02x07 - Out East

[bunniefuu]

[landline ringing]

[lawyer] None of this is new to you, Coop.

The PPM,

LPA,

subscription agreement,

investment management agreement.

- All standard terms and fees.
- [Coop sighs]

- Any questions?
- [breathing deeply] All set.

- [phone buzzing]
- Sorry.

Do you need to take that?

No, it can wait.

Sorry.

- Let's start signing.
- [chuckles]

[unsettling music playing]

[Cole] Coop.

[pen scratching]

[Cole] Mm-hmm.

Welcome home.

- Who would've thunk it?
- [Coop] Yeah.

[unsettling music resumes]

Uncle Charlie.

I know a secret about you
you don't think I know.

- [Uncle Charlie] What secret?
- [grunts, hums]

- [chattering continues on TV]
- [grunts]

[phone buzzing]

[sighs]

Hey… [stammers] …Elena.

[Elena] You've been avoiding me.

I have not been avoiding you.

I have been very busy.

Are you busy now?

Yes, in fact, I am.

Why don't you put
the f*cking snacks away and let me in?

Hey, what are you doing here?

[sighs] Well…

I heard about your father.

I wanted to come by
and see how you're doing.

I'm doing fine, thank you.

- Really?
- I don't know.

I take it you're not just sneaking around
my backyard to offer your condolences.

No.

I heard from my friend Victoria.

You know, the one I was telling you about
who works at that house on White Birch?

Well, the family is gone until Monday.

They're opening their Nantucket house,
and they're taking her with them,

so the house will be empty all weekend.

Well, I am gonna be out east
all weekend starting tomorrow.

East? What are you talking about? China?

The Hamptons. [sighs]

Owen Ashe is hosting an event,
and I have to go.

The guy that we robbed?
Why would you do that?

[smacks lips] He's blackmailing me.

To go to the Hamptons?

That's some bougie blackmail.

Yeah, seriously though.

What the f*ck is going on?

He has me on tape in his house.

- Does he know about me?
- No, he doesn't, and he won't.

- Why didn't you tell me?
- Because I didn't want you to worry.

What's he making you do?

It's complicated.

Let's pretend I'm as smart as you are.

[chuckles]

I'm investing his money
for a little while.

[scoffs] f*cking white people.

Yeah, tell me about it.

So, what's going on with you?
Why the sudden urgency?

Chivo got arrested.

sh*t. For what?

For being a f*cking idiot.

The point is,

I talked to your buddy Barney.
He told me that my money is tied up.

So, I had to borrow bail money,
and then Chivo took off.

Thanks for that, by the way.

Yeah. Well, believe me,
I need that money as much as you do.

But Nick took Owen on as an investor,

and Barney can't touch anything
until they review the books.

Okay, so this guy who's blackmailing you
is also the reason I can't get my money?

[sighs] I don't think I like this guy.

[Coop] He knows I'm waiting, right?

You sure you're up for this?

You just buried your father.

Yeah, it'll be a nice distraction.
This week has been a lot.

Yeah. It'll be nice for you
to have this time with Hunter.

Somehow,
I don't think that's the draw for him.

- The daughter.
- Mmm.

- Delilah?
- Delilah.

Yeah, he might be out
of his depth with that one.

She looked like she was about to give him
a hand job under the table at the seder.

That's why that night is different
from all other nights.

Oh, will you do me a favor and check
in on Ali, please, while we're gone?

- I know you don't want me hovering, but…
- [machine whirring]

Her father died. This is when you hover.
Of course I will.

- Yes. Yeah.
- Thank you.

What's happening over here?

Ugh, they're building a stone wall.

- It's a whole thing. Don't ask.
- Okay.

Hey, I hate to bring this up
right now, but, um,

I didn't get my wire from you this month.

What?

That's weird. It should've come in
last week like always.

I checked again this morning.

[exhales deeply]

Well, uh,
I've been moving some money around.

- Maybe I screwed something up.
- Yeah.

I will, uh, take care of it.

Look at this.

[Mel] Well, hello.

- Have fun and be safe.
- I will. Yeah.

- Yes. [kisses] Okay.
- Bye.

You gonna be all right?

Rattling around in my big, empty house,

abandoned by all those
I hold near and dear?

Not to put too fine a point on it.

I'll be fine. Maybe I'll actually get
some writing done for once.

That'd be nice.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye, menfolk.

Bye, Mom.

- [horn honks]
- Love you.

[chattering in Spanish]

- [Nick] Oh, baby. Where's Barney?
- [Coop] Okay.

- I don't know where the f*ck he is. But…
- Is he gonna show?

Not my problem.

- We're going either way. Oh.
- [car horn honking]

- Whoa. Wow, wow, wow.
- [chuckling] Whoa. There he is.

- Better late than never.
- [Nick] Big weekend, boys.

The three amigos, back at it.

[Coop laughing]

- And Grace!
- Yeah.

- [Coop] Ah.
- [mouthing] What the f*ck?

Park it indoors,
where nothing can ding it, okay?

- Okay.
- You hear me? All right, good.

Wow, seriously?

I didn't ask you to buy me a Rolls.
It's exhausting.

- Hey, how are you?
- You're welcome.

- Hey.
- [Coop] Hi, buddy. How are you?

- Oh, Grace. I'm so glad you came.
- I know.

It's not a party till
the pregnant wife is here.

What a pleasant sur… your chariot awaits.

- [Nick] Yes, let's do it.
- Yes, let's do it.

- [Barney chuckles]
- Wow, look at you making an entrance.

Hey, uh,

I missed a child support payment.

[sighs] sh*t, I'm sorry.

Ashe's guys are so far up my a*s
they can see out of my mouth.

Okay. Well,
any idea when that's gonna be finished?

Could be a week, could be a month.
They are annoyingly thorough.

g*dd*mn it.

Did your father… He leave you anything?

Hey, I'm-I'm just looking
at all the options.

Well, that is not one of them.

He had a life insurance policy for my mom
and a very small trust fund for Ali.

I think he thought he didn't have
to worry about me.

Ironic.

Question, do you ever ask yourself

why Ashe is bringing all of us out
for the entire weekend?

I mean,
the party isn't until tomorrow night.

Pretty sure he thinks we're his friends.

He just forced you
to commit financial fraud for him.

You just committed financial fraud for me.

That…

That's true, but I'm just saying, these
people have been all over the gym books.

I mean, what if they found something?
You know, what if…

what if this is some kind of a setup,
you know?

Barney, it's just a weekend.

Try to relax, okay?

Yeah. Okay, you're probably right.

Just don't steal anything.

[chuckles] Very mature.

[theme song playing]

♪ A paper shadow
In a house of stone ♪

♪ The wooden flag
Of a drifting dreamboat ♪

♪ I never knew
How far the ride was gonna go ♪

♪ Till I looked back
At the smoke ♪

♪ You can't keep up
With the Joneses ♪

♪ Don't wanna run
For the roses ♪

♪ I got my pocket of posies ♪

♪ Sometimes I wonder why ♪

♪ Sometimes I wonder why ♪

♪ I just don't run
With the Joneses ♪

♪ Don't wanna smell
The dying roses ♪

♪ I got my pocket
Full of posies ♪

♪ I don't keep up
With the Joneses ♪

[Nick] Oh, yeah.
This is what I'm talking about.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

Whoo.

[Coop] The iconic
Haverford Estate was built

on two acres of prime
Sagaponack beachfront property,

featuring a 10,000-square-foot house,
pool, garden, and tennis court,

all done in the classic
East End shingle style…

until Owen Ashe acquired it
for a cool 12 million,

and then spent another 12 demolishing
and rebuilding it in an early modern style

he hoped would make Charles Gwathmey
and Norman Jaffe proud,

and trampling over decades
of town ordinances

and dune preservation efforts
in the process.

Whether you're sitting
in traffic or flying over it,

getting to the Hamptons takes some doing,

so you might as well have a place
like this to make it worth the trouble.

- Hey! Welcome, welcome.
- Whoa! [laughing]

How was the ride out?

- Smooth, man.
- Yeah?

- Thanks for the chopper.
- Hey, of course.

The last thing I'm gonna do is
subject my guests to Hamptons traffic.

How you doing, brother?
It's good to see you.

- Good to see you. Welcome.
- Hi.

- Hey, Coop, glad you could make it.
- Hey.

- Of course. Of course.
- Yeah.

Hey, Hunter. How are we feeling?

- Dad, no.
- Okay.

Come on, I'll show you around.

Oh, Mini-Cooper's got some game, huh?

[Ashe] Okay, all right.

So, get settled, take a look around,
take a dip in the pool, whatever works.

Hey, Hunter.

[Ashe] Tomorrow night's the main event.

Just having a few friends over,
nothing big. You get it.

But tonight, I've got a great dinner
planned for just us.

I brought in my buddy, Chef Nicholas.

- I'm telling you he shits Michelin stars.
- I'm sorry to interrupt,

but could someone
please show me to the closest bathroom?

My pelvic floor is basically Swiss cheese.

- Ah. Anka.
- Yeah.

- You all right?
- Mm-hmm.

- [Ashe] All right, check out this view.
- [Nick] Yes, show me.

- [Ashe] Yeah.
- [Nick chuckles]

- Damn.
- Wow, this place must have set you back.

- Yeah, go big or go home, right?
- This is your home.

[laughs] I love this guy.

- Coop?
- Hey.

Hey, um,

I was so sorry to hear about your father.

Oh, uh, thank you.

Yeah. Well, um, how are…
how are you doing?

[stammers] Sorry, I don't… I'm…
Am I even allowed to ask?

You know what, forget it. I'm just…

- I'm sorry.
- No, it's fine.

I'm fine. Thank you.

- Are you… Are you really?
- Hey, good news.

My team has finished their review
of Nick's Strong a*s Gyms,

and we are ready to move forward.

- Yes!
- [Ashe laughing]

[both laugh]

- [Ashe] Oh, sh*t! [laughs]
- [Nick] My man!

- How's that feel?
- Feels good.

So, uh, what happens now?

Okay, so we're gonna start consolidating,
absorbing back-office systems…

accounting, bookkeeping,
payables, receivables, the works.

That way, when we scale up,
we'll have our systems in place.

Whoa, whoa, hold on a second.
We… We haven't discussed any of that.

I mean, we can't just hand over
all of our controls to you day one.

I think $30 million should buy me
some transparency, don't you?

Sure, but, uh, transparency
and control aren't the same thing.

But why would you want to have Nick
pick up payroll, benefits and liability

for an entire back office when I've got
the infrastructure already in place?

Because it's Nick's business.

Okay, easy there, Barney.
We're… We're all friends here.

Hey, it's all good.
He's just doing his job.

Look, your core competency
is wealth management.

Mine's running companies.

And if you're willing to ignore
an operational efficiency

to the tune of seven figures…

Well, I got to wonder why that is.

[Nick] Come on, Barney,
let's make it work.

Besides, I don't want you wasting time
balancing the checkbook

when you should be out there
growing the Brandes empire.

[chuckles]

I'm copied on all financials.

Yeah, of course. Hey, it's your show.

- [Nick laughing] Full speed ahead, boys.
- Full speed. Full speed.

All right, no more shop talk.

Sam and I got a couples massage.

So you guys make yourselves at home,
please enjoy the place.

- See you all a little later.
- Okay.

- Have fun, guys.
- All right.

- Here we are.
- [Ashe] Enjoy!

I didn't realize
that everyone would be coupled up here.

- I guess that makes you my date.
- Ooh.

[laughs] Not for long.

Just watch.
I'm putting out a bat signal for us.

Oh, no. I'm good. Thank you.

You sure? There's some serious
talent out here this time of year.

Come on, I got Hunter.

Yeah, but from what I can tell,
we won't be seeing very much of him.

I know. That's… I'm…

Your loss, my friend.

♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪

[hammering, grinding]

♪ I feel good
When things are goin' wrong ♪

♪ I only listen to the sad, sad songs ♪

♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪

- [song stops]
- [hammering, grinding resume]

- [line ringing]
- [classical music playing on TV]

[phone buzzing]

[whispering] Oh.

Hey, Mel, what's up?

Uh, hey, I hear we're both
flying solo this weekend.

You want to come over
and Netflix and chill?

[whispering] That's not what that means.

- It isn't?
- No, but yes, I-I'll come over.

Why are you whispering?

I'm teaching.

Really? Why did you pick up then?

- I thought it was an emergency.
- No, it's just me.

Go back to your students. Call me later.

Okay. Bye.

[laughs]

[hammering, sawing continue]

[peaceful music playing]

- [g*nsh*t]
- [screams]

[music stops]

What the f*ck?

Oh, sh*t. I'm sorry!

[exclaims]

I didn't…

I'm sorry.

Look, I know they look sweet and innocent,

but they are considered
an invasive species around here.

They carry ticks that spread disease.
They decimate vegetation.

Believe it or not, they are the primary
cause of car accidents around here.

In fact, there was a guy
from South Africa who brought over

like 20 African lions and released them
just to hunt the deer down.

I don't like g*ns.

Of course.

I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking.

Let's go back inside.

[workers chattering]

What's everyone doing out so early?

Well, they're mostly just
showing up to see who else is here.

Is that what we're doing?

No, we are bonding.

Your grandfather loved this place.

His parents had a place out here
before the Hamptons were the Hamptons.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

Do you miss him?

I do, yeah.

Yeah, me too.

It's a lot bigger
than I thought it would be.

I guess no matter how old you are,
your father is still your father.

Come on.

Coop!

Bosley, how're you doing?

I hear you made Jack your b*tch
and put some serious coin into Bailey.

Well, I'm just trying to make a dollar,
you know what I mean?

[laughs]

What was that?

That was Bosley.

And you now know him
about as well as I do.

Why don't you go see if our order's ready?

Sure.

- Coop?
- Hey!

- Hi. What a nice surprise.
- Indeed.

- I didn't know you had a place out here.
- I don't.

I'm just staying with a-a friend.

- Nice.
- How about you?

Oh, I have a small place in Sagaponack,

on Hedges, just down
the road from the general store.

Nice, yes.

Oh, how is Jack faring?

[sighs] Jack is a c*ck.

He'll survive a nuclear blast.

I've been meaning
to call and check on him,

but honestly, what do I even say?

Yeah, it's not like
they make a card for that.

No, they do not.

- So, how long are you out here?
- Just till tomorrow.

Oh. That's too bad.

Well, actually, um,

this guy I'm staying with
is having a small party tonight.

- You should come.
- I don't think so.

Honestly, you will probably know
more people at this thing than I will.

Text me the details. I'll let you know.

- Okay. Good to see you.
- Okay.

Nice to see you too.

Who was that?

[playful music playing]

It's a long story.

[guests chattering]

You're gonna eat the whole thing,
so eat the whole f*cking thing.

Just eat it. Who you fooling?

[Barney chuckles]

- Owen.
- That's Ashe's lawyer.

[Ashe, lawyer whispering]

Uh, hey, sorry, everyone.

Um, nothing to worry about here.
We'll be right back.

Un-f*cking-believable.

Ashe?

This bullshit again?

I told you that you need
to get a f*cking warrant, my friend.

You can't find anything on me.

You're trying to embarrass me
in front of my friends.

f*ck you
and f*ck this whole f*cking circus.

- Watch your tone. Calm down.
- Get the f*ck out.

- What the hell is this?
- No idea.

You show up over and over again
with your little sh*t-eating grin,

- and you come up with this…
- This isn't good.

- [agent] Follow the law better, sir.
- No sh*t.

- Laws? I'm not breaking any laws.
- We'll find that out, won't we?

[Ashe] You think I'm f*cking gonna
sit here and take it?

f*ck you.

Mark my f*cking words.

You with your f*cking sh*t-eating grin,
get the f*ck out of here!

This is f*cking blatant harassment.

Think we should leave?

I think we should give it a beat.

Besides, there's probably a pretty
good bottleneck in the driveway already.

- I can be packed in less than a minute.
- I'd pay to see that.

- No, no, guys, you can't leave me here.
- [Ashe] Hey!

Sorry, guys.
They do this to me once or twice a year.

It never amounts to anything.

I guess they like to keep me on my toes.

- Well… What are they looking for?
- It's a fishing expedition.

They don't like the way I make my living,

and they really don't like
that I'm not breaking any laws.

You okay, man?
Things looked pretty heated out there.

Trust me, it's fine.
It's all part of the dance.

Now I threaten to sue, and that
agent's boss's boss makes him apologize.

Rinse and repeat.
Once you reach a certain net worth,

they like to paint targets
on your back, that's all.

And I hope that wasn't too douchey.

Just douchey enough.

Great, exactly what I was going for.

All right, so, party starts at 5:00.

That leaves us plenty of time for a swim,
maybe an afternoon siesta.

I'm gonna get changed. You coming?

Let's do it!

[Samantha] Uh…

I don't even recognize teenagers anymore.

Welcome to my world.

I mean…

they should be cutting class
to go smoke a bowl, or…

or dry humping in their parents' car

or listening to punk rock
or getting a stupid tattoo.

Instead,
it's like they're building their résumé.

And they're missing the whole point
of being young and dumb

and just rushing into adulthood

like there's some kind of
buried treasure there or something.

Not all of them.

Oh, yeah, well, Tori's a smart kid.
She'll figure it out.

I would settle for her just talking to me.

Well, why don't you sh**t her a text, see
if she wants to come on over and hang out.

- She… She doesn't.
- Oh?

Do not underestimate my appeal.

[laughs]

- Okay, let's send her you and the pool.
- Mmm.

- Look really appealing.
- Bacon, egg and cheese.

[both chuckling]

- Ooh.
- [Mel] Okay, wait. Um…

"Join us for a swim?"

Okay, here goes.

[gasps, sighs] Mmm.

[Ali] Mmm.

[Mel] Come on.

At least she's responding.
That's progress, I guess.

Ah, see. She's coming around.

Eventually all girls need their mothers,
and that's coming from me,

- and you know my mother.
- [shudders]

How's the Mayfield gig?

Why? What? Did they call you?

No, why would they?

No reason.

[mysterious music playing]

The FBI aren't the tidiest
of house guests, are they?

Sorry.

- What for?
- [sighs] I didn't…

[stammers] …I didn't mean to snoop.

Sure you did.

It's okay. I like it.

Do you?

Hey, so…

The agents before, that whole business,

you're probably wondering
what you got yourself into

and whether or not
you should pull the rip cord.

Am I right?

[sighs] Something like that.

Well, listen, first of all,
I don't want you to feel stuck here.

So if you do want to leave,
I'll have somebody take you,

but I really hope you won't.

I need you to tell me the truth.

I haven't lied to you.

That's not the same thing.

You're right, it's not.

But you can ask me anything.

- I've got nothing to hide.
- Okay.

Why was the FBI here?

They were assisting Interpol.

Okay… [chuckles] …that was helpful.

- Thank you.
- Okay.

So, the lead agent,

the guy I was outside shouting at,
his name is Mohler,

and he's spent years trying to nail me,
the scumbag, for obscure maritime crime.

It doesn't matter to him
whether or not I'm even guilty.

As far as he's concerned, anyone as
rich as I am is guilty of something.

Well, are you guilty?

Well, I push the envelope occasionally,
but everybody does.

But I mean, guilty of crimes? No.

And when Mohler is gone,

and he will be when DeMille is finished
with him, all of this goes away.

Now seems like a good time for you
to tell me what it is you actually do.

I told you I own
an international freight company.

I know, but what do you ship?

Well, we ship everything.

Fruit, cars, food,

phones, electronics, machinery,
clothing, chemicals, microchips…

Weapons?

- Sometimes.
- Are you an arms dealer?

- What? [laughs] No, no, no.
- You just said that you ship weapons.

Yeah. Well, everybody ships weapons.

The United States ships over $250 billion
worth of weapons every year.

And you ship only for the United States?

[chuckles] Listen,

you can't run a company this big without
running afoul of geopolitics now and then.

Last year's allies are
this year's enemies,

and we do our best.

And DeMille has an army
of lawyers under him to make sure

we are always
on the right side of the law.

- I could use some water. [sighs]
- Okay.

You know how sometimes a kiss
feels like the opposite of a kiss?

- I wasn't fishing.
- Sure you weren't.

[knocks on door]

- Hey, buddy. What's up?
- Bad time?

Uh, no. Uh, Grace is in the shower,
but you can come on in.

- [Nick sighs]
- What's up?

Uh… [sucks teeth]

Do you think it was a mistake
getting involved with Ashe?

I don't like to be the guy
who says I told you so.

- I mean, that was the FBI out there…
- Yeah.

…and he's walking around
like it happens all the time.

The gym is my legacy.
It's for my kids and their kids.

I can't mess it up.

Yeah, okay, look, when I get back,
I'll talk to Burian and his team.

We'll see what kind
of wiggle room we have.

- All right? Okay.
- Okay. Cool.

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Wait, uh, w-w-which one is Burian?

- That's our lawyer, Nick.
- Lawyer!

We had lunch in his office
a few weeks ago.

- Right, right. sh*t.
- Yeah.

Ever since this all started,
there's too many damn people.

I know.

Look, give me a few days.
I'll see if I can get you out of it.

Oh, I'm not saying I want out.

I mean,
we're talking global expansion here.

I just want to know what's what, you know.

Well, usually you find that out
before you get into bed with someone.

- Uh, not in the NBA, you don't.
- [chuckles]

- [chuckles]
- Right.

Look, I know
I should have looped you in sooner.

I'm probably overreacting. I just need
to know what I'm dealing with here.

I think we just saw
what we're dealing with.

It's a lot of money, Barney.

Okay. I'll get into it.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

You gotta find out where they got
this tiling done… Oh, Jesus, no!

- Barney!
- Hi, Grace.

Am I getting whacked?

Huh?

Oh. No, no, no.
We're just sorting out that FBI stuff.

No bugs on the beach, right?

Not on me.

You two haven't formally met.

Luc DeMille, Andrew Cooper.

We were thinking, Mr. Cooper,
you and Owen make a pretty good team.

We'd like to keep that going.

- What does that mean?
- You manage more of my money.

And I throw you 5%.

I don't know,
it's kind of hard to trust somebody

who began our relationship with blackmail.

Well, you began it
by stealing from me, right?

You saw an opportunity and you took it.

So did I. And it was ugly
and stupid and beneath both of us.

Now I'm offering you something different.

It's fraud.

Nah. It's Wall Street.

If you're not bending the rules,
you're not playing the game, right?

Does the FBI think that?

Well, that's the thing, Coop.

If the FBI is looking this closely at me,

eventually, they're gonna
be looking at you.

You're managing


We're kind of married, aren't we?

- So it's not really an offer.
- Of course it is.

- You can say no.
- What happens if I do?

[chuckles]

Talk to my lawyer.

It's not an offer.

Maybe I should get my own lawyer.

Talk to the FBI myself.

Well, you could do that.

But historically it hasn't worked out
very well for people in our business.

Is that a threat?

Enjoy the party.

["Woof" playing]

Let's go.

♪ You, hey ♪

♪ I see you trying to climb in my sunroof
Hey ♪

♪ I guess it's a good thing I'm waterproof
Hey ♪

♪ I'm gonna make you, I'll make you woof
Hey ♪

♪ I'll make you woof ♪

♪ I'll make you woof ♪

♪ I'll make you woof ♪

♪ I'll make you woof ♪

[music ends]

- Look at you.
- Hey.

So, we might have caught a small
break with this whole FBI thing.

- Yeah? How's that?
- Nick's getting cold feet.

Well, warm feet.

But I might be able to use
this to quash his deal with Ashe.

And then you can get our money back.

There's that.

But I'm actually more concerned about
getting this guy out of all of our lives.

He's bad news.

- I thought you'd be happier about it.
- He just offered me 5%.

- Of what?
- Of everything.

- You're doing the math?
- I don't have to.

That's 20 million dollars.

That's not including gains,
but I assume you told him no.

I might not have a choice.

- How dangerous is this guy?
- [Coop] Uh…

Hey, we're going to cut out,
go to a party.

You're at a party right now.

We're going to a better one.

Will there be drugs at this party?

Not as many as there will be at this one.

Fine. Go. Get out of here.
Make good choices.

You too.

Uber. [sighs]

Why did we think it would be
a good idea to procreate?

You know you can't do this, Coop.

I might not be able to undo it. [sighs]

We'll think of something. We have to.

Until then?

Until then, my friend,
we eat, drink, and make merry.

"For tomorrow we may die"?

What?

- No, that… that's not how that goes.
- That's how it ends.

That's how that quote ends.

Well, that's just stupid.

["Matter of Time" playing]

Mmm, mmm. Hey, guys. Try these.

- Whoa, whoa. We already have drinks.
- Oh, no, no.

These are better,
these are better. My recipe.

- Okay. I didn't think it'd be purple.
- Here we go. Let's have a toast. Okay?

To new beginnings.

All right.

Mmm.

- Ooh, man. That is good.
- Nice, right?

- What's in it?
- Beluga Vodka.

It's $25,000 a bottle.

Elderberry syrup and a little lemon juice.

Mmm.

And MDMA. Oops.

- What now?
- Just a little bit.

- Little bit. Come on. Come on.
- [laughs] Oh, boy.

- [laughs]
- There you go.

- [Nick chuckling] sh*t.
- There you go.

- Well, I guess we're doing this.
- [Nick] All right.

- [Coop] Well, here we… Down the hatch.
- Barney, my man.

[Coop chuckles]

♪ It's my orbit ♪

♪ It's my energy ♪

[distorting]
* Sometimes something happens to me *

♪ I was walking ♪

♪ Girl walked into me ♪

♪ Changed my day so unexpectedly ♪

Cricket, hey.

- You came.
- Yeah.

- Wow.
- Oh. Hello… Hey.

[moans] Okay.

Well, happy to see me?

What gave it away?

Uh, I think we need to catch up.

Yeah, we've been putting
a little dent in it.

- Excuse me. Thank you.
- Thank you.

[laughing] Cheers.

Mmm.

[Chelsea] I am so out of here.

I just got my roommate assignment at Duke,

and it turns out she's this pageant girl
with like 200,000 followers on TikTok

and she's an ambassador for Rhode.

Ugh, I'm so jealous.
You'll get invited to the best parties.

I know.

I just literally
cannot wait to get out of here.

It's like I'm allowed to be sad,
but not too sad, you know?

I mean, my dad died, of course I'm sad.

Does this make me crazy or crazier?

- No, that is not fair.
- Oh.

And trying to prove that I am not crazy
is starting to drive me crazy.

Like, what is the statute
of limitation on this thing?

Like, when is everyone gonna stop
treating me like Girl, Interrupted?

And, you know what, it's not fair
because no one's up Andy's a*s

about how he's grieving or not grieving.

And let me tell you something.

I don't care how it looks on the outside,
my brother is a disaster.

You brother presents

as an all-American classic alpha male,

who's got it all together.

And the reason people buy into it is
because he's so good at selling it.

[inhales sharply]
He's just, he's handsome,

he's smart,
he's successful, he's good-looking…

And when he talks to you with those eyes

and he zeroes in on you in a crowded room,

it's like you're the only person
in the universe.

- Okay. All right.
- With the… No.

So, my point is that that is
a mask that he presents to the world,

but just beneath the surface, he's
a giant, simmering mess of a man-child.

And the tragedy is that nobody notices

- until…
- [sniffing]

What… What's going on?

Do you smell that smell?

[sniffs] That smells like actual sh*t.

It's my neighbors.

They're doing revenge construction
because of the whole dog thing,

and they put a porta-potty

for their work crew right on my
property line just to f*ck with me.

What?

- Did you talk to them?
- I did.

And that might have been my first mistake.

I also may or may not have
gathered some poop from their dog,

put it in a gift bag,
and presented it at their doorstep.

[laughing]

Just in case you thought you'd
cornered the market on crazy.

[snorts]

[groans]

- Oh, my God. m*therf*ckers.
- Yeah.

[shushes]

Do you want to know
what I think your problem is?

I really do.

I don't think you're crazy enough.

So, Owen Ashe…

Yeah, what about him?

He doesn't really strike me
as someone you'd be friends with.

[shudders]

Well, that's a completely
understandable reaction

based on the brief glimpse
that you've gotten of him.

Oh, so there's more to him?

No, no, no, no, no,
you-you hit the nail right on the head.

Careful. [laughs]

Uh, we're more friendly acquaintances,
I would say.

- Okay, I got it.
- Kinda like we are. You and I.

Okay, I don't… I don't think
that's what we are,

- is it?
- Oh, well, what are we?

I'll let you know when I decide.

Keep me posted.

- Hello.
- [Grace] Hello.

Hi, I'm so sorry.
I just have to talk to him for a minute.

Really?
We're kind of having a moment here.

- Really.
- It's… It's fine.

I'm gonna meet you back
at the house. It's fine.

I'll see you back there.

What do you want, Grace?

Do you think I'm an idiot?

No.

I don't know what you're up to,
but I don't like it.

I'm gonna need a little
more context for that.

You and Barney are up to something.

Barney and I are always up to something.
He's my financial manager.

And most of his clients don't
pay him in paper bags full of cash.

[sighs] He could be working for my father,
you know?

And instead, this.

Okay, the cash was a onetime thing.

I know how bad that looks.
[stammers] There's nothing to worry about.

Right.

So, I say again,
do you think I'm an idiot?

- I believe we've covered this, Grace.
- Hey!

You almost got him k*lled once.

If you do it again, I'll k*ll you myself.

He's lucky to have you, Grace.

No sh*t.

[dance music playing in distance]

[music continues, louder]

[crying]

[breathes shakily]

- Hey.
- [inhales sharply] Hey.

- Uh…
- Are you okay?

Are you asking
or just being polite? [chuckles]

I-I think now I'm asking.

Well, um, let's see.

This morning, the man I'm dating m*rder*d
a deer with a r*fle right in front of me,

and then the FBI and Interpol
came to take away all of his hard drives,

so, yeah, I'm doing great.

But other than that,
pretty great weekend, huh?

What is it with the men I choose?

- Hey.
- [stammers] No,

I'm just saying, like,
the top of the barrel

is the emotionally unavailable ex-husband
of one of my closest friends.

I mean, like, I don't even know
what I'm doing anymore.

Just to be clear,
you're saying I'm the top of the barrel?

[chuckles]

Come on.

If it's any consolation, I think we're all
pretty f*cked up in one way or the other.

Thanks, it's not.

I just never expected
at this age to feel so alone.

Well, honey, I'm right there with you.

But, look, you got out of
this thing with Paul, right?

That was bad.

But you're out of it.

And now you're already better off.

Give it some time, all right?

It's… You only have to get it right once.

Do you think I'm making
a mistake dating Ashe?

[sighs] I…

I think you might be.

[stammers] But you seem
to be hanging out with him.

Well, yeah,
that's how I know that you shouldn't.

[sniffles, sighs]

[sniffles]

It's nice to be able
to talk to you like this.

Come on.

It wasn't all bad, was it?

You know it wasn't.

[romantic music playing]

[sultry music playing]

[moaning, breathing heavily]

- Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Okay, okay.

Wait, sorry.

I'm sorry, I just… [pants]

I don't think we should do this.

Yeah.

I'm just trying not
to complicate my life with sex anymore.

You're probably…

right.

[dance music continues]

I mean, the whole college thing,

it just comes too early, you know?

Right? I mean,
we don't know anything about anything.

We don't even know who we are yet,
and we're just…

supposed to start making these huge life
decisions about who we're going to be?

I mean,

how can you decide who you're gonna be
if you don't even know who you are?

Right?

You wanna go upstairs?

Sure.

[partygoer] Chug. Chug. Chug.
Chug. Chug. Chug. Whoo!

Yeah! Nice.

Tori, is that your Audi in the driveway?

- Yeah.
- Sorry, you're blocking me.

I need to get out.

[sighs] I'll be right back.

[police siren blares]

- [Mel] Crap.
- [Ali groaning]

[groaning] Oh, my God.

[both grunting, straining]

- [groans] Oh, my God, this is heavy.
- [shushes]

- Oh, f*ck.
- Bend at the knees.

- Where else would I bend from?
- f*ck me.

Okay, I think… I-I…

Oh… [stammers] …I give up.

- It was a valiant effort.
- No, we can do this.

- I-I think we should stop.
- Um, too late! [screams]

Oh, sh*t.

[exclaims] Oh, sh*t.

Right?

[gasps] Run!

- [breathes shakily, screams]
- [dog barking]

[gasps] Mel!

- I'm okay. Keep running.
- [whimpers]

[pants] Oh, sh*t.

What the f*ck?

Are you insane?

Oh, my God.

[police radio chatter]

[cop] Watch your head.

[breathing shakily]

[sighs]

Tori?

- Ma'am!
- Oh, no, please sir.

- Mom?
- [Mel] Please, sir. Wait.

[stammers] Tori!

That's my daughter. Please, sir…

[stammering]

[scoffs]

[dance music playing]

Hey.

- Whoa.
- Take me home, Coop.

[exhales sharply] Okay. Okay. Let's go.

- Watch your step.
- [phone vibrating]

Jesus.

I gotta take this.
I'm so sorry, give me a second.

Hey.

Is everything okay?

[Ali] Uh, define okay.

- What's going on?
- Uh, Tori got arrested.

- What?
- Yeah, it was a DUI.

You have got to be kidding me.

Mm-mmm.
They won't release her to me, Andy.

It has to be a parent.

Ali, I'm three hours away. Call Mel.

So, uh, f-funny story…

[sighs]

That sounds like a rain check.

I'm so sorry. I have to go home.

Is everything okay?

Yeah. Uh…

[sighs] I'll call you.

Maybe I'll even pick up.

Pick up.

sh*t.

Hey, guys, I gotta go back to Westmont.

No way. What, now?
It's the middle of the night.

I know. Apparently,
Tori and Mel were arrested.

- [chuckles]
- What?

I'm gonna need the long version
of that story.

Believe me, so will I.

- What's happening?
- Don't worry about it.

- [Ashe] Who needs a refill?
- Hey, I can't.

- Sorry, I-I gotta go home now.
- What? Right…

- Like, right now, now?
- Yeah.

- You okay?
- I'm fine. It's a family situation.

Well, my driver's done for the evening,
but take one of the cars from the garage.

Great, thank you so much.
That's… Oh, God! f*ck. Hunter.

They're still at the beach. Don't worry.

I'll take him home with Delilah tomorrow.

- Thank you.
- All right.

- Let's go.
- You're not going anywhere.

- I'll drive you.
- You don't need to do that. It's fine.

No, I think I do because I'm pretty much
the only sober one here right now.

I am fine.

You're not.

I'm driving.

Okay? Let's go.

- Keep an eye on Barney.
- [Ashe] Keys are in it.

- Okay. Thank you, Grace. I mean it.
- [chuckles] Now we can have some fun.

[all laughing]

["Gambler" playing]

♪ Darling ♪

♪ You're living in a violent way ♪

♪ I've tried, now ♪

- [Coop] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Jesus.
- [tires screeching]

- [Coop grunts]
- [panting]

[Coop] Holy sh*t.

- sh*t.
- Are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks.

You okay?

- Yeah, let's just take it slow, huh?
- Yeah.

- [sighs]
- [sighs]

♪ Living in a violent way ♪

♪ And when you're done ♪

♪ Leave a little bit for me ♪

♪ It tore my mind ♪

♪ You're living in a violent… ♪

♪ It tore my mind ♪

♪ It tore my mind ♪

In this world, Elwood, you must be
oh so smart, or oh so pleasant.

Well, for years, I was smart.

I recommend pleasant.

You may quote me.

[person on TV] This is it.

- Here we are.
- Okay. Thank you very much.

- What?
- [movie continues on TV]

[sighs]

- [tires screeching]
- [engine revving]

[tense music playing]