08x07 - Baby Making Cologne

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

- Hey, sweetie. Give him a hug.

[all shouting]

- [laughs] - sh*t.

- The trip that I planned to Cape May--

They're getting ready to charge me.

--was a success.

- That is a nice c*ck.

[laughter]

- I feel like the Wicked Witch of the West.

- Hey. [laughter]

- What the? Oh, my God!

- Cape May actually turned out to be

a really nice vacation for me.

- I wanted to extend the invite to Luna's baptism.

- Oh, definitely. I'll definitely go.

I'm in a good place right now.

. is finally out of my life.

And if I keep working on myself,

everything's going to be OK.

See you on Sunday. - Yeah.

[upbeat music]

- Yeah, buddy!

- Party's here!

- The Situation is under construction.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

- I'm still the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Yeah, I love myself ♪

♪ I say it loud and clear ♪

♪ Yeah, no negativity ♪

- Yeah.

- It is a monumental day in the Situation household--

- --the baptism of Luna Lucia Sorrentino.

- Miss Luna, are you ready to get dressed?

- ♪ Break it down, break it down ♪

♪ Switch it up, switch it up ♪

- Ohh.

Get a special dress.

I feel emotional going into this one

because I do feel like this is my last baptism.

Mike is always going to be bringing

up having a fourth child, but I'm, like, at capacity.

- Look at this princess.

She knows what's happening today.

My baby Luna looks gorgeous right now.

I'm about to be a blubbering mess.

OK, let Daddy fix.

- Can you sit?

- Third baptism, here we go.

[upbeat music]

The meatballs are coming.

Vinny's coming.

Angelina's coming.

In the Italian culture, big family events

are very, very important.

And we take those parties very, very seriously.

- Yeah, we're going to have cake.

- Some people get invited, and some people are excluded.

- Everyone's there but me.

Wow.

- It must be recognized that Angelina's

doing the right thing.

So this time, I extended my hand.

[upbeat music]

All right, guys, we are here.

- Luna Sorrentino, I baptize you in the name of the Father.

- The ceremony was flawless.

God bless my third and youngest child.

Thank you.

And off we go.

It's time to celebrate with all of our friends and family.

That was quick with the priest.

[upbeat funky music]

- ♪ Turn it up, turn it up ♪

♪ Turn it up, turn it up ♪

♪ I think they like me ♪

♪ Turn it up, turn it up ♪

- Hi.

- ♪ Turn it up, turn it up ♪

- Hello.

This is Luna's first party ever,

and we wanted to do it big for her.

[funky music]

- Oh, man.

I don't want to be that late.

[car horn honks]

- Can you go, you f*cking clown.

I'm finally invited.

♪ Hallelujah ♪

f*cking stunods everywhere.

Oh, hell, no.

I can't be late.

Yeah, peace out, bro.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, thank you. It's good to see you.

- ♪ Hey - Knock, knock.

- ♪ And I like when that sunshine ♪

♪ Sparkles off of my rings - Boo.

- Stop crying.

- He's over you.

- Hi.

- You guys look so nice. - So do you.

- Hi, sweetie.

♪ ♪

- Of course I invited James the Barber.

James.

- Yo.

- What's happening? How are you?

It's a Jersey thing.

But my barber cuts everyone's hair, including ..

- What?

- And every time I go to the barber, there is a ton of tea.

- Did she tell you, James, that they're not together right now,

or what's he saying?

- They're trying to make it work.

- It's highly likely that both Angeliners

and . are still together.

It is not a good situation.

Thank you for coming.

[funky music]

- ♪ You love how I break it down right now ♪

♪ And I'm coming with the flow right now ♪

♪ Right now, right now, right now, ooh ♪

- What you making, Jamaican?

For all y'all that say I don't cook, look at me, man.

- Once a year.

- I've been so jam-packed with my schedule.

I'm, like, looking at my schedule right now,

and it's not slowing down anytime soon.

- Yeah.

- Vegas, Vegas, Vegas. Oh, hold up.

I have an Atlantic City gig.

- You do? - Hmm.

Damn, why don't you come to that one?

- OK.

- And then maybe I'll invite, like, Mike and Laurens.

- Oh, nice.

- Nikki and Laurens have a genuine bond.

Like, they literally FaceTime each other every five seconds.

And then we could double date, and then you guys

can all come to my show. - OK.

- And I might as well tell the roommates as well,

but, like, have them come after or something.

- Book it.

- We haven't really done a double date

with Mike and Laurens, but we really want to.

Mike and I were, like, best friends.

And when Nikki and Lauren get together,

they always have a good time.

So I'm looking forward to it.

Does the knife go on the right of the fork

or the left of the fork?

- I would put the fork on the outside.

- I never went to that class.

What do they call it, etiquette?

- Uh-huh. I did.

- I know--you did? - Yeah.

- Wow. That's interesting.

- Mm-hmm.

- I love when Nikki tells me about her childhood, what it

was like for her growing up, because she

always sees my culture, the Italian culture.

But I still have a lot to learn about her culture.

They eat healthy in Jamaica?

- I mean, we have, like, ackee and saltfish.

It's so good.

I just miss the food. I miss my grandma.

She's--bro, if you ever met her, she's a beast.

- I can really see how much Nikki misses being back home.

Nikki's been talking about Jamaica every day

for the whole time I've known her.

- That's a Jamaican apple.

- Oh, that's so weird.

It looks like a plum had sex with a pear.

- [laughs]

- I feel like you need an instruction book

to eat the food out there.

- ♪ Yo, he got me thinking that ♪

- Wouldn't be my life if I wasn't late, you know?

All right, I'm here.

♪ ♪

Vin.

Hi, sweetie.

- You have single Angeliners in the building today.

- You look like the Menendez brothers.

- [laughs]

- Ooh, what is that?

- Ooh, CJ, look.

- The charcuterie board.

- I'm excited for the food.

- I want to do a marathon.

- No, it's miles.

- That would be great for you guys

to, like, connect again and have a moment.

- Honestly, if you get behind me--

- Yeah.

- I probably can run it easily, like running away from you.

- [laughs]

- You are a dickhead. - You know?

f*ck you.

- Oh, my God, I have to go.

I feel awful that I have to leave early because mommy

duties come first.

But I feel like Mike and Lauren are going

to have another baby, so I could

stay longer for the next one.

- Come on, sit.

- So he's the one that's, like, the troublemaker.

[laughs] That's so cute.

- Let's go say bye to everybody.

♪ ♪

- Of course, everyone leaves me alone with Angelina.

- Anyway, are you single?

- Yeah, I'm single.

- There's a checklist I heard about.

- What do you mean?

- There's a checklist that you needed to be checked

off for whoever you date.

- His rating system, I gotta tell you, it's low.

- What's his rating, is what I want to know?

[laughter]

- Everyone should have a checklist.

- No. - No?

- No.

Name the checklist, go.

- Physical attraction.

- OK.

- Freaky.

- She's gotta be freaky?

- I mean, someone--

- While you lay there like a f*cking hot dog in a bun?

- Lay there? Girl--

- Just lie there. - I throw it down.

- You don't throw sh*t down. sh*t down?

- I throw it-- you wouldn't know.

You wouldn't know. [laughs]

- We literally had sex, like, years ago.

I made all the moves, and you just lie there, and you came

in two seconds.

- Aw, it's like you two are on a little romantic date

right now. - You don't want to know what--

- You don't even want to know

what we're talking about right now.

- Definitely not.

both: Yeah.

[upbeat funky music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, Flo, I want to do something,

like, nice for Nikki.

I want to do something to surprise her.

I am planning something special for Nikki.

We should make it happen.

We've been together for almost five years

now, which is pretty crazy.

I mean, we've been checking off boxes in this relationship.

Yeah, yeah.

She has no idea.

But I'm thinking it's time to check off another box.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Let's have fun, tonight is our time ♪

♪ Got the day off, it's really about time ♪

♪ Woke up winning and feeling like I shine ♪

♪ No squares in my circle, not mine ♪

♪ I call up the crew and do what we do ♪

♪ Whatever we want, you know we in the mood ♪

- What's up, brother?

- When I'm in Jersey.

I'm in the city, you know, so--

- James the Barber likes to just stir the pot.

And he likes drama.

Literally, he's still cutting, who knows,

you know, somebody's hair.

And he likes to talk to him about my life.

And I don't like that.

And it goes back to Mike.

- When you're going through something,

the person you care about is supposed to bring

you through those things.

And I think he wants to do those things,

but she doesn't let him do that.

- Why is a f*cking barber getting involved

in somebody's relationship?

I see who he is. - Good seeing you.

See you soon. - Always a pleasure.

- All right.

[light music]

- Hey. - Hi.

- Cutie.

Lauren, I wanted just to say thank you for inviting me.

- Oh, yeah.

- I know there's been, like, so many ups and downs,

and you and Mike have been there for me.

I'm just, like, appreciative of being here.

I'm sorry for all the crap I've put you through.

I was not the best version of myself at all.

I would never, ever, ever go and sell

a story about your husband, ever in a million years.

- What do you think clickbait is?

Because you're selling stories.

I unfollowed you because you blocked me.

- I really don't think I even did it.

- Do you see what a dumpster fire this is?

- What did you say to him?

- What did I say to him?

- Yeah.

I'm turning over a full, like, new leaf.

Like, I'm not doing that crap no more.

- Well, thank you for the apology.

I think that Mike and I felt comfortable

to extend the invitation, because we see that you're--

you're on the path, you know, and you're trying.

- I really love hearing that from her.

And it's very nice that I got invited today.

- Ange.

Thank you so much for coming, Ange.

- Thank you.

Thank you for having me.

I love the acknowledgment that I'm getting

from all the roommates.

I don't want to be taken out of events like this anymore.

- We're happy that you're happy.

- I appreciate that.

- Keep up the good work.

- It just makes me eager to do more of the therapy

and really put more work into myself.

- All right, it's really good that you're admitting

that you were always wrong. It's great.

- Oh, my God. - No, I'm joking.

[laughs]

- I was like, wait, what?

- No, I'm joking.

- We want to ask you to officiate our wedding.

- [gasps]

We are gathered here today to witness

and celebrate Christopher--oh, sh*t, I did this already.

[crickets chirping]

Yeah, I had some wine.

- I just feel like no one's there for me, like, no one.

It's just like, it's too much.

- You can keep a secret?

- Yeah.

- Mike, I'm trusting you to keep a secret.

- Yes.

[glass dinging]

- Nikki, I have a surprise for you.

- For me? - Um--

- It's happening.

- ♪ You know I got big dollars ♪

♪ What you want, what you need? ♪

♪ Everything ♪

- Back in Jersey.

- All right, AC, we are here.

Oh, yeah.

Borgata, we are here.

Premier Nightclub, DJ Pauly D tonight.

Oh, yeah.

Nikki's here, too.

- ♪ What up? ♪

♪ I got swag in the bag ♪

♪ I know you see me ♪

♪ I dress so fly ♪

♪ I know you see me ♪

♪ I wear all these diamonds so you see me ♪

- Hello, hello.

- Yo, yo, yo. - How are you?

Good to see you, man.

That baptism looked amazing.

- It was.

It was definitely one of our nicest.

- Except I don't know how they let Vinny

in underdressed like that.

Was there a dress code?

- Yeah.

- Look at you in your little cardigan.

- Yeah.

- Did you see the article?

- Yes.

- And it questioned his attire, which was hilarious.

- But those pictures are so frameable of the baby.

- Oh, yeah.

- It looks like the picture that comes with the frame.

- She's so sweet.

- There was a little bit of a scare.

We thought number four was coming.

- Mike, come on!

- That's what I'm saying, man.

- She needs a break, bro.

Back to back to back. - No, I'm not doing it.

I'm not doing it.

- Situation family of six has a good ring.

- No.

- We're at, like, the fork in the road.

Can we handle it? I don't know.

- Yeah, no.

- In the next six months, do we say, let's have number four?

[buzzer blares]

- There is no fourth child.

- Because you want to stay in diapers.

- Oh, I can't wait to get out of diapers.

- And this year is supposed to be a break.

- Romeo out of diapers is, like, oh, my God,

I see the light.

- And we are sort of evaluating whether we keep the show going.

- No. - I don't know.

Did you see this man?

Because my godfather--

- Oh, I'm on the key card.

- Yeah, I'm happy you guys are here, man.

It's going to be dope. - Yeah.

- I got this, like, cologne shop I want to show you.

It's pretty sick.

You, like, make your own different colognes and stuff.

- All right.

- We'll leave y'all girls to it.

- ♪ Comparing me to another ♪

- With the fellas now.

- So what should we do?

- There's a bunch of stores. Yeah, of course.

- OK.

You don't got to tell me twice.

- [laughs]

- The shops are calling my name.

- What's up, what's up, what's up?

- Ooh. - Let's look in here.

- How you doing?

- Are you looking for something for your wives?

- I'm thinking about baby number four.

And, uh-- - Wow.

- You know what I'm saying?

- Wow. - So I'm thinking--

You have that potion?

Baby-making potion?

- Put it on the vein. - Oh, wow.

This is dangerous.

- This is baby number four and five.

Twins. - And I just got a cross.

- For her baptism. - Yeah.

- So cute.

- You gotta smell this.

- Whoa, be careful.

You just got that camera pregnant.

[laughter]

- Mike got me this when I had Romeo.

- Your push present? - Yeah.

- Wow, that one's potent.

- He didn't know what a push present was.

- I know. Well, now he does.

[laughter]

- Magic was just made here.

And magic's going to be made when I get back to that room.

- Hey.

- Just please don't think about me.

[laughter]

- They gonna name the baby after you.

- Hi.

- Hey, honey.

- Nikki and I just found a really cute wine bar.

You want to come down and meet us?

- We'll be right there.

- ♪ I got swag, I got swag ♪

♪ I got swag ♪

♪ Getting to my-- ♪

- Man, look what we got, man, custom perfume.

- Smell baby number four.

[laughter]

- Look at her face.

Look at us on a double date. - I know.

- I know, right? - I like it.

Because it's so crazy, we still like

to, like, do a date night at least once a week,

try to get something in. - Yeah.

- We even found, like, this Jamaican restaurant.

It's so good. We go, like, every week.

- Do you like Jamaican food?

- I like every--all foods.

- It's good.

- He doesn't discriminate.

- In Jamaica, it's way better. - Yeah.

- Ten times better.

- So my uncle is Jamaican.

- What the hell? - I didn't know this.

What the hell? - Where'd you pull this from?

- You find out new stuff every day.

- So you have family in Jamaica.

- My cousins are Jamaican, half-Jamaican.

- Some relations there, yes.

- Can't believe Laurens is part Jamaican.

- Yeah.

[laughter]

- Do you want to go to the bathroom?

- Yeah. - Real quick?

We'll be back.

- Yo, you can keep a secret?

Mike, I'm trusting you to keep a secret.

- Yes, yes.

- Should we make him his favorite dessert?

- Chocolate cake? - That was a good idea.

- You know, we're actually baking a cake for you

right now.

I told him we're making him a cake.

- Why?

- Just don't say anything right now.

- I feel you.

- Angelina goes outside.

She wants smoke with somebody.

- Who? - What do you mean?

- I really love having it, like, secret for a little bit.

- All right.

- The fam is getting bigger.

- I knew it!

- Your secret is safe with me.

- All right.

All right, I really want to do something nice for Nikki.

- OK - I got something up my sleeve.

She literally holds me down, and she puts

up with my crazy schedule. - Yes.

- All right.

So--oh, sh*t, that game was crazy.

You saw Mike Tyson?

- Yo, is that real? Is that real?

- He's fighting Jake Paul. - Is that real?

- It's real. Hi, my love.

- What are you guys talking about?

- Hi, honeys.

I'm thinking he's about to surprise Nikki with a proposal.

Amazing double date. - Yes.

- I love this. - Oh, God, it was--

- Let's do this again. - I think we should go.

- All right, guys. - Let's go.

- Let's do it.

- ♪ You're doing too much ♪

♪ That's what they say to me ♪

♪ You're doing too much ♪

♪ 'Cause I spend a mill on my jewelry ♪

- That was fun, huh, my love?

- Mm-hmm.

- I am planning something.

Tonight is going to be an unforgettable surprise.

That was a fun double date. We gotta do that more.

She has no idea.

Ahh. - [laughs]

- It's a secret between you and I.

- OK, OK. OK.

- Me and you. - What about Laurens?

I can't keep a secret--

- No, don't tell Lauren.

So, technically, right now the secret

is between me, you, and him.

- Nobody.

- He said to me, he said, you know what?

Nikki always takes care of me.

- She does.

- I want to take care of her.

- I feel like their relationship is just so strong

and in such a healthy space.

We got to see them starting as dating

and then getting serious.

So it's really cute to watch the evolvement of them.

I love them.

I want to see them together forever.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- How is Justin? Is he coming?

- He's working a double today, so he couldn't come.

- Oh, sh*t. - But, um--

- Are you guys pregnant yet?

- Unfortunately, no.

- Oh.

Wait, so I'm confused.

You do those treatments, and then you actually--

- You're supposed to get pregnant.

But I obviously have complications.

I got surgery a few weeks ago.

- Oh, my God.

- And then we're doing another--

- Another round. - Round.

- OK.

- So, like, soon.

There's only a few weeks left until my embryo transfer,

and I haven't started my protocol yet.

So I can't wait to just have a great time tonight.

It's been a process.

- You're holding yourself together well.

You could never tell.

- I try, because I can't think about it.

It's a hard thing, but-- - It'll happen.

- If you do decide--

- To have kids.

- If you date somebody maybe older or whatever.

- You're not telling me to get with a young gal, are you?

- I'm just saying.

- Sam, this is what I've been trying to tell everybody.

- No, no.

- And they look at me like I'm crazy.

- ♪ If want to go get it ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

- Here, I'll come out here for you.

- Thank you.

I am super excited for Pauly's show and dinner.

It's Halloween, so I'm going all out.

Checking in under Farley, please.

- All right, ready?

- Just checking in today?

- Yeah, a friend is DJing tonight, so--

oh, there he is.

- Here's the key to your suite.

- He's even on a hotel key.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Go to get lunch with us today?

You're going to see Aunt Nicole.

Fancy. - Hi.

- Hi!

- You look beautiful.

Hi, munchkin.

Oh, don't start that now.

- Oh, yeah.

He's in a little bit of a mood.

- Oh.

- My friend Chris asked if we could do lunch

today with Matty, his fiancé.

We met Chris back in, like, doing a Meatball Day.

And he just loves us meatballs.

- Yeah, he does.

And if you would have told me years ago that I was going

to find one of my best friends for life,

I wouldn't have believed you, because we were hot-a*s messes.

- Hi.

How are you?

- Presents?

- Nice to see you.

- [whining]

- He's ready for nap time.

- Yeah, nappy time.

- Mommy.

- Mommy life.

- Cam, do you want something?

Cameron's sleeping.

- Nap time.

- That's good.

- So with, like, the wedding coming up,

you obviously start thinking of who's important in your life

and, like, your close friends.

And we have a little something for you.

So--

- What is this?

Chris and Matty have been waiting

to get married for years.

So the fact it's happening, it's full circle.

- Ba, ba, ba, bum, I feel like drumroll.

So we want to ask you to officiate our wedding.

- [gasps]

- You need to marry us.

- Oh.

- Oh, my God, she's done that before.

The one marriage that I did officiate was my g*y friends.

So, like, I feel like I'm only just

going to marry my g*y friends.

I'm, like, a priest.

- You're basically the g*y pope.

[ethereal music]

- So you, my dear, we have been friends for years.

And I couldn't imagine my special day without you

standing next to me.

So will you be my groomsmaid?

- I've never been a groomsmaid before.

- Oh, how cute.

- First time.

- Yes, I accept.

Cheers to your wedding.

- What an honor.

- I know. I'm so excited.

- ♪ I'm the one they watching, yeah they study ♪

♪ I'm the prototype, never duplicated ♪

♪ One, one, and no one like ♪

- Let's go.

- Hey, Sam. - There you are.

How are you?

- Hi, Vinny.

- Hey. - What's up, man?

- What's up, dude?

How you doing?

- Ooh, fancy.

- [knocking]

- Hello?

- Yo.

- Anybody order a DJ?

- Hi. - Look at this guy.

- Nice to meet you. - How you living?

It's been a long time. - Long time, no see.

Look at you. - I know, I know.

- You look good.

- All right, honey, let's go for dinner.

- You guys hungry?

- Yeah.

- Let's head down to dinner.

- Hello.

- Wait, let me dip you.

- [laughs]

- ♪ Every move I make now is major ♪

- What's up?

How you doing?

I have a big surprise I'm going to reveal at this dinner.

I want it to be perfect.

- Oh, this is a fancy restaurant.

- I cannot wait to have a c*ck, minus the tail.

- ♪ Yes, I'm the realest ♪

♪ And I'm deep in the flow ♪

♪ Can you feel it? ♪

- A little sourdough pizza.

- It's good.

Where's Angelina?

- I should call her and ask.

- Yeah. - Hello?

- Hey, girl.

Where are you?

- I'm driving to you guys.

- Oh, yay. You're coming?

- I am.

I'm, like, minutes away still.

- Yes, yes. - Oh, OK.

Are you with anybody?

- With Peanut.

- Oh, Peanut.

All right, honey.

- I'll see you soon.

- OK, bye. - All right, bye.

- Was . with her?

- She just said Peanut.

- As of right now, what I have is that they have broken up.

He has moved out. - Isn't it funny?

Mike gets his hair cut every day,

and every day is a different update.

- Every day is a different--

- We need to put a camera in that barbershop.

Who do I gotta talk to in control?

[laughter]

[glass dinging]

- Guys, Nikki, I have a surprise for you.

- For me?

- Yes.

- It's happening.

- I always knew this day would come, as a side piece.

- You have been awesome throughout

my whole entire career, life.

Everything has been so, like, amazing.

- Y'all are taking it to the next level,

and I am here for it.

- Um--

- ♪ I'm feeling good, ♪

♪ So, so good ♪

♪ I'm feeling good ♪

[glass dinging]

- I have a surprise for you.

- For me?

- Yes.

- Wait, what's happening?

- You have been awesome throughout

my whole entire career, life.

Everything has been so, like, amazing.

You see where I came from.

And I want to see where you came from.

I want to take you to Jamaica.

- Oh!

[together] Oh!

- What do you say?

- Let's go.

[together] Yeah!

This trip is much needed for Nikki.

She always gives me these little hints

about all these places that she used to go to growing up.

And she wants to show me her life, her friends, her family.

- Nice.

- I can't wait. I've never been.

- We can't go? - Have fun.

- Naw, no, no.

- You deserve it.

- This is definitely not what was expected.

But this is big right here, because usually,

Pauly's pretty reserved.

And sometimes relationships move at their own pace.

So it's really good to see him take these steps

in their relationship.

- I'm going to cry.

- This is, like, such a wholesome moment,

and I almost feel like I don't deserve

to be watching this right now.

- We can go to Jamaica, Queens.

- Shut up.

- Side piece energy.

- At first, when I was a side piece,

it was just like, ha-ha.

But now it's, like, trips to Jamaica.

I've been to Jamaica, but never, like, with Pauly

being courted and wined and dined like the true, you know,

side piece that I am.

It is crossing a line a little bit.

- Actually, girls--

[all shouting]

Actually, guys, we're all going to Jamaica!

[all shouting]

- BDS has got his passport back,

and we are going to the islands, baby.

Let's go!

- We're going to Jamaica!

- We're going to Jamaica. - We're going to Jamaica.

That's lit.

This is such a huge deal.

We haven't been out of the country since Italy.

Mike got his passport back, finally.

And I've never been to Jamaica.

- Hell, yeah.

Pon de River, baby.

Let's go.

- I'm so sorry. - [laughs]

- How old were you when you left Jamaica?

- . - Oh, really?

- Yeah.

- So this is--this is, like, really exciting.

We're really going back to your roots.

- I'm excited.

- Nikki probably misses her homeland and her culture.

And I'm just so excited to be able to witness all that.

This is going to be the trip of a lifetime.

- We'll see you guys at the show.

You coming?

- I gotta train tomorrow for the marathon, so--

- Of course he does.

- But you all have fun.

- All right, we'll see you guys--

- All right. We'll see you later.

- I'm just really happy how happy Nikki is right now.

And I can't wait to spend time with Nikki in her hometown.

Going to Jamaica!

See you guys at the club.

[upbeat funky music]

- ♪ Watch me shake a little something ♪

♪ Little something now ♪

- Ten hours late.

Peanut, look, this is where we're staying.

I'm running really late tonight because Peanut's

just not feeling well.

Wee-wee pads for days.

Since me and the roommates are in a really good place,

I didn't want to miss this trip for anything.

But I kind of got some bad news, like,

a day prior to this trip.

She's OK, but I want to make sure I keep an eye on her.

Good girl.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Now that I found you ♪

♪ Now that I found you ♪

I am loving this because Pauly's gig tonight is actually

Halloween weekend, and we're all going

to dress up and have a blast.

- Wow.

- Tonight I am being Delores, Beetlejuice's ex-wife.

- This is, like, too realistic.

- Zack is being American Psycho,

because that's what Vinny's been calling

him for the past six years.

- is like, has his hand wrapped around her throat.

- It reminds me of "American Psycho."

- And it actually fits his personality rather well.

- Oh, my God, I can't.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I am dressed up as myself.

My costume is a tribute to Italy.

And I am really dressed to the nines as myself.

- I gotta get ready for Halloween.

I don't know.

That's a little too--

- Ew, Chris, my ex-husband.

This is crazy.

I found out from one of my friends

that they saw my ex-husband in Atlantic City.

And I'm like, so he's here.

[line trilling]

I mean, Chris loves Peanut, and she's

not doing well, so why not?

Let me give him a call.

Shouldn't really do that, but I don't care.

♪ ♪

[upbeat funky music]

♪ ♪

- I got to get ready for Halloween-y.

Ew, Chris, my ex-husband.

Me and Chris, I mean, we've been through a lot

of f*cked-up sh*t.

- Chris, you may kiss your bride.

- Chris moved out?

- Almost three weeks ago now.

- Stop it. Mm-mm.

- It's like you're both going to work at it and commit to it,

or you leave.

- But I am over everything now, so let's give him a call.

- Who the f*ck is this?

- Your mama.

[dial tone droning]

- Wait.

This as*h*le.

- Your call has been forwarded to--

- Oh, hell to the m*therf*cking no.

No, I'm pissed.

It hurts that Chris won't talk to me.

What a d*ck. - Hey, girl, are you here?

- I'm here.

I'm in my room with Pee-Pee.

- Do you want me to stop by real quick?

- If you want, sure.

♪ ♪

[knock at door]

You ever see "Beetlejuice"?

- Oh, sh*t, you actually did your makeup and everything.

Who did that? - Me.

Come in.

By the way, I just called Chris, my ex-husband.

- Oh, my God.

- I heard that he was here, and then he hung up on me, eh.

- Can I just back up a little bit?

Are you, like, with Vinny, not with Vinny?

- Um, not really.

I mean, he really is not nice to me.

He said, I hope you f*cking die.

- That's unacceptable.

- I'm like, you don't f*cking say that.

- It's insecurity. - Mm-hmm.

- Very immature. - Mm-hmm.

- Back to Chris.

- Well, what prompted me to call

was that I heard that he was here.

So I mean--

- You could have ignored that.

- Well, yeah, I could have.

But we never got, like, closure.

And I have no animosity towards him.

- I do empathize with her.

Her dog is clearly going through something horrendous.

Like, she just needs someone right now.

And Vinny . sure as hell isn't giving it to her.

- I mean, you could always throw a text, you know?

- You want me to text him?

- But at the same time, I'm so worried about her.

Like, I don't want her to spiral.

Wow, tonight's going to get f*cking weird.

- It is what it is, people.

[upbeat funky music]

- ♪ We got each other, we're one ♪

♪ Pick me up, and I'm done ♪

- Hi.

- Oh, yes, yes, yes.

- What the hell?

What are you?

- I'm sick of these b*tches.

- Who?

- Everybody.

Yeah.

- You look so good.

[laughter]

- Everyone looks f*cking top-tier.

I actually love that Vinny went home, because he probably

wouldn't have dressed up.

- I have the most impressive costume.

I am the Invisible Man.

- Has anybody seen my catheter?

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Easy come and easy go ♪

- Hey, guys.

Whoo!

- Hey.

- What are you?

Strawberry Shortcake? - You ready?

Let's go.

♪ ♪

- Atlantic City, are you ready for Pauly D?

[cheers and applause]

- Nice!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Oh, my God.

I'm excited and so happy.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Ow ♪

- ♪ Living my best life /, yeah ♪

♪ All the pressure is applied ♪

♪ You should feel threatened ♪

[somber music]

- She's drinking.

[sniffles]

♪ ♪

I kind of got, like, some really bad news.

Now watch.

Here we go.

OK, good girl.

Oh, sh*t, OK, OK.

All right.

I found out Peanut's in kidney failure.

I put some, um, stuff in her water that gives her,

like, electrolytes and stuff.

So it looks a little orange.

My vet said we should euthanize her,

but if you want to take a few more days to spend

time with her on her last days on Earth, you can do that, too.

So I chose to do that because Peanut's

been my best friend for years.

This dog has been in my life forever.

And honestly, like,

I just feel like no one's there for me,

like, no one.

I'm not ready to let Peanut go yet,

because she's, like, my real friend,

and she's been through everything with me.

It's just-- [sniffles]

it's just like, it's too much.

♪ ♪

- ♪ I want, want, want what I want ♪

♪ And it's you, you, you that I want ♪

♪ I want, want, want what I want ♪

- See you in there.

My husband's pretty sexy.

- It is Chris and Matty's wedding day.

I'm so excited.

Everybody just looks stunning.

It's going to be a great, great day.

- You ready?

- Yeah, we're ready.

You got this, Nicole.

- I am so excited to officiate.

I'm just nervous about saying the right words.

This is their moment, and I can't f*ck it up.

Dee, I should have brought my glasses.

- Oh, God, you don't have your glasses?

- I'll go like this.

- Her eyeglasses.

- This is going to be a sh*t show, to say the least.

All right, it's happening, guys, so

make sure you get your seats.

[gentle guitar music]

- ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Now I'm all in ♪

♪ I don't gotta wonder if I'm falling ♪

♪ Cupid shot the arrow ♪

♪ Got my-- ♪

- ♪ And it was you ♪

- I'm feeling all the emotions.

I just want to make sure this is perfect for the boys.

Welcome to family and friends.

My name is Nicole Snooki, but I met Christopher

so long ago at Jenk's.

And he basically saved my life.

I almost got arrested. - Same.

- Like before. Yeah, me and Deena--

- Same.

- So I'm so excited that you invited me to marry you guys.

I love you guys.

You guys are amazing.

[all cheering]

- Yes.

I am k*lling it, making it, like,

Snooki-ish with, like, party's here and everything.

Round of applause for all of you.

[cheers and applause]

And I feel like I'm the best.

We are gathered here today to witness

and celebrate the marriage of Christopher and Matthew.

- Love it.

- All right, so now it's the rings, I feel.

- Yeah, oh, the rings.

- Yeah, the rings, please.

The rings.

- So you're going to go first.

- No, it's me.

- Yeah, I had some wine before.

OK, we're good.

Let's do the exchange.

A ring is an unbroken sunk--sunk, oh, stop.

A ring is an unbroken cycle.

Christopher--oh, sh*t.

I did this already.

- Throw a little cursing in there.

It's all right. No big deal.

- All right. Well, we did that.

We did that. Yes, love you.

- They wanted Nicole.

They got Nicole.

- Oh, we messed up, guys. - OK.

- I missed, like, a whole freaking part.

Should we do it again? - Yeah, do it again.

- Yeah, let's do it again.

- Keep going.

- Oh, my God, like, I ruined their wedding.

I ruined it.

OK, before these witnesses, and by the authority vested in me

by the great state of New Jersey,

I now pronounce you husband and husband.

[cheers and applause]

But as long as they're happy, I'm fine.

[together] Party's here!

[cheers and applause]

- I missed a whole two paragraphs.

- It's all right. You did good.

- Good job, good job.

- I totally forgot the whole thing.

I think it worked out. - Nailed it.

Perfect. - You think it worked out?

- You're perfect.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

So I know that I need to put her down soon.

It's just sad, you know?

All right, let's go, guys.

And I just wanted to, like, have my fair goodbyes with her.

And I wanted to do a photo sh**t with her,

because Peanut loves nature.

So I just want to make her feel good and comfortable.

And I want to have these memories of Peanut forever,

because I don't want her--

I don't want her legacy to die.

Hi, my daughter.

- So let's we-- you know, a nice last

day for her and something you're going

to remember her by, right?

- Yes.

I feel so terrible.

She's my daughter.

♪ ♪

I'm just so heartbroken, but I'm

trying to put on a brave face right now because I want

these memories, and I want her to know,

like, her last moments on Earth were with nature.

And, like, I just want to just let her know how loved she is.

[upbeat music]

My dog, Peanut.

Oh, Peanut's, like, my little best friend.

I love that dog so much.

She's the love of my life that's

been with me through everything,

every broken engagement, every bad, dark day in my life.

All right, Pee, should I go, or should I not go?

[dog barks]

- Well, why are you mad?

I said I might not go.

[dog growls]

- I will tell you, she watches everything in this house.

She is your real-life angel.

- Oh.

You're a good girl.

Yay!

[upbeat music]

- DJ, hit that music!

- ♪ We're sipping on the coco ♪

♪ We're getting loco ♪

♪ ♪

♪ We're sipping on the coco ♪

- I don't have any.

- Yay!

- OK, shot.

Shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot.

- You did a great job tonight.

- Thank you.

I'm so relieved that the ceremony is done.

Like, party's here, b*tches.

We're all having a great time.

And then all of a sudden, I see Angelina's story

on social media.

I'm just like, oh, my God.

I think Peanut's passing.

- Is she?

Wait, what?

- This just happened minutes ago.

"I will love you forever, my daughter, my rock, my best

"friend, the entire universe.

I will miss you more."

Oh, she's not going to be OK, b*tch.

"Please watch over me"--

- No, that's her daughter, like, legit.

- "And me by my side as I try to navigate

"through life without you.

"Peanut, you brought love into my life.

"I am forever thankful for you.

"I know I will see you again.

Until then, have the best time in heaven."

- Oh, my God.

- "Forever my daughter, forever my lifetime.

"I won't ever be the same without you by my side.

Rest in peace, sweet Peanut."

- Why don't we just--why don't you

try calling her and see if she--

we'll just see if she's OK?

Out of everything in Ange's life,

Peanut was her constant, her rock, her everything.

So the fact that Peanut passed away just

breaks my heart for Ange.

So I just hope she's going to be all right.

- Hello?

- Hey.

- Ange, it's me and Deena.

- Hey.

- Are you OK? - Are you all right?

- We just, we just saw your story, honey.

- No, I'm not OK.

- I am so sorry.

- Angelina, listen, listen.

You did the best for Peanut.

I know it's so hard.

- You gave her such an amazing, amazing life.

You really did.

- Thank you.

I just feel so bad.

- I know. - This is so hard.

- I know. - I know.

It's not easy losing a pet, Ange.

- She's my best friend.

Like, this is the dog I've had for so long.

And she's my best friend.

- I know.

- Are you with anybody?

- All right, good.

I'm just happy you're not alone.

- There are people that should have

been here that aren't here.

And those are the people that I'll never forget

what they did at this time.

Those are the type of people that

I got to keep out of my life.

- She has to be talking about Vinny ..

. should have been there for Angelina

because Ange definitely needs a shoulder

to cry on at this point.

We saw your post, and right away, we needed to just call

you and make sure you were OK.

- I appreciate it.

Just have fun, OK? - All right.

We love you.

- Just know that she's at peace now and not suffering.

And she loved you.

- Thank you, guys.

I love you. - Bye.

I love you. - Bye.

[sniffs]

- Oh, she's not going to be all right.

- ♪ Without you ♪

- Thank you, Peanut, my ride-or-die till the end.

- ♪ I don't know how to live without you ♪

- I never thought I would get the opportunity

to sell my movie, let alone have a premiere for it.

- Yeah, I don't think Ange is going to make it.

- Jamaica, we made it.

- Have you ever been to Jamaica?

- No. - I was born and raised here.

- You were born--oh, my God.

- I don't know who's more excited, me or Nikki.

- All right, come on.

You act like you've never been to Jamaica before.