02x07 - Freeze Out

[bunniefuu]

[dogs screaming]

[ship crashes]

♪ Dig this
We're the last hope of the human race ♪

♪ Embark on a journey ♪

♪ Into outer space ♪

♪ Blast off, there's no going back
We're on our way ♪

♪ Dogs in Space! ♪

♪ Woo! ♪

♪ Dogs in Space! ♪

[dramatic music playing]

[gasps]

Captain Happy, are you hurt?

[shivering] Captain Stella,
backup requested.

My crew, they... they've been taken.
I lost control.

Well, look who's finally as cold
on the outside as he is on the inside.

[camera clicks]

Happy, is your crew safe?

I don’t know. Please hurry.

Nomi, deploy thermal tracking.

I hope your face doesn't freeze off.

But, hey! Good thing you've got
two of them! Right, guys?

[shivering] Oh, what a surprise.

Garbage would rather sabotage me
than help me.

That really rings a bell!

What? That was a long time ago, Happy.

Ooh, what was a long time ago?

[both] Nothing!

He's not far.

Well, everything's far. Space is huge.

[chuckles] But still.

Good. Redirect. And step on it.

Thank you, Captain.

Garbage, you can't...

What? If we're gonna save him,
we might as well do it right.

[gasps] He'll need soup.
I'll go make soup.

-BRB! Don't ask me any questions!
-[thud]

Chonies? Is your little spinny-guy
picking up Happy's location?

It looks like he's that way.

Come on, everyone! Let's hustle!

[wind blowing]

There he is!

-[teeth chattering]
-[Stella gasps]

[grunts]

Thank you so much, Captain Stella.

Team effort. But don’t thank us yet.
Chonies, get a read on--

Happy, I brought you soup
so you don't die.

Yeah, right.

What's the catch? Did you cough on it?
Is it full of hornets?

The catch is you're already dead inside,
so, uh, soup-sicle?

You sure your crew is in there?

That's where we were taken.

The creatures. I couldn’t stop them.

And aren't you lucky we were--

I do not need your sarcasm.

Well, I don’t need you.

But I'm here to help you anyway.

Oh, great, your help.

-The most unhelpful help there is!
-[grunts]

You'd have left me to die
if you were still in charge.

I still would be in charge
if it wasn't for you!

You and the Council took my captaincy
away from me!

Just like you tried to take mine!

-I never!
-Enough!

[grunts]

I have had it with you two constantly
at each other's throats!

And we are all sick of it!

You need to figure this out!

[tongue pops]

How come you've always
had it in for Garbage?

He's a good dog!

A good dog? Spare me.

If you all knew what he did to me
back when we were training,

you'd see Garbage for who he really is!

Oh, that's rich coming from you!

[gibberish]

Not the boots, not the boots,
watch the boots!

[grunting]

-[grunts]
-Ow!

[groans]

[grunts]

[laughs]

[screams]

[grunts]

[loud buzzing]

[sighs]

Well-played, Garbage.
Your uppercut is getting--

-Upp-ier and cutt-ier?
-[laughs]

Did they genetically enhance
your sense of humor, bro?

'Cause that is some sweet wordplay.

And you should be a pro wrestler
with those sparring skills, bro.

I'll write your cool one-liners.

Aww, thanks, Garb.

Man, I'm so glad that we're best friends
for life who will never betray each other.

[Garbage] That is not what you said!

It's the gist of it!

Let me tell the story!

Nice one, Garb.
That fake out you did was sick!

I totally believed
you dislocated your forehead.

And I totally believe we're gonna be
captains one day, together.

Heck, yeah! I would never let anything
get in the way of our best bud-ship.

That's a promise.

[boing, quacking]

[spookily] Gentle-dogs!

Time for appraisals!

Also, boo!

Why have you made him a ghost?

This is a boring bit.
I'm just trying to spice it up.

I liked it.

-[roar]
-[grunts]

I wouldn't know if he was a ghost.
I skipped appraisals.

I assessed myself and sent them my scores.

I did well.

I remember mine.

They said "Ed would excel
at law un-enforcement."

[roar]

[chuckles]

[roar]

Anyway...

Happy, your scores are exceptional.

You're on track for captaincy.

What? Really? That's great!

There's still the final obstacle course.

We have to see how captain-ly you are
with speed, dexterity, heights.

[winces]

But if you pass, you're a shoo-in.

[gasps] I'm on track for captaincy?

Uh, no. We said you don't listen.

High scores in loyalty and heart,

uh, but teamwork and leadership,
ooh, ouch.

Your best chance of active service
on a ship is maybe as a pilot.

But your scores indicate you'd be
far better-suited to a civilian role.

Balloon dog, a tea shop assistant.

Tea shop? Really?

[clanging]

It's not a reflection on you, Garb.

It's exactly a reflection on me.

That's what an assessment is.

[arcade sound dies down]

Ugh! It kills me to let Chelsea down.

No, look, they said we can be promoted.

It'll take longer, but I know you can be
anything you want.

Captain? From balloon dog?

[thump]

Hey, I haven't clinched
captaincy myself yet.

There's the obstacle course,

and no amount of training
could make me not scared of heights.

Maybe we'll be a balloon dog duo.

[bells ringing]

[gasps]

[panting]

[panting continues]

[grunts]

Garbage, tell it like it
actually happened.

Actually, that is what happened.

My human owner back on Earth
put me through severe Pavlovian training.

Pavlovian. Like Pavlov's dog with the bell
and the drooling?

Yeah. Except with me,
it wasn't just the one bell.

He had this whole set of hand bells.

He trained me to do
whatever he wanted automatically.

Ding dong, jump, Happy.

Ding, roll over, Happy.

Ding, ding, tango with me, Happy.

I had no idea!

[crunch]

That's terrible!

I'm just glad to be out of there.

I know you and your owner are cool,

but here, I got a bit more control
over my--

[bells ringing]

[gasps]

[grunting]

On the plus side, you can tango?
You gotta teach me!

Hey, I meant what I said before, okay?

Even if I become captain before you,
it won't change our friendship.

[Garbage] You're lying!

Then and now!

I'm paraphrasing! It's hard to recall
exact details when we're dodging--

[grunts] What are those?

-[grunting]
-[ice crunching]

[ice crunching, thudding]

[spits]

-Ah!
-[ice crunching]

[rope whirring]

[grunts]

Whoa! No!

You did that on purpose!

How?

-Ow!
-[gasps]

Talk about a brain freeze. [chuckles]

If you're still able to think of bad puns,

they didn't hit your brain hard enough.
You're okay.

You wanna know who isn't okay? Me.
With what Happy did next!

Hey, buddy. Scoot over. Hi, all!

Whoa, that was so slick!

Thanks. I never even practiced that.

Just nailed it the first time.

Beat it, pal. Future captains only.

Oh, don't you worry.

I'm well on my way
to being captain, right, Happy?

Oh, with your balloon animal crew?

Ugh, sorry.

[laughing]

Hey, can we talk after training?

Yeah, uh, I said I'd go to mini-golf
with the captains, but... but after.

No, it's okay.
I'm playing big golf with...

that guy.

Hi. Just to warn ya,
even mini-golf is too big for me.

Sure. I'm Garbage, by the way.

Oh, don't be so hard on yourself.
I'm Chonies.

[softly] I can see us being best friends.
I mean not too fast but...

[soft music playing]

Hey, Garb?

Listen, about earlier...

You told them about my appraisal results?

How would you like it if I told
your new buddies

about your weird bell hypnosis thing?

I know. I'm sorry.

You said it's not gonna change
our friendship, but it already has.

I can't not be a captain with you.

You could train me up.

What? No. Garb, that's--

I gotta prove I have what it takes!

You said you see that in me, right?

Yeah, but I haven't prepped for my test.
It's in a week.

I-I can't risk, your scores
aren't high en--

Ugh! You're right. I shouldn't have asked.

It's just, today felt really lousy.

Oh, what the heck.

The higher we get your scores now,
sooner we'll be co-captains, right?

Yes! You're not gonna regret this!

Just to be clear,
I massively regretted this.

[upbeat music]

[thud]

♪ Yeah-ah ♪

[grunts, thuds]

♪ Train me up to be the greatest bro
There’s ever been ♪

♪ Train me up
Unlock the power hiding deep within... ♪

Ugh!

♪ Train me up
Together there ain’t nothin’ we can’t do ♪

♪ Cause you brolieve in me ♪

♪ And I brolieve in you ♪

♪ Train me up! ♪

[grunts]

[sighs] Okay, the spirit is there,

but you ignore protocol a lot.

I just put my own spin on things.
I got pizzaz, flair!

P.R.A.T.S isn't looking for flair.
The fate of the Earth is at stake.

Totally, good note.

Anyway, don't worry,

-you'll do better tomorrow.
-Wait, what?

You'll train me better tomorrow.

It'll be awesome. You got this!

Ugh!

You think I'm the problem?
I can't train you better, dude.

You're not missing skills, you're missing
common sense! I can't fix that!

Forget about being captain, Garb.

[grunts]

Spoiler alert, I did not forget
about being captain.

[gasps]

What happened next?

Seriously. We're invested now.

Allow me to tell this part.

I was there for it.

[whooping, chuckles] Happy messed up.

A real friend wouldn't just
drop you like that.

-You're right, Chonies.
-[grunts]

But it's my fault.

We had this plan of being
captains together,

and I let my jealousy get in the way.

You hurt him. You can't un-ring that bell.

But you can make new friends.
You already have.

[bells ringing]

Un-ring the bell. That's it!

Chonies, you genius!

I'm gonna win my best friend back
thanks to you.

Or you can have a fresh start
with a new best frie--

[sighs]

This course tests your speed
under pressure.

We'll send you commands in real time.

Don't worry, Happy. I'm gonna make up
for the time I cost you.

Let's get you that captaincy.

[buzzer ringing]

Now jump!

Crawl under the swinging pool noodle!

Good.

Now zigzag away from the space dinosaur!

[metal clanging]

Disarm that expl*sive!

[rapid beeping, crackling]

Blast that target!

Great! Now climb that rope!

I got you, buddy.

I think he said climb was ding,
or was it ding dong?

-[rings bell]
-[grunts] Huh?

Oh, no, wrong bell! Sorry!

-[rings bell]
-[grunts]

-Sorry, sorry, sorry, I can fix this!
-[rings bell]

[grunts]

[sniffs]

[grunts]

[groans]

[bells ringing]

[growls]

[grunts]

[gasps, grunts]

[bell ringing]

Ow!

[grunts]

[groans, gasps]

I know, I'm sorry. I can explain.

Uh, you deployed far more flair
than we'd like.

But despite that, you made it through.

Congratulations, Captain Happy!

Well done, bud! You did it!

I cannot believe you tried to sabotage me!
I trusted you!

W-what?

Happy, no. I wanted to help!

You were nervous about climbing so--

Admit it, you couldn't deal with me
being a captain without you.

Yes, I admit it! But I realized
friendship is more important.

The second you got a sniff of captaincy,
you forgot our plans.

What plans?

To be in this together!

You almost cost me my captaincy.

Almost! Almost means I didn't.

That means I helped you, Happy!

Captain Happy! I'm your superior.

First order, stay out of my way.

Sounds like your loyalty
wasn't appreciated.

Not by him, at least.

Stardust is the name. I'm a Pisces.

Garbage. I'm a... corgi.

You were at the captain's table.

Yes. I could see you were hungry.

Well, it was lunchtime.

No, for a seat!

Judging by what you did for Happy,

you've got exactly what
a good captain needs.

Chutzpah! Guts! Grit!

Pep! Pluck! Nerve!

Vim! Vigor! Zest!

Moxie!

Aren't all those the same thing?

You have much to learn,

but the stars are aligned
in your favor, my boy.

There might just be a place
for a dog like you on my crew.

[panting]

So you see, Stella, it's Garbage's fault
we don’t get along.

What are you talking about?

Both of you are clearly at fault.

-Yeah!
-Clearly.

You both put being captain
before being friends.

-But Garbage sabotaged--
-But Happy abandoned--

Ugh! Enough!

[roaring]

[grunts]

[screams]

[roar]

[grunts]

[grunting]

This is for trying to ice my crew!

[grunts]

[roar]

[laughs]

[grunts]

[thuds]

[groans]

[wind blowing]

[grunts]

Happy?

I never tried to stop you
from being a captain.

I just didn't want you
to stop being my friend.

I know. And I guess
I should have believed you.

Wow. Finally you're sorry.

Uh, no, you are.

Me? No, you said it.

What? I-I never did. I--

It's freezing! Get in here, you two!

♪ Train me up to be the greatest bro
There’s ever been ♪

♪ Train me up
Unlock the power hiding deep within ♪

♪ Train me up
Together there ain’t nothin’ we can’t do ♪

♪ 'Cause you brolieve in me ♪

♪ And I brolieve in you ♪

♪ Train me up, I know we'll always be
The best of friends ♪

♪ Train me up
Happy and Garbage till the very end ♪

♪ Train me up
We're never ever gonna fuss or fight ♪

♪ We're gonna be best bros
Until the end of time ♪

♪ Train me up! ♪