01x04 - Breakfast Fit for a Kong

[bunniefuu]

He can climb trees?

And he can jump!

He climbed, and jumped,
and left us down here.

That's what they do.
They leave us. Consistently.

Ugh! And you said breakfast.

They'll come back!

And I thought, "Breakfast sounds great."

"Nothing has been great
on this island so far,

so what a nice change of pace."

But, no, no, no.
Instead, no breakfast, no dog, and...

Ugh.

We're being chased by monsters. Again.

Ugh, man, seriously?

You know what
they should've called this place?

"Not Great Island."

Eh, I still think
Skull Island is way better.

Huh.

- I think we can take it.
- No.

No, I don't want to take it.

Well, she abandoned us... again.

Yeah, but I don't wanna punch a dumb bird.

- Punch it in the head!
- No!

Here we go.

Breakfast!

Girl's great. Love this girl.

Told you!
I'm always right.

Wait, wait, were we bait?

Yep!

So, how did you guys meet, anyway?

Our dads k*lled each other.

How did you guys meet?

Not that way.

Nope.

- Was he that big when you guys met?
- No, he was a puppy.

He was the only dog there
and I was the only person.

So we teamed up
and took over the whole island.

Did you name the island?

Mmm-hmm! "Annie's Island."

I feel like you could be
more creative with your names.

I feel like you're just jealous
that I have an island

and all you have is breakfast.

Yeah. Well, you're not wrong.

We could build a raft.

Have you ever
built a raft before?

Why would I ever
have built a raft before?

This is my first time
shipwrecked on a desert island.

It's not a desert, it's a jungle.

Thank you, Annie.

Also, the monster in the water
will break your raft.

It doesn't matter!

Charlie can't build
a raft to break anyway.

I bet I could make a raft.

It still would break it.

And you couldn't
make a raft either.

- Why would I want a raft?
- I was talking to Mike.

I could build a raft, but it's a bad idea.

Okay, genius, so what's
your good idea to get off Skull Island?

Why do they call it Skull Island?

Think it just looks like a skull.

See? My names are great.

- Where does it even look like a skull?
- From the air.

Then you should just leave by the air.

Yeah, I think I'd have better luck
building a raft than building a plane.

- Then call a plane.
- With what? A radio...

Those guys must have radios!

Well, they...

- Huh.
- Huh?

- Huh.
- Oh, come on!

Charlie?

Charlie?

Ahh! Oof!

Ah! I'm in an ant farm.

Cool, cool. Very cool.

Let's get a move on!
Are you looking to be bird food?

Pick up the pace!

Where'd you find him?

Group therapy.

This needs to be quick and decisive.

Let's go!

Just a few miles north
and we'll be in position.

For what?

We tracked Annie
with the tracker in her handcuffs,

which is just great technology,
by the way.

Then we set up a perimeter.

Different groups at different
focal points, like a net of people.

And before her animal knows it,
the net gets smaller,

until they're right where we want them.

So we're going to our focal point.

Does that normally work
when you're hunting people?

Normally you just sh**t 'em,

and they don't have animals that,
you know, eat people.

Usually just g*ns.
We can handle g*ns no problem.

And we're not usually
on an island with monsters.

Lots of improvising going on.

How are the others taking the plan?

They hate it.

So, what did you see?

Hmm?

You said you saw something
that got you into this line of work.

What was it?

That's the whole point. I have no idea.

I was on my ship, just thinking to myself,

when the water lit up.

I looked down, and it's big, real big.

Maybe bigger than the ship, but...

playful, like a dragon or an eel.

And I saw it, and...

There was who I was before,
and then who I was after.

Only happened to me
one other time in my life.

Your boy?

My boy.

- You ever see it again?
- Not yet.

You ever see that before?

That's a first too.

I feel like a little kid.

Thank God
I don't have allergies.

Oh my God!
Look at all this science.

Oh my God, I feel like I'm in Oz...

Irene!

Hmm.

Charlie?

Mike! I'm down here! Mike!

Charlie?

I don't know, man. I, I, I...
I went down the slide, now I'm stuck here.

Hold on. I'll get Dog to get you.

Yes! Yeah! Great idea.

Oh, that's a bug home.

I know, Annie! I know!

Gross.

Annie, tell Dog to go get Charlie.

You want to go down there and get the boy?

- Nah, he's not gonna do it.
- What do you mean?

- He doesn't want to.
- Why?

- I don't know. He doesn't use words.
- Tell him it's important.

It's important.

Wait. Bad dog. Wait.

Whoa! Okay, fine!

Yep. Sorry, my bad. That was, like, dumb.

Look.
You need to tell him to save Charlie.

He won't do it. He doesn't care.

What's going on up there?

Uh, nothing, bud! Hold on one sec.

- Do you not get how bad the situation is?
- I know it's not good.

If you can't
tell your dog to get Charlie...

He's not my pet.

Ugh, this is the worst conversation
I've ever had in my life.

I'm good at interviews.

Need I remind you that Charlie
jumped into the ocean to save you?

You are a bad friend.

I'm a best friend. Everyone knows that.

- Mike left.
- What?

What are you doing?

There's something
shiny stuck in it.

Whoa-h*-h*-h*!

This is crazy!

That's a sword! No fair!

This is, like, hundreds of years old.

Mike! You fell in here too!

I didn't fall. I jumped.

Why'd you jump in?

To get you!

Wait, is that a sword?

Yeah, crazy, right?
Hey, what happened to Dog?

Well, Charlie, he didn't want to save you.

She said this would be easy.

Stop! You might cut her.

Get me out of here!

Working on it.

It doesn't wanna stay open.

I don't care what it wants.

Ugh.

Ugh! I am not gonna be
a botanist eaten by a flower.

That is not how I'm gonna go. Blech!

Ugh!

- Shut your mouth, Sam. This is not funny.
- I'm sorry.

I'm really tired.
And that was really funny.

Oh no. Remember when I said
this was gonna be easy?

I just told that to Cap.

I really jinxed it.
That was really dumb.

Shh, shh, shh.

Shh, shh.

She's dying.

- And that's gross.
- That's what I said!

This is cool

until you realize that people have
definitely been crashing on this island

and dying for hundreds of years and...

Whoa.

The monkey's coming.

Well, I'm glad we found out how
this pit got here before we died in it.

That's not what we're gonna do.
We're gonna get off this island.

I'm getting you to college.
I'm getting a new boat.

I'm finding your dad...

- What? Why are you hiding behind me?
- Because you have the sword!

Oh yeah!
I'm just not used to having a sword.

I...

- What are you doing here?
- I almost stabbed you.

- I thought you were a spider.
- I'm not a spider. Rude.

- No, I know you're not one.
- How'd you get down here?

Once, when I was little,
I fell into a bug pit.

And it was gross, but Dog was too little
and too scared to get me.

Is that the whole story?

No. Then I k*lled all the bugs
that wanted to k*ll me,

and I stacked them up, and I crawled out.

- What'd you k*ll 'em with?
- My hands.

Gross.

We never had friends before. It's weird.

We don't know if we like it,
but we do like k*lling things.

Annie, we're not k*lling anything
with your tiny hands. All right?

I have big hands!
Show me your hands!

Here you go!

I bet you haven't even
k*lled anything with your hands!

You are correct!

Why are we yelling?

Gross.

Stab it.

Stabbing it is not gonna do anything!
Why do you guys always choose violence?

Because it's not
a pacifistic ant, Charlie!

- What does that mean?
- That it comes in peace.

Yeah, it doesn't. It's hungry.

I know!

Ahh!

Stabb-y no work-y!

Oh man. That sword
was probably worth a fortune.

Oh sh**t.

Yeah, could've saved it
for the antique dealer on Skull Island.

Right, Mike?

- Watch this.
- Annie, no hands.

- Fine. Magic trick.
- Annie, do you know what magic is?

Help!

Annie, magic isn't real!

I'm sorry for what I said!

You're a best friend!
Like, the best friend ever!

Use your hands! Please, get up!

- This is the fun part.
- What?

Magic trick. No hands.

- That's not magic.
- Why wouldn't he do that for me?

Because he doesn't like you.

Hmm.

- I like you, man.
- I like you too. Way more than Mike.

- How do we get out of here?
- Ah, who cares?

I mentioned
that fountain before, but...

I think what we're seeing
on this island is a connection to...

the Hollow Earth.

You've gotta be joking.

It's hollow? I thought there was lava
in the middle of the Earth.

Think of it like another Earth
inside the Earth.

A whole other ecosystem.

So you think everything from down there

comes up here?

Wait, there's not lava?

It's a theory,
but I think it would explain a lot.

That's a lot of books
that are gonna get torn up.

And some of my books.

No lava, just... Monsterland?

Just Monsterland.

So...

you're a botanist.

You couldn't trust me
with that public information?

You're "Cap." They start calling me "Doc,"
it just gets confusing quick.

I'm not great with
genuine human interaction. I'm sorry.

Is that why you're here?

You were looking for plants to study
for your pharmaceutics?

Ha!

Ignore him.

Don't ignore me. I'm a joy to be around.

That is not why I'm here,
but it does delight me.

When I'm not lunch.

So, you're a botanist,
but you're not here for the plants.

You know about the Hollow Earth,
but you're not here for that either,

because you're chasing
a teenage girl and her dog?

I got questions.

We're in position.

You have to be more specific.
Who is "we" in this five-group team?

Wha...

Um, do you...

Do you want our real names?

Are you afraid the teenage girl

who's lived alone on an island
for ten years has a radio?

Or that the monsters inhabiting this
entirely separate island have a radio,

and also have your high school yearbook,

and can figure out
exactly who you are by name?

Uh...

It's Wells.

Thank you, Wells.

I got answers,
but let's get the kids first.

- You think they're together?
- Yeah, I've recently become an optimist.

Let's move
before they get trigger fingers.

Why would they sh**t the kids?

Well, Cap, because that girl and her dog
k*lled a lot of those men already.

I think I have a lot of good qualit...

Ugh.

No! Why...

Why am I emotionally invested
in this animal liking me?

Yeah, imagine what college would be like

when thousands of people
don't care about you every day.

My friend, all your
anti-college arguments?

Well and truly dead
after my time on Skull Island.

That's...

Yeah, that's fair.

Ah...

I wanna get a C-minus
in chemistry and be like,

"Bright side,
not on Skull Island anymore!"

Or just, like, don't take chemistry.

You have to take gen eds, Mike.
They're gen eds.

I have understood nothing you just said.

Uh, it's fine.
We're just playing the hits.

Still confused.

Hey...

I'm sorry about your dad.

I'm sorry about your dad too.

Thanks.

Hey, now we're friends!
We got stuff in common.

Yeah.

We need to run. Now.

What? Why?

- The g*ns are back.
- So?

Just get them like you did the other guys.

Mike, that's not what best friends do.

g*ns hurt.

- Why'd they sh**t him?
- I don't know.

But I'm gonna get her
before she can hurt him again.

Who's "her"?

- How should I know?
- Ugh.