06x01 - Literally Falling Apart

[bunniefuu]

[♪ intense music playing]

[Khloé Kardashian] Don't you ever
[bleep] push my sister again!

[Kris Jenner]
Nobody [bleep] with my girls.

[Kim Kardashian] I am so done with her.

[Kendall Jenner]
Know me less. Literally, know me less.

[Kourtney Kardashian Barker]
I'll slap the sh*t out of your face.

It's just a lot to wrap my head around.

[Kim] This season on The Kardashians...

[♪ upbeat music playing]

Boy, have we gotten
Koko outside of the gates.

[Khloé] This is 40.

♪ Please don't underestimate me ♪

[Malika Haqq] Okay, so no one's
gonna be here for your birthday.

So, you wanted to tell me
that you're canceling?

You [bleep] as*h*le.

I'm obsessed with this.

I'm doing a collab
with SKIMS and Dolce & Gabbana.

-Gotta get Kourt for the campaign.
-Ooh.

Hi!

Full circle moment.

It felt like she brought me here
to get revenge.

"The paycheck is
more important than my feelings."

I have hair like Shirley Temple
and she has, like, bombshell hair.

I'm over these vibes, though.

How's your mom doin'?

It's just... It's very overwhelming.

I couldn't live without you.

She was DMing me strange things.
That pissed me off.

You're a tough lady.

-We all are.
-Mm-hm.

Wow.

Was I meant to be a princess or what?

I'm here for Tom Brady's roast.

I could've never imagined
that I would be booed.

Usher came up to me, he's like,
"I felt so bad for you on that roast."

So...

♪ I never slow down ♪

To here, I make,
like, a whole "his" closet.

-You must really like him.
-He'll be happy.

♪♪

I had the intention of staying single.

I have a dinner with someone.

I was fully lying to you guys.

I'm telling you, that b*tch [bleep] Kim.

And if anyone wants to hate, [bleep] you.

-[glass shattering]
-[North screams]

♪ Oh, you better step out the way ♪

The sisters are kind of mad at me.

"You told me it was a house bunny vibe."

No. Don't tell her I said this,
I think it's so ugly.

That's the [bleep] dumb sh*t
that they need to show

because it's who they [bleep] are.

You don't think anyone poisoned us
while they were sitting over there, right?

Hope not, but this would be
a really good last day with you.

Buckle your seat belts,
ladies and gentlemen.

I hope you guys are
having fun watching, sitting down.

Maybe some snacks?

♪♪

[Kris and Kourtney]
The Kardashians are here!

♪♪

-I kinda want my wedding to be in Idaho.
-[Khloé] What about me, b*tch?

[Kim] Oh.

[Khloé] [screams] No!

[♪ suspenseful music playing]

Hello.

-Why are you nervous?
-I haven't seen you in so long.

[Khloé] He's visibly uncomfortable.

-How are you doing?
-Good.

He seemed scared.

-Took you through a lot, huh?
-Yes.

I love you for trying
your hardest with me.

That love,
I don't think it'll ever go away.

Yeah, I [bleep] up.

-With what?
-With you.

What in the actual [bleep]?

[♪ dramatic theme plays]

[♪ "APT." by ROSÉ & Bruno Mars playing]

♪ Kissy face, kissy face
sent to your phone, but ♪

-♪ I'm tryna kiss your lips for real ♪
-♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪

♪ Red hearts, red hearts,
that's what I'm on, yeah ♪

♪ Come give me somethin'
I can feel, oh-oh, oh ♪

[Kris] Okay, here we go.

This is a big year
of celebrations in our family.

Khloé's turning 40!

♪ Uh, uh-huh, uh-huh ♪

Season six, we're back!

I don't know what's
in store for me, but it's my year.

I'm gonna be living my best damn life.

Wait and see.

♪ It's whatever, it's whatever,
it's whatever you like ♪

[in jaded tone] Here we go again.

[producer] No, that is not the right vibe!

Everyone's favorite funny sister is back.

-That's me.
-[producer laughs]

♪ Geonbae, geonbae, girl, what's up,
oh-oh, oh ♪

♪ Don't you want me... ♪

[Kendall]
I can't believe we're here already.

It goes by so, so fast,

but I hope you guys enjoy
and there's so much happening.

♪ Sleep tomorrow, but tonight, go crazy ♪

♪ All you gotta do is
just meet me at the... ♪

Season six, The Kardashians.

So much to talk about.

Your two favorite sisters on the screen.

-Mm-hm.
-Kendall and Kylie.

We know you look forward

-to seeing just us the most.
-The youngest, the hottest.

♪♪

♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪

-[♪ upbeat music playing]
-♪ Hey! We shinin' ♪

[producer]
Thank you, everybody. Thanks, team.

[director] And that's a wrap.
Nice job, everybody.

♪♪

Ooh, you can see the dolphins!
Look at all the dolphins!

Kendall, look at all the dolphins!

♪ One, two, on the move ♪

♪ Do it like that,
let me see ya let loose ♪

♪ Like, three, four, on the floor ♪

♪ Got the bags out back,
then we out the door ♪

-[Kris] Bye.
-[producer] How was today, Kris?

Amazing. We're gettin' it done.

Show opening in Malibu.
It's so serene here.

Anyone want a drink?
You want me to refill your drink?

-Are you a wine gal?
-Is there more?

[Kim] I'm sure there is.

[Kendall]
Like, more of the same bottle or no?

-[Khloé] Do you know what it is?
-I don't know.

-Screaming Eagle, 2005.
-[Kris laughs]

[Khloé] What is it? Pring-Pringles?

-A $12,000 bottle of wine.
-I would love a water.

[Kim] Let me see. Is that Sine Qua Non?

-Yep, that's it. That's a good one.
-[Kris] Oh, my gosh.

Getting kind of excited for a martini.
I just wanna put that out there.

I am in my "trying to get sh*t done" era.

I'm gonna do more stuff for me.

I'm just gonna find things to do
and keep really busy

'cause I think it makes you live longer.

I think my goals for this year

are to spend more time
with my grandchildren,

more time with my mom...

less time stressing
about things I can't control,

and to eat better. Yeah.

I feel bad Kylie couldn't be here
because she's working in New York, but...

-[Kim] Mm-hm. [laughs]
-...I miss her, I do. I miss her energy.

What? What... Guys, crickets.

I told everyone my schedule,
nobody cared that I couldn't be there.

So, it wasn't that
I didn't wanna be there,

it's the fact that they didn't
think it was of importance.

-[Kendall laughs]
-So, now they're just gonna

punch me in, I guess, uh, later.

Whatever, I'm gonna make it
the most fire thing you've ever seen.

You didn't miss too much,

but your presence was missed,
by me at least.

-Oh, thank you for saying that.
-You know, you bring me back to... life.

Yeah, we don't... we won't tell them that.

Where you off to next?

Going to the White House.

I have... I haven't been
to this administration's White House.

-You haven't?
-[Kim] No.

I have a lot of exciting things coming up.

I'm going to the White House
to visit our Vice President.

Kamala has granted clemency

-for 11 people.
-Oh, wow.

[Kim] I also have a few collabs for SKIMS,

and then I start filming
my Ryan Murphy All's Fair show.

Ryan Murphy told me that his new series,

-like how he did Dahmer...
-[Kris] Mm-hm.

...is now gonna be
on the Menendez Brothers.

-Oh, my God. I...
-[Kim] And...

-You know I knew those guys, in the '80s?
-[Kim] Yeah.

You knew the parents?

No, I knew the kids because
Erik used to come over and play tennis

with your dad on the weekends.

I remember my dad talking
about the case and I remember,

like, the whole case
growing up in Beverly Hills.

-That's where we were.
-[Kris] Yeah.

Trial, I think, happened
when I was, like, 13,

so, you know, there were big cases
that I would love to talk to my dad about.

And so, this was one of 'em.

Now, being older and seeing it
from a different lens 35 years later

and knowing what I know
now about the system,

I just have a whole
different outlook on it.

I thought I was busy before North.

Me having to be her momager
right now is crazy.

-Like, it's just... it was not on my list.
-It's a lotta work.

It was not on my bingo card for this year.

-And I'm not ready. No, I'm not.
-I would not be in the mood. Yeah.

-I'm not ready. I'm just like...
-[Khloé] You're like,

-"I have my own sh*t to manage."
-If she has a sh**t,

it's, like, I have to,
I have to be there all day,

so it's, like, her or me.

I'm really conflicted
on my daughter's career,

so we're gonna talk about that soon.

I just really wanna make sure
that everything's really well-balanced.

All of the work experiences
are balanced out

with just enough fun life experiences.

I just want balance.

Hm.

Nosy. So nosy.

I... used to say,
"Okay, I wanna be single for two years,

and blah-blah-blah,"
and that sounded great.

Me not dating
and not wanting love and attention?

I don't think you know me.
This is a new production crew, clearly.

We have a lotta birthdays coming up.

-Do we?
-Yes. Well, Khloé's is in June.

I already celebrated mine in The Bahamas.

-Without us.
-With my family.

Life with just a big
blended family is amazing.

You know, try to have one-on-one time
with all of the kids and family dinners.

It's okay if she wants to celebrate
her birthday without us.

I like to go away. I always went away.

Travis is still touring with Blink-182.

I am juggling all things "kids."

I go on two walks a day with the baby.

I feel really blessed and grateful
that I don't have to work a lot.

I'm very efficient with my time.
It's a beautiful thing.

-Khloé's turning 40?!
-Turning 40.

-According to Kylie, so am I.
-[Khloé] Ugh.

We're doing so much together this season.

We're going to Vegas, we're goin'
to Paris together for fashion stuff.

We're kind of all over the place.

Aren't we so lucky
that we get to do it all together?

We are very lucky.

Not a lot of people can say they
can take their sister to work every day.

Yes.

-You better be at my birthday, b*tch.
-Should we just do a 40th together?

-Forty. This is gonna be your...
-[Khloé] Yes!

-...decade, Khloé.
-Oh, I'm so... I already know.

-I'm claiming it, owning it, it's mine.
-No, this is your, this is your decade.

[Khloé] So excited.

I feel like so much great
is coming right now,

whether it be business
or how I feel about myself.

Diane von Furstenberg,
she told me your 50s are your best years.

As long as you're healthy,
I think it's great getting older

'cause you just don't care
about what people think about you.

It's such a freeing feeling.

My next chapter is, like,
I wanna find a forever partner.

And to do that, I'm wanna shed everything

that's not serving me, not for me.

So, I'm outside the gates.
All the way outside.

[in Southern accent] I'm excited to be 40.

-[in Southern accent] I'm excited for ya.
-[in Southern accent] Thank you, girl.

[♪ "Believe" by Bobby Saint playing]

♪ You got to believe in yourself ♪

It is a new era for me.
I'm feeling fantastic.

I am heading over to Malika's house.

Fresh air, happy to be here.

♪ I'm always on roll, I'm breaking free ♪

♪ Be the best of me ♪

♪ I need that ♪

-Hello?
-[Malika] Hello.

-[Khloé] Hi.
-Hi, pretty lady. How are you?

You're so tall. Hi, boobies.

[Khloé] How cute.
You made it so pretty for me.

Aw, only for you.
Me and Mommy did a little spring cleaning.

She made me a hoarder,
so she has to un-hoard me.

Well, my boobs are falling out.
I don't understand this top anymore.

[sighs] [bleep] it all.

[bleep] it all.

-[bleep] them all.
-[sings] ♪ All ♪

[bleep].
We could do a good song with that one.

[sings] ♪ [bleep] it all ♪

-[sings] ♪ [bleep] it all ♪
-I really hate everyone

-in the world.
-[laughs] I really do.

So, how is the guy?

-We don't have to say his name.
-I just can't stand...

I don't da... I don't like dating.

I just wanna get married.

-Oh.
-That's why I'm...

I realize that I'm a wife.
I'm not, like, a single woman.

-'Kay. Got it.
-I'm terrible at this.

-When are you gonna date?
-I don't know.

Are you asking,
am I ever gonna date someone?

-[producer] Yes.
-I would hope so.

[laughs]
I pray it can't be over for me yet.

I'm not saying it's gonna
happen the day I turn 40,

but at some point during my 40s,

I can promise everybody
I will have gone on at least one date.

I've been dying for a road trip with you.

And I don't even like road trips.

Well, you tell me where you wanna go
and we'll figure it out.

I'm like, Mykonos.

-Mykonos is nice.
-I know, like...

There are normally a lotta g*y men
at Mykonos in the summertime.

-And Mykonos is great party.
-I'm down for fun. You know,

g*y men know a lot of straight men.

We could even do Vegas.

No, I don't know what
your thing is with Vegas.

[Malika] I love Vegas, though.

And it's, like, five seconds
and it's actually easier

to get you to get on a plane.

Oh, my God, the amount
of people that have been like,

"Did you see Lamar?"
And I'm like, "Yeah, I saw him."

Malika saw him at Super Bowl.

I was walking this way and he's walking...
You know, you can't miss him.

We just, like, stood there
in the middle of the damn floor.

It was just heavy and, like...

What'd you guys talk about?

It was short-lived
because it was so emotional.

-Mm.
-Like, a part of me still just wants

to sit him down, like, right here
in between the two of us

-and be like, "So, what's going on?"
-"What's going on in your life?"

"How's life?"

Lamar was and is definitely someone
that I... was, like, the love of my life.

I got married when I was 24.

[Malika gasps]

[Lamar Odom] Would you marry me?

-[Malika] Why the hell...
-Oh, my God.

And although him and I got married

30 days to the day
after meeting one another,

I loved him with all of my heart and soul.

I, Khloé, take you, Lamar.

-[officiant] To be my husband.
-To be my husband.

[♪ "Sweet Company"
by Sam Burchfield playing]

♪ Stand by me ♪

♪ Even when tears are stealin' our joy ♪

♪ 'Cause I've been a foolish man ♪

♪ But I can understand ♪

♪ What I need is ♪

♪ Your company ♪

I took my vows very seriously

and I was married for about seven years.

But there were bigger things
that were not fixable in that marriage.

So, the last time I saw him
would be in 2016.

I have so many things I need to give him.

Like, I have his Sixth Man of the Year,
I have things,

-but I'm like...
-Do you wanna do it?

[♪ song fades out]

[Khloé] Oh, my God, I don't know.

I'll open my door for you
to pack all his sh*t in here

and let him walk out with it.

I mean, I don't wanna
give it to him, like, in, like,

-a "[bleep] you" type of way...
-No, but just like,

-"Hey, oh, my God...
-I don't need these things.

...I happen to have
some of your things that..."

I mean, I can tell him if you want me to.

I've held on to Lamar's things
because they're his things

and he should have them.

Ugh.

During our divorce,

we were selling our house
that we were in and I was like...

I had all this furniture for him.

So, I remember getting a storage unit

and putting everything in there
and paying for it

until he was in the right head space,
so he can use it for his home.

But when I told Lamar
about the storage unit,

he told me that I should just
hand over the keys to his best friend.

So, I said, "Okay, fine."

I mean, it's out of my hands
and I just wanna be done with this.

And the best friend sold
everything in the storage unit.

Everything in Lamar's life
sort of... gets stolen,

goes missing, someone's shady.

And so, when I found
his Sixth Man of the Year,

I found a couple other things.

I just wanna make sure
I'm giving it to him, actually.

That he has it, not a friend,

not someone that's gonna steal something.

Even if I give it to him
and he's not in the right space,

I mean, I've done my part.

I think he would be so nervous,
but he would do it.

He was, literally, in tears
when I saw him. Literally.

It made me cry.

-And he was like, "I love you."
-What a fun night in Vegas.

I know. Imagine... After that,
I was, like, trying to, like, text you

-and I was, like, deleting and rewriting.
-Oh, my God.

I feel bad, and, like, I wish
he would get his life together.

And then, I'm like,
"Why am I even... Who c...

-Like, this is not my world anymore."
-Yeah. But you know what it is, Khloé?

If you ever love someone,
you will always love them.

-I hate it.
-They won't hold the same position

-in your life, but, like, that's just...
-Totally.

You don't love
and leave people completely.

It's so annoying.

I don't even know if I could put
into words what I felt with Lamar,

but it was just some of the most
special, magical time of my life.

It felt like the most purest
love I've ever had.

And although there was
so much darkness in that marriage,

there was the brightest
of the bright times,

and I love it and I cherish it.

But, in 2015, Lamar overdosed
in Las Vegas at a brothel.

He was in a coma for three days.

He woke up out of the coma
and he was unable

to walk or talk for quite a few months.

And we were able to get him
back walking and talking.

And I took care of him
for quite some time after that.

And then as soon as he was up
and able to take care of himself,

then we had to part ways.

I really am trying to get you
to give him his stuff.

-So you don't have to have it anymore.
-I would love to give him his stuff.

And I just think it's time
to just be done with that chapter.

His mom's driver's license, like,
all these things I'm sure he wants.

Yeah.

If someone had something of my dad's
that I could never get back...

-You would want it, for sure.
-I would hope someone would give it to me.

[♪ "Back up and Running" by Layup playing]

[seagulls cawing]

♪♪

[Jess] A little more this way.
Like... Yep, yep, yep.

-Oh, my God. Wow. No, it's impressive.
-I know, I'm sorry. I'm crazy.

No, I wanna be, like, straight.
I'm so crooked.

[Jess] Okay, okay. We're good, we're good.

[friend] Oh, that's cute like that.

-Yeah, I think that's cute.
-♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Lights on back up and running ♪

[Khloé] We are going to IHOP
for Kourtney's birthday

to have a little breakfast there.

It's a little belated birthday breakfast.

Hi, guys. Wait, is she not here?

-No, of course not.
-[friend] Course not.

-What time is it?
-[friend] She's late to her own party.

-She's always late to her own stuff.
-Hi.

Ooh, that cake. Who made the cake?

[friend] Hi. J-Jessie did.

[Kris] What? What kinda cake is that?

-[everyone cheering]
-[guests] Happy birthday!

I'm here!

-I'm here.
-[Khloé] We all took bets on

when you were coming.

[Kourtney] This is so cute.

Yeah, put that on!

This is my 45th birthday.

-Thank you for coming.
-Hi.

I feel like I'm gonna live to 145.

I've got lots of things to do.

N... I'm not gonna be filming
if I live that old.

Girlfriends should be sitting

-next to you.
-Happy birthday!

But at least they're across from you.

Aw, don't I have the best friends?

-Yes, you do.
-You really do.

[Kris] Did you see the cake they made you?

-No. Did you make it?!
-[crosstalk]

Oh, my God.

For my actual birthday,
I went to The Bahamas

with Travis and all of the kids.

I had the best birthday,

and then, all of my closest girlfriends,

um, wanted to throw me
a birthday breakfast.

They said to wear all-black
or skeleton onesies and I loved that.

Is there any way
I could get a hot chocolate?

You guys, the hot chocolate here is,
like, the best hot chocolate in the world.

I think I want well-done
hash browns, a biscuit.

Where's just, like, a regular pancake?

-Um, right here.
-[indistinct chatter]

-Just, yeah, two. Yeah.
-Two pancakes? With butter?

-Yes, please.
-Okay.

Thank you.

[everyone cheering]

-It's the Unabomber.
-Hey, guys. It is.

We just always used to have
birthday parties for Kourtney at IHOP.

We used to do these,
like, kidnapping parties.

Well, we would call it a "snatch party,"
which sounds crazy now,

but I don't think the word
had the same meaning.

They'd wake me up with a camera
in my face and say,

"We're going, we're kidnapping
you for Kourtney's birthday."

And then, we'd go
to the Azoffs' house and pick up them

and, like, all of her friends
and pick them up.

When I was eight, I would be
in, like, my best silk pajamas,

my hair in a French braid,

and we would go
to my friends' houses, wake them up,

"Come on, we're going
to breakfast in our pajamas."

And they would have to stay in
what they had on.

It was just such a Kourtney thing,

so we're carrying on
the tradition even in our 40s.

Kim, they have the best hot chocolate
ever in the world here.

Ooh, I have the Met Ball coming up.
I don't think I can eat it.

Wait, what? Your hair... Oh.

[Kim] I am in the process
of dyeing my hair for the Met.

There'll be times when
you see me with brown hair

and then, now I have blonde hair.

So, I will keep you guys
guessing this season.

You guys with the hot chocolate
and the biscuits,

-I love it.
-[speaker] Oh, my God.

-[Kourtney] Mm!
-[Kris] Wow.

What's something you're
looking forward to in this next year?

I'm looking forward to going to Orlando
to take Rocky to Disney World.

-[Jess] That's fun.
-In June.

Wow. What is something you want
to, like, leave in your past year?

Maybe like...

It could be, like,
how you said the word, "Yeah."

-Like, just what's something...
-Oh, I'm trying to not say, "Yeah."

I'm trying to say, "Yes."

I think what you should be doing, Kourt,
is trying to get rid of the word "like."

-Oh. Well, that's a given.
-[Khloé] That would be...

When I watch the edits of our show,
I make them take out "likes."

I'll go, "Take out as many
'likes' as you can."

[friend]
That must give someone a full-time job.

-[Khloé] Totally.
-It does.

It's, like... Like...

So, like... Like...

[Kourtney saying "like"]

-And I was like...
-Get to the punchline!

[Kourtney saying "like"]

Just put it out there, like...

Like... In, like... Almost, like,

like, I don't think we know how to, like...

What?

But it's like... Editors...

Like, vibing. And then I was like...

[Kourtney saying "like"]

This, like...

-But I was like...
-[Kourtney saying "like"]

And, like...
You have to, like, have, like...

Like, you can't, like, stop.

[guests] [singing]
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Wait, Kourtney's 45?

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

I remember it like it was yesterday
when Kourtney was born

and all the things you do when you welcome
your first child into the world.

She was so cute, so tiny.

And you blink and she's 45.

-♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
-Kourt.

-[everyone cheering]
-[whistling]

-Okay, I need to make a really good wish.
-[Jess] Really good one.

-[speaker] Okay, this is too long.
-[friend laughs]

Never share your wish.

[friend] Holy moly, she's really
thinkin' about this wish.

[applause and cheering]

You have to be intentional.
You have to be intentional...

-Yeah! Very specific.
-...with your, with your wish.

[Kim] Intentional.

Thank you. Everyone, beware.

-It's made with what, breast-fed butter?
-[crosstalk]

-[friend 1] Grass-fed.
-Oh, I thought you said "breast-fed."

[friend 2] It's made with colostrum
and breast-fed butter.

If you ever wanna make
a breast milk cake...

[friend] Ooh! Oh, my God, should we?

-[laughing] Yes.
-Kourtney's available.

[laughter]

[♪ plucky music plays]

[♪ techno music playing]

♪♪

♪ Never let 'em tell me
what's wrong or right ♪

♪ Now they wanna talk all day, all night ♪

♪ Okay, alright, okay, alright ♪

-[Khloé] Hidey-h*, h*.
-Howdy, hoes.

[Khloé] With Lamar,
I'm not ready to talk right now.

It's giving me just a tad of anxiety,
but I don't need anyone's help.

I'm a grown-up.

-A little birdie told me...
-[Kim] Hmm.

...that you were doing a
roast for somebody.

-I think I am. Shouldn't I do it?
-Yes! We saw you do SNL.

-You're gonna thrive at this.
-[Kim] Yeah.

-No, this is, this is right up your alley.
-[laughs] It's funny. It's funny.

So, I've been asked
to do Tom Brady's roast,

and I thought, "Why not?
I'm really [bleep] funny.

I should do this."

How are you feeling about Brad?

I love Brad.
I think he's so [bleep] funny.

[Kim] He's wild.

Brad Slater is my agent
and he is an amazing agent at WME.

I'm almost there.

[Brad Slater] [over phone] Oh, my God,
I'm so excited for you right now.

[Kim] You know, he's really
someone that has, like,

built this confidence in me to help

get out some of these, like,
film and TV ideas.

-I know you're more nervous than me.
-[Brad] I'm not nervous.

[Kim] Khloé's like,
"Hey, who-who is this Brad person?

Can I work with him?"

And if I felt that with Brad,
I'd want to give that to Khloé.

-That energy is...
-[Kim] His energy is like that nonstop.

I'm exhausted for him.

-Brad Slater?
-[Khloé and Kim] Mm-hm.

-Oh, I love him.
-Yeah.

I connected Khloé with him

because I want Khloé
to have everything that I have.

[Khloé] Mm!

Something that I don't think
Kimberly gets enough credit for

is how much she wants
everyone around her to win.

I was just like,
"If you have anything, like, for Khlo

and you're thinking of anything..."

[Khloé] She always cheers me on
and believes in me

and that gives somebody confidence.

-Also, what we wanna do is different too.
-Yeah.

[Khloé] I'm shedding the old me
and there's gonna be a new me.

This year, I know I have an agent
and now, I am excited to do the podcast.

He's a [bleep] agent hustler, like...

-Love it. Yeah.
-...he will go to bat for you,

but he will get you to believe that you...

-[Kim] Totally.
-...can sell water to a whale.

-[Kris] I know.
-You're like, "Damn."

He's coming here tomorrow
for, like, a two-hour meeting

-and I have to get my energy.
-For what?

Oh, you're welcome, guys.
I just gave you guys my...

[Kris] I love it.

I've already said thank you 100 times.

[Khloé] If she stole from you, that's,

-that's a different story.
-No, I didn't.

-She's a double dipper.
-[Kim] Mm-hm.

-No, I, um...
-[Khloé] She's like the Milky Way.

I did the same thing when I first
met him in the first meeting we had.

He goes, "What, what do you
want for your family?"

And I go, "Khloé should do this,
and this one should do this,

and that one has this dream,
and Kendall should do this, and..."

Well, he was Kim's.
You can't just be hawkin'

-him to...
-[Kris] Well, he's an agent at WME

where we've been for 20 years.

I'm the manager, Brad's the agent.
Of course, we're talking to each other.

I have to organize stuff.

So, why wouldn't I be
talking to Brad, kids?

Still, if that's Kim's,

-you gotta still go pay homage to the...
-Totally.

My mom has the most severe case
of FOMO that one could ever have.

She needs to have
what everyone else is having,

do what everyone else is doing,
but also, live a life of leisure.

I always... I don't ever
go behind anyone's back.

-Yeah.
-I don't go behind anybody's back.

Well, yeah, if she just found out
you've had all these meetings,

-that, that is the definition of...
-I've had a million meetings with him.

-Well, yes, that's what we're saying.
-Well, I introduced him to you,

-so you knew what I was up to.
-[Kris] Yeah.

-Right.
-[Khloé laughs]

So, what else are you up to?

[Khloé]
We wanna now know what you're up to.

-[Kim] Yeah.
-Nothing.

So, now that you've swooped in
and taken my agent,

-I wanna know...
-Taken him.

-...whose agent does he think he is?
-Oh, it's just conversations

so far about Khloé.

But you just said Kendall two seconds ago.

Uh, we... Yeah,
we had, like, a conversation.

-Like, "What does Kendall wanna do?"
-[laughing]

"What does Kylie want?"

-Uh, now it's Kylie?!
-Now it's Kylie?

-No, I meant different family members.
-[Khloé] No, no, but just keep...

-We're not doing this again, guys.
-[Kim] Yes, we are.

-No, we're not.
-Why?

-We're not doing what? It's the truth!
-It's the reality!

This is actually in real...
You can't look down the barrel

of the lens and think you're cutting it

-'cause you're not.
-[Kim] I'll call Brad Slater right now.

-[♪ dramatic music playing]
-[Khloé] We're calling Brad.

-[ringback tone]
-[Kris] I-I did... I never knew about him

-until he called her about a role.
-[Khloé] That's what she's saying.

-[Kim] That's the whole point.
-[Khloé] That's what our...

[automated voice]
Your call has been forwarded...

Mm.

Saved. But did you text him,
"Don't answer Kim's call"?

-[Kris] Yeah. Just now.
-[Khloé laughs]

[Kim] He would never.

-He'll call me back in 0.2 seconds.
-[Kris] He'll call back.

What we met about the very first time was,

"What-What is your, like,
vision for your family?"

And the first thing I said was,
"Khloé should have a podcast.

"And that's my number one goal.

I've been trying to talk her into it
for two and a half years."

-He just gets it.
-[Kris] He just, "I love Khloé.

"You're absolutely right.

This is the perfect venue
for her, blah-blah-blah."

And I said,
"Well, I think she needs to hear that

from somebody other than her mom."

I really feel strongly
that you should have a podcast.

I am... overwhelmed with work
that I'm doing all on my own

'cause I have no team, no support.

-I'm so turned off from all of this.
-You're spiraling.

Brad saw the podcast episode and was like,

"Totally, Khloé needs to do this."

But he understood
my fears, concerns, all of that.

We just today, I think,
finished the deal for X...

-[Kim] Ooh, amazing.
-...so I'm seeing...

Brad will let me know if, like,
everything went through.

My vision for the podcast right now

is basically about, like,
what I'm curious about.

Whether it be co-parenting
or how do you date in this world,

and go all the way
to, like, an alien conversation.

The Mayan etchings on the walls.
I mean, I can go on and on.

[Kim] Hm. Just got a call from someone.

[ringback tone]

-[Brad] [over phone] Hi.
-[Kim] Hey.

-So, I heard...
-[Brad] What's goin' on?

Nothing, I'm... I heard you're having
a meeting with my mom.

[Brad] Oh, my God.
I am having a meeting with your mom.

Um, but it's not really about you guys.

-No offense.
-[Khloé] W-We heard.

[Kim] What's it about?

[Brad] What do you mean?

-[Brad stammering]
-We're be... We're being nosy.

[Brad] It's about her.

I'm about to get a huge deal
for her at Amazon...

to make her, like, the face
of the holidays, basically,

starting with Easter...

-As she should. Okay.
-...all the way through...

Like, the goal is for her to be

whatever today's version
of Martha Stewart is

'cause you know that's how she is.

She was amazing. I brought the people

from Seattle down to meet with her.

[Kim] It is classic Kris Jenner.
And it's fine.

It's just so interesting that, like...

she seems so interested in our careers.

She's still getting her 10%
'cause that's what... they do.

But she actually shouldn't.
I might think about this.

Now that she's her own star
in her own right

and she's focusing on her own career.

I don't know what she's
really managing these days.

[slurps]

[Brad] Well, we got a lot
to catch up on on Amazon.

Obviously, we gotta talk about you, Khloé,
with your new signed deal, finally.

-Woo-hoo!
-Woo-hoo!

[Kim] Okay, I'll call you later.

[Brad] God, I was scared.
I was like, "What the [bleep] is this?

Am I gonna get interrogated?"

-Yes, you are.
-I th... I think this was an interrogation.

-[Kim] This was an interrogation.
-[Kris laughs]

[Brad] Alright, well, good stuff.
I'm glad you approve.

-I'll keep you posted on all.
-[Kim] Okay.

Good job, Mommy.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

Mom, the Amazonian.

So, wait, that was interesting.

-[Khloé] Hm.
-Huh.

-It always is back to Kris Jenner.
-[Kris] Why not? Always, it comes back

-to Kris Jenner.
-[Kim] Respect.

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[Jessica Jackson] Hi.

-Ooh, look at how cool.
-[Kim] Hi, guys. Sorry I can't move.

[laughter]

[sing-songy]
♪ Look how beautiful you look ♪

[Kim] Oh, thank you.

I have a wig on,
so we're having a little wig sitch.

-My hair is blonde...
-[people gasp]

...so I just wanted it dark today.

Are you ready with your remarks?

[Kim] I'll look it over.

Today is the White House.
It's such a big day.

Vice President Harris is announcing

that they are changing
some of the clemency laws

and letting some people out
with commutations and some pardons.

They're also announcing
that the Small Business Administration

is going to relax some of the rules
on background checks

-for getting loans to start businesses.
-[Kim] Amazing.

So many people that
are coming home from prison

have these amazing ideas

and wanna start these great businesses,

but then they're stuck with the roadblock

of not being able to get a loan.

Now, that will change
and will change a lotta people's lives.

We're on our way to the White House
for the Second Chances Event.

-[laughter]
-[Erin Haney] Right now, they,

they look boobilicious.

This is just ridiculous that this bra...

I sh... asked her to pack
a tank and she didn't.

-Do you want...
-I think... Do you wanna, like see...

-Erin has, like, a brand-new SKIMS thing.
-It's brand new. It's in your bag.

[softly] Let me just look.

I love being here,
but I'm also, literally, falling apart.

I mean, it's still boobing out.

-[Jessica] Yeah.
-[Kim] Yeah.

-Can we pull over?
-Pink bag?

-Oh, can you get it?
-[Erin] You want me to get it?

-Yeah.
-It's a black sports bra in the pink bag.

[Erin] Let's do it. [grunts]

The only other option I had is to switch

and put on the sports bra
that I wore on the flight here

so it has a higher neckline.

I'm just gonna have to change here,

-is that okay?
-That's fine.

[Kim] Okay. It's not in here.

[crosstalk]

-That's my underwear.
-[laughs] Okay, it's, like,

it's gotta be somewhere.

-[driver] We can pull over here.
-I just am taking my top off,

-so if we're gonna be in view...
-Yeah, pull over 'cause the,

the security entrance is right there,
so you wanna wait.

[Erin] So, you just wanna make sure.
There we go.

[softly] You got this.

[Erin] [bleep].

I'm just spiraling.

We're gonna be so late.

I'm changing in the car,
trying to figure it out.

Wig's fallin' off.
There was just, like, a lot going on.

Can you put that in there?
I just threw my bra on you.

Nothing like a little wardrobe, wig
malfunction to get the day going.

-I hope no one can see in.
-[Jessica] I know. [laughs]

-[bleep].
-[mic scratching]

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[Kim] We're ready.

-[driver] Ready?
-[Kim] Yeah.

♪♪

[indistinct chatter]

Chuck, have you ever been
to the White House?

-[Chuck] First time ever.
-How exciting!

-[soft cheering]
-[Chuck] I'm very excited.

It'll never get old walking
into the West Wing.

When you step foot on the premises

is, like, this overwhelmingly
powerful feeling

where you just feel like
you wanna make change

and you wanna get sh*t done

and just make things better in the world.

-Hi, how are you?
-Hi!

-Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome.
-So nice to see you.

-How are you?
-Thank you for having me.

-I'm glad you're here.
-I'm so happy to be here.

I love everything that you're doing.

It's... We have so much good work to do.

-And this is a good day.
-I'm... Yeah, it really is.

They thought they were just
coming to have a meeting.

Oh, wow.

And then they learned
yesterday about the pardons.

-I love that.
-So, it's very exciting.

-Oh, I can't wait to hear their stories.
-Isn't that good? It's good.

You know, we're here
for some significant changes.

And I am so proud of this administration

for creating these loans
for people that have records

that wouldn't be able
to get a loan otherwise.

So, I'm a big believer in
the power of redemption.

Everybody makes mistakes.

Yesterday, the President issued
a new round of pardons.

And today, we are then here to honor
some of the recipients of those pardons.

And I will now turn it over
to Kim Kardashian

who's been a wonderful advocate
on this and so many other issues.

Thank you. I just wanted
to start off by thanking you,

Madam Vice President,
for hosting this event today

and just for your deep commitment

-to Second Chances.
-Thank you.

I am super honored to be here
to hear your stories today

and I think it's so important
to share them and amplify them.

A couple years ago, when I was
just getting into prison reform,

my focus was mainly on,
"Okay, how do we get someone home?"

Then you realize, "Well, wait,
once everyone gets home,

there's so many more
challenges that they face."

Like, you're not really free
with all of these probation laws.

So now, it's, like, digging deeper
and figuring out,

"Well, how do we make
that so much easier?"

So now, I'm so happy
that this administration

is really focusing on
what to do when you come home.

Now I'm able to take this pardon
and apply for, um...

I wanna be a probation officer
in a... with the U.S. government

so I can assist other people
in similar sit-situations

who need more access
to different, I guess, networkings.

Just a beautiful thing.
And I'm just so happy and just so elated

and I'm just so thankful and grateful.

And... I'm just...
I'm grateful. I'm thankful.

We are... hope for somebody else.
We can do this.

Every time I've gone and visited a prison,

I've met some of the smartest individuals
with the brightest ideas.

And to see the changes that are happening
to make their re-entry easier,

I think is gonna be life-changing
and give so many people hope.

It's just inspiring and what pushes me

to wanna continue
to do the work that I do.

This has been such a productive time

because we were able
to shed light on people that

got pardons and commutations

and how this process is changing
their lives for the better.

And so, again, I thank the-the four of you

for showing what's possible

and being an example
of what we know is possible

all over our country every day.

Many, many people will benefit.

So again, thank you
to the four leaders in particular.

[leaders] Thank you.

♪ All of the lows, and all the highs ♪

[Kim]
It couldn't've gone better, honestly.

I... It was such an important conversation

and so inspirational meeting
with some of the people

that just found out
that they were pardoned

and just to see how it
will affect their lives

and to share their stories with everyone,

I think will motivate a lot
of other people to never give up.

It's always inspiring to be here
and pushes me to wanna do more.

♪ I wanna feel ♪

♪ All of it, whoa-oh-oh, all of it ♪

♪ Whoa-oh-oh, all of it ♪

From the White House.

[♪ pensive music playing]

♪ I used to wait around and
think about the brighter days ♪

♪ And when I'm hurting ♪

♪ I find purpose just to numb the pain ♪

♪ Just know it's temporary, not forever ♪

♪ What you're waiting for,
it's now or never ♪

-[Malika] Hi, baby.
-You look so pretty.

Mwah. As do you.

I'm at Malika's today
and I am going to see Lamar today.

He's gonna come to Malika's

and I have a bunch
of his stuff that I want to give him.

I'm poured for you already,
so you can join me.

I haven't had contact
with Lamar in nine years

and, and I just think it's time
to shed as much as I can.

Ooh.

I didn't have any anxiety this morning.

I feel like I'm now
just getting a little anxious

just because I... haven't seen
this person in so many years

and we've had such history,

and the last time I did see him,
we didn't end on the best terms.

How are you feeling?

I'm fine. I just don't want...

to, like, make this a thing.

-Okay.
-Like, I was even like...

it's hot. I would've worn, like,
a short tank dress and, like, sneakers,

but I'm like, "Maybe that's,
like, giving too much."

So, if I'm in, like, my uniform...

Oh, I couldn't agree more.

This... Like, I don't want this
to, like, read into anything more.

Do you know what I mean?
This is very weird.

I haven't told any
of my sisters or my mom.

-I think that was a great way to do this.
-[Khloé laughs]

'Cause I honestly think that Kris
would've been pulling up right behind you.

She would've been crying.

-I'm like, "Shut up. Grow up."
- No. It would've been... Just...

You don't need to feel
any kinda way about this

'cause, actually... he's really nervous.

I think he kinda feels
the same way that you feel,

that it's, like, the same way
you would maybe meet up with someone

from high school or something
from a long time ago

'cause you still care about that person.

It's good to know
that there's no bad blood.

I don't have bad blood.
I don't have any blood.

Like, there's no feelings.

-Like, this is...
-[Malika] You just have his stuff.

Yeah, I just wanna...
I want him to have his stuff.

-Okay.
-This is yours, and that's it.

Like, I wish I could just do that
and, like, not have a conversation.

You're thinking the worst.

Maybe I should leave you there
'cause sometimes if you think the worst,

it ends up being better.

I honestly think timing is everything.

I think this is the perfect
timing to have this chat

because it's the very end of my 39th year

and I am ready to start

my 40s fresh and free and as...

released from as much sh*t as I can be.

So, he was supposed to be here
at 3:00 and isn't on time?

[Malika] We didn't actually think
he was gonna be on time, did we?

No, but who has the energy for this?
[sighs]

[♪ plucky, anxious music playing]

Movin' to the speed of his own drum.

I had to break contact with him

because Lamar was repeating
some of the same behaviors

that I just couldn't stand for.

And I was shocked that he was

repeating those behaviors himself

coming out of the whole Vegas accident.

Twenty-six minutes late is, like... rude.

-It's rude.
-It's rude.

I rented Lamar a house
next door to my home.

He was staying there with caretakers,

rehabilitating and learning how
to walk and talk and all these things.

I needed him close to me
because I had to take him

to all of his appointments
and make sure he was being...

supported, watched...
He-He couldn't be left alone

'cause he could barely speak at the time.

Who's 30 minutes late to anything?

I went over the house to say bye

'cause I was going
to Scott Disick's birthday

and I went to say bye
and I walked in on Lamar

doing things that he, in my opinion,
shouldn't have been doing.

And I was very upset.

[Malika] What are you, antsy?

I said to him, "I'm going to Vegas.
You need to be out by Monday."

That's it, I'm done.
I've given all I can give

and I've tried to help
all that I could help.

And I haven't seen Lamar since that day.

♪♪

[chuckles]

[birds chirping]

[♪ dramatic music plays]

I just don't get the point
of us having empty glasses.

[♪ tense, dramatic music playing]

Get it together.

♪♪

-Hello.
-Hey.

Hey. Oh, these are for you, Khloé.

-Oh, you have yourself on your shirt.
-[Lamar] Mm.

-How you doin'?
-[Khloé] Nice to see you.

-Thank you.
-[Lamar] You too. No problem.

-[kisses]
-And a cake? Oh, and champagne?

[Lamar] Yeah. Yeah, a little bit.

-Can I sit next to you?
-[Khloé] Sure.

-[grunts]
-You wanna sit this close?

How are we gonna talk to each other?

-[grunts] I'm sorry.
-[Khloé laughs]

[chuckles]

Do you need some water?

Yeah, a little bit.

Malik, can you get some water, please?

Yes.

-Don't be nervous. Everything's fine.
-Yeah? I got you.

I'm not gonna do or say
anything that's scary.

-[Lamar] Yeah?
-There you go, love.

-Thank you.
-Put that down for you.

[Lamar]
Where's my brother at? Where's Rob?

He's at home.
This is Malika's house. [laughs]

-[Malika] He wants to see Rob.
-I think that's why I was expectin'...

That's why I was expectin' to see Rob

-'cause it's Malika's house.
-[Khloé] You thought he lived here?

-No, that's a joke.
-[Malika] It's a joke.

We're all hopeful.

What? [laughs]

-We're... The time isn't over yet.
-[Lamar] No?

We're all hopeful. Why are you nervous?

I haven't seen you in so long.

-[Khloé] I know.
-You make me nervous.

Well, the 52 minutes
of being late is really lovely.

I was out shopping and being thoughtful.

Mm.

-So, it ran overtime.
-Are you gonna talk this low?

-I said, "It ran overtime."
-[Khloé] Mm.

Just in the first glance of seeing Lamar,

I feel a little bit of,
"God this is so familiar

and so unchartered
all at the same time."

I don't know this person anymore.

I don't know. It's really...
It's just a mind-[bleep].

I don't know how else to explain it.

How's your mom, huh?

She's good.
She doesn't know I'm seeing you.

She would be... she would be here [laughs]

-if she knew.
-[Malika] She would be here.

Do you need a minute?

No.

What are you so nervous about?

-Everything's fine.
-What?

I don't know, Khloé.

How long has it been

-since I've seen you?
-Take a breather.

-How long has it been?
-The last time I've seen you,

I don't know, was...
I was leavin' for Las Vegas,

kicking you out
of the Calabasas house. [laughs]

That was the last time I saw you.
What year was that?

-'16? Yeah. 2016.
-I feel like 2016 sounds about right.

And what are you doing now?

[Lamar]
Little bit of this, little bit of that.

Okay.

-[Lamar] Just hustlin'.
-[Malika] She's like, "What is that?"

-[Khloé] Right?
-[chuckles] Hustle man.

[Malika] Hustlin'.

[awkward silence]

[Khloé] He is visibly uncomfortable.
He's nervous. He's sweating.

I don't know what he thinks about me,
like if I'm gonna go off on him

or he just seems very... he seems scared.

And I don't want anyone
to be that uncomfortable.

It's just makin' me
more uncomfortable, too.

This is for you.

-[Lamar] Aw, Khloé, you are the best.
-[Khloé] Hm.

[♪ light, pensive music playing]

Just as you left it.

[Lamar] Hmm.

When I was moving, I found this
diamond angel wing necklace of Lamar's.

I probably made it for him
for his birthday or something like that.

But I custom-made him three angel wings

and it's two white diamond angel wings

that represent his mom
and his grandma who passed away,

and their names are engraved on the back.

-Can I hug you?
-[Khloé] Mm-hm.

And then, a yellow diamond one
that represents his son

who passed away, um,
when he was about six months old.

You got your angel wings on you,
your grandmother, your mom, and your son.

[Lamar] Yeah.

I have no idea how I've even had
this in my possession for so long

because this was something
that he wore on a daily basis,

so I don't know how it
even parted ways with him.

[Malika] Khloé, that is crazy.

[Khloé] That I still had that?

-Isn't that crazy?
-[Malika] You didn't even tell me

-about that part.
-[Khloé] I didn't tell you about that?

-The wings that I found?
-[Malika] No.

Yeah. This, randomly... I was giving...

[Lamar] My mom looks like she had a night
before she took that picture.

[Khloé] You know what? When you
showed me this for the first time,

-that's exactly what you said.
-[Lamar chuckles]

You better hold onto
your mom's driver's license photo

'cause you can't get that again.

-[Malika] Lamar...
-Yes, ma'am.

[Khloé chuckles]

-[Malika] ...you have wings, sir.
-I know.

And then that's your
Sixth Man of the Year.

Let me see that. Let me see that.

-[Khloé] Go open it.
-[Malika] I'll get a razor.

I'll get something to cut it open.
Give me a second.

[Khloé] You could just pull it open.

-[Malika] No, I'll cut it.
-[Khloé] Malika. He's...

-[Lamar] Cut it.
-Then you... Open that.

[clasp thuds]

[Lamar] Oh, sh*t.

I don't have a lot
of emotion for this meeting.

Team U.S.A. stuff.

[Lamar] Oh, my weddin' bands.

I have dealt with so much trauma
in this relationship for years

and this was such the love of my life

that to learn how to unlove someone,

to have to go through all that,

it's almost like a death.

-My wife is the sh*t.
-Okay, calm down. [laughs]

So, him calling me his wife,
I mean, words are empty.

I won the Sixth Man of the Year award
and we were sh**ting our show.

Yes.

[♪ emotional music playing]

♪ I know we'll get there ♪

And we were married.

Like, when it was great,
it was spectacular.

When it was bad, it was horrific.

There wasn't a lot of in-between.

We went full-throttle
or hit the emergency brake.

♪♪

♪ A new day coming ♪

-First and only Laker.
-[Lamar] Facts.

It's crazy you kept that with you.

-[Khloé] Huh?
-You are the sh*t.

Thank you.

♪♪

[Lamar] Mm.

[♪ music fades out]

What?

It's like out of body of... out of body
right now for me a little bit.

-Why?
-I don't know.

-He look like you a lot.
-Huh?

[Lamar]
Your little boy look like you a lot.

[chuckles] That's what people say.

[♪ light, pensive music playing]

How are you doing?

Good.

But like, for real, how are you doing?

I can see Lamar's having
such a hard time speaking

and I understand.

We have been through so much.

Maybe I remind him of a time in his life
that is a really dark time, too.

I don't know.

But, right now, it's just uncomfortable
memories and feelings.

[quietly mumbling]

[sighs]

I took you through a lot, huh?

Yes.

I can't say that was the easiest time.

♪♪

No, not for me either.

Yeah, I [bleep] up.

-[Khloé] With what?
-With you.

I love, I love you for trying
your hardest with me, man.

Thank you.

And I don't... That love,
I don't think it'll ever go away.

I know it won't.

♪♪

[Kim] Next on The Kardashians...

-I'm like...
-The truth [bleep] hurts.

But let me tell you, it hurts one time.

-Wouldn't...
-A lie hurts 7,000 times.

His fault.

I was devastated for my child.

She thought that was
her happily ever after.

♪♪

[Kourtney] We'll see you guys there!

Travis bought this beautiful car.

[Travis Barker] I don't even know
if I would drive it on the freeway, babe.

What could go wrong?

-[tire pops]
-[Travis] sh*t, babe. sh*t.

[Kendall] Today is...

[both] [singing]
♪ Met Monday ♪

[reporter] Hi, Kendall!

I will never, ever do a roast again.

Am I supposed to sit there and be like,

"How innovative! You called me a wh*re"?

[♪ downbeat music playing]

♪ Turning the page,
it's a brand-new chapter ♪

♪ Off to better days,
embracing what comes after ♪

♪ Shedding doubts
like an old way of thinking ♪

♪ A new journey
and there's no way I'm sinking no more ♪

♪ It's only up from here,
up from here, I'm sure ♪

♪ I'm seeing crystal clear ♪

♪ I'm riding away,
no matter what I, no matter what ♪

♪ If I fall, I just bounce back ♪

I got married at 24,

and my mom was so excited
to take me to a store

and show me how to, like,
add things to a wedding registry.

And, of course, she took me to

the most expensive store in Beverly Hills.

I go, "My friends can't afford this stuff.
Like, who's buying me all this?

Where's the g*n that
you click things and add?"

And she's like, "This isn't Target.
They don't have that here."

-[production crew laughing]
-And I was like, "Oh, my God. Okay."

[bell tolls]