01x12 - Valentine

[bunniefuu]

Today may look like

just an ordinary day
for Joe Connolly.

But it's not.

Today is very different.

There's something in the air.

- For today is..!
- Valentine..!

- Joe, what's the date today?
- Valentine's Day.

- Alright, but what's the date?
- Fourteenth.

Joe's last Valentine's Day
had been a huge success.

I found a quid.

- Amazing!
- Amazing! We're rich!

That's exactly one pound.

Like many at O'Malley Secondary
Joe Connolly has high hopes.

But not just hopes.
Joe Connolly has a plan.


Joe, where are you going?

-Nowhere.
- What's that?

Today he's giving his
first ever Valentine's card.

Nothing.

It could be the biggest day
of his life.

- It's absolutely nothing!
- Hmmm.

Lily Scott,
the intended recipient.

Whoa!

Oh, sorry.

The hard part is over.

Now the good part can begin.

Lily will read it
and be so impressed

she'll fall into a coma.

But a very short one.

When she wakes up,
she'll remember the card.

As soon as I woke up
from the coma,

I knew Joe was the one.
All thanks to the card.

This message of love
will transcend w*r and hate.

Earth will be
renamed Planet Love.

When contact is made
with alien life...

They will learn the ways

of Joe Connolly and Lily Scott
and the Valentine's card.

I wonder who
Lily's Valentine's from?

- Lily?
- Oi Lily, who's the card from?

Wow, massive card.

Joe had not considered
that Lily may get another card.

Bet it's from Si Rich.

He hadn't even considered
whether she was single.

- Si Rich?
- Yeah, Si Rich.

I think I heard that.

Si Rich. Can do the worm, kissed


has unparalleled control
of his eyebrows.

He and Lily had once been paired

for an unforgettable performance
of Dracula.

It is I, Dracula.

Oh Dracula, you're so scary
but so charming.

Joe never stood a chance.

Joe is only consoled
he found out

before doing anything stupid.

Yotam is this from you?

Oh em gee! No, I will not
be your Valentine.

Looks like Yotam sent Roxy
a Valentine's card.

What an idiot!

It's just a Valentine's card.

What's wrong with that?

No mate, it's not that.
Yotam signed it.

You never sign
a Valentine's card.

Did you hear about
when Percy Nylon signed his?

It was Valentine's Day.

Percy Nylon was planning on
declaring his love for Malesha.

Percy's best mate Oscar
was like, "Oi Percy

as your best mate
I've gotta tell ya,

you don't write
your name in these things."

Percy said "Thanks Oscar,
but I'm a romantic

and Malesha needs to know
it's from me."

But when Malesha opened the card

it didn't go to plan
and she was all like,

"Percy Nylon no way,
I will not be your Valentine!"

In front of everyone!

Everyone laughed at poor Percy.

Percy was so embarrassed
he immediately denied it.

No, actually I don't.

But Percy had forgotten
he had signed his name.

And that's actually
legally binding

and so they called
the Valentine's police.

- The Valentine's police?
- Yeah, the Valentine's police.

Percy Nylon was
put in Valentine's jail

for signing his name
on his Valentine's card.

Oh no.

Left with no choice,
Joe Connolly

has made
the only sensible decision.

He is running away.

He must leave forever before--

- Ah!!
- Oof!

- Oh, Joe.
- Lily Scott.

- Oh no! Um...
- Are you OK?

Uh, it's a joke!

Ehhh...

What?

The... the...

Emmm... uh...

Joe, what are you talking about?

Er... uh...

It occurs to Joe in this moment

that Lily hasn't
gone to her locker yet.

Uh...

And had yet to find Joe's card.

I was gonna... um... uh...

Joe, is there something
you're trying to tell me?

OK, bye!

Joe!

Your bag.

OK! Bye.

Following the worst conversation
of his life,

Joe had learnt something.
He still has a chance.

Joe has a plan.

And it won't be easy.

- You alright, Joe?
- Fine. Yep, I'm fine, Frisbo.

First he must
make an elaborate excuse

to leave Mr. Gale's class.

Sir, I need a poo.

Errr, yep.

Yep, makes sense.

He must plot his route
to Lily's locker...

..and make his way there
without being spotted.

Phew!

Then the challenging part,
breaking into Lily's locker,

retrieving the card
and saving his--

Oh.

Finally, nothing stands
between Joe and--

What are you doing here?

Ms. Siddiqui.

Frequenting lockers is strictly
forbidden during lessons.

Somehow Joe's plan
had been foiled.

Is this your locker?

Ummm, yes!

See me after school.
Now get back to class!

His fate is sealed. Lily will
see the card that he has signed.

His life is over.

After 12 years and 5 months
of successful containment,

Joe Connolly's feelings
are now everywhere,

completely embarrassing
the whole of

O'Malley Secondary School.

This is all the fault
of Joe Connolly

who foolishly signed
his own Valentine's card.

Joe will have to leave
everyone he loves

in search of a new,
less mortifying life.

Somewhere no one
will know of his shame.

Greetings. I am--

Joe Connolly!

Valentine!

Oh, come on!

Joe can never return to Earth.

He most definitely can never

speak to Lily Scott again.

- No, I'm not going.
- Go on. Just do it.

So... How many marshmallows
can you eat?

How many
marshmallows can you eat?

Shut up!

For now,
Joe contemplates his future.

A future of complete
and utter humiliation.

Don't you have homework to do?

In Joe's hands he holds
a Valentine's card.

The very card he believed
to be from Si Rich.

He has no idea
why it was in his bag.

Then in an instant, it hits him.

- No way!
- Quiet please!

Lily.

- Oh my gosh.
- Shhhh.

- Him...
- Yes!

- Her...
- Yes!

Joe Connolly has
a Valentine's card.

Yes!!