04x27 - Best Birthday Ever

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

- Here we go. - Happy birthday!

all: The family's back!

- Can you help me with a speech?

- I am feeling a little bit of pressure

putting on a whole talent show for Jenni's party.

- So I'm just gonna walk up there with a microphone

and just be like, "Hey, you [bleep] assholes."

- Wow. - We're gonna get [bleep] up.

[laughs]

- She's on another level, dude.

- Like, this is not gonna end well.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the...

Come on, Mike!

- Go, Mike.

- He's throwing the tendies.

- There's something really yummy in this.

It's better than your wife

at being an as*h*le to you. - I had one.

Angelina.

- What in the actual [bleep]?

It's taking every ounce of me

to not say what I really want to say.

- It's, like, a piece of crab. - Can you take it out, please?

- You're gonna smell like a fish stick.

- She's so lucky she's drunk.

- Oh, "She's so lucky." Are you gonna fight me?

- Oh, my frickin' God. Dren is on one tonight.

- Stop being like that today. - Come here. Turn around.

- She's fine.

- Just change into these things?

- No, no. You're just you.

Listen, it's always a disaster when Dren comes out.

- Ahh! - Oh, my God. Ow.

- No! - Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God. Snooki just ran into the bush face-first.

- Oh, my God.

- I'm pissing.

Angelina.

- But this is crazy even from Dren.

- Come. Let's go backstage, and we'll talk.

We can bring Uncle Nino his wine.

Come on. Let's go.

- Going to the back. - Hi, Saffabear.

- We're best friends now.

- She's got a thing, like, when she's drunk, man.

- You get my text?

- Mm-mm. Let me look.

- I am so thankful for Angelina.

She didn't react to Nicole.

Angelina kept her cool.

I want you to have a good time.

- I am. I'm fine.

- Get it, Vin.

- This is gonna be a disaster.

- Vin, I'm so proud of you.

- I gotta get this Poconos talent show back on track.

[upbeat jazzy music]

- Oh! - Oh, my God.

- Whoo Vinny!

- Go, Vin.

- What is he doing?

- The [bleep]?

You know what I mean?

Like, you can't make this [bleep] up.

[upbeat music]

- What is happening? - What the hell's happening?

- Eww.

- He's so [bleep] creepy.

- Obviously, I do Chippendales, so I'm used to, like,

learning choreography on the fly.

I mean, look at those moves.

Just, like, rolling with the rhythm of the wind.

I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life.

- Oh, he's so stupid.

[laughter]

- I don't know what Vinny is doing.

- Poor Vinny. - But it's kind of funny.

- I don't know. - Ooh, he's moonwalking.

- [laughs]

- I missed you guys.

Welcome back to the...

Our next act,

he's my favorite Puerto Rican from Porter Ranch.

Give it up for Ronnie Magro.

[cheers and applause]

- There he is. There he is. - Hey, Ronnie.

Oh, we have a special bear photographer in the building.

- Oh, the bear, babe. Can I dress in that?

Can I put this on?

- All right, Ronnie. Show us what you got.

How does a photo sh**t go? Look, we had to be creative

in thinking of Ronnie's talent.

And Ronnie does these, like, really funny,

embarrassing photo shoots

where he just looks confused all the time.

So we had Ronnie act out one of his Instagram photo shoots

for us live, in person.

He's confused.

[laughter]

- Oh!

- This man looks confused

for a living, and his receipts are on his social medias.

- He doesn't know what's going on,

what day of the week it is, what planet he's on.

- What the [bleep]?

Ronnie's walking,

and Saffa's taking pictures of him in a bear suit.

What is this, some [bleep]-up porn?

- [laughs]

- Work it, girl.

Ronnie don't know anything. I love it.

Ronnie Magro, ladies and gentlemen.

- What kind of present is this?

- I'm getting ready! [bleep].

- Hurry up. - Look. I'm a showman.

Like, I want to be prepared, and I want to do this right.

And I want to, you know, of course,

make everybody laugh.

It's a process. It's not easy, but this is my forte.

I'm in my groove now.

[quirky music]

- Oh, my God. - He's so stupid.

- Oh, man.

- The cake pops got no distance.

- You never think that Vinny can outdo his creepiness

until he proves to you that he can outdo his creepiness.

[laughter]

- Oh, my God.

[laughter]

- Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the...

- He's so stupid.

- Up next is someone else, because we had...

[laughter]

- Oh, my God.

- Uncle Nino. - Mwah!

- Nino. Nino.

- [inaudible].

- We are watching the weirdest birthday present in America.

I don't know who's more drunk, him or [bleep] Nicole.

- Yeah. We're moonwalking.

Yeah, Uncle Nino. Whoo!

- Oh, man.

- God bless America. God bless America.

- That was good. - [laughs]

- All right. You ready?

- Yeah. I can do that. - Okay. Yeah.

- b*tch, like, I haven't done a talent show in so long.

I'm drunk. I don't know what's happening,

and I don't know where I'm going, so...

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- Vinny. Vinny. Vinny. - [bleep].

- Chooch!

- I'm gonna cut that jump rope, before

this [bleep] vacation's over.

I'm over it. I don't give a [bleep].

Like, I can't look at that [bleep] jump rope anymore.

- I think the girls' gym is next door.

I think women's aerobics is across the street.

- Who brings their jump rope to dinner?

- Me. - Got his jump rope, babe.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- I hate it. I want to strangle him with it.

[upbeat music]

- Chooch.

You suck!

- Okay. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the...

- All right. We get it.

- Give it up for Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi.

- Whee! - With a cheerleading thing.

all: Whoo!

- Yeah!

- Whoo! - Oh, [bleep].

- She doesn't look too light on her feet.

- I mean, at this point, I don't know if I,

like, do a split.

I'm like, "Jenni?"

- Whoo!

- What the [bleep] is she doing?

Oh, [bleep].

all: Oh! - Oh, my God.

She went down. - Oh, my God. Is she okay?

- Oh, my God. - Is she okay?

- She needs a medic. She needs a medic.

- Show must go on.

- [laughs]

- I feel like I'm hallucinating right now

watching what I'm watching.

Oh, my God.

- [clears throat]

My throat's all [bleep] up. I'm sorry.

I haven't sucked [bleep] in a while.

- What? - Oh, wow.

- Wow. I think this speech is gonna be

a lot worse than I ever thought it would be.

- [inaudible].

- Let's just go. Do it.

- Nicole is still [bleep] raging.

- Can someone pick me up?

Bye, losers.

- ♪ I'm a bad girl ♪

♪ I'm a bad girl, I'ma I'ma bad girl ♪

- ♪ Drinkin' smokin' dancin' ♪

- Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the...

Give it up for Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi!

[together] Whoo!

- I want to prove that, girl, I still got it,

so I'm gonna do what I gotta do.

I'm gonna show Jenni, like, my cheerleading skills.

- Whoo! - Oh, [bleep].

all: Oh! - Oh, my God.

- She went down. - Oh, my God. Is she okay?

- Oh, my God. - Are you okay?

- She needs a medic. Yo, take her to the hospital.

Nicole comes out. One step. Two step. Her third step?

- Ahh!

- Boom. She drops from the stage.

Now, this is a four-foot stage. She's only four foot tall.

- Are you okay?

- She just face-planted. - I can't.

[laughs]

- She's just-- she just [bleep] fell.

- Ahh!

- Misses the whole staircase.

She didn't even try.

I can't. I can't.

- Do we have an EMT in the building?

- God has a weird way of giving people karma.

- [laughs]

She [bleep].

- I feel like Jenni's gonna want to k*ll me,

because I'm so embarrassing,

but, like, happy birthday, b*tch.

- I'm fine. I'm fine. - Are you okay?

- She's fine!

- Are you good?

- Oh, my God. - This is too perfect.

- Yeah!

- b*tch springs back up and starts cartwheeling away

like nothing happened.

- The show must go on. - Nicole!

- I can't.

- Yeah!

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.

- Whoo!

- This is pretty impressive.

- I have a cramp.

- Her legs are rubber. I guess meatballs don't break bones.

Meatballs do not break bones.

We got a meatball cleanup aisle six.

Meatball cleanup aisle six.

- Man down! - Oh, God.

I can't catch my breath!

- Finally, I think she's done. Thank God.

- We need a medic. Somebody help her.

- Is that the grand finale?

- Oh, there she is. She's back up.

- She's like the Energizer Bunny.

She keeps going and going and going and going.

- No, no, no, no, no. - Babe.

- Babe, please stay near her.

[laughs]

She just-- - Oh, my God.

- Babe, please stop her.

Zack, go get her.

Oh!

- I feel like I'm hallucinating right now

watching what I'm watching.

- She just doesn't...

- Man down! - Oh, my God.

- Nicole's talent in the talent show

was recreating, "Where's the beach?"

- Where's the beach?

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

There's a titty out. We got a titty out.

- All right. - We got a titty out.

- She just doesn't... - What do I do?

- I just don't know if this is Nicole's finest moment.

- Oh, her titty's out?

- Looks a little cold out there.

- Okay, okay. - I'm fine! I'm fine!

- Do you think KFC's still open?

- What do we actually do with her?

- I'm fine. - I don't know.

- Oh, my God.

That was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

- Put her--put her over here.

- Bro, she has nine lives.

- Okay.

- I'm fine.

Thank you, everybody!

- Yay. - Thank you, everyone.

- I love you. That was the best performance ever.

- Thank you. - God, I miss Nicole.

This is what I miss. This is the missing piece.

This is the best birthday present ever.

You can't get better than [bleep].

- The show must go on. - Thank you.

- This has been one of the wildest nights...

- Whoo! - On record. To be honest,

I'm a bit afraid of what's gonna happen next.

- Angelina's next.

- ♪ When you this fly ♪

- That gave Angelina a hard act to follow.

- Vin.

- Just stand to the side of the stage.

- My speech is up next, and I'm [bleep] nerve-racked.

Like, who the hell knows what she's gonna do?

Are they gonna throw tomatoes at me? I don't even know.

These people are crazy, so I'm a little--a little nervous.

- Come on. Don't mess with me.

- I'm, like, re-reading the speech over and over again,

and my nerves are getting worse and worse, because listen,

I want to make sure this makes Jenni laugh a little bit.

- Is everyone having a good evening? Whoo.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the...

She is the dump to my island.

She just flew here on her broomstick.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Staten Island Ferry

has a special message for Jenni JWOWW Farley.

Give it up for Angelina Pivarnick Larangeira.

[cheers and applause]

- As I see Angelina going to the podium,

I'll be honest. I'm a little nervous right now, mm-hmm.

Yeah. I'm a lot of nervous.

- Hi, Angelina. - Hey.

- You're an angel. - Thank you.

- If this talent show couldn't get any worse,

Angelina is about to give a speech

to be the most disastrous finale in talent show history.

- Can you help me with a speech?

'Cause I can't do it alone.

I think I overdid my [bleep] speech.

- This four paragraphs is about the same [bleep] thing.

- [clears throat]

[exhales]

[clears throat]

- My throat's all [bleep] up. I'm sorry.

I haven't sucked [bleep] in a while.

- What? - Oh, wow.

- Wow.

- [bleep] My life, man. - Wow.

I think this speech is gonna be a lot worse than

I ever thought it would be.

Jenni, where are you at? Oh, there you are.

- ♪ I heard you a little nasty throw see ♪

♪ [indistinct] from the studio ♪

♪ Back it up on the flow ♪

- Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the...

If this talent show couldn't get any worse,

Angelina is about to give a speech

to be the most disastrous finale in talent show history.

- [clears throat]

My throat's all [bleep] up. I'm sorry.

I haven't sucked [bleep] in a while.

- What? - Oh, wow.

- [bleep] my life, man. - Who said that?

- This speech right here could ruin all the progress

from the past couple months,

and all eyes are on Angeliners right now.

- Jenni, where are you at? Oh, there you are.

Well, it's your birthday! Whoo!

[cheers and applause]

- I love birthdays.

- Everyone should really try the cake.

It's flavored with Funfetti, vanilla frosting,

and my as*h*le.

Sorry, Mike.

[bleep]. I didn't mean to do that to you.

You know, I know how you love Funfettis and everything.

- She stuck her a*s on... - What the [bleep]?

- Funfetti cake. No!

- Come on. You ruined a cake!

- [laughs]

- Jenni, Jenni, Jenni.

We all remember your speech that you gave at my wedding.

I haven't seen a bombing that [bleep] bad since World w*r II.

What the [bleep]?

- Oh, my God. - No.

- World w*r II. Do you know what that means?

Like, your bombing was worse than that.

That's [bleep] crazy.

- I'm so embarrassed.

[laughter]

- That's saying a lot.

- I am too drunk for this [bleep].

[laughter]

- I don't know where Angelina's going with her speech,

but it's just very messy.

- No wonder why I am the dump to your island.

You dumped that [bleep] b*mb

right into my wedding reception,

and it lasted for ten full [bleep] months.

I didn't stop hearing about it.

[bleep] My life. Thank God it's over.

- You missed the punch line.

Angelina doesn't know delivery.

She doesn't know tone.

I gave Angelina, like, one good joke,

and she can't even deliver it the right way.

- I might fart in a little bit, actually.

- I'm gonna k*ll myself.

- I want to take Uncle Nino's cane

and just, like, hook her off the stage.

- Jenni, can I fart on you, 'cause it's your birthday?

You won't let me touch your t*ts.

Can I just [bleep] fart on you at least?

- [bleep] It's the dump. That's the dump talking.

That's the...

- As Angelina's giving her speech,

I don't think I'm that nervous anymore as concerned.

- Jenni, my husband, he told me that you're [bleep] fiancé

is a size shoe. Is that true?

Oh, my God. That's huge. Damn.

- You're great. Keep--keep going.

- I don't know what the [bleep] is happening.

This is a [bleep] show.

- You must really be sucking that thing good, boy.

- Oh, my... - What is happening?

- That wasn't the punch line, you idiot.

- Stop sucking. Stop [bleep]. Have a baby.

- Oh, my God. Help me.

- Zack, where do I begin?

- Save her! Save her! - Hold on.

- It's very apparent that Vinny worked so hard

on this talent show tonight.

- Just get to the sentimental part.

- All right. Stop, relax.

- But it's also very apparent that Angelina's worked

just as hard to ruin it.

- Turn the mic off. - Come on!

- Wait. Can I say the one--Jenni,

you seriously are a role model to me--

- Which at the end of the day

might make everyone laugh and might be just what we needed.

- But no. Seriously, I want to wish you guys the best.

Seeing you and your kids this trip makes me look up

to you as a mother, a person,

friend, businesswoman, and a speech-giver.

Actually, forget that speech-giver part.

We both [bleep] suck.

Let's just be honest. [bleep] am I doing up here?

I'm only doing this for you, b*tch.

- True. - Thanks, Ang.

- You should remember this. This is how much I love you.

We've made so much progress, in my opinion.

We went from enemies to frenemies,

and I'm hoping, instead of being frenemies,

we can actually try and be real friends going forward.

Please, everybody, raise your glasses up,

and let's cheers to the soon-to-be

Mr. and Mrs. . Happy birthday. Whoo!

- Thank you, Ang. That was--I'm proud of you.

- Mwah.

- Angelina Pivarnick, everybody.

- Why are you still calling me my other last name?

- Larangeira. - as*h*le.

- Don't put Larangeira on that speech.

- All right, everybody. I hope everyone had a good night.

Happy birthday, Jenni. Thank you.

This was literally the biggest [bleep] show--literally show--

that I've ever seen in my life, but I'm kind of proud of it.

Like, it was kind of like a beautiful disaster.

Like, it made everybody laugh,

and it was like the worst best thing I've ever seen.

- Happy... - Thank you.

- Birthday, b*tch. - Thank you.

That was really sweet. Best birthday ever.

- Whoo! - Boo this man! Boo this man!

- Everybody. - Get him with an empanada.

- Get him, baby! - Come on. Go DJ.

- This talent show has been a weird, crazy mess.

- Pauly's about to DJ. - It brings back memories.

I need to turn this whole, entire place

into a makeshift Karma.

[upbeat music]

- Come on. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

- Mic check. One two. One two.

- Pauly, hit it, buddy.

- Never did I ever think that first summer

when we were partying at Karma we'd still be here

years later doing it in the Poconos.

- Whoo!

- Even though Zack wasn't around in the Karma days,

I feel like he's getting a little taste

of what it's like.

I will have to say this is the best birthday

hands down that I've ever had.

- We're taking it back to Karma one time.

Who's trying to beat the beat up with DJ Pauly D? Let's go!

all: Yeah!

- It's so fun to be able to, like, dance with my roomies.

Kind of, like, be back to normal, for a second.

And even though we're all years old, we still got it.

- First we start off banging the ground.

We're banging it as the beat fills.

- Bring it up!

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

all: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

- Whoo!

- That beat's hitting us, and we're fighting back.

It's like we beat up that beat.

[all shouting]

- Yes, b*tch. Like, this is why I came here,

because obviously I love my roomies.

But also, like, I want everyone to have a good [bleep] time.

It's time to get wild. Let's go.

all: Whoo! - Hey. Hey. Hey.

- You can't make this story up, man.

And remember I think [inaudible].

I would like to say that I want this thing forever,

this right here.

years later, we're in the Poconos now

beating the beat up.

This is why we go on these trips,

for these moments right here.

[all shouting]

- ♪ But baby you're good to good to go, go, go ♪

- ♪ Good to go, go, go ♪

- ♪ So DJ turn it up ♪

♪ So DJ turn it up ♪

♪ DJ turn it up ♪

♪ And blow the speakers ♪

♪ So turn it up, yeah ♪

♪ Oh turn it ♪

- We just made this into the next Karma.

We're beating up the beat. We're having a good time,

and this feels like old times again.

- That was cool.

- Yeah. I'm good.

- No. It was funny.

- I was like, "I don't want to offend you."

I was like, "Ooh." - No. It was funny.

- But she's on--usually she's not this bad.

I'm like, "Holy [bleep]." What happened?

Thank you for not reacting.

- Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I actually felt great that Jenni was like,

"Listen, I'm sorry about Nicole."

- Whoo! - I'm happy that

she's seeing it too. I'm not going crazy here.

- Whoo! - That's not even normal.

[upbeat music]

- Y'all have a good night. - Good night. Thank you.

- Thank you. Thank you, guys. Bye, guys.

- You did good. You ignored. Thank you.

- Ugh.

- ♪ I wanna go with you ♪

- When the last two people on the dance floor

are Snooki and Uncle Nino

you know that it's time to end this night.

♪ ♪

- Whoo! - Oh. Buh. Buh. Buh. Buh.

- Oh. Buh. Buh. Buh. Buh.

- Lookit. - No more music.

- Someone has to tell Nicole the music has stopped.

- Please play...

- She's talking to the booth.

- "Enjoy Yourself." Whoo! - She's a mess.

Nicole is staring and talking to an LED screen.

She's just attracted to shiny things.

She's like a moth right now.

- I will prepare for that. Thank you.

- What is going on? - It's time to go.

- Shuttle van. - Buddha call me in.

- Come on, Boo-boo. - Bye, girl.

- Nicole. - Yeah. I'm right here.

- Good night. - Best night of my life.

Thank you, Boo. You made me laugh so hard.

- Yeah. Tonight sucked.

What the [bleep]? Like, everyone was so horrible.

[laughter] - Oh, my God.

- ♪ You hop in the car and roll with me ♪

- All right, so I'm gonna stay out.

- Where are you going? - She going to the club.

- Yeah. - I gotta put my kid to sleep.

No. Go to Vinny's room.

- I don't want to go to Vinny's room.

I'd rather die. - Go to Ron's room.

- I will go to Ron's room. - Yeesh ka-pibbles.

- It was a good talent show. - It was.

- It was the best talentless show I've ever been to.

- It was.

I got a little nervous with Angelina and Nicole, but--

- Yeah. that got a little-- - No.

Angelina just ignored, you know.

- Which is crazy, because, you know,

Angelina could have easily overreacted, and--

- She's getting better. - I know. It seems like

she's thinking things out instead of just reacting.

- Yeah. - I was super impressed.

- I want to [bleep] lose it. Like, I'ma lose it.

I'm want to lose it. Nicole. She's...

- Yeah. This is a crazy night. - On another level.

She was on another level tonight.

- She's really drunk. - You know what?

From now on, Angelina's gonna get drunk,

and I'm gonna [bleep] do [bleep] to people,

and then what are they gonna say to me?

- I'm really drunk, and I'm behaving myself very well.

- Here I am again having to always be the bigger person,

and it's annoying, and it's annoying, and it's annoying.

How much--how long can I take that?

- You're really drunk. You're behaving yourself very well.

- You need... - And Nicole--

- To brush your teeth. Babe, your breath stink.

Stop! Stop, babe. Stop. Please stop.

I don't give a [bleep]. Call me a villain.

- You got to meet Dren tonight. - Who's Dren?

- Nicole's drunk persona.

- Good night, Nicole. Go lay down.

- No. You lay down.

- Nicole is still [bleep] raging,

and hopefully she ends up in someone's bed other than mine.

- Let's just go. Do it. you [bleep] b*tch.

It's green. Now it's turning.

- ♪ Go go ♪

- ♪ This is what it sounded like ♪

♪ This is what it sounded like ♪

- She won't even remember it tomorrow.

- ♪ This is what it sounded like ♪

- I'm ready, you wh*re bag.

Can I get a ride?

Can someone pick me up? Mom.

Yo, I feel like there's sheep.

Bye, losers.

Come on, little horses!

Oh. Yeah. I'm a good time.

Bring it on, h*.

Running away.

Ow! And that's all.

- ♪ I'm a I'm a bad girl ♪

- ♪ I'm a bad girl, I'm a I'm a bad girl ♪

- ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Why don't we come together? ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

- Good morning, honeys. - Good morning.

- Today is the last day today, honeys.

- I know. - Good morning.

- What a night. - I know. It was crazy.

♪ ♪

- I hope stuff don't pop off at the baby shower.

- I hope not. Like, come on. Can we not contain ourselves?

- For real. - I had a nightmare

that Angelina gave a speech.

- [inaudible]. - Mm-hmm.

- I cried so hard last night. I was laughing so hard.

I can't catch my breath.

Do you want to go get food?

- Yeah. - It's a big day today, babe.

- The party's today. - I know.

It's our last day,

and I planned this surprise baby shower

for the pregnant moms-to-be. I want to hold a--surprise

being the key--dual baby shower, on the last day.

- That would be perfect.

- I hope Nicole doesn't start with Angelina again.

Hopefully, she's able to help decorate.

There's drama with Nicole and Angelina,

but I don't care who has beef.

We're squashing it during the party.

I don't know anyone's state of mind right now.

- Nicole's an as*h*le. - She can't handle her liquor.

I thought you were bad. She's way worse.

- When she's like that I learned you gotta...

- Yeah, you gotta just walk away.

- You can't even look at her in the eyeballs,

'cause once you look at her in the eyes, it's done.

It's a wrap for you.

What the [bleep] actually happened last night?

Like, what is Nicole's problem?

I don't even know what to say at this point,

because I'm so pissed off. You're throwing things at me.

You're [bleep] disparaging my marriage.

You got, like, some [bleep] nerve.

Back up. Mind your [bleep] business.

- I thought Angelina and Nicole were gonna fight.

- I really did. - For real, bro.

- I guess Nicole had a little too much wine to drink,

and then next thing you know...

- When she Drens she Drens.

- And just because you're drunk doesn't give you a pass.

- I guarantee you Nicole's not even gonna know.

She's not gonna even remember.

- Mm. I'm passing away.

You know when people say when they're hungover,

"I feel like I got run over by a truck?"

No. I really feel like somebody rolled over me

with a [bleep] truck. Like, what is happening?

I need a mimosa. I need food. I need Jesus.

I remember bits and pieces from last night.

- Oh! - Ahh! Ahh!

- Man down.

- But at the same time, I don't remember anything.

- Are you sore at all? - My body hurts.

I feel like I ran a mile.

- You face-planted off the stage.

- [laughs]

- Oh, my God.

I don't remember anything.

No recollection.

- You missed the whole set of stairs and just...

- [bleep]. - Oh!

- Oh, my God.

- Okay. - It was funny,

'cause you just bounced back up and just kept on going.

- Oh, my God.

- It's the meatball in me.

- I carried you off the stage with Mike.

- I'm fine! I'm fine.

- [laughs]

- So embarrassing.

- Do you know argued with Angelina?

- Oh, [bleep]. Deena k*lled it.

- I did the freakin' tequila thing.

- Angelina, you weren't even involved.

all: Whoa!

- Dren is so rude. - [laughs] Yeah.

- Sometimes Dren can be a b*tch.

- And then you were throwing things at her.

- Normally, people black out, and they fall asleep,

or they're just still fun.

When I black out Dren awakes. She's like a demon.

[cackling]

- I told everyone, "Don't make eye contact with it."

- "With it."

- She comes into my body, and she's like, "[bleep] you.

I'm gonna k*ll you." Like, she just hates people.

- Don't look at it. Just let it sit there.

I'm trying to talk to a therapist about it.

Like, why does that happen?

But if Dren's mean to you that means that I love you.

I feel bad, and I hope she's not mad at me.

- That girl just came yesterday.

She's been MIA since the wedding.

I had a brunch with her.

- Yeah. I saw it on TMZ.

- Well, we had a good brunch, I thought,

so I don't know why she's coming for me yesterday.

For you to even [bleep] sit there and tell my husband

that he deserves a girl that treats him good,

like, b*tch you don't know [bleep].

- Yeah, why are you yelling for?

- I'm getting pissed off.

I'm not--I'm [bleep]--I can't. Like, girl, I can't.

Now my blood pressure's [bleep] boiling over here.

I'm sick of it.

Eventually, the old Angelina's gonna come back,

and [bleep]'s gonna get liddy up in this b*tch.

A person can only take so much.

There's only one way to [bleep] go. Down.

'Cause I'm gonna [bleep] explode.

I said, "Thank you, Nicole, for getting my husband a drink."

She gives it to Chris. She goes, "Your wife treats

you like [bleep]. You need to get another girl."

- Oh. - "Your wife treats

you like [bleep]." - Drama never sleeps, bro.

Drama never sleeps.

- ♪ There's a firestorm ahead ♪

♪ H-h-h-hammering ♪

♪ Like a drum ♪

- There's my shoes.

- ♪ And I'll talk when I like like a maniac ♪

- I literally don't feel like looking nice today.

- Hey. - Oh, hi, Chris. Hi, Dee.

- Hey, what's up? - Last night was wild.

Did you not die when she fell off the stage?

- Oh, my God. Whenever she got to the stairs

I would get really nervous, and it just came out.

I'm like, "CJ, be careful. CJ."

I just called her CJ! Like she was my child.

- Yep, sure as hell was acting like one.

- Dren was gunning for Angelina yesterday.

- She was, like, throwing, like,

lobster or something at her. - Crab cakes.

- She threw it, and Angelina was just, like, ignoring her.

- Yeah. - And then Nicole's like,

"Excuse me. I'm throwing things at you."

- Angelina, I am literally throwing [bleep] at you.

- Oh, no.

- I was like-- - I didn't see that.

- It's, like, oh, my God.

- I have to give Angelina credit where credit's due.

She did right by all of us.

She didn't let it ruin the night.

She didn't let it ruin her night,

and she didn't make a big scene out of it.

Could have went really bad really quickly,

and Angelina didn't take the bait.

I didn't know if you wanted to go to Angelina's room.

- Yeah. - Hopefully...

- See how she's doing. - She's not upset.

- You're bringing up something from Point Pleasant

[bleep] years ago. Girl, like, stop.

- All right. I'll be back, babe.

- All right. Let me know how it goes.

- Hopefully she didn't marinate in it too long.

- Oh, God. I know. - Who is she? What is she?

The queen of [bleep] England? Like, give me a break.

- Honey, I think we done good out here.

Baby Sitch is on the way, and the next chapter

of this journey or this story, as it continues,

is our gender reveal on the last day.

- We've already had a gender reveal.

I did it with the Christmas tree.

Oh, my-- - It's a boy! It's a boy!

- Everybody knows it's a boy. Like, the reveal happened.

- The wall has landed, okay?

- Like, I'm so tired of the wall.

Mike's had this idea for months.

- I saw something online where somebody ran through,

like, a makeshift door

and have it explode a specific color.

Now that I'm officially gonna be Big Daddy Sitch, okay,

I have to show my son out there

that the comeback is always greater than the setback.

You want to [bleep] do this? [bleep].

I can't GTL. I'm upset, man.

I'm really, like, all in my feels.

If you fall and take that L, turn it into a lesson.

Get back up, dust yourself off, and try again.

And hence why we're going through the wall today, honey.

What do you think?

- You had too much caffeine for me.

- Come on.

- Hey. - Hey.

- How you doing, girl? - Yeah. How you doing?

- You wash that crab cake out of your hair?

- All of us have come such a long way since Vegas.

- Here.

- I'm actually gonna leave you girls alone.

- I mean... - Bye.

- We're, like, messes. - Hi and bye.

- I just hope that, you know,

Dren didn't bring on another situation that we have to fix.

- I just wanted to make sure you're okay.

- First of all, how was your birthday?

Did you like it?

- It was amazing. - Did you have fun?

- I had so much fun. You guys...

- The speech was good, right? - k*lled it.

- Well, I'm happy that you enjoyed it.

- Nicole falling had me crying. Did you see her fall?

- I did.

- When she drinks she'll either go really happy,

or Dren comes out, and we're all used to Dren.

Like, as soon as we see Dren coming out, all of us scatter.

- She's Dren. She's two people.

- I know how to handle Dren,

because I've been around Dren so many times.

Angelina's only been around Dren a couple times,

because she wasn't around for so long.

So, Angelina, meet Dren. She's a b*tch.

- The most concerning thing to me

is what she said to my husband. - What'd she say?

- She went to go get Chris a drink, and I said,

"Thank you, Nicole, for getting my husband a drink."

She gives it to Chris. She goes, "Your wife

treats you like [bleep]. You need to get another girl."

- Oh. - "Your wife treats

you like [bleep]."

- You treat him like dog [bleep].

I hope one day you find a respectable woman.

- Like, why would you do that? - I didn't know that.

- Now, if I did that to her, she would flip...

- I know. - The [bleep] out.

- I do think it was a low blow for Nicole

to go after Angelina's marriage,

so Angelina's right on this one.

- Clearly, I feel like there's still animosity there,

and that's why she zoomed in on you.

And maybe you guys do still need to talk things out.

In Vegas, when I sat down with Angelina,

we got everything that we needed to talk about out.

I'm ready to move on. It's just, like, time.

- I feel the same way. I'm just, like, over it.

I don't want to talk about it anymore.

- Nicole and Angelina,

they did a brunch where they both got drunk.

- Cheers to you not being a [bleep] dramatic b*tch.

- And cheers to you going, "[bleep] Yourself."

- So I feel like they didn't have that serious conversation,

and maybe that's why there's still some animosity there.

So I feel like you guys do need a talk.

- You need to tell her how you truly feel,

and I don't think there's anything wrong with it,

and I'll have your back... - Thank you.

- With that. She's my best friend,

but at the end of the day, like, you have the right

to have the feelings that you're having.

- I think Nicole's got some deep-seated issues with me.

- I'll hit you up on when we'll meet.

- Thank you. It came out when she was drunk.

- We've had such a good time, and we've...

- I like you today. - Come such a long way.

- Oh, you like me today?

But she can't use her drunkenness

as a [bleep] excuse, though. I'm not hearing that today.

All right. I'll see you guys in a little bit.

- Yes. Get ready. Don't be late.

- [scoffs] Hell no.

- ♪ We could be friends, we could be friends ♪

♪ You know by now just how this ends ♪

- How are we gonna do this with Nicole? 'Cause I feel like...

- I don't know. - She's gonna--

- Let's go down to Mike and Vinny.

- Last night got a little bit crazy

with Angelina and Nicole.

After talking to Angelina,

I know that there is a bigger issue here than just Dren.

- I think they're in here.

- So we have to figure out

how we're going to fix this problem.

Hey. - Hi, gents.

- Morning. What's happenings?

- Well we... - A lot of dramas.

- Just sat with Angelina. - Oh.

- Stop it.

- Well, because we wanted to make sure she was all right.

- Uh-huh. What happened?

- Nicole was, like, really antagonizing her last night.

- Uh-huh. - Throwing food at her.

- Uh-huh. - It took a lot for me

to take the high road last night. It really did.

- But at least all your roomies actually agree with you.

- She's holding a grudge, boy. For what reason, I don't know.

- We didn't know she went to Chris, and she goes...

- "You need a new girl.

Your wife treats you like [bleep]."

- Oh, [bleep]. It's like that? I don't understand.

I thought, like, they were texting each other.

Things were a little better.

I know that Snooki did make some remarks at their lunch

or brunch or whatever it was.

- The problem is, me and Angelina sat down,

had a real conversation.

It was, like, a serious conversation.

It was like a year and a half of our lives

that was, like, a mess.

- You guys had to bring in... - You know?

- Dr. Drew for my conversation. - You had to get Dr. Drew,

so, like, we had serious conversations.

We actually got through...

- Yeah. Nicole was just... - What we had to.

- Like, "Let's do a shot. Cheers, b*tch."

- Yeah.

- Right, so that could be the problem.

- Wow, so I think we have a lot of work on our hands.

I feel like Nicole is about to undo all of the work

that we did in Vegas.

- Angelina's coming? Are you guys kidding?

- Sometimes you have to be the bigger person.

- I am always the bigger person.

[bleep] out of here.

- Angelina's in. - I just don't want to allow

someone like that back in my life.

- It was not easy, but we got past it.

- The goal is to make it so everybody can get along.

- I want this done. all: Hey!

- Oh, I love a wedding. [indistinct].

- Jenni!

She just said we're not mean girls!

- You're not mean girls.

- What you call this right here is a job well done.

both: Yes.

- All of our hard work is about to be undone,

so I'm a little nervous for sure.

- Bye. - See you guys in a little bit.

I was, like, enjoying the fruits of our labor, like,

watching all the girls, like, be happy and smiling, and...

- Yeah. - I was like, "Wow.

Like, we did that," and now party's here

just like...

It's time to defuse this b*mb,

and it's time for RSVP to assemble.

It seems we're gonna have to have a meeting

of the minds right now.

- You want to call Ronnie?

- Because I won't allow anyone to undo all of the work

that has been done in Vegas by RSVP.

Yo, what up, man? We need an RSVP emergency meeting.

- RSVP needs to have an emergency meeting.

- When the girls have issues, RSVP solves it, like tissues.

- R. - S.

- V. - P.

all: To the rescue! - What happened, bro?

- There seems to be a rift between Angeliners and Snooki.

- I mean, we literally just had a dinner the night

before saying like, "Oh, my God.

This is the happiest we've ever been."

- Yes. To be honest,

this vacation has really brought us closer together.

- Yeah. We're like this. We're like this.

- This is the closest we've ever been.

- Yes.

- Everyone's getting along. - Yes.

- This trip, we've definitely grown closer.

- Oh, [bleep]! - [bleep].

- Every other trip, there's so much drama and chaos,

and I feel like, this time,

we actually enjoyed each other's company.

all: Yeah!

- And then last night we went from having a great time

at a birthday party with a talent show

to Angelina having beef with Nicole.

Nicole is our sister. We love her, you know,

we want the whole family together just getting along.

- Hello? - Hey, what are you doing?

- We're in the room. What are you doing?

- Do you want to come to the main suite?

- All right. I'll be there.

I'm gonna put my shoes on, okay?

- All right. Thanks. - Bye.

- Drama never sleeps, bro. Drama never sleeps.

- ♪ And like your mama said, mama said ♪

♪ Honey don't worry, it's all in your head ♪

♪ In your head ♪

♪ They try to tell you how to make your bed ♪

♪ Make your bed ♪

♪ They're not the ones that gonna be sleepin' there ♪

♪ Sleepin' there ♪

- I thought today was gonna be an easy day.

- ♪ Don't you let 'em take your crown ♪

♪ No-oh-oh ♪

Can we go talk? - Oh, no. Here we go.

Awkward.

- I have a bit of a surprise.

- Oh, my God. Another one?

- What is that? - Oh, it's happening.

[dramatic music]

[all shouting]

- Ahh! - Medic!