05x12 - The Lie Detector Test

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

both: Welcome to "The Meatball Show."

- Step aside, Oprah, because the "Meatball"--

- Get out of the way, b*tch.

- You know I love you. I think you're funny.

You make me laugh all the time.

- Did they have sex? I'm estimating no.

- Mike won't shut up.

He will not sleep until he gets to the bottom of this.

Here's what we do, a lie detector test.

- Stop it. - Yeah.

I'm leaving. I have a gig.

So this is gonna be a good prank on Mike,

and we are out of here.

[laughs]

- Look at that. Honey. - What?

- We got a situation.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Game ice cold, warmer at the North Pole ♪

- ♪ Money ain't a thing so much ♪

- Hi. - Stop. I love the hat.

How cute, right? - Greyson, grab your sandals.

Let's go. - Strollers are here.

- Let's go.

- Yes, you're hanging out with your daddy today.

all: Family day.

- Hi, guys. Look at what they got.

- Ooh, CJ, you wanna paint a coconut?

Ooh.

Put a big face on that,

smiley face.

Do you wanna hit golf ba*ls?

- Oh, my God. - You missed it.

- Oh, damn. - Two, three!

- Whoa. - [chuckles]

- How's Chris doing this? - Oh, my God.

- Yeah. - Nice.

- It's a lot skinnier than a bat.

- All right, we're gonna show you guys how it's done.

- Wish Mommy luck. - All right.

We're gonna put on a show.

Me and Nicole decide, "Let's do a little meatball show."

How did you get these on so quickly?

- I don't know. I work here, I guess.

- This will be, like, our second episode.

We'll put on a good show.

- Oh, [bleep]. b*tch!

Give some entertainment. It's gonna be great.

both: Are you ready for the meatballs?

all: Yay!

both: Welcome to "The Meatball Show."

- I'm Nicole, and I'm your hot mess mama

that likes to drink wine.

And I don't know what's happening.

- I don't even know what we're doing.

I'm Deena.

I'm ball full of fun, a blast in a glass.

We got the tea.

Oh, my God.

- I'm embarrassed.

- You drop more wine than you drink.

- When I talk, I like to talk.

- b*tch, my drink?

- More.

- Are you kidding me, b*tch?

[bell dings]

- What the hell is this?

- I'm peeing. I'm peeing.

- I don't know what's happening.

- What--what are they doing? I'm thinking this is a race

right now, and they're gonna start running.

- Is this a race?

- We're performing for "The Meatball Show."

- Oh, God. They're just skipping.

Where the [bleep] are these two frolicking to?

I don't--I mean...

- And why-- why is she a c*ck?

- CJ, look away. - I want someone to fall.

This is not entertaining.

I mean, what is happening?

[laughs]

This is like a terrible comedy show.

- They hate it.

- I want those ten seconds of my life back.

- Thank you for stopping by.

- Are you not entertained?

- I want you to go around and pee.

- Okay, see you later. Whoo.

- Oh, my.

- Chris, want to race me? - I'll race you.

- All right. - Yes.

- I'm about to go hard. I hope you all know that.

- All the guys are gonna put on flippers

for a nice race down the beach. - Stop it.

- All right, let's do it. - Oh, they look so fabulous.

- You really gotta walk like this in these things.

- You got this, babe. You got this.

- Traversing the globe on an endless quest

to bring you

the absolute greatest of cutthroat sporting events.

- Let's go! - Oh, yeah!

- The triumph of victory.

- Guido champions! Guido champions!

- The humiliation of defeat.

- Hell yeah!

- The athletic theater of raw competition.

This MTV's "Wide World of Guido Sports."

[cheers and applause]

[dramatic music]

- Do some high knees over here.

- Yeah. - What is that?

- You guys are in trouble. - Still got it, D.

- You got this, baby. Look at my husband.

- Yo, karaoke between the trees, man.

- Zack's practicing.

- Let's go, I'm ready. I'm not losing. Let's go.

- Today's competition, we have flip flop champion

of the world. Come on, baby.

- My name is Chris.

[dramatic music]

And whether it's in the bed or on the racetrack

I always finish first.

- Your mom's here. - Sorry, Mom.

- Um, and that's not a good thing.

- Goodness gracious.

The Confrontation is in the building.

The Confrontation is doing whatever it takes

for a victory. That's right.

Today I'm gonna be bitter, I'm gonna be salty,

and I'm definitely not gonna be playing fair.

You don't want none of this.

- Yeah, that was, like, an alter ego.

-HI. How are you? My name is Vinny.

[dramatic music]

I thought this was also gonna be a party for me.

- Oh, my God.

- But we're apparently just racing in flip-flops gear.

- This is Chris, and I'm calling for Zack Clayton.

This ain't the ring, baby. You can't beat me in a race.

I used to run track in high school, baby.

- Listen, Zack Clayton's telling you right now

I'm gonna show these boys right here

what it's like to compete with a real athlete.

Vinny's not getting his party.

Chris Buckner's gonna finish last.

The Situation's gonna find out

what it's like to not have a quote.

[together] Ohh.

- And I don't care if you ran track in high school.

I'm gonna show you these flippers.

I'm gonna shove them up your a*s.

And we're gonna get it going right now.

- The water is the finish line. You will go straight down here.

Ready? On your mark, get set, go!

- Come on!

- Come on, honey. Come on!

Whoo! - Yes!

- Go, Chris.

- Whoa, Chris. - Ahh!

- Holy [bleep].

He's like Sonic the Hedgehog.

He's like...

I'm like, "What the [bleep]?"

- Whoa! - Go, Chris! Whoa!

- I mean, it's like he had sneakers on.

- Whoo! - Yes!

- Oh, my God.

- As I'm flippering down the beach I'm like,

"First of all, what has my life come to?

What are we doing here?"

- Oh, my God, look at Vinny. - I am dead last,

and these guys are, like, going to the death.

- Go, Chris! Whoa, Chris!

- Oh, my God.

- Yeah!

Team Buckner!

Whoo!

The meatball won.

- That was the dumbest race I've ever seen in my life.

- Zack ran, actually, the wrong way.

- Oh, my God. Yeah!

- I can't. Oh, my God.

- That wasn't even a contest.

- Congrats, Chris.

Zack talks a lot of [bleep] for losing.

- So Uncle Pauly left your daddy a little note.

"Hey, Mike. I booked a lie detector.

He's on the way."

- "He knows to ask for you, The Investigation.

Good luck. Your boy, Pauly D."

- We got a situation. I know this is the last night.

I know there's--the vibes have been great.

But at the end of the day, I can't besmirch Pauly D.

I have to execute this just right.

- How do you put a positive spin on a lie detector?

I can only imagine their response

when they see a lie detector,

so I'm just gonna sit this one out,

act observational... - Okay.

- And that's all.

- Well, here's the thing. This is a fun activity.

- And listen-- - Why is every--why would

everyone think of it as a negative activity?

- Because it's a lie detector.

Traditionally you get a lie detector

to prove someone's guiltiness, not innocence, usually.

I love my husband, but it's just, like,

"Dude, like, do you not see this coming?"

[laughs]

- No one has anything to hide here.

- Um, I hope not.

Let's just not ask what can go wrong on this one.

Good luck, honey. - You ready for this?

- I'm down. - Let's go.

Somebody left a note.

- What the hell?

- I'm a little bit worried

about the b*mb we left them with.

- Oh, man. - "I booked a lie detector."

- It's just dumb. - Yeah, what the [bleep], man?

- Did you ever have a crush on Angelina?

- Oh!

- Have you ever k*lled anyone?

- Oh, damn. - What in the world?

- Pass. - Pass? Say no.

[laughter]

- Let's get drunk tonight. - Yes, we will.

- It's our last night.

- Today's the last day. I'm eating everything.

- What I went through with him,

I'm like, "Should I even stay with him?

Should I not?" But he's been being very good.

- He's been am-- are you kidding?

- He's been amazing. No, I'm saying--I'm saying--

- From what I've seen.

- You know I love you, and that's why.

I think you're funny. You make me laugh all the time.

And... - Beautiful.

- Oh, my God. I'm not crying. You are.

- I'm saying before this. - He's kissing you,

he's holding you, he's showing you attention.

- Yes. Then we'll go home, and then he'll--his whole--

- It's different. - It's different.

- So then maybe be like,

"Why can't this always be our energy?"

- Yeah. So this deadline that I've set is, like,

kind of biting me in the a*s right now.

It's hard, 'cause you can't change somebody else.

You can only change yourself.

The breakthrough that Chris and I had last night

was actually pretty good.

I don't know what I'm gonna do about it.

I wanna be positive here.

So I'm seeing how this goes now.

- Yeah, but you can't give all that energy for,

like, a minute and then stop it.

And then when you get home it's on again.

- I know. - 'Cause that's a mind [bleep].

You should always be fully

happy and content in your relationship.

- ♪ I'm tryin' to get the bag ♪

♪ Get the bag, get the bag ♪

♪ Get the bag, get the bag ♪

- Hi. So I'm looking for my wine.

This is Nicole Snooks, so...

I've been trying to find my wine literally

this whole vacation.

My wine was supposed to deliver, like, two days ago.

- Yeah, Enrique picked it up.

- Enrique? Enrique?

Who works here? Are you Enrique?

- No. - And now the trip

is almost over, and I'm like, "Where's my wine?"

I mean, he stole my wine, and I want to back.

Thanks. Bye. Who the [...] is Enrique?

Enrique? Enrique? Is there an Enrique over there?

I want my wine back. Do you know an Enrique?

- I do not know Enrique. - She's totally lying.

She knows Enrique. I will find you.

And when I find you, you're dead, Enrique.

- ♪ I be ♪ - ♪ I be ♪

- ♪ On it ♪ - ♪ On it ♪

- ♪ Show me ♪

- I'm glad Mike sent all this food to our room.

- Yeah, leave it to Mike

to give us dinner before the dinner.

- Come eat. - All right. Give me a moment.

- It's our last meal.

- [yawns] It's too much [bleep] drinking, dude.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I'm excited for my show tonight.

The Marquee's about to be lit. - I am too.

- I'm turning all the way up.

You don't even realize. I haven't DJ'd in three days.

I got it all built up. I'm a little bit worried

about the b*mb we left them with, though.

- Oh, man.

- I need to know who wrote the note.

- Who wrote the note?

- I'm not a rat.

[laughter]

- Deena, how's the food?

- It's really good.

- You got a full belly yet? - Yes, I'm full.

- Oh, my goodness.

- Have you tried the meatballs?

- I have tried to meatballs. They're top-notch.

- They're so good.

- Listen, if you ever wanna surprise anybody, textbook,

is to make sure they're fed first,

to, like, soften the blow a little bit.

Anybody on an empty stomach...

- Is not gonna be happy.

- They're gonna flip out for sure.

- They're gonna be salty.

- [laughs]

- I'm full. - That was a great meal.

- Make sure our bags are packed for a quick exit.

- Okay. - Yeah.

- I got no messages. Mike didn't call.

I'm wondering, like, did this kid get the note?

Is he keeping it a secret? Could it possibly have hit

the fan already, and we don't even know?

I like doing pranks and stuff like that, but I need updates.

- Your call has been forwarded

to an automated voice messaging system.

- [sighs]

Yo, Chooch. It's your boy. I'm just checking in.

By any chance did you talked to Mike?

If not, you should.

I left you guys a little something, and call me back.

All right.

- I'm thinking this is a family thing.

If I fill Vincent in on this, this is MVP.

You can't go against the most valuable players.

It is what it is. - No, you can't.

- So, I'm gonna fill Vincent in.

- All right, good luck. - I love you.

- You, seeing that you have been lied-detected

before on "Double Shot,"

what do you think they're in for?

- I don't know. - You did it.

- I had nothing to hide.

- You said you want to marry me.

- If Pauly asked you to marry him tomorrow,

would you say yes?

- Yes. - Holy [bleep].

- That's what you said to me. - [laughs]

- Where's my ring?

You sound unhappy in this relationship.

- You just talk too much.

- Maybe we should break up then.

[laughter]

Who doesn't appreciate a good prank?

All's fair and love in pranks, you know what I'm saying?

And I love pranks.

- Yo. - Vincent.

What's up, brother? - What are you doing?

- Just finishing up this meal.

Gua Da God.

- What's up, my dude? What's going on?

- You know how this family loves notes.

- "And put his head in between

a c*ck waitresses' breasts."

- She probably won't even know it's us.

- Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!

- Guys, stop!

- Check this out. - You got a note.

- There's a note.

- "Hey, Mike. I booked a lie detector.

"He's on the way. He knows to ask for you.

Good luck. You're boy, Pauly D."

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Some people who don't have anything to hide

are not worried about a lie detector.

- Facts. You know what they say, you know, the truth

doesn't mind to be questioned, but a lie...

- I don't know. - Will run.

Yeah. - Oh, okay, I didn't know that.

Mike loves getting involved in everyone else's business.

I mean, look, he gets here, the lie detector sets up,

and then just let go like God.

Mike's worse than all the girls combined.

Like, this guy, like, is, like, a little gossiper.

- Let go and let Guad.

- Yeah, let go like Guad.

[laughter]

- ♪ Don't stop ♪

♪ Can't stop ♪

♪ Don't stop ♪

- ♪ We are home ♪

Even though my show's tonight,

can't stop thinking about this lie detector.

You know, somebody could be in the hot seat right now.

- Nobody called? Nothing?

- No, no messages, nothing. Come on.

[line trilling]

- Your call has been forwarded

to an automated voice messaging system.

- Yo, Mike. Come on, bro.

I'm dying over here. You gotta hit me back.

- Patience is a virtue.

- Come on, bro.

- Your call has been forwarded

to an automated voice messaging system.

- He ain't nothin' but voice mails.

[upbeat funky music]

♪ ♪

- Hello. - Hey Mike, this has John.

Where do you want me to go? - Hey, John.

All right, I'll be right there.

Since MVP has initiated this, this is a family thing.

- I'd have to disagree with you there.

- How are you, John? - Hi.

- How are you? Good to see you. - Hello.

- How are you doing? - Hi. Nice to see you again.

- I'm like, "Oh, [bleep]. I know this guy."

Pauly sent a lie detector from "Double Shot" season one.

We're the only ones that know about this.

So we might have to, like, sneak you around a little bit

to get there, all right? So follow us.

- Hi, meatball. - You look gorgeous.

- Thanks. So do you. You wanna have a glass of wine?

- Yes, I would love a glass of wine.

Cheers to meatballs in international cities.

- Yes.

- We're gonna go into my room.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Ohh.

- Oh, my God, I heard somebody that I shouldn't be hearing.

- Yeah, this way. - Cheers to the last night.

- Some of the other castmates are actually outside right now.

- But you can set up,

and then we'll distract the girls while he sets up.

- Yeah.

- So we'll see you out there, all right?

- It seems like you and Chris

are in a good place. - Yeah.

- The deadline, I feel like it's out the window.

- Last night was very nice. I thought about it,

and I was like, "All right, you know what?"

- You're choosing to stay?

- Yeah. - Good.

- I think we have to intro it like,

"Listen, guys. We are a very close group of friends."

- Whenever you say that I get suspicious.

That's suspicious. - All right, all right.

- Mike has to explain to everybody

that they're about to go be interrogated.

So I don't know how you do that softly,

but one thing I know is,

Mike's gonna get up all fun, all lightheaded.

- So I'm actually gonna go first.

- Yeah. - You know what I'm saying?

[upbeat music]

[line trilling]

- Hello.

- Yo. - Yo, what's good?

- I'm dying to know. How's it going?

- With what, the surprise you left us?

I mean, bro, you could have left any other gift.

You could have left, like, some pizza.

- Pizza is cool too, but too bad

you don't eat it properly.

Listen, there's some things that I need to know.

So listen, can you write this down? Who wrote the note?

Like, who actually wrote the note?

Did they ever find the beach?

And obviously, did Angelina and Chris actually get it in?

I need to know that, man.

- All right. Well, I'll keep you posted, all right?

- Yeah, let me know, please. - All right.

Talk to you later. - All right.

[thunder booming]

- I believe in the possibilities ♪

♪ I brought the energy ♪

♪ Remember we ain't have nothing to lose ♪

- We're going to the suite.

- Let's go get our husbands and stuff.

Guys, we're going to the main suite.

- All right. Let's go.

- All right, come on, guys. Let's go have dessert.

- I'll start with the pleasantries first.

- Well, we had the dinner before the dinner.

And now this right here is dessert.

- What is this, Vin? - Don't ask me.

- This is the last night. And we want to thank everyone

for being a part of this amazing trip.

- I ride hard for MVP,

but I don't know how I got dragged into this.

Like, I'm not the Godfather, remember?

Now, all of a sudden, they want me to be part

of their [bleep] plans and take the fall.

Like, this is godfather-godson [bleep].

- A dinner before the dinner? - Yeah.

Well, the reason this is a dinner before the dinner is,

obviously, you always wanna feed the guests.

You wanna make sure everyone is happy.

You wanna make sure everyone is fed,

and we want to say what an amazing trip it has been.

- Here it comes.

- I know, right? No, I know. right?

- Whenever he says that. - Yeah.

- Somebody left a note.

- What the hell? What?

- I know the squad loves me, but...

- Oh, Jesus Christ. Are you serious right now?

- What is on the note?

- "Hey, Mike.

"I booked a lie detector. He's on the way.

"He knows to ask for you, The Investigation.

Good luck. Your boy, DJ Pauly D."

- ♪ I'm 'bout to take it up a level ♪

♪ I'm 'bout to take it to another level, level ♪

- ♪ Go ♪

- It's just dumb. - Yeah, what the [bleep], man?

- Do you think you overreacted a little at Angelina's wedding?

[together] Ohh!

- Damn.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[upbeat funky music]

- ♪ Are you ready for the truth? ♪

♪ Open wide ♪

♪ I get what I want, and you don't but you try ♪

- The trip was good the whole time.

And now they're gonna [bleep] try and ruin the trip?

So who gets to ask the questions?

- All of you guys.

- Oh, so we can ask you any question we want?

- Yeah, yeah. Chris is having a lot of pushback right now.

I promise I will only ask respectful questions.

I am definitely trying to fight my way out of this one.

Put one name and one question per page.

- I don't even know what to ask; I really don't.

- Oh, I know what to say.

- Do you like Jenni's t*ts?

- He's an a*s guy.

- Do you like Jenni's a*s?

- Vinny.

- Yeah, you can ask me anything.

- Yeah. - They're probably gonna ask me

about porn, 'cause I'm creepy [bleep].

But that's okay. I'm an open book.

- Chris L...

Is BDSM out of bounds, BDSM?

Like, ball, gag, and whatnot?

- Not really feeling this at all.

It's k*lling my vibe.

- I'm done. - Me too.

But I guess we'll see what happens.

[funky music]

- ♪ Yeah that's loud, but that ain't loud enough ♪

♪ If you really, really down get that sound up ♪

- Babe. - Yeah?

- 'Bout to go head to the club.

'Bout to go do my thing.

- All right. I'll see you there.

- All right. I'll see over there.

I'm a little stressed 'bout this lie detector test,

and no one's getting back to me.

- Text me when you get there.

- Okay. Bye-bye.

- It's weird to hit my show

right now with all this stuff in the background.

I don't know what's going on in the Keys,

but I have a job to do.

- All right, guys, it's happening.

This right here is John.

- Hi, John. - Hello, John.

- Well, we're so happy you made it here.

- All right, John. Let's go. I'm six years sober.

I have ice in my veins. Let's go.

- Best to take the sunglasses off, sir.

- Oh, damn. All right.

- This guy's serious.

- The lie detector technician, he is not playing around.

Oh, my God, what are you doing? I may have had some experience

with a lie detector in the past,

but this right here is a whole nother animal.

- First question, do you train legs?

[together] Ohh!

- That's a good one.

- No.

[together] Ohh!

- I knew it! I knew it!

- I tell no lies.

- True. Do you like your a*s ate?

- Oh, my God.

- Michael.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, no.

- Yes.

[laughter]

[all cheering]

- Next question. Is that's your natural hair color?

[laughter]

- No, it is not. - Why?

- True. - So he dyes it?

- I dye my beard.

- All right, next victim.

- I'll go. - It's time, Vinny.

- Go, Vinny. - Thanks.

- Do you think you're hot when you're jump-roping

seven days a week?

[laughter]

- Do I think I'm hot?

- ♪ Rock with me ♪

♪ All my girls, all my girls with me ♪

- Yes.

- Oh. - True.

- Oh, thank God. Whew.

- Do you shave the back door?

- Holy [bleep]

- Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

- Well, you know they say.

- Well, if you...

both: Shave the back door, then you are expecting visitors.

- Yeah.

[laughter]

Yes.

- Do you?

What the [bleep]?

- [laughs]

- Did you ever have a crush on Angelina?

[together] Ohh! Oh, my God.

- That's a hard no.

- I'm gonna have to say that's a lie.

- You can say it all you want.

- Wait, is it true or no?

- No, no, no, no, no.

- Oh!

- Nah. [laughter]

All right. Let's not put that out there.

- Vinny was obsessed with me.

He used to ask me on dates.

- What? - So what's up now, [bleep]?

- Don't [bleep] go there, all right?

Give me a break, Vinny.

- Next victim.

- I just wanna get this over with.

- Deena likes it so she can see her blood pressure.

- Let me just go, because it's more anxiety not going.

- Come on, Deen.

- Why am I, like, malfunctioning here?

Is my heartbeat going fast? Is that normal?

- She is anxiety-prone.

- What if my heartbeat is, like, slow, and he's, like,

"You know, something's off about your heart."

- Wait. How come it's so low, the spikes?

- Shut up.

- That's--I mean, look at this [bleep] pet therapist,

or whatever the [bleep] that was, the pet detective.

- You have a health issue is what I need to tell you.

- Wait, what? Am I dying?

- No. - Okay.

- Just need more vitamins.

- All right, first question.

Do you regret showing Mike your bathing suit?

- Yes. - Oh, that was mine.

- Yo.

Oh.

[upbeat rock music]

- Do you wish production would stop showing that clip?

- Yes.

[laughter]

No, you can't do my--

No, you can't do it without my bikini.

Oh, my God, like, so embarrassing.

- You hit, like, in-the-house home run right now.

- No, I don't even want to talk about it,

because that was really bad. - In-the-house home run.

- Are you the better meatball?

[together] Ohh!

- We're a team.

- Is Chris seven plus interest?

- Yes. - Oh, damn.

- Oh, my God. - Vinny.

- That wasn't me. - Yeah, it was.

- True.

- Damn. Chris Bucks with that long stroke there.

- I did enough questions. - Yeah, Dee.

- Oh, damn. - Yay.

- Don't make me look bad.

- I don't know what's gonna happen.

I am worried that Chris is gonna get defensive.

- I'm nervous. It's like I'm on trial.

- Here it is. Here's the [bleep] fire

to the flame over there.

- Did you ever k*ll anyone?

- Oh, my God!

- Oh, damn.

- What in the world? - No.

- Pass.

- Pass? Say no.

[laughter]

- What the...

- Really? We're passing on that one?

- I'm passing on that one. - Oh.

- Look at Vinny's face.

- Vinny's a little scared right now

- Your call has been forwarded

to an automated voice messaging system.

- Come on!

Vinny, my dude, I'm getting a little bit worried over here.

I'm hoping we don't end up with another dead body over there.

I'm sure they're okay. What could go wrong?

Just a little lie detector.

- Did you have sex with your wife before this vacation?

- Ooh! Ooh.

[funky music]

This is why we have the lie detector test.

All the preparation has led up to this moment.

It's happening.

- Here we go. - Drum beat, please.

- Drum beat, please.

♪ ♪

[light electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Did you have sex with your wife before this vacation?

[tense music]

- Oh, my God.

Nothing like doing something like this in the last night

to crash and burn and ruin our whole vacation.

- Yes. - Ooh!

- Here we go.

- Here we go!

Drum beat, please.

- It's happening.

All the preparation has led up to this moment.

We are finally going to get to the bottom of this.

♪ ♪

- True.

[all cheering]

- I've not lied about not having sex for so long.

So, like, why would I lie about having sex?

- Told you. - Do you love your wife

and see yourself with her forever?

- Ohh. - Yes.

- True.

[all cheering]

- If any good could come out of a lie detector night,

like, this was it.

- That's not mine. - It ain't mine.

- That was my question, actually.

[together] Ohh!

- It was her question. - Next victim.

- Ohh!

- Before the trip, Chris was just not giving me anything.

And I was, like, "Give me something, please."

So to hear that Chris loves me

really makes me feel so much better.

- Do you like cutting the guys' hair?

- Oh, damn.

- Choose your next words wisely.

- Ahh!

- You might have to pass on that, my dude.

- Yes. - True.

- [laughs] - Ahh.

- Did you really have to ice your vag*na

when you first had sex with Zack?

- Yes. - Who asked that?

- Good job, Zack.

- Do you wanna be the next John Cena?

- No.

- Oh, he said [bleep] John Cena.

- Be better than John Cena.

- Are you bruise-y? - What's that?

- Bruise-y? - What?

- Oh, sorry. Are you bougie? - Bougie.

- I thought it might be "bruise easily."

- True. - She's bougie.

- Did Angelina have any part of writing the note?

- Yes. If it wasn't for her,

we wouldn't have known what to put in.

- True. - Sorry, bro.

- Did you write the note?

- I did, yes.

"The first night at B.E.D.

when you left crying, Ron made out with two girls."

- True.

- Do you ever get sick of Mike's T-shirt quotes?

- No. - Inconclusive.

[together] Ohh!

- "You and a lie detector" is gonna be the new shirt,

"Inconclusive."

- Ew!

- Next victim.

Okay, first question. Do you regret getting arrested?

- No.

- Thug life, kid.

- Get the [bleep] off.

It's right, right?

Santa?

The lie detector test is no joke.

And I just feel like in general

it just gives you anxiety,

'cause you're, like, "What are you going to ask me?

What if you asked me, like, did I poop today?

And what if I don't wanna answer,

but then you know my answer already."

[laughter]

- Do you think you overreacted a little at Angelina's wedding?

[together] Ohh!

- Damn.

[tense music]

- Are you guys having sex? - [laughs]

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

- Enrique, you little b*tch. You stole my wine.

I found my wine, b*tch.

Yes, queen.

I love you so much; I found you.

- ♪ I've got the power ♪

- Do you think you overreacted at Angelina's wedding?

- Yes.

[together] Ohh!

- Damn. - Old beef.

- But only because she did.

[together] Ohh!

- That is true.

- We all overreacted.

- Next victim.

- Angelina, it's time.

- I don't do well with being interrogated.

- Did you have any part in writing the note?

- What happened?

- Jen woke up this morning with a note.

The note was typed.

- It's crazy.

- I didn't write it.

I told them what to write in it.

- She narrated it. - Yes or no?

- Yes. - True.

- Good. - I feel closure.

- Yes, you're a part of the note, b*tch.

- Do you regret leaving the show the first time?

- For you to stay in this house, you have to work.

So I guess you're fired.

- I'm leaving now. - Yes.

- Facts. - True.

- Mm-hmm.

- Do you regret leaving the show the second time?

- Peace out, fake people. - Bye.

- Yo, you look like you're . Get some [bleep] Botox, bro.

Oh, my God. Yes.

- The third time? [laughter]

- True. Next question.

Did you ever have a crush on Vinny?

- No. - Turn the table.

- Inconclusive.

[together] Ohh!

- Oh, my God.

Maybe if he got rid of the junk robe,

maybe he had a chance. I don't know.

- Yes.

- True. [together] Yay.

- I think this was good, Chris and I,

because we got to be a team.

I feel like we had each other's backs,

but I need Chris like that all the time.

- All right. And on that note, we're done, my kids.

- Yes. - Are we done?

- True, go have a drink. - Whoo-hoo!

[together] Yeah!

- Thank you, John. - Thanks, John.

I'm sure I'll see you again in the future.

- I'm sorry I called you Santa.

You make me feel like I'm home. Love you.

- ♪ Life is a marathon ♪

♪ I'm hurtling my enemies ♪

♪ Go like I'm caroling ♪

♪ I want it, I want it ♪

♪ If I ain't getting money with you ♪

♪ You are an opponent ♪

all: No lie detected.

- I am very impressed right now.

Pauly pulled the pin out of the grenade and passed it to Mike,

and Mike has pulled off the impossible.

Good job.

[upbeat electronic music]

- All right, time for bed. - All right, babe.

- All right. Love you.

- I love you.

- I love you so much. You are gorgeous.

- I'm gonna combine my two favorite things right now,

my wife's booty and some pizzas.

- No. - It's happening.

♪ ♪

- I'm glad it happened, so fun.

[upbeat music]

- I'm tired. - What a crazy night.

Do you like the fact that I asked if you love your wife,

and if you wanna be with me forever

- I did. I'm glad that you know.

- Did you like the fact that one of the roomies asked

if I love you and it came out yes?

- Yes. - So we have nice stuff?

- Yeah, it was nice stuff.

- So I'm starting to realize some of the reasons why I fell

in love Chris in the first place, you know.

I remember back then, like, we were on each other's team.

We were very good together.

And hopefully if it stays this way, then we'll make it.

[phone rings]

- Hello.

- I have a delivery for you, a case of wine.

- Enrique, is this you? - Yes. Just my...

- Enrique, you little b*tch. You stole my wine.

- We have Enrique; he picked it up.

And he should be delivering it.

- Enrique stole my wine.

- We are gonna leave your wine for you outside of room .

- I hung up on him. Enrique's ruining my life.

Enrique? Angelina?

Angelina?

Is this her room?

Angelina, do you wanna come?

- Come on.

- Oh, [bleep].

- [laughs] Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

- Are you guys having sex?

Ew!

- Ahh!

Enrique, you have my wine, b*tch.

- Holy [bleep]. Chris, help her out.

It's so big. Wait.

How the [bleep] are you carrying that, dude?

- I'll bring--I'll bring it in. - Strong hands, b*tch.

- How do you just lift that up like that?

- 'Cause I'm a strong-a*s b*tch.

I'm so sorry, baby.

I found my wine, b*tch.

Yes, queen. Thank you.

- ♪ That that girl right there she my MVP ♪

♪ That's why she's on my team ♪

♪ Look at the way she be rockin' them jeans ♪

- Oh!

- Greyson. Island boy.

- Oh, my God. Goodbye.

- Good morning, honey.

- Good morning.

- ♪ That's why she's on my team ♪

- k*ll me.

♪ ♪

- I have a little thing

that I want us all to do before leaving here.

- What's that? - So you know how I like to,

like, like, match, like, family matching?

- CJ, how's it look? Good or ridiculous?

- Ridiculous. - Yo, yo, yo, what's up?

- Oh, good. Everybody's wearing their jammies.

- Deena of course sent us all matching PJs.

- Oh, yay! Everyone.

- So I got all of us matching tropical shirts.

- Oh, they're gonna love that.

- How cute will that be?

- They're gonna get a little glimpse of my reality.

- Oh, please. You love it. So it's been an amazing trip.

And today we're gonna do family matching photos.

And it's gonna go down in our memories.

- Yes, great trip.

- Good morning.

- What's up, dude? - Hey, Sissy.

- Hey Sissy. - Morning.

- Before breakfast, I have, like,

one more little thing that I wanna do.

- Oh, God. - Wait one second.

- Oh, my God, another dead body.

- I can't handle any more. - Another dead body.

I can't take any more surprises.

- So as you can see CJ's ensemble,

I would like to do a matching family photo.

I feel like it would be really cute.

- So Deena's had too many good ideas.

- Welcome to m*rder mystery dinner.

- Throw Deena in the pool. - We're going on

a mansion boat today.

- Mansion boat?

[all hollering]

- Welcome, everybody, to your love and intimacy

tantra workshop.

- Threesome.

- More like orgy. - Orgy.

- So we needed to get back to Deena's bad ideas

and take a family photo in a weird tropical outfit.

- I'm tired. - Another vacation in the book.

- We can't forget Pauly and Nicky.

- Here, Vin, your tripod

or your--whatever you call yourself.

- One, two, three.

all: Family vacation.

- years ago

I would have never expected to be in the Florida Keys

with everyone and their wives and their kids.

Like, we're still doing it.

- I love you guys. I gotta go.

- All right. Have a safe flight.

- Bye. - See you later.

- Leave the shirt on.

It's time to get back to Jersey.

- So I feel like the plan went perfect.

Everybody loved their shirts.

- Jesus Christ! What the [bleep] is this?

- Yeah, this is... - Everyone looked so good.

- Can you imagine wearing this again?

- Oh, no. I'm never wearing this again.

- No.

- It's definitely frame-worthy this one.

- Definitely. - This is dirty.

- Why does this smell?

All these stink. What's that smell like?

It was a great vacation. We had a blast as a family.

We're islanders now. The Keys was a total success.

- And we had a great time. - Love you.

- Did you have fun this vacation, Mo-Mo?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

What was your best part?

- Chillin' and getting tan? I love you. And I'm sad.

I don't wanna leave. Did you have the best time?

I need a piña colada.

Bye, vacation.

- Okay. All right, we're out.

- Romeo's first vacation was a success.

- Yes. - Right, baby? Yay!

- You almost ready? I got Cameron on me.

We're going.

All right. Back to Jersey. Team Buckner is out.

- Are you taking that on the plane?

- This?

Yeah, of course, on the other plane.

- Underneath the plane? - Yeah.

Where would I [bleep] put it? I don't care where they put it

as long as it's--I don't give a [bleep].

- Before this trip, Chris and I,

we were not in a good place at all.

But I think this vacation was-- it was good for both of us.

I don't know what the future is gonna hold.

But hopefully, we'll be on the track of goodness from here.

- All right, we're running late.

We're gonna miss our flight. Say bye to CJ.

[together] Aww.

- Is he excited, or is he sad?

- No, he's sad. - Aww.

- I love you. Mwah! Overall, I had a blast.

All right, let's get out of here.

I mean I feel like we're gonna do this

till we're, like, . Bye. Love you.

- I love you guys. Bye, Sissy.

- Where to next? Where's Enrique?

Enrique?

- ♪ Ohh [indistinct] ♪

♪ [indistinct] ♪

♪ You woke up in paradise ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Waking up, waking up, waking up to the best side ♪

- This was a really awesome vacation.

And I don't know what's next,

but I'm sure it's going to be a wild ride.

- New York City, turn it up.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Look at me, look at me, look at me ♪

♪ Just look at me, look at me, look at me watch ♪

- Oh, my God, my wife is gonna freak out.

- Oh, damn. - Ohh.

- You look like Slim Shady.

- More like Thick Shady.

- Oh, my God. - Yeah.

I'm having, like, heart palpitations right now.

- You would literally get married tomorrow?

- % - El Paso, yeah!

- Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!

- Shut up! - I just peed.

- You just--get up. - Are you kidding me? as*h*le.

You take a [bleep] TV that's, like, inches, bro.

- Angelina, we're here!

Don't worry! I'll be quiet in your new neighborhood!

- I noticed you're not wearing your ring.

- Thought that things are gonna change, and they didn't change.

And I'm like, "This is not normal."

- Stay tuned, guys.

all: Family vacation!

- ♪ Look at me, look at me, look at me ♪