01x14 - The Final Supper

[bunniefuu]

[all gasping] Oh, my God!

[Deena] Gorgeous! It is very pretty.

You're welcome.

There's some weird tension between Jenni and Mike.

You have no idea what I have done for you.

I heard you said you were gonna nail me with a pie in the face.

Yo. I feel insulted!

His horrible decisions

stem from the drinking and the partying.

[Ronnie] It's so nice out today.

He's talking [bleep].

About me? No.

Bro, you wanna start right off the bat?

What are you talking about?

Oh!

♪ Here I come

Yeah, buddy!

Party's here!

The Situation is under construction.

This might not have been the best idea.

We're so classy now.

On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

♪ Here I come ♪

♪ I thought you wouldn't believe ♪

♪ All the things that I've seen ♪

♪ But from my head to my heart ♪

♪ And everything in-between

Yo, Jenni! Hook it up.

Oh, wait, Mike's cooking tonight, though.

[Mike] Now, how do you want your--

your, uh, cutlets cooked right now?

Last time you baked them.

Are you guys not baking cutlets today?

He's doing it, so he's probably gonna [bleep] it up.

[Mike] JWoww wishes I would [bleep] it up.

This is the last dinner. The whole squad is sitting down,

so I cooked an awesome meal for my roommates

as a thank you for last night's

help with my proposal.

Don't touch-- Don't touch my sausage and peppers.

We got some chicken cutlets, sausage and peppers,

garlic bread, some vegetables, and a salad.

We got a good situation.

Uh, first of all, I'd like to thank you guys,

every single one of you guys, for last night.

You know, I can't believe I'm even here eating now.

I wasn't supposed to come down here, but I am.

I got engaged. It was awesome.

I love you guys. Thank you.

You're welcome

[Pauly] Very good. Love you too.

This is our last family dinner.

I think we should go around the table,

um, and just say a little something real quick.

Talk about our time here. Our favorite moments.

My personal favorites are me and Ron spiraling.

That's awesome!

No! Because, like, I never--

You remember those?

Not really, but I hear about them.

Heyyy!

We are... The degenerates are here!

...spiraling.

Cheers! One, two, three, go!

Whoa! [laughing]

[clattering]

Whoa! [laughing]

You had a blast. No, I had such a good time.

I have one. Being the prank w*r champion,

whatever I did, the whole Angelina thing, right?

So I was like-- The worst.

But in a way it was like the worst

and the best prank ever.

[Pauly] Hey, girls. [Deena] Hey!

Hey, how are you?

Oh, hi!Yeah-- Huh?

Did you poop your pants?

It was like period [bleep].

What-- Where-- What the [bleep] world am I living in right now?

Is there [bleep] [bleep] in my pants?

See, I'm-- My mind is blown! I can't even understand it.

It pranked everybody so [bleep] good that it pranked myself.

I hated myself after that, right?

But at that moment was my highest moment,

'cause I realized how much of a family we all really are.

Moving right along, Vincent?

Well, for me--

You cheated. [laughter]

I got it, I got it.

I'm gonna choke! Oh, my God!

I'll give you the Heimlich maneuver!

What can I say? I cheated.

So, anyways, I liked when Uncle Nino and my mom came.

I felt like that was... [Ronnie] Oh, that was so...

Oh, that was amazing. So needed.

No way!

Oh, my God.

[bleep].

I've been calling you for a month.

You don't pick up the phone. So, you happy to see me?

I'm happy to see you, but I don't know how happy I am

for you to be in this crazy house.

[Jenni] Uncle Nino! What the [bleep]?

What the [bleep] are you doing?!

Don't, don't, don't!

I see your ba*ls!

No!

What are you wearing?

I get to look at Uncle Nino

and see what I never aspire to be.

You are him already! You are him!

You are him when you're drunk. When you're drunk.

One more. I'll throw it back to the beginning when, um...

Throw back. When I poured champagne on that girl's head.

Yes!

That was messing with Deena.

That might be my highest moment.

[electronic music playing]

[Vinny] She was about to hit Deena

in the head with this bottle of champagne.

As soon as I saw that, I was like, "Nope."

Get the [bleep] out of here!

That was awesome! Thank you.

The fact that Vinnie stuck up for me like that.

Like, I was like, "He loves me."

I just gave here a little champagne shower.

Jennifer?Ahem!

Mine were actual, like, little moments.

Like, when Vinnie dressed up as Victoria.

Victoria! Victoria!

[Nicole] Victoria!

Oh, hey, boo!

What the [bleep] is that?!

She's gorgeous!

She's gorgeous!

This is the perfect woman!

I've been waiting for this my whole life.

[laughter]

Like little moments throughout the whole time here

were just great memories that I'll have for a lifetime. [Pauly] Mm-hmm.

My best moments were obviously coming down here.

You guys were already moved in the house, and I was not here.

Right. So when I found that I could get here,

that was a very high moment.

Yay!

The family is whole again.

This is where I belong.

This is my squad, and listen, we got a good situation.

[Deena] Mike!

It's Ron's turn.

Let's get this [bleep] over with.

Yes, Ronnie's going, yes!

So, I'm grateful to say that I am blessed

to have all seven of you in my life,

and I'm blessed that Sam didn't come,

because now you guys got to see who I really am,

and you got to see how fun I am, and happy,

and, like, what I really am.

Not a person that's always angry

and fighting and screaming

and trying to cause chaos and drama. And sad.

Like, I'm happy, I'm fun.

Like, this is who I really am.

I think Ronnie is confused about where he is in life.

He's just trying to convince himself he's happy,

but when Ronnie gets drunk, he's talking different.

Maybe you're ready to have the child, but you're not ready to get married--

For a relationship, no, no, I'm not, I'm not.

Absolutely not, no.

So, obviously, my lowest moment

was bringing those girls back from Mokai.

That was my worst decision.

Let's all find the Jacuzzi.

Oh, hi.

Hey, Jenni! They want a little hot tub, so...

Mm-hmm.

So do this mean you are shutting down Ronnie's Tours?

[Jenni] Ronnie's what?

Ronnie's Tours.

Be careful. Very tricky stairs.

This is my room. This is the bathroom.

I wonder if this door works.

Oh, 'cause he gave a tour of the house?

[all] Ohh!

[Mike] Ronnie, you're getting hammered tonight, son.

Why you judging? Why are you judging?

[Jenni] Why you judging?

[Mike] Oh, damn! The whole house!

Thou shall not pass judgment.

[Nicole] This is his-- He's celebrating.

Mike, why do you say Ron needs rehab?

[all] Ohh!

[overlapping shouting]

First of all, I'm having a kid in, like, six weeks.

When I like to drink, I like to [bleep] party.

I didn't make it my life. You made it your life.

You let it affect your whole life.

You let it destroy your life.

So don't sit there and say I [bleep] need rehab.

Who said you needed rehab at this table?

You did! You did! When?When?

You've made it a point in the house.

[Jenni] There's a lot of history between Ron and Mike,

and they've been having this blow for blow

clap back thing the whole vacation.

We're a family. We're here.

Let's not, like, leave with this bull[bleep] still here.

Let's air it out.

All right, number two, number two...

Yo, you made it a point in the house, and I just said, yes,

I get crazy when I party,

but it never affected my life, bro.

You made it your life.

You let it affect your whole life.

You let it destroy your life. So don't sit here and be like,

"Oh, I'm saying something. "Destroy my life?

Yeah, bro, look at you! You've [bleep] got tax evasion.

You almost lost everything you [bleep] earned.

Did you not call me... Yes, yes, yes...

...two weeks before we came here and said you needed rehab?

Yes-- No, I said I needed help. Are you kidding me?!

I said I needed help, and the baby coming my way.

You said you were going to rehab when you leave here!

No, I said when I leave here I'm gonna do a rehab. You said you were going to rehab!

My rehab's different from your rehab.

Rehab is rehab! What are you-- You're gonna deny that, bro?

You put people's dirt out there.

You had to bring it in the house.

[Pauly] Mike and Ronnie's dynamic is crazy.

They have this history, and it's bad.

It was only a matter of time before

either Mike or Ronnie would lose their mind, and it is happening.

Your [bleep] is public! Your [bleep] is real news!

It [bleep] is [bleep] on the papers!

That's why I talk about it.

I don't bring your dirt in the house.

I don't [bleep] sweep your name into the [bleep] mud.

I just say what facts are.

So you don't go low in this house? You go low.

Of course, but it's facts! I don't have a problem, bro.

I help myself. You need help.

You never helped yourself! You need help.

Lauren helps you now.

I take care of [bleep] Jen,

I take of my kid, and her [bleep] kid.

[bleep] facts! End of the [bleep] story, bottom line!

So don't ever [bleep] say I need help.

♪♪

Don't ever [bleep] say I need rehab or [bleep] help.

I help myself.

You need help. You never helped yourself!

You need help. Lauren helps you now.

I take care of [bleep] Jen, I take of my kid,

and her [bleep] kid. [bleep] facts!

End of the [bleep] story, bottom line!

So don't ever [bleep] say I need help.

First of all, you're coming from a bad place right now.

No, I'm coming from a great place. Yes, you are.

Yes, you are. Facts, bro.

We are all [bleep] brothers and sisters in this house...

We are, so that's why I can talk to you...

And you do not need to raise your voice like that.

I do, because I get that you [bleep]--

You're four years [bleep] sober,

or two and a half years sober. Yes, yes, yes.

But I have partied with you before.

Have we not?

Wait, wait, wait. We've partied before.

Yes, yes. So for you to sit here and pass judgment on me

on what I've done when I have full--

Well, maybe half control of my life

when you've never had any control is [bleep]

being not what you've learned in [bleep] in rehab.

I agree to disagree.

I agree to disagree. That's fine.

I agree to disagree. That's all.

[high pitched] Awkward!

[Vinny laughing]

[Vinny] All right, well, is dinner over? Awkward!

I think it's over.

[Vinny] What the [bleep] just happened?

This is like Jedi level pot stirring by Jenni.

You know, we were just about to make it out of the house,

and Jenni was like, "No, no, no."

[Pauly] That's family dinner in my house.

[Vinny] Yeah.

What a great last night.

[Mike] I know, right?

I'm going to talk to Ron.

I'm allowed my opinion, that's all.

I know that. I know, I know. I get it.

Too much?

Too much-- I actually think that was fair.

I give it to you.

Typical last dinner.

Amazing food, good memories, and a side of yelling.

If that [bleep] would've went ten seconds, I would've [bleep],

like, literally... Yeah, I know.

Like, beat his a*s. Mmm, I know.

I went to him in confidence.

That's like me calling a sponsor almost.

[bleep] that happened not in the house

is none of nobody's [bleep] business. Nobody's business.

You don't bring outside [bleep] up. It's none of nobody's [bleep] business,

and that's what I don't like. He just used it against you.

He used it against me. That's what I didn't like.

He used it as a a*mo. Yes. You don't [bleep] do that.

For that, now I don't [bleep] call you no more.

Now we're back at square one. You're "The Snitchuation".

You're still a little b*tch. I know.

I feel like Mike's done nothing but stab me in the back.

It sucks, and he gets me [bleep] angry because I went to Mike

asking for his advice and asking for his wisdom, you know,

and he tries to throw it back in my face.

If he weren't so nice, I probably would've slapped

the [bleep] out of him already, like, honestly.

You should probably sleep in the Smush Room tonight.

Like [bleep], I probably will.

I don't think he needs rehab.

I think he's living it up for the baby.

[Deena] This is the thing that bothered him.

He had a private conversation with you all--

Like, out of the shore house. Uh-huh.

Right? Yeah.

And you aired it out. And you aired it out here.

You don't do that.

[Deena] Shouldn't Mike know about, like, people confiding in people?

Like, just be there for them.

You don't have to air their [bleep] out like that.

That's not okay.

If you cared really that much about him,

you would've pulled him aside privately.

You brought it up saying...

You said it to the girls. "Ronnie told me--"

'Cause I have an opinion and I told you guys.

You guys didn't go through what I went through.

You didn't go to rehab. You know what I mean?

I'm coming from a point of love.

You know, right now you're coming at me.

I'm only trying to help, brother.

I'm giving my opinion that I think that he needs

to maybe get a little help.

Don't judge him.

What he's going through he's going through.

What do you mean? I'm not judging anyone.

Well, like, just by telling him.

Like, he knows what he has to do. Un-huh.

Don't throw it out there like that.

[Nicole] The way it's coming off is you're attacking him.

Listen, I'm not judging. I'm concerned.

I love Ron.

I love every single person in this house,

and I'm gonna keep it real.

Do you want me to leave?

Yeah.

Listen, I wanna just sit down with you immediately

because, um, we should not act like that

at the dinner table however it is. You're right.

Honestly, Mike, I confided in you

in something personal, and you put that [bleep] out there,

that's not okay, bro. It's not. I apologize.

And I apologize for the way I reacted,

but my reaction was to your action.

Number one, I care about you.

Number two-- I love you, bro.

I [bleep] help set up your proposal.

Number two, I was [bleep] wrong.

I'm [bleep] concerned about you.

Yeah, bro, I have-- I'm getting drunk here, bro.

You know what, I'm going home to a [bleep]

pregnant woman, a baby, like,

this [bleep], like-- All right,

and you told me while we were in here

that you are gonna get your act cleaned up

when you get out of here. Yes.

And I went-- I went low, I went low. I'm sorry.

You went low, and I went lower, and that was--

I'm sorry for that. Yeah.

And you know what, that's something that I need to work on...

Yeah. ...and it's with you, my friends,

the woman that I'm with. Yeah, yeah.

When someone goes low, I need to stop going lower,

because it doesn't resolve nothing.

Me and Mike are always gonna have a little bit of animosity.

It's just what it is. It's always been that way.

But at the same time, I do love him,

and he's definitely been like a brother to me.

Listen, [bleep] was said... Come on, come here.

We got this, bro. I'm not mad bro.

Come on. I'm not, I'm not. We got this, bro.

All right. Let's go [bleep] finish this the way we started this: strong.

[Mike] One day, we love each other. Next day, we hate each other.

But deep down through all the bull[bleep],

I really do care and love Ronnie and wanna see the best for him.

You know what, Mike?

Next house, we're gonna be roommates again.

I'll call it now.

[Ronnie laughing]

♪♪

[Jenni] Do you wanna still go? [Deena] Yes!

Does anybody wanna go to Palace?

Honestly, I'm so tired. My body is drained.

This vacation has literally wore me out.

Like, as bad as I wanna go to the drag show, I need sleep.

Let's do this.

Tomorrow, this vacation is over,

but before we leave...

To the Palace!

Deena and I are gonna rage with the drag queens.

[Deena] We're gonna have so much fun.

[Jenni] So much fun. We're gonna have so much fun.

The Palace has the best drag brunch in Miami,

and I am super excited.

Are we close? Oh, yeah, we're here.

Cool.

♪♪

[indistinct chatter]

Basically, this place has everything I like.

Food...

Thank you!

A drink...

Can I have another pinot?

And a g*y.

Ohh, bacon. You love him, yes!

Like, my three best things.

This is [bleep] living.

[men cheering]

This is going to be an amazing day.

[man] Make some noise!

♪♪

There's something about g*y bars.

There's so vibrant, full of life.

Give me a drag show and see Jenni come alive.

♪♪

Oh!

The drag queens start coming out, and I'm like,

Oh, my God, they're beautiful!

♪♪

♪ Hey

♪ Tell me what's up next ♪

I am like a kid in a candy store watching these girls perform.

They can turn it out.

Backflip, dropping it like it's hot,

knowing that they could destroy me on the dancefloor any second.

♪♪

[duck phone quacking]

Hello?

Pauly, it's Yoni. What's going on, dude?

Hey, what's up, my dude?

I got an offer for you to DJ in Miami, and it's at Eleven.

Oh, no way! So dope.

That's like our favorite spot out here.

I'm going to shut Eleven down

harder than it's ever been ever in history.

Like, it's gonna be so lit,

it'll be the litest night we've had yet.

All right, talk soon, kid.

Cool, all right, later.

What is the deal?

What happened, what happened?

Spinning at Eleven, spinning at Eleven.

Get out of here!

Spinning at Eleven. [Ronnie] Oh!

Spinning at Eleven.

I love Eleven!

[overlapping chatter]

I see Deena going like this.

I'm like, "Oh, I think it's about time to leave, girl."

Okay? Wait, you have my purse, right?

I have your purse. Let's go.

Girl, you've really drunk today. You did.

I'm gonna put you down for a nappy.

Yeah.

Ugh! This meatball is a little too sauced.

I can't hang the way I used to.

[Deena] Hello?Hi.

Hello! What's up, [bleep]?

The door's a little stuck.Hi.

[indistinct] [Ronnie] Oh, God, did you go to the Palace?

Yes.

She needs to go to bed.

I do need to go to bed. I need to go to sleep.

No, she needs to go to bed so hard.

These are girls are wasted. I love it.

I'm like, "Welcome to the Spiral Squad."

Where's Deena? She's downstairs.

I brought her home to put her to bed

'cause she started, like, not making sense,

but then our cab ride was-- How was it? Tell me everything.

Our cab ride was so long we ended up passing out.

Where's my Nicole?

What?

[Jenni] There she is.

Yo, I'm done.

[Nicole laughing]

[Jenni] Here she is, here she is.

I love you guys so much!

Oh, my God. She's-- She's too much.

That's too much.

[Nicole] Hey, babe.

Oh!

God. Watch--

Just side.

[Nicole] The girls are definitely now alive.

They clocked in.

Now they're in the Spiral Squad. Thank God.

No, you're my-- Whoa!

Done. We're done.

But [bleep] me, 'cause I missed it.

I don't know if they're gonna actually make it out tonight.

It was amazing.

It was. We were just like this.

Yes! Took all our money.

We were just doing it. Took it all.

Here's some water. That's not water.

It is water.

[Jenni and Nicole laughing]

♪ Outside it's a big, big world ♪

God.

[Deena] The Palace did a number on us.

Like, this is definitely the tough part of being a meatball.

You have to, like, keep it together.

My body hates me right now.

But, you know, Pauly's DJ-ing at Eleven.

I guess I'll freakin' rally.

All right, guys, going to the soundcheck.

Have a great time.

We will be back. We gotta roll.

Ron, be good!

I will.

He's not gonna be good.

♪♪

♪ Yeah

[Pauly] Tonight, DJ Pauly D in the mix, live at Eleven Miami.

♪ Going hard until I die

♪ That flyness money cannot buy ♪

[laughter]

♪ We in the club

♪ We shut it down

♪ Let the ladies know that it's popping now ♪

Let's do this. Let's do this.

[chatter]

Oh, [bleep], check me out. Oh, look at that guy.

I'm gonna get a picture of that.

Hold on. [Ronnie] Who's that guy with the flowy blowout?

I'm excited for tonight. Tonight's gonna be popping.

What's up, my man? Yo, thanks for having me, man. Welcome, man.

So excited, man.

Yeah!

There's no better feeling in the world than the club owner

coming up to you and telling you

the response has been through the roof.

Yo, Ronnie.

Yeah, what up? We good?

Soundcheck with Pauly D, behind the scenes.

You gotta pay extra for this footage.

You coming tonight, Ronnie?

Yes, sir!

The second I get to these turntables

and I'm like, "Ahh! I'm back!"

[electronic music playing]

I mean, I'm not just showing up and just plugging in.

This is my passion here,

so I'm leaving it till everything's flawless.

Oh, good.

I don't know what to wear.

What should I wear? I don't know what to wear.

[Nicole] I think we should all look presentable.

I'm wearing this for dinner.

Well, in that case. Right? I don't judge.

Super excited, because tonight we're going to Eleven,

you know, see some boobies and butts, and Pauly's DJ-ing.

I'm so excited. It's gonna be a [bleep] show.

Ooh!

That almost set your hair on fire! Brah! Brah!

No, this is scary.

[Vinny] Jenni cooking in the kitchen.

It's like my eyeballs hurt.

[Nicole screams]

Jenni!

Wrong with you!

I put a little water in there to test it.

Jenni!

[Vinny] Yo, you scared the [bleep] out of me.

That's like me when I cook!

She's gonna burn the house down with all of us in it.

b*tch, I got kids. I don't wanna die.

What the [bleep] happened?

Vinny, a huge flame went up

and touched the ceiling. And a flame went...

Oh, my God, like flambé? [Jenni] Yeah!

I wanna live to see Pauly DJ. Step away from the kitchen.

Stay-- Stay away. Let Mike cook.

[laughter]

Jenni just almost [bleep] died, so now,

we have a fire extinguisher!

Babe... We're safe. Oh!

My dad's a fire fighter. I know how to use this.

If that happens again, I'm gonna just squirt the whole kitchen.

I thought the [bleep] house was burning down.

I just [bleep] my pants. Go change your underwear!

♪ And I can feel you in the air tonight ♪

[Ronnie] Soundcheck.

Yeah, buddy!

See you tonight.

♪ They're watching me, they're watching me ♪

Soundcheck. Soundcheck.

Soundcheck was a success.

Everything's checked out. We are good tonight.

It's gonna go down. DJ Pauly D in the mix.

I can't wait.

Here we go, the last day.

Good way to spend the last day in Miami, at Eleven.

Back to reality, back to life.

Am I scared to go home to Jen and [bleep] not work out?

Yeah, but I'm also happy that I'm going home to her, you know,

so it feels like it's Catch-.

When you guys went out and [bleep], I [bleep] stayed back.

I just didn't really wanna be a part of everything

that had been going on. Like, you know?

Yeah, yeah. It's something about, like, a moment the night before.

Going home, I was looking at my calendar,

and I was just like [bleep], bro.

I was like... so much happening at once.

Like, I got the baby coming.

Like, being with someone, and, like...

like we technically just really met.

Yep. To be honest, bro, like, you know, it's scary.

It's a lot for anybody.

Ron's scared of not having that perfect life,

which is bull[bleep].

This is-- There's the modern family now.

Like, you don't need to be married to have a child.

You don't need to be with the baby mama

to have a good relationship with your daughter.

So, it's like he's scared of all that.

This is a real life thing you're going through.

Yeah, I know, I know. And you're entitled to feel however you feel.

I think you're gonna be all right, though.

I also think Ron's scared of being alone as well,

'cause I've never seen him legitimately single.

I think that's where a lot of the issues stem from.

He's forced his relationships to happen

'cause he thinks he needs to be in one.

He needs to get himself right,

'cause you can't jump into a relationship

until you're fixed.

He's not fixed from his relationship with Sammi.

If there's one thing I want you to know, and this is real,

like, you don't have to think you're going through this alone.

Like, I've been through it. You know how I felt was like

getting thrown in the water not knowing how to swim.

Yeah. I had nobody to talk to. I'm here for you.

You can just call me whenever you want.

I appreciate that. I love you like a brother.

Yeah, like alone is the worst.

♪ Call my trick over here she blowing me up ♪

♪ I'm spending money on her like I'm in... ♪

[Jenni] Nicole's bringing back the pouf-pouf?

The pouf is coming back tonight.

[Pauly] DJ Pauly D in the mix tonight.

The last night out in Miami, and I'm spinning at Eleven.

So we're doing it real big.

Gotta have the dopiest chain on, the dopest jewelry.

The blowout has to be on point,

and I have my whole family with me.

Oh, that's what I'm talking about.

I die!

I die, I can't. It looks good.

I know. I can still do it.

The guido is back. Snooki's here, b*tch!

The number one [bleep] guido and the number one guidette.

Yeah, check out my poufage. Blowouts and poufs, blowouts and poufs.

Are you supposed to see that?

The cooter? Yeah, it's like a bodysuit.

She's like Karma Jenni.

[Pauly] Last night out. Let's roll out.

Cabs here. We finna turn up.

[Nicole] We ready, b*tches.

Last night out in Miami!

[all cheering]

Where the [bleep] is the cab?

[Mike and Pauly] What?

[Pauly] Party bus is here!

[Jenni] We got a party bus!

Party's here!

[Jenni] Is that an Eleven bus?

Yeah, buddy!

Eleven takes care of me.

This bus is perfect.

It's like the ultimate pre-game party to get to the party.

It's the party before the party.

[Nicole] I'm gonna miss you a*s[bleep]!

[all] "Jersey Shore" forever!

♪♪

[all cheering]

[Nicole] Ohh!

[Pauly] Ohh!

[overlapping cheering]

[camera shutters clicking]

♪♪

[Pauly] Walking into Eleven, and it is lit.

This place is packed. Beautiful women everywhere.

This is gonna be a good night.

♪♪

[laughing]

[Ronnie] This is the best way to spend our last night,

and before I have to deal with responsibilities back home.

And I'm gonna be like, "Jesus, I wish I was back in Miami

with these six crazy b*stards."

[laughing]

♪♪

[woman's voice] Put your fist out for DJ Pauly D.

[cheering and applause]

[shouting indistinctly]

[cheering and applause]

I'm about to rock it tonight. Yeah, buddy!

Who's ready to get this party started right now?

Make some noise!

[cheering and applause]

Let's go!

♪♪

When Pauly's up on the turntables,

this party comes to life.

Everybody stands up, everyone's on couches.

He goes in right from the first song and we never sit down.

Every song is just banger after banger.

Everyone's going crazy. It's power hour.

♪ What you want

♪ What you want

Jersey Shore's in the building!

Shout out Vinny, Ronnie, Mike "The Situation,"

Snooki, Jen, and Deena! Pauly D, let's go!

♪ Turn up the base

[cheering and applause]

♪♪

DJ Pauly D in the mix, let's go!

♪♪

[Jenni] So I'm watching Pauly spin right now,

and I look behind him and I'm like...

oh, my God.

That's Pauly's stalker come from Seaside.

Everywhere we go, there's Pauly's stalker.

[Pauly] This girl is going to k*ll me.

She's gonna kidnap me, put me in her basement,

have me DJ for her, and I'm gonna be M.I.A.

You guys are gonna be looking for me.

[Jenni] It's so creepy. Vanessa flew from Jersey

just to, like, look at Pauly like this in the back.

♪♪

Seriously, like, what is happening.

You better be sure Pauly's all right,

because who knows what the freak

she's carrying in her bag and [bleep]?

[Deena] Pauly!

Holy [bleep]. What do I do?

Thank her for coming? Heh.

Wow...

Seeing her in Miami's trippy, but I have a moment, I'm like...

is she a stalker or a super supporter?

She has on an "I Heart Pauly D" shirt

she got from the t-shirt shop.

Full blown Pauly D tattoo.

Vanessa is the real MVP.

We've been looking for a good woman for Pauly,

but maybe she's been under our nose the whole time.

♪♪

♪♪

There's tons of hot strippers in here

and, you know, I'm curious.

I wanna know what goes down.

♪♪

Wow, this is actually nice.

It's not a bad time.

Whoa!

Who knows how to beat that beat up?!

[cheering and applause]

♪♪

[Vinny] This is such a perfect last night to this trip.

Ten years ago, we didn't even know each other,

and the one thing we had in common

was beating the beat up together.

We're older now, but we still go hard.

We're still the same guidos that fist pump

and beat the hell out of that beat.

Everything that we've been through, the ups, the downs.

All the [bleep], you forget about.

Everybody is getting along, everybody's smiling.

Music does that. Music brings people together.

And that's why I love so much what I do.

♪ Like a beast

♪ Like an animal

That's a good time. It's a blast.

♪ Beast mode ♪

[Deena] Where's... Nicole?

♪ Watch the money fall, watch the money fall... ♪

At least she's not stealing the strippers' money this time.

Jenni, now I know how you feel.

Those girls are sexy as [bleep].

Now you know.

Am I a l*sbian?

Yo, I can't believe this is over.

[Pauly] I know.

I can't believe I did the whole trip sober.

I know! Yo, you did a great job.

When I first started this vacation,

I didn't know how I was gonna get through each day sober

around these savages.

Yes, biiitch!

But now, I learned to party,

have fun, dance, um, being sober.

I'm very proud of myself.

[Nicole] Let's go to the strip club!

We wanna go back to the strip club.

Gotta pee!

I wanna go back to the strip club.

She's trying to go back.

[Pauly] You can come in. Oh, my God!

Pauly! You also.

You don't [bleep] lock the door.

I wanna be with the [bleep] strippers.

[coughing]

[Pauly] It doesn't lock!

Yes, there is a lock.

I lock it every time I go in there.

I know, it was the last day. You guys rallied for me.

On the boardwalk-- Let's go back!

I wanna go back to the strippers!

We wanna go back Eleven!Eleven!

I wanna go back to Eleven!

What a way to go out! [bleep] this.

Last day of vacation, we turnt the [bleep] up. Oh, my God.

I'm making a sandwich and I'm going to sleep.

It's the last two guidos in the wild.

See them.

See how they act. But don't feed them.

[laughing]

♪♪

[excited] Oh, yeah! Wake up, yeah! Last day of vacation!

Yeeeah!

After an amazing night like last night,

I still wake up with that high.

So I gotta do what I gotta do for one last time

and wake everybody up.

Oh, yeah! Wake up, yeah! Last day of vacation!

Yeah! Last day.

She's not feelin' it.

[laughing]

Oh, my God! This, I won't miss! [laughing]

Wake up, Keto Guido!

It's the last day of vacation, brew.

This mother[bleep] DJ'd last night.

He's hung over. How is he screaming right now?

[groans]

[laughing]

♪ Everybody wants what we got ♪

♪ But you can earn it for yourselves ♪

♪ 'Cause in the rice den

♪ We've never ever been ♪

♪ We come out alive and stronger than we've ever been ♪♪

Hell yeah.

This right now is called the chooch t-shirt.

You gotta be a chooch to wear it.

Bunch of goofs.

But this is our goofy family, man.

So, yeah, how do you think I did

having been in a relationship with this house?

Honestly, I think you handled it pretty well.

You made it work, you know?

Yeah, it was a little rocky sometimes.

Even though we're good,

I really don't think that relationship

is gonna work out with her.

Really?

I think I'm breaking up with her.

Swear to God.

For you.

Hah, hah, hah, hah. Well...

This relationship has been... That makes me happy because...

...so amazing. ...I'm so sick of sharing.

Just... wanna let you know...

What? ...that...

Oh, my God.

Will you be my boyfriend again?

♪♪

Yes!

Yay!

At the end of the day, I realize that me and Pauly

are just best for each other.

My true love was right under my nose the whole time.

I'm just kidding. I'm not breaking up with her.

I know.

[laughing]

Hey, sweetheart. Good morning, Mike.

How are you?

How are you? Good morning.

Good morning. How are you?

Did you have fun last night? I did. Come here.

I wanna pull Jenni aside one more time

before the vacation ends

because I want to see are we friends, or are we enemies?

In my opinion, I want to leave on a good note.

You know what I mean? Um...

I thought we were. Okay.

Well, I just wanted to clear the air, you know what I mean?

Because there was a couple of hiccups.

You know what I mean? There was a couple of... I don't consider them hiccups.

All right. All right, well I wanted to clear the air.

Yeah. 'Cause I wanted to leave this house knowing that--

I consider-- Do you fight with your sister at all?

I do. I do. That's what I felt like.

Okay. All right.

We fight because we love each other.

We're brothers and sisters.

It wouldn't be a shore house and the seven of us

if it wasn't that.

I'm facing some serious [bleep] when I get out of here.

Now, if anybody on my team, I want you to be on my team.

You know what I mean? I promise you I'm-- I'm on your team.

I think you're gonna be okay.

I think so too. But I--

I want to make sure that I still got my sister,

you know what I'm saying? Of course.

I love you. I'll see you back in Jersey.

Of course. Now we're going home to cold.

Yes. I'm kind of excited.

[Pauly] Perfect. Now, those are eggs.

Breakfast!

[Jenni] Turkey bacon.

[Mike] Ooh, you boys outdid yourselves today.

[Pauly] I made a fruit plate and I made toast and some eggs.

You guys outdid yourselves.

Oh, my God. This is our last breakfast.

[Deena] Thank you for cooking, guys.

[Pauly] Welcome. Party's here.

I'm excited to go home, but this is sad.

We k*lled it.

[Ronnie] Yo, definitely.

[Vinny] What's everyone doing next after this?

Mom mode. [Deena] Not drinking.

I'm gonna get back on keto.

[Ronnie] Yup. I don't want to see a bottle of alcohol...

[Jenni] Ugh. ...for [bleep] like three months, bro.

Back to the gym. [Nicole] Same.

Back to the gym is right. Same.

Then I'm going back on tour, but I want to see

my little one's face. Soon as I go home I want to...

[Jenni] What are you gonna do with her? I love her.

Oh, my God. Um, everything.

[Jenni]Yeah.

[Pauly] Mike, where do you go from here?

Um, I have to get by this little court situation.

And if I do, um, dude, I don't know.

I don't know what I would do, dude.

Really.

I feel like we should do this more often.

[all] Yeah.

Agree, but not for...

Not like so much that we get sick of each other again.

Long week. Four or five days. Like, yeah, let's hang out.

Let's hang out. Let's hang out, guys.

No doubt. I want to see what's going on in all you guys' lives.

Yeah.Yeah.

I'm so happy with how this vacation turned out.

No one went to jail. Everyone's happy.

We truly love each other, leaving.

Let's get the [bleep] out of here.

Yeah, buddy!

And we just proved that it doesn't matter how old you are,

you can [bleep] still rage.

[all] "Jersey Shore Family Vacation."

[Pauly] I love Miami this time of year!

♪ I feel the weight of the world ♪

♪ Pushing me down, down every day ♪

♪ And when everything is bad and gray ♪

♪ You lift me up

Oof.

Dude, we really k*lled it.

Yeah, we did. Proud of us.

That's like the best one ever. I know.

Damn! Better hit the gym when I get out of here.

[bleep]!

Whoa, I'm drunk.

This vacation like, went like that.

I'm so excited to go home to my family.

You know, I miss my kids. I miss Jionni.

I can't wait to be a mom again.

But at the same time, I'm just like,

I'm going to miss these a*s[bleep].

I love them so much.

I would like to say for one last time this summer... that...

[silly voice] the cabs are here!

[Mike] Our cabs are here!

[Nicole] Cab's here! Group hug.

I love you all. Group huggies.

Oh, this was by far the best family vacation ever.

I think I lived it up.

I think I was pretty classy for the most part,

but I still showed my meatball side.

Family vacation. Wait, where are the meatballs?

[laughter]

I am so ready to go home and make a little meatball

with my Christopher, and it's going to be amazing.

[Vinny] Smells like alcohol in this huddle.

[Nicole] Oh, it's me.

It's me, I'm sorry. I blew.

Smells like a bar.

[Ronnie, Vinny, Pauly] One, two, three.

[all] Jersey Shore O.G.s!

Best to ever do it.

This vacation turned out dope,

and I'm going home to my little girl.

But I'm worried for my boy, Ronnie.

He's going through a whole roller coaster of emotions.

One day he wants to be with his baby mama,

the next day he does not, and he has to go home to that.

So, I'm happy that Ronnie and I both live in Las Vegas,

so he can always come to me for advice,

and I will be there for him. He's my bro.

[Mike] Oh, my God, we're out of this b*tch!

[Nicole] Mike, you made it.

I know, I [bleep] made it is right.

I'm so proud of you. Thank you.

My future is a little uncertain right now.

I'm going home to a serious court case,

but my friends have my back, my family has my back,

and my beautiful fiancée is with me every step of the way.

You're my best friend.

I don't know what's gonna happen in the next couple months,

and that's a scary feeling.

I'm gonna have, like, a little Ronnie running around

with her little crazy legs, crying and screaming.

I'm gonna give it my all, and we'll be good. I know we will.

[Deena] Love you guys!

Yo, thanks for coming.

Bye, b*tches. Yo.

I'll see you in Vegas.

♪ And if the sun will set slowly ♪

♪ Taking its time for us

[Nicole] There's definitely, like, tarantulas in there.

Bye!

[Vinny] I'm sad my vacation is coming to an end,

but I'm, like, so happy that for years and years

we've been talking about getting together,

and we didn't think it was gonna happen.

It happened.

Bye, Jenni! [Jenni] Bye, guys, love you!

Call me!

[Nicole] I miss you already!

Love you, see you later! Bye!

Cool.

Honestly, I don't remember much from this vacation,

but that's how it should be.

That's when you know you had a great vacation.

I can't believe...

We out, b*tch. We're out.

We closed one book long ago, five years ago,

but now we've opening up a whole new book of, like,

old-a*s guidos on a wild-a*s adventure.

Stay tuned mother[bleep], 'cause we're not done.

[Nicole] Yeah!

[horn blaring]

"Jersey Shore Family Vacation"!

Yeah, buddy.

♪ Carry me home

♪ Home

♪ Home

♪ Home

♪ Home

♪ Home

♪ Carry me home

[Sammi's voice] I'm done with it.

[creepy music]