- Definitely last night, he wanted to be with Jenni.
- Let's get it!
Let's get it!
- I don't know why you're thinking about it too much.
It's just a bang.
- b*tch, you're not trying to marry him.
It's just a hookup, okay?
- I had a good idea to have a send-off dinner
for Angelina before her wedding,
but do it right at the Seaside house.
- Yes! - Angelin-er!
- I wanted to give Angelina a proper send-off.
Let's go to Seaside, boys.
[thud]
- Oh! - Oh, dang.
What kind of [bleep] is this? - You hit your head?
- ♪ Here I come ♪
- Yeah, buddy!
- Party's here!
- The situation is under construction.
- This might not have been the best idea.
- We're so classy now.
- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.
- Get the freak out of here! Are you crazy?
- Uh, hello!
♪ ♪
- ♪ Here I come ♪
- Go get your umbrella.
- ♪ I can be your weather man ♪
♪ I can make it rain ♪
♪ I see you're still coming, girl ♪
♪ Money in your thing ♪
- ♪ Yeah, let's get it ♪
♪ It's raining, it's hailing ♪
- Let's go, Angelina. It's your day.
- Angelina is getting married in a couple of days.
So we're gonna go to the shore house
because I feel like she is stressed about the wedding,
and the fact that we can give her
this kind of sentimental moment,
I feel like she's gonna like it.
- The boys are probably at the house
twiddling their freaking thumbs.
- Hopefully they're cooking and it's all done.
- Angelina was engaged two times.
So, like I--I'm still doubtful it's even gonna happen.
- [laughs]
- Jenni's going to the after-party with Pauly.
She's gonna get it in.
- [chuckles]
- Her [bleep] vag*na is like a lollipop.
- Ugh! - Man, you're just being weird.
Just [bleep] do it already.
[laughter]
- I hate all of you.
- We'll see!
♪ ♪
- ♪ Ah, turn off all the lights ♪
♪ Open up your eyes, yeah ♪
- Here we are. Straight to Seaside.
- I wonder which house it is.
- It's probably the one with the Italian flag garage.
Pop the trunk. We gotta get the gifts.
Oh, dang. All right.
- ♪ Just enjoy the ride ♪
♪ We about to catch the fire ♪
- Oh, wow.Whoo!
Wow. It still smells the same.
Home sweet home right here.
Yo, you guys gotta help me unpack this stuff.
I've got a dinner to cook.
- Wait. Let's check out the rooms.
- All right, all right, all right.
- Are the rooms still the same?
- Yo, does anyone even remember which room Angelin-er slept in
the first time around?
- Where did Angelina sleep? - I have no idea.
- This was my first bed
when I didn't want to room with anybody.
- I'd probably go with either by yourself, possibly,
'cause you don't wanna get stuck with a jerk.
- But then this became my bed.
- Yeah. - Yup.
- And Pauly's bed. - Pauly's bed.
- I personally like fake boobs.
- Get them out of here.
- You like 'em like you like a girl's eyes.
c*ck-eyed. [chuckles]
- Yeah, oh, this place has got a lot of memories, boys.
- Yup.
- Wow! It is here!
All right. - All right, here it is.
- It's happening. - Here we are.
- Captain Hook's tonight. Let's get it.
- Oh, beach combers tonight, kid!
Karma late night, kid!
- Bamboo! Bamboo, here we come!
Mike's smashing mad chicks tonight.
- Oh, GTL!
- Yo, I think I--I have a little pink eye right now.
I think I'm getting pink eye in my right eye.
- Yo, we still DTF. Down to feast now, baby.
- No. I'm down to [bleep].
[laughter]
The original.Yeah.
All right, let's go get it.
- Let's go. Let's get it.
- Wow, going down these stairs
is like no time has passed at all.
I swear.
Um... - Oh, we got a note.
- Who wrote the note? - Oh!
- What's up, guys? How are we doing?
"Enjoy!
"Be sure to stop by and say hello.
Danny."
- Oh, my God. I love a good cha-chu--
charcuterie, yes.
I love a good charcuterie plate.
This is what I'm talking about right here.
This is what I'm talking about.
I don't know about you, but I'm hungry.
All right, let's get down to business.
- Oh, my God! Yo, look at this.
Remember that? - "Smelly frog, old news"?
- When we wrote Angelina's name and crossed it out,
I don't think ever we thought that
ten years later Angelina would be back here
and we'd be celebrating her wedding.
- I think we gotta--we gotta do something about this.
- ♪ Living like high rollers, the one percent ♪
- Get your Jersey on.
- We're here! Yay!
- Ooh!
Hey, can you go make the salad?
- Great. We're almost ready.
- Oh, it's the first time the minivan's here!
Oh, my God. Wait!
Angelina, this is the first time
we're pulling up with all of us girls
at the shore house.
- Wow! - Whoa!
- Welcome to the family, b*tch.
- The wedding is in two days.
I definitely need this little getaway
to Seaside tonight
because I need, like, a little bit of relaxation.
I know that I'm a little bit nervous
about the wedding coming up.
Getting married is-- it's forever.
I mean, the same [bleep] forever.
- What up?
- Hey! What up?
Angeliners, welcome back!
- Oh, my God! - What's up, girl?
- Oh, it smells delicious.
- Are you actually cooking? - Yes!
This is all for Angelina.
- Oh, my God! It's like back in the day.
- Yup.
Listen, you missed a lot of dinners
back in the day, Angelina.
We're gonna make it up for it tonight.
- Having all the roommates
plan this whole great night for me
definitely does make me feel like
I'm finally part of the family.
And it means a lot to me.
- All right, we're ready to eat, guys.
Ready to eat. Ready to sit down.
It is so dope right now sitting back at the dinner table
at the shore house.
This is where we belong. This is our home.
We've had a decade worth of memories.
And I'm so excited that we could come back here
and sort of reminisce.
[yelling]
- Stop!
- Oh, yeah! Champagne, yeah!
- I would like to say that I'm very grateful
that we're all together again for another wedding.
Okay? - Thank you, Mike.
- And I can't wait to see you walk down the aisle.
- Oh! - Thank you.
- You're gonna be a beautiful bride.
- Exactly, you're gonna be a beautiful bride.
- Were you nervous the day of? - Oh, honey, we'll be fine.
You'll be fine. - Vinny, get off me.
- Cheers to Angelin-er.
- I can't with you.
all: Cheers! - To Angelin-ers and Chris!
- Try and enjoy every single minute...
- It goes by so quick. - It is true.
- I heard that it goes by--
well, obviously, like, everybody that I know is like,
"Oh, my God, you have to take, like, a step back,"
'cause, like, it's so quick.
- Listen to JWOWW, though. She was right.
You really have to focus on the moments,
and cherish them.
Like stop and smell the roses
because out of nowhere, it's over.
And you're like "Oh, my God, I had such a fire wedding
but, like, I was all over the place."
- 'Cause before you know it,
you're gonna be planning the divorce--
- Oh, my God.
- Vinny, don't put that [bleep] on me!
[laughter]
- Wow.
- Doing that thing. - Yeah.
- He's cracking himself up.
[laughter]
- [sighs]
Vinny is just annoying. It's like ugh!
- Save some room, guys. We have desserts.
- I ain't eating that [bleep].
- Ooh, can we see?
- Mike, when you gonna do it?
- Uh, any day.
I wanna do something with my boys and we're gonna do it.
The Situation has been under construction,
and I'm very proud to announce
that we're about to, um...
relieve.
Retrieve?
Reveal.
You saw the brain.
It was going. It was going.
Yeah, I'm ready to go.
- Wait, you're gonna reveal to them and not us?
- He's like, "I'll do it with my boys."
[laughter]
Me and the boys are gonna rent a log cabin one day.
[laughter]
Guy's trip!
- I'm trying to shame my shot.
- I'm not showing anybody my abs!
Just my boys!
[laughter]
- [coughs]
- The old me and the new me are beefing about
how we're gonna handle this situation.
[laughter]
That's some besmudgery on another level right there.
- This house is just giving me, like, the old vibes.
That's the issue. - Yes, yes.
Did anybody see the note that Danny left?
- "Hey, guys, how you doing?"
- We gotta go over there.
We gotta say hello, we gotta check in,
and then come back and have dessert.
- Let's do it. - Let's go.
- Let's go, guys.
We had an Italian as [bleep] meal.
And it's only right that we go check in with Danny right now.
How many times did we make this walk?
This walk right here? - Thousands.
- [bleep] thousands. - I'm ready for work.
- Oh, this sucks. Come on, man.
I'm, like, mentally preparing myself
to get yelled at by Danny right now.
- Jenni, you're two hours late.
Mike, why are you sitting down?
- What the [bleep]?
- Nicole, where are you going now?
- I'm gonna pee! - No, you're not!
You're chugging a beer!
- Oh, there he is.
He's gonna yell at us.
- People, where are you going?
[laughter]
Mike!
Nicole, ditch the blanket, please.
- I [bleep] hated this job.
Let's be real,
none of us were making Employee of the Month.
[vuvuzela blares]
- No sleeping at work! - Oh!
- Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro.
Wake up a little bit. Wake up.
Is Mike even here?
- I have no idea.
- This guy shows up out of uniform and late!
- But I still look good though.
- Walking into the Shore Store,
I'm actually expecting Danny to sort of rag on me as always
'cause I really wasn't his best employee.
- Hello, Danny!
- What's up, guys? What's up, guys?
- What's up, buddy?
Yes, thank you, sir. Good to see you.
- You look very good.
- You haven't seen Mike since he's been out?
- No. - Yeah, [bleep].
- He looks diesel, bro. You look great.
- But the trajectory of how I turned out,
it gives hope for the younger generations.
- Hello, Angelina. - So many memories.
- Hello. How are you?
- Very good. How you doing?
- I can see you got a new press
because I broke your other one.
- I got a new one, yes.
It's the glue. - Oh!
- You pressed it upside down! You ruined the machine!
You [bleep] the whole machine up.
- No, I'm really sorry. I'm apologizing for that.
So, I would like for you to come to my wedding
if you would like to come.
- I'd love to come, but is this how you invite people?
- I mean...
- Are you inviting me out of guilt
'cause you're seeing me right now?
- No, I just-- I wanna make amends.
And I would love for you to come.
- Oh, I appreciate that and I'll definitely be there.
I would've liked an invitation...
- All right, I'll send you another one.
I have one extra if you want it.
[laughter]
- Jesus, Angelina!
- Oh, my God. Angelina!
- You're such a brat!
- I'll send you my extra.
- Honestly, the things that come out of this girl's mouth,
I freaking can't!
- Danny, you can take my spot. I'm good.
- Relax yourself.
- I actually do need some nice bibs.
- Danny.
So we wanna take of the Plexiglas in the kitchen.
- Okay.
- 'Cause we wanna put something nice for Angelina,
'cause we crossed off her name.
- You wrote some rude things before?
- [bleep].
- [hums]
- You wanna drill something?
- Yeah, yeah, take off the Plexiglas and...
- What are you gonna write?
- I'm gonna let her write something.
So I don't know what's gonna come out of her.
- Danny is talking to Ron.
He seems a little distracted, so I'm like,
this is the perfect time to pull a prank on Danny.
Imagine? [chuckles]
- I look over, I see my girl,
and I have FOMO.
Literally, whatever my meatball does,
I wanna do.
I do what the meatball does.
[laughter]
- How was it? - Uh, in prison?
- I know it's gonna be rude asking you,
but I gotta know.
- It was an uncomfortable situation.
[laughter]
- Danny, it's us. What do you expect, honestly?
- We're gonna have our t*tties shifted.
- I mean, I do...
- Four years clean and sober right now.
- Four years? - Yes.
- Congratulations, man. - I mean, I don't know.
[laughter]
- We give the definition of you must be young and dumb...
[laughter]
To be old and wise.
- Oh, wait, wait. Put it in my hat.
Put it in my hat.
It feels so bad, but so good at the same time.
- You put it in the hat?
Did you get it in the hat?
- No [bleep] way. - She put her bun up.
- She got it in the hat.
- Maybe we're going a little overboard.
- It looks like a--
it's like a mushroom head.
But it's fine.
- Maybe this isn't really stealing
'cause Danny would want us to have this stuff.
[laughter]
- How did you get such a bulky bag?
- Ah! - My kids need clothes!
My kids need clothes!
- You're all shoplifting! - What?
- What are you talking about? - Oh, [bleep].
- What are you trying-- [shrieking]
- Oh, my God!
♪ ♪
[laughter] - Yes!
It's like the old days.
- I dropped out of the wedding.
- You dropped out of the wedding too?
- And then the other one dropped out also.
Oh, my God!
- Literally nobody is safe, and the wedding is tomorrow.
It's very dramatic for me.
- Hi, grandma.
I heard Angelina's grandma is a psychic.
I'm like, "Great [bleep].
Grandma, [...] hexed me."
- Well, I'm powerful. You gotta watch it.
- What the [bleep]?
- ♪ So put your hands up if you feel me ♪
♪ Aye, put your hands up ♪
- You girls are shoplifting!
[yelling] - Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
[laughter]
- We gotta go! [yelling]
- You're stealing!
- I'm filing a complaint! - [bleep]!
- You pushed my friend!
- I'm sorry we did this. - We'll be back to fix that.
- Well, at least they're still on the hangers.
- I can't take you guys anywhere.
- For the first time, it wasn't me!
Thank God. See you at the wedding.
- Ma, I'm home!
- I'm freezing!
Guys, please take off your shoes.
- Yeah, right.
- Being back at the shore house,
you know, it's just all the feels.
Like, it's where we all become family.
- Guys, remember when Pauly was on the phone over there?
And he's like, "God bless me! It's summer!"
- I went on one ride,
God bless me, it's [bleep] summer!
- Actually, Angelin-ers was not there for that.
- I wasn't there for a lot of stuff.
- Since you missed out on so much stuff,
so many shore houses,
we all went out and got you gifts.
- Oh, my God, you guys didn't have to do that.
Thank you. - Actually...
Pauly couldn't be here right now,
but he got you a gift.
- Vinny, I will k*ll you right now.
- Wait here. Wait here. - Oh, God.
He's here! He's here!
- No, he is not!
- Get excited, Jenni!
Jenni!
- It's happening.
- Do you guys have, like,
a bet going on about the wedding and us?
- I'll put in bucks.
- Could we get a lights out?
- I'm gonna have to live with the New Orleans-Pauly thing
for the next ten years.
- Here you go. Open that up.
- What is that? - Trash bags.
- The first time you came here, you had trash bags.
So, now you have... - Whoa!
- Luggage! [cheers]
- Oh, my God! And it's pink!
I love it!
- Yeah, but don't rip the trash bags.
You gotta use those too. - Shut up!
- Do you wanna use them, babe?
When we go away, you could have that
and I'll have the luggage?
- Yeah, I use one of those as a condom.
- Oh, my God.
- He's so weird. I don't get it.
Like I'm getting married, you as*h*le.
Like, enough.
Like, I'm never gonna be with you.
Again.
- So, Jenni, go ahead with your gift.
- Okay. - Let's go, Grandma.
- Oh, wow. - I feel like a grandma.
- Wow! - Oh!
- Wow. Wow.
The scrunchie did it. - I was joking!
- The scrunchie did it.
- Holy [bleep]!
Yes, these are my friends and they're a bunch of assholes.
- When Deena comes for you, it's big.
- Oh, my God!
Jenni, the white flag?
- I'm waving the white flag. Yes.
- It says AWOWW on one of them! - Yes.
- I invented AWOWW. I invented AWOWW.
Are you telling her to square up
and put those gloves on right now?
- Family fights harder.
Angelina and I are almost like stepsisters.
We're like--we were forced to be together,
where we low-key like each other,
but like everything we do to each other
gets on each other's nerves.
- I love this, Jenni. And I love the white flag.
- There were a lot of punches thrown.
So I just wanted to give her
a peace offering.
- We'll always agree to disagree,
but at the end of the day-- - Yes. Family.
- Yes, yes. - Aww!
- I love it. - Why are we [bleep] clapping?
- I don't know.
[laughter] - Clapping?
What is this [bleep]? - I hate us.
[cheers]
- It seemed right. - I need to go home.
- Why are we clapping? - I need to go home.
- All right, so since you are part of the meatballs now...
The hell?
I got you a Team Meatball shirt.
- Oh, I love it! - So, now you're a part of us.
- Thank you. - Yay!
- Was she supposed to open them?
- Yeah, I thought she was supposed to open them.
- I think she's supposed to open her own gifts.
- Like, Deena, Angelina is supposed to open the gifts.
That's how gift giving works.
- Oh, my God!
- These are handcuffs
Because the Meatballs are known to get drunk and get wasted
for being drunk.
[laughter]
- You mean getting arrested for being drunk?
There you go.
- I don't wanna be in trouble. No.
- I'm a [bleep] good person!
- Use them for our wedding night.
- If you wanna use them for Pauly...
- Ooh! - Yes, girl!
- [sighs] I'm so embarrassed.
- Angelin-ers,
you were actually excluded from ravioli night.
- I know.
- You were excluded from surf and turf night.
You were excluded from chicken cutlet night.
- Facts - We about to eat good tonight.
Except for Angelina. - I don't care what you--
I don't care! - You're excluded.
- I don't give [...] - Excluded.
I've got you some Tupperware,
so you can turn your L's into leftovers.
[laughter]
- She's supposed to look at it first!
[all talking at once]
- Oh, my God!
- I can't keep a surprise! I'm sorry!
- You're just as bad as me! - I'm sorry!
I really like my gift!
I don't lie, I don't cheat, I don't steal.
But I also can't keep a secret.
Turn those L's into leftovers!
- Thank you, guys.
- That's actually good Tupperware.
- It really is.
- That's good Tupperware. I'm excited about Tupperware.
- I've gotta thank Dee and then I've gotta thank Mike.
Thanks, Dee. - We're clapping.
- What happened?
- I think it's just something in the air in this house.
Like we don't even have to be drunk
to act drunk in this house.
- Since you didn't come to my wedding,
you know, it was such like a...
- Me neither. I didn't come.
- Okay, since it was such an important moment in my life...
- I wasn't invited. - Same.
- I wanted to include you in my wedding.
- Oh, my God! You Photoshopped me in!
- Oh, hey! - Oh, my God.
- Are you [bleep] serious?
[laughter] Are you [bleep] serious?
- [bleep].
Yay!
- Who the [bleep] is that?
Are you [bleep] serious?
Mike's in it too?
- Yeah!
- Even in Photoshop, I'm not allowed
in Nicole's wedding.
[laughter] Mike's in it too?
[upbeat music]
- Oh, my God! You Photoshopped me in!
- Oh, hey! - Oh, my God!
- Are you [bleep] serious?
[laughter] Are you [bleep] serious?
- Yay!
- Yay! I like that!
- Nicole's gift to Angelina was Photoshopping Angelina
into her wedding photo.
Mike's in it too? - Yeah!
- Photoshopping Mike into the wedding photo?
Someone else isn't Photoshopped
into the wedding photo.
- Mike hooked up with Nicole.
Deena hooked up with Nicole.
And I can't be in the [bleep] wedding picture?
Well, well, well.
Where we do go from here? - Here we go.
It's the--it's the perfect man of the hour.
- Well, Angelina... - Perfect man!
- Perfect?
- This means a lot to me.
It should mean a lot to you. - Oh, God.
- It's a little something that packs a big punch.
So, me and Angelina grew up in Staten Island together.
- [groans] - Is this a storybook?
- She lived miles and miles away from me.
- Oh, God!
We're never getting out of here.
- ., to be exact. - No, ..
- This address is . miles...
- Oh, she's right then!
- She was the high school girl that got away.
- He used to ask me on dates.
- In reality, you wouldn't even look my way back then.
- I mean, yeah. - And what do I always say?
I would say we're not neighbors, right?
- Yes. So why do you--what...
- Move it along, move it along.
- Guys, can you shut the [bleep] up
so I can get this done? - Hurry up!
- Maybe--maybe-- - What's with your speeches?
- We're close enough now
that we might be considered somewhat neighbors.
So, I got you a little something.
- Oh, God. I'm scared right now.
- Oh!
- Now you can come over any time you want.
- I love you more than the miles between us.
- Wow!
[laughter]
- What Angelina doesn't know is that
Vinny's selling the house.
[cheers]
Angelina walking, "Um, hello!"
And she's like, "Holy--you're not Vinny!
But hello!"
Angelina, obviously, me and you are the closest.
- Stop! - You know?
- We are. Ron's the best of the best.
- First off... - Ooh!
- First off, I resent that he's the best of the best.
- Don't be salty!
- But the best of the best?
I'm sorry I'm taking a salty direction right now,
but I'm having trouble processing this.
- Angelina, you were a prank at first,
but you were never a prank to me.
So obviously, we're all close,
and Italy brought us closer. - Thanks, Ron!
- I don't get the Italy brought us closer thing.
- Because I wasn't in Italy.
- Because she wasn't in Italy, and, after Italy,
if you think about it, we never really fought.
- It's the Leaning Tower of...
- Pisa. - Pisa!
Ron!
- You missed Italy! - I missed it!
- Italy was one of our best trips
that we've had as a family.
And you know, I felt she missed so many different trips
that we had together.
And I was, like, letting her know
like you're not gonna miss anymore trips with us.
- Guys, let's be honest.
Italy was awesome.
- Let's be honest. Yeah.
- Deena played the robbery.
Deena pulled a robbery on me
when I was trying to have a threesome with the twins.
- And then she took it from me after I took it from you.
- Yes!
- [bleep] yeah?
[chuckles] - Back and switch.
- Okay, just--first off,
first of all, I don't even like...
- Then don't clap your hands around here!
- I brought the girl back from Italy.
- Oh!
- You took her, and then I took her back.
- Exactly.
- I freaking pulled a robbery on The Situation and Vinny.
b*tches. Just saying.
- I loved all your gifts. Thank you so much, guys.
- Yeah. - Yes.
- You guys made me feel like I was part of this the whole time
and I--I wasn't here.
[cheers] - Clapping again!
- Yay. - Yay!
- How, you know, my life was ten years ago,
it's been a total .
Thank you, guys,
for making me laugh, 'cause I needed that laugh.
I [bleep] can't even believe this.
Like, I feel so loved,
and I feel amazing that they feel this way about me.
- You're gonna be amazing. - All right, let's go, team!
- We're doing it. - You have a big day tomorrow.
- Gotta go, big day tomorrow. - So long, house.
- Oh, wait. Before we leave.
- You've got to write your name on the wall.
- Tonight was an overall success,
but there's one last thing we have to do before we leave,
and that's to put Angelina's name up.
- This is like going into the Louvre
and painting over the Mona Lisa.
- And take away all of the-- what would Mike call it?
The besmudgery.
- Oh! - Oh, [bleep]!
- I'm just gonna leave that there.
Oops.
Can't leave without breaking something.
Sorry, Danny.
[somber music]
♪ ♪
Oh, right over Mike's name. Wow!
Right over--wow!
- Oh, my God! - Wow!
♪ ♪
- You dirty little hamster!
- Ang, Ang, Ang, Ang.
- Ange?
You [bleep] wrote Ange?
- Who the [bleep] is Ange?
- She had one job. - One job.
One job.
- ♪ We broke them all down ♪
- We gotta wedding to go to. Let's go.
Bye, guys. - Love you.
- Love you. See you tomorrow.
- ♪ A new page ♪
- You dirty little hamster! - Yay!
[laughter]
all: To the wedding!
- ♪ Can't survive without you ♪
♪ Man, I tried ♪
♪ Last time I did ♪
♪ I nearly died without my ride or die ♪
♪ She keep it real, no reason to lie ♪
- Hey! - Hi!
- What's up? - You ready?
- Yes.
Tonight is my rehearsal dinner.
So I'm going to get my hair and my makeup done.
And I'm kind of getting nervous.
- You ready for this?
- I'm, like, tired-looking face.
- No, don't worry. You're gonna relax.
- I need a drink right about now.
I mean, the wedding is tomorrow.
I have a lot on my mind.
- What are you wearing to the rehearsal?
- White, just a white dress. - Okay.
- [bleep], first of all, I hate wearing white.
Like, my spray tan kind of got blotched over here,
which is, like, weird.
I like very red, though, too, because of tanning.
I haven't been breathing good either.
And you don't bring a [bleep] toaster oven,
a microwave.
You don't bring anything that's in a box to a wedding.
My friend's making the seating chart.
- How did that go, the seating chart?
- Ugh. - [laughs]
- If one mother[bleep] shows up to my wedding
with a [bleep] toaster oven, they're out.
Everyone's texting me like, "Can you sit me with this one?
Can you sit..." - I know.
Just stay calm.
- I'm in rare form.
All I know is, I've got to calm down a little bit,
or I will not be able to make it tomorrow.
Oh, my God, tomorrow.
- ♪ Tomorrow ♪
- I'm dead.
[upbeat music]
- ♪ Today be the day that I'm going all in ♪
♪ Time to double down, feelin' like I'm gonna win ♪
- No, wait, ready? We have to do a scene
in every frickin' Hallmark movie
where we bump into each other, and then we, like,
you drop something, and I have to pick it up.
- Oh. - Oh, oh. Oh, thanks.
- Hey, how are you? - Oh, oh, thank you.
Good. I haven't seen you since...
- Yeah, I just saw you in the copy machine room, yeah.
- Yeah.
That's how all the Hallmark movies start.
- Copy machine room?
[laughter] All right.
- All right.
- Ooh.
- I'm gonna be so pale for this wedding.
- I am too. - So annoyed.
- Are we writing speeches?
- Her sister, who is the maid of honor,
is gonna do, like, an amazing speech for her.
So we could do a funny speech.
We are in Angelina's wedding.
And we're all kind of sisters.
We kind of want to say a little something at the wedding.
- You guys have to help me, like, put it together.
- Just to be like, "Hey, girl. We love you."
I kind of want it to be funny.
- Well, we could-- we're gonna make it funny.
- Okay. - But we start it out cute.
- Um...
- Show me your t*ts.
Show me your t*ts.
- Angelina, can you stop talking?
- You pooped your pants.
- It was, like, period [bleep].
- What the... - She stuck her a*s
[bleep] 'fetti cake.
No!
[quirky music]
- All the memories I have with her are raunchy.
- They're all raunchy. - Facts.
- I feel like we should do, like, the raunchy stuff.
- ♪ I said, okay, okay, okay, okie dokie, my infatuation ♪
♪ I ain't met you, I've been looking ♪
♪ Stop the waiting 'fore I stop the chasing ♪
♪ Like an alcoholic ♪
- Is Pauly meeting us here at the haircut place?
- He is. - All right, dope.
- Pauly looked good already.
He's getting, like, an extra haircut?
Is Jenni gonna be there? - Ooh.
- A little PD&J sandwich.
You know? Like... - Went to the gym
one more time, got an extra tan.
- It seemed like he was blushing on FaceTime.
- Oh, look, it's Jenni.
- What up, bro? - Look, it's Jenni.
- She's blushing.
- Looked like he was-- he was blushing a little.
- No, he's always orange.
- [laughs]
♪ ♪
- There are normally, like, shticky things you put in,
like, a speech at a wedding,
funny, but then there's, like, off the table, like,
you cannot talk about,
and I feel like our whole relationship
with Angelina is off the table in what...
- I know. - You shouldn't talk about.
Angelina is so over-the-top in life.
We've decided that if we go up there rainbows and unicorns,
it wouldn't be authentic to Angelina.
- I feel like there's nothing we can't say.
- I know she likes that type of humor.
- Chris' brother, I feel like he's gonna take
the best man speech and [bleep] embarrass
the [bleep] out of me and Chris.
I actually said-- I like was, like--he's like,
"I think I'm gonna hold back and say"--
- I'm like, "No, don't [bleep] hold back.
I want to hear what the [bleep] you want to say."
So that's gonna be funny.
- She has a good sense of humor.
And she doesn't take herself seriously,
which I love about her.
- Same.
- A raunchy person needs a raunchy speech.
And I feel like she's gonna get it,
and she's gonna laugh and [bleep] love it.
You are like a thorn in my side.
- Yes.
- You are the fly to my [bleep].
- The c*ck to the-- our shore house.
- Yeah. You are the trash to our bags.
- Yes.
- You're the spray to our vag*na.
- [laughs]
- My vag*na's fine.
- Well, mine's not.
I have swamp a*s.
- [laughs] - I'm sweating.
- You are the dump to my island.
- Yes, end on that.
No, she's gonna crack up.
I feel like us girls are perfect
to do this speech, because we're always
roasting each other and being sarcastic with each other.
She's gonna die when we say all this.
She's gonna love this.
- I'll do, like, the main speaking.
- Good. I don't do speeches.
I get, like, this crazy amount of, like, dry mouth.
Like, it's wild.
- Just make out with Pauly before,
and you won't have dry mouth.
- Wow.
- You guys are gonna slow dance.
You grab Pauly, I'll grab her,
and then we push each other together.
- Oh, my God. This is great.
Let's make it happen.
- The meatballs are gonna make it happen.
- Team PWOWW.
- I wonder how the rehearsal dinner's gonna be tonight.
- A hot mess, and I am here for it.
♪ ♪
Ahh.
- Are we meeting her at the church?
- Where are we going? - Are we allowed to be drunk
in a church?
- I've done it.
[laughter]
- ♪ Okay I'm on my way ♪
♪ / days ♪
- Yeah, I guess.
- Your magic priest is here.
- Hi.
- How are you? - I'm okay.
Father Joe is just such a good guy.
- I could see that you're a little nervous.
I don't want you to be.
- From the day I met him, I said,
"Oh, my God. That's the guy."
- So how you feeling? - I'm okay.
I'm just very overwhelmed.
I need, like, a, like a, "Whew," you know?
- How about we order a couple of tequila shots?
No, no, we won't do that. I'm only kidding.
- I really want that.
He's such a cute, like, man.
I wasn't able to really do too many errands
that I needed to do, and, like, you know.
- I know. - The wedding is tomorrow.
It's very nerve-racking, because I have so much to do.
And I want my wedding to be, like, perfect.
- Have to focus on your faith.
You have to focus on your future husband.
It's gonna be absolutely perfect.
- I mean, listen, I'm extra AF.
That's me, extra as [bleep].
- Let us pray.
Heavenly God, bless this bride,
a bride with an angelic name.
- And that's just my name, extra.
- Do not let her be stressed about
what's happening around her.
- So I want an extra as [bleep] wedding day.
- May she be blessed in the name of the Father
and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen. - Amen.
- Bless you. Enjoy this.
I'll see you all downstairs. - Thank you.
See you downstairs. - Thank you.
- He's so cute.
- ♪ Yeah, first you be loving me ♪
♪ And then I'm loving you ♪
♪ And now you cussing me ♪
♪ Well, [...], I hate you too ♪
♪ What am I supposed to do? ♪
- What's up, guys?
- You taking the first spot, Ron?
- Yeah, I'll go first... - All right, cool.
- 'Cause you're already freshed up.
- All right, cool.
- Mike, stop flexing.
- I'm actually--I'm-- I'm really not flexing.
- Doesn't it hurt just to stand...
- If hating is your occupation,
I have a full-time job for you.
- Wow. I remember that one from .
[laughter]
- They just salty, and that only seasons my sauces.
- These are official wedding cuts right here.
- The one that got away is getting married.
- Angeliners, yep. - Yep.
- I'm a little upset about it.
- Are you gonna close the chapter on this one?
- Oh, no. It's never closed.
- [laughs] - It's--it's an obstacle.
- It's always-- it's always a wait and see.
- Yes. - [laughs]
- This isn't good-bye.
It's "I'll see you in my DMs."
- Exactly. [laughter]
- It's never good-bye.
- ♪ Oh oh oh ♪
- Oh, my God.
You look insane.
- Thank you. - This looks sick.
- See, I'm not good with this booby tape stuff.
- You have big boobies. What do you want to do?
- Oh, I hate being a woman sometimes.
Can I come back and be a man for a day?
- So easy.
♪ ♪
- Did anyone order a DJ?
- What up, my dude? - What up, man?
- Oh, [bleep]. - I'm good. How are you?
- Good to see you. - Good to see you, baby.
Never did I ever think I would ever say
I flew in for Angelina's wedding.
- Right, you stopped your schedule
for Angelina's wedding.
- You came straight from the airport.
- Yeah, DJ life.
- Yo, speaking of that, the other day,
when we did the FaceTime, when I turned it towards JWOWW,
I'ma tell you, she kind of was blushing.
- Oh, listen, I don't want to-- I don't want to bring it up.
- I thought Pauly was blushing.
Face looked like his shoes.
What you talking about? This guy was lit.
- No, that's my sister, man.
- Yeah, adopted sister.
Sister.
That never stopped any of us in the past.
That's for sure.
- [laughs]
- Mike being with Snooki means that Pauly and Vinny
and Mike have swapped spit.
- Eww.
- One can dream. One can dream.
PWOWW .
- What if he gets that green light?
[laughter]
- But I'll--I'll be that guy.
- Yeah, he said, "I'll be that guy."
- I'll be honest, I haven't heard anything about
in a minute, so I don't know if we're...
- Is he still teething? [laughter]
- All right, I'm changing my dress.
I just don't--I just feel so-- it's so tight.
I can't even walk, - Just leave it.
- With Angelina, late is actually on time.
- How long have you been here? - An hour and a half.
- I guess that dinner's not starting at :.
- No.
- Have you seen Angelina or heard from her?
- No. - No.
- Oh, you want champagne? - I mean, you--
I don't know how to do this.
- Where the [bleep] is Angelina?
[bottle pops] - Ahh!
- ♪ I like to wake up, make money ♪
- All right. - [bleep].
You can see it, though.
[bleep]. [bleep]. [bleep] [bleep].
- ♪ Call it a day ♪ - ♪ Call it a day ♪
- She has four hours to get ready.
That's what she told me.
- I guarantee you she's not gonna be ready.
- Yo, you should FaceTime the girls.
- Hey, guys.
- Hi, guys.
- Oh, Jenni, look who it is.
Jenni, Jenni, look.
- Ohh! - I hate our roommates.
- Ooh.
- Yeah, you guys have to slow dance at the wedding.
- Yeah.
- [bleep] hate all of you.
- [laughs]
- Whoo!
- We'll see you guys soon. - All right.
- All right, we'll see you guys later.
- Bye. - Bye.
- Angelina just texted me,
"I'm in a mood."
She said, "I hate my dress. I look fat."
- How does she look fat? - And I said,
"Girl, you're so skinny." - She's skinny as a needle.
- I said, "I'm sure you look great."
She goes, "No." - Oh, my God.
- Just "N-O."
- Oh, [bleep].
Angelina is just exhausted.
She's stressed about this wedding.
She has a lot of anxiety,
and she, like, talks to herself in her head.
- Oy vey.
- Girl, it's your rehearsal. Come on.
Relax.
- Namaste.
- ♪ Watch me throw it back ♪
♪ You should go and stick your chest out ♪
♪ Watch me throw it back ♪
♪ You should go and stick your chest out ♪
- ♪ Push push push ♪
- You ready to start?
- [sighs]
I have, like, a black blazer.
Should I have put that on over this?
- I wouldn't put a jacket on.
♪ ♪
- We're here. Let's go.
- She's gonna be on time?
- She was an hour late to her own bridal shower,
so I can only imagine.
With Angelina, late is actually on time.
- Hello. - How are you?
- Are you the priest? - I am, I'm Father Joe.
- Hi, nice to meet you, Father Joe.
I'm Nicole. - Hi. Deena.
- Great to meet all of you.
I know. - Hi, nice to meet you.
- You all look wonderful. - Hi.
- Great to see you. - Thank you. Nice to meet you.
- Thank you. Bless you.
- Guys, this is Angelina's mom and her grandma.
- Hi. - How are you?
- Hi. How are you? - Gorgeous.
- How are you? - I'm Angelina's grandma.
- Yes, hi, Grandma. How are you?
- Hi, gorgeous. - Nice to meet you.
- I'm am so excited to see Grandma Angelina.
All I know is, I need to befriend her.
Like, we need to be friends.
- My grandmother is a psychic.
Do you know what she said to me?
She's sees in the future
Jenni and Roger getting divorced.
Isn't that crazy?
- What? - What?
- Like, who-- are you talking to me?
- Grandma, stop.
- Why? She's adorable. I love it.
She concerns me a little bit.
Hi, Grandma.
[tense music]
♪ ♪
[quirky music]
I don't know what's going on with Angelina's grandma.
For some reason, I feel like she doesn't like me.
- Are you guys excited?
[tense music]
- Yeah.
- [laughs] Yeah. - Yeah.
- Is Angelina still getting ready?
[knock at door]
- Come in.
- Hey.
- Oh, my God. What the hell? - You look so good.
What? - Where'd you get these?
The whole-- look at the shoes.
- These old things? - Yeah, right.
- They were very expensive. - What--what brand is that?
- Salvatore Ferragamo. - You're an as*h*le.
- It's our money now.
- What? - It's our money now.
- I'll k*ll you. Literally, I'll k*ll you.
- [laughs] - Everyone's here, right?
- Yeah. - Everyone?
- We're all waiting for you. You take forever to get ready.
[laughter]
- We're gonna go get a drink.
- Yeah, we're gonna go to the bar.
- Is my sister here?
- Yes. Say, listen-- - Is my mom here?
- Uh, yeah. - My grandma?
- What do you want me to do, go through the whole list?
- I just want to make sure they're here.
- Yeah, they're all here. - Okay, good, good, good.
[tense music]
- What the [bleep]?
That look...
♪ ♪
Yeah, that look was death.
♪ ♪
- Did you remember the robes?
- Yes. - Okay, good.
- Did you remember the robes? No.
- No, I left them on-- - I had to bring them.
Exactly. - Excuse me.
I left them on the bed so that you could bring them.
- Oh, 'cause you didn't remember.
- 'Cause I couldn't fit them in my [bleep]--I had so much--
Did you see the stuff in my car?
- And I feel like I'm being watched.
I need to hide.
Like, her grandma,
she's gonna put a [bleep] spell on us.
♪ ♪
- This is, like, too much for me.
- But you say I never do anything for you.
Meanwhile, I do everything.
- No bickering before our wedding.
- Yeah, please, over there.
I'm talking to you, no bickering.
- You're in for a lovely life, Christopher.
- Hi. - Hi.
- How are you? - Good.
- I'm Jenni, by the way. - Alana. Nice to meet you.
- You too.
- That's fine.
I'm the one that leaves and comes back, leaves.
- I left too. - You left group too?
- No, I didn't leave the group.
I left-- I dropped out of the wedding.
- You dropped out of the wedding too?
Ohh. [laughs]
- Why?
- Why did you drop out?
- 'Cause I got into a big fight with her.
- You too? - And then the other one
dropped out also. Oh, my God.
Like, oh, my gosh.
Maybe--I guess this is just how Angelina has relationships.
- She loves drama. Like, this is her life.
- Been dealing with her for years,
so I'm kind of used to it. I just brush it away.
- So this is normal? - But yeah,
we got into a big fight.
I said, "I'm not coming back."
And she was like, "Good, you're kicked out."
So I kind of got relieved, and I was like, "Good,"
you know, but then here I am.
- Wow.
- Crazy pants. - Yeah.
Literally nobody is safe, and the wedding is tomorrow.
I feel like Angelina might turn on the meatballs next.
God.
I just want a martini.
It's very dramatic for me.
- ♪ Now I could break it down, break it down ♪
- Why did you drop out?
- I got into a big fight with her.
- You too?
- And then the other one dropped out also.
Oh, my God!
- What the [bleep] is going on?
Because Jeanine got kicked out, and they were literally
best friends forever, and she was the maid of honor.
- Known her since I'm two.
She's been in my family. She's my third sister.
She's, like, ride-or-die.
- This is my best friend, guys.
[together] Hi.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- And then Alana got kicked out.
Jenni wasn't even a part of the wedding.
There's a lot of drama with the girls.
- Crazy pants.
I didn't know all these people left
and then came back and left.
- This is like Bridesmaids Anonymous right now.
- Oh, God. - [laughs]
- Wow.
- It's very dramatic for me.
- All right, I'm changing my dress.
I just don't--I just feel so-- it's so tight.
I can't even walk. - Just leave it.
Doesn't make you look [bleep] fat.
I guess that dinner's not starting at :.
- No.
I don't know. Should I wear a black blazer?
I don't feel comfortable like this.
Oh, this mirror is so cool.
No, you know what? I'll leave it.
- Everyone's waiting for you downstairs,
hour and half late.
- I'm not--I'm not late.
- Oh, God.
- What's wrong? - Huh?
- What's wrong, Grandma?
My God.
She scares me.
- Why were you rolling your eyes?
- I see a lot of phonies. - Yeah.
- You know, I'm, like, I'm psychic.
- Angelina's grandma is a psychic,
medium, powerful, and I don't like this [bleep].
You don't see that with me, do you?
- I--I...
- [bleep] my life.
- I'm like, "Great, Grandma [bleep] hexed me."
♪ ♪
- Well, I'm powerful.
You've got to watch it.
Got to watch it.
- And now this wedding is turning into, like,
a living horror movie.
How long have you been here? - An hour and a half.
- What are those? You told me about my shoes.
You talk about me wasting money.
- Have you seen Angelina or heard from her?
- No.
- Oh, you want champagne?
- I mean, you--I don't know how to do this.
- Where the [bleep] is Angelina?
[bottle pops] - Ahh!
- Hit you in the face?
- Today is my wedding day.
all: Ahh!
- Yo, it's so cold over here.
- I just feel this weird vibe from Pauly.
- Whoa. - Oh, my God.
- Jenni!
- Oh, okay. - Grandma's got me shook.
I don't know what will cure this...
- She's a white witch of God.
- Did you have to say it out loud?
- Oh--just kidding. - We're kidding!
- Oh, obviously--whoa. Oh, she's gonna [bleep].
- Yo! - [shrieks]
- Even on our wedding night? Come on.
- She's got Vinny's [bleep].
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
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03x26 - Rewriting History
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Series is a revival, sequel, and reunion series of the reality television series Jersey Shore, which ran from 2009 to 2012.
Series is a revival, sequel, and reunion series of the reality television series Jersey Shore, which ran from 2009 to 2012.