02x09 - Vinny and Angelina: A Love Story

[bunniefuu]

[Snooki] We're going to Jersey Shore, b*tch!

Yeah!

[Snooki] We're gonna be living in our old Shore house.

Honestly, I'm scared.

What about Ronnies? Is he coming?

Ron supposedly got into a fight with Jen.

Jen dragged him with the car and drove him over a divider.

Literally flesh was coming out of his arm.

No, it's not. No. Did you see bone?

[tires screeching]

I was like, are you coming?

He's like, I'm gonna try.

No, you're not. Don't.

Party's here!

Ahh! Hello!

[Angelina] Hi, Vinny.

[Vinny] When I just saw Angelina in Vegas.

You just slapped me in the face. That's as*ault!

I thought that I wouldn't see her for,

like, another five years.

I'm a little upset that everyone else is kinda

not reacting to Angelina getting here.

Want any more salt? Yeah, I want salt

on your d*ck. No, I'm kidding. [laughing]

[Vinny] Oh!

♪ Here I come ♪

Yeah, buddy!

Party's here!

The Situation is under construction.

This might not have been the best idea.

We're so classy now.

On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

Get the frig outta here, you crazy!

♪ Here I come ♪

♪♪

[Angelina] [gasps] Who wrote this?

[Snooki] What?

"Being a trash bag"?

That looks like my handwriting. [laughing]

You b*tch!

[Snooki] Oh, wow, look how clean it looks.

Yeah, 'cause we haven't destroyed it yet.

Yeah.

Let's do a little toast right here.

[Snooki] Yes!

To back where it all started.

To Seaside!

Oh, yeah! [all cheering]

[JWoww] Honestly, it's weird.

It's like six years haven't gone by, but they have,

'cause like this feels almost normal

to be doing this right now. It's so creepy.

Ahh! Whoo! That water went down rough.

Yes, that was so... Ahh!

Ooh! Oh, my God, it's burning now.

That'll put hair on your chest.

[Snooki] Danny left us a note.

"Got you some drinks and food.

Have a good time. Please don't touch the house."

"Trash.""Do not trash the house."

[Deena] Trash the house.

[JWoww] We never did. Well, actually--

Are you kidding?

Holy [bleep]!

[Ronnie] Piss right on the rug.

[laughter]

[Mike] Hell, yeah.

Batter up, b*tch! [bleep] you!

[Mike] [bleep]

[crashing]

[smoke alarm beeping] [Snooki] God, it's a forest fire!

[Mike] Somebody flushed a pair of underwear.

[Snooki] Oh, my God!

[all] Yeah, buddy!

Oh, yeah, we did trash the house. Oh, yeah. Mm-hm.

Yeah, I forgot.

Yep, we were disgusting.

[Angelina] Mike, can you teach me? What is up with this?

That is funfetti cakes.

What is-- is this your favorite?

Yes. [JWoww] Everyone's favorite.

Everyone loves funfettis. Even my kids' favorite now.

Really?

Yep!

I've always been a fan of funfetti,

ever since a little boy.

I remember this, the first time

I fell in love with a funfetti cupcake.

It was a vanilla funfetti frosting with sprinkles.

But it was homemade,

and it was in the 'frigerator too,

so it was nice and frosty.

You know what I'm saying? It was nice and frosty.

I have to break in the-- the O.G. house

with a funfetti cake.

The simple things in life make ya happy.

Salamis!

[Deena] Will you make the famous grilled cheese for me?

Oh, my God, of course! Do we have bread and cheese?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's-- that is-- that is the--

Bro, you're gonna blow us up.

I smell gas. Don't burn down the house.

It's burning the whole thing.

We could possibly blow up right now.

[all shouting]

[Snooki] Is there a fire?

[Ronnie] Shut up!

Oh.

Yes! Grill's on.

Like, no time has passed.

We pull everything out of the fridge.

[crashing] Oh!

Ooh!

[Snooki] Danny said not to trash the place!

Mike, you're dripping it everywhere.

Why are we not grown up? Yep.

[Mike] We chop up everything.

We grill everything because we go in on Sunday dinner.

One, two, three, four...

Ha!

[Pauly D] Holy [bleep], it's still burning.

I think it'll still taste good. Yeah.

Five minutes for dinner, right?

[Vinny]Done. [Mike] Time to eat!

Look at this dinner table.

All right, everybody have a seat.

[Angela] Wait! Wait for me.

Mr. Sorrentino, could we have a scooper?

Yeah, since you're up, honey?

[Vinny] And ketchup? Mustard?

Don't tell us to clean your plate. Remember?

Everybody should take each side of my plate

and walk it to the garbage.

Everybody hands their plate and holds one end of it.

What he said, that was real funny.

[Mike] Being back, cookin' a big meal with the squad

is pretty much being back at home.

We should say a little bit of graces.

Yes. Oh, no, pass.

[Mike] I am so thankful to be here with all you guys.

It's really a blessing

that we're all here together. [JWoww]Same.

May God continue to bless us all,

and also bless Deena's unborn child.

[all cheering]

I love new meatballs this time of year!

May it be a masculine child. [Deena]Yes.

[Snooki] Yes! [laughter]

[Mike] And also we pray for Ronnie, who's not here.

Yes. And hopefully he gets everything

figured out out in Vegases.

Can I do a speech? No.

[laughter]

About that?

I think Angelina should make a speech.

Angelina should make the appropriate speech.

Yeah. [Vinny] Okay.

[Angelina] Last time in Seaside,

I really didn't care to be there.

Go home.

You're an idiot, Mike.

Back in the day, I was, like, horrible.

But I've changed from back then.

Like, let's take the old memories, Angelina,

and throw them out and, like,

now I'm ready to create new ones.

Angelina, take it away.

[Angelina] Thank you so much, God, for giving us this food and--

[Vinny] All right, anyone else?

[bleep] you, Vin, you're an a*s-[bleep].

[Pauly D] Can we do this grace... Oh, my God!

...without an F-b*mb? [JWoww] We don't disrespect grace!

[Angelina] I don't know what it is about this kid,

but he really says something out of his mouth

and I get pissed right off the bat.

[Vinny] [bleep] Staten Island girls are [bleep] classy, bro.

Why don't you do it, Vinny, since you're so perfect?

Be careful. Tread carefully.

[Mike] These two got beef right here.

[Deena] Yeah, you guys should just [bleep] it out.

[Vinny] Yo, she wants the D.

Oh, my God.

I am praying that Angelina and Vinny hook up.

They have so much sexual tension,

then just get it out. It's happening. Just go.

Don't come at me, 'cause I got-- I got pieces in the chamber.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. [Vinny] Wait a minute,

what did you just say to me?

I got a loaded g*n.

What do you have in the chamber with him?

I'm gonna save it for another time.

[Angelina] Vinny needs to check himself,

because I got a lot of [bleep] on that kid.

[sighs] Well, I don't have a chamber on you,

'cause I don't think about you ever.

Ohh...!

[JWoww laughing] [Snooki]Come on!

Ohh...!

That was a good one.

Don't lie, you think about me day,

[bleep] afternoon, and night.

[all] Oh!

Oh, my God.

[JWoww] What's this chamber of secrets you got, girl?

Dinner is the place where we air it out.

[Mike] Yo, Angelina says she's got one

in the chamber for him, and I'm waiting.

I got me my popcorn.

Bring the chamber out. I want to see it!

What's it have to do with?

[Snooki]Chamber!

[Snooki and Deena] Chamber! Chamber! Chamber!

[JWoww] Seeing her face, I can tell she got the good [bleep].

Staten Island's coming for you.

[JWoww] Chamber.

[Snooki and Deena] Chamber! Chamber! Chamber!

I'm about to blast this [bleep] right in your face.

[Vinny] Well, you are the trash bag.

You know you used to hit me up

back in the day and try to [bleep] eff me.

[Mike] Oh, oh!

Whoa![Snooki screaming]

[Mike] [bleep]! Don't go there!

I don't even know you!

[Vinny] Help me! I said I won't do it!

[Snooki screaming] [laughter]

[Mike] Just when I thought people had matured in their life...

[all] Oh!

...nah.

[Mike] She stuck her a*s on the funfetti cake!

No!

[Angelina] You know you used to hit me up

back in the day and try to [bleep] eff me.

[Mike] Oh, oh!

Whoa![Snooki screaming]

[Mike] Oh [bleep]! Don't go there!

We want receipts!

[laughter]

I don't even know you!

[Vinny] What? Sorry. I'm sorry. [laughing]

I don't even know you!

[Pauly D] I'm starting to think my Keto Guido

right now is keeping some stuff from me.

I had no idea that you guys hit each other up on the low.

Are you guys gonna listen to this lunatic?

Oh!

[Deena] We want receipts!

[laughing] [laughing]

[Deena] Vinny and Angelina, they've known each other

for years, so maybe-- maybe--

it's real. Like, this is real life.

And say you want to take me out on a date.

And [bleep] you want to get to know me.

Wanted to go on a date with her?

Where'd you want to bring her?

He wanted to bring her to the Staten Island mall.

[laughter]

[Snooki] That's it. That was the chamber.

This is why I hate having this girl here, like--

If you don't like me, my question to you is,

why did you bang me then?

Yeah, question to you is, why'd you bang her then?

[Snooki]Ooh!

[Pauly D] Facts! Inquiring minds want to know.

[Snooki] Unless it was a hate bang.

[Angelina] You wouldn't hate bang a girl you didn't think was attractive.

[Pauly D] Yeah, exactly, bruh. [laughing]

In Staten Island, maybe this is their way of flirting.

She's a totally coherent,

intelligent, normal person. Believe everything she says.

I love sarcasm.

[laughter]

[Pauly D] It's like in kindergarten when

the boys would throw rocks at the girls or whatever.

Lie detector test! Lie detector test!

Angelina's throwing rocks at Vinny.

You can't just, like, say lies about people.

[Vinny] Like, we lived in the same block, which is not true.

We were in the same area growing up.

Okay, guys, listen-- look at this, look at this.

Why are you lying? [Pauly D] Hold up.

This is Victory, this is Bradley,

this is the other side, okay?

[JWoww] Cross-streets. Miles, miles long.

Bull-[bleep]-[bleep].

Ooh!

[Snooki] Angelina and Vinny are going at each other.

Miles and miles and miles! No!

You're lying! [Vinny] And miles!

[Snooki] And honestly, I love it.

[bombastically] And miles and miles away!

You [bleep] liar! You lie and you lie!

Bang him, punch him in the face, and let's move on from it.

You're a [bleep] liar, and you [bleep] know it!

[Vinny] Oh, my God!

Seaside is also close to Staten Island.

It's all relative, you [bleep].

[all] Oh!

[all shouting]

[Mike] Run, mother-[bleep], run!

Get it! Oh, my God! What's happening?

[JWoww] Oh, my God.

[Mike] We've been in the house for like five minutes.

This [bleep] is normal, right?

Someone help me!

[Deena] Angelina, stop! [JWoww] Don't!

I feel like this is a Staten Island mating ritual.

Open the door if you got ba*ls. Open the door.

Hold it, you're gonna break the door.

You're gonna break the door!

[screaming] Oh!

[JWoww] 'Cause it's like low-key fighting,

yet undertones of sexualness.

[Angelina] You're lucky.

I'm gonna give you a pass right now, bro.

Go sit down. [Mike] Ketchup? Ketchup?

[Vinny] "You got ba*ls, right?"

No! No!

[all shouting]

[JWoww] Give him a*mo! Give him a*mo!

[Snooki] [screaming] Where'd she go?

[Deena] I don't know. I'm not trying to [bleep] be

in the middle of this [bleep].

[Pauly D] I can't, I'd die.

[Angelina] Where are you, Vin?

Yo, I don't have shoes on.

Mike, this is like us .!

I love it.

[Pauly D] Watch my freshies! Watch my freshies!

Ahh! [laughing]

Watch my freshies.

[JWoww] a*mo! She's got ketchup!

Is there like a back way here?

I don't-- I don't know.

Just when I thought people had matured in their life...

Vinny!

...nah.

[Snooki] Watch the pregnant girl!

Things will never change.

[JWoww] Deena, get in the living room! [Snooki] Do not do it inside!

[Snooki] No, not inside!

[all shouting]

[Snooki] I said not inside! You [bleep]!

[Snooki] This is crazy. Like, what are we doing here?

All the memories are coming back.

It's just like another day in the office with the roomies.

Yo, Danny is not gonna be happy about this.

[Snooki] No! We're like older now!

Not gonna be happy. We're like !

[laughing] Aah!

[Mike] Protect the pregnant girl!

Protect the pregnant!

[Angelina] Ooh!

Did we finish?

Oh, no! Do not!

I won't do it. I won't do it.

You-- don't do it.

Yo, I won't do it! I said I won't do it!

Huh? She's your neighbor, eh, cuz?

[slow-mo distortion] I said I won't do it.

[slow-mo distortion] No!

[Vinny, slow-mo distortion] Oh!

[Mike, slow-mo distortion] Be-- No!

[Pauly D] Oh!

[Snooki] Oh, my God!

[laughter]

I'm peeing! I'm peeing! [laughing] Oh, my God.

Don't mess with my man!

[all shouting]

[Deena] Oh, my God!

[Snooki] Danny said not to trash the place.

Can they [bleep] now?

[Pauly D] I am not getting my security deposit back.

[Angelina] Where are you, Vin?

Someone help me!

[Mike] She's still coming. [Snooki [screaming]

I won't do it if you--

don't do it. I said I won't do--

[all shouting]

[Snooki] My God! Oh, my God! I'm peeing! I'm peeing!

[laughter]

[Pauly D] Don't mess with my man!

[Snooki] You guys, use your shelter!

Is she done?

[Snooki] Can they [bleep] now?

[JWoww] Making funfetti.

[Pauly D] My dinner is ruined.

Vinny and Angelina keep going at it, going at it, going at it.

It's only a matter of time, I can sense it.

It's like we're about due

for an anger bang between Vinny and Angelina.

You both [bleep] up! You both [bleep] up.

[Vinny] No, she started with me.

No. No, [bleep] him.

I say you guys make out-- I mean, hug it out.

[Angelina] I smell like [bleep]-- like-- like vinegar.

This is my $ dress that Nicole picked out, and you [bleep] it up.

You smell better. Go shower.

[Angelina] No, I'm gross.

I don't know. It smells like an Italian sub in here, though.

[JWoww] It does. [laughing]

[Vinny] Mike's about to eat us.

[Pauly D] Hug it out. [JWoww] Hug it out.

[Vinny] No, I'm not hugging it out.

I'll shake, I'm not hugging it out.

[Angelina] No, [bleep] that.

[Snooki] It's like a movie.

I'm just watching a movie and I'm waiting for the cl*max.

[Pauly D] Hug it out. [JWoww] Just [bleep] shake!

[Vinny] I am not hugging you. I am not hugging you.

♪ Just waiting for the call back ♪

♪ Telling me you're sorry 'cause you're feeling... ♪

Just hug it out, you [bleep] idiot.

No, -- that.

♪ Circling like clockwork ♪

Sometimes I wish Vinny would flirt-fight with me

the way he does Angelina. I'm starting to feel neglected.

♪ Get out of my mind ♪

♪ So I can leave you behind ♪

♪ You'll never be... ♪

Hug it out! Say you're sorry, now!

No. No.What the [bleep]?

Let's leave them two alone.

♪ Leaving me with static ♪

♪ Living in this plastic silence ♪

Don't [bleep] swing at me. I'm not.

♪ But now we're disconnected... ♪

[Pauly D] Vinny's in the smush room with Angelina!

[laughing] Oh, get out of here! Gross! Eww!

[Pauly D] Vinny's in the smush room with Angelina!

[Angelina] [bleep] mustard all over me.

[Pauly D] Vinny's in the smush room with Angelina!

[Mike] Oh, the funfettis is in there?

[JWoww] Mm-hmm.

[Mike] Yes! Mmm.

Danny's gonna paint that again. Sorry, Danny.

I did not pack for Italian sub night.

Hey, Jenni, I know you want to go to the t-shirt shop,

but how much time do we have left? [JWoww] I know.

We can't leave without the funfetti.

So what should I do? Should I turn it off?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

And leave it at that warm bake.

You can't waste a good funfetti cake.

I mean, it's like a sin.

Yo, we have a funfetti cake in the oven.

Like, you can't leave that [bleep].

Priority number one is the funfettis.

[Snooki] Look at Mike looking so concerned.

[JWoww] Mike is stressed. He's stressed.

[Pauly D] Mike's pissed.

[Vinny] Mike is like looking at it like a scientist.

He's like sweating.

Like, Mike is treating this cake

more seriously than his court date.

He's stressing.

Of course. You don't [bleep] with Mike's funfetti.

I know. I'm stressing out.

I need to have a Diet Cokes now.

I'm callin' it, I turned it off.

We're going to the Shore Store.

[Pauly D and Vinny] Oh!

Mike, you should have made the funfetti yourself.

[Vinny]Oh!

JWoww and Mike, part two.

Damn.[Snooki] Oh, they're fighting now.

And don't play when Mike comes to his funfettis.

[JWoww] So can we go to the t-shirt shop?

Yep, let's go. Yes.

And I'm excited for--

Angelina to turn this energy onto Danny,

'cause you have not seen him since you got fired.

[Pauly D] Hey, there ya go.

For you to stay in this house, you have to work.

You're fired. Ridiculous.

What an [bleep].

[Angelina] [bleep] my life.

♪ I know I know, baby, believe me ♪

♪ I know I know let's make this easy ♪

♪ Don't be crazy ♪

[Angelina] I'm getting a little nervous. Last time I saw Danny,

he fired me. So this should be really fun right now.

Guidos are here! [Vinny]Yo!

What's up, guys? How you doin'?

[Pauly D] Yo, you look the same, my dude.

[Vinny] Yeah, you look exactly the same.

[Pauly D] This is my friend, Angelina. I don't know if you know her.

[JWoww] Do you remember this one?

I actually did meet you one time.

Weren't you the girl who was too good to work here?

[all] Oh!

Your words were, you're a bartender, you do great things.

[all] Oh!

[Mike] I feel like we've never left the Jersey shore.

The guidos have come home.

[JWoww] The shot glass, $.

Shot glass. A shot glass. Ooh, two shot glasses.

[Danny] Nicole, you're working press.

I'm not working.

[Danny] Meatballs, where you going? [JWoww laughing]

[Danny] All I see is the hats. I know it's trouble.

[Mike] Pauly's selling t-shirts.

Who's next? Who's next?

Vinny's on the press.

[blowing]

And I'm just spectatin'.

[Danny] Is Mike even here?

Do you guys have bagels?

[Vinny] We had some good times in this store.

Yeah. It was, wasn't it?

[Pauly D] Yeah, it was dope.

[JWoww] So, we'll see you later.

[Snooki] I love you. Bye!

♪ Hey ohh... ♪

Oh, yeah!

[Mike] Time to put the comfies on and eat funfetti.

Yes!

[Deena] Let's keep this in our mouths, people.

[Vinny] That's what she said.

Look at Mike.

He don't care about nothing but the cake. He good.

Yes! [Pauly D] Man, that smells so good.

[Mike] I see you eyeing that funfetti cake, Pauly.

[JWoww] Yes! See you eyein' it, son.

Well, we have a real special occurrence tonight.

[Snooki] It's happening. [Mike] It's happening.

[Snooki] Look at him cut it. Look at 'im.

[JWoww] Mike, you're so serious. [laughing]

[Pauly D] He's been dying for this.

Finally, give it to Big Daddy Sitch.

And the moment of truth.

[Deena] Ooh! Oh, my God.

[Angelina] Oh, yeah, give it to me, right?

I know, you're just-- just give it to me.

[Vinny] You got it. That's fine.

I have problems with Vinny right now.

He [bleep] up my beautiful, classy dress

that Nicole picked out for me,

and it's like, I just want to get back at Vinny,

'cause he deserves to get pranked.

[Pauly D] Oh, [bleep]!

What is this girl doing?

[Angelina] Oh, Vinny,

you want a [bleep] funfetti facial?

Is she still talking to me? What? Why?

[JWoww] You should put your a*s in that and sit on it.

[Snooki] Yeah. Yeah.

[Angelina] Do not dare me to do something,

because I will [bleep] do it.

[JWoww] Sit on it. [Vinny] Jenni-- Jenni, stop.

Jenni, stop instigating,

'cause I'm about to put it on you.

All right. Fine, I'll do it.

Oh, my God, for real?

Wha-- How-- Like, how did it go from, like,

good to bad to worse?

I'm having trouble breathings right now.

[all] Oh!

No thank you!

The [bleep]? The [bleep]?

What the [bleep]?

[JWoww] It made a noise! [Deena laughing]

[Mike] What just happened? [Snooki laughing]

She stuck her a*s on the funfetti cake!

Nooo!

♪♪

[Mike] Oh, my God, for real?

[JWoww] I don't believe you're gonna do it.

It made a noise!

[Deena] [laughing]

What the [bleep]?

[Mike] What just happened? [laughter]

She stuck her a*s on the funfetti cake!

No!

[Deena] Oh, my God, I am hysterical laughing.

The baby is like,

"What are you doing to me in there?"

I can't. [laughing]

[Mike] Nope-- get out of here!

[all shouting and laughing]

This is not funny. This is abuse.

Yo, run!

[JWoww laughing]

[scream]

[Mike] There is no way to recover from this night.

The funfetti cake has been destroyed.

[Vinny] We've had some crazy nights up here.

That really took the cake.

[laughter]

[Deena] You should go wipe.

♪ I trusted you ♪

♪ But you treat me like a fool ♪♪

[baby fussing]

♪ I trusted you ♪♪

[Ronnie] Oh, yeah. Shh.

Oh, h*-h*, come here.

Crazy legs like Dad.

[Ronnie] With me and Jen, I just think that

there's a lot of things that are unsettled, you know?

And she doesn't know how to handle them, so she snaps.

And it's something that, like,

you wouldn't wish on anyone else.

♪ Spare me your emotion ♪

♪ Everyone is trapped in this confusion ♪

[Ronnie] Hi. Hi, honey.

Thank you for coming.

How are you? Good.

Ronnie] To have my mom out here, help me out,

and make sure that I get through all the difficult times is--

it really means a lot to me.

[Ronnie] Yeah, she is. [kisses]

Yeah, she sucks her thumb now.

She holds the bottle by herself sometimes.

Yeah. Okay, okay.

Oh, yeah.

[Ronnie] Just been in bed the last couple of days.

Yeah.

[Ronnie] I don't know what to think with Jen.

I know what I want, and like, I do want to have a family.

That's what makes me complete.

But it's like, when you... want something

and it's like, you can't have it,

but you're working at it and you're trying to get it,

but it's just like hurdle after hurdle

after hurdle after hurdle.

And it's like, I don't know what to do.

My main concern has gotta be the baby.

Gonna have to just take it day by day,

and hopefully things fall into place at this point.

As long as she's okay,

everything else will fall into place.

That's all that matters.

All I really care about at this point.

♪♪

[Vinny] Ronnie's. He's going through so much.

The second we left Vegas, he went right to her.

Mm-hmm. If he would've stayed

on the path that we put him on...

that wouldn't have happened.

We all keep saying this is gonna get worse,

and then the [bleep]-- he gets dragged in a car.

He was in the ER getting his wounds cleaned.

That mug shot says it all.

That mug shot looks like Lucifer.

[chuckling] Yo.

Maleficent.

[Vinny] You look like, right now, to me you look like

someone that has the biggest b*ner in the world.

[Pauly D laughing]

Like, what do you call that? Pitching a tent.Yeah.

Well, you know what?

That's Big Daddy Sitch for ya. BDS.

[Vinny] Laurens is a lucky girl.

[Pauly D] Damn.

She sure is. [chuckling]

[JWoww] So, can I just ask one question? [Angelina] Go ahead.

I feel like you wanna bang Vinny.

I don't. I am engaged,

but I took my ring off my finger.

Wait, what?

I threw my ring off my finger the other night.

Why? 'Cause, um...

[Deena] Like, you lost it? You lost your ring?

[Angelina] No! [JWoww] Like, you threw it at him?

[Angelina] Me and my fiance got into a really big fight.

[Deena] Over what? Like, what would you do

if Roger went MIA for [bleep] hours?

[Snooki gasps] Like, not answer--

You don't know where he went?

Not answer his phone.

[Snooki] For a full day?

Whole day. And night?

All night.

So you don't know where he slept that night?

When was this?

Three days ago.

I don't know. Oh, my God.

[Angelina] I do fight with Chris a lot,

I gotta be honest with you. Over stupid [bleep].

He gets very jealous over, like, little things,

and he has kind of an anger problem

that nobody's really seen yet.

And me and Chris can never sit down at a dinner table

without some kind of-- or form of fighting.

I mean, it's just normal in our household.

Think he's gonna be all right with you showing your a*s--

[Angelina] He's secure with certain things, but like--

[JWoww] That's like a masculine thing.

His fiancee is in a house with dudes that are single,

and it's the whole insecurity thing.

No man is secure in this type of [bleep].

It's just not a thing.

And trust me, I've been there. We've all been there.

Still be-- going through it.

Still going. Same.

You deal with that too?

[JWoww] Yeah, well, mine almost leaded to divorce, so...

[Deena] And that's why you do things to respect them,

so that they don't have to feel a certain way.

[Deena] It is super nice to have Angelina open up to us

because all we knew was she liked to [bleep] her pants

and put her a*s in our face and whatever else.

And now, like, I'm like, "Wow,"

like, there's something behind all that.

Like I was closing his car door one night.

I'm like drunk and he's drunk. He's like, "What the [bleep]?

Go [bleep] Vinny." I'm like, "What?"

[JWoww] Angelina's dropping bombs on us right now.

But, like, real girl talk. Like, whoa.

I don't think the third engagement

is the charm for Angelina. Sorry, girl.

Do you want to be with this guy

for the rest of your life?

♪ Welcome back home ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Welcome back home ♪

How'd you sleep? [Snooki] Terrible.

I forgot what these jail bed feel like.

♪ Welcome back home ♪

[Mike] Mother-[bleep]!

[sighs] Okay.

Savages live here.

Same house, same guidos.

[sighs]

Same morning routine.

Such tomfooleries. Animals!

I wouldn't expect nothin' less out here in Seaside.

[groans]

[Pauly D] Good morning, Deena.

Good morning, little bean in the oven.

[Mike] All right, guys, let's sit. We're all here.

[Deena] Good morning.

[Deena] It's definitely weird being back pregnant,

'cause usually I'm like

three sheets to the wind already.

[Pauly D] Are you trying to be a-- Yes! Yes!

[Deena chuckling]

Come on, get up, Sams!

I'm auditioning you to be a meatball.

All right. Usually I'm drinking

before I even get into this house.

Before I left my house,

I definitely opened the bottle

and took like three shots.

So, coming in sober and having to stay sober

is definitely different. [chuckling]

What do you guys want to do today?

[Deena] Boardwalk.

I want to go on rides. What about the rides?

[Angelina] So, Vinny, how's your morning?

[laughter]

How's your morning, Vinny?

[JWoww] Can I just eat my eggs first...

Can someone save me, please?

...before this [bleep] goes to [bleep]?

[Vinny] My morning is good, Angelina. How's yours?

[Angelina] People need to save you.

[JWoww] Can we just put it on ice for, like, seven seconds?

[Angelina] I'm joking around. So I can eat.

[Angelina] I don't think you can take a joke with me, though.

[JWoww] Just don't speak for one minute.

[Angelina] [chuckles] I'll try.

[Vinny] I'm, like, turned on.

[laughter]

[Pauly D] The guidos are here!

We should go fishing like old times.

Remember the first day? We had girls in the hot tub.

[Mike] Yeah.

[whistles] Yo!

[women] Hey!

[Pauly D] What up? [Mike] What's up?

It's gonna be a great summer.

Come on, come up in here. Oh, my God.

Ha ha! Yes! Yes.

[Mike] I'll tell you what, I feel definitely at home.

I do too. [Mike] I feel at home.

In a weird way, I feel at home.

I'm sitting here right now, and I feel like we've--

we were here yesterday.

And, uh, Laurens is also pressuring me right now

to choose my wedding party.

Hmm. And, obviously,

you know MVP is gonna be a big part of that.

And this, to be honest with you,

as sappy as it sounds, this was my dream.

Yeah. To have you guys involved

in my biggest day,

'cause you guys are my best friends.

And for many years, I didn't take care of

some of the relationships between you guys,

and now I feel so grateful

that we have our friendship back

and I can share these moments.

[Vinny] We're glad to have you back.

Any time I look at Mike, I'm kind of in disbelief

about how far he's came.

Now you're being a schemer and a scumbag.

You're a crock of [bleep]! I'm not-- I don't give a [bleep].

You [bleep] suck!

Yeah, so I'm lying? I'm lying?

And you're the worst friend I have ever had.

Yeah, all right. [bleep]

[Vinny] He's, like, completely turned his life around.

I'm proud of him, and of course, we want to support him,

especially with his wedding.

We [bleep] with him, but he's an inspirational story.

[Mike] But this is really weighing on my mind that,

you know, do I include Ronnie?

Because I wanna do the right thing.

I want to include him, but...

is it too much for him to take on right now?

[Pauly D] He's dealing with a lot right now.

[Mike] I'm on the fence right now,

Ronnie being in the bridal party,

because he's going through a lot.

So, right now, I don't know what to think.

If you want to do it,

I say do whatever makes you happy,

but set your expectations at the right level.

[Mike] I can't leave him out.

And I don't want to put too much

on his plate either, you know?

I know he's trying to get his-- [Pauly D] He's got a lot going on.

[Mike] He's got a lot going on.

He's getting his own life together.

And for me to put another,

maybe, responsibility on him

might be a disservice to all--

you know, our whole friendship.

[Pauly D] You should invite him.

He's definitely gonna be invited to the wedding,

you know what I'm saying?

Wait, does he get a plus one? No!

He does not get a plus one.

Ronnie does not get a plus one.

[Pauly D] Just the baby.

Yeah, just the baby.

You can come, but your baby mamas can't.

Sorry, she's too much drama, bro.

All right, all right, listen.

Let's put it in real quick. M!

V.

P! Wedding squads!

[Pauly D] 'Bout to hit this boardwalk.

Go, dear! Jesus. [chuckling]

Got you good, got you good, got you good.

Oh, yeah!

It's so clean. [Pauly D] Yo, it's all new now.

It's really nice here. I know, listen, they--

they really went through a lot with Sandy.

The boardwalk has definitely gotten a face-lift.

It is all brand-new since Sandy, and you gotta have

some love and respect for some bounce back game, okay?

Kinda like Big Daddy Sitch.

I have a legendary bounce back game.

Look how they redone this. Oh, God, my butt's showing.

This place is beautiful. Look at the-- everything is--

[Vinny] Deena, we got you something!

[all] Oh!

We got you something!

[Pauly D] Hey, look at that!

[Deena] Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

We got you this. Here, honey! Sit down.

[Snooki] Take a load off.

I feel weird! [laughing]

[Snooki] We've done this before, remember?

[beeping]

I can't take this beeping.

Nicole. Whoa!

Oh, [bleep], I can't get up the hill.

That beeping noise. I hate it!

Thanks for this, guys.

Everything's new.

Let's go on this one.

[men] Ahh!

[Pauly D] I didn't know it went this fast!

[laughter]

[Snooki] Wait! Vin's face! [laughing]

[Vinny] I wanna play basketball.

Guarantee I win something.

[all] Oh!

[laughter]

What are you doing? No, no, no, no, no. No! No, no, no.

[all shouting]

[Snooki] Baller!

[Pauly D] Oh, I didn't know we'd dip like this!

She wasn't ready!

Ooh, mama! Whoa!

[Snooki screams]

[laughter]

He twisted his ankle!

He twisted his ankle! [laughing]

[Mike] It's raining!

[JWoww] Well, it'll wash away all the chlamydia.

[Angelina] Going, what's the plan?

[Snooki] Whoa!

[Angelina] Can we go to Spicy's and eat?

[Pauly D] Let's get it, let's get it.

[JWoww] Dee, are you having flashbacks?

[Deena] Yeah. [chuckling]

I never would have thought in a million years

I'd be going back to where I got arrested.

Didn't we pick you up and you didn't know what day it was?

Or was that Nicole?

[Snooki] That was me. Oh. [coughs]

Oh, my God, it's just like memories

just floating all back to me.

I was still drunk from the night before.

Let's run.

I want to run everywhere! Yay!

[waitress] We have virgin daiquiris,

pina coladas, and margaritas.

Oh, she's far from a virgin, honey.

[all chuckling]

And then I ran from the cop,

because I thought we were playing tag. [chuckles]

I'm running away from you.

[officer] Come here. Come here! No!

Yes, come here. Come here.

No, I don't wanna be in trouble. No!

It was a whole thing.

[Pauly D] What's up, my friend?

[owner] What's going on?

Thanks for having us back, man.

[owner] Memory lane! Welcome back.

[Deena] Hi!

Welcome back. [Deena] Hello.

Thanks for letting us come in here.

Welcome back, welcome.

So, I just wanted to apologize

for what happened six years ago.

[Pauly D] Wow. [Deena] I've grown as a person,

and I was under the influence,

and I shouldn't have been

so disruptive in your restaurant.

[owner] I accept your apology.

[all cheering]

[Pauly D] Wait, so is she banned still?

[owner] The state of New Jersey banned her for two years.

[all shouting]

[Snooki] Ooh!

Yeah, I knew I was banned. [chuckles]

Have fun. Have fun. [Pauly D] Thank you. Thank you.

[Deena] Thank you. [JWoww] Thank you so much.

[Vinny] Now, remember when Nicole got punched in the face?

Get your [bleep] ugly a*s out of our faces--

[man] Whoa, whoa!

[Snooki sobbing]

How do you forget that?

Where was that? Where did you get hit? What place?

Beachcomber. Beachcomber.

It's insane.

[Vinny]Yeah. What a scumbag.

I was the outcast the first time I lived with the roomies.

They hated me until I got punched in the face.

And we knew, like, from then

that we were gonna be besties.

We love you, Snooks. We love each other.

You get that? We're like one big family.

[Snooki] Now I know that they all--

they all love me, like I love them.

Like, I stuck up for them,

that's why I got hit in the face.

And I care about everybody in this house,

so now they all feel the same way about me.

And today we're still a family,

and we're closer than ever, but we're still a*s[bleep].

Yo, this was mad fun, though,

but I think we should find, like, a summer house somewhere.

[Mike] Hell, yeah. Like a house.

This was real fun.

Like a house-house?

Yeah, like a summer house.

And I feel like we should get something nicer.

Yes! Something more for -year-olds.

Yes. [Mike]Yes!

'Cause we're classy now.

Wherever we go, I just want to room with Angelina.

That's all I ask.

[Mike]Oh, God. [JWoww] You said it!

That's all I ask. That's all I ask. You said it.

Do not put that into the universe,

'cause that will happen now. It's out there.

I feel like the roommates just love to tease me.

I guess it's something that they do when they love somebody,

I don't know.

Salud! Salud!

To Angelina's lips, salud!

[laughter]

[Angelina] But listen, hey, I'll take it.

[chuckles]

Let's roll out, fellas. And fella. Fellas.

[Snooki] Where we going? [Mike] Shore Store.

[Snooki] To the Shore Store.

[JWoww] Oh, I'm full!

[Snooki] Thank you.

[woman] Bye.Thanks.

[Mike] We're out here on these Jersey streets right now.

[Vinny] Yo, we're here for our shirts, let's go!

[Snooki] Lock it in! Get my shirt!

Yo!

Have no fear, the guidos are here!

The squad needs to hit the Shore Store one last time

for a little bit of a shopping trip,

and to say thank you to Danny

because, at the end of the day,

our time here at the Shore has been... magical.

Danny, we heard there is a new decal on-- on these streets.

[Danny] Let me show you the prints, guys.

Oh, cool! "Spiral Squad."

[all cheering]

I would've put that on my booty shorts.

[Danny] Well, I got one for Ron.

[Mike] "Ronpage." [Vinny] Oh, damn!

[Deena] Yes!

[all cheering]

That's a good-- that's a good one.

This for Vinny. [Vinny] What we got, what we got?

[Pauly D] "You Cheated," bro.

[JWoww] "You cheated"!

[Mike] Ah! [laughing]

You guys are haters. Hold this? I gotta tie my shoe.

[laughing] Nah, I'm good.

[Mike] "You Cheated," bro.

You all right? You all right?

[all] "Pass the French Fries"!

[all cheering]

Yes! [Vinny] That's a good one.

You secretly love us.

Danny, you gonna miss us?

[JWoww] Well, we appreciate the one night.

It was great to see you guys. Yeah, it was really fun.

[Snooki] Yeah, thank you, Danny.

I hope you had fun at the house.

Dude, yes. Oh, we had so much fun.

[Snooki] Danny, it's very clean.

We kept that thing pristine.

Really, it's very clean? You're not leaving a mess?

[Snooki] No, the house is very clean.

[Angelina] Yeah, nothing happened in there, at all.

[all shouting and laughing]

[Snooki] I feel like we k*lled someone,

and we're gonna bury the body and not tell anyone.

If he only knew, we're hot messes still.

[Angelina] What should I put on Chris's shirt?

A [bleep] in a cake.

[laughing]

Teach me how to make one.

[Snooki] Angelina's pressing for the first time.

I wanted to see if I could do it right.

[Danny] I'm not insured for this.

Back on hangers.

Yeah, put her back on hanger duty.

[Angelina] I lived in Seaside for, like, a short period of time.

I never actually worked in the Shore Store,

and I never, ever pressed a shirt.

It's the glue. Oh!

[Vinny] What the hell are you doing?

[Pauly D] Oh, my God!

Guys, she pressed it upside down, backwards.

Oh, Angelina!

[Pauly D] That's the worst thing.

Angelina!

We're leaving. Why did you do that?

[Pauly D] You ruined the machine.

You [bleep] the whole machine up.

Do you know how long that takes to clean?

[Mike] Hurricane Angelina,

devastating everything in her path.

Sorry.

She's already ruined a funfetti cake,

and now at the Shore Store, she ruined a press.

She's a mush!

Dan, she [bleep] your [bleep] up. [chuckling]

Oh, my God! I'm gonna die.

[Pauly D] Angelina! Get her out of here! You're fired!

[Angelina] Oh, my God!

[Pauly D] Angelina! Get her out of here! You're fired!

Oh, my God.

Dan, she [bleep] your [bleep] up. [chuckling]

I can't bel-- [Angelina] What the [bleep]?

This is gonna take [bleep] forever to fix.

How? You just push it off, no?

Push it off? It's degrees.

Angelina has no business pressing a shirt.

She has no experience, and of course,

her first pressing, she [bleep] up the press.

Oh, [bleep]! Oh! About that.

Oh, my... [Pauly D] About that.

I think Danny had the right idea

by firing Angelina the first time around.

[Snooki gasps] [Danny] Throw it in there.

[Deena] What a mess. [JWoww] What a stain.

[Pauly D] Damn, she ruined the whole [bleep].

Gotta go. [Angelina] Oh, my God.

[JWoww] Bye, girl.

We are not affiliated. We don't know her!

[laughing]

[Danny] I was actually having a good day.

Just leave it alone. Just leave it alone.

[all] Oh! Just get out, all right?

This'll sound familiar: Get out, all right?

[all shouting]

Bye, Danny. Love you! [Vinny] Bye, Danny.

[Pauly D] Sorry she ruined your press.

[Snooki] I can't take Angelina anywhere.

I'm like, I got-- I gotta put her on a leash.

Don't be mad at me. Stop.

Don't be mad at you? You ruined my stuff. You're leavin'.

Oh, stop. You can scrape it off.

[Pauly D] Can't believe you did that, bro.

[Snooki] Angelina, the worst!

[laughter] [Angelina] It's always me.

[Vinny] She's like a [bleep] wrecking ball.

[JWoww] Angelina, way to make your mark in the Shore Store, dude.

[Angelina] Holy, [bleep] my life.

[Pauly D] Yo, you put that thing in backwards.

[Mike] It's been real, Seaside. Yes.

[JWoww] We were here for like a blink of an eye.

Like, it just... [snaps fingers] like that and it's over.

[Angelina] Someone's eyelashes are on the table.

Probably one of them h*s.

[Angelina] If you wanna re-use them.

[Snooki] Eww.

It's almost closure. Like...

we came, we saw, we conquered,

but now it's on to a new one.

Smells funk in here too.

[Deena] Yeah, I don't know what happened.

Oh, let's get out of this house.

I don't want to waste this, so I'm just gonna...

[Snooki] Let's upgrade.

[Vinny] MVP.

[Pauly D] MVP, we out. We out.

[Vinny] This little trip to the Shore was amazing.

You know, we all got to go back to

our original stomping grounds together.

We laughed. We reminisced.

Seaside is, like, the special place for us.

Bye, Angelina.

Wait, wait. Wait, what's this? What's this?

[women screaming]

[Snooki] We did it!

They hugged!

[Angelina] See?

I knew you really wanted me, Vinny. I knew it.

[all talking]

I thought he touched her boob or something.

Oh, you're so red right now-- look how red she is!

[women talking]

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

So red!

Oh, my God. You guys are dumb. Stop.

[JWoww] Oh! [Mike] Bye, guys.

[JWoww] Bye! See you next week!

[Snooki] Bye, guys! [Deena] Bye! See ya soon!

[Snooki] Love you!

♪♪

You should bang him. Hell, no.

Again. Hell, no.

And again. I'm engaged.

And again.

[Angelina] I'm engaged.

♪ Dancing in the moonlight ♪

[Mike] Yes! Shift's over!

The squad reunited in the motherland.

We've made a impact on the Jersey Shore, um...

as well as the world. [chuckling]

You guys drive safe. Text me.

[Vinny] Yeah, yeah. You too. [Mike] Yes, sir.

All right. [Vinny] Have a good trip.

Have a safe flight. Thank you. Thank you.

[Pauly D] It's so crazy, this is the last time I'm gonna be back

in Seaside at the Shore house.

These are the special moments that we remember.

Bye, house! Bye!

[Snooki] See ya never! See ya never!

[JWoww] I'm good with leaving the Shore house.

I forgot how old and wrinkly this thing is.

It's like a old man.

[Snooki] I definitely would love to be in this house years from now.

I mean, I can do this forever.

Like, every summer, until I'm like years old.

[Angelina] All right, I love you. Deener!

Love you even more. I'll see you soon.

She's like, "Bye!"

[Snooki] Overall, this was an amazing vacation.

I had so much fun. I laughed my a*s off.

Just being and careless?

I'll take that for a day.

[JWoww] Bye, Seaside.

[Pauly D] I hate goodbyes.

[Vinny] Our lives will never be the same again

'cause of this [bleep] thing.

[JWoww] My life is perfect now because of being here.

So it sucks that I'm leaving. [crying]

[Vinny] Seaside, Seaside!

A'ight, I'm out.

[JWoww] Bye. Bye!

Love you!

I want this thing forever, this right here.

[Vinny] Yeah.

This was a life-changing experience,

whether you like it or not.

Hey, maybe we should get a shore house next summer.

[all cheering]

Let's do it! See you next summer!

[Pauly D] Let's do it. Let's do it!

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na na-na-na-na ♪