02x04 - MVP: Marcus Very Pissed

[bunniefuu]

[scribbling]

[scribbling]

[hip-hop music playing]

[announcer] Hi, everybody.
Welcome to LA Waves Basketball.

[Ness sighs]

Hey, Ness, this is not
your own personal food trough.

What are you talking about? This is
shareable. This is a family value pack.

Isla, we can't keep this seat empty
all season. It's a total waste of money.

Yeah, and it makes us look bad.

Jake from State Farm
could be sitting here.

What the--

Oh hey. Big fan.

This seat won't be empty all season.

Okay, do you think Ali's just
gonna come storming in here one night

saying she's sorry and beg to come back?

Wake up, dum-dum.
Not gonna happen. She's gone.

The sooner you get that
through your thick skull,

the better off we'll all be.

- Have some dog.
- Get that out of my face.

You're lucky I have a second one.

[announcer] Tie game, 15 seconds left.

Who is Norm Stinson gonna give
the last shot to?

Horns! Horns! Double action!

[crowd chanting]

[announcer] Gibbs flashes on the wing.

Gets the ball.

Splits the double-team.

Puts up the shot and gets the roll.

What a call by Coach Stinson.

[announcer 2] This kid's really stepping
up and becoming a leader on this team.

What the f*ck!

Oh my God!

[all grunting]

You did it! Oh my God!

- Wham, bam, Cam!
- Dude!

Oh! What is it, 2016?
That was like some prime Marcus out there.

It's always prime Marcus out there, baby.

When I saw Dyson taking that last shot,
I was like, "What the f*ck is Norm doing?"

"Doesn't he realize
we got Marcus Winfield on the squad?"

We got the W. They were double-teaming me
all night anyway.

- Hey, I like that attitude.
- [laughs]

Everybody's gotta pass the torch
at some point.

I'm missing Lizzy's birthday,
but I wanna get together with you.

Let's get the kids together.

- Yeah.
- All right. Good job, everybody. Good job.

[upbeat music playing]

Yeah, well, I told Lisa
that silk is a very clingy fabric,

so she better start
wearing underwear. [laughs]

- Yeah, I know.
- [video clicks]

[Isla] Jesus Christ, Sandy!

The CFO of our company cannot be seen
in the background of a reality TV show

with no pants on.

Look how pale your a*s is.
I mean, get a spray tan.

Have some self-respect, for God's sake.

Why did you pause it? Turn it off.

And how is this basic cable?

- Oh, you can see his ba*ls.
- Oh!

Hey, this is my personal life
and frankly, none of any of your business.

You've made it our business, haven't you?
Lizzy watches this sh*t with her friends.

Want every yenta in Brentwood to know
you got a lopsided nutsack?

Sandy, you are responsible
for the financial health of this team.

If everyone thinks
that you're the next Tom Sandoval,

it's a bad look.

[spluttering] Time-out. I got this, okay?

Listen to me.

Who wouldn't want to be on a Bravo show?
But not like this.

- I told you guys that I met Andy Cohen.
- Enough with the Andy Cohen.

- Sandy, you have to fix this.
- Okay, fine. I will talk to Charlie.

Could you please stop replaying it?
Turn it off. It's going back and forth.

- That's right.
- It's a boomerang now.

- [Ness] No, 'cause--
- [Sandy] How's it doing that?

♪ Go ♪

♪ Get it ♪

♪ Go ♪

♪Get it ♪

♪ Go... ♪

[announcer] LA is down one
but has the ball.

Curious to see
what Norm Stinson draws up here.

Okay, this is us. We got this game, guys.

Travis, you're coming out for the ball.
Marcus, you run the baseline to the wing.

Everyone thinks it's going to him.

Travis, you fake it hard to him,
hit Dyson for the backdoor. Got it?

- Pause.
- Easy bucket. Let's go.

Come on, hands in.

- Waves on three. One, two, three.
- [players] Waves!

- Yo, hit me. I'm gonna be open.
- But Coach said give it to Dyson.

Coach? Man, coach been here ten minutes.
Just give me the f*cking rock.

- [crowd cheering]
- [whistle blows]

It's getting spicy.

[announcer] Coburn inbounds to Bugg.
Marcus and Dyson look to get open.

Travis hits Marcus.
He has to rush a three.

- [buzzer blares]
- [announcer] No good, and LA loses.

[announcer 2] Not a bad idea
letting Marcus take the last shot,

but you gotta wonder why
they didn't ride the hot hand in Dyson.

What the hell was that?

[music continues]

[music ends]

- Hey, how was work?
- God, it was amazing.

Harry Hamlin let me try
his famous spaghetti sauce,

and he fed it to me on a spoon.

And Lisa was like,
"Oh, don't make me jealous."

And I said,
"Jealous? You're about to be single."

- [laughs]
- Wow, that's cool.

Um... could we talk for a sec?

Yeah, of... of course.

I am so happy for you,

and I love our life,

specifically our home life.

- So do I.
- Right?

So I was hoping that you could tell Lisa

that they can't film
here in our home anymore.

- Oh, is this about the acne on your butt?
- What? Are people talking about that?

Well--

Yeah, yeah.
I guess it's about that now too.

Okay? I can't be
in the background of a reality show.

Okay? It's too embarrassing.

Embarrassing?

Wow, this... this is like my dream.

And I am so glad that you love
your new job and that you feel fulfilled,

but can you maybe see
that it's not also my dream?

Okay. Yeah, okay.

I, uh... I'll tell the producers
that we can't sh**t here anymore.

- Oh, thank you. Thank you.
- [knocking on door]

Yo! Driving through the old hood.
Figured I'd just pop in.

- You live 45 minutes away.
- [Ness scoffs]

Not a thing.
How are my two favorite queens doing, huh?

Should we make some mojitos, have a kiki?

- Are you wearing makeup?
- Nah. Charlie, my diva, have a kiki?

Stop saying "kiki," okay?
There's no cameras here.

Are you serious?

I went through full glam for this.
It's like 400 bucks.

- Oh my God.
- I gotta go.

They did a terrible job.
Are your kids in the car?

- It's fine. They have their tablets.
- Oh my God.

[upbeat dramatic music playing]

- [Isla] Mmm.
- [Lev] Mmm.

- Mm-hmm. I like the lemon.
- Mm-hmm.

Well, the chocolate tastes
like a Hostess CupCake.

[grunts] I'm kinda feeling
the one with all three combined.

[Lev] Oh God.

- Ness, that's my spit cup.
- [Ness gags]

Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt dessert,
I guess, but we gotta talk.

I should probably get to work.

Plus, what Ness did made me real sick.
Might be done with cake forever.

- Goodbye.
- Me too.

Okay.

Uh, we got big problems
in the locker room.

Oh, does Brielle like Dyson too?

Travis, some people are just meant to
be alone, and they live very full lives.

What? No, me and Brielle are in love.

Okay, look.

[gasps] Great!

- Yeah, it's for a magazine cover.
- Which one?

None yet,
but I was hoping you could hook me up.

I can call a friend at Condé Nast, maybe.

- Kinda Nasty? That sounds tight.
- Travis, what do you need?

Look, Marcus is not feeling coach at all,
all right?

And although I like Norm,

and I've always wanted
a firm, yet loving father figure,

I already have that in Marcus, okay?
I don't know who to listen to.

Can you tell me what to do, Mama?
I mean... [exhales deeply] ...Isla.

Okay, is this about what happened
at the end of the game last night?

Marcus missed a shot
he's made a thousand times.

- It happens.
- No, that's not what happened.

Dyson was supposed to get the ball.
Marcus changed the play.

- And Norm is mad?
- Marcus ran sprints all practice.

- Oh, sh*t.
- Marcus does not run sprints.

Yeah, we're at Def Jam 2.

Isla, you got this.
Let me know if you need me.

Do you want some cake?

Uh, I'm gluten-free,
but I'll take some for my snake.

[gentle music playing]

- Oh, hey, Ali.
- Hmm?

Great news. You're headed north.

- Aren't we already north?
- Please, Toronto's the Miami of Canada.

No, there's a... there's a First Nations boy
out of Yellowknife

who's already seven feet tall
in grade five.

Might be a glandular issue. Is he okay?

That's what you're gonna find out
next weekend.

Oh, uh, I actually have...

- Well, I had an event that weekend.
- Yeah? What is it?

[smacks lips] It's Isla's wedding,

but I actually doubt
I'm still invited, so...

I'm sure it won't be her last. Anyway,
get your tire info to my assistant.

- She'll get you fitted for snow chains.
- I'm driving?

[laughs] Can't land a plane
in that weather.

But I can drive?

[Magnus] Just don't brake
on the black ice.

♪ I won't forget about you ♪

♪ I won't forget about you... ♪

Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey, stop.

- Jesus.
- Wow.

You're lean, but really out of shape, huh?

[breathing heavily] I have kids, as*h*le.

I don't have the luxury
of playing grab-a*s at Crunch all day.

Crunch? I have an Equinox Global Pass.

Listen, you may remember

I procured a loan from the team in order
to expedite my release from rehab.

Yeah, and you've missed
the first three payments.

Yeah, and I've heard
all your zesty comments about it too.

Here, consider us paid up.

Where did you get this much money?

From your mom.

Ha, ha. Very funny.
But did you talk to her, though?

- Jesus Christ.
- When did she get back from Mar-a-Lago?

[upbeat music playing]

Marcus, hi.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Fine. Maybe it'll distract me
from my aching knees

after your coach had me running sprints
for the last two hours.

Well, technically he's your coach.

Yeah, but you didn't even come to me
before hiring him.

That's not how
a good organization treats its star.

- Especially when it's Marcus Winfield.
- You're right. I should've talked to you.

But the good news is,

Norm is a great coach.
You just have to get to know him.

The three of us should go to dinner.
Jackie'll set it up with Ray.

All right.

But go through Roy.
Ray's stuck in space on Blue Origin.

Day 46.

- [Isla gasps]
- Say a prayer.

- Okay, well, we're gonna... [gasps]
- [phone splashes]

I could... Nope. I'll get a new phone.

[upbeat music playing]

Hey, have you had a chance
to look at this seating chart?

Oh, yeah.

I sat your cousins next to my aunt
because she's from New York.

Oh, my cousins aren't from New York.

No, I know, but, you know,
they have a lot in common culturally.

I so appreciate you trying
to make my Jewish family feel comfortable.

Okay, how do I look
for my dinner with Marcus and Norm?

- Does this say peacemaker?
- Big time. Very Camp David.

Feels like a political reference.

- I don't get it, but I'll take it.
- Okay, understood.

- How are you feeling about the dinner?
- [scoffs] Like I should've done it sooner.

I mean, I wanna get off to
a good start this season,

and if Marcus and Norm aren't vibing,
I can kiss the ring goodbye.

Well, I am sure that you will bring these
two together over a succulent prime rib.

Or there's also a short rib. There's a...
I checked out the menu online.

I'm so hungry.
This wedding diet is k*lling me.

Honey, if you look better than me
at our wedding, I will Runaway Bride you.

- You have said this several times to me.
- [Isla laughs, kisses]

- Have fun. I'll be here eating ice chips.
- Yeah.

[Spanish music playing]

[sizzling]

[sighs] I'm so excited
for you to try this restaurant.

Everything is amazing.

Oh, no, I ate already.

What? Why?

Because I had a colonoscopy this morning,

and I've been on nothing
but broth and soup prep for 48 hours.

- [Isla sighs deeply]
- Yeah, I just ate a lot.

- The guy at Fatburger just shook his head.
- Okay, it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.

The point of this dinner is for you
and Marcus to get on the same page.

Don't worry. We're going to be on
the same page. Oh, here he comes.

Marcus, thank you so much for coming.

Sorry, I'm late.

I had dinner at home.
My chef does coq au vin Tuesday.

You both had dinner?

I literally preordered
three large format platters.

- I'll take mine to go.
- You know what? Whatever.

You're here now. That's all that matters.

Guys, I'm so happy we're doing this,

so we can clear the air
and have a great season, right?

Oh, we were having a great season
when I was getting the ball.

Yeah, well, it... it's a long season.

Hey, Norm, let's tell Marcus
what a great value he is to the team.

Okay, look, Marcus, I get it.

You've hit some pretty big shots
for your team whenever they needed it.

Exactly.

And you're still the big dog
in the locker room. I know that.

- But this is about championships...
- Oh.

...and when you don't run the play I call,
you kinda screw up my whole g*dd*mn plan.

Oh, you got a plan?

Yeah, that's right.
And you gotta get on board with it.

I knew you were trying to cut me out.
This is on you. I'm out of here.

- Chef Greg made profiteroles.
- [Isla] Marcus!

Norm, what was that?

You're supposed to get him to like you.

I'm sorry. I blew it.
I was trying to do a tough love thing.

I saw a TED Talk about boundaries.
Didn't watch the whole thing.

- Survivor was coming on.
- Okay, well, it didn't work, did it?

And it made him madder than he was
minutes ago, and now I'm mad.

Look, I can fix this.

- How?
- We got the big road trip coming up.

That's when teams bond, okay?
There's no family, no distractions.

I'll pack the travel Scrabble.

Before you know it,
it's all gonna be copacetic.

Which is a hell of a Scrabble word.

- You can just box all that up.
- I don't eat pork, though.

What? There not one thing
of pork on there.

- That's not pork? What is that?
- It's a seafood tower.

Oh, uh-- Oh. Uh, bring it back.

[upbeat music playing]

[announcer 2] The nightmare road trip
comes to an end

as the Waves get blown out in Miami.

[reporter] Marcus, you guys went 0-6
on the road trip.

Why did Coach Stinson leave you
on the bench in the fourth?

You'd have to ask him. I'm not the coach.

I'm just
the franchise's all-time leading scorer.

[reporter] Did you go to the locker room
early to prove a point?

I had a headache.

Okay, I'm gonna say this
as kindly as I know how.

Norm is a f*cking loser.

He sucks.

He's an anchor around our necks.
He's dead weight.

And I want to say "I told you so,"
but I'm a good guy.

The season just started.

I get it. It looks bad,
and you're gonna take a bit of an L.

We... we'll take a bit of an L
if we let him go,

but Jesus, we're f*cking 3-12.

We're supposed to be contenders
for the championship, not the lottery.

Isla, they're right, okay?
I mean, this is bad.

At this rate, we're gonna end up...

Wait a second here.

- Carry the one...
- Okay, he's gonna be a while.

Look, we gotta do this now
so we can salvage the season.

No, I hired Norm for a reason.

I know he can do this.

And if Ali was here,
she'd agree with me too.

[Cam] Well, thank God she's gone.

Look, you're wrong. Just f*cking admit it.
Even Dad would admit when he was wrong.

You know what, Cam? You're right.

[melancholy music playing]

Ha! 62 and 20.

- That... that's actually not that bad.
- No, you did it backwards.

And somehow upside down too.

- [knocking on door]
- Hey, thanks for coming in, Norm.

Yeah, don't worry. I know why I'm here.
I blew it, right? I blew it with Marcus.

Norm.

The guy doesn't respect me,
and we're on a losing streak.

- Norm.
- You gotta fire me.

Norm, stop talking
and let me say something.

- Just sit.
- Okay.

- [Norm sighs]
- Okay, yes.

There are a lot of people
that would like to see you get fired,

but that's not happening today.

Okay.

Do you remember my mom?

Yeah, yeah, proud, beautiful woman.

Didn't need the second facelift,
if you ask me,

but, uh, she and your dad,
they were a great couple.

My dad cheated on her
like 500 million times.

- Yes, he did.
- Yeah.

But despite my dad's mistakes,
he loved my mom

and he did whatever he could
to keep the family together.

And so when my mom started to feel
really neglected,

he'd do whatever he could to make her
feel like she was his number one girl.

And I am talking diamonds,
a convertible, a house in Palm Springs.

Do you see what I'm getting at here?

You want me to buy Marcus a car, Isla?
I mean, I'm underwater on my condo.

No, Norm, Norm, I want you to make Marcus
feel like your number one girl.

Uh...

I get it.

Hmm. Okay.

But whatever happens,
don't tell him about that analogy,

because he'll just fixate on
being the woman.

I get it.

[announcer] Halftime in LA.
Marcus Winfield leads all scorers with 18.

Best we've looked in weeks,
and we're still losing.

Well, at least Norm's
getting Marcus the ball.

Isla, Al Fleischman, aka The Flush Man,
Toilet King of Orange County.

- [all chuckle]
- Yeah. Hey, Al, how are you?

Oh, good, good, good.
Now that I am front row, center court.

[laughs]

Yeah, did Ali do that?

No, Ali was a waste of time.

I think she wanted to hook up with me.
I don't know.

Cam made it happen. He's my boy now.

Ness, Ness, why don't you go get him
some swag?

Yeah. Oh, you know what?

We have a sweatshirt, no sleeves,
covered in sequins. Screams your name.

- Oh my God. [laughs]
- Yeah.

I feel seen, man.

Yes, I see you.

- [crowd cheers]
- [upbeat music playing]

[announcer] Winfield brings it up.

He's having his best game of the season.

[announcer 2] Coach's been calling
his number all night,

and Marcus has been responding.

[referee whistle blows]

Charge!

[announcer] Oh, but he's called
for the charge.

- That's on me?
- Two-two blue.

You gotta be kidding me, ref.
That's terrible.

Going this way.

- [referee] I'm serious, Marcus.
- Call those feet set?

- Give me the ball. I'm not kidding.
- Hell no.

- Give me the ball, or I'm gonna T you up.
- Back off, Marcus.

- Give me the ball!
- Back off, Marcus. Back off.

My man, what the hell was that?

That's not a charge!

You got bird sh*t in your eye?

I get that you're the worst ref
in the league, but seriously.

- How can you make that call?
- [whistle blows]

- That's a tech.
- I don't give a sh*t about a tech.

You can't make that call
on Marcus Winfield.

You're just lucky
you get to watch him play.

Oh, wait, I forgot you're blind.

You put some respect on his name,
you dumb b*stard.

That's it!

- [whistle blows]
- You're out of here.

[Norm] Good 'cause I can't stand
to watch you work.

You dumb as*h*le. Give me that.

[Norm grunts, groans]

Oh, no, no, don't touch.
It's my knee, yeah.

Oh, sh*t, that's the good one too.

- [Norm groans]
- [man] Medic! We need a doc here.

[upbeat music playing]

Hey, man, you knocked over my açai bowl.

Wait. What the hell?

Charlie, what is going on?

- We said no more sh**ting here.
- Let me explain.

Hold on. If you're gonna talk,
we'll need to mic you.

No, no. Do not come near me.

Look, I told the producers
we couldn't sh**t here,

but they loved our drama so much,
they just wanted to get a bit more.

So tell me to kick everybody out
and be mad.

No, I am mad, okay?
And I'm not part of this show.

- All right, we'll boom in.
- Do not... Stop it.

I don't want to be a part of...
Oh, f*ck off!

Come here.

Keep rolling.
We'll count slate it at the end.

Which one of you filmed my butt? Huh?

Oh, sh*t.

Can you excuse us, please?

First, they told us
to go into the living room.

Then they put us in here.

- Where do you want us to set up?
- I don't care.

Anywhere but my bedroom would be great.
Thank you.

Sandy, I know that you're mad, all right?
But we are catching on.

People loved seeing your a*s. Jon Hamm
played it on Watch What Happens.

So your plan was
to have a fight on camera?

Have you gone insane?

This is how we make it.

If this plays out,
we could... we could get our own show.

I was thinking
we could call it Groom Mates.

- It could be about us opening a dog salon.
- I have a job.

And I thought you wanted to be an actor,
not a reality star.

Come on, every actor wants to be
a reality star now, all right.

If this works, we could get on Traitors.

No, I don't...

No, still no.
I would be very good on that show

and I would win,
but that's not what I signed up for.

Well, this is what I want, all right?
And I'm not... I'm not giving it up.

So you would rather be on TV
than be with me?

That... Sandy...

No, look, all I know is I don't want to be
with someone who'd make me choose.

Then I guess we want different things.

[melancholy music playing]

Wow, I guess we do.

So this is it?

[voice breaking] Yeah, I think so.

- Hey, Charlie.
- Yeah?

- They need you.
- Okay.

Goodbye, Sandy.

[exhales]

Hey, man,
there's a baked potato bar at crafty.

[melancholy music fades]

Thank you.

[exhales] Hey, how you doing, Norm?

[groans] I'm in a little pain,
but, uh, I think it's all superficial, so...

No, that ligament is gone, dog.

Look, his shin is just floating in blood
right now.

- It's... it's crazy.
- [Norm] Oh. Son of a b*tch.

Please, tell me that we won, at least.

- By 15.
- [Norm] Good.

I mean, you went psycho out there.

And I know in today's world it's not cool
when a white guy just totally loses it,

but it was awesome.

So I could do that again.
I could... I got rage.

I was born with one testicle.
I hate the world.

Oh, yeah. No, no, no.

It's fine, but Marcus did have
his best game of the season,

and I think it had a lot to do
with your performance.

Well, I just... had to let him know
that he's my best girl.

[sentimental music playing]

Yeah. [laughs]

Yeah, you need your best girl.

Yeah.

[smacks lips] I gotta go.

- Um, rest up, Norm.
- All right.

[doctor] Marcus, hey.

I don't know if you heard,
but my son's Bar Mitzvah is approaching,

and I was hoping you could sign,
like, 300 yarmulkes by Saturday.

Hey, Doc, let me get you real quick.

- I'll just forge 'em. It's fine.
- Oh, we'll... we'll see if he's available.

- You know the ref made the right call?
- Oh yeah. That was a charge big time.

[laughs]

Thanks for having my back out there.

Marcus, look, you're the best player
that I've ever had the honor of coaching,

but I gotta get these young guys ready
for when the playoffs come

so they have your back.

Even Marcus Winfield can't win alone.

Well, it'd be close, but...

I'm with you, Coach.

I'm with you, Marcus. Yeah.

- Hold on, hold on. One favor, please.
- Hmm?

Carry me to the toilet.

- It's right around there.
- Yeah.

Just drop me off
and then come back in 20 minutes.

[upbeat music playing]

[announcer] And that'll do it
from Ally Bank Arena.

LA cruises to an easy win, 104-89.

f*ck that.

- Damn it.
- Why... Why are you mad? They won.

I'm not mad. I'm not even acting mad.
I just...

It's complicated.

[snorts]

- Here.
- Uh, actually, I'm good.

It's my mom's birthday tomorrow,
and I promised I'd take her to brunch.

Oh, come on. It's like a cup of coffee.

[grimaces]

- Come on.
- Okay, okay, okay.

[upbeat music continues]

Ali. Ali!

Where the hell is Ali Lee?

We are looking to diversify
our sponsorships,

and we think your caribou jerky is exactly
the type of jerky we've been missing.

Ali.

Ali.

- [door thuds]
- [Ali gasps] Oh!

Oh! Uh.

Oh my God. Wait, Isla,
what are you doing here? Are you okay?

I... I'm here for you.

Isla Gordon, I know
you're not interrupting a meeting

with two of our most important sponsors.

Ali, I've been a f*cking horrible friend,

and I'm not f*cking leaving here
unless it's with you,

and nothing will make me
f*cking change my mind.

Hey, use your church words.

- Uh, th... they don't really swear in here.
- This is outrageous.

Wayne, Lief, I am so sorry
for this disgusting display.

Oh, shut up, Magnus.

You know, you have a mouth
like a Saskatoon lumberjack.

Ali, I should've treated you better.

Anything I do without you
just feels wrong.

Also, when my brothers say something dumb,
I have no one to roll my eyes with,

and I love you like a sister.

I mean, probably more than a sister,

because if I... if I had one,
she'd be a big b*tch.

[Ali sobs]

I can't believe you came up here,

especially with the weather grounding
all small aircraft. I'm...

[gasps]

Did you fly commercial?

First class,
but they sat me near the bathroom,

and it smelled awful.

Ali, if you come back to LA,

I will kick Cam out of your office,
and you can redecorate it.

I still won't use any of
your shitty high school friends.

Of course not. They all suck.

[both laugh]

I missed you.

[sobs, sighs]

Magnus, I say this
with absolutely zero respect.

I quit. Let's go. Let's get out of here.

You're making a huge mistake
that I... that I won't ever forgive.

Now, someone help pack up Ali's things
and get 'em a car service to the airport.

Oh God, thank you for saving me
from this sh*thole.

I missed you so much.

And I'm not getting married
without my maid of honor.

Oh, that's right. Big week. Your wedding.
Boston's coming into town.

Right.

Boston.

["La Salette" by Star Moles playing]

♪ It’s okay to ride your motorcycle
In the parking lot sunset ♪

♪ If you're cool
Then you won't break a sweat ♪

♪ Those boys and girls
On Manchester Drive you know ♪

♪ I swear they’re from another time ♪

♪ Like 1979 ♪

♪ La Salette ♪

♪ Churchgoers, churchgoers
Come and praise the Christmas lights ♪

♪ All the rednecks and the tourists ♪

♪ All right, all right ♪

♪ Lady of the lake working 9 to 5 ♪

♪ Then it's back to the trailer park ♪

♪ Every night ♪

♪ Every night ♪

[music fades]