02x06 - Running Mates/Dirty Duke

[bunniefuu]

[opening theme music plays]

[siren blaring]

[horn honks]

[siren blaring]

[tires screech]

This is Gabby Tocamera
at City Theatre

where Poppy Starr has scheduled
a charity concert to benefit those

who can't afford tickets
to this charity concert.

We just got word thieves
have stolen a rare,

defective talking Poppy doll

that was to be sold
at the event.

Ugh, what is that smell?

Guys, yeah, the recording
booth smells like feet!

The theft highlights the rising
crime rates in the city

before the upcoming
mayoral elections.

I'm here with Mayor Solomon Fleck,
who is running for re-election.

Mayor Fleck,
how do we prevent terrifying,

silly doll-related villainy
from becoming an epidemic?

Gabby, the key is work,
work, work.

Hard work. So I have a simple solution
to this crime problem...

You're going to say, work.

Yes, but in my voice. Work.

Oh. Thank you, Mayor Fleck.

Here is our other
mayoral candidate,

business tycoon, R.E. Fendrich.

Mr. Fendrich,
rumor has it you, yourself,

are responsible for the rise
in crime to make Mayor Fleck

-appear inept.
-[clears throat]

How do you respond?

Gabby, the good people of this city

deserve a non-evasive,
honest answer to that question.

-I respond...
-Boss,

I stole the defective Poppy doll
like you told me to

in order to make Fleck
look inept

Hi, I'm Poppy

and to all my fans...
[burps]

I had an everything bagel
just now, it's so gross.

I've never seen this employee
of mine in my life!

Officers, I've caught the doll thief!

[grunts]

Come on, Tommy,
let's show this doll thief

that crime is nothing
to play with!

Or how about this one,
with the caption, Re-elect Fleck

because change is scary!

Mr. Mayor, are you still worried

about Fendrich
making you look bad

in front of the whole city?

I'm fine, Carol. I'm working.
Work is the great healer.

It fills the heart
and lifts the spirits.

So, everything will be fine,
until I lose the election.

Don't talk that way, sir.
How is your speech coming?

It's a dry analysis
of community problems

and the amount of work
it will take to solve them.

-It may be my finest speech yet.
-[door opens]

Hi, Mommy! Hi, Mr. Mayor!

Maddy!

Hello, Small Carol,
I mean, Madison, excuse me.

Uh oh. You're worried
about the election, aren't you?

I understand.

I'm running for Mayor of Recess
against a mean kid,

Tommy Wedgieman.

Everyone's gonna vote for Tommy
because they're scared of him.

He'll take all the fun
out of recess.

But no one grasps the intricate
policies and nuanced diplomacy

of kickball and hopscotch
like you do.

You should tell your classmates
how much work goes

-into having fun.
-Um...

Mayor Fleck is working
on his speech.

Why don't you work on yours, as well?

We'll make City Hall
campaign headquarters

for my two favorite candidates.

-Really? Yay!
-Yeah, well, technically,

City Hall can't provide
resources for...

Unofficially, Mr. Mayor.

This is one of those make
believe things we've discussed.

Oooh. Yes. Of course.

Just when I think
I've seen the limits

of the human imagination...

I can't believe
you had me arrested, boss.

Oh, stop complaining, Hacksaw!

Judge Strictpunish let you off
with a warning.

True, and it was
a pretty good warning.

Don't buy insurance
from a man dressed as a goat.

It's all part of my bigger plan.

To defeat Mary Sinclair
once and for all.

Hmmm.

We really need a new portrait
of Sinclair to deface.

How's that coming, Frankie?

I'm really capturing
her impending defeat

even better than the last one, boss.

Fendrich, you louse!

You said you wanted to meet
to beg for my forgiveness!

I should have known
something was up

when I was asked
to sit completely still

by this easel for three hours!

The Fendrichs have never
defeated the Sinclairs

and they never will!

[gasp]
Boss,

-I didn't finish her sleeve!
-Hmm.

Vito, call Sinclair's office
and set up another meeting.

Tell them I wanna beg her forgiveness

for tricking her into sitting
for a portrait,

and tell 'em she needs to wear
the same clothes.

Genius. Will do, boss.

Now, tomorrow is Fleck's big
speech at the police station.

I want you to steal his speech.

Fleck will make a fool of himself
and I'll be elected mayor!

Then I'll change the law

so everything Sinclair does
is ill*gal, or, better yet,

I will make being Mary Sinclair
a crime!

Uh, boss, can a mayor do that?

Of course not!

I'm not an idiot, Big Betty!

First I have to change the law
so the mayor can do that!

Fleck's speech
is in that briefcase.

We have to get it!

Don't worry.
I got a perfect plan.

Excuse me, ma'am.

I can't help notice
your awful briefcase.

Luckily,
Vito's Briefcase Boutique

has a special promotion

for the person
with the worst briefcase.

We'll give you our new
Speech-Holder 3000 for free.

Just put your smelly,
ugly old case up here.

Wow! That is a cool briefcase.

Made from 98 percent
artificial pleather

and 2 percent unknown.

See how easily
your personal items I'm handling

without your consent fit inside.

That is impressive.
What about my old briefcase?

Don't worry,
a hazmat crew is on their way.

Have a good day!

Thank you so much. You, too!

-Boom. We got the briefcase.
-Ugh.

Okay, Maddy,
you're gonna do great today.

I am so proud of you

whether you're Mayor of Recess
or not.

Thanks, Mommy.

-Wait, two speeches?
-[slurping]

-[police car approaching]
-[gasps]

[yelps, panting]

[screams, groans]

Oh, I've gotta get
to the police station

for the Mayor's speech!

-Wait, Mommy, my speech!
-Right!

[slurping]

Here!
Go show that Tommy Wedgieman

what fun is all about!

[distant chattering]

[gasps]

[laughing]

Security checkpoint.

I'll need to look inside
your briefcase, ma'am.

Oh. Okay.

Making sure the mayor's speech
goes smoothly?

Um... Yes.

I'm checking for ill*gal
fruits and vegetables

to protect crops and livestock
inside the speech-giving area.

-[laughing]
-Thanks again

for getting my defective me doll back,
Grandpa Grizzled!

Good to see you, Duke.

-Um, something Duke would say.
-[laughs]

That is such a Duke thing
to say.

You know I would do anything
for you, Poppy, dear.

-[Poppy] And to all my fans...
-[gasps]

...I am so sick of your messages...

Except run after crooks for a doll.

Officer, I don't have any
agricultural contraband!

You have to go after
those crooks!

But I'm not really...
I mean, I am really... I mean...

Drat!
[panting]

Phew. That was a close one.

Um, um, anytime now Carol,
I need my speech.

What's the matter, Fleck,
cat got your speech?

Sorry for the hold up,
Mr. Mayor.

Here's your speech.
Go show that R.E. Fendrich

what work is all about!

-[gasp]
-[clears throat]

Work, work, work.
That's what we do all day.

Where's the fun in that? What?

[indistinct chattering]

Oh, no. That's Maddy's speech!

What happened
to the Mayor's speech?

If there's one word
that sums up all the joy

and wonder of human existence,
it's "work." Huh?

Ah, we have to work.

They make us work.
That's why we do it. Duh.

But why do we play?
We don't have to play.

Nobody makes us play.
We wanna play!

Our days are a big blob of work,
so the itty-bitty blob

we get to play is the most
important blob of the whole day!

[crowd cheering, applauding]

Fun is fun!

Yes, fun is too important to
make just anyone the boss of it.

Do you really think Tommy
knows how to get the most

-out of play time?
-It's true!

I've never been good at playing!

So remember, a vote for me
is a vote for fun!

[women 1] There's no fun
without you, Mayor.

[cheers, chanting]
Mayor Fleck! Mayor Fleck.

-Hacksaw, what is going on?
-Hang on, boss.

I have to process
and fingerprint these crooks.

I'm gonna make detective for sure!

[grunts]

Luckily, I'm so far ahead
in the polls,

one measly speech
isn't gonna stop me

from winning this election!

The election results are in

and Solomon Fleck
is once again our mayor.

With one masterful speech,
Fleck became the fun candidate,

giving him a landslide victory
over R.E. Fendrich.

-The tycoon's re...
-How could this happen?

Fleck is the fun candidate?

I once saw him turn down
apple juice

because it wasn't party time!

It's an outrage!

I should be mayor
and being Sinclair

-should be ill*gal!
-Ha!

Whether you're mayor or not,

The Fendrichs have never
defeated the Sinclairs

-and they never will!
-[growls]

Shouldn't we make an appearance
at your victory party?

But, that wasn't my speech,
Carol.

I can't celebrate inaccuracy.

And now Maddy's
gonna lose her election

because of my silly mistake.

She'll be crushed.

I won! I'm Mayor of Recess!

Even Tommy Wedgieman
voted for me!

But... How?

Mr. Mayor's speech!
It said I will work harder

than anyone to make sure
everyone has fun!

Thank you for your speech, Mr. Mayor!

And thank you for your horrible
carelessness, Mommy!

-You're welcome?
-Congratulations, Madison.

Unfortunately, now everyone
thinks I'm the fun candidate.

But you are!
For you, work is fun!

Huh. You're right.

It's like your speech said,
people work all day,

which means I spend my whole day
having fun.

Maybe I am the fun candidate,
after all.

Now, how about we all go down
to the ballroom

for our victory party?

Ooh, can I please have
apple juice, Mommy?

-Sure, honey.
-Hmm.

Apple juice, huh?

I think I'll join you. It's party time.

[closing theme music plays]

[opening theme music plays]

[siren blaring]

[horn honks]

[siren blaring]

[tires screech]

-[engine revving]
-[horn blaring]

[Wheeler on radio]
Attention, dudes!

The low down, yet mysteriously
cool bank robber, Snake Rattler,

is heading east on Sixth Avenue!

I got him, chief!
Hang on tight, Cubby!

-[tires screech]
-[grunts]

This money belongs to the bank!

Argh! This dang lawman's always
on me like quills on a cactus!

-[tires screech, crashes]
-[groans]

-[police car approaching]
-[grunts]

The pawn shop, eh?
Time to rattle this snake...

and maybe get a ukulele.

Duke. You change your mind
about the ukulele?

Shifty, where's Snake Rattler?

And I'm on the fence
about the ukulele.

I haven't seen Snake.
I can go down to 15 bucks.

All right, Snake, come out
from behind the counter!

-[sighs]
-Ha!

I knew Snake was close by.

I've never seen you so scared
and nervous, Shifty.

How about 10 bucks
for the ukulele?

-[grunts]
-[clanks]

-[groans]
-[shatters]

Have fun sawin' logs, amigo.

It's the police!
Come out with your hands up!

[sighs]
Time to show these city cops

a little can-do attitude.

But first, I'll send Duke back
to dreamland.

-[opens can]
-[gulping]

Thanks for the drink, mister.

Uh... You're welcome?

What happened? Where am I?
Who am I?

Huh. That noggin bump
musta made you lose your memory.

Do you know who I am?

Yes. You're Dirty Duke,
my low down, thievin' henchman!

I'm a bad guy?
How come I'm dressed like a cop?

Right, ah...
You are a cop, but you gone bad.

I don't really feel "bad"...

Well, you are! The worst!

You stole this money
from the bank!

That's, like, 10 bucks.

So I'm not a very good criminal?

We've got you surrounded.

-Come out!
-Just do as I say

or both of us'll wind up
breakin' rocks in jail!

Got it. Let's go. Yee-hoo!

Yeah, lesson one,
it's "Yee-haw."

I have so much to learn.

Don't worry!
He caught me, the bad guy!

Uh... Yeah!

Great job, Duke!
You're the best!

Yeah and now he's gonna
commandeer this here van

to take me to jail!

Uh... Yes.
I'm a great commandeerer!

-[tires screech]
-Um... What are you doing?

He's gatherin' evidence against me!

Yeah and he's helping.

It's lotta evidence.
I am so busted.

Oh, and he's gonna need you
to cuff yourselves to your cars.

Yeah, you know,
standard procedure.

-Uh.
-[clangs]

[tires screech]

Hey, wait a second!

"Comandeerer" isn't a word!

Duke Detain has gone bad, dudes!

I don't believe it.

I've gone bad!
Look, I'm stealing stuff!

-I'm a criminal!
-[sighs]

Maybe... it's part of a plan?

This is not part of a plan!
I'm really a criminal! Woooo!

I'm sorry,
as difficult as this is,

you've got to arrest Duke.

This doesn't feel right.

A good cop like Duke turning
to crime?

Listen, cops are like
this cottage cheese,

sometimes they just go bad.

You know cottage cheese needs
to be refrigerated, right?

-[stomach rumbles]
-[groan]

-A-T-M? Meet T-N-T!
-What are you doing?

Duke! I'm, uh...
just using this ATM!

Beep-boop-beep-boop!

Oh, good. I thought
you were gonna rob the bank.

The boss told me to rob it.

Snake?
What's going on with Duke?

Lost his memory.

I told him he was my henchman.
Smart play, huh?

No! It's wrong.
Duke is a good guy.

Why so protective, missy?

Sounds like you gone soft... on a cop.

It's gonna backfire on you,
Snake.

Look! I got twice as much cash
as you thought we could get!

-Yee-hee!
-[sighs]

It's "Yee-haw." "Yee-haw."

-[engine revving]
-[police car approaching]

Pull over! Now!

-[siren wails]
-[Grizzled] Well we gave it our best shot.

Now, run 'em off the road!!

-[siren wails]
-[tires screech]

[Rooky] Duke, stop! This isn't you!

-[Grizzled] Eh, that's him.
-[tires screech]

Ahhh. Ain't nothin'
like a stolen money bath.

You did a... fairly decent job
back there, henchman.

Aw, thanks, boss, but all I did
was rob the bank...

By myself...
And help us escape... by myself.

This is Gabby Tocamera
and here's our top story.

A famous artifact will soon be
on display for all to see,

but until the museum can finish
its security upgrades,

the priceless Doublecross Ruby

will be held
in the City Bank vault.

Wow, the Doublecross Ruby
is so beautiful

and foreshadowy, huh, Craig?

Craig!

[scoffs]
As always,

our banter is the soul
of this newscast.

We've gotta steal that ruby!

Whoa, slow down, there,
compadre.

There's a posse out there
looking for us.

We need to lay low.

You wanna hide, go ahead.
I'll get the ruby on my own.

Now don't get too big
for your britches, hoss.

This ain't no one-man job.

Fine, you talked me into it,
we'll both go.

I'll get our bad guy stuff!

-You've gone too far, Snake.
-Daisy?

How'd you break in here?

I'm a highly skilled criminal, duh.

Plus, you left
the front door open.

You've gotta stop messing
with Duke.

Ah, I got it under control.

You can't control Duke Detain.

This has to stop
before it gets out of hand.

Remember your code.

[sighs]
Let's see...

Doop-toodoot-toodoo.

Ah, Article 3, subsection H.

"When a cop loses his memory

and you trick him
into being your henchman,

stop it before it gets
out of hand."

[sighs]
Darn code!

It was like
he didn't even know me.

Yeah, yeah.
I'm on my yogurt break.

You know yogurt also needs
to be refrigerated.

That explains the chronic
stomach ache.

[distorted voice on phone]
I've got information on Duke.

Meet me in the alley at 6th and Main.

Wow, is that your real voice?

No, I'm disguising it so
you can't figure out who I am.

[woman on phone]
Hello? Hello?

[distorted voice]
Mom, I'm on the other line!

[woman] Daisy "Kaboom" Lewis,
get off the phone and finish your chores!

[distorted voice] I just... I need... pff!
Arrgh! I hate living at home!

Stay there, Rooky.
I'll come to you.

Wait, you live across the street
from the police station?

It's really convenient
when I get arrested.

Listen, Duke lost his memory
and Snake convinced him he's a bad guy.

I knew it!

Now, we just have to find a way

to get Duke to remember
who he really is.

Maybe this will help.

-His Dukeness has amnesia?
-Yes! Snake is tricking him.

They're going after
the Doublecross Ruby.

We've gotta take him down.
One way or another.

Wait! What?

I hate to land with Bennett
on this one,

but Duke is way too good
at being bad.

No, we just need to reach him.

-He's still good inside.
-[stomach rumbling]

Ugh, at least someone's insides are good.

You do know you need
to cook chicken right?

Sure, next thing you'll tell me
I have to refrigerate it, too.

-[stomach rumbling]
-Organs... shutting down.

Sorry, Rooky. This may be
our only chance to stop him.

-[Snake] Yikes! That's a lot of law.
-[Duke] We need a distraction.

Aaah, a runaway stagecoach!

We just have to build one,
find some horses and then...

Uh, how about we use a drone?

Not as cool,
but sure, that'll work.

-[beeps]
-[drone whirring]

[laughs, giggles]

Stay focused! These beach ba*ls
are an obvious distraction!

-[laughs, giggles]
-[officer] Over here.

[cranking, clangs]

There it is!
Oh, she sure is pretty!

Snake, before we steal the ruby,

I want you to know
being your henchman is fun.

You're the best.

Gee, I reckon you've become a true amigo.

-[grunts]
-What!

-No, no, no, no, no!
-[door slams]

Just because I can't stop
doesn't mean I'm enjoying this.

Why, you no good traitor!
We got a code!

I don't have a code, Snake!
That's why I'm a better crook!

I don't need you!
You're just dead weight!

So long, Snake! Yee-haaay!

At least I say "Yee-haw"
correctly!

Outta my way, cop!

Duke, you're a cop!
The best cop in the city.

Please!
I was born to be a crook!

Look how good I am at it!

No! Snake lied to you.
You need to snap out of it.

Nice try, but it's gonna to take more

than an identity-forming
childhood memento to stop me.

The easy way
is rarely the best way!

Can't... escape!
Feet... won't let me do crime!

Cubby! I remember everything!

Snake tricked me
into robbing the city!

I'm gonna stuff that cowboy
into his 10-gallon hat!

Sorry, Snake, but I warned you.

It's over, Snake!

Well, well,
look who's all clean again!

[laughing]

Sorry, but you ain't half
as scary as Dirty Duke!

[tires screech]

-[yelps, groans]
-[shatters]

Great job, Duke! Are you okay?

I am now, thanks to you
sticking by me.

You're the real hero, Rooky.

Aw, you would've done
the same for me.

Um, actually, no,
I would've arrested you.

Come on, Snake,
I'm taking you to jail.

They're serving your favorite
tonight, baked beans.

Aw, you remembered.
[laughing]

Get it? "Remember."

Because you lost your memory?

Too soon, Snake.

Too soon.

[closing theme music plays]