02x23 - Not Again

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

[cheers and applause]

[Mike] This is the best surprise ever.

When Laurens is around, I feel like

the universe is whole again.

[Pauly] Vinny, Ronnie's pregnant.

He knocked up Jen again. Oh my God.

Bro, pull the [bleep] out.

What the [bleep] is wrong with you? [men laughing]

[Vinny] How do we do this one? This is hard.

Point at Ron! Yeah! I.F.F.!

We didn't wanna bring any strippers around Ronnie,

'cause how he gets. [Vinny laughing]

[Ronnie] They wanna make my life

the butt of the joke.

Enough is enough.

♪♪

Yeah, buddy!

Party's here!

The Situation is under construction.

This might not have been the best idea.

We're so classy now.

On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

Get the frick outta here, you crazy!

Uh, hello?

♪♪

[Angelina] All right, goodnight, Ron.

[Ronnie] Goodnight.

♪♪

[bleats]

♪ Ronnie Creek ♪

♪ The man, the legend ♪

♪♪

♪ Everyone knows ♪

♪ His name ♪

♪♪

♪ Ronnie Creek ♪♪

[Ronnie] It actually really hit me

last night, I am an open book.

Everyone knows what's going on in my life,

and it's a thing in the house now.

And they're always pointing out things

that's going on in Ronnie's life, you know?

And it's like, I'm not gonna be a brunt

of a joke of-- of people.

We're gonna make him relapse right now.

Listen, just pass the French fries.

Just pass the French fries. Oh!

So, Ron, you been on social media lately?

[Mike] Oh, wow.

Is Jen coming?

Tonight? Yeah, she's gonna come tonight.

Are we taking her phone and her car?

[laughter]

Can you move it? Yeah, it's not like...

Yeah, it's still a real drag, though.

Pun intended?

[all] Aw! What a [bleep].

[Ronnie] Why isn't everyone, you know,

joking about Jenni going through a divorce?

Like, i-- it just shows that there's just a lack of respect

that they have for me in my life.

[Pauly] All in all, the whole trip was a success.

[Vinny] Yeah, I like it up here.

I do too. Except for the flies.

Coulda did without the flies.

Good morning, waking up here at the dude ranch.

It is our last day here.

I'm so glad that we came and rescued Situation,

'cause he was this close from not even coming at all.

And, uh, I am a cowboy now

and cowboy gotta go eat breakfast.

Until next time... howdy.

Howdy's not like aloha. It's, like, just hello.

[knocks]

Howdy, partner.

Do you wanna come to breakfast?

[phone dings]

Something's going on. Ronnie's in a funk.

I'm trying to talk to him when he was on that porch,

he wouldn't come from this position.

Maybe he's texting his business partners.

[phone dings] Yo, when Ron

is in mad text mode, he's oblivious to the world.

There could be like, a bus crash,

he wouldn't even know it 'cause he's stuck in his phone.

So all that tells me is some drama going down.

It's starting to become normal practice for him when he's in a funk.

When he's actually good, I worry.

Let's go wake these girls up.

Hi, Angelina, would you like to come to breakfast?

I'm ready. [Pauly] Thanks, D.

Angelina, stop putting on too much makeup.

It attracts the bears. [Deena laughs]

And Angelina, don't spray your vag*na.

You know what that attracts?

[Angelina] What? Trout.

You guys stick out like a sore thumb out here.

I blend right in. Like, I look like a local.

It all comes from my roots.

[phone clicking] [Pauly] They were thinking about

using me for the cover of the magazine

for Stony Creek Ranch, but I had to turn it down.

The fee was too low, you know?

[Vinny] This whole trip, Ron has been

getting more and more into his shell.

Like, just curling up and, uh, not saying anything.

The spiral is a process, and it leads to this point.

♪♪

[phone dings] [Pauly] I don't know exactly

what's going on with Ronnie right now.

I just know it has to do with Jen,

because his head is buried in his phone,

and I can see that he's texting Jen.

I don't even wanna know what kind of stupid [bleep]

Ron got into this time.

Morning.

Hey, good morning, girls.

[phone clicking] I'll make a plate.

That's what's up.

[Deena] Yeah.

Oh my God.

All I hear is "Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie."

And here, it's like, how many times have they asked,

"How are you doing? How's Jen? How's the baby?"

Hi, Ron.

Everything all right?

Yeah, I just wanna go the [bleep] home.

[Nicole] Where's Mike and Laurens?

[Pauly] Stabbing.

Do you think they made a baby?

[Mike] Honey, I had so much fun last night.

I was so surprised, I had no idea you were coming.

I'm so glad you came.

Well, honeys, let's go get some breakfast.

I'm hungrys, come on. I'm starving. I need a coffee.

They really got me last night.

They brought me... Aw.

Ragazzina's here.

And it was the best surprise ever.

Let's ride out into the... Let's ride out.

Let's ride out into the sunset, honeys.

Let's ride out. All right, girl. Mm.

[Deena] Here they are! I'll go sit over here.

♪ Mike and Lauren, sitting in a stabbing cabin ♪

Here, no, no. You both sit here, I'll move over there.

Okay, okay. Did you make a baby?

[Mike] The night in the love shack last night

was nothing short of magical.

I can't really divulge too much

because I have to protect my queen's honor.

I just made that whole [bleep] up

'cause she had her period, and, uh, that's it.

But I just made it up.

Mike, did you like your party?I did.

It was such a great surprise. You guys really got me.

The service here was great the whole time.

Yeah.They were so nice to us.

[Deena] They were very, very nice here.

[indistinct chattering]

Ronnie, are you excited to go home?

See the baby? He's over it.

I could tell. I could tell it's one of those days.

[Mike] There's something going on with Ronnie.

I really can't put my foot on it, or my-- or my hand it?

Is it supposed to be the foot? Is that what it is?

Was that the saying? "I can't put my foot on it?"

Um, but something's up.

Nicole takes him out

every time we're on vacation.

She takes him out every time.

Takes him out for the count?

Takes him out. [chuckles]

[scattered laughter]

[Deena]What? ♪ Awkward ♪

[Pauly] I don't know what's going on,

but there's no hope for us giving him advice anymore.

We've given him so much advice, I can't even...

I can't even give it anymore.

I will not do it because

you can't help somebody that doesn't wanna accept the help.

I miss JWoww. [Pauly] Same.

♪♪

[Ronnie] I know that when I walk out, they're gonna talk [bleep].

But why does it gotta be when Ronnie's not in the room?

It's like-- it's like kiddish,

it's very childish, like, you know, it's like,

you got something to say, [bleep] say it.

♪♪

Where'd he go? Bathroom?

[overlapping chatter]

It's very negative.

What in the world?

I did-- I did sense a bit of tension last night.

[Nicole] He's miserable. Miserable.

And gone. He's been in--

he's been in his phone all morning,

and all the texts are blue, there's no response.

Miles and miles of blue text, nobody's responding.

She's not texting him back, it's all blue.

I've never seen that many blue texts in my whole life.

My life. It's really all blue?

It's all blue.

The-- the change from--

[Pauly] It's amazing. It's ama-- it's crazy.

[Vinny] How many times do we have to go through this with Ron?

How many times do we have to go through it with him?

Every time? Every single time we hang out with him,

are we just gonna have to go through

an emotional roller coaster with him and his life?

Do you wanna go check on him?No!

I feel bad for Ron, I really do.

But it's like, what the frick, dude?

Like, it's our last breakfast.

[bleep] no.

[Nicole] I'm like, no, guy.

I'm not doing that.

Bro, please.

I wish he was on better behavior,

a little bit more positive.

We're here for Mike. Like, stick it out, dude.

Like, stop being selfish. He's out of his mind.

It's so repetitive, I'm-- I'm beyond over it.

Ronnie, do you wanna be with this girl?

Yes or no? Because you're gonna have to fight for your baby.

For real, like, it's a lot for me to take in.

Like, and for me to be this perfect guy, and be this,

like... this, like-- even Pauly said, like,

"Bro, I don't understand, 'cause like, you gotta like..."

[Deena] Ron, no one's perfect.

No one's perfect, Ron.

Due to the recent order of events,

I don't-- I don't think you should be with-- with Jen.

I'm not gonna check on that. I'm not gonna waste my energy

on somebody that doesn't even wanna accept it.

That is a lost cause. The only person

that could fix him is himself at this point.

You all right, Ronnie? I'm just tired, I wanna go home.

So, I can't have a moment of silence, of just...

But you could also communicate that.

Shouldn't Jenni be here for this conversation?

'Cause she's the one getting a divorce,

and everyone's acting like it's not [bleep] happening?

Oh, damn.

All right, listen...

The guido tuxedo, fuggedaboutit!

[Vinny] This definitely feels right.

I mean, I look good. I'm-- I think

I'm wearing this to the wedding.

You have any gravy

I could stain my shirt with?

[laughter]

♪ I am such a scholar and a poet ♪

♪ Pop another bottle, I'mma po' it ♪

♪ Life is full of drama, and I ain't lookin' for it ♪

♪ I'm just lookin' for a... have it sent my way ♪♪

He's miserable. Miserable.

I don't-- I don't know what to do to help him at this point.

I don't know. I honestly don't know. I don't know either.

He needs to just get his [bleep] together.

♪♪

Me and him stayed up till : in the morning.

[Deena] Doing what?

[Angelina] Just talking and talking.

And what'd he talk about?

Just, we were talking about life. [Nicole]Life?

[Angelina] I don't believe that I have to tell any of the roomies

the truth about what I'm talking about with Ron.

I feel like I'm like, one of his good friends in the house.

And I feel like, you know, um, I got Ron's back.

You guys wanna roll out? [Angelina] Yeah.

Let's go pack. [Pauly] Let's go.

I feel like a lot of people need to mind their own business

and just chill out and look at their own relationships,

look in their own lives.

Don't throw stones at [bleep] glass houses.

Because you know what? No one here is perfect.

[Nicole] Ron is such a good time.

I love Ron's energy. It makes me happy.

[Pauly] This state that Ronnie is in right now,

the best thing we could do is let him be.

Honey, we have to go pack in the other areas.

[Lauren] Oh my God, I thought there was a stripper in here.

[laughing, stammering]

It's Mini Ragazzina's in here.

[chuckles] I thought there was a stripper over here!

I'm gonna take that home. Oh my God, this is the best thing ever.

Ron, you finishing packing right now?

I'm done already. Oh, good for you.

[Nicole] I could just tell when he's not in the mood to talk.

[Deena]Yeah.

I just know him, and he doesn't wanna be bothered.

Well, I knew he was in a mood, and I was like, why--

this is Mike's day, like, what the [bleep]?

What's happening?

He's mad about something, but what?

[Deena] If he's in a funk, I don't even ask him

how he is, because he gets annoyed.

So, you have to, like, walk on eggshells around Ron,

especially now with everything going on in his life.

Ronnie actually started acting weird

when we were playing the Heads Up game.

I know, then he's been in a funk ever since.

[Lauren] Is Ronnie okay?

I don't know, honey, he's-- he's been like this

for over a year now, same... same pattern.

One day he's good, and the next day he's not.

I feel bad.

Why would he be upset? We make jokes all the time.

He's not a bad person, but he-- he does self-sabotage himself.

Very defensive.

What's up, fellers? Chillin'.

[Mike] Dude, I don't know.

I don't know what's up with him.

He's... going through it. [Pauly] I was just saying.

[Deena] What was Ron talking about yesterday?

[Angelina] I really don't wanna [bleep] throw this kid under the bus.

But, um, he's upset that...

everybody talks about his relationships

and nobody talks about Jenni's divorce.

But you know what? Jenni and her family isn't here.

He brings his bull[bleep] to our vacations.

And that's why we talk about it.

Exactly. [Deena] He [bleep] up.

Like he did in Miami.

Brings girls home

when he has a [bleep] pregnant woman at home.

How are we not gonna talk about it?

We have to talk about his [bleep] because it's out there.

Let's be real. Everybody in the world

saw all of his [bleep],

so he can't get mad when we bring things up.

Like, I don't get it. [fly buzzing]

Like, maybe you know what? Then get your [bleep] together,

and nobody's gonna talk about anything.

And then he's, like, trying to take other people down with him.

Like, just...

let [bleep] go.

He needs Jesus.

And it's like on-off, on-off, on-off.

Mm-hmm.

[Deena] Oh, hey, guys.

[Mike] Hey!

[Deena] Hello.

[Mike] Go get Ron.

Yeah, we're gonna see how that's going.

[Mike] Yeah, see the state of the union right now.

Honestly, I just wish Ron would fake his emotions.

Like, he... he really wears his heart on his sleeve.

And if he's upset, he's upset, and he doesn't give a [bleep].

Ron, are you all right?

Okay. Are you sleeping?

Mm. All right.

[Angelina] We're gonna go by the water if you wanna come with us.

[Nicole] [bleep], what's going on?

And even if you are in a [bleep] mood,

snap out of it and, like,

be here for Mike because this is Mike's trip.

So even if you're, like, annoyed, act like you care.

Deena, what's-- what's happening in there?

He's not happy.

What-- for what reason?

Is he facing some sort of jail time or something?

[Deena chuckling] I have-- yeah. [Mike laughing]

[Deena] You know? Things could be worse.

Did he just catch an eight-month bid or something?

[Nicole]Hi. Hey.

Are you ready to go? Yeah.

We're all sitting outside. Do you wanna come out?

Sure.

Why are you so sad?

I'm just [bleep] tired. [scoffing]

You're just tired? Yeah.

You look like your cat just died.

Ron just looks miserable still.

Dude, what's going on?

Do you wanna talk about it before we leave?

Because obviously, we're not gonna see each other

until Mike's wedding.

We just wanna make sure you're okay, dude.

Smile.

So pretty. [Deena] Mm-hmm.

[Mike] You all right, Ronnie?

I'm just tired, I wanna go home.

[Mike] Just tired? [Ronnie]Yeah.

[Nicole sighs]

[Nicole] I don't know what to do.

[Ronnie] I feel like I'm surrounded

by people that I can't really talk to.

Because they're supposed to be my friends,

but I'm the butt of everyone's jokes.

And then when things are great,

they don't really wanna give a [bleep].

So, it's like, why am I gonna drain myself even more

to have a conversation that I don't wanna have right now?

I'll have the conversation when I'm ready

to [bleep] have the conversation.

There's nothing to talk about.

It's very awkward.

So, I can't have a moment of silence, of just...

No, no, you-- you obviously

have the right to... to have your moment.

But you could also communicate that.

Shouldn't Jenni be here for this conversation?

[Mike] Oh, damn.

[Deena] Why is that a thing?

Because she's the one getting a divorce,

and everyone's acting like it's not [bleep] happening.

I just get agitated because we all know stuff about each other,

and it just seems like everyone just wants

to put my [bleep] out there.

It's like, nobody else has their own lives.

It's always Ronnie's life, and they're always pointing out

things that's going on in Ronnie's life.

So it's like, starting to get to a point, like, enough is enough.

But everyone's worried about why I'm not talking because

all I've done is talk for the last [bleep] seven months.

Or, no one's agreeing?

No? Okay. Exactly.

Well...

it's been real.

Oh, yeah! Time to go home, yeah! Oh, stop!

My God! Pauly! Angelina!

[Pauly] The van's here! We're out.

[Mike] Well, on that note,

let's get the [bleep] outta here.

[Deena] Well, that was awkward.

Why is he bringing up Jenni's divorce though?

Because he's trying to deflect off his [bleep].

Like, [bleep] off.

Come on, honey. Are you ready?

[Mike] I'm never gonna give up on Ron, okay?

I want things to turn around for him.

I'm rooting for him.

I know he has a steep climb ahead of him.

I love a good comeback.

[Nicole] Bye, country!

[Deena] Should be a long [bleep] ride.

♪♪

♪ Ninety-nine bottles of-- ♪No.

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Something calling me ♪♪

[Pauly] Where is this place? [Mike] New York City.

In the city? What do we gotta wear?

The wifey has already picked out

the whole tuxedo situation for us. Wow, perfect.

[Mike] So today I'm taking my best men

to get fitted for our tuxes.

What if we don't like what she picked out?

Lauren picks out your clothes, not mine.

[laughter]

[Ronnie] Where's the wedding?

[Vinny] It's gonna be in a church, right?

Or no? No, sh-- no.

I'd have to get, like, my sacraments.

You don't have all the sacraments?

They kicked me out around... around...

Around high school? Yeah.

[Pauly] Well, we could baptize you.

We'll dip his head in Ron-Ron juice.

[laughter]

[Vinny] I haven't seen Ronnie

since the dude ranch when he was spiraling, acting weird.

But today he seems in good spirits,

so I'm gonna leave that alone.

And if he wants to ever bring it up,

I'm there for him.

But today is ultimately about Mike.

Yesterday when I was driving home,

I ended up, like, somehow scratching my eye,

just because it was itching.

And now, I feel like I messed my eye socket up today.

[laughter] I'm like, what the [bleep] is going on?

Have to wear a patch to the wedding.

[Ronnie] I'm still upset with everyone,

but at the same time, I regret a lot of the [bleep]

at the dude ranch.

So out of respect for Mike, I'm gonna keep my mouth shut,

and you know, I'll figure the [bleep] out later.

Mike, can you hit "Mode" on that thing

so it doesn't blow on the floor?

Just on the face? Yeah, 'cause it's blowing on my back.

Yeah, he doesn't like you blowing on his back,

just on his face. [laughter]

♪♪

[Mike] It's tuxedo time!

Big Daddy Sitch does not do off the rack, okay?

Big Daddy Sitch does custom.

And Robbie and Company do the best custom suits.

The missus gave me strict instructions...

Okay. ...to take care of the fitting today.

I'm getting this one right here. Nice.

Yeah, that looks good. He's sweating already. What is that, wool?

Velvet? [Pauly] You look like a chooch.

[laughter]

I look like Prince.

[Mike] The answer is no.

He looks like Austin Powers.

Let's-- let's get back into something that, uh,

has already been picked out for you guys.

[laughter]

Let's go put our tuxedos on.

[Vinny] You need a foundation to build a house,

to build a guido for a traditional Italian wedding.

Oh, wow.

He needs to be wearing a guinea tee.

♪♪

We got the guido tuxedos on.

[chuckling] Oh no. Come on.

The guido tuxedo, fuggedaboutit!

[Vinny] This definitely feels right.

I mean, I look good. I'm-- I think

I'm wearing this to the wedding.

You have any gravy

I could stain my shirt with? [laughter]

♪♪

Mike, how do you feel about the next season?

[groaning]

Oh my God, you look just like him!

♪♪

It's just, like, ironic that we're here

for Mike's wedding fitting,

but, like, we got the Mike uniform on.

Oh, yeah.

[Pauly] Looks like Halloween.

So, let me show you a couple of the custom things we did.

You can flip your collar. Oh.

And you can put it on. Flip the collar.

We are going all out for this big Italian wedding.

I have "The Situation" by my situation.

[Vinny] Oh! [Pauly] Wow, that's dope.

Wait, that's gonna be on my p*nis?

No, no, no. Oh, that's just yours. Okay, good.

I thought every one of them were gonna say "The Situation."

Can you embroider mine and make it say "Vinny"?

[laughter]

Look at you, Mike. All sharpened up.

He cleans up nice.

[Ronnie] Give me a little twirl.

We've all gotten fresh to death together.

T-shirt time, the shirt before the shirt.

But right now, Mike looks like a grown man.

You know, he actually looks his age.

.

[laughter]

Not gonna lie. The hair works now with this look.

Oh, thank you.

[Vinny] See, when Mike wears, like, the young kid clothes

with the old man haircut, doesn't really match up for me.

But now, like, that it's all together, it's great.

He looks like my uncle.

Now, guys, you can move in these, right?

'Cause I was thinking about a choreographed dance...

Oh, God. [Pauly] Oh, word?

...that we may be getting into.

Awkward white guy dance?Yeah.

I always wanted to make

this particular day special for the missus.

If myself and the best men could do a little bit

of a choreographed dance, it's gonna be perfect.

Like, all of us do it together,

and she's sitting there chilling and has no idea.

[Vinny] Like, this is crazy.

We can't even, like, leave a bar at the same time,

let alone do a choreographed dance together.

Hopefully in the next couple weeks,

we can get a day or two of, uh, of some practice,

and maybe we can make something happen.

[Mike] Big Daddy Sitch is a natural born dancer.

Little fact be told, Big Daddy Sitch here

was on "Dancing With the Stars."

I got a couple rounds in there.

All right, let's put the jackets on, boys,

and we'll take a photo.

You know what, to be honest, despite my circumstances,

everything is coming together so perfectly right now.

These guys really have been there for me for everything,

including every part of my engagement,

which was so special.

They're just an unbelievable support system,

and I'm so grateful that these boys are my best men.

All right, so Mike, the guys look good, man.

They do, I'm-- I'm very happy. What do you think?

You need-- you want anything else?

I feel like a million dollars,

and y'all know I ain't got a million dollars at home.

All right, thank you. Thank you.

Oh yeah, weddings, yeah!

So, we break off to do our freestyle.

[all] Hey! Hey! Hey!

Freak it. Roll it.

Mike, do the jump kick. What the hell was that?

Whoa, whoa, he just got the floor pregnant.

♪♪

[Ronnie] What kind of dancing is this?

[Pauly] Pssh, I have no idea.

Like ballroom dancing, or like, salsa, or...?

No, I have no idea.

[Vinny] We are heading to our dance lessons

for Mike's wedding.

We're gonna have a choreographed dance

that the groomsmen and Mike are gonna do for Laurens.

When would we do this,

and why would we do this, and how would we do this?

I mean, usually they [bleep] around,

like, they'll play like Ginuwine, like,

or some [bleep] for the bride.

Like kids do it, right? And I know the girls will dance.

Chooches-- kids and chooches, usually.

♪♪

There you go. Yes! Hey!

Oh yeah. Get in that-- that old school vibe.

My dance style is... is what you call raw talent.

Ooh! Yeah, you could do that. Turn it.

Lean back with it. Hey, yeah, that's easy.

Pah! Nice. How you feel?

Y'all seem a bit experienced, but, uh...

You know what? It...

...but that hasn't scared me before.

I believe it's too late to turn back now.

[Pauly] Hey, whatever Mikes wants, Mikes gets.

[Vinny] All right, fellers.

Let's go dance. Let's do this.

Yo! What's up, what's up?

Hey! One, two, three.

Got a little surprise for... for the missus right now.

Let's do a little freestyle. Yeah, yeah, like, let's--

Get comfortable, we'll get comfortable.

Let's kinda, like, shake it off.

So, we break off to do our freestyle.

Obviously, like, we do that in the club anyway, so we got this.

[overlapping chatter, laughter]

[woman #] Keep dancing! Hey, yes!

We just fist pump.

There you go! Hey!

[men] Hey! Hey! Hey!

Freak it. Roll it.

Hey! Hey!

He's still freaking! He's still freaking!

Oh, my bad. I can't-- once I start, I can't stop.

Wow. He's into some kinky [bleep], that boy over there.

My boyfriend was in a Broadway play.

I was in an Off-Broadway play.

Vinny keeps saying he was in an Off-Broadway play.

[woman #] Oh! Oh!

It must have been pretty far off of Broadway.

[Pauly] Mike, do the jump kick. What the hell was that?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, he just got the floor pregnant.

Right when the music stopped. Hell, you wear a condom?

So, I think we should do choreography now, so let's go through it.

Oh, boy. This could be a complete [bleep] show disaster.

One time on the right. One time on the left.

One-- two times on the right. One, and two. Good.

And two times on the right, again. Yes.

Yeah, then we gonna hop it up. You gonna give me a jump.

Punch down, only two this time.

You gonna roll from the left to the right, point it up.

Oh, wait, wait. Two times, two times, up.

Roll, roll, roll. Go right, left... Oh, damn.

...around, and clap. Hey, hey, hey. Yes.

Now, we do two of 'em. We go right, left. Take it around.

[Pauly] These dances are pretty confusing.

It's like one time to the left, two times to the right.

It's a lot to think about right now,

and to getting us all to do it together.

Let's try to speed it up just a tad.

Oh, damn. You can give me a roll it out.

Go right, left, head nod. Use this part, use the middle.

Go from left to right. Four, fix, six, seven, eight.

Mike, don't pull anything.

And down. Go right, left, right, left, and point.

You're first. You gotta be first.

I just said we're going from here. Oh, my bad, my bad.

[Vinny] I'm scared. We're [bleep].

One, two, double-three, four, and jump.

Mike is like a cute little kid trying to learn these dance moves.

And two head nods, go... Go, unh, open, ah!

[Mike] I'm confused.

[Vinny] It requires thinking.

Yo, fall backs, son!

Not Mike's strongest suit.

It requires body, physical activity.

I'm having-- I'm having trouble breathing.

You gotta really make this work.

Whoo, whoo! Together, and...

Oh, damn. Circle, circle, circle.

Think I pulled a hammy just now.

So, um, it's a little tough for Mike to get this down.

Okay, so three weeks is not a long time, okay?

So, you guys have homework to do.

I'm a little worried that I don't know the dance

and I don't really know the steps.

And I know that you guys are gonna try your hardest

for not only me, for us as a squad, as best men.

But I have a couple weeks before the wedding,

and we're just gonna have to put the work in.

Yo, she's not gonna be expecting this kind of dance.

No, she's not. She's gonna love it.

♪♪

[Lauren] So, I feel like I've been training

for this day for years.

Today, myself and Laurens, we have to go

to the castle to meet with the officiants.

It's very important, because they are the ones

that are marrying you.

Hopefully this is gonna be an easy day.

So, I've set up two appointments... Okay.

...with two different officiants,

so you guys can meet.Okay.

And then we'll take it from there. Cool.

Okay, and then after that, I have the florist coming.

Oh. The band coming.

Okay. The DJ coming, the wedding planner coming.

Baker is coming for the cake.

Let's do the officiants, let's pick them... Yeah.

...and then, like, get to the next appointment. Okay.

'Cause we have a long day. All right, yeah.

Oh, damn.

Oh my God, what's happening?

So, this is Nick. Hey, how are you?

Hey, nice to meet you. How are you, Nick?

This is Michael. Hello, Mike.

Michael, how are you? Nice to meet you. Hey, good to meet you.

Basically, I wanna get to know what you want in your ceremony.

And hopefully, when you guys get done, you feel comfortable.

What are your views on marriage?

Well, I think it's, uh... I'm divorced.

Do you know anything about us as a couple, or...

I actually was you, on Halloween.

Now that right there is a situation.

If we really want... We're gonna have to see.

...do you know Nicole is an officiant?

No. I'm-- I'm just saying, I'm just saying.

No.

Hi. Lauren. Hi, Lauren.

How are you? Sam, nice to meet you, congratulations.

Nice to meet you, thank you. How you doing? Mike.

How are you, Mike? Congratulations.

I'm the DJ. Lauren, nice to meet you.

Very nice to meet you. Lauren. Lauren. Nice to meet you.

So, basically, we're the band.

This is a social media station.

I know I wanna walk down the aisle to "Canon in D."

Perfect.We love Coldplay.

We're not doing that at the ceremony.

And this is the boss right here, so...

I love the height and the grandness of it. Yep.

Do you want the clear frame? Or we could do a black or a white folder.

Do you have an opinion, or no?

I think this is better. You do? Okay.

I would have picked that, but I'm letting you pick, 'cause I'm not gonna be crazy.

Thanks for the one decision I've done this whole wedding, thanks.

I don't know anything about this wedding planning process.

But what I do now is that, um...

no, I don't know anything. Um...

And let's just move on...Okay.

...to the next appointment.Okay.

Okay? Is next appointment lunch?

♪♪

[Nicole] All right, Gigi. Come on, Gigi.

Come on, first day of work.

Let's go. You're on the books.

So today, I'm at my store called The Snooki Shop.

Go put the hats over there. All right, hang it.

There you go. Is it soft? Yeah.

Would you buy that? No.

No? Okay, that's great.

[Nicole] At the Shore Store, I always hated working.

I used to run and just go to the bar.

[Ronnie] Nicole, where are you going now?

Aah! I'm going to pee! No, you're not, you're funneling a beer!

So ironic, because now I'm opening my own clothing store.

And what the hell? 'Cause I never worked at the Shore Store.

They call and you go, "Hello, the Snooki Shop,

how can I help you?" Ring! Ring!

The Snooki Shop. Ew, it's the first time you said Snooki!

I'm gonna k*ll myself. Wah, wah.

Do you know what a Snooki is?

No. Thank God.

♪♪

[Vinny] I got a big routine coming up,

and I take this very seriously.

I have a feeling all the guys are gonna depend on me.

♪♪

If they make me look bad, I may never get casted

in an Off-Broadway play again.

♪♪ Yo.

What's up? Yo, I'm over here practicing all by myself.

Oh, you got the dance studio to yourself?

At the dance studio, that's how committed I am.

I know that me and you got this.

You haven't spoken to Ronnie though, right?

No, I haven't spoken to him.

Me neither. So, when am I gonna see you?

I gotta bang out a couple shows quick, and then I'ma be out your way.

All right, cool, well, I'll see you soon. Let me know.

Yeah, yeah, I'll see you soon.

All right, bye. All right, late.

Call Ronnie.

[musical tone]

[automated voice] Your call cannot be completed at this time.

♪♪

[musical tone] You call cannot...

This kid's number is disconnected.

Please try again later. Oh my God.

Well, I guess he's, uh, not practicing.

♪♪

We really have a lot to do still,

since you're only really-- you might be halfway there.

I am a bit starving right now.

There's the groom's suite somewhere over here.

Remember we looked at it?

Remember?What?

Who are you talking to? I wasn't... wasn't talking to anyone.

Are you "what"-ing me? Nothing, I-- I had to reboot real quick.

[scoffs] I had to reboot.

Listen, I like to eat every two to three hours.

There's no time to reboot today.

You know, French fries, chicken nuggets.

I'm fa-- I'm fading.

Pasta, uh, sandwiches.

Let's go over some menu options.

Did you say, uh, food options?

Food options. Something I specialize in.

Finally, the foods. Let's do this.

You wanna do rack of lamb?Yeah.

Crab cakes? Yep.

Beef Wellington? Um, we'll do that.

Ooh! Honey, a waffle station. I love a good short rib.

I'm gonna have filet, yeah. I might have a chicken as well.

Any tastings today? We do not do tastings.

Oh, damn.

Uh, I know, I know. [laughter]

[stammering] My God.

I think my heart just broke.

Uh, excuse me, I... Whew. He needs to reboot for that one.

All right, so I guess that means that

we're gonna have to trust in the chef.

[Ronnie] It was just a bunch of unfortunate events.

[Vinny] The relationship is toxic,

and it's insane staying in it.

[Pauly] Sounds fishy to me.

I got beat up last night in the parking lot.

[Vinny] Are you serious? Swear to God.

[Pauly] Oh, [bleep]. What the [bleep]?

Jen's like bad aura.

You feel like Jen did it? What'd you say?

No, aura. Oh, I thought you said Jen did it.

Oh. Oh... I thought you said Jen did it.

[Jenni] You got a crazy b*tch pregnant!

I don't think he actually can show up

'cause I think he's missing teeth.

[Nicole] He looks homeless. It's, like, sad.

For me as a mother, and seeing what he's posting,

I'm just so turned off. You know, it's nice to

just reach out to somebody, you know what I mean?

We've been reaching out to him for two years now,

and it's the same cycle. We're [bleep] over it.

♪ Just another morning in my life... ♪

[Jenni] To Deena's!

[Meilani] To Deena!

You have chocolate all over your face.

Wipe it. Good job.

How are you? Oh my God, you got so much bigger!

Come-- maybe Aunt Deena has some candy.

See if she has candy? Yeah, she has all the candy.

You look so cute!

I feel like the dude ranch was, like, yesterday,

but it really wasn't.

Hey, come on. Because when you go back to mom life...

Dear [bleep]. It's like, boom,

months go by and you haven't seen your friends.

So, I have nothing to wear to this wedding.

I have, like, a couple options.

But I'm just, like, growing by the day.

I don't think I ever been to a wedding pregnant.

And that would probably be like... Oh my God.

I was at my own wedding pregnant!

These are some of the options. Black one.

Yeah, I like the black. [Angelina] I like the black.

I feel like the black's more, like, wedding-ish.

It'll be like this. Gorgeous. I like that a lot.

♪ Let me love you, love you better ♪

[Mike] BDS gotta put some work in today.

Today is a high chance to get pregnant.

Today is a high chance to get pregnant.Yeah.

So, we should probably get busy.[laughs]

[Mike] Myself and Laurens, we have just started discussing

having a little situation.

You think you're ready for a baby?

Um, honey, I've been born ready.

We'd have to move in the next year-- Six months.

I would say year, because-- No, 'cause I'm not gonna have the baby here.

Honey, I'm not even gonna be home in the next six months.

I'm not gonna have a baby here. There's no room.

I don't think that we are gonna purchase a house

while I'm in the big house. [chuckles]

[Nicole] Can you girls not jump on the couch?

No, no, no, no, no. No. No.

My turn. No. No.

No, that's not nice. Oh, [bleep]. So, anyway...

Ron was on Instagram.

an we finally-- can we finally talk about it?

Once you see Ron doing a post, you gotta look,

because you know that [bleep] be crazy.

He probably paid her another -grand to make her happy.

I cannot.

Wait, she-- he did that too?

This Ron drama is like serious [bleep].

He said he got beat up in Secaucus.

Who jumped you? Some random...

Jenni......person at some-- Secaucus.

Wait-- wait for that wine.

But the other day, Ron did another Ron-page on Instagram,

showed basically his face when he got beat up.

And he basically said "Jen did this, I'm sorry to my friends and family who I hurt."

But I mean, you know, we can't trust Ron.

He was like, um, "The cops found the guy. Jen's doing the lineup."

"Jen's at the police station."

"Jen's doing the lineup." I'm like...

Jen's been talking to the cops and stuff

because she's the one that got a look at them.

He said that they were-- that Jen was talking

to the detectives all day, so I believed him for a minute.

I can't. No, I really...

Like, he like really went into this [bleep] story.

Lo and behold, the girls told me that, yeah,

Jen punched him in the face.

Wow. He totally lied to my face.

Honestly, I feel like he was, like, so embarrassed.

Maybe he doesn't want people to know

what's really going on between him and Jen.

But it's just upsetting to me.

When I watched that thing

about her getting kicked out of AC,

and then he came into you guys, like, "Oh, no big deal, she didn't have her ID."

What happened? Nothing. She forgot her ID.

Who can lie like that so quick?

He's like a pathological liar, like... Sucks, man.

[Angelina] Hearing all these things really upset me.

I was trying to give Ron the benefit of the doubt,

because I think he's going through a lot right now.

I feel bad for him, so I'm trying to

lend him a helping hand and, like, an ear.

I put myself out here, and everyone else doesn't.

They hide what they want, and I have a [bleep] problem with it.

[Angelina] But then when I hear all this, how can I be there for him

when he's doing all these things?

It's kinda like I'm in a bad spot.

Well, I mean, I don't know why--

It's posted on their Instagram.

I don't know why he keeps airing out his [bleep],

that is something that's ridiculous.

Why would you ever wanna air that out? Like, it's just sick.

I choose to keep my family's business

out of certain things, where Ron purposely

puts his drama out there, because he can't keep his [bleep] in his pants.

So, he-- it becomes part of our drama,

because he drags every one of us in it.

I think Ron hates the fact that I need my life to be private.

But look at him, he blatantly lies.

And you know what? He's a [bleep] mess.

[Lauren] So, what else?

Ronnie's been all over social medias the past week,

and I don't even know if he's gonna be able to come to the wedding.

I texted him the rehearsal dates as well as...

Is he coming to that? ...the dinner.

He didn't answer, I don't know.

You kinda signed up for that when you chose to put him in your bridal party.

Um...

[Deena] And he's not coming here

'cause he thinks that other people are gonna make her look bad.

They make themselves look bad. He's not coming here?

Wait, he's not coming here? He's not coming for the wedding.

Oh my God. Mike texted him and was like,

"Dude, are, like, you coming?"

And he was like, "No. Um, I'm not coming

"because Jen's not coming to the wedding.

Like, they're just gonna make fun of her."

figure out your [bleep] and come here for Mike.

He doesn't give a [bleep].

Well, that's messed up.

[Nicole] He's not coming for the wedding.

[Jenni] Oh my God.

But like, who knows?

It's just a miscommunication.

[Nicole] I mean, honestly, I feel two ways

about Ron going to Mike's wedding.

He needs to be there for Mike.

But, like, I also don't want him there

if he's still in this mindset of, like, Ron-page.

He doesn't give a [bleep]. He does what he wants.

And I blame it all on Jen because of what she's doing to him.

It's like any time something bad goes on with Ron, it's always with Jen.

I don't think he actually can show up

'cause I think he's missing teeth.

A lot of people have speculated that in the videos

he doesn't have his front teeth.

See, I did see that picture.

[Nicole] He looks homeless. It's, like, sad.

Everybody has a choice. Mike had a choice, too,

to get sober and clean. Ron has a choice.

[Mike] I'll be honest with you.

I have faith that he will come through, um, in the clutch.

Yeah.Um, but if he doesn't, I can't put it past him.

Well, that was your choice, so it's not my-- my side.

Honey, as a family, okay, we choose positivities.

I know I did the right thing

by asking Ronnie to be my best man.

I know I did the right thing.

Him coming through and being a best man is a whole 'nother story.

He does come to the wedding, I don't know if he's gonna bring Mrs. Taters.

You kidding me?

♪♪

[Angelina] I try to see the good in this,

and it's just-- it's not...

Don't see the good in it,

'cause there's nothing good about it. There's nothing good.

Don't feel bad for the kid. Yeah.

Does it to himself. We're all over it.

I don't even wanna be around him anymore.

I feel like I don't know him at all anymore.

I don't even know who he is. I'm over it.

Oh, God.

Um, I love him. He's my brother. Yeah.

Okay. So... I mean, I hope he's okay.

But when it comes to my wedding, it's like, separate it.

I know. Honey, this is just a conversation.

So, if he doesn't show up, like,

it's not gonna make me feel any which way about him.

No.But...

We're just talking about the state of the union right now.

It's not my-- it's not my clan, it's your clan.

This is just a-- this is just a conversation, honey.

[Mike] Lauren deserves to have her best day on her wedding day.

And I'm gonna have to make the decision

whether to exclude him or not.

We'll be fine, honey.

[Angelina] I know, like, Nicole, you do have

a special thing with him. That's why I kinda--

[Deena] Not anymore. We used to be very close,

but now once he started turning into this [bleep] [bleep],

I want nothing to do with him.

Obviously, I love Ron to death, he's my brother.

He's been there for me through a lot.

[Ronnie] We're so sorry, Snooks.

You know we [bleep] love you, right?

You know that, right? We love you, Snooks.

Why can't you just let me go?

You're my friend, you're my sister.

[Nicole] I just feel very uncomfortable with Ron at this point,

because for me, as a mother and seeing what he's posting,

I'm just so turned off.

But you know, it's nice to just reach out

to somebody, you know what I mean?

We've been reaching out to him for two years now,

and it's the same cycle. We're [bleep] over it.

Where you going now? I have to do my own stuff

in peace and quiet. I need no distractions.