04x06 - Jurassic Angelina

[bunniefuu]

- Reality is gonna hit us in the face tomorrow

when Angelina arrives.

- We invited Angeliners here

and Deena on the double booking.

- Yeah, you gotta tell Deena that you invited Angelina.

- Aw, bro, I can't do that.

- [chuckles] Mike has something to tell you.

[dramatic musical sting]

- Um, Angeliners may be showing up very soon.

- Are you guys kidding?

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Get crazy, get wild ♪

♪ Let's party, get loud ♪ - Yeah, buddy!

- The Situation is under construction.

- This might not have been the best idea.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

- ♪ If you wanna have fun, then do something crazy ♪

[exciting music]

- Am I gonna be all right? - Yes, you're gonna be fine.

- Love you. - I love you.

I'ma miss you. - I'll miss you too, babe.

♪ ♪

- This has been such a great trip, hasn't it, guys?

- It has.

- So Deena,

how are you?

- You look so happy today.

- She's, like, glowing, right? - Yeah, I know.

- Angeliners is on her way, and I feel like

it's almost like a hurricane about to come ashore.

Right now is Judgment Day.

We're at lunch, and it's time to break it to Deena.

I don't know how she's gonna take it,

but obviously, we have to let her know

that the double booking has happened.

- [chuckles] Mike has something to tell you.

- Since we are so close and brothers and sisters here,

um, and wife, and-- Threesome!

[laughter]

- Mike has something to tell you.

- We, uh, I just feel that honesty is the best policy.

And, um--

- Mike has something to tell you.

- Quite possibly, Angeliners...

may be showing up very soon.

- Wait, Angelina's coming? - Angelina's gonna be here.

- Are you guys kidding? - I ain't playing that.

- [stammers] No, not really.

- My heart's beating really fast.

[chuckles] The whole day was so nice.

And now, the boys drop this b*mb on me.

This wasn't even supposed to be a [bleep] thing,

and here I am, like, blindsided.

You told me yesterday she wasn't coming.

- Yeah, what's up with that?

- A couple months ago when we talked about,

like, the Angelina stuff, like,

I knew I was pregnant,

and, like, that's one of the big reasons

why I don't want to sit down with her.

I don't wanna stress myself out.

- No, we wouldn't even bring her here.

♪ ♪

Actually--

I actually wanted to get to today about that.

And now that we're here, I wanted to be honest.

We kind of double booked it. - I just--

- By accident, he means on purpose.

- Especially being pregnant, I just can't put myself

in the position where I'm gonna see this girl.

- Told you. - [cackles]

- Like, it's just not something I wanna do.

- I told you. - [laughs]

- Okay. - Told you.

- Um...

- I just wish you guys would respect, like,

how I'm feeling about it. - Told you.

- This thing hasn't been solved in about a year.

- I get, like, you guys want us to get together,

and talk, and all this [bleep], but I'm not doing it here.

- And--I didn't say that you were.

- Especially here.

Especially when I'm super early pregnant.

Like, this is, like, not something

that I'm ready to do.

- Told you.

[solemn music]

♪ ♪

Oh, no.

This was the worst case scenario.

I did not wanna see a pregnant woman cry.

- Deener, don't cry. - Don't cry, don't cry.

It's gonna be okay. - Cry, cry.

- It's gonna be okay. Mike, Mike.

The video, the video. - All right, all right.

- What video? - Just do it now.

- We--I'm gonna do it now. I was gonna wait.

- We had a little--

because of this little audible about you getting pregnant,

we had to shift and think on the fly

so that you would be happy.

- We have a bit of a surprisefor you.

We don't want you to be upset. - It better be a good one.

- Yeah, what now? - Okay.

- I'm actually getting tingles about to show you this.

- Oh, just show it to her. What is it?

- Look.

- Chris and CJ are on their way.

- Hey! - Wait, what?

[cheers and applause]

Really?

all: ♪ Chris and CJ are on their way ♪

♪ Chris and CJ on the way ♪

♪ Chris and CJ ♪

♪ On the way ♪

♪ Chris and CJ on the way ♪

- No, you guys--

all: ♪ Chris and CJ on the way ♪

- Angelina too. - Oh, my God.

- And your mom's coming.

- Really? all: Yes.

- Last minute surprise for you.

- Will that make you feel a little better?

- Yeah.

These family vacations are already

a roller coaster of emotions,

and add on me being pregnant,

and the hormones, and everything,

it's just--it could be a lot.

At least they're bringing my family to me

through this whole thing because

I would not be able to do it without them.

- You're not mad at us, right, De?

- No, you made it up. You made it up.

- Okay, okay, okay.

- I've been missing themso much.

- I know. I knew you would love this.

- I just hope the boys just let

the entire trying to sit down thing go

so we can still have a good time together

because I'm not sitting down with her.

Can you just, guys, do me one favor

and not tell her that I'm pregnant?

- Okay. - I only want my close friends

and family knowing right now.

- Yeah.

- To be honest with you, I don't know how long

we're gonna be able to keep Deener and Angeliner apart.

I mean, we're in this really big hotel,

but they're bound to cross paths.

Well, good. We got that out the way.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

I feel like I have so much stress just left,

like, off my shoulders just now.

It was, like-- it felt like a plane crash.

- You know what that means?

You need, like, a chicken finger.

- No, it's gonna take me about two or three weeks

to get over the bad diet that I had here.

- I think you look great.

I think you're so hard on yourself.

- Speak for yourself.

- Listen, Twiggy. Relax.

- Oh, my God!Twiggy.

- Twiggy. [laughter]

- That's his new nickname.Twiggy.

Yo, that's gonna stick, dude.

- And if it doesn't stick, I'll make sure it sticks.

- If you guys wouldn't mind not repeating that,

I would appreciate it.

It's a stupid name. It's not gonna stick.

No one's gonna call me that, so, like,

it was a nice try, De, but I'm not--

you know, I'm not Twiggy.

All right, let's go upstairs. - You guys ready?

- Yeah. - Let's go.

- Come on, Twiggy. [laughter]

- Yay, I made up a name for Vinny.

- Follow Twiggy, come on. [laughter]

- I'm gonna pee my pants.

- Yo, look at Twiggy with his backpack.

[laughter]

- I should've went to the bathroom before we left.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, babe.

- Hey, we're almost there.

- Yay! [cheers]

All right, we're gonna come down and meet you.

- All right, we'll see you in a little bit.

- All right, love you. Bye.

You ready? - Yeah.

- Yeah, let's go. [bleep] it.

- Thank you, guys, for inviting them.

- Oh, of course. - [gasps]

Hey, C! - Thank God.

This whole plan rides on Chris' shoulders.

And we don't have a backup to this backup plan.

- Hey! - Hi. How are you?

- Give Mommy a kiss.

- What's up? - Hey.

- Look at that little guy! - Hi!

- What's up, buddy?

I'm your uncle. - What up, man?

- What up, my dude? Congratulations.

- Thank you.

- I'm just happy my family's here.

And they just bring such light to my life,

and that's all that matters to me.

I'm gonna show you around the hotel.

- Yeah, leave your stuff here. I'll have it all sent up.

- You guys are the best. Thank you.

Have a good night. - Good to see you.

- It's a little creepy, but you'll get used to it.

- Well, that worked out.

- So this is the garden. - Oh, it's beautiful.

Wow. - This place is crazy.

- Wee! - Crazy, yay!

You're with Mama!

- I would call that "Part One--Down."

- That was a success. - All around.

- No plan is turning into a plan.

- That went sort of well, but we already know Angelina--

- She's gonna come in really hot.

- She's hot. She's hot.

Like an ice cream cone with a cherry on top.

Angelina is a human wrecking ball.

Everything she does is loud,

and abrasive, and obnoxious.

- Oh, yeah, you think I'm a dirty, little hamster?

- Oh, [bleep].

- Here's your-- - You're disgusting!

You idiot. - She's already starting!

Did you just slap me in the face?

That's as*ault! I just got assaulted!

And I expect nothing less right now.

- I don't think I could handle Angeliner coming in hot.

- That's fair. - Well...

- I mean...

- You know when somebody's pushing you, you try

to push against them, and then you guys'll be fighting?

'Cause she's gonna come in hot,

just push with her.

So keep her hot, okay?

Let's keep her riled up so we gas her out.

- Almost like a child. - Yeah, like a child.

Exactly like a child.

- Like I do with my daughter before bed,

I play with her, and I get her going,

and she gets all this energy, and then, she's ready for bed.

So we're hoping that works on Angelina,

but you never know.

- Why don't we, like, gas her up

and tell her the girls are here?

'Cause technically, the girls are here.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- At dinner, we're gonna be like,

"Yo, you know what? The girls are up there.

"They said they don't wanna talk to you,

so they might be silent."

- After a few dirty martinis,

she's gonna really think they're the real girls.

- I can't even tell the difference anymore.

- Can you just, guys, do me one favor

and not tell her that I'm pregnant?

- It's a good thing having these dolls here.

Angelina can take out all her pent up aggression

on these dolls as a fill-in of the girls.

- When you say you're [bleep] done, be done.

- I'm gonna sit this out.

I want nothing to do

with this horrible plan.

- At least there's one smart one here.

[laughter] - So good night.

And good luck with your messy, messy--

messy plan!

- We'll let you know how we make out.

- All right.

- We gotta clean these dolls up.

- All right. Let's go.

[hip-hop music]

- ♪ w*r, w*r, w*r, w*r ♪

♪ This ain't a game, this ain't a game ♪

♪ This ain't a game, this is ♪

♪ ♪

- Hi, babe. - How are you doing?

- I'm, like--I'm about to be pulling up

in, like, a few minutes.

I'm, like, freaking out here.

Who the hell knows what the hell's gonna happen?

Like, I don't even know who's gonna be there

So I'm excited to see the boys,

but I'm very, like, you know, nervous.

Like, what the [bleep] if all the girls are ambushing me?

What happens? Like, what do I do?

- If that's the case, then I would just walk out of there.

- [scoffs]

I'm hoping that they're just gonna do the right thing

by me right now.

[dramatic musical sting]

[ambient music]

- Oh, my God, I grabbed another titty.

- Wait, do we need to bring Angelina?

- Don't grab 'em by the vag*na.

- Damn, she's-- - Oh, [bleep].

both: Oh. - I'm gonna grab her head.

- Oh, [bleep]. Nicole had a rough night.

- Her kooka's out and her head fell off.

That looks about right. - Come on, Jenni.

I know we're facing challenges, but...

- [grunts] - Where's her head?

- Her head? - Yeah.

- It's in there.

- Oh, [bleep] it.

- All right, girls.

It's been eight months since you've seen Angelina,

so here's your chance to now hash it all out.

We're bringing her to you. - Any last words?

- Don't blink if you don't mind that she's coming.

- Say something if you don't want her to come.

[music fades]

- Let's go. - Let's do this, fellas.

- Divide and conquer.

- Oh, it's Ang. Oh, her car's probably here.

- Um, hello?

- Hey. What's up, Ang?

- Hi, Ron. - What's going on?

- Are you guys ready for me? I'm close.

- All right, well, I guess I'll see you

in a couple minutes then.

- Bye.

- R-- - S--

- V-- - P.

all: BROVID. - Looking like...

- We can finally put this to bed.

- I don't even think I should express it at this point.

- You just said you wanted to express it!

- Get the [bleep] out of here.

- So this big plan we had to rile up Angelina

is kind of backfiring.

- I'm walking up in this b*tch

like I'm going to [bleep] w*r.

- She keeps going... - [bleep] you.

- Oh, my God. And going...

- Stop! - And going.

- I unfollowed your a*s.

When I wrote it, I wasn't thinking about them.

But you're so cool. I swear I forgot to laugh.

I'm not [bleep] having this sit-down.

That's not cool. - I mean, she's tiring us out.

- Deena's pregnant, isn't she? - What?

- ♪ You wanna move something? Move something ♪

♪ Acting like you 'bout to do something ♪

♪ Move something, well, go ahead ♪

♪ Move something ♪

- Let's do this. Divide and conquer.

You guys handle the food. We'll go meet her.

- Yeah. - All right, fellas.

- All right, bro. - We doing the--

- RSVP? - Yup.

- BROVID. - BROVID.

All right, guys.

- R-- - R.

[laughter]

- I'm just saying, you gotta give him notice now.

He don't know that it's R. - "Can someone give my line?"

- R-- - S--

- V-- - P.

all: BROVID.

- He's like, "Uh, R."

- He's like, "Wait, what's my name?"

- I said R, and you guys looked up like, what the [bleep].

- I'm so happy you're here. - Me too.

- I was missing you too. - CJ was starting to miss you.

[tranquil music]

♪ ♪

- There is a huge sense of relief in our room

where I know I'm safe

and removed from all the drama.

Good luck with Angelina, guys.

You're gonna [bleep] need it.

I'm, like, whoosah-ing myself right now.

Whoosah, Angelina. Whoosah, Angelina.

Whoosah. [exhales]

- What the hell is whoosah? [music fades]

- Are you [bleep] kidding me?

What the [bleep]?

How do you not know what that is?

Whoosah, like-- [exhales]

[tense music]

Like-- - Whoosah?

- [bleep], who the [bleep] am I married to?

Are you kidding me?

- What the [bleep] is a whoosah?

- Oh, my God.

I'm getting advice from an imbecile.

It [bleep] means, like, meditation.

Like-- [exhales]

- ♪ Whoo, why you messin' with them clowns ♪

♪ Right, hey ♪

♪ This what getting money sound like ♪

♪ ♪

- We'll welcome her.

We'll also get her a little wild.

You know? - Mm-hmm.

- Vinny should sit here because he's gonna bust her ba*ls.

- I'm gonna go at her

the second she walks in.

Angelina is like my pit bull at home.

[dog whines]

You know, I like to rile her up.

Whenever I come in the house and I see my dog,

I just like to go, "Come on, Tita.

What are you doing?" [growls]

And then, she, like, bites me a little bit.

So that's kind of what I do to Angelina.

"Come on, Angelina."

You know, like, "Jurassic Park" when the water shakes?

It's like-- [imitates thumping]

- Uh-huh. - That means Angelina's coming.

[suspenseful music]

- I think I see some movement out there.

Oh, I see a car.

- Uh-oh, I feel the ground shaking.

♪ ♪

- Let's go get her. - Hi.

- Angeliner! - Look at that new butt!

- Shut up, I knew that was the first thing you were gonna say,

you idiot. - Angelina, you're a doll.

- Hi, you have nice, like, facial hair.

- It smells like you out here. Like seaweed all of a sudden.

- Don't make me [bleep] start with you right now.

[sighs] Who's in here?

- [forced laughter] Come on in.

- Oh, you'll find out.

- You never know what's gonna happen with this crew.

Like, they're nuts. They're out of their minds,

and they usually prank me.

- This resort has a UFC fighting octagon.

- Yeah. - And why is that?

Because if they want me and Jenni to fight,

let me guess. [groans]

God, I can't believe I agreed to this [bleep].

- Babe, we have to catch up. - Do not "babe" me.

- So I have the permission to be old Situation?

- You do. - Babe, it's been so long

in quarantine, even you look good to me.

- Um, shut the [bleep] up. - Oh, my God.

- This is The Instigation.

- For the good of the family, yes.

- All right. - You [bleep].

[laughter]

Take your [bleep] and swing it over the [bleep] balcony.

- It's been five minutes, and she already hit him.

- Uh-oh, I hear them.

I hear the ruckus in the hallway.

- Honestly, I was missing you guys so much.

Then, they told me Angelina was coming.

- Yikes. - I don't know.

Maybe she'll come in, like, normal.

- Yo, you wish I'd [bleep]. You wish I would--

- Stop. - You [bleep].

- Angelina can't even make it downstairs

to the dinner before she starts getting into it with Vinny.

- See, Mommy's here. Look!

- Why do you have a man purse?

I'm gonna take this [bleep] thing.

- Go, walk down the stairs.

- Wow. - Wow, it's happening.

- He looks tired. - He's so sleepy.

- Vinny, get out of my face, you weirdo.

- I'm so excited that this plan

is actually coming into place.

There's some things that never change in this family,

and that's Angelina going at Vinny

and Vinny going at Angelina.

- There they are. - Oh, my God.

- Wow. - Look who we have.

- Hey, yo!

- ♪ The beat trash, so lights ♪

- All right, let's get you situated.

You ready? - That sounds good.

- Pauly set up, like, a whole dinner for us.

- All right. - Vinny, get out of my face.

- There they are. - Oh, my God.

- Wow. - Look who we have.

- Hey, yo!

- Our plan is to keep Angelina riled up

on purpose to gas her out,

like you kind of do to a child that's really hyper

so that she doesn't direct her negativity

towards Deena when they see each other.

- Angelina, it's good to see you.

I'm glad you came. - Thank you.

Thank you guys for inviting me. - Of course.

- I know all the drama with the wedding,

and I didn't know if you would come.

- God, I don't even wanna talk

about the wedding speech anymore.

I'm so over it. - Yeah, same.

- So what has been going down here?

- We had a cool, you know, two days by ourselves

with the boys, right? - Two days with the boys.

- Two days with the boys. - Nice, calm, quiet.

- I'm very relieved to just see the boys.

It makes me definitely feel better

about this whole entire thing

because I'm just trying to have a fun time here.

- [gasps] Ooh!

- Candlelit.

- Fancy.

So it is so nice

to have this one-on-one time with Chris right now.

We haven't had a date night

since before quarantine.

- It's really nice here.

[dramatic musical sting]

What? - [laughs]

Yeah, this is our waiter.

- What's up? - Our minion.

- [laughs] - Thank you.

- Is that serious? - Yeah.

Pauly's very nervous about COVID.

- That is hysterical.

- [laughs] I know.

- How are we supposed to have a romantic dinner

when that guy starts walking over?

- There's Esteban. - Oh, my God.

What the hell is that? - Hello.

- Hello, Esteban. - Nice bowtie, Esteban.

He's classing it up tonight. - This is our friend, Angelina.

She came all the way from Staten Island.

- Oh, Jesus.

- She's not too classy, so don't worry.

- Don't start. - Oh, yeah.

She already hit me. - Don't start.

It's gonna be a problem for you.

- I love this plan.

I get Angelina riled up just from her looking at me.

- Well, you seem to be in good spirits.

- Hey, listen, I'm still living my life.

- You look great. - Thank you.

- In the dark. - Vinny, shut the--

don't put a compliment with a [bleep] diss right now.

I don't know what it is with that kid,

but he's just...

[sighs] He's just so annoying.

- Where's Chris? - He couldn't come.

I "aksed," but he didn't come, so--

- It's "ask" with a S first-- - Shh, listen.

I don't really wanna take your grammar school right now.

Your [bleep] Grammar class.

You could take that [bleep] shove it up your [bleep]

because I don't give a [bleep].

- Why don't you shove it up your new a*s?

- No, listen, you could shove it up

your [bleep] nonexistent [bleep].

- I'm pretty sure my [bleep] exists.

[laughter]

- So I guess the boys double booked us--

me and Angelina?

And, like, I was just upset

'cause I felt like I was caught off-guard.

- Is that why I'm really here? - Yeah.

- That's good, though, that they had us on the way

'cause that could've been really bad.

- I know.

- Have you talked to any of them since?

- I texted all of them, if that's what you mean.

- I didn't know if they replied.

- Oh, they all replied.

[dramatic musical sting]

Like, it was just so petty

and just so stupid.

- So would you sit down with them now

and try to be, like, cordial about it?

- Yeah, but don't get involved, peanut gallery.

- I'm not asking you about me! Stop bringing me into this.

You're obsessed with me. Would you sit down--

- Bro, you [bleep] want me morning, afternoon, and night.

Don't go at me.

I know you have other chicks on the side,

but you're just trying to [bleep] add up to what I am.

But it's never gonna happen.

- I mean, Angeliners is going after Vinny...

- You're not even close to my worst girl.

- Oh.

- Vinny is going after Angeliners.

- Bro, are you [bleep] kidding me?

- Tonight's plan is working out just fine.

- You have some busted a*s b*tches.

Trust me. - Oh, my God.

This is amazing. Vinny is eating it up.

He loves it.

- I don't get laid all the time, but when I do--

- But you got quality in your house in Staten Island?

- No, I don't get laid at all in Staten Island.

- But why can't you get laid

in your freaking own stomping grounds?

- Because girls look like you. [laughter]

Or act like you. - Oh, my God!

That was-- - Bro.

Don't even come at me right now.

- You guys missed each other, huh?

- So they're doing dinner with her tonight.

I don't know how that's gonna go.

I'm sure she's gonna come in hot.

- I think you're right.

I think it's better off you just keep your distance.

Just do your own thing. Me and CJ are here, so--

- And I feel like it's always the same thing.

Like, you make up with the girl,

and then you fight with her.

You make up with her, and then you fight with her.

This is just not someone that I want in my life anymore.

I want just positive people in my life.

- I'll see you when you're [bleep] , Vinny.

- Damn! - Still single

and walking around Staten Island.

- You're gonna be single

and walking around Staten Island next week.

- [bleep] you. - Oh, my God.

- Stop!

- You wish I was [bleep] single

'cause then you'd swoop right in my DMs.

- Facts. - Just saying.

- I can't figure out if they fight like brother and sister,

or like husband and wife.

- It's a weird dynamic. - Yeah.

- I can't put my finger on it.

- And now that I think about it,

we are probably playing with fire

giving Angeliners drinks

and feeding into Angeliner's madness.

I don't know if she's going to change form,

what sorcery she has up her sleeves.

- Deena's pregnant, isn't she?

[dramatic musical sting]

- What? - What the hell?

How does Angelina know? - I didn't know that.

- Are you guys [bleep] with me? - Who told you that?

How do you know that?

- Ooh, I got a little bit of anxieties in there.

I have been through addiction, recovery, prison,

but one night with Angeliners is about to take me out.

- You stupid [bleep], if I wanted you,

I could [bleep] snap my fingers and you would [bleep]--

your [bleep] would've been right near here.

"Oh, Angelina." [imitates Vinny's moans]

[dramatic music]

- I'm not gonna have any drama while I'm here.

- I feel like Angelina, that's kind of her thing.

- She can fight with Vinny.[laughs]

I also told them, like, not to tell Angelina

that I'm pregnant 'cause, you know,

some people don't even know we're pregnant yet.

- The truth is not even all our family knows yet.

For her to know-- - Mm-hmm.

And I don't even talk to her.

I told them just to keep it between us six.

- Deena's pregnant, isn't she?

[dramatic musical sting]

- What? - How the [bleep]?

- I didn't know that.

What the [bleep] is going on?

- Has she been drinking alcohol?

- I don't know. - None of us have.

- I didn't really notice really.

- If Deena hears that Angelina thinks that she's pregnant,

she's gonna think the guys told her.

- Why didn't Deena tell us?

She's gonna be mad at us, so we're gonna play it off

like we don't even know.

- Seriously?

- We have to do everything to throw Angeliners off right now.

- Are you guys [bleep] with me? - Who told you that?

How do you know that? - I don't know.

I feel like she is.

- You just feel like she's pregnant?

- How do you feel like she is?

What are you? Her [bleep] uterus?

- No. - I don't understand.

Like, what are you talking about?

- What, did you go visit a psychic before you got here?

- [laughs]

- I mean, do I have to visit one?

There's one in my family.

- Deena?

Do you think she's pregnant right now, or--

- Angelina's psycho, and her grandmother's psychic.

[dramatic musical sting]

- I see ghosts.

- Is it true? - No, I don't know.

- Cheers to you being here.

Cheers to the growth of our family.

- Yeah, Buckner number two.

It happened pretty quick too.

My shots don't miss. - [laughs]

- We decided to start trying on, like, Tuesday,

and by, like, Saturday, you're like, "Hey, I'm pregnant."

- All right. Calm down.

We're just lucky.

- It kind of sucks that I'm not able

to go with you to the doctor's appointments.

- Oh, I hate that. This COVID stuff sucks so bad.

I'm hoping they let you come

to at least the -week appointment

when they do the "anonemy" exam.

- Anatomy? - Anatomy exam.

[dramatic musical sting] - You know what's unfortunate?

Like, that wedding was dope.

Like, the place-- everything was still dope.

That was that one little hiccup.

I wish we could overcome it. - I don't know.

It's just, like, too much now.

It's just annoying at this point.

You're allowed to feel how you feel,

but when are you gonna let it go, is what we're saying.

- I'm letting it go. You have to understand

I'm gonna let it go, but I have to express [bleep] before that.

- Well, express it. We're here.

- I thought you've been expressing [bleep]

for eight months now. - I mean, not really.

I mean-- - How about this?

If you're able to get it out of your system--

- I don't even think I should--

- And they don't say anything back.

- I don't even think I should express it at this point.

- You just said you wanted to express it!

- To you guys! To you guys!

Do you understand? To you guys.

I'm here. I'm sitting at a table.

- They don't want that.

- You would not budge and meet them--

- I was willing to, but they kept coming at me.

- But at eight months-- - Who cares?

That's not my problem.

They did what they did at my wedding, and that's it.

- But sometimes you have to be the bigger person--

- I'm always the bigger person

in every single scenario that we've had.

Get the [bleep] out of here.

- So this big plan we had to rile up Angelina

is kind of backfiring.

- This is where we've gotten-- nowhere.

- I have my right to have my feelings, and that's it.

- She keeps going, and going...

- I'm walking up in this b*tch like I'm going to [bleep] w*r.

- Going, and going.

- We had a conversation, so where did [bleep] turn?

- I mean, she's tiring us out.

- They were trying to be funny,

but they were not funny.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere,

she's like, "I never wanna see her again."

I don't follow you anymore, actually.

I unfollowed your a*s.

When I wrote it, I wasn't thinking about them.

But you're so cool. I swear, I forgot to laugh.

I'm not [bleep] having a sit-down.

I don't want to hear about it from them--I don't [bleep].

They come at me like, "You're wrong, you're wrong.

You [bleep] up." And that's not cool.

- Oh, God, this dinner is exhausting.

I don't know how long we can keep this up.

- Are you really eating all the cheese off that right now?

- He sure is. - You're wasting pizza.

The [bleep] are you doing? - Oh, God.

Where's Esteban?

[tranquil music]

♪ ♪

- Why don't you mind your [bleep] business?

- Why don't you [bleep] mind your business?

- Esteban, can I get another soda, Esteban?

- That's a waste of pizza.

- I'll eat all the cheese I want off the pizza.

- But didn't anybody ever tell you, bread has died for you.

[dramatic musical sting] You [bleep] waste it?

- "Bread has died for you." - Grass-fed bread.

- You're [bleep] wasting it. - "Bread has died for you."

- You're making me really upset.

Don't do that. That's a waste of pizza.

- [sighs]Oh, God.

Ooh, this girl right here cannot stop talking.

And it's stressing me out.

I'm getting, like-- I'm getting hot over here.

[bleep] to go outside for a breather.

- Let's go.

- Go outside for a breather?

I need a [bleep] breather, man.

She's exhausting. - Whatever.

- I'm starting to get really worried right now.

RSVP together was supposed to fix the situation.

And now, we're losing The Situation, and Vinny.

- Bro, what are we gonna do with this?

- I'm so [bleep] exhausted. - I'm exhausted from this.

She doesn't let up. - Bro, it's like a lashing.

It's like a lashing.

- [exhales]

[inhales, exhales]

[inhales deeply, exhales]

Ooh, I got a little bit of anxieties in there.

- For you to get worked up, that's big.

- I'm like, "Oh, God, this is a weird feeling.

I gotta go outside and cool off."

- I know.

- I have been through addiction, recovery,

prison, the court system,

but one night with Angeliners

is about to take me out.

[sighs] - Deep breaths.

[inhales deeply]

[exhales]

- I hope Esteban sees me out here

and brings me my diet soda.

- ♪ Call me crazy ♪

- What the [bleep] are you doing?

Are you an as*h*le? - I need to shut her off.

- But you're so cool. I swear I forgot to laugh.

I don't follow you anymore, actually.

- I need to go outside for a breather.

I actually feel so peaceful now that we've gotten outside.

Wow. - [chuckles]

I've never seen Mike get anxiety before.

- I know, man.

I've been through some tough [bleep], man.

I've been through addiction-- - Bro, I've never seen you--

you didn't have anxiety in front of me

when you were sentenced to prison...

- Yeah. - Going to jail, in jail...

- Yeah. - You were fine.

- But Angelina-- - But Angelina...

- Don't make me throw this martini at you.

Who had a part in this? It's never gonna happen.

Ron, was it you?

We had a conversation, so where did [bleep] turn?

No tiring me out.

- Angelina can break The Inspiration down.

That's crazy.

'Cause you're one of the most, like,

solid--mentally solid people I know.

- She's a lot to deal with. Stubborn, you know?

The plan was to exhaust Angeliners.

All right, we can't leave Pauly and Ronnie by themselves.

Come on.

And this plan has backfired because

all of the fellas, we are exhausted right now.

- It's so nice out.

- Did you have your little great getaway from me?

- Mm-hmm. - [bleep] you.

- Oh, my God, shut up-- - Shut the [bleep] up!

Obviously, I'm here to talk, you as*h*le.

- We need to pivot to the next phase

of our plan.

[dramatic musical sting]

- The boys are always up to something,

so when we first got to the suite,

I walk in, and I see, like, figures

at the dining room table.

And, like, the boys had all sex dolls.

Like, me, Angelina, and Nicole.

- You had your own doll? - I had my own doll.

And then, they put Jenni all wrapped up.

- In a wrap? - In, like, a wrap.

- Keeping it fun? - Yeah.

It's been a lot of fun.

I just hope it stays fun.

- I think it's time to confront this once and for all.

I think the dinner was good,

the conversation was exquisite.

[music fades]

But Angeliner...

You didn't come this far just to come this far.

The girls are upstairs, and they're all waiting for you

to have the sit-down of sit-downs.

- Huh? - It's been eight months.

And everyone refused to sit down with each other.

And finally, we were able to get all of you guys here

at one time, one place,

and we can finally put this to bed.

- Are you serious? I [bleep] knew it.

I don't wanna see the girls. I don't wanna see the girls.

I definitely don't wanna see the girls.

- We're here to put this to bed.

- Yeah, we gotta be done with this [bleep].

- It's gotta be here, though? - If not here, when?

It's been eight months.

- I don't wanna any ambush, though.

Please, I just don't.

- We did the same thing to them.

They had no idea that you were coming out here.

- So do they know I'm here? - Yeah.

- And what are they saying?

[tense music]

- You can stay, get your [bleep] beat.

You can stay and get your [bleep] a*s beat.

- We don't know what they're thinking.

They're just being so quiet. - Yeah, speechless.

- Honestly, I thought they would have a lot more to say.

- Who is up there? Jenni and Deena?

Or Nicole's here too? - They're all here.

- Yeah, they're all here. - They're all here.

- You have to go in there positive, and see what happens.

- I guarantee you they're not gonna say anything upstairs.

- I don't know. Jenni's...pretty upset.

- Oh, what else is new?

- She's pretty wrapped up right now.

- You said Jersey wh*re. I'm a wh*re?

- Ang, it's been eight months. [buzzer buzzes]

- months. [ding]

- Is it time to move forward?

People are dying in the streets.

Let's put this wedding [bleep] behind us.

[dramatic music]

- [bleep] me.

- All right. - Let's go.

She's nervous. - Well, she should be.

[laughter]

- All right, let's go.

- Ooh, we'll make another baby? - [laughs]

- ♪ Here we come, if you're ready ♪

♪ For the trauma, let me know ♪

♪ Here we come ♪

- All right. You ready for this?

- I don't know.

I didn't just fly all those miles,

I have jetlag, literally to see them

and have this, like, whole falling out tonight.

Wait, should I trust you guys? I don't know.

- I mean, we saved your wedding, so...

- I'm not in the mood for this.

- Guys, come on.

- It is time for Angeliners to talk it out with the girls.

To be honest, I'm a bit afraid of what's gonna happen next.

- ♪ If you're ready for the trauma, let me know ♪

♪ Here we come ♪ - What the [bleep] is that?

- Jenni?

- What do you girls gotta say now?

- There are times for fun and games,

and there's times to be serious, you know?

Do you wanna be in this family?

[dramatic musical sting]

[hip-hop music]

- Stay, get your [bleep] beat.

You could stay and get your [bleep] a*s beat.

- She can't be talked to. She cannot be talked to.

- Ron, stop!

- I'm going home.

- Wait, should I trust you guys?

I don't know.

- I mean, we saved your wedding, so...

- Guys, come on.

Okay, it's been months since you've seen these girls.

Are you ready for this? - months!

- Angelina, are you ready?

- No, I'm not ready. - Come on, come on.

- Open the door, Mike. - In here?

- Let's go, Angelina.

- Angelina! - Oh, hell no.

What the [bleep] is that?

- I will never film with her again!

- Zero highlights.

- What do you girls gotta say now?

- Party's here!

[dramatic musical sting] - I'm dead.

What the [bleep] is this? That's not Deena.

She looks like a freaking porcelain doll.

- Ooh, now she's coming for Deena.

- Ooh!

- She's too pale to be Deena.

- Angelina, that's you.

- I'm a fake b*tch. I know.

Oh, my God, I know. I did wear that, actually.

- Oh, my God! - Hey, everyone.

Well, good job, Pauly.

It was actually, like, seeing myself in a mirror, kind of.

Where did you guys get these dolls?

- Dolls R Us.

When I went in there to buy a Jenni,

a Snooki, a Deena, I had to order them,

but there already was an Angelina there.

It's crazy. - How?

- Somebody already wanted one, I guess.

- Okay. - It was Vinny.

[laughs]

- Vinny, was it from your house?

Say the truth. - Yeah.

- They are literally wack jobs.

Like, [bleep] silicone dolls.

- Look, Angelina sat next to Nicole.

- I know. That's so weird.

- Oh, [bleep]. - Yeah, her kooka's out.

- Oh, [bleep], is there really one?

Oh, my God. There really is one.

- Oh, my God! - Oh, my--what are you doing?

Why are you pulling that up? - Oh, no, that's--stop!

[TV static] [elevator music]

- Oh, God, ew. [bleep].

- Why are you doing that?

- Pretend that's me in your bed.

Take the clothes off.

I have a new a*s. That's not my a*s.

- Leave it to Angeliners

to go straight for the gutter.

- There's no a*s[bleep] on this thing.

- Oh, my-- God!

- Ah! There is!

- [bleep] got weird in here.

- She has literally [bleep] on herself.

- I farted, and I thought it was, like, something else.

Like period-period. [dramatic musical sting]

- She has sat her a*s in a funfetti cake.

[dramatic music]

- What the [bleep]?

- It made a noise!

- But in trying to [bleep] herself...

- Ew, why does it got a doody stain?

[dramatic musical sting]

- Really takes the cake on this one.

How did we get here?

They can't show any of this [bleep] on MTV.

- [laughs] [TV static]

- Oh, my gosh. - [screams]

- Oh, my God. She's [bleep].

- Oh, my God.

I'm just saying, I wanted to see

if you really put an a*s in there, and there is.

Like, kind of, but it's a tiny one.

- Ew.

- Tighter than your a*s[bleep] when you fart.

- Vinny, you don't even know--

- When you fart, it sounds like this.

[weakly huffs] - You stupid as*h*le!

If I wanted you, I could [bleep] snap my fingers,

and your [bleep] would've been right near here.

"Oh, Angelina." [imitates Vinny's moans]

- Um, the reverse psychology does not really work too much

with Angelina. - What the?

- We thought by getting her worked up,

she would get tired.

- Oh! - Oh, God, sandwich!

- But no. Nope.

- We're so classy. - Nope, not at all.

Ang is not tired.

- Oh, she took her glasses. - Vinny--

- I think it's safe to say

psychology doesn't work on psychos.

- Well, I wonder what room

you're staying in tonight, Angeliners.

- I have no idea. Not Vinny's, though.

- Would you like me to show you to your suite?

- Yes, please. I would never want you, Vinny.

Just put it in your [bleep] brain.

- She doesn't want you, Vinny. Get over her.

- In a million [bleep] years. A trillion years.

- You wish. - Take a right.

Our plan to get the family back together isn't going so well.

- Tell Vinny I said eff off.

- I'll relay the message. [both laugh]

We had high hopes of getting Angelina and Deena

to sit down and to actually make up,

but Angelina's a wild card.

- Hurricane Angeliners.

- She's so exhausting.

- Bro, I'm exhausted. - Wow.

- This double booking backfired.

We did it all wrong.

We need a new plan. - Yeah.

- Can we revisit this tomorrow? I'm exhausted.

- We gotta sleep on it. - Yo, let's get the [bleep]--

- My mind's not even working right now.

- Yo, I'm hungries. - That a good attempt, fellas.

- All right, fellas, good try. - That woman's unpredictable.

- [grunts]

[ambient music]

I need [bleep] therapy after that [bleep].

- I need sleep.

[hip-hop music]

- ♪ I think about the big dollars ♪

♪ The big money, the big life ♪

♪ I know you wanna live just like me ♪

♪ Champagne sippin' with these b*tches ♪

♪ In the fast lane ♪

♪ Wish you could see this life I live ♪

- Are you up? - Huh?

- ♪ The big life ♪

- Good morning, honey. - What's up, honeys?

- Good morning. Can I have a kiss?

- ♪ Wish you could see this life I live ♪

- So what happened last night?

- Well, the boys were not doing so well.

We had a plan to tire Angeliners out.

And to be honest with you, we failed miserably.

- I didn't have one more ounce of energy last night.

She needs, like, an exorcist.

- Do you want cookies? - You're silly.

All right, come on. Let's get ourselves together.

This is honestly the best thing

that has ever happened on any family vacation.

I'll have some days with my roomies,

and then I'll have some days with my family.

But I'm not sitting with Angelina.

Like, I don't even want her coming up to me.

You know, it's not my problem

that they booked the both of us here at the same time.

You know?

- Well, they probably didn't think

it was that big of an issue.

- Yeah, and they also didn't see me

crying and depressed for the last eight months.

- What do you want, buddy? - You know?

It is what it is.

[exciting music]

- I badly need a haircut,

but if I grow my hair long, sometimes it looks good.

- I like it long.

♪ ♪

- Hello? - Hi.

It was [bleep] last night. I can't.

- Why what happened?

- The boys were acting so weird.

When I went upstairs into the suite,

the girls were dolls.

- Hey, what's up? What's up, what's up?

- Total destruction in here. Good morning, boys.

- It looks like there was a m*ssacre.

- Laurens, you don't even know. You have a second?

- He gave me, like, the most raunchy

of details, I think.

- What do we do with Deener and her?

- Right now, they can't cross paths.

- Not in this state. No way.

- So then, where do we go from here?

- To the gym.

- All right, are we ready? Gym?

- [bleep], let's lift.

- Who's gonna put together the girls?

- I don't know.

- ♪ We don't know what second is ♪

♪ No regrets when I reminisce ♪

♪ Safe to say that we're meant for this ♪

♪ Lifestyle 'cause we'll benefit ♪

- Ooh, it's not that hot today. - It's nice today.

- I'm gonna give you a tickle monster!

Yay!

- ♪ And never switch up for a check ♪

♪ The only thing worth more is the respect, aye ♪

- Whoo! - [sighs]

- [exhales] - Yo.

I thought you said it doesn't rain in Vegas.

A hurricane came through last night.

Angelina never disappoints. - I'm exhausted.

What do we even do at this point with her?

- I'll tell you one thing-- I'm not letting her and Deena

see each other just yet.

- Oh, facts. - She's still too hot.

- But we can't tire her out, so what do we do?

- We're in our, like, last options right now.

- Angeliners seems to be running around

always on a hamster wheel, okay?

Around and around we go.

- Let's try a different approach today.

Let's just talk to her like a human.

Just be like, "Listen, Deena's here.

What would it take for you to have a conversation with her?"

- All right.

Be straightforward. I like that.

- We just have to have, like, a real conversation with her.

- We might need to sit her down and give her an ultimatum.

- "This is getting too much.

"Can you just be part of the family?

Or not? Or goodbye?"

[solemn music]

- ♪ Now you never know ♪

- Hello?

Boys?

Hello?

Hello!

- ♪ Never, ever, ever know ♪

- Vinny?

Well, they left me. Where the [bleep] is he?

- Honey, you might wanna finish your sets with Vinny over here.

You guys are doing the same weight.

- [laughs]

- All right, it's gonna be an interesting day then.

- Weather looks like it's sunny

with a chance of Angelina.

Deep down, I know she wants to squash this stuff.

She wants to put the family back together.

- She does, but I just think she doesn't know what to do.

- All right, so we're gonna give her one more shot?

- Let's have a serious conversation with her honestly.

- I mean, we know she's got a good heart.

We know she's a good person.

We just gotta tell her to bring it down a notch.

- All right.

- It's time to move on and be a family again.

- First approach didn't work.

It's time to pivot. - Try something different.

- Yup. - At least we tried.

- Me and Ronnie know all about Plan B.

- Sure do. both: BROVID.

[laughter] - These guys are disgusting.

- Let's do it. Try this one more time.

- Where's my doll? Where's her head?

This one's the one Vinny really wants in his bed

and it ain't happening.

Oh, Vinny.

This is Vinny's gross, disgusting bed.

I'm sure he did a lot of gross things in this bed.

Oh, God, look at the eyeball. Does it come out?

Oh, my God!

I get the head of the bed because I'm the queen

of Vinny's dreams and his life.

That's the only time you're ever gonna have me

in your bed, Vinny, ever.

I know you want more,

but you can take the doll, and that's about it.

Sweet dreams, Vinny. You clown.

I'm the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island, baby.

[exciting music]

- It's a nice day today.

Maybe the weather is a indicator

of how our day's gonna go.

- ♪ Time to go wild ♪

♪ We're about to go wild, yeah ♪

- He's gonna love that one.

- Welcome to the Guidotopia.

- I'm gonna go get ready.

- There ain't no place to sit no more.

- I think that Angelina could be over this drama right now,

and she's sort of being a little bit too stubborn.

It's coming to the point

if you don't wanna be part of this family,

we might have to move on without you.

[knocking on door]

- Good morning. - Oh, my God.

Look who it is. - Or good afternoon,

whatever it is. - Oh, look at you.

- Hey, Angel. - What's up?

- It's time to have that talk with her.

- So what are we doing? Like, what's happening?

- Well, we wanted to sit you down

and talk to you like a real person.

- It's like a guido boardroom. About to get to business.

- We wanted to put all the, like, fun and games aside

and joking, and just--

hey, listen, we wanna move forward.

If you want this situation solved,

you have to be a part of the solution.

- In other words, what would you like me to do, then?

- Help us help you. - Exactly.

We just wanna move forward. All of us.

- We hate to see you upset. We wanna see you happy.

[tense music]

- Well, do you wanna be in this family?

♪ ♪

There are times for fun and games,

and there's times to be serious, you know?

Do you want us to take you serious?

[dramatic musical sting]

- We're going into w*r right now.

- Let's go!

- Oh, my God! - It's a w*r out there.

- Come on, Ang. Let's be realistic.

- I just don't wanna deal with this [bleep] no more.

- Enough is enough. - Oh!

- Bro-- - Jenni's coming.

- What?

For the first time in months, Angelina...

- You suck! - Deener...

- I'm starting to get a little nervous.

- And JWOWW are in the same building.

- It's getting real. - What the [bleep] is that?

- Don't [bleep] come at me. - That's [bleep] annoying.

- I thought we were making progress.

You have Deena now scared to sit down with Angelina.

- Did you guys just get that text?

[phone chimes] - Wow.

- Wow.

- Bro, this is like the note all over again.

- This is above our paygrade.

We need help. - Dr. Drew.

- Oh, damn!

- I'm just gonna rip the [bleep] Band-Aid off

'cause I can't do this anymore.

- But when bull[bleep] swirls, just keep moving forward.

- ♪ We ready ♪ - Let's go!

[screams] Oh, [bleep].

- What the [bleep] is going on?

- Threesome! - Oh, damn.

- Hey, Uncle Nino! - Hey, baby!

- Having you come to the dinner is, like, a big thing.

- Oh, I love a wedding redo this time of year!

- Do the [bleep] kiss,

and let's get this [bleep] thing over with.

- One more kiss! [cheering]

- It's official. I am Big Daddy Sitch.

- You're mine tonight, okay? I'm taking you

to my room tonight. - [laughs]