01x05 - Episode 5

[bunniefuu]

[twinkly music]

[soft music]

[Bud smooches]

[Tab claps]
- Ah, yeah!

Oh, yes!

[Mickey groans]

[bed creaking]

[no audio]

[toothbrush frothing]

[Mickey spits]

[Tab sighs]

Was it in or out?

I don't know.

It was behind a sock.

Morning, sweet cheeks.

My mother is literally
the worst person

who ever breathed air
and exhaled sulfur.

[Mickey] You have a mother.

Oh, don't pull that.

She cut me off.

Jesus, what'd you do?

She found my
sugar daddy money.

But where?

In my bank account.

Do you share a bank
account with your mother?

She set it up
when I was seven.

I started with five dollars.

I was so cute.

Maybe you should
get a new one.

They don't just give
out bank accounts.

Yes, they do.

If you have a photo ID.

My mother said
they gave me one

because she was such
a good customer.

She lied to me?

She meant 'cause
you were seven.

You can get one on your
own now, believe me.

At a different bank.

Don't tell your mom about it.

It's too late.

She cut me off for
selling my a*s.

Is that what we're doing?

No?

Don't turn into my mother.

What the f*ck
even are we doing?

This is not why I
came to the States.

Please, f*cking rich
people to get rich yourself

is the foundation of
the American dream.

My tuition is due next Monday,

and I can't ask
daddy for more money,

so I need more daddies.

You're gonna do
double daddies?

I'm gonna have to do
triple daddies, or I'm toast.

Is Gus okay with this?

Gus doesn't own me.

[Tab claps]

Oh, ha!

Goal, yeah!

Yeah!

[Bud sighs]

[Mickey] What you making here?

Well, why don't you

find out for yourself?

That's not bad.

Not bad?

Not bad.

Not bad.

[no audio]

[no audio]

[Mickey crunching]

[Mickey shivers]

[no audio]

[buttons snap]

[Mickey sighs]

[no audio]

[Mickey sighs]

[Costas smooching]

[Mickey panting]

[Mickey panting]

Holy sh*t.

[Costas sighs]

You're a good cook.

I guess that makes sense,

owning three restaurants.

Oh, you're delicious
all on your own.

You don't need my help.

Something tells me
you've done that before.

Maybe.

Are there other mes?

There's no one like you.

You know what I mean.

Why are you asking?

Well, I got this friend,

and he's in relationships
with multiple people.

A friend?

No, yeah, a friend.

Not me.

I'm not seeing anyone else.

There's no room in my life
for anyone else at the moment.

That's the whole point
of the arrangement.

But you, your libido is
like a freight train.

You must see other people.

Must I?

- Mm.
- Mm.

When I kiss your lips,

I wanna taste c*ck.

When I suck your d*ck,
I wanna taste p*ssy.

That's the way it should be.

You wouldn't be jealous?

[Costas chuckles]
- No.

There's no jealousy between us.

That's the whole point
of the arrangement.

No complications, no
jealousy, no love.

[lips smack]

[jazzy music]

I was surprised to
hear from you, actually.

Oh?

Mm, you'd be surprised

how many boys on that
website are actually g*y.

Really?

Especially the ones that
are, well-groomed, fit,

and can actually carry
on a conversation.

Your profile intrigued me.

I like to cut
through the bull.

A sexual frankness
is important to me.

I like a woman who
knows what she wants.

Oh.

And how much she's
willing to pay for it.

Well, I'd give you, mm,

1,000 a week, but!

You'd be at my beck and call.

I do have school.

I imagine you also like
a man with ambition.

That depends entirely
on the ambition.

To misguided ambitions.

Room 1201.

Give me 10 minutes?

[Bud shudders]

[silence]

[door clicks]

Drink?

[Bud gulping]

[glass clinks]

[both panting]

Yeah.

[Ella moaning]

[Ella giggling]

Mm, yeah.

Oh!

[both moaning]
[lips smacking]

I'm sorry.

I thought I could do it.

It's not you.

You're hot as f*ck.

Girl, I wanna have half
your ba*ls when I grow up.

It's just,

I'm as g*y as Britney Spears

dressing a Cher doll
in a rainbow tutu.

Then why waste
my time, and yours?

I hit a bit of a
cash flow crisis.

Well, let's not belabor it.

You're excused.

[pants rustling]

I'm sorry it didn't work out.

Don't worry about it.

You have to aim too high
every once in a while

to learn your potential.

You said $1,000?

You couldn't get it up.

Well, we did say the payment
was for my time, not for sex.

We say that in case the
record comes up later in court.

Why?

Because there's someone
who'd take you to court

if they knew about your
taste for tender beef?

Someone you'd like
me not to talk to?

How much would you
pay for my silence?

3,000, but that would
be to have you k*lled.

Oh my god, I love you.

You're still horny, right?

I did manage to
get you turned on.

I have what you need.

Clearly not.

He's looking for a sugar mama.

Sweet as maple syrup.

Not the sharpest
knife in the drawer,

but weirdly obedient
and gorgeous.

I'd test drive that model.

Stop what you're doing,
and come to the Bel-Air Hotel

now, now, now.

[no audio]

[door clicks]

High school graduate,
works out six days a week,

and runs on the seventh.

His most discernible
talent is, in fact,

pleasing women sexually.

Hey.

Hi, Tab.

Take off your
shirt so Ella can see

how hard you work in the gym.

[Ella sighs]

See?

Very obedient.

And is this something
you've been looking for, Tab?

A sugar mama, so to speak?

Yeah.

And you find me
attractive, sexually?

Like, enough to
want to have sex?

Hell yeah.

Well.

Why don't you come here and
let me feel your muscles?

[Ella moans]
[Tab smooching]

[Ella moans]

Oh my god, oh.

[Ella moaning]

[lips smacking]

Okay.

I guess you'll
take it from here?

Stay and watch, and
I'll give you that 1,000.

You smell good.

Oh, you are good.

[both moan]

[Bud knocking]

[Clark] Hey,
what are you up to?

I'm horny as hell.

[door slams]

And I know I can
get it up for you.

Wow, is that from the sonnets?

You drive me wild.

I think about you every day.

Sometimes, I think about you

when I'm having sex
with other people.

You're gorgeous, and funny,

and you're a better
dancer than me.

Every day?

Every day you think of me?

Don't get a big head.

I also think of Martha
Stewart, and Oprah,

and the Elephant Man.

That's pretty good
company to keep,

in your head.

All right.

I've said too much.

No, no, no, come here.

I think about you
every day, too.

[both moaning]
[lips smacking]

[Clark chuckles]

[Bud sighs]

[both moaning]

[door creaks]

[no audio]

It's just, I wasn't
ready for I love yous.

That's a big step for me.

I was just telling
you how I felt.

I know.

And, now I'm glad.

I needed to like,

not see you for a little while

to realize how much
I would miss you.

And how much was that?

I'm here, aren't I?

Tail between my legs,
asking your forgiveness?

I don't wanna run
from your love.

I just didn't expect that
everything would change

just because I said three words.

Nothing has changed.

I just needed a hot
minute to get my bearings,

and decide how I feel.

And?

How do you feel?

I

feel like you do.

Okay, you're not gonna run
away on me again are you,

without any explanation?

'Cause that didn't
feel good, Bud.

If you forgive me,

I'll consider myself
too lucky to run away.

Will you take me back?

Yeah, I will.

Will it be the same allowance?

[both chuckle]

[Early groans]

I don't really
wear stuff like this.

If you want to accompany me

to the restaurants and
clubs that I go to,

you're gonna need
proper shoes and suits.

You do want me to take
you to nice places?

Yeah.

Yeah, his thighs are
too muscular for it.

Bring the slacks up two
sizes, bring in the waist.

That will give him room in
the rear and in the thighs.

Same with the jacket,
sized to fit the shoulders

and the biceps,
bring in the waist.

Let's take it up 1/8 of an inch,

clean up around the ears,

but leave it long on the top

to give us something
to comb back.

[Tab moaning]

What kind of a watch
do you wear, Tab?

You don't have one at home?

Mm-mm.

Well, then how do you
know when to come and go?

I use my phone.

Oh, Tab.

You never take out
your phone on a date,

or in an interview.

No?

No.

You pay attention to
the person you're with.

Mm-hmm.

We'll get you a watch.

We are going to make a
proper man of you yet.

Okay.

Yeah.

[Ella laughs]

[Early grunting]
[Bud moaning]

- Did you c*m?
- No!

Spasm, my back.

What do I do?

Go to the bathroom.

Get some muscle relaxants.

Bring me a couple.

[pill bottles clattering]

[Early groaning]

Bring, bring the whole bottle.

[pill bottles clattering]

They're all muscle relaxants.

I gotta get going now.

You got another date?

Yeah, with about
200 hamburgers.

It's my shift at the diner.

[Costas] You're still
working the other job

with the allowance I give you?

It seemed like a
safe bet, you know?

In case you dumped me.

You're a smart man.

But, I'm not gonna dump you.

I like you too much.

Still my shift, so.

How much are they paying you?

I'll double it.

Get back in bed.

[atmospheric music]

They finally left.

Yeah, you'd think people would
understand the significance

of every chair around them
being put upside down.

Some people just lose
their sense of symbolism

after five drinks.

[Mickey chuckles]

Here.

[Sarah] What's this?

You've just been
so great, you know.

Pooling the tips,
listening to my problems.

You know I like you, right?

I like you, too.

[both panting]

I locked the front door.

Well, my shirt's already off.

That doesn't seem very fair.

[Sarah laughs]

[both moaning]
[lips smacking]

Here, wait one sec.

[Sarah giggles]

[Sarah sighs]

[Sarah laughs]

Okay.

[Sarah laughs]

[lips smacking]

[Sarah laughs]

♪ Give me one kiss goodbye

♪ Don't try to make me
stay for a while now ♪

♪ Ooh