Bears on a Ship (2025)

[bunniefuu]

(upbeat music)

(birds chirping)

(dramatic music)

I know I hit it with at

least one of those shots.

I got a dart in it too,

so I'm surprised it's still standing.

All right, I think it

went down that one man.

All right, be careful.

(dramatic music)

(birds chirping)

(dramatic music)

(footsteps crunching)

(dramatic music)

(birds chirping)

(water trickling)

Man, are you sure they gonna pay us

what they said they was gonna pay us?

Of course they're gonna pay us

what they said they was gonna pay us.

We just gotta get to those g*dd*mn bears

before all those other bounty hunters do.

That way we get a bonus.

Can you double check?

I mean, that's a lot of money, man.

Look, I got the whole

conversation recorded, all right.

Lemme see.

I'm gonna play it back for you.

Look at this.

(birds chirping)

Yeah, we should be there by morning.

These bears don't stand a

chance against our team.

And Joe Bear can vouch for us on that.

Ain't that right, Boss?

[Joe Recording] You need

to shut the f*ck up now.

[Hunter Recording] You will pay us

the money we agreed upon, correct?

You bring us the bears,

we will bring the money you asked for.

Very simple.

Always a pleasure doing business.

Don't let us down.

(birds chirping)

sh*t.

Let's go get us some bears, huh.

All right.

Let's split up all right, you go that way.

(dramatic music)

(birds chirping)

I got him.

I don't see him though.

f*cking hell.

(dramatic music)

(birds chirping)

(dramatic music)

(birds chirping)

Come on Betsy.

Right between the lines.

(g*ns firing)

(bear growling)

(g*n c*ck)

(dramatic music)

(birds chirping)

(footsteps crunching)

Oh sh*t.

(Chuck screaming)

(bear growling)

Oh save me.

(Chuck screaming)

(birds chirping)

(Chuck screaming)

(bear growling)

(g*ns firing)

(bear growling)

(g*ns firing)

(footsteps crunching)

(birds chirping)

God damn, Chuck.

What the hell am I supposed

to tell the bowling team now?

(dramatic music)

(bear growling)

(hunter screaming)

(dramatic music)

(waves crashing)

(dramatic music)

(waves crashing)

(dramatic music)

There seems to be no

progress in the negotiations

between the unions and the airlines.

Airports around the world are still closed

with no end in sight.

If you're planning on

traveling this year, don't.

(pilot laughing)

f*ck em.

(upbeat music)

[Room Service] Champagne?

Oh, please.

Oh, could you also check our itinerary

and let us know what time

our flight takes off?

I have a very important hair appointment,

I can't be late for.

You know how it is.

(Missy laughing)

[Room Service] Sure,

I'll check your itinerary

for a taxi and airport.

Thank you.

[Dave] What do you mean

we're down that many points?

We had a terrible day at the office.

It's been dropping.

But you have to be happy

it wasn't worse, right?

No, of course I'm not

happy it wasn't worse.

I go on my honeymoon for one week

and it all goes to hell over there.

We are trying our best.

But will you be in the office tomorrow?

Yes, I'll be in the office, of course.

Sounds like you barely get

sh*t done without me there.

Okay, see you then.

It'll be good to have you back.

God.

Office already?

It'll be fine.

You'll be at your hair appointment, so.

Look at us,

living our busy married lives already.

(both laughing)

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

(glasses clanking)

There's a problem.

There's a strike.

No more flights.

[Dave] Excuse me?

How can there be no flights?

The union approved a strike today.

The last flight left five minutes ago.

You can't be serious.

There has to be

another flight somewhere.

[Room Service] It's a countrywide union.

If their demands are

not met, nobody leaves.

This is complete bullshit.

We can sue this whole airport

you know, we're Americans.

Senora, is there any way

that we can get back to

the States now, ah or a?

Not on an airplane.

My boyfriend works on

a ship with his uncle,

they're leaving the port today

and arriving at the States

tomorrow in the morning.

I can see if they're taking passengers.

That's your best bet.

The office.

My hair.

Call your boyfriend.

Don't worry my friends,

we're gonna get you to

that ship before it leaves.

(car engine revving)

I am the fastest driver in all of Mexico.

(car engine revving)

Hey, I think we have

a little bit of time.

Senor, do you have to drive so fast?

(upbeat music)

(car engine revving)

(upbeat music)

(both speaking in foreign language)

(car engine revving)

(upbeat music)

Hey, what's up, Tio?

How's it going, Juanito?

How you doing, Tio?

Good, good.

- Yeah.

- Good, good to see you.

- Yeah.

How's the prep coming along?

(Carlos speaking in foreign language)

Yeah, we're almost done.

- Almost done?

- Almost done?

You know we sail at 10, right?

Yes, Sir.

The only thing that's left

is the engine room, so.

sh*t, the engine room.

[Juan] Yeah.

Those guy's gonna gimme a heart attack.

- Yeah.

- Let me

take care of that sh*t show.

I'll be back.

- Okay.

(engines humming)

[Carlos] How we doing?

You hear those engines?

Sounds to me like we're doing fine.

Are we gonna be on time?

When have I ever been late, Carlos?

Yeah, yeah, I hear you.

No, no, no, no.

Answer my question.

When have I ever been late, Carlos?

You know I'm the captain of the ship.

Yeah and I'm the chief engineer.

See, without the engine, there is no ship.

See, you may be a captain up there,

but down here, I'm the captain now.

Just make sure we leave on time.

Clean this place up.

It's a mess.

Yeah, you know what?

Make sure the kitchen got enough fajitas

for my men down here.

(engines humming)

All right guys, so

here's the deal, okay.

My tio is offering any stranded passenger

board for 1000 pesos, okay.

You get food, you get everything, okay.

But the thing is, we're leaving now.

So it's up to you.

I'll let you talk, okay.

(birds chirping)

I don't know, pookie, what do you think?

We're here.

We might as well go.

It's only a thousand pesos.

It's like five bucks U.S.

- Yeah.

- Come on.

Here, watch your step.

Oh no, this thing is ancient.

Yeah, I hope this thing

makes it to the U.S.

Have you ever been on

anything like this before?

Nothing without first class service.

(birds chirping)

(Missy groaning)

All right, let's do it,

come on, I'll help you.

The lounge is this way, okay.

(birds chirping)

Come on, you'll be okay.

Let's go.

Don't worry.

(Missy groaning)

(upbeat music)

But where's the elevator?

(upbeat music)

Oh my God, Malcolm, you

gotta get lots of pictures.

- Yes, yes.

- Get that.

(upbeat music)

Oh my goodness, The Little Mermaid.

So nice.

Come over here.

Get one of me

with The Little Mermaid.

- Okay, okay, okay.

(upbeat music)

Cheese.

Beautiful.

Excuse me, Sir.

Do you mind taking a

picture of me and my wife?

(upbeat music)

Thank you.

Thank you.

Come on right here, right here.

(upbeat music)

(camera shutter clicking)

One more, one more.

Please.

(upbeat music)

Let's just do one with silly faces.

Okay.

(upbeat music)

All they had was ham and

turkey so I got you turkey.

You know I don't like ham.

I know, this one is turkey.

Turkey, turkey,

turkey.

Ham for me.

Kate, I got you just Advil and water.

[Kate] Thank you.

The guy who gave me the sandwiches

said that we're supposed to leave at 10.

And it's almost 10 now.

Hope we don't leave late.

Classes start tomorrow.

Do you think we'll make it in time?

Yeah, babe, chill okay.

These things have to run on

time or else they'll be late.

They'll get a bad

(Tucker coughing)

Or else they'll get bad Yelp reviews.

Come on babe, just for a

little bit, play with my beard.

No, I'm not playing with your beard

in front of a bunch of strangers.

Plus I'm still mad at you.

Come on, you weren't mad at

me when we did it last night.

[Preston] Ay.

That was before you

abandoned me at the hotel

to get high with the bellhop.

Babe, I didn't abandon you.

It was a California kush.

I got a little high and

just forgot about you.

(all laughing)

Can you hear yourself?

I feel like I'm gonna spew.

I hate being seasick.

The ship hasn't started moving yet.

Yeah, but it's called

seasickness, not ship sickness.

Man, I can't believe

we're stuck on this boat.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I'd rather be on a plane myself.

But being on a boat has its perks.

Take a look at that blonde over there.

Now, normally I'm not into blondes,

but I like those braids,

man, I like those braids.

This has the crust still on it.

(upbeat music)

Kate, you seriously look awful.

I am awful.

Oh?

I keep warning you not to go

out clubbing until 7:00 a.m.

But do you ever learn or listen?

Do you listen to your brain

when it tells you to mind

your own damn business?

(cellphone vibrating)

(upbeat music)

Hey Kate, listen,

you're such a great person, by the way,

but I found someone else.

You're gonna have to find

yourself a new sugar daddy.

Are you f*cking kidding me?

Over the phone?

Well, there goes my

textbooks next semester.

(upbeat music)

f*cking Tesla drivers.

Thank you.

Keep it down.

I think people are starting to stare.

And honestly, he was so nerdy,

probably doing you a favor.

(Kate sighing)

(cellphone vibrating)

Hey Katie,

I know we've had our fun and everything,

but I think after some of your crazy snaps

and stories from last

night, that it's better

that we end our arrangement.

I'm sure that you'll have

no trouble finding another,

how do you say it, sugar daddy.

(Kate sighing)

m*therf*cker.

Another one.

Don't judge me, I live in California.

All right guys, come in this way.

Welcome.

Okay, see that guy.

Don't look, don't make eye

contact with him, okay.

All right, that's pretty much it.

Guys, we are short on life vests,

but if you want one, I can

guarantee 5,000 pesos, okay.

All right.

See you guys.

Thanks.

Look at these vatos.

Fancy.

Baby, these people are weird.

Just don't make eye contact.

Probably start begging

for money or something.

Yeah, they look like millionaires.

Some people have all the luck.

Then there's me.

You're doing amazing, sweetie.

Don't Kris Jenner me.

I love my bears.

I don't lock them bears up though.

Those bears are my friends.

I invite families over, friends.

And sometimes we open

up like a petting zoo

and everybody loves them bears.

You can't just lock up bears.

They're the mother's creatures.

They deserve to live in the wild

and be free with all creation.

Once you catch 'em bears,

you gotta put 'em in cages, you gotta.

Aren't you gonna say something?

Right on, brother.

No.

Not righteous brother.

Oh.

Sometimes, Bob, I really

don't understand you.

Headache?

No, these are placenta pills.

I'm a level 10 vegan and

this is how I get my protein.

Placenta pills?

What the hell is placenta pills?

Yeah, they're only available

like in Mexico and Belgium.

Eh, that's gross.

You're gross.

Can I try one?

The captain is so pissed right now.

The engine guys, they're gonna get it.

Shut up, Chris, I'm not your friend.

(engines humming)

Hey, Boss,

why's everyone else get

to work up on the deck,

while all the blacks gotta

work in the engine room?

Wait, hold on man, you a brother too?

Man, I thought you was a white boy

with a bunch of engine

grease on your face.

(both laughing)

Hey, it's 10, we're

supposed to be leaving.

I thought you were never late.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear

you, I hear you, all right.

Look, just gimme five more minutes.

I thought you were never late.

I'm not late.

Now gimme five more minutes.

This guy.

This guy.

(dramatic music)

(Missy gasping)

Oh, oh.

Oh no, baby.

This is the worst thing I've ever seen.

Yeah, you're not kidding.

Ew.

Well, it's gonna have to do.

(Missy moaning)

(cellphone vibrating)

Sir.

David, I just heard what happened today.

I'm on my way back now, Sir.

I'm gonna take everything,

take care of everything tomorrow,

I got a plan in place,

I'm gonna implement.

It's gonna be

I'm very disappointed, David.

And me being disappointed

is not good for you.

I know, I know.

If you knew anything,

I would not be making this phone call.

Now get all of this taken care of.

Or else you'll be spending

the rest of your days

scraping rust off iron.

(cellphone beeping)

This is my life.

Come on babe, we've got no choice.

Why does it look like it has gonorrhea?

[Malcolm] Oh my God.

Wow.

Yo, is this not the coolest

thing you've ever seen?

I love it.

Make sure you're getting

a lot of pictures.

Oh, you're right.

Oh my goodness.

(upbeat music)

This is beautiful.

- Baby.

(both laughing)

Nice.

- Yes.

- Nice.

Perfect for an ending.

Oh, hold on.

It's Huey.

Hey bruh.

Sis.

Sis.

Can you see me?

You got connection?

What?

I can't hear you.

You got connection?

Hey Huey.

Hey, what time you need me

to pick you up from the airport?

Our flight got canceled.

You didn't check your messages?

What?

Our flight got canceled.

Sis?

We're on a ship.

[Huey] What, a ship?

We're on a ship sailing

back to the States.

- Selling black pickle cakes?

- Hello?

(cellphone beeping)

He'll call back.

Babe, how the hell did you pack this?

I mean, I can't find my lucky bracelet.

I'm gonna help you find it

as soon as I'm finished with this, okay.

Hello students.

I hope everybody had a

wonderful Spring Break.

Make sure everyone is in class tomorrow.

This will not be online.

Zoom mess or whatever.

8 a.m sharp, please.

I'm so nervous.

I really hope we'll make it on time.

Maybe going to Mexico wasn't a good idea.

If you went outta state on vacation,

that was definitely a bad idea.

Come on.

Listen, Jazz, I think we need to talk.

Come on babe.

You're not gonna turn me down again.

Are you really trying to seduce me?

It sucks.

Really?

You know, if you don't wanna do anything,

I might have to go find some weed.

I'm not changing my mind.

But.

Go, leave.

(footsteps crunching)

Oh my God.

Did you see Stacey and

Smokey fighting last night?

They're a mess.

No, but I heard Jasmine

and Preston fighting.

(both laughing)

Why?

He is so cute.

They need to get their

life together, I swear.

What are you looking at?

Bro, TikTok has me

on baby tok right now,

and-

Okay, you need to slow down.

What are you on?

Something else, why?

Are you on the apps right now?

Listen.

(both laughing)

Why are you on the apps?

You just hooked up with

the bartender last night.

All I will say is muy

caliente and gracias daddy.

Ew.

That's r*cist.

- Oh,

I love Mexico.

(both laughing)

I love Mexico.

(upbeat music)

Can you believe that guy?

His vibes were just so negative.

Those bears deserve to be free.

Nature is freedom.

I agree babe.

(gentle music)

I need to cleanse my chakras.

Mota?

I don't have any.

I bet those teenagers

got some weed downstairs.

Lemme go check.

(footsteps crunching)

Ugh, I just really need to

express positive energies.

(gentle guitar music)

Love, love, love

(gentle guitar music)

Bears, bears, bears

(gentle guitar music)

Love, love, love

(gentle guitar music)

Bears, bears

Bears

(upbeat music)

Hey Smokey.

What's going on buddy?

I miss you already.

Oh, I wanted to tell you,

if you haven't gone through

airport security yet,

be careful, 'cause I put

a little bag in your bag.

All right, just a little bit.

It's good sh*t though.

All right, but I wouldn't

go anywhere near it

until you get home.

But come back to Mexico soon.

Miss you buddy.

Ooh, look at the butt on that.

I'm outta here.

See you bud.

(upbeat music)

Smoke?

Smoke?

Smoke?

Smoke?

Smoke.

What do you mean you

want to break up with me?

I just feel like we're

two different people.

Since when?

f*ck, I don't know, forever.

Well, that's news to me.

All I'm saying is I'm trying

to find my lucky bracelet

and you're over there doing school emails.

Look, we're two different people.

We should just see other people.

Is there someone else?

No, there's no one else.

It's just that you're boring as sh*t.

Excuse me, I'm boring?

All you talk about is school

and reading and emails and essays.

I want a girl that's gonna party.

I want a girl that'll let

me go wild on that a*s.

Sniff cocaine off that a*s.

I paid for you to come on this trip

and I do everything for you, everything.

And I never say anything

because I love you.

And now you're dumping me

because I want to finish school

and educate myself.

Well yeah, that's sh*t's boring.

Get the f*ck out.

- No, this.

- Get out.

This is my room too.

[Jasmine] Get out.

(Jasmine speaking in foreign language)

Hey man, why do they call you Joe Bear?

What do you think?

'Cause I love bears man.

Oh, that's awesome.

Why do they call you Smokey?

'Cause I love smoking, man.

(Smokey laughing)

Oh.

Why do they call you Bob?

Bob.

(fingers snapping)

Why do they call you Bob?

'Cause I f*cking I love Bob, man.

(Smokey laughing)

That was intense.

[Smokey] You all right man?

Yeah, I'm good man.

I'm just chilling.

[Joe] I think he needs a double.

[Smokey] Here, you want some more?

No man, I'm really, I'm good.

(dramatic music)

(bear growling)

I bet if let this bear out,

the hippy lady would suck my ba*ls.

(Smokey laughing)

(dramatic music)

(wrench clanking)

(dramatic music)

sh*t.

(dramatic music)

(Smokey screaming)

My bears.

(Smokey screaming)

(dramatic music)

Did you hear that?

There's something attacking

people upper deck.

(dramatic music)

(crew screaming)

(dramatic music)

sh*t, oh my God.

Shh, shh, shut up man.

Stop screaming, stop screaming.

- James dead man, is dead man.

- f*ck, f*ck, sh*t.

I ain't gonna do it like this.

(dramatic music)

(door hinge creaking)

Did y'all hear that?

Yeah.

What do you think that was?

What the hell is that?

I have no idea.

Hey Matt, you there?

[Matt] Yeah, I'm here.

You see anything yet?

[Matt] I haven't found anything.

(dramatic music)

Yeah, I don't know

what those screams are,

but I'm not liking it.

[Matt] Who knows?

It's probably just some

prankster passengers.

Yeah, you're probably right.

[Matt] Wait, I see something.

Well, what is it, what do you see?

[Matt] I don't know.

It kinda looks like.

Oh sh*t! Help me, I'm big

eaten alive. It's eating me!

Oh God.

Oh, it hurts.

Matt, what is it?

Matt, Matt.

f*ck.

Get in your rooms, now.

(dramatic music)

There is definitely

something going on here.

Come on babe, we can't stay here.

What is it?

No idea.

Just grab your things and let's go.

(dramatic music)

Let's go.

(dramatic music)

(bear growling)

(dramatic music)

[Tommy] Excuse me, Miss,

Get to the state room, it's not safe here.

(bear growling)

(victim screaming)

You hear that?

Yeah.

What is that?

I'm gonna go see what's

going on, on my damn ship.

Keep us on course while I'm gone.

Okay, all right.

Careful uncle.

All right, let's see.

(telephone ringing)

Hello.

Briggs, you there?

Yeah, it's me.

Juan, what the hell's going on up there?

We got tigers on this boat?

(bear growling)

sh*t.

(people chattering)

Is that a m*therf*cking bear?

What the hell is that doing on this ship?

I don't wanna die like this.

The f*ck.

No.

- No.

- No.

(all screaming)

(bear growling)

(all screaming)

Good news today, the

unions and the airlines

have reached an agreement,

effectively ending the strike.

Airports are open, planes are boarding,

people are excited to be flying again.

(upbeat music)

(waves crashing)

Yeah, still f*ck em.

(footsteps crunching)

Kate, have you seen Preston?

I thought he was with you.

No, we got into this really big fight

and I pushed him away.

Have you seen him?

No, I haven't.

I'm sure he is okay though.

I mean with his lucky

bracelet, he's always okay.

(upbeat music)

(body thudding)

(dramatic music)

(bear growling)

(Preston screaming)

Preston!

What are you doing?

We have to help him.

Jasmine, he's gone.

Jasmine, you can't go out there.

Listen, I don't know what's going on.

But We gotta come up with

something quick, okay.

(Jasmine crying)

You mean to tell me you

brought a live bear on this ship

and it's just running

around outta control?

Sure the hell sounds like it.

- Jesus Christ.

- Bears?

Like live, full grown,

man-eating f*cking bears.

Oh no, I didn't see

this in the brochure.

Right.

These are highly dangerous bears.

These bears are my friends.

These bears are my family.

Okay, this is completely

different than the bear cruise,

I went on last year.

What?

What?

You're f*cking sick, man.

(dramatic music)

All right, I found a few of my men

eaten alive on the ship.

Who wants to tell me what's going on?

Sounds to me like someone

let the g*dd*mn bears

outta the cage.

(dramatic music)

Have you got more of

those g*ns on this ship?

What are we supposed to do about bears?

You can protect us, right?

Oh, I've got g*ns.

Me too.

Now wait just a g*dd*mn minute.

These are some of the most

ferocious, rare bears,

anywhere in the world.

They k*lled two of my men

when we were trying to capture 'em,

two of my men.

(dramatic music)

Those bears facing

your men and facing me

are two completely different things.

Yeah, and why is that?

'Cause I'm Mexican.

(g*n c*ck)

Oh.

(dramatic music)

No one told me these

bears wanted Mexican food!

(Carlos screaming)

Great.

Now what are we gonna do?

You ever handle firearms?

[Joe] Now wait just a damn minute.

Wait for what, those bears to eat us?

Them bears is rare bears

from the Mexican jungle.

God damn you, you inbred son of a b*tch.

Mexican jungle bears?

(Joe groaning)

There's gotta be a way

to subdue those bears

without k*lling 'em.

Bears are not controllable.

We're not talking about puppies here.

You ain't gonna hurt my bears.

How many bears are on this ship?

Just two.

Well, that's two too many.

Have you seen Smokey?

Is he here yet?

Do you think it was him?

Well, I don't think it was not him.

(cellphone ringing)

Oh, thank God.

Are you back?

Where do I pick you up?

Huey, listen, bears

are attacking our ship.

What?

Bears are attacking our ship.

Bears are attacking your ship?

Yes.

And we need help.

What in the wide, wide world of sports

is going on over there?

I don't know.

Call the Coast Guard.

Hello.

Hello.

Well what do we do now?

We arm ourselves.

We find the safe room on

the ship and wait there.

There's too many doors

around here to guard.

Now wait a minute,

I'm gonna get my tranqs

and I'm gonna take care of it myself.

Take care of it myself.

Your tranqs will just piss 'em off.

We'll be dead before they take effect.

You ain't gonna k*ll my bears.

Ain't gonna k*ll 'em.

Hey, hey, hey, has anyone seen my woman?

Nancy.

Nancy.

Nancy.

(dramatic music)

Hey, don't, don't go.

The hippie lady?

What the hell, he just left us.

He's gonna die out there.

He's already dead.

(dramatic music)

Excuse me.

I saw you have g*ns.

Can you help me find my boyfriend?

I know what we heard,

but it could have been

someone else, right.

Oh sh*t.

- All right.

Put the g*n away.

Nobody move.

Calm down.

Or else Goldilocks gets it.

She's not even blonde you f*cking idiot.

It's not my fault.

Nobody's gonna be

hurting my bears, nobody.

Nobody.

Take your f*cking hands.

(Jasmine screaming)

(g*n firing)

That wasn't my fault.

- You f*cking sh*t.

- Wasn't my fault.

You f*cking b*stard.

Someone save her.

(Tucker crying)

I'm sorry, sorry.

- No, no, no, no, no.

- I'm sorry.

What the f*ck.

This is so dumb.

Hey, listen to me, Tucker,

you're gonna be fine, okay.

Your mom is gonna be so f*cking pissed

if you come home dead, okay.

How is he?

- Stop.

- He's gonna

die from blood loss if I

don't close this wound quick.

Is there anything here we can use?

Why aren't you doing anything?

I can't do anything.

I'm putting pressure, I'm

trying to stop the bleeding.

But unless I can sew this up,

my bag is in my cabin.

What's the plan?

All right,

everybody take a g*n.

First we go get the bag,

then we go get the girl.

If we run across any

bears, we sh**t to k*ll.

A g*n?

Baby, you've never used

a g*n in your life.

Remember all those hunt in trips

with daddy you flaked out on

to go golfing instead?

It's easy.

Just point and pull that trigger.

Right.

Can I talk to you?

What is it?

What are you doing?

What else can I do?

We are not bear hunting,

save the damsel in

distress kind of people.

Right, we're the ones

that get eaten first.

It's not safe, please, you can't do this.

This Jake guy looks like he

knows what he's talking about.

Okay, I trust him to keep us alive.

And if that means listening

to what he needs me to do,

then that's what I'm gonna do.

What if you get hurt

out there, all right,

I'm just supposed to sit around

not knowing if you're

gonna come back or not?

Jake, you got another g*n for my wife?

A g*n?

Here you go ma'am.

Safety's off.

Same instructions as I gave them.

No, thank you.

I've never used a g*n before.

Got it?

All right.

Keep your eyes open, Tucker.

No, don't close your eyes.

Keep your eyes on me,

Tucker, keep your eyes open.

Look, okay, you stay

here, handle things, okay.

You need to keep them safe.

Look at them, they need you.

Look, you just stay here while we go out

and hunt these monsters

and rescue the girl.

How am I supposed to help?

I don't know what to do.

Hey, hey, look at me.

We will be back in a moment, okay.

Please, I can't do this without you.

Stay with me, Tucker.

Keep your eyes open.

(gentle music)

Gosh, damn it Smokey, why

haven't you texted me back?

Hi, what's your name?

Stacy.

Hi, Stacey.

I'm Melissa, Missy.

Listen, do you think you can help me

move some of these chairs

in front of the door

so nothing big, hairy

and angry gets through?

Sure.

You must be worried about

your friend over there.

Yeah.

Well, all our bravest men

went out to get supplies,

so I'm sure he'll be okay.

I'm worried about my boyfriend too.

He hasn't shown up yet.

I'm sure he's okay too.

Come on, bears, come with me.

Come on, it's gonna be all right.

Yes, just keep coming, keep coming.

I'm gonna take you to freedom.

You can be free with your

brothers and sisters.

It's going to be so wonderful

and I'm going to help you.

You can trust me.

No more of that mean man.

That mean man just

locking you up the cages

and showing you to all those children.

I'm going to take care of you

and I'm going to take you to the wild

with your brothers and sisters.

Oh, it's going to be so wonderful.

Come on my babies.

Come on babies.

It's going to be okay.

Everything's going to be wonderful

now that mama's taking care of you.

Yes, just a little bit further.

It's not safe for you down here.

Keep coming, keep coming.

Yes, we're almost there.

Come on, just a little bit closer.

Yes.

(dramatic music)

(bear growling)

Everything's going to be

so wonderful from now on.

Just you and me

(Nancy screaming)

Preston.

(gentle music)

[Man] We can't just stay

in here all night, man.

Yeah, no, I agree.

How you think we running?

(man groaning)

We're good.

We're good?

All right, all right.

Let's just focus on that, right.

Hey, if they need us right, they'll call.

What you talking about, if they need us?

We're the heart of the ship.

If the engine ain't going,

we ain't going nowhere.

I know.

I don't hear no phone ringing.

So they don't need us, right.

[Man] Man 'cause they dead.

You saw what that bear did to James.

Oh damn, maybe they just left.

Just left?

Part of James is outside that door.

All right, I got an idea.

Here, you go check.

Yeah, I go out there and get k*lled.

You go check, man.

- sh*t.

All right.

- Mr. engine chief.

All right, all right,

All right, let's stay

here two more minutes,

I'll call Juan.

Oh sh*t.

(Malcolm panting)

Here, take this.

(dramatic music)

How are you holding up?

I'm holding.

You?

Oh, I'm on a paradise cruise.

What's there to complain about?

I hear that.

How's the Missy doing?

She's worried.

I'm sure she'll be safe up there.

Are you married?

Well I was.

That was a long time ago.

I even had a son.

But he passed away when

he was really young.

Damn.

Sorry to hear that.

Thanks.

(dramatic music)

- Help please.

- There he is.

Let's go.

Jake.

Jake, wait.

(dramatic music)

Malcolm, come on.

(dramatic music)

Hey, I found it.

(Missy sighing)

(wind gushing)

Sit down.

[Buyer] To what do I

owe the pleasure again?

So do you need both bears

alive or do you need just one?

Bring me both of the bears alive

or you will be the one who dies.

(Joe groaning)

(dramatic music)

(Kate crying)

I'm sorry.

He's gone.

Tucker, wake up Tucker, wake up.

Wake up please, wake up.

Tucker.

(Kate crying)

I'm sorry

I'm sorry.

- Don't touch me.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Don't touch me.

(Kate crying)

Oh my God, Tucker.

Oh my God.

(Stacey crying)

(dramatic music)

(bear growling)

(Stacey screaming)

(bear growling)

(Missy screaming)

(dramatic music)

(bear growling)

(all screaming)

(bear growling)

(dramatic music)

[Bob] They ate my vieja.

(Bob speaking in foreign language)

Hey, hey, hey, did

you see where Jake went?

She was my everything.

We don't have time for this.

My wife needs her bag.

Stop.

Oh sh*t.

(bear growling)

Don't move.

What do I do?

Don't move.

The safety is on.

sh*t.

sh*t.

Pick it up, pick it up.

(Missy screaming)

(g*n firing)

(Missy crying)

Oh no.

(dramatic music)

(Missy crying)

(dramatic music)

(bear growling)

(g*n firing)

(dramatic music)

Where's yours at?

It's with my wife.

You gave it to your wife?

I mean, Jake gave one to yours,

so I thought mine should have one too.

sh*t.

Come on.

sh**t.

(g*n firing)

(bear growling)

(g*n firing)

(dramatic music)

f*ck.

f*ck.

(dramatic music)

(both screaming)

(dramatic music)

Hold it right there, action hero.

Let the girl go.

This is between you and me.

Them's my bears.

You don't understand, they

could be worth millions.

I don't care.

Please help me.

(Jasmine screaming)

(both groaning)

(telephone ringing)

Hello.

Juan.

Give us some good news, man.

What's the situation out there?

We getting any help?

Well, where's that damn uncle of yours?

Well, we need a captain.

Hello.

sh*t.

What we gonna do man?

All right.

Listen, you stay here, okay.

I trust you with my baby.

What?

I gotta gotta go out

there and find Carlos.

With yogi and boo boo out there?

You see what they did to James?

Hey look man,

I'm gonna take my a*s out in that hallway.

You hear me screaming at all,

you let my black a*s back in.

You a g*dd*mn lie,

I'm not letting you back in.

It be your own people.

What?

I got you this damn job,

man, you gonna do me like that?

Yeah man, I'll let you in.

All right man, don't lock that door.

(tools clanking)

(dramatic music)

Coast Guard, Coast Guard,

we have an emergency.

Is anyone there?

Coast Guard, over.

[Coast Guard] Roger.

This is the Coast Guard vessel 1229.

What's your location, over?

Oh, thank God, thank God.

Listen, we have an emergency here.

We have bears eating

people alive here, okay.

Please send help.

The location.

- What's your emergency?

The location.

The location, okay.

The emergency, I repeat,

we have bears eating people alive,

for crying out loud all right.

The location 36 degrees,

we're traveling 23 nautical knots.

I'm freaking out here, man.

I don't really know where

I'm at here, but, hold on.

(dramatic music)

Okay.

Listen to what I'm f*cking

telling you, please, okay,

listen to what I'm telling you, okay.

We have bears eating people alive, okay.

We are 36 degrees north

off the Mexican waters,

we're traveling 23 nautical miles okay.

We're going five knots, all right,

so just f*cking find us for

crying out loud, all right.

I don't know what else to do here.

Please send help, over.

Did you get my message?

Say something, for crying out loud.

This is not a joke.

(coast guard laughing)

Are you f*cking with us?

What the f*ck?

No, I'm not f*cking with you.

Get your a*s over here,

for crying out loud.

God damn it.

(dramatic music)

(bear growling)

(dramatic music)

(bear growling)

(dramatic music)

(Juan screaming)

(dramatic music)

Uncle.

Tio, tio, tio, tio, tio, tio, tio, tio.

(dramatic music)

(bear growling)

(dramatic music)

(g*n firing)

(dramatic music)

(Juanito groaning)

Briggs.

(telephone ringing)

(dramatic music)

(telephone ringing)

(dramatic music)

Briggs.

Oh come on.

(dramatic music)

(g*n c*ck)

Oh f*ck.

(dramatic music)

Carlos.

What the f*ck?

Oh God.

Oh God.

(dramatic music)

(Briggs crying)

(dramatic music)

(Briggs panting)

(dramatic music)

(footsteps crunching)

Oh.

- f*cking sh*t.

- It's me.

I almost shot you bro.

All right.

Holy sh*t, man, you all right?

Oh, it got me, bro.

Look at this sh*t, oh.

Oh sh*t.

I got him, I shot him.

Is it dead?

I don't know, man.

I heard hell a g*nshots

and I think one of the passengers got it.

f*ck.

Where's my uncle, my uncle okay?

f*ck, I'm sorry man,

he's gone, he's gone.

Oh f*ck, uncle.

It was too late by the

time I got there, man.

Hey, that makes you the

captain of this vessel now.

No, no, no, no, no.

f*ck this.

I ain't,

this is all yours, bro,

I ain't never getting on

this sh*t ever again, dog.

Oh, f*ck.

(dramatic music)

Just stay still.

[Captain Jackson]

Aurora, Aurora, Aurora,

this is Naval Captain Jackson.

We're sending a cruiser to

your last signaled location.

All right.

All right, that's what I'm talking about.

[Captain Jackson] ETA 10 out.

Talk to me, brother.

Hey, we going home, man.

Yes.

Woo hoo.

I see you soon, bro.

Yes.

(gentle music)

(ship engine revving)

(dramatic music)

Those bears are worth a

lot of money, I swear it.

Stay down, you m*rder*r.

I've heard all I'm gonna hear.

(dramatic music)

Oh God.

(dramatic music)

(Jake screaming)

You're a coward.

(dramatic music)

(Joe screaming)

(dramatic music)

(bear growling)

(dramatic music)

(g*n firing)

(dramatic music)

(g*n firing)

(dramatic music)

[Dave] f*ck you.

(water splashing)

Should we go check that out?

Hell no.

No, no, no, no.

Man, you saved, you saved us.

Yeah, you did good, you did good.

Kit, where's the f*cking kit.

Hey, hey, stay with me, stay.

[Jake] I see the rain.

I tried, man.

What?

[Jake] I see the rain.

No, no, no, don't leave us now.

Don't leave us now, there's one more bear.

I'm tired of these m*therf*cking bears

on this m*therf*cking ship.

(all panting)

(gentle music)

Stacey, you're all eaten.

(Missy crying)

(gentle music)

I couldn't save her.

(gentle music)

In all my years working

as a nurse in Oakland,

I've learned you can try hard as you can,

but you can't save 'em all.

(gentle music)

You saved me.

(gentle music)

Then don't waste the

gift that life gave you.

(gentle music)

I gotta go find my husband.

You coming?

(footsteps crunching)

[Kate] Jazz.

Kate.

Malcolm.

(all laughing)

Are you okay?

- Are you okay?

- Okay.

(gentle music)

Tucker's dead.

I wasn't able to save him.

(gentle music)

We weren't able to save Jake

either, but we k*lled a bear.

Us too.

Thank you for keeping her safe.

[Nurse] Are you kidding me?

You should have seen her the

way she grabbed that chair

and started wailing on it.

(Jazz laughing)

Still though, thank you.

You're welcome.

(gentle music)

Where's my wife?

My wife?

Oh, your wife is still

in the lounge, safe.

(gentle music)

What a day.

God damn it.

(gentle music)

sh*t.

Oh sh*t.

[Juan] Oh yes.

Oh yes.

f*ck yeah, bro, we outta here.

[Juan] Yes.

We outta here, man.

(gentle music)

Missy.

Missy.

Oh Dave.

(Missy crying)

I so sorry.

Are you okay?

(Missy crying)

Baby, let's never go back to Mexico.

Never.

(Missy crying)

(upbeat music)

(waves crashing)

(upbeat music)

(people chattering)

(dramatic music)

(waves lapping)

- Perfect.

- This is a perfect spot.

(waves lapping)

This is such a beautiful beach.

I really needed the vitamin D.

Yes, I think we just needed

a break from everything.

It's been a hectic week.

Definitely.

It's so gorgeous here.

Like the views are amazing.

And it's pretty quiet too.

Yeah, definitely.

Mi Amor.

[Man] Que?

What's that?

(man speaking in foreign language)

(dramatic music)

(waves lapping)

(dramatic music)

(waves lapping)

(dramatic music)

(waves lapping)

(dramatic music)

(bear growling)

(woman screaming)

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

(upbeat music)

The funny thing about your love

None compares

(upbeat music)

I want to keep you here for myself

No I won't share

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

It's never been about the money

Always been about your time

You can have all my honey

As long as you're mine

(singing in foreign language)

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

I wanna be here with you

Sick and tired of the clowns

(upbeat music)

I wanna spend forever with you

Wanna have your kind

(singing in foreign language)

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

(upbeat music)

I see you sucking me

Baby you've been on the prowl

Your loving trapped me up inside

And makes a girl wanna cry

(singing in foreign language)

I just can't bear it

Can't bear it

(singing in foreign language)

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

Wanna stay in your love

Oh

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

Wanna have you to myself

(upbeat music)

Nobody else

(singing in foreign language)

(gentle music)

Ooh, ooh, ooh

(singing in foreign language)

(upbeat music)