02x07 - Episode 7

[bunniefuu]

- I guess it's...

too soon for break-up sex.

- WHISPERS: I'm sorry.

I just...

I think it's best.

- WHISPERS: Not for me.

- I really do think it is best.

For you,

and for me,

for Simon.

[RUSHING]

- Yeah. I strongly disagree
on all counts.

[DELICATE SYNTH MUSIC]

[SIGHS]

- Sorry.

[DELICATE SYNTH MUSIC CONTINUES]

- Oh.

- Yeah.
- Well, it was nice
meeting you, and...

- And on that note, I doff my hat...

- [CHUCKLES]
- ...to you, fair maiden.

I bid you adieu.

Have fun being straight.

[CHUCKLES WRYLY]

Did I leave...

my heart here?

Know anyone that might be able to...
pick it back up, put it back
in the hole? [LAUGHS]

I mean to go this way anyway, so...

[DELICATE SYNTH MUSIC SWELLS]

- SOFTLY: sh*t.

[SYNTH MUSIC CRESCENDOES]

- I just don't know what we're
gonna talk about any more, you know?

- Yeah, that's why I broke it off.
No more secrets.

- So you are gonna tell Simon?
- No, I'm not gonna tell Simon.

I mean, I'm not going to do anything
that requires keeping secrets.

- Oh.

So no more new secrets.

[THUD!]
- Can you please stop doing that?

And, yeah, I— I really think
the best thing is that we both
just forget it ever happened,

and then live in denial
in our delusional, guilt-free lives.

- Sure. Yeah.

It works for murderers.

- I'm just saying —
I really like Nat.

- Lily, this isn't helping.
- Yeah, but I'm saying
if I had to choose—

- But you don't have to choose.
And in fact, I really don't
want you to choose.

- Well, it would be Nat.

I mean, when are you ever gonna find
a genuine connection like that,
with chemistry,

at a fitness class —
not even through Tinder?

It is a miracle.

I saw her moving in — everything.
- Lily.

Nat is no longer going to be
coming around to our house. Period.

But me and Simon, we are...

- What?

- We're good.
And in fact, we're really happy.

So maybe you could think about
choosing that for me.

[MUFFLED POP MUSIC PLAYS]

- And the cool thing is, I only have
to service 30% of the mortgage,

and Mum and Dad just do
the other 70%.

- Wow. Yeah. Everyone's gonna think
you've embezzled money, or got
a sugar daddy or something.

[LAUGHS]
- Ha. Yeah, I wish —

but the truth is,
the reason we got it for so cheap

is we were the only ones
that could handle that somebody
had died here recently.

- R-Recently?
- Yeah. Really recently.

Right where you're standing,
actually. Mm.

[PHONE KEYS CLICK]

['MESSAGE SENT' ALERT]

[PHONE CHIMES]

- [SIGHS]

Hiiii!
- You're a sly one.

- Huh? What do you mean?
- I just figured you and Simon
would be moving in together.

- [INHALES] Oh!

Oh no. Oh. Pfft.

Absolutely not.
- Huh?
- No, no, we're-we're— we're—

we're not really in that zone yet,
you know, as a couple.
- No.

- I mean, he's allowed to come over,
obviously, whenever he likes —

he's just not allowed on
any of the furniture. [LAUGHS]

- Well, I bet he's secretly sulking.
You know how men are.

- You know? I had no idea
Hamish was that serious about me,
and then... Hello.

- Oh wow! Oh my God!
- I know! Isn't it good?
- Wow.

- Thank you. Thank you.
- Cool.

- I mean, we did have to go back
and swap the rings, cos his taste was
a little too steampunk for my liking.

- Wow, it's— it's so beautiful.
Congratulations, Meredith.
- Thank you.

I know it's a bit sooner
than expected.

I mean, it's not like being married
is a death sentence or anything.
[CHUCKLES]

- Ah, I don't— I don't know,
it depends who you end up with,
I reckon.

Like, wrong person could be death.

- Hey, where's, um— where's Hamish?
Is he coming tonight?

- Yeah, uh— he's with... Simon.

- Oh— oh no, Simon's, um—
coming straight from work, so...

- Work drinks, more like it.
You know how those boys are.

They're probably, like,
sloshed already. God love them.

[ALL LAUGH]

- CHUCKLES: Yeah.

[LAUGHS, SIGHS]

Are you high?

This is a house-warming party,
not Rhythm and Vines.

- SLURS: Hey, my boss offered.
Go on, I'm new, you know.

I-I couldn't not take it...
cos it'd be rude.

- Yeah, or maybe it was a test?
Maybe he was seeing if his
new employee was a drug user

and therefore a liability
to the firm. Did you think of that?
- Aw, come on, Stephie.

Don't be like that.
- Don't call me Stephie.

And who are all these strange men
that you have brought to my party?

- Oh, f*ck— It's a party, Stephie—
- It's my party. It is my party.

And there were invitations,
and a really strict RSVP process,

and it's just, like, ruining
the ratio of men and women.

- Mm...
- You smell like a sports bar.

OK?
- OK— Hey. I'm sorry.

I am sorry, OK? What can I do
to make it up to you?

- I just wish you'd been honest...

with me.

- Mm.

[POUNDING MUSIC, WHOOPING]

- [SIGHS] Hey. [SNIFFS]

- I know we're supposed to be mad
at Simon, but he has honestly
turned this party around.

He's, like, saved
our asses, you know?
- I know.

He's so affable. It's so annoying.
- [LAUGHS]

- God, yeah. He's like
a human golden retriever.
- He really is.

Meredith just asked me
when we're going to have kids.

Like, what the f*ck is her problem?
- [SCOFFS]

- She can't imagine that anyone else
would have different priorities
from her, like—

- Nat.
- OK. Oh— Oh my God, Lily, please,
can we just stop?

Can we just stop?
- No, no, no. No.
No, Nat, she's here.

- What the f*ck?
- Yeah, she's chill. Yeah.
Your parents still together?

- WHISPERS: f*ck.
NAT: Yeah. Yeah.
- Oh, that's great!

- Outside. Outside.
Outside. Outside!
- OK. OK. OK.

- After— Oh my God.
Sorry. Excuse us.

[GASPS] Oh my God,
oh my God, oh my God.

This is it. This is just—
This is a disaster for you!

Oh! Oh...
- Can you just, like,
calm down for a second

to give me, like, a chance to panic
a little bit for myself about this?

- I thought
you broke it off with her.
- I did. I did, I did!

I broke it off with her.
- Right. So why did you invite her?

- No, I know I didn't. I didn't.
I didn't invite her—

Like, I-I mean, like, I—
[SIGHS] I mean, I guess I, like...

well, I talked about the party
in front of her, but, like,
I didn't think that she would...

come, you know, to—
to a party where my boyfriend is.

- It's kinda hot.
- No, tha— No, no. No, it's not.

That's— That's not what it is.
Like, this isn't one of your,
like, horny stories

that you like to read when you—
- Excuse me, it's sex-positive
feminist fanfic.

- Basically porn, but, you know,
I'm— I'm happy for you, but that's—

that's not what this is,
because this is a nightmare.

This is a nightmare that is
happening in my house right...

- Nat.
- Nat?

- Nat.
- Like Natalie?
- Oh. She's talking to Simon.

- [GASPS]
- She's actually talking
to Simon with, like, her—

her real actual talking voice.
Right— Right at this moment —
that's what's happening.

- Right. OK.
Here, look, tell you what — I'm just
gonna go and ask her to leave.

- Yeah. You ask— You ask her
to leave. You ask her. Yeah.
- I've always wanted to do that.

OK.
- You tell her to leave.
- Right.

- Wait— No, no, don't—
don't ask her to go.

Don't— Don't do that. Um— because
I can— I can do it, actually.

I'm gonna do it.

- No, like, I was playing
at a professional level.

I could have made
a full-blown career out of it.

- Hmm. I didn't realise
that Frisbee throwing was
a professional sport in New Zealand.

- Oh no, it's Ultimate.
- Sorry?

- Ultimate. That's what we call it.
Ultimate. Ultimate Frisbee.

- Wow.
- Yeah.
- Oh. Yeah. Ultimate.

It's a great game.
It's really impressive, actually.
- CHUCKLES: Hey.

- It's my favourite.
- Wow. Is it?

- Yeah.
- Mm-hm.

- Hey, uh, this is Nat,
and this is John—

- Johnny.
- ...ny.
- Yeah.

- And this— this is Steph.
She's my squeeze.
- Hey.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, we've met before.

- Oh— Uh, yeah, yeah. We went to
school together. A long time ago.

- Spirit of Adventure.
- We went to school and then did
Spirit of Adventure, I think.

- Choir... Stage Challenge.
- I don't— No, we didn't do
Stage Challenge together.

- Something. Something. Something—
It was teenage, heady,

sort of formative teenage years—
- It's funny, I just can't
really remember any of that.

It's all such a blur.
- Mm.

- Such a blur. [LAUGHS]
- It's so crazy that you
don't remember any of that.

Hey, um, the house is cool.
Isn't it?

I love all the, like,
decor and stuff.
- Thanks. Yeah.

- It's really— really come along—
and oh my God, the shower.
Have you had a shower here?

- Nah, I haven't had
a shower here yet.
- You must.

- Really?
- Yeah. It's great.

Whoever bought that shower curtain
really must know, you know, cos it
really fits in this house.

They've got great taste. They know
what suits the place, you know?

- You know, I-I wouldn't worry
too much about the shower curtain.

Like, I think when I bought it,
it was kind of, like, an impulse buy
that I really sort of regret now,

and it's funny,
because I thought I actually did
pull that shower curtain down,

but somehow it's found
its way back up again.

So strange.

- Babe — it does...
My opinion, it sounds like
a pretty cool shower curtain.

- No, all my instincts are
telling me that that shower curtain
is not for me.

- OK, well, if you're throwing
it away, then, uh...

why don't you just, like,
give it to me and J, my fiance?

- All right, well, that's
the shower curtain all sorted.
- Yeah.

- Who is keen on a little bit of
beer pong? You are. I know you are.

- Yeah.
- Yep.
- Go on.

Aren't you? Go on!
- Yeah, we're keen.

- You're not keen, are ya?
- I'm fine.
- You all right, honey?

- Yep. You do what you want, babe.
- Know how clingy you are to me
and stuff.

- What are you doing?

- Playing beer pong.
- You need to leave.

- Here we go. Right, here we go.
Let's go, let's go.

- This wasn't my idea.
I-I— I tried to stop her.

- Well, you should have
tried to stop her more.

- Well, she said that
she just wanted to see you.

I don't want to have to fight
this guy. Look at his eyes. He's...
drugged-up like a racehorse.

[CHEERING]
- Well, you're not gonna
have to fight anyone,

because I am gonna sort this out.

- PARTYGOERS: Scull! Scull!
- Now.

- Scull! Scull! Scull!

- [LAUGHS]
- Nat?

A word?

Now.

[CHATTER, WHOOPING]

- Ooh! Sorry.
- Ooh...

Sorry. Um...
- Sorry— Oh no, don't be.

- Uh, sorry. I'm-I'm— I'm Johnny.
I'm Nat's boyfriend.

- Oh.
- Fiance.

Fiance... boyfriend.
- Right. Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Sure you are.

- OK. You have to go.

You just have to leave.
Please, I am begging you.
I am ordering you to just go.

- Come on, I was here when you
guys were organising this thing — you
and Lily. I just wanted to pop by.

- That's not true. You are clearly
here to play some kind of, like,
freaky mind game on me,

and it is not working.
- Freaky?

- Yeah. Yeah. It's not working.

- I just wanted to see you.

- WHISPERS: That's not true.
- WHISPERS: It's true.

- You are here because you want
Simon to find out about this.
- [CHUCKLES] He's not gonna find out.

Come on — we're just a—
a couple of gal pals that did
Spirit of Adventure together,

and now we're just here at this party
with our cute little boyfriends.

You said we could be friends.

- Yeah, we— we can be friends,

but this is— like, this—
- Can't friends go to
a party together?

Just dance?
- SIMON: Stephie!

- Stephie [?]
- DRAWLS: Ste-phie!

- Hey. Hey, hey.

- Hey. Hey.
- Stephie, baby.

- Hey, hey, hey.
[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY] Hey.

- Mwah! [CHUCKLES]
- Hey. Hey.

I just needed some fresh air,
so I came out and did the, um...

- Hey, you're not still
mad at me, are you?

- Uh— maybe a little bit.
- No, I'm not.

I'm good with you. Feeling very...
good about everything, actually.

But I'm—
- [MURMURS]

- I just need a drink,
so I'm gonna, um...
- OK.

- ...do that.
- Have one. Yeah.

[DOOR CLOSES]

- Oh, she's a good one, isn't she?
- She's a good one, yeah.
- Yeah.

You got no idea. [CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES]

[MUFFLED WHOOPS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

- Oh my God,
what happened? What happened?
- I need a drink. I need a drink.

I need, like, to have a lot of
drinks so that I can forget that
this night has happened

while it is still happening.

- Yeah, OK.

Whoo-oo!

- Another one.
- Whoo, yeah!

Oh my God, this is like O Week!
Yeah. All over again!
- Like, a big one. Big— big one.

Big one.
- [LAUGHS] Whoo-oo-oo!

OK!

[STAUNCH GUITAR ROCK MUSIC SWELLS]

- ♪ I make my money

♪ wasting my dreams.

♪ Tradin' my time for nothing good.

♪ Oh, I wanna be, wanna be,
wanna be so much more.

♪ More!

♪ So let me go, let me go,
let me go rock and roll.

♪ I just wanna, I just wanna,
I just wanna lose control.

♪ I'm sick and tired of runnin',
but I wanna go and lose my mind.

♪ So let me go, let me go,
let me go rock and roll.

[ELECTRIC GUITAR SOLO]

- Down trou!
- LAUGHS: Oh, what are you doing?
Don't pull my pants down, bro!

[CACKLES]
Faaa, I'm gonna get you, bro!

Come here. Where you going? Bro!

- That?

That's what you choose?

Steph.

- Go after her.

- Oh yeah. Yeah.

Steph!

What do you even see in him?
Cos it's clearly not his p*nis.

- He is... nice. And he...
gets on well with my dad.

- LAUGHS: Oh my God — he gets on with
your dad. What are you gonna do —
date your dad, then?

Do you even have sex with him?

- Sometimes we do, yes.

- Sometimes?

Sometimes, Steph?

Because we— we have sex all the time.

Like, day and night...

You know what? If I met your dad,
he would like me because I'm
a master of a barbecue,

and I keep his daughter satisfied.
- Oh...

SIGHS: Oh...
- Is it the g*y thing?

- No, it's not.
It's not the g*y thing.
- OK, because—

because being g*y is really cool now—
- Nat, it's not the g*y thing.
It's not the g*y thing!

It's not the g*y thing!
It's that this is not who I am.

Like, I'm not just someone
who, like, throws away
a perfectly nice relationship

and a frankly very good life plan,
just because...

- Because?

- Bec...

Aaargh!

Because, I—

It's just not me, Nat!

Like, this just feels so...
like, careless,

and, like, messy and, like,
out of control, and like, I just—

I don't— I don't know. I don't know!
I just feel like I don't know,
and I don't like it.

- Well, I-I— Neither, OK?

And I... I feel exactly the same way,

and I just wonder if that's because
that's what it feels like
to feel alive.

And you say this isn't you,
but I— I just feel like
you don't know what you is.

- Don't say that to me!
You don't get to say that to me.

You can't—
- I just did.

- I'm gonna say no to that one.
- Oh yeah?

You're gonna say no
to that one? Cool.
- No. I say no to that one,

because I do actually know myself—
- Cool. OK.

Rowing down the river of denial.
- ...and I'm happy.

I'm happy with that. I'm happy—
- No, you are not happy! You aren't,
because you break up with me,

and then you text me again
the next day and you're like,
'Come over, come over,'

and you're so rigidly hung up on this
f*ck' keep-cup, farmers-market,
tent-dress version of your life,

when really you are just scared
to be f*cking happy,

and you're just tormenting yourself
because you're a f*cking...

chicken!

- I am— I am not a chicken.
- You are.

- I'm not a chicken! I—
- Yep, you are a scaredy
little chicken pants!

- SPUTTERS: I'm not a chicken pants!
- Yeah! I mean—

You know what? Don't do that at me!
- [SHOUTS]

- I am not— I am not
a scaredy little chicken—

[SHOUTS]
- I am not a scaredy
little chicken pants!

[GLASS SMASHES]

[GASPS]
[ALARM WHOOPS]

- Oh f*ck.
- Oh sh*t. That's really bad.

- Yeah.

- Come— Come on. Go. Go, go, go!

- [YELPS]
- Go!

[ALARM WHOOPS]

- Oh sh*t!
- [LAUGHS]

- Oh my God! Is anyone following us?

- [LAUGHS, PANTS]
- Is anyone following us?

PANTS: Oh my God! Oh, God.

Oh... [PANTS]

[TENDER SYNTH MUSIC]

- SOFTLY:
You make me want to plan stuff.

[TENDER SYNTH MUSIC SWELLS]

- SIGHS: Oh...

- You still thinking
about the window? Yeah.
- Oh, I just—

I just remembered
there could be CCTV footage.
- Come on. Yeah.

- I just— I, like— I just can't get
a criminal conviction. I'm a lawyer.
- Come on. [CHUCKLES] Let's go back.

- I'd be disbarred, and have
to get a, like, new career.
- You... You won't get arrested.

I... I'll get arrested.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

- ♪ That young heart of yours

♪ Been broke a thousand times,
and when I

♪ get close,

♪ it's on the verge of dying —

♪ don't let it go.

♪ You can connect it up with mine.

♪ With a jump start,

♪ I'll boost your heart up

♪ with a

♪ jump start.

♪ With a jump start...

- I want to...

keep feeling alive,

with you.

- ♪ With a

♪ jump start.

♪ Oh...

♪ Oh...

- I am...

properly in love with you.

- WHISPERS: You are?

- ♪ Mm, mm.

♪ Mm, mm.

♪ Mm, mm.

- LAUGHS:
God, you are so bad at being led.

- Well, you drag me out of bed
in the middle of the night...

- Shush. Shush-shush-shush.
- Sociopathic—
- Shush. Shush.

OK.

Are you ready?
- [SIGHS]

- Ta-da!

- Why the f*ck did you
bring me back here?

- Well, you can follow me
and find out.

- LAUGHS: Steph, I'm not following
you. There'll be security, and...
we'll get arrested.

- Oh, come on, come on,
come on. Hey.

Stop being such

a scaredy little chicken pants

[WHISPERS] like me.

OK?

[PANTS]

[HOPEFUL SYNTH MUSIC]

OK.

[GRUNTS]

Come on.
- [GRUNTS]

- Come on. Come on through.

- Ooh— I'm stuck. I'm stuck.
- Ooh. Ooh, ooh—

- No, don't pull me, please.
- You all right?
- Yeah.

- Right. OK!

Whoo!
[BOTH LAUGH, CHATTER]

- [LAUGHS] Where are we going?
- Come on! [LAUGHS]

- Oh...
- Come on!

- [GASPS]

- Oh... Oh...!
- Oh, this is so cool.

- Check this out! [GASPS]

- [LAUGHS] Babe, this is...
- This...

It's— I— I-I...

I get it. This...

This is amazing. This...

is... [SHOUTS] an amazing stadium!
[ECHOES]

[BOTH LAUGH]

Oh my God, it echoes so much.
- [LAUGHS]

- We've gotta go. We've gotta go—
- No, stop, stop. Please stop.
Please stop.

OK, I just, um... have to tell you
something before we go,
so, uh— I'll be quick.

The last time that we were here
was bad. It was really bad.

And the reason it was bad
is because I was scared.

I was so scared
at what was in front of us,
and, like, the enormity of it,

and I just... I couldn't see
how we were going to do it.

And then when the boys were born...
well, I was just hoping that
I would just... feel better,

but I... I didn't. I haven't.
I haven't felt better.

I have just continued to feel
so scared all the time about
getting things wrong,

so I just, like, desperately—
I desperately try to get them right,

and I, like,
hold on to life so tightly.

And that has just made me into
this person that I'm not proud of.

A person who made you think
that you were the problem

and that, like...

I would be better off without you,
which is just, like... horrific.

So I know that I can't—
I can't take that back.

I wish I could, but I can't,
but I just...

I want to have another go.

OK?

So...

Nat.

You

are the best thing
that has ever happened to me.

You are.

You were the one who taught me
to follow my heart

and how to find joy.

You— you taught me—
you taught me this.

You taught me how to find the joy
that is you —

that is you — you!

And now, seeing you with our boys,
you are just...

the most incredible mum.

And you give so much to them.

And we need you.

We need you.

- Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Steph, what are you...?

- Natalie Ruby King...
- [CHUCKLES]

- ...will you marry me?

- LAUGHS: What the f*ck?!

- Yeah, will you marry me?
- Steph, you don't even
believe in... marriage.

- No, I— I-I thought I didn't, but I
think I was just scared, because...

I'm scared of everything,
but I just...

I don't want to be scared any more.

I am all in.

No matter what.

[TENDER SYNTH MUSIC]

- Oh my God, please say something.
- Yes, yes!

- [GASPS]
- LAUGHS: Yes! Yes.

Yes. Yes.

- Yes!
- [LAUGHS]

- ♪ Dumb luck...

- She said yes! [ECHOES]

- MAN: Oi!
- She said yes!

- Oi, you two! Hey!
- sh*t. Now that is security.

- Oi, you can't be there!
[BOTH EXCLAIM, LAUGH]

- ♪ I want to take you out.

♪ There must be some reason
it feels this good.

♪ All these love feelings,
they're now understood.

♪ And I'm falling into

- ♪ A dream that

- ♪ Doesn't confuse

- ♪ Says I can

- ♪ Kick it with you,

♪ with you,

♪ with you. ♪