02x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

I'll be in touch about next time.

Here we are.

All right?

Been here all night?

I was listening to a podcast.

Yeah. Did you know that in China,
you get the death penalty

for k*lling a panda?
Yeah, that's a true fact.

I already knew that, but...

..I was just listening to it again
to, you know, remind me.

Pandas, yeah? Yeah. Yeah.

All right?

Mm. Welcome home.
Don't be nervous. Thanks.

Well, this is new. Do we all get
one of those, Boss, or...?

Hello, you look great. Yeah,
who wouldn't, after six weeks off?

How you doing? You all right? Yeah.

So what's all this about, then?

We are establishing
a culture of responsibility

on the wing, aren't we, team?

Ahem... And the PID desk's there
to encourage prisoners to stop

looking to us to solve
all their problems,

take responsibility for themselves.

Yeah, it's not the PID Desk.

And it's Chobbler's first day
manning the desk.

How can I help you?

What do you want? I'm new.

Hi. I'm on remand,

and I was told there was someone
on the PID desk...

PID desk! ..could help me
fill in a "general app"

to help me get my clothes.

Why are you staring? Why am I...?
Sorry, what? You're staring at me.

Oh, no, no. Sorry, no, I wasn't...
I didn't... Chobbler! I'm not...

He's staring at me! I'm not staring.
No, I wasn't. I wasn't.

I didn't mean to. What?!
Honestly... What?! What?! WHAT?!

Fantastic, eh?

f*ck!

We haven't necessarily found
the right person to run it yet.

I'll come back. Who knew a bloke
who k*lled his mother and kept her

in a freezer wouldn't make
a natural receptionist? Yeah, well,

haven't heard any good ideas
from you. I'm still waiting for

suggestions from all of you,
actually. What, about the PID desk?

Can we all stop calling it that?
PID means Prisoner Information Desk,

so PID desk would be Prisoner
Information Desk Desk, innit?

I'll talk you through it
as we work. Right, yeah.

From today, Miss Gill
will be shadowing me.

Will I? New day, right?

Oh, and remember,
most song titles wins.

Listen, if it starts to feel like

it's, you know, too soon...
No, honestly, it's fine.

Is that a tan, Miss Gill?
Is that a new haircut?

It's beaut!

I appreciate the phone calls
as well,

the checking in. Well, you were
missed, by the prisoners as well.

So what's the new Governor like?
Temporary Governor.

They all blur into one
after a while. Miss!

Yeah, I'm checking for you, Darren.
I've been waiting for ages!

Morning, Mr Hemmings.

We finally shipped out Dirty Harry
and got Hemmings instead.

Stabbed a nurse in
the eye with a pen.

OK?

Yeah.

Mm-hm.

Erm, I were thinking
about starting fresh,

maybe switching a few people off
my Key Worker list

that I'm getting nowhere with.
Like who? Costa, maybe?

I think Jax would get further
with him than I ever did, so...

If that's what you want.

Yo! Anything about
my court papers, Guv?

I told you they'd do their best,
son. You've Got to Have Faith.

Ooh! Cheeky George Michael, nice!

Sir? Sorry, I was just wondering
how I get my clothes?

Just feel like I stand out in this,

just way too small. Yeah, tracksuits
are one-size-fits-all. You know why?

Because you're all the same. And
I wouldn't be putting pictures of

your kids out, never know
what people are in for. Right.

Sorry, I didn't rea...

Is it just me, or is there
loads of tension on the wing?

We've got a pad thief.

Stuff's gone missing from every
landing - food, vapes, toiletries.

Right, well, being as every other
bloke in here is a thief, then...

A pad thief's different, hated.

You don't steal off someone
who's got nothing.

Miss?

Miss Henry, you got a sec?

Costa.

Welcome back.

Was there something you wanted?

I, er, haven't had a Key Worker
session since our last one.

I just wanted to catch up.
Well, Miss Stokes is now

your Key Worker, so... Why?

Because we've got nothing
else to say to each other.

That is really not a
good idea. Why not?

I've still got that nice picture of
you on my phone, for one thing.

You've got just as much to lose as
I do. Right, it's over. So stay away

from me, or I'll have Miss Henry
transfer you to the other end of

the country and you'll never see
your loved ones. Now, f*ck off.

Fire!

Get the alarm.

Clear the landings!
Everybody out on the yard!

Fire! Fire! Fire!

D Wing, help needed!

sh*t! f*ck! I can't see anything.

Can you hear me?

Kam?

Daniel? Yes?

I was getting my meds.

Get out of the wing! Where's Kam?

Kam?

Come on, quick as you can, please.

Kam? Kam?

Kam? What are you doing?! Oi!

Move, out of the way! Oi! Oi!

Get out of his way! MOVE!
We're coming for you, Kam,

don't worry.
Can you get the fire hoods, please?

Kam, get yourself against
the back wall.

You ready? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right, move! Move!

f*ck! They've sabotaged it.

I'm going in. No, no, no.
You can't, it's dangerous!

I've no choice. Wait. Wait, wait.

There's sh*t on the handle.
Get me something, then.

Wait for the hood.
Can't wait. Step back.

Step back!

Kam...

Kam?

Hello...

All right? I'm OK.

Come on, move, lads!

Wait there.

But I've already been given
me meds, Miss Stokes.

Kam Tavernier's on
his way to hospital

because someone burnt out
his cell. Why?

I wouldn't know, Miss Henry.
You know everything, Google.

I'm not asking who, I'm asking why.
They smeared sh*t on the handle,

they did everything they could to
slow us down. He could have died.

That app you put in...

I've got hundreds of apps in.
The one requesting the visit to

the outside dentist that
I was about to turn down.

It wasn't Kam they were after.

Who, then? Daniel Wicks?
What's he done?

It's not what he's done,
it's what he was.

There's a rumour doing the rounds
and the finger pointed at him.

People think Daniel Wicks
is the pad thief?

Oh, no. No.
No-one knows who the pad thief is,

and I've had a tube of
denture cream robbed.

The rumour, Google.

Well, word is...

..an undercover police officer's
been put on the wing.

Ooh! Has she abandoned you already?

Why, were you jealous?

What you up to?

Looking out, innit?
What, with the pad thief about.

What, you've got your own
Neighbourhood Watch going?

Oh, isn't it Ironic?

When you talk to the cons,

the game is to get in
as many song titles as you can.

Hits only, nothing weird.
You in? Yeah.

And what are you doing?
Nothing, Guv.

It's Ironic. What is?

The Alanis Morissette song is called
"Ironic", not "Isn't it Ironic?".

Look, I was talking about
a little loan, it's up to you...

Happy Together there, ladies?

Mm.

It's your first time, right?

Don't borrow anything off anyone.

Right. Thanks.
I'm not saying it for you.

It'll be me at the inquest telling
your family you couldn't cope.

Can I just...? Sorry, erm...

How often do fires happen?

Oh, no more than once a week,
you'll get used to it.

What if I don't?
Then you'd better start pretending,

cos this place is full of sharks,
and if they smell blood...

I don't have anything
in common with anyone.

Yes, you have! You're a prisoner.

I'm on remand. So?

I'm a civil servant.

No, you are a prisoner...

..and you'd better start
acting like one.

Hi. Thank you for seeing me.
It sounded urgent.

Er, there's a rumour on the wing.

Sit down. There's been tension
all week. We thought it was because

there was a cell thief,
but it seems the men think that

there's an undercover policeman
on the wing. Right.

Well, I mean, I generally get
parachuted in to problem prisons

to turn 'em around but, sure, yeah,
I can start handling wing rumours

as well. Take it you haven't
been told anything, then?

What, you're taking this seriously?
Of course not. Someone's always

making something up,
they're bored out of their brains.

The problem is, the men
are taking it seriously,

which makes it serious. Daniel Wicks
was burnt out of his cell today

because he was a traffic warden


He was attacked because
he once wore a uniform? If the men

think they've identified a
serving officer, they will k*ll him.

You know what another death on
C Wing would mean?

No more C Wing.

You have to shut this down.

But how? You know what rumours
are like. Like with a fire.

Starve it of oxygen. Come tomorrow,
there'll be a new rumour, probably

even more stupid, and everyone
moves on. What if they don't?

It's your responsibility
to make sure they do.

Oh, hang on, Leigh.

Oh!

I knew I was missing something.

This belonged to Toby Phillips.
It was a gift.

The Patron Saint of Lost Causes.

I never normally take it off.

You must be letting your guard down.
You'll be telling me

where you live next. I'm, erm...

I'm not available for
the rest of the week.

I've got, er... No need to
make something up for my sake.

I'm a grown-up.
You always were very clear.

I remember liking that
about you in training.

Shame you waited 20 years
to tell me. Yeah.

Look, for a second,
when you asked to see me urgently,

then said it was about a rumour, I
thought... Thought it was about us?

I hope you're equally clear
that this can't come out.

That's why this works, isn't it?

Neither of us can afford that.

Shut the rumour down, Leigh.

Rose...

It's Miss Gill.
Have you been thinking about me

as much as I've been thinking
about you? I bet that works for

most girls, doesn't it?
Move back. Thought so.

Move the f*ck back!

We need to stay close.

I've told you... And I'm telling you

you need to stay on as
my Key Worker. Why?

Because I am trying to protect you,

and you're not making it easy.

I don't need protecting.
But you do, Rose.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

There was nothing in it, the rumour.

There's no undercover officer.
No smoke without fire!

I'm serious, Google, spread
the word, it's time to move on.

But people have moved on,
Miss Henry. Hmm.

From Daniel Wicks, anyway.

Everyone's got a theory
about who it is.

Doesn't matter what I say,
they won't stop looking now.

Used to be able to leave your cell
door wide open all day, didn't you?

Am I right? Of course I am.

There's lads in here only think
something's really theirs

if they've stolen it. What did you
get for 12 across? I remember once,

fella on a Lifers' wing
had his bed nicked.

Are you OK?

What's going on?

Nice cup of tea, Miss Henry? Ta.

Terrible thing,
when everyone's suspicious of

everyone else.
Dangerous, am I right?

Detective Inspector Shannon, please.

So, how was it?

Better than you thought, eh? Hmm.





We're all proud of you, you know,
for coming back.

And obviously, until the pad thief
is caught, we'll need to keep

our eyes open for anyone hanging
round the cells, looking suspicious.

It's a prison, they all look
suspicious! I thought Daniel Wicks

was the pad thief.
No, that's not why he got burnt out.

Really? How do you know?
Heard It Through the Grapevine?

They only count with the cons, you
plum! Let's focus on coming up with

some ideas to encourage the men
to take responsibility.

Did anyone have any suggestions
for candidates

for the PID desk? It's just PID,
man. Or anything else we could try?

Tell you what,

it's much simpler with the kids.

It's ones who behave the worst
need punishing the least.

Don't bother 'em, see, cos they know
all about anger and violence,

what they don't understand is
love and trust,

cos, well, they've got
no experience of it.

Cry me a f*cking river!

What happened to your tie, scruff?
It's not compulsory.

We've got a new arrival later,
Tyler Reeks.

I'll brief you separately on him.
Woo!

C Wing. One minute...

Can I have the office, please? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, has one of you lot
had one of my energy drinks?

Sorry. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm on my way.

Hey. I'm visiting a lad on B Wing,
so I thought I'd see you in person,

as long as you're quick.
There's a rumour doing the rounds.

The men think there's an undercover
officer been put on the wing.

I need to be able to tell them
that I've checked

and that it's definitely not true.
It's ridiculous.

Because it is, isn't it?

Well, it's, er, about the most
dangerous undercover assignment

you can do, so, er, highly unlikely.

They'd need a damn good reason.

Are you involved?

Not exactly.

What are you not telling me?

Look, all I can tell you -
because it's all I know -

is that Toby's case hasn't
officially been closed. Why not?

It's not my case, it's been
escalated. What does that mean?

It means it's now above
my paygrade,

and even further above yours.

So it could be true?
I've told you, I don't know.

But if it was, what should I be
looking for? No. You shouldn't

be looking. If they find him
before I do, they'll k*ll him.

At least tell me
how he would present.

Hypothetically,

I'd be watching out for someone
fairly new on the wing,

who fits in almost too well,

with a serious criminal record,

and doing things that get him status

amongst the other cons. OK? Mm.

Let me out! You're out of order!
Pack it in, Hemmings, now, please!

Now! Yes, yes, I hear you.
Pack it in now.

f*ck you! Now! When am I getting
out? I said, when am I getting out?

Oi. He ain't your problem
any more. Yeah.

So, what's going on
with you and Gary?

How do you mean?
Have you fallen out?

He seems...so angry. Ah, who knows?

He reckons what happened to Toby
hasn't affected him, that all

it's done is confirm that this lot
should have been drowned at birth,

but, you know... Well,
maybe he's just not getting any.

Oh!

Bruv, what you doing?!

What's he up to? Sorry, I thought
you were done. That's mine!


countries in the world,

and people ain't got enough to eat.

When am I getting out?!

Right, excuse me. When
am I getting out?! Oi!

You're not coming out, Hemmings!
Yeah? You do not get to call me

an ugly, fat b*tch and play pool,
yeah? It's one or the other.

Sir? Sir?

What's up with you, Morgan? I, er...

I saw him, Mr Campbell,
going in and out of cells,

I know who the pad thief is.

Eh...

So, what are you gonna do about it?

Well, that's why I'm talking to you.

I know I'm not meant to grass...
No buts, you don't grass.

Even though everybody wants him
caught? Did I say it made sense?

If they find out you knew who the
pad thief was and you did nothing,

your life won't be worth living.

Oh!

Something f*cking funny?

Sorry, I'm not...
I'm not disagreeing, I just...

That's how I ended up in here.

I interrupted a burglar,

and I picked up a cricket bat
and I chased him...

..and he smashed through a window,

ended up in a coma.

What, and they charged you? Yeah.

This country's a f*cking joke!

That's why I need to be careful
who I talk to, isn't it?

Because there might be
the odd burglar.

No wonder you don't fit in.

Yeah, but I need to, don't I, hmm?

As soon as possible, please. It'll
get infected. Did you see my record?

Have you seen what happened the
last time I went to see a nurse?

I'm sick of listening to you.

I ain't getting worked up. Mate...
I ain't going to health care.

Who, are you? You need to
back away from me, yeah? Oi!

Look at me, OK?
All right up there, Miss Gills?

I do... So what you hustling me for?

Go get me a plaster...
Yeah, I'm fine, yeah.

All right?

Back in your cell.

New watch?

New day.

Ah, so, Latvians, again. Oh!
They've been brewing hooch.

If you don't let enough air in
while it's fermenting, it explodes.

Yeah, and the Kosovans on the Twos
are making yoghurt somehow but, er,

I don't even wanna think about that.

I still hear the sound
sometimes, in my sleep.

Me too. If I sleep.

Can't get used to a soft mattress.

I thought it were my turn.

I thought it were another g*nsh*t
and it were my turn.

Why would someone want to sh**t you?

Why would someone
want to sh**t Toby?

I don't deserve to be here.

Why not?

If you need someone to talk to,

you can talk to me.

After what you did for me,
I want to be there for you.

All I did were listen.

You made me realise that it
was safe to trust someone.

Well, why aren't you?

There's something you're not telling
us, isn't there? I'm your boss,

there's lots I'm not telling you.

If you want us all
to work towards the same thing,

you need to tell us what's going on.

I'm seeing someone.

Like a therapist?

No, a man. You think
I need to see a therapist?

No. I...

I just...

Er... Surprised?

No, no, no. Erm...

Well, yeah. Well, it's not
a relationship, it's more... It...

It works, for both of us.

Well, as long as it's got nothing
to do with this place, I'm glad.

What about you?

Relationships? No trust.

You keep telling everyone you're
fine, but you're not, are you?

Mm. If there's one thing I know,
it's what scared looks like.

No-one is gonna hurt you, Miss Gill.

Not while I'm around.
And I'm not gonna let you give up

on this place.
It means too much, doesn't it?

Doesn't it?

What if I'm more trouble
than I'm worth?

You all right?
I thought you was going home.

Yeah, I'm all right now. Mm.

Had another hug?

Something like that.

So, Jax, about Costa, I were
thinking I should carry on as

his Key Worker, after all.
Oh, why? Yes, why?

Is Hemmings back from
Healthcare? Mm.

I've decided not to give up so easy.

I don't want f*cking Maguire back!

You know, I've thought about it,

and there is no point
me carrying on with you,

cos there's no trust between
us. Rose, you can trust me.

You can't trust me.

Otherwise, you would have told me
everything you know.

Right, last chance.

Why do I need protecting?

Someone has to take the blame.

The blame for what? For the feds
getting hold of that strap.

I don't understand. They said in
the news that g*ns have been found

in prisons before, it's not that
unusual. What's so special about

this one? Look, I can't say
any more, so don't ask.

You need to watch your back, Rose.

Look, I'll tell you
when I know more.

I can protect you,

but only if we stick together.

Why are you here, Mr Hemmings?

Have you got Alzheimer's?
You've only just banged me in here.

I mean, this prison.
What was your offence?

Why don't you look it up?
Why don't you tell me?

There was a disagreement,
in a bookmakers.

Where? What is this? Where?

f*cking Preston! Why?

And is that where your
father was a policeman?

So you DID look it up.
Which constabulary was he in?

Why are you checking up on me?
Most people whose parents are in

the police don't become violent
criminals, they join the Force

themselves. Maybe most people's dads
aren't horrible f*cking psychos!

What was yours, a dirty screw?

Look, I hate the police.

I hate anyone in uniform.

You'll stay locked up till
Governor's Adjudication.

Miss?

You think I'm the undercover copper,
don't you?

Are you? So there is one?

Listen, baby, I need you to tell Dad

that I'm moving onto C Wing today.

You know how he worries.
We can't have that.

Yeah, for real.

Looking forward to seeing
a few old faces.

Morning, campers!

Hi-de-f*cking-Hi!

Welcome to the jungle.

Freeflow, ID cards ready!

Did you tell an inmate
there IS an undercover policeman

on the wing? Of course not.

That's what people are saying,

so don't be surprised
if there's more fire.

You need to spread the word.
I've spoken to the police,

there's no undercover officer.
Well, what else would they say?

I'm telling you, anyone arriving
on this wing from now on

is gonna be a prime suspect.

f*ck!

Can I talk to you?

Welcome, Mr Reeks.

I'm Miss Henry. I'm CM on C Wing.

I won't remember your name...

..but you're gonna remember mine.

You'd do well to keep your head down
at the moment, Mr Reeks,

since you're new.

That right, is it?

In a bit, Miss.

What's up, bro?

You're the pad thief.

What? I saw you,

going in and out of
everybody's cells.

No, no, man. OK, but...

I was looking for leftovers...
Shut up! ..not stealing.

I swear down.
I'm feeding the pigeons!

Oof!

I know we're not meant to,
but they're the same as us,

no-one likes them either! Shut up!

Please, man, don't!

Coming through! Coming through!

Gentlemen, the alarm's sounding,
back in your pads!

Traditional punishment
for a pad thief.

All right, love. All right.

All right. Zahid, stay with me.

Some f*ck keeps drinking
my energy drinks.

Poor Zahid was still saying he was
no pad thief as they got him in

the ambulance. Yeah, well,
Tiny Malone reckons he's had

his deodorant nicked just ten
minutes ago, so it looks like

Zahid was telling the truth.

Don't suppose he said
who attacked him?

I want to put Hemmings
in charge of the PID. PID!

Thank you. Seriously?
Wait, did you say Hemmings?

Why? Because I heard what you said -
about the most unlovable ones

being the ones who need it most.
That's kids, not blokes who've gone

tonto in a bookies with a machete
and blinded a nurse with a Biro.

But your insight was,
it is, valuable, and inspiring.

Yeah, well, that's me, innit,
you know? Ahem...

f*cking inspirational.
We'll give Hemmings some authority,

show him that his experience
is worth something too.

Because no responsibility
means no self-worth.

Nothing good comes from that.

Let's go, ladies.

Er, Leigh?

Thank you.

Come here.

Oh!

New day, eh? We should all, er,
go down the pub one night,

have some team drinks and all that.

You don't think I need
a therapist, do you?

You what? Oh, actually,
did have this idea, Boss.

OK. So, you know how the wing's full
of men who've got practical skills,

OK? And at the same time,
we can't get Works to do anything

for months cos everything's
outsourced now, so...

I love it.

How do you mean?
I mean, that's a great idea.

Uh... But, erm,

we're not going to do it? Yeah, we
are. We are. We're gonna do it.

And we'll go to the pub.

Right.

Why's your bell on?

I did it.

Did what?

Pad thief.

I didn't want to, but I did.

I'll be all right now, won't I?

Eh? Should be.

You've proved yourself.

Proved that you are one of them,
after all.

Congratulations.

Oh, and sh*t's still going missing,

so you didn't even get
the right bloke.

Jax?

Mr Campbell.

Can we just...?

Can we just go back to how it was?

We've talked about this.
No, I don't mean sex. Just mates.

Dunno. Can you stop
acting like a twat, or...?

I dunno...

..but I'll give it a go.

Miss you.

OK.

What you up to tonight?

Hey, no, I'm not asking you out,
just making conversation.

Same as every night, going home
and cooking tea. What, fish fingers?

Oh, my God!
What, too near the knuckle?

Just steady, yeah?

Why? If we can't give the murdering
shitbags what they deserve,

we can at least enjoy it
when they give it to each other.

Another Day in Paradise, eh, Tiny?