02x08 - Back to Seaside

[bunniefuu]

Oh, [bleep]!

Well, let's put that behind us and let's put these TVs outside.

Walking into this house, it became real,

all the bad memories that happened here.

We're there doing the heavy lifting for him.

Operation Build a Baby Room complete.

I just left shopping with Angeliners.

She really wants to talk to you.

Oh, God!

It's time for you guys to actually squash this once and for all.

Oh, yeah! Boys' night, yeah!

What just happened just now?

Laurens, I see nothing! Save me!

♪♪

Yeah, buddy!

Party's here!

The Situation is under construction.

This might not have been the best idea.

We're so classy now!

On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

Get the frig outta here, you crazy!

♪♪

♪ Work it, baby, work it all night ♪

♪♪

[sighs]

Yo, what happened last night?

Yo, you know you had a good night

when the alcohol bottle's by your nightstand.

[sighs]

[blows raspberry]

Whoa! My head's pounding today.

I think it's the alcohol. [Vinny] Yeah.

I'm gonna need a little help

just to piece together exactly what happened last night.

That's what I always wanted to do when we was in Vegas.

I know.

Haven't been able to turn up since you got here,

'cause your beard is all out of whack.

[laughs]

Thotchella just seems like a really good dream last night.

But it actually happened.

It was like the ultimate way to end guys' weekend.

So funny, it's like the girls were never here. Isn't that wild?

The girls are fun when they're out with us, but...

Yeah....it's like a different energy

when it's just the guys, you know?Mm-hmm.

I missed the girls last night.Yeah?

Yeah.

No, I'm kidding. [laughs]

[laughter]

Me and Laurens have a full disclosure,

full transparencies relationship,

and I just want to let her know

things got a little weird last night.

But I still protected my queen's honor.

[Lauren on phone] Hello? Hey, honeys.

Hi, baby. What are you doings?

I just actually met with a florist for the wedding.

Okay, yeah, I think that's great that, you know,

you're doing a couple things while I'm away.

Um, but there's one thing that I had to tell you about.

It was a little bit of a wild situation last night, honeys.

Um... Um...

full transparencies with you. [Lauren laughs]

And I wanted to just let you know

that I was at Top Man's last night.

Um, there was a sea of girls everywhere.

And they brought the girls back to the hotel room.

Mike, yo, these girls are hungry.

They were getting naked.

What?

Um, you know, it was craziness, honey.

That's disgusting.

I'm looking at flowers for our wedding

and you're telling me it was Thotchella

of naked girls in the hotel room.

Honey, it was the last night.

It was boys' night, boys' weekend.

All right, I'm kind of over the Vegas trip. Honey...

It's time to come home and, like, plan the wedding.

What is happening right now?

Okay, I % agree with you. Let's just...

Let's breathe right now. It's...

Yeah. We'll talk about that when you get home.

It's ridiculous.

I know, honeys, but I... You...

[dial tone]

I'm not positive, but I believe she's pretty pissed and upset.

What a trip it was, fellas. What a trip.

Yep.

Yeah, so it's our last day in Las Vegas.

Vinny and Mike are leaving.

I think Vinny and I will be okay.

We got to keep in contact.

That's what it's all about-- communication.

You have a peculiar way of packing, I gotta tell you.

Well, I did my best, Pauly.

Work smarter, not harder.[sighs]

[Vinny] The guy has never commented on the way I pack before.

All of a sudden, he has a ring on his finger

and he wants to nag and b*tch and moan at me.

Can you stop watching me? I just feel like going...

You're gonna learn some things today.

Hopefully we're just hitting a rough patch right now.

Yeah, we're actually really... We're actually not doing too good today.

Yeah. We're gonna go work this out.

Mm-hmm. And, uh...

Maybe we'll go to "brommitment" therapy.Yeah.

Seriously, you're, like,

already coming and complaining about me?

I'm not complaining.

Just let me know. I'll do the packing.

Oh, I know you can pack. Mm-hmm.

Laurens is gonna be so proud

I packed by myself. Yo, let's go.

[Pauly D] Always bittersweet when these vacations come to an end.

This trip wasn't exactly what I planned,

but it actually turned out to be amazing.

Like, it started off rocky, but you know what?

It was a perfect time to help out Ronnie

and then end this vacation with a bang with the boys.

Good-bye, beautiful suite. Roll out.

It's time to go mobile. Bye, suite.

Oh, man, moments like this make you realize and remember

that we've been through so much stuff together, ups and downs.

We've seen each other at our best moments

and we've seen each other at our worst moments.

It's definitely good to have the guys around,

you know, to help me keep my mind off things.

Just the fact that they're here and they want to be here,

you know, it means a lot to me.

You know, it shows that we are real brothers.

Yo. Yo.

Be careful, bro. Good luck. Later, bro.

All right, I'll see you.

[Vinny] I'm a little concerned leaving Ron.

You know, it's something that doesn't happen overnight,

where someone just becomes magically better,

but we did our best, setting him up with the tools

that he needed to, you know, succeed.

He has a lawyer now, so he has a good support system

around him, so we can just hope for the best.

[Ronnie] See you guys soon. Let's try to chill for our birthday...

for your birthdays and [bleep]. Yo, that'll be dope.

You got AC coming up. Yeah, that'll be real dope.

All right, Mike, you're with me. Come on.

All right.

Ooh, yaass.

Do you think we have time to stop at a drive-thru?

Oh, what am I gonna do with you?

"Staycation" over.Mm-hmm.

You want to drive? Yeah, I'll drive.

[Ronnie] What's next for me is that, you know,

I'm gonna go spend time with my daughter

and taking the next steps to get all my ducks in a row.

I have to become a better me, you know, for myself,

for the baby, and for my future.

♪♪

Nicole has been asking me for a while to meet with Angelina,

so I'm here, I'ma meet her,

and I'm gonna hash it out.

I'm very nervous.

The last time I saw Jenni, she put me in a headlock.

[Mike] Jenni! Aah!

Jenni, Jenni, no!

[all exclaiming]

Is Jenni gonna want to fight me? Is she gonna be cool with me?

Like, there are so many things

that could go wrong at this lunch right now.

Hey.

We should go back to the Shore. I don't know what you guys are waiting for.

Ten years later. [Snooki] I would love that.

Yo, that would be epic. Summer!

[Snooki] Party's here!

Wait, it looks the same. I can't.

[Pauly D] To back where it all started.

Yaass! Yeah, buddy!

Seaside!

Oh, yeah! Seaside, yeah!

♪♪

It's very clear to me that you guys

have a lot of years together and I don't.

I don't want to keep hearing it, though.

I feel like every single day,

I'm trying to make you guys like me,

but why should I keep have-- you know, making you guys like me?

Like, I am who I am. Like...

How do you think I felt in Miami

when you literally showed up and we had no idea?

I said that. I was like, how are the girls gonna be?

And they were like, they're gonna be fine. I'm like, yeah, sure.

Yeah, but they also don't understand

that we've had our problems prior to Miami.

Which I understand. I'm mature enough to admit that when I'm wrong or whatever.

Okay, that's fair. That's fair.

I get that. I totally get that.

I'm sorry about putting it on social media,

'cause that's, like, the...

That's actually what you said

you were no longer going to do.

If you guys want to get to know me for who I am,

outside the other crap, I would like that, you know what I mean?

It's hard to trust you... and your intentions.

I also think you try too hard.

You should just be you instead of trying to be

some version of you that you want people to see.

Are you capable of being you?

Yes. [laughs] Just chill.

I could try to dial it back a notch.

Sometimes it'll slip. I can't be perfect.

And I'll take a couple bricks down off my wall.

Thank God.

And allow you to get to know me as well.

[Angelina] I've changed a lot.

I just want Jenni to move past all the stuff that happened,

and I just want her to get to know the real Angelina.

I want to hug it out with you. I'll come over to you.

Not yet. Why?

I'm kidding. What the [bleep]?!

Really, I am introverted and weird

and I don't like hugs.

Now you just got one from me.

It's going on nine years, Angelina and I

are squashing it again, so I'll see you

at the next adventure and vacation,

'cause I'm sure you'll show up uninvited.

You didn't even eat. I know.

I'm like... My stomach.

Where are you going?

Oh, wait, where am I going?

[Angelina belches] Oh, my God.

[laughs]

♪♪

[door opens]

Big Daddy Sitch is home.

You're here! Hey, honeys.

[Lauren] You made it.

I missed youse. I missed you, too.

Come heres. Come to Big Daddy Sitches.

Mmm! I love youse.

I love you, too. Mmm! How's Moses?

He's good. He's waiting for you. He brought you a toy.

[Mike] Aww!

He's so excited you're home.

I'm exhausted, honeys. Um...

What happened over here?

I know.I know. What happened?

You've got a little roundness here. Hmm.

Big Daddy Sitch really went in on the buffets in Vegas.

I don't know how I can hide this.

So, what happened out there? You were doing good.

I know. Honey, it was a vacation

and I was living my best life

and Vinny really wasn't doing much.

Can I get a side Caesar salad?

Careful, Mike, those Caesars have a lot of sugar in 'em.

I'm gonna do the Firefly Fries, fried galamad, roasted pork.

Mike, that's it for now.

He wasn't keeping me accountable.

I'm blaming it all on the keto guido, honey.

Stop. All right, it was all me.

Yeah. It was all me.

All right, well, let's see

what kind of damage you did with the LBs.

The wifey is definitely being a little hard on me right now.

Come over here. You need to get on it.

You need to see what the facts of the matter are.

But you know what? The thing is,

Big Daddy Sitch holds his weight real well.

I'll subtract five pounds for the clothes.

Yeah, exactly. I will.

These clothes are extra heavy. Let's just say--

Mike. All right, all right, all right.

We got a situation.

Goodness "graciouses." Ooh!

Might have a malfunction down there.

[Lauren laughs]

[woman] Oh, look what's on.

[door opens]

Hello!

[Nino] Oh, Vinny's home! [laughs]

[Vinny] Hey! Vinny boy! What's up, baby?

What are you guys doing here?

Hi. Oh, Vin.

What, are you guys on vacation now?

I didn't even tell them to housesit.

They just randomly show up all the time,

and probably Nino eats my food.

Watching the house for me? Vin.

Are you watching him watch the house? I'm watching...

You see where I was sitting? Where he goes, I go.

She got a little p*ssy cup.

That's my cat cup.

Don't break it. That was a gift.

And don't spill the wine on the rug.

No, no, never.

Vin, you look skinny. Skinny is good.

No, no, too skinny, Vin. Thin is in.

Look, all your bones. Look at your bones.

I've had that since I was little. How'd you do in Vegas?

You do any gambling? What'd you do?

Ma, I have to tell you something.

Let him talk. I'm sorry.

I have to tell you something. Don't freak out.

Okay. I don't freak out. All right?

When I was there, I got married. You got what?

I got married.

To who?Me and Pauly got married.

[laughs] We had a brommitment ceremony.

Like commitment, brommitment, see?

That's like a friendship thing? Like a friendship thing?

Like we're bro-- Like we're a bromance.

Did you go on a honeymoon? Uh, no, that's next.

After the wedding, the chapel,

you go to the honeymoon... The honeymoon suite, yeah.

And then, next stop is the divorce, the lawyers.

Uncle Nino has been married, like, four times,

so I don't think there's, like, anybody worse

to get relationship advice from.

[Vinny] If I brought Pauly home and said we're together,

what would you do?

[Paula] I'd go register you at Bed Bath & Beyond.

Yeah, man, it's good to be back in that workout routine, man.

Yeah, man. About that GTL life.

♪♪

Yeah, buddy! You rocked that, bro.

Vegas vacation with the roommates,

it was like Sunday dinner every single night.

No more Italian food.

So, we're taking a break

from the heavy Italian meals for a while.

Been spending time with the baby since you got back?

Saw her for Father's Day.

First Father's Day.Yeah.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Everyone's texting me, "Happy Father's Day" and...

Yeah. Mm-hmm. You know?

It was like, it was crazy.

I remember mine five years ago.

Five years. It goes by like this.

For me, my relationship with my daughter

is the most important thing in my life.

They always say, like, oh, they grow up so fast.

No, they grow up so fast. It's so true, they grow so fast.

And I want to see that for Ronnie.

Things been good, though, with Baby Mom?

Better? Getting better, at least?

Yeah, things are good with Jen.

The whole lawyer thing kind of...

It just made everything more clear.

You know, me and Jen were even talking

and we're like, the baby's number one.

The baby's number one. Yeah, exactly. Me and Jen forgot that.

Nah, that's good, man. You seem at peace, though, a lot more.

Yeah.

So, single Ronnie or no single Ronnie?

Nah, no single Ronnie right now.

[laughs] Okay.

I'm in the... I'm a single dad. Single dad, all right.

Single dad, but, yeah, no, you know, we'll see. That's a new one.

Every day is different.

Here we go again. I can't even believe

he's still talking to this woman.

She's toxic. I-I don't know.

You know, me and Jen were even talking

and we were like, we don't want her to feel bad

that she's in the middle of this.

It's just like, she doesn't know what's going on.

Yep. It's 'cause we gotta get ourselves together

and that's what I'm doing, you know?

Chooch!

[laughs] You're such a d*ck.

I want to support Ronnie, but this is crazy.

Oh, my God!

I do not think Ron and Jen should ever get back together.

Single Ronnie. [clears throat] Sorry.

There's something in my throat. You heard that?

I think it's the tomatoes that you ate.

[Pauly D] Single Ronnie! Just kidding.

[Ronnie laughs]

♪♪

Hey! Oh, look.

Everyone's looking at us 'cause we're in a limo.

Yes, it's Beyoncé.

Deena's been home this entire time,

so me and Jenni want to get a limo for Deena,

spoil her, like, take her out to a nice Italian restaurant

and then we walk in and the boys are there.

We're getting Deener for dinner.

We're getting Deener for dinner.

I hope she's gonna be surprised.

She's gonna be surprised.

I think she's gonna love the limo,

but she thinks, like, this is it.

Yeah. But nope.

Like a decent dinner. Surprise, boys.

We're gonna make it look like, you know,

a baby pregnancy night out, but the boys are actually

gonna be the legit surprise.

[knocking]

Hi! Hi, Deener. Deener!

To Deener and Chris!

Look. Ooh!

I am so excited they called to do a girls' night.

I know they were in Vegas and I wasn't a part of it,

and I don't want them to forget about me,

so I'm, like, really happy.

[all cheering]

Would you like your sparkling cider, ma'am?

Thank you.

Deena's so excited right now

and I'm like, b*tch, you don't even know yet.

She's gonna be so happy.

Cheers to girls' night in. [both] Girls' night.

That's what I'm saying. This is full keto.

My man! That looks good.

This food right here is fantastic.

Yep. This is full keto right here.

This is Jersey right here, baby.

Have any of you guys seen Deena, though?

Like, is she, like, is she showing or anything?

No, no. I haven't seen her in a minute.

Last time I seen her was on FaceTime

when we was in the house. Yep.

Well, she's gonna be happy to see us, 'cause she

probably felt, like, a little, like, left out.

Oh, yeah, of course. FOMO was real.

Yeah.

[JWoww] Yay! [Snooki] Oh, we're here.

I'm starving. Let's take the bottle in with us.

Yeah. Cuda. Give her more.

Jenni's wasted.

Can you brush your hair before we walk in? Why?

What do I look like? I feel like this is a classy place.

What are you doing? That was mine.

Can't get a pepper? Mm-mm.

[Deena] Ooh, I'm so excited.

Okay, we're here.

[men] Hey!

Surprise! Oh, yeah!

What's up, Deena?

Yay! This is the most thoughtful and best surprise ever

because I miss my family so much.

Now I'm with everyone, besides Ron, because I know

he's going through his own thing in Vegas,

but I'm happy everybody else is here.

She's not drinking, so I'll take her drink.

These meatballs... [JWoww] Phenomenal.

Phenomenal meatballs. Want to try it?

Why don't you like meatballs, meatball?

I'm having a problem getting meat down.

[Snooki] That's what she said. That's what he said.

[laughter]

I walked right into that one.

Didn't you miss us, Dee?

[Vinny] No, right? No, no.

Deeners, tell us about the babies.

Do you guys want to see a picture of the sonogram?

Nah, I'm all right. Are you guys good? I'm good, I'm good.

Oh, my God!

Yaass! Let's see the meatball.

We want to see the little meatball.

[Snooki whining]

Aw! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

I'm so happy that me and Chris

finally have a little meatball cooking in my oven

and it's gonna be the cutest little, most probably annoying thing,

'cause me and Chris are both scooches.

We love you, Dee. [JWoww] So, how is Ron?

Are him and Jen back together?

I caught up with him a couple days ago.

I was like, drumroll. I was like, so what is your status?

Are you with her or not? And he's like, well, I'm not single.

He's back with her? He's back with her?

How do you know? He said it?

I was just there.

He told you he was back with her?

[Pauly D] He said he's not single.

But we all know they're gonna be on and off,

but like I said, you know, the best thing to come out of this is they're seeing a lawyer.

I always say, like, sometimes you have your girlfriends where,

like, you give advice and they still stay with the guy

and you're like, no, this is gonna ruin our relationship.

Just don't tell me about it. Yeah.

I feel like that's how it should be now. Yeah.

That's exactly what it is, Nicole.

[JWoww] Unbelievable. I don't give advice,

but if there's anything that I could say to Ron and Jen,

keep that [bleep] out of the public eye.

Like, deal with it inside your house.

He always gets back with Sam-- I mean, Jen.

It's crazy. [Pauly D laughs]

You know what I mean?

Maybe he should just be single. No!

I'm unfortunately not surprised.

Ronnie tends to make bad decisions in relationships.

It just sucks because, like, we all know he shouldn't be with her.

This feels like old times, back in Jersey.

Yes, it does feel like old times.

Eating good Italian food,

sitting across from your sisters.

Yo, imagine going back where we all met each other.

Ten years later. [Snooki] I would love that.

Can you imagine being in that house together? That'd be weird.

There's a lot of good memories there.

That's where Nicole got punched in the face.

Yeah, that was fun.

That's where Jenni seen my pierced... oh!

[Vinny] Oh! [Pauly D] No dap for that.

[Snooki] Oh, thank you! Oh, you cheated!

You cheated, you cheated. You cheated.

That's how Ronnie met Sammi.

Oh! Wah wah wah!

We should go back to the Shore. I don't know what you guys are waiting for.

Yo, that would be epic. Summer!

Can we have our same room if we get back together?

Yes, absolutely.

Mike, you actually get to experience it now.

You get to see the house for the first time.

Thank you. Oh, my God!

[JWoww] It's gonna be a good time for you.

I think we should call Danny and rent the house.

Do you have Danny?

Uh, yeah. Danny T-Shirt Shop.

[phone line trilling]

Hey!

It's DJ Pauly D. Remember me?

What's up, guys? How we doin'?

Can we come back to the house?

I want to check it out and make sure my bed's still there.

Oh! Oh, damn!

What do you mean? You done rented our house?

[Vinny] That's our house, bro.

All right, all right, dawg. So, damn.

We can only have it for, like, the weekend.

All right, yeah, we'll... We'll take what we can get.

Yeah, we'll take it. Yo, we'll see you at the Shore.

We're going back to Seaside.

All right, well, we will see you soon, and thank you.

It's gonna be lit.

[Snooki] Thanks, Danny. Peace out.

All right, my dude. Later. We love you. Bye.

Getting everyone back together at the Shore house in Seaside,

that would be nothing short of magic.

It's been five to six years since the squad has been back

in Seaside, but I predict that it will be like

not a day has passed and we get right in our groove.

Let's FaceTime Ron. [Snooki] Let's do it.

[Mike] Ooh, Ron-some!

[phone line trilling]

[all cheering]

What's up, you chooch? Hey, Ron!

Who are you over there with? Ah, there's the little munchkin.

[all] Aw!

Little peanut. Listen, we have an idea.

We want to go back to the Shore house.

In Seaside. Seaside with Danny.

Seaside? [Pauly D] Yeah.

Will you come?

Yeah.

[laughter]

Tell Ron to pack his bags.

We're going back to the same house, though,

where it all started. [Mike]Yaass!

And the only thing is, never fall in love at the Jersey Shore.

[Deena] See you there, Ron! All right, we'll see you over there.

I'll see you in Vegas.Peace!

All right, so he's down. He's coming.

Nice. It's happening.

This is happening. We're gonna be living in our old Shore house.

Honestly, I'm scared.

We're going back to where it all started, people!

Should I call Angeliners... and invite her to Seaside?

We squashed our beef. We squashed it. You squashed the beef?

Oh, now you love her. Calm down. It's a wait and see.

[Pauly D] Wow! Best friends! Yeah.

Yo, for real, though, she could come.

I don't care.Sure.

We need somebody to pay for the cheesesteaks.

[laughter]

So I'll never forget the last time

we all said good-bye to each other in Jersey.

We legit said good-bye to the Shore house.

Our lives will never be the same again 'cause of this [bleep] thing.

[JWoww] My life is perfect now because of being here.

So it sucks that I'm leaving.

Seaside!All right, I'm out.

Bye. Love you! Bye!

[JWoww] So never in my wildest dreams

would I ever think we'd be back to the Shore house.

Honestly surreal.

We're going to Jersey Shore, b*tch!

[Pauly D] Yeah, buddy!

[Snooki] I'm gonna die.

[siren wailing in distance]

[horns honking]

♪♪

[horn honking]

[Mike] Yo, yo, what up?

Yo!

Ready to roll? Pop the trunk, kid.

Getting everyone back together at the Shore house in Seaside

is gonna be nothing short of magic.

Yo, bro, I can't believe we're going to Seaside.

I'll be honest with you... I thought we'd never make it back there.

I'm excited to see everyone.

Never in my life would I have thought

I'd be going back to Seaside pregnant.

I am so excited to go back to Seaside.

[horn honking]

Hi!

It's like the original Shore house. That's our baby.

[both] Hi!

I don't feel like getting out.

Okay. You're allowed.

I'm so excited to go back to Seaside.

I actually have not seen the new boardwalk and the new rides.

I haven't seen the house in years.

Ready for Seaside? Yeah. I need some tequila.

I need some cheese ba*ls. That's what I need.

I think I'm here.

Damn, this girl's got a big [bleep] house.

This should be interesting, to say the least.

Here she is. Whoa.

[Angelina] I'm so excited.

I've been waiting years for this.

I mean, like, the first time I lived on the Shore with them,

I basically lived there for hours.

Leaving was the biggest mistake of my life.

Now, finally, me and the roomies,

we're gonna make new memories together.

Oh, Jesus.

Who would have thought?

You look pretty. You're wearing the dress!

I'm wearing the dress.

I'm so, like, in shock and, like, happy at the same time.

Oh, here's the directions.

I mean, I know how to get there, but...

You do? Okay.

When's Pauly flying in?

I don't know, man.

I think he just deejayed last night, so...

That man... That man is... That man is an animal.

That man is mobile.Yeah.

What about Ronnies? Is he coming?

I don't know, man. Oh, no.

Ron supposedly got into a fight with Jen.

Jen dragged him with the car

and drove him over a divider and, uh, yeah.

The relationship is toxic and it's insane staying in it.

If he comes, we'll...

Like, that happened, like, yesterday.

Yes. Like, you know what I'm saying?

It's not like it happened a week ago.

Yeah. Like, that [bleep] is [bleep] real.

Homeboy is destroyed right now.

I know. He needs to, like...

He texted me yesterday. He's at urgent care.

Did you see that? He sent me a picture. I couldn't even...

Oh, God. I showed Chris.

He goes, what the [bleep]? I was like, I know.

Literally, flesh was coming out of his arm.

No, it's not. No. Did you see bone?

No, I didn't see bone. Oh, my God!

It was not okay.

Bro, he was, like, getting dragged out of cars and [bleep].

Oh, I know, I know, I know.

He didn't show his face and I heard his face is all [bleep] up.

Face, his thumb.

He said he was at urgent care for, like, all sorts of parts

of his body and then I was like, are you coming?

He's like, I'm gonna try. No, you're not. Don't.

Honestly, I don't want him to come.

I really don't because I want him with his baby.

Between her jumping a median

with the [bleep] baby in the car,

she dragged Ron with the car,

he's in a [bleep] sling and is covered in blood.

Like, done. Like, not speaking to her

and I'm gonna keep it very light and sweet with Ron

because this [bleep] is too crazy.

It's unfortunate, it really is.

I think he should break up with that girl, but he doesn't want to.

Um, hello, duh.I know.

The definition of insanity is repeating the same actions

over and over again and expecting different results.

Yeah. Speaking of results, how's your diet?

I've actually been really good, but we're going back to Seaside right now.

I know, it's so hard. Boardwalk, boardwalk food.

It's gonna be hard. Boardwalk burgers.

Oh, my God! French fries.

Beachcomber salad. I know, I know.

Well, Beachcomber salad is pretty healthy, though.

No. I'll eat those all day. Yeah.

[Snooki] We're going over the bridge. It's happening!

Yes! I can't believe it! Whoo!

This is exciting. Yes!

♪ Take me out, we don't have to go too far ♪

♪ Just knowing that we'll do it together ♪

♪ In the weather ♪

♪ Take me out, feeling fine in rain or shine ♪

♪ We'll always have the time of our lives ♪♪

I love it here. We're pulling up.

It's happening. Actually, wait. It's down there. Hold on.

I'm not even gonna tell you where the house is. Let's see if you remember.

Where's our house? I think it's to the left.

So we're here. Oh, my God, this is so crazy.

Our house is right there.

I'm having anxiety. Why?

'Cause I haven't been here. Calm down.

This is insane. All right, it's right here. Pull up.

We're here. Oh! It's happening.

♪ Can you see what I see? ♪

♪ The vision is blinding ♪

♪ Shine your light bright for the world to see ♪

♪ Shine your light bright for the world to see ♪♪

Okay. Oh, God. Ooh.

Hi, house! Yay!

Ah, it looks the same.

So excited.

This is leg day, I guess.

Oh, my God! I'm gonna throw up.

[groans] Oh, my... [bleep] my life.

[Snooki] Why am I out of breath?

Hello?

Party's here!

[Snooki] Party's here! Oh, Jesus.

Um, hello!

Ew, it's so annoying. Hello?

Whoo!

Is anyone here? Hello?

Let's drink.

Nobody's here. Holy [bleep].

We're the first ones! Yes!

Yaass, b*tch! I love it. Me and my back brace and you.

Yes!

Hello! Party's here!

All right, look, I bought a bag of tricks.

Hold on, let me put my stuff down. Ehh!

But you don't know him. Oh, that's cute.

No, I don't know him. What is that?

His name's Crocodilly.

He's missing! Aah!

Who does that to this innocent little thing?

Crocodilly-- it wouldn't be the same without him.

The duck phone. Ooh!

Yaass! Oh, my God!

I stole it from Miami.

This is awesome. Here, let me connect it.

Nicole is talking about different memories in the house.

Like, I don't remember any of this [bleep].

This is where the duck phone was. Oh, [bleep]!

How do you hook this up? And the beanbag, too.

Whose-- Wait, Nicole. I don't know how to hook that up.

Let's have a glass of wine before we start this little tour.

How the [bleep] is that thing quacking? That's really weird.

[phone quacking]

Quack-quack-quack.

[Vinny] I have so many memories.

When you tried to have a threesome with Nicole and Deena?

Yeah, yeah, I tried to have a threesome with Nicole and Deena.

Threesome!Okay.

[gasps] Can we have a threesome?Yeah.

I'm so [bleep] horny.

Sounds like a good time. What bed do we do it in?

Well, everyone was single. Yeah.

Everyone was ratchet. Yeah.

This'll be my first time in Jersey with Angelina,

which I think it'll be fun.

Yeah, as long as she doesn't come in hot. That's true.

Like, at the end of the day, I think I... I've been...

I was in the Jersey house way more than her.

Oh, my God, yeah. That's more my house than her house, just saying.

Didn't Pauly hook up with Angelinas in one of the houses?

I don't think Pauly did. I mean, I did. You did.

What the...? Explain to me what's going on right now.

Yo, listen, me and Angelina need some privacy.

[Pauly D] All right, bro, got you.

I hate to break the news to you. Oh, my God!

I don't think Pauly did, though.

You did it in Miami, right?Mm-hmm.

I guess the silver lining to having Angelina in the house

is that she never disappoints.

You can pick on her, you know what I mean?

She is kind of fun. I still hate her, though.

Oh, my God, what-- All right, bets on Vinny and Angelina.

Like, she's gonna come in hot for him.

Once everybody's drinking, that's...

all that [bleep] will probably come out,

and I'm just gonna sit there, eating my popcorn.

Yep. She picked up Nicole,

so I'm assuming she's not drinking.

If they are there before us, they're drinking.

That's true.

Cheers.Cheers.

Ugh! I'm gonna throw--

Ew. Ew! She just threw up. Oh, my God.

All right, the tour. I used to fall down these stairs all the time.

No you did not! You didn't break your head?

Yeah, the first night, I fell down.

[screaming]

When you all left me to go to the boardwalk, 'cause you're all a*s[bleep].

[phone line trilling] Where the [bleep] did everyone go?

[Angelina] This is a long ways up.

Wait, it looks the same. I can't.

Stop!

Oh, my God, dude, there's so many memories up here.

Oh! The same couches and everything.

Stop!

Oh!

All the memories are coming back,

like there was a fight here, someone was having sex there,

there was, um, you know, alcohol and chugging over there.

It was just, like, a lot of [bleep] went down in this house.

♪♪

[screaming]

Scared of milk, Popeye?

Angelina, look at the Jacuzzi right now.

Oh, jeez! Isn't that wonderful?

I ran, and touch! I gotta tell you! I got this!

I gotta tell ya, I gotta tell...

[retching] [screams]

[grunts]

Cool.

So, I'm just loving this right now.

I'm feeling very sentimental.

Honestly, I think this house made me a better person.

Oh, I miss the boardwalk.

[Angelina] This is amazing.

What else? What else can you show me?

♪♪

[Vinny] Yo, we're at the house!

Yo!

♪♪

[Vinny] I'll pull in this way, [bleep] it.

[Mike] Yeah, yeah.

Oh, [bleep]. All right. All right.

You wanna just go in first? Yeah, let's go in first.

All right. Check who's in there.

Seaside Heights!

People said that we wouldn't be back, and we are. Yep.

Yo, yo, yo! What up, homeboy?

What up? What's going on, man? What's up, man? What's your name?

Vinny. What's goin' on? [Mike] Vinny. What's up, Vinny?

I'm the smallest guy here! [bleep]!

[laughter]

Aah!

Hey! Hey!

[Snooki] Hey, boys!

[Vinny] Hey! [Angelina] Oh, my God.

Hi, babe! How are you?

Hi, Vinny. I miss you!

[Snooki] I know!

Angelina's like Halley's Comet, you know?

It's like something that should only happen

every so many years, you know what I'm sayin'?

So, when I just saw Angelina in Vegas...

You just slapped me in the face. That's as*ault!

I thought that I won't see her for, like, another five years.

I'm a little upset that everyone else

is kinda not reacting to Angelina getting here.

I'm cool now, and I'm nice.

Even though, even though you think I'm an [bleep], Vinny.

I didn't...Whoa.

Whoa, already! Already.

I know-- You're gonna give me a hug too, or you're not?

Oh, hell no! Oh, hell no.

Oh, my God, remember when we-- Oh, Karma!

Remember all the good times there?

Half of those we don't remember. [chuckles]

Hell, no! Thank God.Wait!

When you peed behind the bar, that was my favorite.

That is gonna bite me in the a*s one day.

Stop it!

[slurring] I watered it down.

You got arrested right here!

I got arrested right here. Like, right here.

I'm runnin' away from you. We're done.

No, I don't wanna be in trouble. No!

Yep, that's where I got arrested. That's awesome.

And then if we go a little further,

we'll be where Nicole got arrested.

Yes! We cried like a*s --!

I'm a [bleep] good person!

You have to teach me all the meats right now, Mike.

Look at the darts that-- She wants to know about your meat.

Mike is an engaged man. That is true.

So are you.

Engaged man! [laughing]

No, no, no! He said it!

That was an accident! That was...

He didn't mean it like that.

I'm telling you, there's something more-- more between these two.

Oh, yes!

[JWoww] Aah! We're here!

Oh, my God! Oh, it looks the same.

Okay.

I feel like the house has not changed.

It's, like, saved in time of when we left.

Honey, I'm home!

[all shouting greetings]

Oh, no!

[Deena] Oh, my God, it smells the same. Hi.

How weird! Hi!Deener!

It smells exactly the same as when we left it,

like... like a seashell. It always has.

[indistinct]

This is my friend Angelina. Hi!

Hey, Jennis. [JWoww] Hey.

[Snooki]Finally! How are you?

Oh, we have, like, the same type of dress.

Oh, [bleep]! Hi!

[Deena] I have not spoken to Angelina since Miami,

and I'm like, "All right, Angelina and Deena

under the same roof in Jersey." Should be interesting.

So this is the first time me and you are living together under the same roof.

Yeah! This is insane.

I'm excited.

[Pauly D] Oh, yeah! Seaside, here I come!

Wow, I can't believe I'm back here.

That's how you know you're back in Jersey, I see the bridge!

Oh, my God, this is trippin' out.

This is my street. It's the house.

I can't believe it!

Wow, it looks the same.

I'm home!

[Pauly D] Mom! I'm home! What the [bleep]?

[Snooki] Who's screaming? I think Pauly's coming.

[Pauly D] Oh, yeah! What up, though?

[Deena] Yes!

[Angelina] What's up?

[Snooki] Finally, Pauly!

Nicole, what's up? Wow, it smells the same in here.

That's what I said! It does.

Smells like Seaside up in here. What up, what up, what up?

[Deena] Hi! I missed you.

Good to see you. You too.

What up, what up, what up? What up, what up?

[JWoww] How was your flight?

[Vinny] Do I hear my boyfriend?

You guys were meant to be.

God, I've missed you!

[Vinny] I've missed you so much!

You guys are meant to be.

[Pauly D] Can't believe I'm back in this house!

We done so many summers here, it feels like home to me.

Yo, it seems mad smaller. Is it just me?

I know, right? Did I get bigger? [laughing]

I think so.

Your blowout got bigger. Damn, bro.

Yo, this is wild.

Yeah, we had some memories in here.

Oh, my God.

[all] Hey! Hey! Hey!

MVP up in here!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

MVP up in here! MVP!

The universe is whole again.

[Mike] Smash Squad was originated here.

I just got pregnant by sitting on these sheets.

MVP is reunited in one room, and I love it!

Bro, "gym, tanning, laundry" was created in these walls.

[Mike] So, how do you get the best results?

"GTL," baby. "Gym, tan, laundry."

Because if everything's put together,

and you feel great, you look great, awesome night.

"T-Shirt Time" was created in these walls.

[Mike] The shirt before the shirt.

This is the shirt before the shirt.

[both] ♪ It's T-shirt time ♪

Yo, it all starts here. This is the foundation.

"Jersey Shore" is the foundation.

The tales of MVP will live on for generations.

[Pauly D] Legendary, bro.

Facts. Yo, we gonna go eat?

[Mike] Damn, son.

[Pauly D] Let's get it.

[JWoww laughs]

Yo, did you start the grill? Let's start--

Oh, Vinny!

Let's start the grill.

[Snooki] That's her brace.

You wanna get that close to me,

you're wearing my brace right now. I get it.

Oh! I like this.

[Angelina] Vinny, just let me know if you want me to get close to you.

Why, you would do it? No.

[Deena] Can I just ask, why do you not like him?

[Mike] Oh!

[Angelina] He doesn't like me.

Oh, we're starting already?

Just, what caused the animosity?

All right, 'cause she said that you guys knew each other,

and then when she walked in the house the first time...

[Snooki] It's happening.

[JWoww] ...you acted like you didn't know who the "F" she was.

I met you, like, twice.

Bull[bleep], Vin.

[Snooki] Ooh!

When did I meet you? You used to date...

[Snooki] Spill the tea!

...or hang out with my friend Christina.

We would all hang out. We met once.

[JWoww] Awkward.

[Vinny] We met one time.

No, that-- There was more than that.

We used to go to that other pla-- that other club.

That was one time. A million times. No, not just one.

And I went to high school with you.

[Vinny] Yeah, but I--

You went to high school together?

I didn't even know that.

[Angelina] Yes, we did.

You know you pretend like you don't know me,

but we all know we both grew up in Staten Island, New York.

You and Vinny should have carpooled coming from the island.

You want me to be your best friend

'cause we met once since Staten Island.

It's not-- We didn't meet once, Vinny.

[Mike] They lived around the block from each other.

No, no, not at all.

[Deena] You lived around the corner?

Yes. [Vinny]Never.

No, we did.Never!

I knew of Angelina, but I was not friends with the girl.

I never had a lab with her, I never took gym with her,

I never sat in the cafeteria with her.

Angelina's like the Loch Ness Monster.

[Angelina] Um, hello!

She's like this urban legend.

Like, "There's an Angelina here."

But you never saw her.

Remember when they were screaming at each other.

They were screaming, right?

What happened the next day?

They had sex, what happened? It was perfectly fine.

Right now, they're screaming. They should have sex tonight,

and they'll be fine the next day.

[JWoww] That's what I said earlier.

Want any more salt?

Yeah, I want salt on your [bleep]!

No, I'm kidding. [laughing]

[Vinny] Oh, h*-h*!

[JWoww laughing] What the [bleep]?

[cell phone ringing]

[Vinny] Yo, guys, Ronnie's calling me.

[Mike] Ronnie! Ronnie's here!

Ronnie's calling! It's happening!

Shut up! Ronnie's here.

[Vinny] We don't know what's going on in Ronnie's world.

This is like one of those phone calls where you hope

for the best, but I mean, look,

I'm [bleep] out of advice for Ronnie.

Oh, no. [cell phone ringing]

Yo!Ronald!

[Deena]Ronnie!

[Mike] Ronnie's here!

[Snooki] Ronnie's calling! It's happening!

[Vinny] Ronnie's calling me.

Ronnie's calling me! Shut up! Yo!

[Mike] Where are you?

[all] Oh...

So you're not coming?

Oh... [Snooki] Oh...

Damn. All right, all right, all right.

[Deena] Oh, my God, he's in a sling.

[Mike] Ronnie looks upset.

I love, love, love Ronnie.

It's just like one of those crazy cousins or brothers

or sisters that you have that you wish

just made better life choices.

We miss you.

[Snooki] Well, we love you!

[Mike] Yeah, us too.

I'm kind of okay with Ron not being here right now.

He just needs to, like, sit this one out, work on himself.

Hopefully, this was a huge wake-up call for him,

and he can just figure it out on his own.

Can you move it?

[Vinny] Yeah, yeah.

Still a real drag, though.

Oh! Pun intended.

No!

What a d*ck. I know, it took a--

[Vinny] Look, I like seeing him smile.

[Mike] Yeah, he's smiling.

[Vinny] Yeah, none of that!

[Mike] Nothing's gonna drag him down!

All right, brother, we miss you.

[Snooki and Deena] Love you!

Let's not drag this out. All right, bye, bye.

[Mike] Wow!

What? He said-- He was joking around with me.

[Pauly D] So Ron's not comin' for this.

I'm a little sad, but I understand.

The stuff that he's going through is heavy.

So, we're in Seaside this weekend for a few days.

It's gonna be lit.

"Jersey Shore Family Vacation," yeah, buddy!

I love vacations this time of year.

[Ronnie] My man. This is my man right here.

Good to see you, son.

[laughter]

♪♪

[Pauly D] Let's do a little toast right here.

[Snooki] Yes!

To back where it all started.

First Sunday dinner, Thing One and Thing Two.

[Snooki] Cheers.

[overlapping cheers]

[Mike] First Sunday dinner. Great job cooking, guys.

Yaass!

Seaside!

Oh, yeah! Seaside, yeah!

[JWoww] Oh, God.

[Snooki] It's happening.