03x30 - Reunion

[bunniefuu]

- I'm going to Jersey Shore, b*tch!

- ♪

- In the winter of --

- Eight guidos were introduced to the world.

- Hello? - What up, homie?

- What's up, man? Paul.

- Party's here!

- Nine seasons, one hundred twenty-five episodes.

- And ten years later?

- I want this thing forever.

We are still here.

- Party's here!

- JENNI: From seaside to Miami--

- Woo-hoo!

- VINNY: Italy, Las Vegas, and back--

- "Jersey Shore" just turned ten years old.

- ALL: Happy birthday!

- And now we're about to spend the night recapping--

- NICOLE: --reliving and counting down--

- MIKE: --every laugh, hookup, fight, and moment--

- VINNY: --that made "Jersey Shore" what it is today.

- I'm gonna [bleep] fist pump [bleep]

'til my [bleep] arm falls off.

- So let's get this started.

- Let's do it! - Let's do it!

- ALL: Yeah! - Everybody.

- Happy birthday, b*tches!

- [horns blowing]

- The last ten years, there were a lot of makeout sessions.

Ten years of kisses.

Pauly D and JWoww.

- Yeah, it was definitely vibing.

Like, it felt right.

The best day of my life. - Look at me in my sunglasses.

- PAULY D: She has a boyfriend back home.

But I predict her not having that boyfriend anymore.

[laughs]

- Same, Pauly. Same.

- PAULY D: Yo, we caught a vibe in that club.

- VINNY: Yeah.

- At this moment, I was like, "Damn,

we're gonna hook up right now."

- Yup. You guys should do it again.

- PAULY D: Look at that. - And she had a boyfriend.

- I'll be that guy.

- Oh my god! [laughs]

Oh, I was the person in the house to see the pierced p*nis.

Needed to go to [bleep] church after that one.

- MIKE: Mike and Snooki.

This is, like, one of my best friends here, my sister.

And her daughter walked down the aisle at my wedding.

- NICOLE: Why is everyone inside sitting on the couch?

- Not everybody's as wild as me and Snooks.

- I don't care!

Half the time we were filming back then, I was wasted.

- Me too.

- We were the worst in the house.

- Yeah, we were the wildest.

- So I don't even remember what went on.

- [laughing] Hold on.

Alright, I got it. I got it.

- Oh my god, I'm naked right now!

- We can fast forward this part.

If you're hungry, try a Snickers.

- Yeah, try me.

- [laughs] Alright.

- Ew! I can't even watch it.

Like, I don't wanna see that.

- Oh my god, this is so gross!

- ♪

- Ew, it's still happening.

- Oh my god, oh my god. - Ew!

- Oh my god. - Goodbye.

- BOTH: [laughter]

- I swear to god, if my daughter

does anything like this, she's done.

Where's the boys?

- PAULY D: Snooki and Vinny.

- I mean, Snooki wanted the D.

And she was asking you, asking Mike,

and then she wanted to ask me.

She came to me last. - BOTH: [laughter]

- Vinny, Vinny. Bayboo!

- JENNI: Oh, god.

Like, this should be deleted from history.

- Hey, sexy man. Woo-hoo!

- Come spoon with me.

This is, like, a quintessential

don't hook up with a roommate moment

because it definitely started to cause tension in the house.

- It got you uninvited to the wedding.

- ♪

- Wow.

- NICOLE: You have no idea how big this thing was.

Like, this big.

- I feel like she just gave him his career at Chippendales,

by the way, for saying that.

- It's, like, putting, like, a watermelon into,

like, a pinhole. - [laughs]

- Shh! Don't say anything.

- Nicole told the world that I have a big p*nis.

- Mm-hmm.

- I still write her a residual check to this day.

- Let me see.

Vinny and Angelina.

- We can skip this one. - Nah, bro.

- Staten Island ferry. - Staten Island ferry.

- The one hookup that I do regret is the Vinny one.

I still can't understand why I did not like him,

and I was like, "Alright, let me hook up with him."

Like, what? - Come on, Angelina.

Welcome to my [bleep] smush.

- Vinny, are you serious right now?

- Oh, damn.

- This is called a hate bang, okay?

- No, this is called me and Angelina need some privacy.

- Yo, this is--me and Angelina need some privacy.

- Oh my god, Vinny. Are you crazy right now?

Probably better for me that I was intoxicated,

not remembering that.

- [cheering]

- I need an Italian!

- PAULY D: Pauly D and Deena.

What do you want me to do? - Nothing.

- Tell me.

- Kiss. - Right now?

- Italy was a lot of things for Deena.

But Deena and Pauly making out?

That was a whole 'nother thing.

- [screams]

- What the hell? What the hell?

How can you hook up with a roommate?

- No, you just did, bro. - I would never do that.

Vinny's pissed.

- In a different country, it doesn't count.

- Right.

- Awkward.

I was a hot mess in Italy.

Just fricking roll the clips.

- Aah!

- VINNY: Snooki and Deena.

- [laughs]

- These I will not let my son watch.

- ♪

- Bro, literally the most unexpected hookup ever.

- These meatballs were sauced.

What the hell?! Lesbianas here!

- Does that turn you on?! - No!

- NICOLE: I love making out.

I'm the best kisser, I think, in this whole planet.

Or on this whole planet.

- It's like when girls study abroad.

They end up banging broads. It's fine.

- How do you make out [unintelligible]?

- Oh, thank god.

- Ew! I-- I can't watch that.

Oh my god.

I really don't want my kids to see that.

- ♪

- Look at me and Auntie Deena kissing.

Yeah, no.

I wanna lock this footage up forever.

- [birds chirping]

- RONNIE: The Note Kiss.

I didn't three-way kiss anybody, did I?

- You did. - [laughs]

- This is the legendary kiss.

And if this never happened, the note never would've happened.

So...this is some [bleep].

- Yeah, you definitely did, my dude.

- Oh my god, what...the-- what the [bleep]?

- ♪

♪ I'm on that baller life

- Oh! I got [bleep] anxieties.

Caused a lot of grief in my life for a very long time,

'til this day.

- ♪

- RONNIE: Hey. - Hm.

- What's up?

- Oh, hey, what's up?

Did you do you last night?

- Did someone ask, "Did you do you last night?"

That means you were allowed to do you 'cause you were single.

So how the [bleep] did I get in trouble?

- Lesson learned. Don't three-way kiss on camera.

- PAULY D: When we come back,

ten years of takedowns.

- [bleep]!

- And ten years of spiraling.

- Where's the beach?

[screams]

- Get me out of this car!

- PAULY D: The Guido Dictionary.

- Two episodes after the show was airing,

Katy Perry was wearing a GTL shirt.

- PAULY D: GTL, baby. Gym, Tan, and Laundry.

Back in effect, looking FTD

and trying to get chicks that are DTF.

- "Jersey Shore" took over the world.

- What time is it now? - I would say it's almost...

- BOTH: T-shirt Time!

- We were just talking, having a conversation, like, "Bro,

it's T-shirt time." Then the episode would air.

And then all of a sudden, it's everybody's T-shirt Time.

- At the end of the day, your man's just gonna look like

a [bleep] chooch.

- Where's that keto chooch?

There's my chooch!

- We changed culture. We've been trendsetters.

- You're trying to smush right now?

- Do they get the smush room?

I was, like, in Australia or something.

I just, like, stepped out of a car.

And, like, people rushed me and yelled, "Cabs are here."

I'm like, this is Australia. Like, how do you--

- [fake Australian accent] The cabs are here!

- [indistinct chatter]

- Whoa! Whoa!

- VINNY: I think it's safe to say

that Italians have short fuses

and we're not afraid to speak with our fists

if it comes to that.

- PAULY D: Ten years of takedowns.

- That was good!

- I don't want to say we brought on a lot of fights,

but we probably brought on a lot of fights.

- DEENA: People would come up to us

'cause they saw cameras following us.

- VINNY: We even had security that rolls with us.

But, you know, we're out there in the crowds.

We're living like normal people.

- We were just out there in the trenches.

- Relax, relax, relax.

- I think that's the only time I've ever been in fights,

is on "Jersey," to be honest with you.

- ♪

There are a couple of haters at the club.

I blew a kiss to 'em, I said, you know, "Come get some."

- PAULY D: Nine Pounds of Pressure.

- Bamboo was definitely a little more ratchet.

- [bleep].

- All of a sudden, one of the clowns pushes Vinny,

and I [bleep] snapped.

- VINNY: Dude touches me. - I know.

- Like--like, we're just chilling in the club.

I can't imagine-- - You did nothing.

- I did nothing.

This kid just, like, starts, like, swinging at me.

Do I have to fight right now?

Like, is this really happening right now?

- PAULY D: I hit him clean

with a clean right cross right to the face.

I hit him in the nose.

It only takes pounds of pressure to break a nose.

- RONNIE: "All it takes is pounds of pressure

to break your nose." DJ Pauly D.

- PAULY D: Don't let this spiked hair fool you.

Like, I'm not a b*tch.

- NICOLE: Pauly D is so positive now.

Seeing Pauly just randomly go up and punch a guy in the club

now is [bleep] weird.

- Nobody pushes my boy, like, in the club.

- When Pauly defended me, that's when our bromance started.

That's how I knew that this was my knight in shining armor.

- That I was the keeper.

- Yo, I don't get involved in your [bleep] relationships!

Are you [bleep] serious?!

I [bleep] stay away all the [bleep] time!

- MIKE: Situation versus the Wall.

- Mike was trying this defense mechanism.

Maybe if he acts like an insane person,

Ronnie won't want to fight him.

- You want to [bleep] do it?!

You want to do [bleep]?!

You wanna throw my [bleep]?!

You wanna do this [bleep]?!

- Oh!

I didn't even hear him hit the wall.

That's how hard the wall was.

- You alright? Look at me.

Are you okay?

- That was not a thought-out decision right there.

- Keep walking, bro.

- MIKE: Come at Me, Bro.

"Come at me, bro" is an awesome tagline.

I hear it ten years later.

You got a problem? Come at me, bro.

Come at me. Come on.

I said "Come at me" because I know that it's self-defense.

So when the cops come, I was actually just defending myself.

[shouts]

- ♪

- BOTH: [grunting]

- I was the house with Pauly.

- WOMAN: Ronnie just got into a fight on the boardwalk.

- We received a phone call.

Ronnie just got into a bad fight on the boardwalk?

- WOMAN: In the middle of the boardwalk.

- When you get a call, and there's a fight on

the boardwalk, there's no question

if you're going or not.

It's like, "What shoes should I wear?"

Where's he at? What happened?

- I don't like you. - I don't like you!

- PAULY D: Sammi versus JWoww.

- JWoww is intimidating. I wouldn't want to fight JWoww.

But that's why it was shocking, because Sammi actually used to

go at it with her physically. - And she fought back.

- [bleep] stop [bleep] your face right now!

You're calling me a-- - [bleep] face, too!

- Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!

- [bleep]! - Stop!

- [bleep]! - Stop! Stop [bleep] doing this!

Stop! Stop!

- BOTH: Whoa!

- VINNY: Sammi got one in the head.

That was a big one.

- Stop!

- The Sammi and JWoww fights were legendary.

They came at each other harder than some of the guy fights.

- Stop it! Stop!

- [bleep]! - Stop!

- JENNI: So what? I [bleep] wrote the note.

I'm not the one that cheated on you.

So why am I getting punched in the face?

- That's what happens when you write a note.

You should have minded your own business, JWoww!

- All of youse in this house are [bleep] fake!

And I want you all to know that I can't stand any of youse!

- Okay! Hold my earrings, please.

The Hamster Punch.

Taking down Angelina, I blacked out.

So the first time I saw it was when the episode aired.

And I was like, holy [bleep].

- RONNIE: Standing in one corner,

'-- inches with the pouf--

Snooki [bleep] Polizzi.

- Nicole looks like an 's workout video.

Let's work, girls! Let's work out!

- Don't do--

Don't do that to me right now, or I'm gonna leave!

Yes, I was not the easiest person to get along with.

But I did not think that there was gonna be, like,

a troll fight.

- Get off her!

Nicole had some really nice panties on that day, thankfully.

- Bring it on! Bring it the [bleep] on!

- And round two. - [bell rings]

- Bring it on, b*tch!

- It's only two girls!

That was one of my favorite fights, you know?

Such a harmless fight, but no one got hurt.

- Yeah, it was like two children fighting.

- NICOLE: Hey, what's up, pretty?

Hey! I'm so pretty, b*tch!

- Yes, b*tch. That's my best friend, guys.

- Is this gonna go to decision? Or is there gonna be a knockout?

- ALL: [laughter]

- Look at how deep my v-neck was.

- BOTH: [laughter]

- VINNY: It's like down to your [bleep].

- BOTH: [laughter]

- Bring me back.

JWoww Jawbreaker.

There was, like, a rule that night that nobody was gonna take

anybody back to the hotel room.

You know, you have to go home with another roommate.

I was like, "Bro, you can't take this b*tch home.

"We have ten minutes left.

"We have to go home with a roommate.

I just barfed everywhere. Just, like, be a friend."

Oh my god. Let's go upstairs.

- I chose A. And then JWoww was B.

And then I got the old back fist to the face.

- Get the [bleep] outta here!

- GUYS: Oh! - See what I'm saying?

- That was the most perfectly landed back fist in history.

- GUYS: Oh!

- I didn't think that it was gonna connect.

I mean, I did it backwards, spinning weird [bleep].

- MIKE; Listen, that connected.

- I am so sorry that that actually connected.

I thought I was just gonna-- [makes popping sound]

No, it hit.

- It's not for you! - [bleep] you!

- PAULY D: The Punch Heard around the Reality World.

- This punch made our show go viral around the world.

- Mm-hmm.

- It's not for you! Who are you? Go away!

- You can see on his face he's intoxicated.

- Listen, this guy's-- - Shut the [bleep] up.

- Don't tell me the shut the [bleep] up.

I'm not telling you to the shut the [bleep]--

- Take your ugly a*s out of our faces.

- [boom]

- [sobs]

- Are you serious?

- [shouting]

- ♪

- When this aired, I didn't wanna watch it because,

you know, it literally just happened.

So I didn't wanna, like, relive it because, you know,

it was scary. It was, like, traumatizing.

- She's bleeding all over.

- But now looking back at it, like,

I could watch it over and over and be like, that was amazing.

Like, I'm still alive.

Because I literally flung off the chair, my little a*s.

[sobs]

- JENNI: As much as I hate that day,

I think it was the day that I knew that I, like,

just absolutely loved Nicole and never wanted anything

to ever happen to one of my roommates.

- [sobs]

- Nicole was a little bit of an oddball in the family.

And then all of a sudden, this happened to her.

And then we just, like, held her tight,

like, "You're our sister."

- MIKE: That one event, although it was tragic,

eventually brought us closer together as roommates,

and eventually family that we are now.

- We love you, Snooks.

- NICOLE: When we come back.

Ten years of spiraling.

- ♪

- PAULY D: Oh, yeah! [bleep]! Oh!

- I never danced my underwear off in my life.

She goes hard. I give her credit.

- ALL: Hello!

- Ten years of confessionals.

- Oh, you hit me in they eye, boy!

- You go into a room. You push a little record button.

And you kind of record, like, what's going on in the moment.

- You [bleep]. You're a [bleep] loser.

- Go like this. Go like this.

- Oh my god!

- RONNIE: With the confessionals, it's like,

stupid [bleep] comes out of our mouths.

And the most memorable [bleep] comes out of our mouths.

- Ham. [blows raspberry]

- ALL: [cheering]

- I love a good confessional. It's kinda like therapy for us.

[fake Australian accent] Hello! We're in Australia.

And right now, we're gonna watch some "gui-tos."

- ALL: Aah! [laughter]

- I love the confessional because we can really just say

what's really on our mind.

- [bleep] millennials. - [bleep] millennials.

- [bleep] millennials.

- I swear to god, I'll [bleep] beat an Uber driver to death

if I [bleep]--

We do not stereotype Italians.

Italians are good people. And they don't behave like that.

Now get the [bleep] outta here!

Get the [bleep] outta here!

- [unintelligible].

- Spiraling, just like we're going to be tonight.

- So spiraling is really just, like,

getting drunk and continuing the party.

You just drink and drink and have a good time.

Now.

Like, send me home in a body bag.

Hot mess, hard to look at. But fun to watch.

What's happening? Fine.

- ALL: [cheering]

- DEENA: Here's years of spiraling.

- Hey! - We are--

- The degenerates are here!

- --spiraling.

- NICOLE: Tequila Sunrise.

- Nicole is the founder, I'm the co-founder

of the Spiral Squad. We've been spiraling for years.

You alright?

- [talks incoherently]

[laughs] - Holy [bleep].

- NICOLE: One, two, three, go.

Oh!

- RONNIE: In Miami, I think me and Nicole really took that term

into, like, a new meaning for us.

You know, and Nicole was a mom of two at this point.

I had a baby on the way.

And me and Nicole missed each other.

So it was like-- it was literally a recipe

for the Spiral Squad.

- Whoa! - Whoa, here we go.

- [laughs]

- Um, hey, guys.

- I'm bombed.

- VINNY: Have you slept yet? - No.

- You're out of control. - You guys smell.

- You could feel the heat when they walked in of the drunkness.

- I've never felt a smell before.

- [thud]

- NICOLE: Initiation Day.

I wanted to initiate Angelina

just because I knew she was a good time.

I know she always goes out.

And the fact that she's trying to be a part of our family,

we had to initiate her with spiraling.

And she wanted to be a meatball.

- DEENA: Angelina gets very frisky when she's drunk.

- Stop! - Come on!

- So does Nicole.

- These are real. Feel them!

That's right, my boobs are real! My boobs are real!

- [shouting]

- Oh my god!

- I felt left out. I was like, cool!

- [screams]

- Get me out of here!

Get me out of this car!

- ♪

- PAULY D: [fake Italian accent] Very Saucy Meatballs.

The meatballs in Italy were a whole other beast, bro.

There's something in the alcohol out there.

- They drank every day.

They didn't even sleep, I don't think.

- [indistinct chatter]

- PAULY D: Oh yeah! [bleep]! Oh!

- Underwear just fell off.

- I never danced my underwear off in my life!

She goes hard. I give her credit.

- This is probably my worst spiral ever in my life.

- PAULY D: Wow, Deena is wasted.

- Yeah, look at her, her [bleep] out, everything.

- NICOLE: Me and Deena spiraling that day,

we just had so much fun. We were just being idiots.

We didn't care what we looked like.

Like, we were just being complete fools.

But, like, the best girl time ever.

- Oh my god. Oh my god.

- Like wrecking meatballs, all of Italy.

- PAULY D: By leaving their sauce everywhere.

- ♪

- She has no underwear on.

- Oh my god, calm down.

- NICOLE: Back then, I always wore underwear.

But Deener, you know, she forgot that night.

It's okay.

- I'm sorry I saw your [bleep] vag*na reflecting on the window.

- MIKE: I don't think there's anybody left

in the city of Florence that hasn't seen Deena's kooka.

- VINNY: Deena got out all of her ratchetness in Italy before

settling down and becoming the mom she is today.

- She wanted to leave it in a different country.

- I saw your vag*na!

- Go on. Move on.

[laughs] Next!

I love cheese and bread!

Ugh!

Deena's Day Out.

You know why I was in the street?

When we film, we're not allowed

to listen to music in the restaurants.

And I was listening to music in the cars.

- There's cars on this street. - It doesn't matter with cars.

- This is not the boardwalk!

- Yes, I am. No, no! - Yes, come here, come here.

Come on! - I'm in trouble?

- This is why she was called the Blast in the Glass.

- DEENA: [slurring] I don't wanna be in trouble.

[cries] - Back up! Back up!

- Whatever. It happens.

If that's what I get arrested for in my life,

then I'm fine with it.

- [siren wails] - DEENA: [crying] No!

- Finding that one of your roommates has been arrested

is sort of a...

casual, common experience at the Jersey Shore.

- [screams]

- MIKE: Party of One.

- Nicole is just an animal when it comes to partying.

She doesn't even need anyone to party with.

She can do it by herself.

- Aah!

- Ooh, with the old men.

- [screams]

After taking shots with the old couple,

everything kind of just went blank.

- Where is she going?

- NICOLE: I just wanna go on the beach.

Where's the beach?!

- It's right there. Where else would it be?

- NICOLE: Oh my god, I wanna go on the beach so bad.

I wanted to say "How do you get on the beach?"

But my drunk a*s didn't know how to say that.

So I said, "Where's the beach?" I knew it was right there.

But, you know, my drunk a*s is stupid.

Where's the beach?!

- She should've finished the sentence.

- She was looking for the beach.

- Nicole!

Let's go.

- When she's that [bleep] up, she legit is [bleep] up.

- We're getting our bathing suits.

We're getting our bath--

- [laughter]

- Come on, Nicole. Really?

- ANGELINA: Oh, calm down, Deena.

Who do you think you are?

If you were drunk, you'd be with her.

- Ew, get the [bleep] off my arm before I--

- You're talking to a police officer like that.

- Get the [bleep] off! Get off!

- [handcuffs clicking]

- I'm a [bleep] good person.

- Did the cops really believe Nicole when she said...

"I'm a good person"?

- Watch your head. Watch your head.

Watch your head.

- [siren wails]

- NICOLE: It was in all fun.

They didn't have to arrest me. That was dramatic.

- When we come back.

- Yo!

- JENNI: Ten years of robberies.

- I gotta take my girl out of the room right now.

- Vinny, stop! Vinny!

- [bleep]. - My niece has gotta go.

- [screams]

- ♪

- And down goes the meatballs!

- [screams and laughs]

- Nicole, really?

- [screams]

- Like, you're not supposed to hit the floor.

- Gravity was not their friend.

- [crash]

- ♪

- Meatball down.

- Ugh! - Nicole...

- Down!

- [laughs]

- Ronnie!

- Oh, the meatballs.

- [laughs]

- Oh my god! Are you okay?

- I was running away from a bee right there, in my defense.

- Is it good? Come here.

- Where's The Sitch at? - I'm ready for this one.

- The Jersey Shore can be a dangerous place.

- Alright, come on.

If you're not paying attention, you may get robbed.

A robbery is when you just swoop in your buddy's girl

and commit robbery.

- [knocks]

- VINNY: Who is it? - It's The Situation.

It's a jungle out there, alright?

And be prepared.

The Situation needs to situate himself.

- NICOLE: Ten years of robberies in "Jersey Shore" history.

- I invented the world "robbery" too, by the way,

just so people know that. [bleep]!

- VINNY: The Sweetheart.

This was the start of six years of hell.

- You know, I was vibing with Sam the first couple of days.

Then I figured that I was gonna make a move on her.

- ♪ I'll be your everything, all that you need ♪

- [chuckles] Oh, man.

Tonight's gonna be a good night.

The Situation just never fails.

"The Situation never fails."

Well, The Situation had a lot of confidence.

But, um...

he didn't have much defense back then.

- [indistinct chatter]

- I did not see Ron as a threat. And at the end of the day,

when you do not have your defenses up,

that's when you lose.

- ♪ Although I follow the beat of my heart ♪

- Mike's like, what...

- I saw you with Ronnie.

How you gonna do somebody in the house right

in front of me like that? Huh?

If Ron had not done the robbery on me,

it would have altered the trajectory of history.

- What's your name?

- Gina. - Gina?

- I'm Sicilian.

- PAULY D: The Sicilian.

- I think we're getting out of here soon.

Do you wanna come? - Where? To the house?

Yeah. - Really?

- So tonight, I got my girl Gina coming home.

- JENNI: Who are you? - I come here to get my niece.

- Jionni's uncle.

- What the [bleep]? - That's my niece right there.

- "Where's my niece?"

- [chuckles]

- This is my sister's beautiful daughter

and I need to pick her up. - Alright. [laughs]

- She has to leave? - I guess so. [laughs]

- What the hell?

- So, Joe--this is Jionni's godfather.

And it's just so funny because when this--

when Jionni and Joe came to the house, I was, like, inside.

I don't know if I was, like, hooking up with a guy

or I was wasted, sleeping.

Ahhh....

But I didn't meet Jionni that night.

So it's just weird how, like, everything happens.

Do you wanna drink more or do you wanna play?

- PAULY D: Robbery Retaliation.

- Jionni!

- You gotta up there like we're his uncle.

- PAULY D: Yeah.

- I'll kick your [bleep] door open.

- You gotta do it.

He tried to clown me with his uncle.

So guess what, bro? You're in my house.

We're gonna clown you. Yo!

I gotta take my girl out of the room right now.

You know what I mean?

- We didn't know he was gonna be sticking around

for her entire life.

- We came in here and flexed on him.

I love that [bleep]. - Yeah.

- Vinny, stop!

- My niece-- - [screams]

- [bleep].

- VINNY: My niece gotta go.

Where's my Snooki?

- MIKE: The Twins.

You know, we'll figure everything out, okay?

I was trying to pull a threesome in Italy.

When we get home, we'll figure everything out, okay?

And I thought I almost had it.

Um...but out of nowhere, again, my defenses were not up.

- ♪

- RONNIE: Hey, guys?

Deena's making out with the twin right now.

- MIKE: What the hell?

- Deena made out with everything in [bleep] Italy.

- PAULY D: Deena pulled a robbery hardcore.

- Even though, like, this is embarrassing,

I frickin' pulled a robbery on The Situation, b*tches.

Just saying.

- You're with me and that's it.

- Deena's being lesbi-onic tonight.

- Where's my chain?

The Chain.

I'm trying to think. I don't remember.

My chain means the world to me.

I don't remember where I put it. - She stole it.

- PAULY D: That grimy moment right there?

I didn't see that.

And in my mind, I take the good in everybody.

So I'm looking all around the house.

I'm like, "Maybe I lost it." No, this girl stole it.

What the hell goes on in this house?

Then comes back the next day with it 'cause she realized

it was a felony. [laughs]

- Yeah, yeah, exactly.

- What's up, babe? - Hey. How are you?

- Good, how are you? - What the hell?!

This girl should've got arrested.

How can you rob somebody in a house full of cameras?

- I went out and bought a safe the next day.

Whenever a girl leaves the house,

I'm going to hug her and then pat her down

at the same exact time.

- VINNY: Coming up,

ten years of family dinners.

I won't do it. I won't do it.

Don't do it.

Yeah, I won't do it! Just said I won't do it!

[slowed down] I said I won't do it.

[yells]

- Ooh, it smells like lobsters. Are they alive?

- Should we have a glass of wine while we cook?

- Oh my god, yes.

- MIKE: Sunday dinners are probably one of the most

important, uh, days of the week.

You get to sit down with your family, break bread,

have conversation, and enjoy the moment.

- To Italians, the dinner table is just symbolic.

You're not even going there to eat.

You're going there to bond with your family.

- You're lying, you're lying, you're lying!

Whether we -- liked each other or not.

- [screaming]

- Run! Run!

[slowed down] Run...

- BOTH: Run...

- Fire!

- [screaming]

- BOTH: Oh!

- I'm peeing! I'm peeing!

- At family dinner, we are ,% unfiltered.

- [arguing]

- Enough.

- You got nothing, bro!

End of -- story, bottom line!

- What the [bleep]?

Shut up! Shut up!

- Stop talking to me!

- I'll be honest with you. I think it's time for desserts.

- ALL: [laughter]

- Ah, the duck phone!

- A long time ago--

- In an ancient world--

- Known as --

- We used to contact people on this weird contraption called--

- A duck phone. - A duck phone.

- A duck phone.

- Hello?

The duck phone is the worst.

- I'm not sure what it is about that phone.

- Because I could never work it.

Hi, it's me. - [dial tone]

- But there's always something interesting waiting for us

on the other end.

- MAN: Hi! - Go [bleep] yourself!

- NICOLE: Ten years of duck phone calls.

- Quack, quack, who this, b*tch?

Snooki Discovers the Duck Phone.

- [phone quacking]

- Why the [bleep] is that thing quacking?

That's really weird.

- [phone quacking]

- I feel like we can't have a "Shore" house

without the duck phone. Even if we don't use it,

the duck phone has to be in presence.

- MAN: Hi, I'm sorry-- - Daddy?

- MAN: Yeah. - [call waiting beep]

- Hold on. Hi.

- MAN: Who the [bleep] is this? - It's Nicole!

- That duck phone was the worst. It would get sick all the time.

It had, like, the worst quack. It started off quacking alright.

Then it was like quack, quack, qua-a-a-ack.

- [phone quacking]

- [gasps] Hello? - TOM: Hi.

- Alright, who are you looking for again?

- TOM: Jenni. - Who is this?

- TOM: Her boyfriend.

- Just keep [bleep] hanging up on him, Nicole.

- Can you hold on still? - TOM: Yeah, yeah.

Are you gonna hang up again? - No, I'm not gonna hang up.

- TOM: Yep, no problem. - Alright.

Where is everyone?

- [dial tone]

- [phone quacking]

- Don't answer that phone call. He's annoying.

- PAULY D: Pauly Is a Voicemail.

Thank you for calling the "Jersey Shore" Store.

We are unable to come to the phone at this time.

But if you leave your name, number,

and a brief message after the tone,

we'll get back to you as soon as we can.

Thank you.

- This [bleep] had me dying. - [chuckles]

It's just the duck phone wouldn't work a lot.

So I wanted to make sure we had a voicemail.

- CHUCK: Hey, Nicole, it's Chuck.

Look, I don't know why you're getting all pissed at me.

We were fine all day.

- That fool really left a message.

- CHUCK: I'm really sorry. I apologize, alright?

- For Snooki, press one. For Jenni, press two.

- [beep] - Thank you. Goodbye.

That was dope, yo! [laughs]

- JENNI: Hello? - TOM: Hey.

- NICOLE: Jenni Breaks Up with Tom.

Roger that!

- TOM: How come you didn't call me?

Is there something wrong with you?

- JENNI: No.

- TOM: You see anybody you know down there?

- Yeah. - TOM: Who?

- My friend Roger.

- Yo, Roger that. Ro-Ro-Roger that.

- Mm-hmm, ah...

Even the day that I was leaving wasn't even good.

- TOM: Yeah, but, you know what? - Yeah but nothing.

Because I did nothing [bleep] wrong!

Ooh, there it is.

And you still treated me like [bleep]!

- TOM: No, you treat me like [bleep]!

- Done.

That was intense. I mean, it can be

very dramatic having everybody

[bleep] watch you break up with someone

on the [bleep] duck phone.

- Yo, you wanna take a call?

- Who is it? - Danielle.

- VINNY: Pauly Tells Off His Stalker.

- PAULY D: I just met the girl.

And, um, she already stalked my whole life.

What's up?

I told this girl that I would call her when I got home.

- She's a stalker, bro. - She called the phone times.

- DANIELLE: I feel stupid. - Okay.

- DANIELLE: I kissed you in the club.

I kissed you here, I kiss on the boardwalk.

Then you go with three other girls.

Then I am walking by and I see you with, like, three girls.

- Is it my turn to talk yet?

- "Is it my turn to talk yet?" - I let her talk.

- DANIELLE: Is that you? 'Cause I heard somebody else.

- PAULY D: Is it my turn yet? - DANIELLE: Wait!

- Bro, this was a real problem for me.

Do you understand?

I couldn't understand what this girl was doing.

You stalked my whole life on the boardwalk.

It's my turn to talk. It's my turn to talk.

I went on one ride.

God bless me, it's [bleep] summer.

- "God bless me, it's [bleep] summer."

I love that--that line.

- You were so worried at how you're gonna look because people

see me walking with three girls that, "Oh my god, well,

I don't wanna look stupid."

Well, now look how stupid you look.

- DANIELLE: --tell you about me on this--

- [laughs]

- PAULY D: The Explanation Chain.

- I'm gonna leave for this one.

- No, you stay right there, my boy.

You cheated.

- WOMAN: Hello? - VINNY: I miss you.

[laughing] Yo, this is--can you stop?

- Wait, I'll stop. Hold up.

- I remember that.

That's when Vinny had a girlfriend for two weeks.

- WOMAN: Holding a stripper.

You don't see that as a problem? - VINNY: No.

- This registers very high with me,

'cause this is a real moment right here.

You was explaining that you cheated.

- This is what happens when you're in a relationship.

The explanation face.

- Right there, my friend, is an explanation face

that I had to capture for this chain piece.

I'm making myself a new chain.

It's called the explanation chain.

I'm planning on wearing this [bleep] to the club,

you know what I'm saying? - [bleep]

- [laughs] Look at that chain, bro.

- WOMAN: I want you to see my perspective.

- I say, you got the new [bleep].

- Hello.

- BOTH: [chuckling]

- Ten years of WTF. That really happened?

- I feel like that's a head.

- [unintelligible]

- [screams] What-- - What the -- is that?!

- The [bleep]?!

- Over the last years of "Jersey Shore"--

- What you can expect--

- Is the unexpected.

- She stuck her a*s on the funfetti cake!

No!

- [knocks] - PAULY D: Angelina Returns.

- Is that a knock?

- VINNY: We never thought that Angelina would return.

- And, like, stay.

- At that time, dude, we hadn't spoken to her

in, like, six, seven years. - And that was a prank.

- Oh, yeah, you think I'm a dirty little hamster?

Look at his face.

Being able to have him open that door, I'm like, yes.

This is what you get, Mike.

- Oh, [bleep]!

Yo, who sent you here?

- [laughter]

- Didn't really made up with her.

So for her to return to the "Jersey Shore" down in Miami

was, uh, a very good prank.

- Do you still think I'm a dirty little hamster?

- I didn't even know you were alive.

- ALL: Whoa!

- -- you!

- Pauly pulled the ultimate prank,

and it's been a [bleep] prank ever since.

- Alright, I [bleep] my pants.

- I thought she was joking around.

- Open the door, I'm gonna throw up.

- [screams]

- Angelina really knows how to make the situation [bleep].

- You guys, you wanna see my [bleep] pants right now?

- No!

On Angelina's license, where it says "Class," it says "None."

- It's like everyone in that room just got pink eye.

- Where or what the [bleep] world am I living in right now?

- I should've got a Charmin's deal. Just saying.

- RONNIE: Snooki Takes Aim.

- I called the Unit to call Jionni and tell him everything

that [bleep] happened with you and Mike.

- NICOLE: Being in Italy, and then Mike trying to start

[bleep] with me when I thought we were cool, I was so annoyed.

Stop getting in my business you [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]!

So throwing the bottle, it was, like,

the first thing that I could get my hands on.

[bleep] you! [bleep] you!

- I had cat-like reflexes in my s.

- [bleep] stop! Stop!

I'm not even kidding, Mike!

- Mike officially was the villain in Italy.

- [bleep] you! [bleep] you, Mike!

Mike, I'm not kidding! - [glass shattering]

- Oh, Nicole!

- I've been in some dangerous moments.

But right here?

It went from, like, really funny to, like, holy [bleep].

Like--like, she could've [bleep] k*lled Mike.

- Yo, next time we see you, you're gonna be naked.

- Yeah.

- PAULY D: Bye, stripper! So cool!

- ♪

- AUDIENCE: [cheering]

- Vinny is a stripper.

I feel like we literally pulled him

from his mother's womb in season five,

when we had to go remove him from his anxiety trip.

And now he's [bleep] at Chippendales, stripping.

Proud of you.

- AUDIENCE: [cheering]

- Oh my god!

At one point, you were, like, a little bit shy.

You had some, like, anxiety.

So, like, at what point did you actually decide to become

a stripper, the exact opposite?

- VINNY: That's the problem, you know?

This whole time, I wasn't naked.

You know, I just felt that, like,

this is gonna solve all my problems,

just getting naked in front of hundreds of women.

- Nicely done.

- JENNI: The Girl in the Bag.

- Is that Angelina?! - JENNI: That is so scary.

- Girl in a bag was good prank.

- [screams] - What--what the -- is that?

Ronnie, come take a look at this, buddy!

- It was kind of scary.

Like, I had a body bag with an object in it

that looked like a body.

- [screams] What is that?

- Oh, hey, Sam. Listen, listen, listen--

- DOLL: If you're not a guido,

then you can get the -- out of my face.

- ALL: Oh!

- How much did he pay to check that doll on the plane?

- Listen-- - Ron, stop! Stop!

- I do think about the Sammi doll often.

And I wonder where she is,

'cause that thing is [bleep] scary.

- Ugh!

- Oh!

- Sammi!

- SAMMI DOLL: [distorted recording]

- Oh my god!

- Hello!

- Aah!

- [screams]

- Oh my god, what is that smell?

- Hi, Vinny.

- The last ten years have been a frickin' rollercoaster for me.

But, I mean, where would I be without my roomies, honestly?

- Let's do a little toast right here.

- Seaside!

- ALL: [cheering]

- I think the one thing that has made the last ten years

so special is the bond that we have all formed with each other.

And I think it's because we've experienced so much together.

- Will you please marry me?

- VINNY: Oh my god, dude. He's doing it.

That season in Miami was our first time back together.

And Mike's engagement was, like,

the perfect button to it, you know?

We didn't know if he was gonna go to prison or not.

Like, we just wanted to do this for Mike.

- PAULY D: Congratulations, guys!

She said yes!

- I love you. - I love you.

We're still out here together, doing it like a real family,

going through these real-life moments.

- I'm pregnant.

- NICOLE: Are you really? Meatball!

- Through thick, thin, divorces--

Like, he left. - I know.

- JENNI: Marriages, babies, we're still going strong.

- Cheers to family. - The real family.

- But the fact that we always make time for each other

to have these moments, I mean, we're blessed.

- You may kiss or hug your brother.

The option is yours. Take it home, son.

- I love you, chooch!

- GROUP: [cheers and applause]

- You can give me a [bleep] genie with three wishes,

and I couldn't even [bleep] wish this stuff.

- S-- - V--

- P-- - ALL: [Wedding Squad!

- I think we're only getting better.

Our best years are still to come.

You know-- - Absolutely.

- Some people are still going through things

and they gotta figure that out. - Yeah.

- Some people haven't gone through things yet.

- Yep, some people still have to hash things out.

- You gotta get married. - Yeah, so do you.

- NICOLE: I definitely would love to be in this house

years from now. I mean, I can do this forever,

like, every summer until I'm, like, years old.

- Our lives will never be the same again

'cause of this -- thing.

- JENNI: My life is perfect now because of being here.

- ♪

- [cries]

- Seaside! Seaside!

- LADIES: Bye! - Love you!

- I want this thing forever, this right here.

- Yeah.

- This was a life-changing experience,

whether you like it or not.

- Maybe we should get a "Shore" house next summer.

- ALL: [cheering]

- Let's do it! Do it next summer!

- Don't do it! Don't do it!

- ♪ We must go

♪ Living tonight

- Um, I don't know what the next ten years will bring.

I don't know what's [bleep] happen when I get out of here,

bro! [laughs]

Wrong question, wrong person.

- [laughs] [bleep] you!

[laughs]

- ♪