05x18 - Messy Mike

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

- That's something you don't see every day in El Paso

is this.

- And I'm here to drink margaritas today,

mother[bleep].

- The last man that challenged me ain't alive to see today.

[phone rings]

- Angeliner.

Why couldn't you come?

- Get off the phone, Mike. I'm mad at you.

- Mike sent us a group chat saying apparently Angelina

leaked the speech and boom, girls are

beefing again on social media. - What?

Oh, damn.

We got beef already?

- Make some noise for DJ Pauly D.

- I'm not gonna lie.

I'm a little drunk.

- What are we going to do about the [bleep] owl?

[owl hoots]

- It was like, hoo.

Hoo.

- I feel like if we hear it tonight,

we could run outside and go, hoo!

Hoo! Hoo!

- ♪ Get crazy, get wild ♪

♪ Let's party, get loud ♪ - Yeah, buddy!

- Party's here!

- The Situation is under construction.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

- ♪ If you wanna have fun, then do something crazy ♪

- ♪ We're going to party all night ♪

♪ ♪

- I see you in the tree.

- Woo! We're the owls.

Woo!

I didn't even an owls were, like, a real thing.

Like, I know they're real.

- And I didn't know-- - Like, to be outside

our window and go, hoo.

- Hoo, hoo, hoo. - All [bleep] night.

- This is a warning.

- Hoo, hoo.

[siren blares] - Ooh!

- Tomorrow, I'm not going to be OK.

- [growls]

- I mean, who--

- Tomorrow--

- Who doesn't drink a lot, like hoo,

hoo, like that [bleep] owl. - Hoo!

Our German shepherds are coming out.

[barks]

[laughter] - [bleep].

- Listen. - Whoa.

[growls]

- Get up.

What the [bleep] is happening?

- I'm going to say sorry in doggy.

- Just shut-- no.

- Hoo, hoo.

- Everybody needs to go to bed, everybody.

- Owls, you heard it first.

- I haven't been like this in probably years.

- Yes!

Someone get us more wine.

[squealing]

- There you are!

- I want you to make me a she shed.

- You're still pouring wine on me, b*tch.

- I'm a little drunk.

- Can I have a wine in a to-go tup?

- I'm having a good time, but where's my bra?

Somebody took my bra.

I don't know who took my bra.

I don't know where my bra is.

Where's my bra? - All right.

Where'd you take your bra off?

- See, this is a problem.

I like, packed.

I made sure everything was good, like a good person.

And then everything goes crazy.

[groans] Where's my bra?

- I'm not wearing a bra either.

- Like, I feel uncomfortable.

Like, my boobs are just hanging out.

It's, like, my main bra.

I don't know what to do if I don't have it.

I would just be, like, freeballing.

- Is this your bra?

- Yes, that is my bra.

- It was in my laundry.

- That's my bra.

- [snorts]

- Cheers.

- Cheers to being meatballs.

[laughter]

- That was fun.

- ♪ Party, we lit ♪

♪ We got 'em rocking like Beatles there ♪

♪ The whole place in the fit, yeah, every time I say Jesus ♪

- Hey.

Good morning, my chooch.

- Oh my god.

I can't believe you're up right now.

- What do you mean? We got to get out of here, bro.

- Vinny and I are going to be the first ones

to leave El Paso.

I have a show today, and Vinny needs to head

to Vegas to do his show.

- Why are we FaceTiming when you're in the next room?

- Maybe you can come over to my room then.

- Pauly FaceTimed me from the next room over.

He's turned a little clingy.

I kind of had enough. I'm not going to lie.

Like, this is the last day.

Nikki can have her man back.

- Yo, it was lit last night.

- Yeah, it was a good time. - It was.

It was a perfect way to end this weekend.

- I feel like the show was a super success.

It's just really cool that I was able to share

this one with my family.

- Mike, you feeling OK today? - Yeah.

- Yeah? Any tweets?

I didn't check your Twitter. - No, no.

I'm good, man. I'm good. - All right.

- Every now and then, you're going to have a messy friend.

- I mean, I'm kind of pissed right now

that Angeliners is mad at me.

- Get off the phone, Mike.

I'm mad at you.

- What did-- oh, damn.

We got beef already?

- She can't blame me for--

- Destroying her whole life, you know.

- Yeah, she's like running herself over with a Mack truck

and blaming me.

- Yeah, you didn't put the guys' [bleep] in her vag*na.

- Yeah.

- You just... - You know what I mean?

- Told us about it. [laughter]

- What the hell?

New [bleep], who dis?

Hmm.

I'm gonna have to send this to the squad.

[laughter]

- Don't worry, guys.

The new Sitch is here to stay.

Positive vibes only.

[upbeat music]

- Oh god, why do I feel like this house is

going to go on fire right now? Oh no.

A little going crazy now.

- I'm, like, saging my whole house right now.

Got to get all the evil out.

[coughs]

[doorbell rings]

- Oh, perfect timing.

- Hello.

[squeals]

- Hi. - Mwah.

- Sorry. I don't want to, like--

- I'm really inhaling that here.

- I'm so sorry.

- I appreciate my sister so much, like,

because if it wasn't for her, to have her right now,

to talk things over with her with everything that's going on

I don't know where I'd be. I really--

I probably would have lost my mind

by now, like, literally.

- How was your weekend?

- I didn't go to El Paso.

The whole crew was there but me.

- I think that was probably a good choice.

- Yeah. - Right?

- Considering that people are really,

really, really involved in my ending of my marriage.

- Well, maybe you need to--

- Hashtag Mike d*ck.

- Look, Mike has gotten through a lot

of bad hardship in his life, but Mike

is also a [bleep]-stirrer.

Why would he ever get involved in my marriage?

- Mm-hmm.

- Texting Chris.

- Yeah.

- Like, I don't understand why Mike felt the need

to want to contact him or answer his [bleep]

and, like, try to figure out dirt on me.

- Yeah, there's no boundaries there.

- No.

Like, what the [bleep] is my marriage-- what does that have

to do with you, like?

- Where are the girls at?

Are they heading in?

Oh, my gosh.

- That's the aftermath of a Pauly D show.

- Wait. - What?

- They're mushy meatballs.

- It smells like hot mess and regret in here.

- Meatballs haven't been this sloshed in a while.

- We got coffees. - Yeah.

- Thanks for a good night, Pauly.

- Oh, no, no doubt.

- This morning, I'm regretting my entire existence.

My throat hurts from barking.

[barks]

I'm so hungover.

I mean, last night was a [bleep] show.

I need to, like, get my [bleep] together.

- There was a sudden death last night.

- Oh, ow. - Oh, [bleep].

- Ow.

I stepped in that crack.

- I snapped my Louboutin.

You see this?

Do you [bleep] see?

I snapped the [bleep]-- look at it.

I was grinding on metal last night.

- The [bleep]?

- I know.

It sounds spoiled, but I am very upset right now.

- You don't understand.

We've been through life together.

These were my first pair.

- People are dying, Jenni.

- [bleep] off!

Very sad day.

- I think I'm dying.

- Meatballs are, like, out of commission for a while.

- Oh god.

- [groans]

I'm going to have to gag myself.

- We're in the theater.

- You moms are [bleep] wild. - [laughs]

- Oh, look at the little old lady.

[laughter]

- I don't care.

- Look at the little old Chilean lady.

You look like your grandmother from Chile.

- [groans]

Oh, I look terrible. - Oh.

- Woof.

Who was that lady?

- Well, love you.

- I had an amazing time with you guys.

- Bye, Deeners. - Bye.

- See you later. Feel better.

- Good luck at Chippendales. - Thank you.

- Love you. Get home safe.

- Love you.

Have fun on tour. - Catch you later.

- I'm sad that our trip is over.

Pauly and Vinny are leaving, then we're leaving.

- Get home safe. I'll see you in group.

- Safe travels, boys. - All right.

- It was such, like, a fun, quick trip,

but I'm so excited to get home.

Next show, I'm not drinking.

- OK.

[laughter]

- Yo, after we get through this door,

you're no longer in the main piece.

You're back to the side piece. - Oh, [bleep].

Back to the side piece.

- I think this trip was really fun

with the UTVs and the taco tour and, like,

great food and just us, like, hanging out together

again like old-school style.

It was awesome.

- We made some noise, and woke the neighbors.

- You're still making noise.

- El Paso, thank you for coming out.

We did our thing.

Yeah buddy.

Oh yeah, El Paso.

Yeah.

We're still making noise. - Shut up.

- I'm a strong-a*s b*tch.

- I'm the one that has all the receipts.

Why would you be coming at me?

- I don't know why.

- Right now, old Mike is brewing inside of new Mike.

- I have no time for this drama.

- Oh, [bleep].

- Hope she's not coming in hot.

- Walking into this lunch, I am very angry.

- Why are you looking at me?

- Why would you do that?

- [groans]

[twangy music]

- Bye, El Paso.

- Oh yeah, El Paso, yeah.

- Shut up. - Naw.

I do that in the airport too to let

everybody know I'm there. - [groans]

So dirty.

I'm taking a Shore shower.

[groans]

- You excited for your show?

- Ah, a little bit.

- You might be rusty, bro.

You haven't rode that pole in a long time.

- I know.

Like, when the helicopter gets going, it's going to...

[imitates whirring and creaking]

- Get some WD- on there. - Put some grease.

[laughter]

- So right now, this is a great time to leave the East Coast.

There's a lot of drama on the East Coast brewing.

And now it's just me and Pauly in Vegas.

Like, me and Pauly are, like, the drama-free crew.

We're just all about having a good time.

- Yo, the whole Angelina thing with Mike is so weird.

By the way, she probably is pissed at him, obviously.

He's, like, talking to, like, of her boyfriends.

- Yeah. - But right now,

old Mike is brewing inside of new Mike.

- Yeah.

- It's in his brain ruminating.

- That's gonna blow up.

- So my husband went and told the girls

I leaked the wedding speech.

And they act like they were, like, best friends of Chris

and they knew him before they knew me.

Like, what?

I did not leak [bleep].

I don't care what he's telling people.

The fact that they actually believe what he's saying,

it's so ridiculous.

It makes no sense.

This is the most vulnerable part and time of my life

right now. - It is.

- And instead of having their support, I don't.

- Mm-hmm, yeah.

- I didn't leak the wedding speech.

I don't give a [bleep].

And my loyalty is wearing thin,

and I'm at the point in my life now

where I'm not going to let one mother[bleep]

step on me anymore.

- I'm so [bleep] done.

So [bleep] done.

[dramatic music]

- [groans]

I'm a prickly elder today.

I want my mommy.

- I can't believe you've never really had a hangover before.

- Dude, it's not.

Don't ruin me. - OK.

Just joking.

- I'm a strong-a*s b*tch.

I'm so excited to go back home.

I mean, this trip was amazing, but, like, I need to detox.

Get me out of here.

- Went to El Paso, and all I got is a [bleep] hangover.

- I'm going to see what snacks we could bring for the plane.

- Oh my god, did somebody say snacks?

- Yeah, let's bring these on the plane.

- Oh my god, yeah.

- Just raid the whole place.

Bring it home.

- I mean, what a sin to leave it.

Yeah. Get a couple of those.

- Got it.

Got it.

- Come on. [laughter]

I have to leave. - All right.

I got the snacks.

- I need Jesus.

- It was a good two days. - It was.

- Now let's get back.

- Come on, Bertha.

My bag is heavy as hell.

Come on, Bertha.

- I'm never drinking again.

[screaming]

- I'm concerned for my well-being.

I think this is it.

This is how I go. - All right.

Let's get the [bleep] out of here.

- All right. Let's get it.

It's been real, El Paso.

- Peace out. - See you later.

- Bye.

- Godspeed.

- I'm not going miss the owl.

That owl was crazy.

- You brought a great show. - My guy.

- Thanks for having us.

I'll see you in Vegas. - Yeah.

See you in Vegas. - Yes, sir.

- All right. - OK.

- It's been real, but I need to, like, die on my own couch.

- Yeah.

Send me [bleep] home.

Oh my god.

- This was an amazing trip for BDS and the squad.

All right, you want me to get you?

- It was very nostalgic, amazing food,

amazing memories, amazing photos,

and on to the next trip.

- Oh my god, we're here.

I got the snacks.

- I'm saving this bed.

- Jesus took the wheel.

- Oh, [bleep].

Oh my god.

- Never drinking again.

- I need to pass away for a little bit.

- ♪ Turn up the dial ♪

♪ Turn up the beat ♪

♪ I came in style ♪

♪ It's going down ♪

[line trilling]

♪ Crazy wild ♪

- Ma.

- Yeah, I just landed.

I'm on my way to the hotel now.

- So I'm at the Palms Place, you know,

right across the street from my office,

AKA The Pole.

I just got here to the condo.

Oh Ma, look.

It's you.

- I'm going to put it right next to my bed.

Look, you're red hair goes with the red leather.

- All right.

- No, I can't eat anything.

Strippers eat air.

- ♪ Wake up, let's get it, let's get it ♪

- Time to wake up.

We're back to Jersey.

Time to wake up.

- ♪ Rise up, let's get it ♪

- Oh yay. Thank god. - Thank you.

- You're welcome. - Where are we?

- We're in New Jersey already.

- Oh, thank you.

Finally, we're back in Jersey.

Yee-haw.

- Let's go, b*tches.

- ♪ Take it all back ♪

- Honeys, I'm home. - Whoo!

- ♪ Take it all back yeah ♪

- Welcome back from El Paso.

- Yeah.

- ♪ Bring it all back ♪

- You definitely smell.

- Hey, look who's home.

Mommy's home.

I missed you.

- We had such a great time.

There wasn't really any dramers either.

- No?

- You know, there really wasn't.

- Did Angelina end up showing up or...

- She didn't show up, but she FaceTimed during dinner,

and she said to Mike, like, I'm mad at you or something.

And then that spiraled Mike.

And I'm like, oh my goodness.

- I was really just minding my business

and Pauly panned, like, the FaceTime to me.

And she's like, I'm mad at you.

- For what?

- I don't know.

- The husband reached out to me,

and I recorded that [bleep].

- I'm sending it to the squad right now.

- Mike was like, oh Ang, wish you were here.

And she goes, [bleep] you.

[bleep] you, I'm [bleep] mad at you.

- To Mike?

- Yeah.

- The only thing that I can think of

is that I entertained someone that was trying to expose her.

[bell dings]

She was like, don't talk to me.

Take the phone away from him.

I'm like, oh damn.

How dare you come at Big Daddy Sitch?

And then next thing you know it,

old Sitch is like... hold my beer.

Me and Angeliners, we have some--

some history.

- You look like Popeye on crack.

- Yo, shut your mouth.

- I'm like, oh god, come on.

Like, do you really want to smoke with me?

I'm the one that has all the receipts.

Why would you be coming at me? - I don't know why.

- At the end of the day, the streets are messy,

and somebody's got to clean it up.

Who's going to be the bad guy?

Situation.

No problem.

Just when I thought I was out of the old Sitch,

they bring me back in.

- ♪ You can finally get my dreams where ♪

♪ I swirling like a whirlwind ♪

- Babe...

- I got him.

- Thank you.

- Are you excited?

- Mm-hmm.

- You got a lot of people coming for you.

- Mommy's not even ready yet.

- So tonight is a really exciting night.

- Here. Put this on.

- So KultureCity is a charity that I am on the board of,

and we help children and adults with autism

with sensory needs.

- I'm proud of you for being such a big boy today,

very, very proud of you.

- And Greyson is being honored tonight

for his autistic journey at an autism acceptance

event called Hero Kulture.

[tape rewinding]

- Do you know what you're doing today?

You are going to meet Colton from KultureCity.

Colton is going to interview you for a big party,

and it's going to be centered around you.

- I'm rolling. - OK.

Well, I want to say thank you for helping me with this video

because you are a very big part of KultureCity

and Greyson's life.

- Yeah. No, it's just-- - You should be proud.

- It's all for Greyson.

- I know.

When I got the autism diagnosis,

I actually didn't realize there was a sensory issue

attached to autism.

I just thought there was going to be a delay in speech.

You know, as a parent figuring out what autism is, you really

don't know what the spectrum involves,

and it's a very overwhelming experience.

Oh hi, Greyson.

- I never thought in a million years

my kid would have autism, but I love the fact

that Greyson is crushing it.

And these are noise-cancellation headphones.

They're very important in Greyson's day-to-day activity.

They make him feel like he can take on those activities,

just like Spider-Man, right? - Yeah.

- Do you want to say the goodbye?

Look at the camera and say it really loud.

- Goodbye, everybody.

- [chuckles]

[tape fast-forwarding]

- You're going to look so cool, dude.

- This is so pretty.

Are you nervous?

- You are?

Meilani loves supporting her brother and his cause,

so when she says she wants to do a speech,

it just makes me extremely proud of my daughter.

Do you know Mommy gets nervous when I do speeches?

And I have to do one tonight.

One of my biggest fears is public speaking.

I have stage fright, and I just hate speeches.

Julian wants me to speak at the event and I'm--

- Oh, really?

- Just speaking to you right there, I got red.

- Oh, yeah?

- But it's been three years that I've

been with KultureCity.

I have not given a speech at any of these events

because I obviously don't have the best track record.

You are the dump to our island.

[laughter]

Calm down. - It's joking.

- So this should be interesting.

- OK, babe.

Now we're ready.

- OK.

I got big boy Greyson.

- Whew. - Ready for him?

- [laughs] Oh, where is he?

Greyson.

- Big boy Greyson's ready.

- Hi.

You look so handsome.

KultureCity is my purpose in life now.

I want to make the world a better place for kids

and adults like my son, and I want people

to know that they're not alone and that they can

go to KultureCity for help.

- You two are so perfect.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Let me call this chooch.

[phone chiming]

- Yo, what's good, my dude?

- Yo, what's up?

- Out here in Vegas, living the dream.

- Hey, nah.

So I got like a little bit of free time,

so I wanted to pop over.

- Yeah, it's not really a good time.

I have to work out.

Can I schedule a wax, please, for my body?

- You want your whole body?

- Well, we'll play it by ear.

I'll see how bad you hurt me.

- Forget that.

I'll see you soon.

- Dude-- all right.

- Bye.

He loves me.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- So who's coming tonight?

- Snooki and Deener are coming.

- Ooh, yay.

I didn't know everyone was coming.

- We're all going to support Greyson and the WOWW family

for this event.

- I'm so excited because tonight,

I'm going to a charity event.

And of course, I'm so proud of Jenni.

I'm so proud of all the work she does for KultureCity.

- I'm having a panic attack.

- What's the worst thing that could happen?

- I stutter. - You stutter?

Everyone stutters - I get booed.

There's a lot of PTSD from the wedding.

- No one's going to boo you.

- Babe, I said that at the wedding,

and the whole island of Staten booed me.

- So to my point, there's respectable people here.

[laughter]

- ♪ I'm looking pretty ♪

♪ Hot damn, I'm burning fire ♪

- ♪ Glam ♪

- Come on! - [bleep].

- What are you doing?

- You should warn somebody.

- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Hi.

- Sorry. We should have warned you.

- He's getting used to me stripping again, you know.

He likes that I have a little hair.

Like, he likes it being a little manly, but you know,

work is work. - True.

- All right. I got to put my clothes on.

- Yeah. Come on, man.

Wait.

Last time you waxed your butthole.

[upbeat music]

- Honey, hold that skirt up so it doesn't get stepped on.

- Hi. - Hello.

How are you?

♪ ♪

- So fancy.

- Should I leave it like this? - Leave it open.

- Leave it open? - I like it open.

- OK. - Oh, look.

Rose petals.

- This is such a big deal for Jenni,

and it is so important for us to be there to support her.

We're at table eight. - Are we all at eight?

- And that's where we are. - OK.

- So we're at eight?

- Not only has this been a journey for Jenni,

but this has been such a journey for Greyson too.

And they both have accomplished so much

in the last couple years, and I'm

just so proud of both of them.

- Tonight's surreal.

Having the cast of the "Jersey Shore" here

is surreal in support of Greyson and myself,

so it's a great night.

- Chris thinks he's underdressed.

- I am underdressed.

- Take off your jacket. - Yeah, take the jacket off.

- You look nicer without the jacket.

- I'm covering up my--

- Your dress shirt?

- My underdressed-ness.

- Whatever.

- Chris is panicking about being underdressed.

- By this, you're making yourself more underdressed.

Honey, relax.

I think you look handsome.

I have never seen anybody act so dramatic.

- I know I'm annoying.

I'm the worst.

[sobs]

- You're vitamin D deficient.

- Am I dying?

- OK. - [screams]

My god.

Is there a medic over here?

[sobs]

I will never film with here again.

Oh my god, Chris.

He's being so dramatic.

[upbeat music]

- Oh, that's nice.

They're all together.

Wonderful.

We're not invited.

They're mad at me for what?

For me having problems in my marriage.

And they got involved in it.

And here I am cleaning up [bleep] and piss while they're

all having a good time.

Perfect. [dog whimpering]

- But I feel like it's becoming bigger and bigger and bigger.

- They're all $, or $, tables

that everybody had to buy to come.

Everything goes to KultureCity.

- That's big. Congrats.

- Hello.

Good evening.

[cheers and applause]

- Thank you all for being here.

And now, I would like to introduce

a friend and fellow--

- Oh [bleep].

- --warrior mom.

- Jenni hates speeches.

- I'm gonna puke.

- Speeches are definitely a touchy topic when

it comes to us as a group.

[crowd booing]

Definitely the pressure is on.

- Please welcome to the stage Jenni Farley.

[cheers and applause]

- Take it away.

- I'll be honest.

My adrenaline is, like, through my throat.

- Yay, Jenni.

- The only thing that I can do is

literally hold on to my seven-year-old

daughter for life support.

I'm ready to puke everywhere.

- ♪ I'll be there when the sun goes down ♪

♪ And I'll be there when it comes back ♪

♪ I know it's hard to believe, but we're all that we have ♪

- Please welcome to the stage Jenni Farley.

[cheers and applause]

- Yay, Jenni.

- I'll be honest.

I'm ready to puke everywhere.

I cannot control my adrenaline,

and I even took a beta blocker.

I'm Jenni.

- And I'm Zack.

- And welcome to our--

- House. - House!

Good job, bud.

- I was at the podium, watching our video on the monitor,

trying so hard not to cry.

Greyson, I feel like was born special to help other children

and to help other families break the stigma

and to show that it's not the end all be all.

It's just the beginning.

[cheers and applause]

[inspirational music]

- I have been with KultureCity for over three years.

And this is actually my first speech with KultureCity

because if you know me, you know

that I am petrified and awful at speeches, so here we are.

A few years ago, my son Greyson and I

were departing Orlando airport after his autism diagnosis.

While waiting for a delayed flight,

Greyson could no longer handle the sensory overload.

It was just too much for him.

I didn't understand what he was going through.

I didn't understand sensory overload, sensory needs.

And the worst part of our experience

was the fact that the airline airport and the people

surrounding us didn't help.

They kind of just stood there and watched and most likely

thought that I was just a bad mother

and I couldn't control my two-year-old son

when obviously that wasn't the case.

At KultureCity, we create sensory accessibility

and inclusion for those with invisible disabilities.

My goal at KultureCity is to make every airport

sensory inclusive certified so no family goes

through what I went through.

By telling Greyson's story, Greyson

has become a hero to so many.

His journey helps other families

know there are people like myself fighting

to make the limits limitless.

Without getting too emotional,

I wouldn't to know where I would be without the help

and support from KultureCity.

Hi.

Oh.

Everyone, meet Greyson.

[cheers and applause]

- Yeah, Grey!

- And to my hero, Greyson, Mommy is so proud of you.

[applause]

- This moment could not be more perfect.

Greyson has overcome so many obstacles in life

that I just could not be more of a proud mom.

And I never thought it could actually be this good.

- ♪ Met you at the right time ♪

♪ This is what it feels like ♪

♪ Living in a movie ♪

- I was trying not to cry.

- No, you did so good.

And Meilani, you did so good.

- ♪ We'll be all right ♪

♪ Met you at the right time ♪

♪ This is what it feels like ♪

- ♪ No time for the drama, I be running it ♪

♪ I make, making moves ♪

♪ Move out my way ♪

♪ I got things to do ♪

♪ I be running it ♪

- We's back in Vegas.

- Yup.

Back on the strip stripping.

- I like it that way.

- ♪ I be running it ♪

- Do anything different this time around?

- Well, I know the show is going

to be a little different.

Still taking the shower, you know.

- Yeah, yeah. That's the point.

You got to be clean. - [laughs] Facts.

Hey.

There it is, Casa di Amore.

- Like you never left.

- Hey. - Hello.

Oh my goodness.

Nice to see you guys. - What's up?

- Good to see you. - Welcome back.

Oh my gosh. - We're back.

- It's been a while.

- There's two of you tonight?

- Just two of us tonight. - Yeah, just two of us.

- Great. - Yeah, not the whole crew.

- We're on a date tonight. Oh my god.

Mike just texted me right now.

- Really?

- He says, I didn't want interrupt

your side piece date at Casa di Amore.

- What a stalker.

- He said, make sure to get the steak,

fried ravioli, prosciutto,

Caesar salad, fettuccine Alfredo--

- Come on.

We can't order like that.

I'm on the stripper diet.

- Mike probably has crazy FOMO that me

and Pauly are out to eat.

I mean, Mike loves food so much that he's ordering my meal

from across the country.

- Mike's been awfully quiet.

I think Angelina's going to give it to him.

- I know. - She's not going to hold back.

- She feels betrayed, I think.

- All her side pieces feel betrayed.

- Yeah.

- Mike's in a weird position because those guys

came to him.

- Yeah.

- And I guess he could have just said, like, nah,

I'm not touching that, whatever.

- He's like an information guy, like,

don't sh**t the messenger type deal.

That's the messenger right there.

Did he have to tell us?

Of course he did.

He tells us everything. - Right.

It's like giving information to the press, you know?

Like, you know he's going to blast it out there.

- Yep.

- You know, he's like a [bleep] promo company.

- I'm going to give him my flyers for the gigs.

- Yeah, like, everyone would know about it, like yo, Mike.

I'm at Chippendale's this weekend.

- ♪ You not want to fight me ♪

♪ I fight back ♪

♪ Go ahead, bite me ♪

♪ Well, I'll bite back ♪

- Wonderful.

I don't even know how I deal with this [bleep].

I think I'm going to text Mike.

- I don't have to be politically correct here.

The [bleep] guy got involved in my marriage.

That's it. Point blank.

End of story. That's it.

I'm done.

So much [bleep] going on.

Let's address it.

- ♪ Go ahead bite me ♪

♪ Well, I bite back ♪

♪ Wish they would ♪

♪ Ooh, I want it bad ♪

♪ Wind me up ♪

♪ Watch my eyes go black ♪

- I haven't spoken to Angelina.

She hasn't spoken to anyone of the squad.

And now she texts out of the blue.

- Hey, look.

This is Mike.

This is coming from Mike now.

- What's it about? - What do you think?

- She might be a little pissed at The Investigations,

you know what I mean?

[bell dings]

- I have no time for this drama.

I just want to have a good [bleep] time.

- Hey. Cheers!

Cheers to that.

- Cheers to a good [bleep] time.

- I'm so proud of you.

I love you so much.

- Love you.

Bye.

- Jenni crushed the speech.

- She's so nervous, and then she just always kills it.

- I think, though, that maybe you

should just sit down with Angelina,

get this whole thing over with.

Conversation has to be had.

So there's no, like, no awkward lingering in the background.

- Maybe Nicole will do it with me this time.

- ♪ Keep my head up, gotta move forward ♪

♪ No, I won't give up for no one ♪

♪ Can't look back ♪

- Oh, great.

Now Deena and Nicole want to have a sit-down with me.

All these [bleep] sit-downs.

Like, I guess it's sit-down week.

Whoo, can't wait.

[dramatic music]

- ♪ I'll be the last one standing, standing ♪

♪ I'll be the last one standing, standing ♪

- Hi, Peanut. Wait, I got to close this door

because I don't trust you.

Tonight Mike's come over.

But first, I am actually going to have a lunch with Deena

and Nicole for the first time since they brought

our [bleep] onto social media.

Bye, Peanut.

- ♪ I'll be the last one standing ♪

♪ Today is my day ♪ - How are you?

- I'm all right.

- ♪ I'll be the last one standing ♪

- Where's my drank?

[upbeat music]

- OK.

Walking into this lunch, I am very angry.

- I hope she's not coming in hot.

- Like, I want to hear, like, what do they know about Chris?

What did he say?

And why did they put all of our [bleep] on social media

when we all promised each other we wouldn't bring

[bleep] to social media anymore?

And here we are.

- Oh, god.

- What the [bleep] is this?

- I did believe you did leak the speech.

- Mike is getting us all stirred up.

- You don't know what the [bleep] I'm going through.

- I want to run away.

[dramatic music]

- So much for not drinking today.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- Cheers.

- Oh god.

- Hi.

My voice is a little bad. - Oh, hey.

- Are you sick? - No.

- OK.

- I have, like, allergies really bad, so don't mind it.

- You sound like an old lady.

You sound terrible. - Did you walk here?

- No. - Do you want a martini?

- I need something.

- I haven't talked to Ang since, obviously,

after everything went down.

- So...

- And obviously, you know, there's

an elephant in the room.

We have to talk, but I feel like Angelina's nose

looks great.

- Like, I'm just going to get to it.

Why are you guys mad?

I just wanted to know.

- So, as you know, Mike had talked to Chris or whatever.

I'm sure you know about that.

Then we heard Chris say he has receipts that you were the one

that leaked the speech.

- Yeah, so when we heard all the stuff from Mike,

it brought up a lot of emotions.

And then we see all these articles happening.

I was a little upset with you, and I was more hurt,

I think.

So we did the tweet, and I was like,

why am I even tweeting this?

- I was blindsided.

My Twitter is going off, and I'm like,

what the [bleep] is this?

These tweets from the meatballs and Jenni,

they were very hurtful to me.

How come you guys didn't text me,

hey, like, Chris is telling Mike that,

like, you leaked the speech?

Is it [bleep] true?

- You know, Mike kind of got us a little riled up.

- I'm very hurt that the meatballs--

and Jenni is included also--

that they would actually go ahead and just believe Chris.

No call to me.

No text to me.

I mean, we are going through a messy divorce.

Why would you believe somebody you hardly even know?

- Like, I'm sitting here dealing

with this [bleep] kid that's, like, literally

telling you guys [bleep].

And then you got Mike over here, taking the bait.

Chris is giving him the bait, and he's taking it.

- We just believed the speech.

- I did believe you did leak the speech.

- Yeah. - Why?

- I don't know.

Because you hated us.

- Yeah.

You said, I get the last laugh.

- You being mad is not hurting them.

It's hurting you.

- I will get the last laugh.

- But again, like, nobody came to me, which I'm upset about.

I'm like, come on.

We had the Dr. Drew [bleep].

- You're trying to deal with this social media thing.

- If I say that I'm never going to go on social media,

I want the same respect. - What do you think?

- No, I won't take it to social media.

I'm never going to be the one that's,

like, the first one on social media to disrespect somebody.

- We're sorry that that happened.

- Yeah. We should not have tweeted.

That was really immature of us.

Like, I take full responsibility for that.

It should have been like, did you really

[bleep] leak the speech? - Yeah.

I would have [bleep] looked at that text

and been like, [bleep] that.

No, I didn't [bleep] leak it.

And that would have been it.

- I know in my heart of hearts that Angelina

was so upset at us that she leaked the speech.

I would love for her to admit it,

but you know, girl, it is what it is.

Like, Ang, I'm sorry I tweeted that,

but, like, let's just all move on

and never talk about this again.

- We handled it, like we said, the wrong way.

And we regret it, and, you know, moving forward,

it's not-- we're not going to go to Twitter.

Sorry, girl. - Yeah.

- We were babies.

- I actually did not expect the meatballs to apologize to me,

and I'm happy that they, you know, said sorry to me.

I deserved a sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I deserved a sorry.

- We shouldn't have did that. - I know.

- I was like, yeah, we are stupid.

- Why would we do that?

- Did Jenni tell you guys to tweet that, like,

let's all tweet it?

- No. - Nicole.

- Stop looking at me. - I know.

- Why are you looking at me?

- I know Jenni told you guys to do it.

- No, she didn't.

- There's been many, many, many situations that the girls

have actually said, Jenni had no involvement

in this situation. No.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

And then come to find out, Jenni actually has

had part in those situations.

So you know, it's very hard to trust her.

I've got to tell you.

You got to understand, like, why

I thought that because there's that text.

- Yeah.

- I feel bad for Chris.

- He might be there, and he might

be the one that's taking the [bleep] picture,

for all I know.

- I just asked Chris if he's in Mexico.

- Zack texted to Chris and said, how's Mexico, bro?

And he knew Chris wasn't in Mexico.

Why would you do that?

- I think this is a conversation

you have to have with her.

- I am, but I'm explaining to you guys

what I'm going to say.

Mike is a whole nother beast.

Mike was on Twitter, full force, like, let's do it.

Like, what dirt you got on her?

- We didn't know that.

- What receipts you got on her? Oh no.

I got all the [bleep] receipts in my phone.

- Can I see his messages?

- Yeah.

- I just want to see what's happening.

- "Tell me more."

- That's weird.

- I don't know how Chris and Mike spoke.

I don't know how that came about.

- He must have reached out because I don't think

Mike reached out. - Oh, let me show you that.

On Twitter, Mike's, like, making appointments

to, like, talk to Chris.

Chris, call me back at, like, :.

- See, that I don't know.

- Yeah, we didn't know that.

- I just feel like, you know, everybody should

just stay in their lane.

- You have all the receipts.

I mean, he wasn't trying to hide it.

- But Mike has been swerving all over the road.

Mike has not been staying in his lane.

- Then there's more.

- "So you can DM and we can start this party."

- Let's start this party?

- I need another drink.

- He knows that he stirred this whole [bleep] thing up.

- [sighs]

[upbeat funky music]

- Mike is a whole nother beast.

He knows that he stirred this whole [bleep] thing up.

- I'm like, what is happening?

Mike just went crazy with this whole thing.

And he got messy.

And he got too deep.

It just-- it doesn't make sense to me.

- Why are you calling it a party?

You don't know what the [bleep] I'm going through.

I don't care if you think I cheated on my husband

with [bleep] guys.

That does not give you the right

to call this-- to let this kid call you, you call him,

and you guys sh**t the [bleep], and you're, like, best friends

with him and you're listening to every [bleep]

little God-given word he's giving you?

- Wow, so this is getting really messy, huh?

- It's getting grimy. - It's going to be messy.

- ♪ You got a problem, then get it fixed ♪

♪ Try to take what I got ♪

♪ You can't win ♪

♪ You say you want to get better ♪

♪ Then check the mirror then ♪

- Hey, honey.

- What are you doing?

- Oh, all right.

I'm going over to Angeliners'.

She wants to sit down and--

- You know what?

There is a lot of drama, and you don't refuse to sit-down.

- So this sit-down needs to happen.

Am I excited about it?

Not so much because I know her nickname

is Hurricane Angeliners.

And I know right now her life is extremely messy.

- Wish me luck, honey.

I'm going in raw dog.

- I love you. Bye.

- Bye.

- Have you spoke to Mike?

- Yeah.

He's telling me, oh, I have no problems with you.

And then I messaged Lauren.

And Lauren's like, it's not our fault that people

come to us with this.

That's his whole MO. "I didn't do anything.

People come to me with these things."

- But I think Chris reached out to Mike.

- It doesn't matter who reached--

like, the fact that, like, he's taking phone calls from him,

and he's literally, like, spewing it out to you guys

and, like, riling you guys up.

- We're always in the middle.

- Is Mike, The Situation, a changed man?

I don't know anymore.

- You know, we make jokes.

There's old Mike and new Mike.

And this pot that Mike has stirred up is, like, huge.

Like, yo, stop stirring it so fast, Mike.

Relax. - He is backtracking.

- Why? What's happening? - Why?

- Because he's trying to text me now,

tell me he sent me Lauren's skincare launch.

- I'm gonna do a skincare launch party.

- OK.

- But since Angelina blocked me--

- Yeah.

- --should I invite someone who blocked me?

- Just send the invite as a gesture.

She doesn't have to accept it.

She doesn't have to come.

- Are you going?

- I don't know.

I don't know.

I'm like, you really want me to go to that, like,

doesn't your wife not like me?

He's like, no.

- I'm so confused.

- He always likes my pictures on Instagram.

It'll be, like, me sitting there,

and he'll, like, put, like, heart face--

heart eye emojis.

Look at this picture of me.

- Why is he sending those emojis?

- This is weird because it's like, you know, in group chat,

like, Mike will show us, like, everything he's talked

about with the exes and say how messy

her life is and, like, she's cheating, and she's wrong.

- Why is he [bleep] heart eyes emojing my [bleep]--

- Well, we didn't know you guys were speaking.

- But how can you also be liking all of her pictures

and inviting Angelina to the skincare launch

and then talk so badly about her?

It just doesn't make sense to me.

- He needs to learn that he can't [bleep] do this anymore.

He's a [bleep] gaslighter.

He's trying to do "Matrix" [bleep], and it's

not happening no more.

- Listen, we're staying out of this.

- And Jenni too.

- Mike is sitting here, getting us all stirred up.

- I want to run away.

- And he's the one that did all of this.

- This is too messy.

This is a dumpster fire.

I'm sending it to the squad right

now because I am shooketh.

- Like, he literally opened this can of worms,

and now he's trying to shut it, but the worms

are just coming out, Mike.

- How can I ever trust Mike again?

- You're going to have to have a conversation with him

about that. - He's got to stop.

Mike doesn't respect me, but today,

I'm going to make sure he respects me

because I'm [bleep] done.

- [groans]

- You need to [bleep] stop getting involved

in people's lives. - Let's be real.

You had multiple side pieces.

And then you're mad at everybody

for finding out that you're [bleep]

cheating with everybody.

- [bleep] all of you then.

- I need to take a step back because it's

affecting my whole life.

It's not worth it.

- What are you, [bleep] delusional?

[all screaming]

- It's too much.