01x06 - Episode 6

[bunniefuu]

[twinkly music]

[people chatting]

Oh, just excuse
me, just one second.

Don't eat all the desserts, Tab.

They're for everyone.

I'm sorry.

[Ella sighs]

But the travel is
too time-consuming now.

They need more European hubs.

Like there's this
one girl, Frankie Q,

she was dating M.C. Gluteus,

she was at the airport,
and the scanner just showed

her bag was just sex toys,
and handcuffs, and stuff.

[Tab laughing]

It was really funny.

Well, I just hope
I have seen the last

of Frankfurt International
Airport this year,

unless I'm actually going
to Frankfurt. [laughing]

How did you get the car when
I have the valet ticket?

I had the extra keys.

Get in.

[Tab exhales]

You don't have to
get the car yourself.

They have parking attendants.

But I had the keys.

I still had to get
the other set of keys

back from the valet.

It's just, sometimes
it's better to do nothing

than to try and be helpful
when you don't know

what you're doing.

All I did was get the car.

Okay, well next time, don't.

Just follow the rules
like everyone else.

You're not special.

I'm not special?

I'm not special.

Everyone says I'm special.

I bet.

f*ck this.

Pull over.

Oh, don't be dramatic.

[Tab scoffs]

You know, you're hot,

but no one's hot
enough for this sh*t.

Really?

Fine.

[engine revs]

[Tab] You could have
at least given me a ride!

[tires screech]

[knocking on door]

[door opening]

[both breathing heavily]

[door closes]

That is a great suit.

I hate it.

[Benny chuckles]

[Tab exhaling]

[Benny chuckling]

Oof, well, it looks
better off than on.

Yeah.

Oh my god.

Whoa!

[Tab gasps]

Morning. [chuckles]

Morning.

How you feeling?

Good.

[Benny] No remorse?

What's remorse?

Regrets?

Wish you could take it back?

I f*cking loved it.

I f*cking loved it!

I wanna do it again.

And again, and again!
[Benny yelps]

And again!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- And again!
- Ow!

Jesus!
- [laughing] And again!

And again!

[Benny sighs]

[door opening]

[water splashing]

Hey.

Can I ask what's
brought all this on?

All this lovin's?

[Benny] Yeah.

You really like me.

Yeah.

And you're so good.

You're always so good to me.

I just wanna be good to you.

I'm really happy
when I'm around you.

[Benny] I'm happy
around you, too.

[Benny chuckles]

[blowing bubbles]
[both laughing]

[bottles clinking]

What's going on?

You're cleaning?

We haven't had
a party in weeks.

We're having a blowout tonight.

A we all have money again party.

Is that not how we got
broke in the first place?

Student loans are finite.

Sugar daddies give and give.

My sugar is replenished,

and I have two.

You pay your tuition yet?

On Monday, I'll have
enough for tuition.

All right well.

I'll invite some kids from work.

Text Tab to put the word out.

Most of our fake friends
are his Instagram followers.

Cool.

[sighs] Why do we always
wait for the day of a party

to clean up from our last party?

We don't want people
to think we're slobs.

Right.

[Costas grunting]

[chuckles]

Thank you.

How'd my d*ck taste?

Delicately spiced with a
tonic of salt and old vinegar.

Not like p*ssy?

You had sex with
a girl. [laughing]

I showered, but I
tried to keep my d*ck dry

so you'd taste it.

Gonna see her again?

I mean, I work with her.

Mickey.

sh1tting where you
eat. [laughing]

Oh.

Come here.

I want you to have your fun.

And I'm hoping that you'll keep
wanting to come back to me.

But if the time comes
that that changes,

just be honest.

And I'll be able to stay
in school another term,

thanks to you.

That's great.

Have you thought about where
you'd like to go on holiday?

Do you like
beaches, or culture?

I could do museums
for half a day.

Hmm.

I think I'm more of a beach.

Actually, pool.

And a bar.

And where they have
the bar in the pool,

and you just float up
and get another drink-

Hi.

[Gus] Early.

Gus.

Early is a longtime customer
at the hardware store.

Oh.

How did the tiles match?

People that can't tell
the difference love them.

That's great.

[Early] Mm-hmm.

Bud is my nephew.

Yeah, he's my nephew, too.

Really?

No, not really.

So, you guys know each other?

That's great.

You gotta be kidding me.

We never said we
were monogamous.

How many sugar
daddies do you have?

A semester's tuition worth.

Oh, so you're
basically a hooker?

I don't self-identify
as a sex worker.

Well I don't self-identify
as a mark for a con artist.

What's the con?

You get what you pay for.

And you're a hooker.

sh*t.

Hi.

Enjoy.

[laughs nervously]

[pool ball clinks]

Nice car.

Who's the fella?

I, uh, bumped into
an old teacher of mine.

[Sarah laugh]

Great guy.

He gave me a lift.

Is he?

Yeah, you know, I ran into Tab
with his old school teacher

the other day.

What are you boys up to?

Well.

I mean, a guy's
gotta make ends meet.

Okay.

Is that really the best
metaphor for this moment?

It's okay.

You're not the first
guy I crushed on

who turned out to be g*y.

No, I'm, I'm not g*y.

Well, are you straight?

Is anyone straight anymore?

I am.

Like, 80, 90% of the time.

Okay, see?

I just, I just
haven't done the math.

No.

Don't like, don't.

I really like you.

Just, give me
some space, okay?

[Mickey sighs]

I'm sorry.

I'll give Terry my two weeks.

Oh my god, no, Mickey.

Look, you don't have to quit.

Okay?

I'm not that mad.

I was really only
holding onto the job

so I could see you.

Bud's having a party
at our place later.

You can, uh, come by if you
still want to be friends.

You okay, man?

The best laid
plans, my friend.

Ooh.

Who do you have plans to lay?

Benny!

[people chuckling]

He invited his sugar daddy?

Ooh, that cuts deep.

- Hey.
- Hi.

I'm really sorry.

I should have been
more up front with you.

Yeah.

But I get it, so.

Oh.

Um.

I'm not mad anymore.

It's fine.

There's a guy outside.

He's waiting for you.

He said he won't come in.

What?

[Sarah] He's waiting for you.

Thank you.

[cars passing]

[footsteps clomping]

Hi.

Hi.

Uh, I guess, uh, we
both had enough time

to think about what's
really important?

Yeah.

I don't want you to have to be

with anybody else anymore.

I will take care of you, fully.

My heart, my life,
everything mine is yours.

Will you marry me?

No prenup?

No prenup.

Yes!

[smooching]

[sighs happily]

Wanna come in?

No, no.

It's been a long time since
I've been at a kegger.

You have fun.

I'll see you later,
back at my place.

I mean, our place.

- Okay.
- Okay.

[footsteps clomping]

[Early sighs happily]

[bubble g*n whirring]

Whoa, nice ring.

It's a diamond.

Engagement ring.

I had no idea.

Thank you.

Does he know you
troll on Grindr?

I don't troll Grindr.

I sail along it.

You never mentioned
a boyfriend.

It's newish.

Little impulsive, but he
didn't ask for a prenup,

so I couldn't say no.

You know it's better
to find out who you are

at someone else's expense
than to find out the hard way.

What was that about?

Oh, he's all heartbroken
because I'm not marrying him.

[both chuckling]

If I wanted to marry a
dirt poor dance student,

I'd marry myself.

Clark?

Poor?

His father owns the pharmacy.

What pharmacy?

Like, all of them.

He's a trust fund kid.

He's gonna inherit,
like, $10 million.

[Bud moans softly]

[Sarah laughing]

[bubble g*n whirring]

Clark!

Why didn't you tell
me you were rich?

Why would I?

[Bud] Well, why would
you tell me you were poor?

I didn't.

You told me you had a sugar
daddy who pays for your condo

and gives you a $3000
month allowance.

You were my inspiration
for getting a sugar daddy

in the first place.

I admired your, your grit.

Your mercenary cool.

For two months, I have
been trying to be like you.

I said my daddy
paid for my condo.

I didn't say sugar daddy.

What?

Your daddy is your actual daddy?

Of course.

What do you take me for?

I could have had a rich
boyfriend all this time?

Yeah, I guess so.

Or maybe I would have found out

what a shallow gold digger
you are all on my own

without you having to
tell me to my face.

I think you might have
misinterpreted that.

I think I know
what a prenup's for.

And unless you're working
down in the mines,

I know what a gold
digger is, too.

No, I, I really like you.

You obviously don't.

Which is a shame.

Because I really,
really liked you.

You know what?

You don't know what it's like.

To be strapped.

To not know how
you're gonna pay rent,

or choose between going to a
movie and eating breakfast.

No, I don't.

But I also don't
know what it's like

to be with someone that
you don't even care about.

You're on Grindr!

I only went on
Grindr to talk to you.

You did?

I didn't have your number,

and I knew you'd be on there.

You became a hookup
sl*t just for me?

Can we try this again?

No.

My daddy warned me
about girls like you.

I'm gonna hold out for
someone who wants me

where I have money or not.

See you in modern.

[distant sirens wailing]

[cars passing]

[footsteps clomping]

[cars passing]

[Bud sniffling]

Have they replaced
Mickey at the diner yet?

Not yet.

Oh.

[Bud sniffling]

[leather squeaks]

Morning.

Morning, Eloise.

Bathroom's over there.

Morning.

[door closing]

Morning.

[dishes clinking]

Americano?

Sure.

Do you want some eggs?

[pan clinks]

[Benny sighs]

Morning, baby.

So.

What's everyone up to today?

[bubble g*n whirring]

Think I'm gonna
call my sister.

Nice.

Some kind of
country club thing.

How about you?

[Tab sighs]

Maybe we can clean
this place up a bit.

I can send over
my cleaning service.

Maybe we can go shopping.

Shopping?

Yup.

[upbeat pop music]

Bye, h*.

It's off to work we go.

[bubble g*n whirring]

♪ I see you coming
from a hundred miles ♪

♪ Got a shattered window,
got a stained glass heart ♪

[people chatting]

♪ You can feel my body
when she holds you tight ♪

♪ You don't have
to worry, baby ♪

♪ I'll be fine

♪ Ooh

♪ I keep our memories
locked inside ♪

♪ Ooh

♪ You'll need them more than I

♪ So give me one kiss goodbye

♪ Don't try to make
me stay for a while ♪

♪ Give me one kiss goodbye

♪ Shouldn't lie,
won't come back ♪

♪ Just give me
one kiss goodbye ♪

[upbeat pop music continues]

♪ Ooh

I was gonna ask you if
you could buy me something.

Hmm, what do you need?

Plane ticket back to Canada.

♪ Ooh

♪ Give me one kiss goodbye

♪ Don't try to make
me stay for a while ♪

♪ Ooh