where
the Telorbitals were.
This is Avian tech.
Tech given cane by the Anunnaki.
Not even the
greys have this tech.
And more importantly,
something's got you spooked.
All the questions I
asked of Lazarus in life,
he told me he'd answer in death.
[whoosh]
Morning has come,
75-76-77-78-79-710-711-712
(gasping)
[whoosh]
What's it mean?
It's scripture.
Ezekiel 7:5-7:12.
What does it say?
Oh, sh*t.
(thunder)
Oh, yeah. Come on.
So now you understand, right?
The purpose of
this galactic w*r.
No, man. I'm
not going back.
What, you think
you're gonna stay here?
Knowing what's coming,
there's no hiding from this.
[phone ringing]
[gasps]
Mom, where are you?
Hey, baby. I'm sorry I
didn't come home last night.
What are you doing?
I'm in the razor. Where are
you? We're
coming to get you.
Why?
Is Jazz with you?
Honey, what's wrong?
Remember what that guy said.
Something else just
came through the portal.
Oh, no.
Zeke! What's
going on? Zeke!
Zeke!
Quaid!
It's started.
Now wait. You wait.
You're gonna have to make
a choice.
There's no time.
(thunder increases)
(click)
(energy blast)
(energy blast)
Wait, no!
(engine winding down)
[expl*si*n]
(soulful music)
Woke up feeling empty.
Every heart feels like lead.
Why is every
devil trying to tempt me?
Oh, no.
The shadows
fighting in my head.
So much happened
since I left you, baby.
Don't know where to begin.
My whole life
has been a maybe.
From since I don't know when.
I've sailed
beyond the
rings of the Saturn.
And left Jupiter far behind.
Oh, so far behind
since I left you, baby.
I've completely
gone and lost my mind.
Breathing tepid silence
burning in my soul.
Hopes and dreams have faded.
My bleeding heart turned cold.
We all stop fighting
when there's nothing.
When there's
nothing left to save.
Now for me all that's left is
watching the
twilight from my grave.
Since I left you, baby
I don't know how to explain.
I've seen
cosmic wonders that'd make
Oh, yeah.
That'd make
even dead men go insane
So now I... Now I
haunt these dusty roads
along with chaos
and only myself to blame
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Double vision got me
fighting shadows off the wall.
I'm spitting blood and silence
trying not to fall.
Since I left you, baby,
don't know what to say.
I'm bleeding
for your attention.
Don't know any other way.
They say
blind trust is foolish.
Oh, yes it is.
But what else am I to do?
If I crossed an ocean of stars
Oh, yeah.
Just to come back for you.
God knows.
The good lord knows.
You'd never believe it's true.
Say that I, oh, yeah.
That I, that I
crossed an ocean of stars.
Oh yes I did!
Just to get back to you
Lord knows
That you'd never believe
It's something I could do.
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Mischief Upon Mischief (2025)
Moderators: Maskath3, sidolanters, GabrielAlejo2341
Watch on Amazon Sci-Fi Merch Collectables
Space, Time-travel, Futuristic, Aliens, Sci-Fi movie collection.
Space, Time-travel, Futuristic, Aliens, Sci-Fi movie collection.