02x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

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♪ Be as one

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♪ Life's too short

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[footsteps thudding]

- Morning.
- Morning.

- Do you want
pancakes? Donuts, Tab?

Mm, can I have some cereal?

Uh,

sure.

[drawer clattering]

[drink splashing]

[Tab slurping]

[items thudding]

Do you have regular milk?

Sorry, just almond milk.

- Good morning,
Dodie, Liam. Tab.

Pancakes?

Yeah, can I help, or?

There's jam in the fridge.

- How'd they get the cows
to eat all these almonds?

[footsteps thudding]

Out together all night.

What don't I know?

- Tab came on a date
with my throuple.

Ooh.

I'm not sure I approve.

Yeah, well give it a day.

Dodie might be
looking for a fifth.

- I'm looking for
something more meaningful.

I don't wanna be the
caboose in your fiv-ouple.

Quintuple.

Whatever, Harvard.

[feet thud]

You gotta find me a date.

What about the throuple?

They have weird milk.

What about the podophile?

The guy who sniffs your feet?

Oh.

Yeah, he's perfect, but he
hasn't gotten back to me.

My feet must'a smelled bad.

- That's probably
not the problem.

- I want someone
who takes me out

and buys me stuff

and gives me money
and is super nice.

- Someone with very low
self-esteem who'll take you out

at least six times
before asking for sex?

Yes.

Someone with infinite patience

who inexplicably
likes you for you?

Yeah.

Like Benny.

- Like Benny before he
fell in love with me.

- I think I know the answer
to both our problems.

Unhappily married men.

My dad's unhappily married.

- One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, turn,

six, seven, eight, chasse,

four, five, six,
seven, eight, ha!

Okay, good.

See you Friday.

Hey, you wanna grab lunch?

- Perfect. I'll
just grab my coat.

Graham!

Great.

So is this like your
favorite place or something?

- You know he doesn't pay
when he eats here, right?

- What time does
your shift start?



I'm on my break.

Nah, no problem.

I'll just go to all your
tables, take all their orders,

bring all their food,

and then you can bring
the bill at the end

and take all the tips.

- Thank you, sweetie.
- Mm.

You work here now?

- I got Mickey's job after he
decided to sh*t where he eats.

- I can't really tell the
difference with this food.

With her?

- Then she found out
he had a sugar daddy

and she was extremely
judgemental.

Was she?

What about you, Colton?

Do you work?

No.

I'm just a student.

Oh, right.

You're engaged to
my sugar daddy.

The one I broke up with
'cause I was in love with you.

Excuse me, I have to
go work for a living

before my f*g hag strangles me.

[chair scrapes]

[Clark sighs]

[glasses clink]

What do you need?

You love me?

What?

You love me?

What are you going on about?

You said you loved me.

No I didn't.

Yes you did.

I think I would know.

[Clark scoffs]

- 10 minutes ago at that
table you said you loved me.

- You just must have
been hallucinating.

What?

- You really don't
think you said it?

Why would I say that?

I don't know.

Maybe your subconscious
was doing the talking.

Oh, God.

No, no.

No, it's good.

Maybe if you don't
remember saying it,

then there's a chance that
you actually meant it.

Instead of bullshitting,

as usual.

[knife scraping]

[knife scraping]

[fan whirring]

[Bud slurps]

[fan whirring]

[knife scrapes]

[knife thuds]

[footsteps thudding]

Hey, um,

do you think you can cover
my shift on Sunday morning?

Oh.

Sunday morning is when
I'm just falling asleep

after Saturday night.

[Sarah sighs]
Why don't you ask Mickey?

Mickey quit.

- Mickey's circumstances
have changed.

He could use the money.

- Well, maybe I don't
wanna work with Mickey.

Which is perfect,

because if he's covering your
shift, you won't be here.

[footsteps thudding]

[straws rustling]

[footsteps creaking]

[no audio]

[footsteps shuffling]

[kiss smacking]

[kiss smacking]

[straws thud]

[kiss smacking]

[no audio]

Oh.

We're trimming each
other's butt holes.

You want in?

No, I'm good.

[footsteps thudding]

[no audio]

[Tab] Ow!

[shoes thud]

[Tab humming and vocalizing]

[liquid splashing]

You look nice.

I'm gonna go meet Dodie.

With Liam?

Ah, just Dodie, I think.

Huh?

You stealing my throuple?

You invited me.

It's not my fault if I
[snaps] got the moves.

- You're saying you're
better at f*cking than I am?

That's why you gotta practice.

Ah.

Well, your discipline
is really impressive.

You want to be first string?

Yeah, you should go pro.

I'm in the Bush Leagues, baby!

You're in a bush, all right.

I'm huntin' bush meat.

- You don't know
what that means.

No, I don't.

- Well, if Dodie wants to hang
out with you, that's fine.

She's a big girl.

- Look, I know this
may have hurt your ego.

Well.

[hands thud]

If you ever want to practice
sex, you just let me know.

Mm.

[cup thuds]

[Mickey sighs]

Where's Liam tonight?

Business trip.

He says hi.

Hi.

Can I get you another drink?

I'm good.

Mickey was a little jealous
I was meeting up with you.

- You told him?
- Didn't know it was a secret.

It's not.

I'm just better at sex.

[Dodie chuckles]

He knows.

- Well, I do like that
thing that you do.

What thing?

You know, it's like a...

That construction thing.

Jackhammer!

- Oh!
[Dodie laughs]

Yeah, that thing.

I just wanna have a good time.

- You're a real
horn dog, ain't you?

Am I? [laughs]

How many on your k*ll list?

- How many people
have I had sex with?

[Dodie] Yeah.

[Tab whispers]

I'm not good at counting.

Well, it came to light that

there is something of an
imbalance in my marriage.

Liam, he's had sex
with 120 girls.

[Tab scoffs]

And I've had sex with six guys.

Seven, including you.

So you want to catch up?

No, I really don't.

But Liam, he's sorta
stuck in his ways,

and he's a little
controlling, you know?

Like he's been everywhere
and done everything

and now he's settled down

and I'm supposed to just
be settled with him.

Maybe I got married too young.

But he takes me for granted
and I'm not having it.

Hmm.

So you want to use Mickey and me

to make your husband jealous?

Maybe I do.

That's really cool.

[Dodie laughs]

It's really k*lling him.

I can see it in his eyes.

He dies a little bit inside

every time he watches
you make me c*m.

Man, I have the best job.

[door creaks]

[door clicks]

[Liam sighs]

[lid pops]

[jar thuds]

Dodie?

Oh, sh*t.

What?

That's Liam.

So?

We only play together.

Play what?

We're cheating on him.

We are?

[footsteps thudding]

He's gonna be mad.

The f*ck?

You f*cked my wife?

You paid me to!

That was last week!

[Tab shouts]

[bed squeaking]

[Tab shouts]

No, no!

[Liam snarls]
No!

[Liam snarling]
No!

[kicks thudding]
[Tab shouting]

[Tab whimpering]

Wow.

I guess Liam didn't
really appreciate

you cheating on
him with his wife.

I didn't know I was cheating.

What was your first clue?

His knuckles in my face.

- This is the perfect
opportunity for extortion.


and report an as*ault.

He punched the guy

who was banging his
wife behind his back.

I feel like that's gotta
be a legal loophole.

I'll tell you one thing.

What?

- This is gonna
be my last fourgy.

[dishes rustling]

[coins clanking]

- Don't you have
any straight friends

you can set me up with?

- All my friends
are too interesting

for such a judgmental girl.

[Sarah scoffs]

[coins clinking]

Thank you.

[coins clinking]

[no audio]

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Stop ruining my plates.

[no audio]

[Bud panting and moaning]

[Bud panting and moaning]

[lighter clicks]

What are you doing back here?

- If you're gonna f*ck
me, I want a raise.

Not my restaurant.

I work there like you.

You own shares.

I heard.

- And you want me to
sign over my shares

so I can screw
you in the pantry?

- I should get
something out of it.

You got my d*ck out of it.

I already gave you the tip.

You don't like it,

don't do it.

[Bud exhales]

[car door clicks]

[patrons chatting]

How's your friend?

- Looks like he
got hit by a truck.

Well, I took it easy on him.

Yeah.

You're not cool, buddy.

That guy banged my wife.

Without permission.

- They technically
cheated on me too,

and I'm not busting up
people's faces over it.

- Maybe I took care
of 'em for both of us.

- Dude, how f*cking
gullible are you?

What?

- Look, I don't know what's
going on with you and your wife,

but she's obviously
using me and my friend

to make you jealous.

You gotta figure
sh*t like that out

before you drag
other people into it.

[Liam sighs]

Thanks for coming out.

And,

[money thuds]

that's for the airhead.

[glass thuds]

[kiss smacks]
[hand slaps]

Night, Daddy.

[footsteps thudding]

[upbeat music]

♪ So giving me
one kiss goodbye ♪

♪ Don't try to make
me stay for a while ♪

♪ Giving me one kiss goodbye

♪ Shouldn't bye, welcome back

♪ Just give me
one kiss goodbye ♪

[upbeat music]

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♪ Ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Give me one kiss goodbye

♪ Don't try to make
me stay for a ♪