05x29 - Vin Day

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

- It's Vin Day, everybody.

Finally, a day to celebrate me.

I'm planning a once in a lifetime event.

[bleep] Family Fun Day. It's Vin Day, b*tch.

V-Day.

It's a party for me.

- What about drinking? Can we drink wine?

- I don't drink wine. - Oh, my God.

- Vinny and his stupid day.

I'm drinking today because you are not my boss.

You're not the President of the United States of America.

Get the [bleep] out of here.

- What's the opposite of a party?

- Hell.

[upbeat music]

- Yeah, buddy!

- Party's here!

- The Situation is under construction.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here. You crazy?

- Um, hello?

♪ ♪

- ♪ Yeah, I'm a all-star, yeah ♪

♪ All-star, all-star ♪ - ♪ Guard me ♪

♪ I'm an all-star in every sport ♪

♪ Yeah ♪ - ♪ Bases loaded ♪

- Knowing Vinny, this will be a marathon of miserable.

[upbeat music]

- This vacation has started to come to an end,

and we've done a lot of different activities

and a bunch of mom things, and I'm tired of it.

No one's going to throw me a party,

so it's time to take matters into my own hands.

Vin Day is going to blow all of Deena's plans

out of the water. - Oh, my God.

♪ ♪

- Oh, I knew it. - Whoo!

Welcome to jump rope class. - God!

- Yeah, I'm not doing that, chooch.

- I'm kind of now regretting not throwing this guy a party.

- Let's all just spread apart a little bit and jump.

- I have an internal injury.

- I feel like I'm in gym class.

- I'm not--like, I don't think I'm, like, doing this.

This is something I would never want to do,

but, like, whoever dates Vinny in the future,

you're going to have to jump rope every single day

for your whole entire life.

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God. - What are you doing?

Are you in the circus?

- He doesn't even know what he's doing.

- Oh, and he's going to jump rope.

- Oh, my God, he's jump roping. Oh, my God.

- What if I start not feeling good?

I'm a little hung over. - Yeah!

♪ ♪

Yeah, Pauly.

♪ ♪

- Look at me! Look at me!

- Dee, you're doing a great job.

- [laughs] - Pick up the pace.

High knees. High knees.

- I'm done. I'm done.

Ugh. I'm done.

I need a drink of coffee.

- We need to get coffee cups.

Look, it looks like coffee.

We're going to need another bottle.

- Come on, Dee.

- I mean, this has got to be the most [bleep] boring thing

I've ever seen in my life.

I would rather clean up my cat's [bleep] off my wall

than to jump rope with Vinny today.

- All right, everybody, I hope you

enjoyed that first activity.

I know it was a ton of fun. But guess what?

There's more fun happening now.

Because the next activity is ready.

Follow me. - Oh, my God.

Am I going to raise my heart rate?

Is my heart rate going to go big--like, up?

- You know I love working out, right?

- Yeah. - And I also like drinking.

We're going to be drinking while we work out.

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God! - This is terrible.

You are, like, the actual worst.

- We have to pedal.

So as you take in the calories, you also burn them.

- What about drinking? Can we drink wine?

- I don't drink wine. - Oh, my God.

- Babe, I'm not pedaling.

- Everybody can drink as long as you work it off?

What do you want?

You want me to jog while chugging alcohol?

Like, what sorcery of hell is this?

- All right, guys, let's pedal. - Is there an engine?

Whoa! - Wow.

- Cool! - This is the worst.

- This is sick! - Can this thing do a wheelie?

- Oh, my God, we're going to crash.

- I feel like this is some kind of

guido triathlon right now.

We're, like, jump roping. We're going to go on a run.

We're going to take a bike. What's next, a boat?

- One and two, and one and two. - Oh, my God.

all: Vin Day! Vin Day! - Come on!

all: Vin Day!

- Before we go inside, who's taking

my first Instagram picture? - Yeah, here.

- But remember, whoever takes the best one--

- Oh, this is, like, a competition?

- Yeah.

I will be asking multiple people to take pictures of me.

And the person that takes the best picture of me

will get a photo credit on my Instagram page.

All right. - Smile.

Ooh, wow. - There's no smiling allowed.

- Right. Are we done?

[buzzer blares]

- All right, let's go inside.

- We gotta toast to Vin Day, man.

- Yeah.

- Oh, my God, I think I like Vin Day.

♪ ♪

- Ew. - Vin Day.

- Ew. - Vin Day.

- This [bleep] orders us ginger shots.

- [coughs]

- Oh, [bleep], that one's strong.

- Ooh. - Heh.

Tastes good. - Here, take mine.

- Usually, they're spicier.

- That's kind of spicy itself. - Less ginger.

- I don't like it.

It kind of tastes like Earth, like,

what the Earth would taste like--

dirt, and worms, and spice.

It's, like, gross.

- It burns, man.

- Part of Vin Day is that you don't want

to eat because you're worried about your body.

- Vin Day sucks! - I'll be right back.

I am so hungry right now,

but I guess this is on brand for Vin Day,

to be just as miserable as him.

You guys have any food here? - We do.

- What type of food?

Because see, the thing is, I can't have you

bring it to that table. - OK.

- Because this man, he's not allowing any carbs.

- OK. - All right?

- The first rule is no carbs today.

all: No!

- Let's do the chicken fingers, the French fries.

Let me have a diet soda over there, and the pretzel.

No carbs, no sugar? Come on, my guy.

Oh, wow.

That is a quality tender.

- Where's Mike? - I don't know.

- These are quality shoestring fries right here.

- So we did a lot, guys.

Anyone else want a recap, or is it just me?

- Just you.

- I'm going to have to--

I'm gonna have to tell my wife.

- All right, I'll be right back.

I'm going to go to the bathroom.

- What he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

- Guys, where's Mike and Lauren?

- Doing sex in the bathroom.

- Couple more bites, and then we got to sneak back in there.

- Are they doing a quickie for real?

- If Mike and Lauren conceive a baby on Vin Day...

- Did you guys just have a baby-making session?

- They got to name the baby Vinny.

Why-- - Oh, my God, they did.

- Listen, I'd better be pregnant

after all those baby-making sessions--

- Why is Lauren's hair messed up?

- Wait, did you really just have a baby-making session?

- All right, guys, we have more activities to do.

- Whoo! - Let's go.

- Boo. We hate Vin Day.

- We hate it.

♪ ♪

- ♪ I came to play ♪

- All right, guys, so Fairweather is right there.

- Are we here? - We are here.

This is it.

We're going to go to Fairweather,

which is right up over there.

All right, guys, who's taking my next picture?

Because this is a good background right here.

- I'll take your picture. - Deena?

All right.

Zack, you're in my picture. - Zack!

- Oh, my God. - You guys are in my picture.

- This man says, "Just take a photo of me.

You're in my shot."

- So yeah, you guys, there's a good stadium

in the background. - Really, my guy?

- ♪ So take a picture, take a picture ♪

♪ Snap, snap, snap ♪

- ♪ This the sound, this the sound ♪

♪ Of the pack, pack, pack ♪

♪ So take my picture ♪

- All right, I don't know.

[buzzer blares]

- Dee, that would be a great picture if Vin wasn't in it.

- All right, guys, let's get ready for the next activity.

- We're leaving. We're leaving.

- Can I get a to-go cup? - Save--can I have one too?

- All right, guys, so you guys know that one of my activities

that I love is hiking, right? - Oh, yeah.

- Well, no more bike car. - We're not biking.

- We're walking.

- Aw, I thought we were going to go on a hike.

- Aw.

- This day couldn't get any worse.

After you pedaled, now you've got to hike it.

The man is the opposite of fun.

- You didn't want to pay for the extra hour?

- Nah. - Where are we walking to?

- We're going back to the hotel.

♪ ♪

- We're here.

- Best part of Vin Day is it's almost over.

- [laughs]

- We have a dinner planned for tonight.

I just need everybody

to just stay in your shirts, OK?

Because the day's not over yet.

- Get the [bleep] out of here.

I'm not going to a dinner or, like, out somewhere

tonight wearing this [bleep].

- I'm going to go stretch and meditate in my room.

- You mean [bleep].

[laughter]

- Stretch, and then-- - Are you serious?

- Chooch! - Stretching it.

- Chooch! - Try and tell--

- Who stretches in the middle of the day and meditates?

- Vin Day sucks. - It's so draining.

- And this guy wonders why we never have a party for him.

- Guys, you all have to-- you all have to admit

I'm a better planner than Vinny.

- At least your shirts, we only gotta wear

for a few minutes. - Exactly.

- I have swamp a*s right now.

I have to leave my [bleep]-- - Oh!

[groans]

- [bleep] pants on 'cause of [bleep] Day?

I'm pissed. - All right, on that note.

- On that note. - No, I'm sweating, though.

I have to--no, I really-- - On that note.

- [speaking through megaphone] Angelina got swamp a*s,

so I'm going to take a shower.

- I don't want to wear my swamp a*s pants all night.

I smell.

♪ ♪

Let me know what he says.

♪ ♪

[knocks]

- Come in. - Vin?

- Yep. - [laughs]

So I was talking to some of the others,

and we were discussing what if we continued with Vin Day,

but we didn't wear the shirts?

But we could wear our new outfit.

- Even on Vin Day, I can't get what I want.

They are so lame.

Fine, you can take the shirts off.

- Thank you. - No problem.

- Cool. - Thank God.

Praise Lord Jesus.

- "Hey, guys, you can wear whatever you want tonight."

- Whoo! Thank God.

- [grunts] [hisses]

- Oh...

- Let's go to dinner, babe. - My--goodbye.

- ♪ I'mma be in town, town ♪

♪ For only one night, night ♪

♪ Yeah, leave the drama outside, side ♪

♪ We not tryna fight ♪

- All right, now look at me.

Oh, my God, amazing.

- I made up. Missed you so much.

- Hi, Dee. You look beautiful with dinner.

- Thank you.

- It's our last night.

- Last night, and Vinny's planning it.

- They on the balcony? - Yeah.

- Vin, the skyline is nice right now.

Would you like a photo? - Oh, yeah.

So who's taking my next one? - Hurry up.

- Let's go.

- All right, this is a Lauren one?

- Give me the phone. - All right.

- Wow. - One and done.

- Oh, yeah?

- That's a really good one.

[buzzer blares]

- All right, guys, listen up.

So part of Vin Day is also cheating.

So we're cheating on our diets tonight,

and we're eating carbs. - Hey!

- Hey! - Carbs on carbs on carbs.

- That's what I'm talking about.

- Where are we going?

- We're going to the carb place.

Carbs are here.

[chuckles, groans]

- Dad joke.

- Pauly, you do it.

- Carbs are here. - There it is.

- [laughs]

- Last day in San Diego.

Stay classy, b*tches.

- I'm the best party planner ever!

[all cheering]

Hey, let's go!

- We're going to cheat on our significant others.

- Oh, hell yeah.

[knocks]

Who is it? - What are you doing?

[dramatic music]

- Ooh. - Oh, my God.

♪ ♪

[upbeat electronic music]

- We're going to a place called Salvatore's.

- Hey, who's Salvatore?

♪ ♪

all: Vin Day! Vin Day!

- Whoo-hoo!

- I told everybody that Vin Day was going to be a slow burn,

and you're going to work your way up to the fun-ness.

So we are having an Italian cheat meal tonight.

- Vin Day, my guy.

- Yeah.

I'm excited because it's not just going to be,

like, a boring, like, family dinner.

This is going to be, like,

a lit, like, dinner party dinner.

Oh, hell yeah. It is a vibe.

The lighting is right. The drinks are flowing.

There's a good atmosphere in here.

Yo, those girls are hot.

I'll take one of each, tapas style.

Now, we need to get ratchet.

- Oh, my. Oh!

- Yeah! - Yay!

[all cheering]

- I have a lot of parties to catch up with.

We're throwing this party for someone

that really, really, really deserves it.

We want, like, bottle girls, sparklers.

I want a presentation for every course or meal that comes out.

- OK, we can do that.

all: Vin Day! Vin Day!

Vin Day! Vin Day!

- So every time food comes out, send that [bleep] sparkler

and sign in, OK? - Vin Day!

I like this part of Vin Day.

- Here's to Vinny! - Lemon drop.

- Salud to you, chooch. - Cheers.

- Ooh. - Oh, vodka.

- Definitely no sugar in that.

Another one. - All right.

- Hey! - Hey!

all: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! - Another one!

all: Vin Day! Vin Day!

Vin Day! Vin Day!

- It's cheat night, baby. Bottoms up.

Here we go, guys. - What's good?

- Get it, Vinny! - Carbs! Carbs! Carbs!

- Not only is Vinny drinking alcohol,

but he's also eating carbs.

Yes, get it, Vin.

Yeah, I like this Vinny. - I love this Vinny.

- Cheater!

- After all these years, my man Vinny

finally figured out how

to eat the pizza the right way.

You look up the most a*s way

to eat a pizza in the dictionary,

it's... - Vinny.

- That.

No, for real, like, does anybody have a dictionary?

- This guy eats six slices

with straight pepperoni and cheese.

- They're, like, two slices in one.

- Chicken parm. - Oh, it's an amazing Vin Day.

- You're really turning this day around, Vin.

- Here we go again. - Vin Day!

all: Vin Day!

- Come on, guys, with some emphasis.

all: Vin Day! Vin Day!

- These [bleep] Vin Day signs are a bit much.

He needs to get over himself.

We all know that Vinny's obsessed with me,

but, like, Vinny's way more obsessed with himself.

And tonight is the night that I'm seeing it

firsthand, a lot.

♪ ♪

What the [bleep]?

[all cheering]

- Now, I'm happy. [cheering]

all: Vin Day! Vin Day!

Vin Day! Vin Day!

- Oh, thank you. - Vin Day!

- What the [bleep]?

- All right, Vin, this is awesome.

- Whoo!

- Fire dancer is so--

I mean, I don't know

how she doesn't light her hair on fire.

She's eating the fire. She's dancing with the fire.

This girl is, like, a dragon.

[all cheering]

- That's wild. - Oh!

[all cheering]

- That was gadzooks! - Yeah!

[all cheering]

- Wow. That was fire.

- Yeah, that was fire, man. - That was fire.

- Deena, I'm the best party planner.

- Listen, you're-- this is good.

- I don't know. We started off rocky.

- It's not a ghost tour. - I'm giving you props.

This is Deena approved.

- Hey! - This is Deena approved.

- From the queen. From the queen herself.

Deena is giving me props for my planning skills,

which means a ton

coming from Lady Pinterest herself.

- I like this place.

[clinking glass]

- All right, all right, all right.

- Speech!

- Seeing that it's Vin Day and all,

my man never really gets a day,

never really gets a party, so I just want to say

a couple of things about this guy,

but I want to take it way back to the day that we met.

We went to the club.

Somebody bothered him, so I punched him in the face.

- Hey, Paul, chill, chill. Chill, chill.

It only takes nine pounds of pressure to break a nose.

All these years later, I'm bro-mitted to this guy.

- Yes, sir.

- He's the best side piece a man could ask for.

- Yep. - To Vinny.

- To Vinny. - Love you, bro.

- To Vinny. - Vinny, I love you.

Love you. [laughter]

- It's been a pleasure to be your sister-wife.

Hi, Vin. - Hi, main chick.

- [laughs]

[laughter]

- Oh!

- Yo, I hate when the side piece

and the main piece fight. - Love you, Nikki.

- Cheers. - Salud.

Salud. Salud.

- I just want to say, even though you're

a pain in my a*s... - Wow, thanks.

Way to start off the speech.

- I hope in the future, you find a hot b*tch

that you want to [bleep]. - Yay!

- Cheers to you, Vin. - Thank you.

- I love you so much.

I feel like we do have a special bond here.

- Love you too. - Salud.

- We love you dearly,

and we are so, so [bleep] proud of everything

you've accomplished... - Yes.

- And we know sky's the [bleep] limit, brother.

- You are the brother I never wanted,

but I am so thankful to have. I love you dearly.

And I'm your number one fan. - Aw.

- Aw. [all cheering]

- Oh, damn. That hit me in the feels.

This is so sweet and so touching.

Like, even though today,

I had to throw myself this party,

hearing everybody say something nice about me

is honestly unbelievable.

I know I annoy everybody every second of the day,

but I do it out of love.

And just hearing you all speak right now, like,

it means, like, a lot.

Like, I'm in my feelings a little bit.

- Aw. - And...

- Chooch. - I love you guys.

Like, I love you guys so much. - Yay!

[all cheering] - I love you guys.

- Happy birthday!

[all cheering]

all: Vin Day! Vin Day!

Vin Day! Vin Day!

Vin Day! Vin Day!

- We all know this squad loves to give speeches,

but the heartfelt ones, we're really, really good at,

and I feel that the squad really wanted to let Vin know

that we love him.

- All right, ladies and gentlemen,

Vin Day is not over.

We started out by cheating on our diets,

and now, we're going to cheat on our significant others.

We're going to the strip club.

[all cheering] - Let's go!

Hey! - Hey!

all: Vin Day! Vin Day!

Vin Day! Vin Day!

- Oh, [bleep] me.

all: Vin Day! - Come on, Vin.

all: Vin Day!

- Cheers to Vinny. - Whoo!

- Go, Vinny. [all cheering]

- We love you. - This is nice, Vin.

Nice party bus. Deena approved.

The night is Deena approved. The day, not so much.

- Ugh. - Vin Day!

Vin Day! - How is it?

- Vin Day sucks. - Well, no more bike car.

- We're not biking. - We're walking.

- Aw, damn.

- Cheers to Vinny. - Whoo!

- Go, Vinny. - Whoo!

- We are heading to a strip club.

- Yeah, we already talked. - Shake on it.

And, for me, it's like brakes--

like... [mimics tires screeching]

Because Zack has never gone to one ever.

Just made Zack solidify the fact that he can't get mad

at me at the strip club.

I, on the other hand, I live my best life.

I have my moments.

- Jenni turns up at the strip club.

Jenni--that's when Jenni turns alive.

That's when Jenni turns to JWOWW.

- ♪ When I step up, and I wash it down ♪

- Whoo!

- I don't know if Zack's ready to see that side of me,

but at the same time, I drank, like, tequilas,

so I am ready.

- ♪ Yeah, they know this pressure ♪

- We're here. We're here.

- Whoo!

all: Vin Day! Vin Day!

- What is happening?

Let's go!

- Let's roll. - Vin Day!

Vin Day! Vin Day!

- Oh, hell yeah. - Oh, wow.

OK, Vinny.

- Oh, [bleep].

- Smells like a strip club up in here, mang.

- Smells like cigarettes and regret.

- Check, check, check.

Welcome to Vin Day, everybody.

I'm the best [bleep] party planner ever!

[all cheering]

We're twerking tonight.

No wineries, no ghost tours.

Love you, Deena.

It's [bleep] Vin Day. Let's go!

[upbeat music]

- Whoa. Hey, look at that.

- Oh! That's a big face.

Gotta record that.

- ♪ Whoa, she got her back ♪

- Vinny's like, "I want to take it home."

Of course you do.

You want to [bleep] hang it on your wall

and [bleep] to it too. I know.

We all know that.

♪ Hit the lights, keep it dim ♪

- Definitely the only head Vinny's getting tonight.

- What's your name?

- You're Angelina. And what's your name?

- Brenda!

- Oh, my God, Angelina, her name's Angelina,

and her name is Brenda.

- So I don't know how it's possible,

but I feel like I'm in an alternate universe.

One's named after me,

and one's named after my vag*na.

- That's the name of her vag*na.

- Brenda?

- Brenda, yeah, yeah. - This is great.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Have it loose, now I'm made ♪

♪ Talking that worth all the jewels in the ♪

- Whoo!

- ♪ They talking just to talk ♪

♪ You see it on my face ♪

- Hey!

As a happily married man,

BDS approaches the strip club...

- ♪ Shiver down your spine when they mention me ♪

- You look, but you can't touch.

That's all. - Yeah, Lauren!

- Whoa. - Hey.

- But my wife can touch if she wants to.

Nobody gonna see this, you know what I'm saying?

[chuckles] Everybody's seeing this.

♪ ♪

Honey!

- Yes, Lauren, living her best life.

Get it, girl.

- What's happening, honey?

- Yeah, Lauren.

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God. This is happening.

This is happening right now.

- Yeah, let's cheat on our spouses.

- [laughs]

- Yeah, Lauren!

Hey.

Yeah, Angelina, get it!

That's what you need-- girls, you know?

♪ ♪

- ♪ Twerk something for a real one ♪

♪ He want to see that booty jiggle, and then some ♪

♪ It's the weekend, so you know we got ♪

- Yeah!

I love strip clubs.

I am like a kid in a candy store.

You're beautiful.

Love it out here.

♪ ♪

Hi, Vin.

Total mind [bleep] for Zack. I feel like he's nervous.

It's his first time.

He doesn't want to be disrespectful.

And then you have me, the fiancée,

that's just drooling and gallivanting through

the whole [bleep] strip club.

♪ Not goin' back, huh? ♪

♪ Ain't goin' back, huh? ♪

- Aw, this is Zack's first time at a strip club.

Aw.

[chuckles] Baby.

- ♪ She a stallion ♪

- Oh, my God.

[laughs]

- I don't even know what to do.

I don't know.

Zack should be a little nervous.

Jenni's really enjoying herself

with the stripper right here.

- You've never seen a more stiff person than Zack

in a strip club, and not stiff in a good way.

- ♪ Everybody love her, she ain't got no beef ♪

[air horn blaring]

- I think Zack's just awkward, poor thing.

So I'm just going to give him a little lap dance

so he just is protected, and there's boundaries up.

- Stripper Jenni! Stripper Jenni!

♪ ♪

- Yep.

- Strip clubs are real sentimental for me and Nikki.

After the second time around on "Double Shot,"

we didn't really talk to each other.

Hi, Nikki. How are you?

♪ ♪

- Awkward.

- It took going to a strip club for us

to actually break the ice and have a real conversation.

We broke up. It was ugly.

- I'm mad at you. You have to make up.

Let's just turn a new leaf.

OK?

- A'ight.

- [laughs] I hate you.

♪ ♪

- I fell in love in a strip club.

[laughs]

- ♪ I got hella bands, hella bands ♪

♪ I got hella bands ♪

- The lighting in here is fire for Instagram pictures.

- You have more money? Because I might be able to--

I might be able to get a shot of you--

- If it's not on the Gram, it didn't happen.

- ♪ We ought to make them French kiss, French kiss ♪

♪ You sneak this, well, that's some dip ♪

♪ Lotto ticket, quick pick ♪

♪ Your baby mama call me when she wants some quick ♪

[bell ringing]

- I've got to give it to Nikki and Chris.

The pictures are fire, OK?

Exactly what I wanted.

This is the perfect way to end a good night.

But I'm proud of my roommates

for sticking it out and having a good time.

It's probably one of the most epic nights that we ever had.

♪ ♪

♪ Let me tell you what I'm about to do ♪

♪ Hit the stage ♪

- I don't know why, but, like, strip clubs

have always been a bonding experience for all of us.

- We're leaving a bowling alley,

walking to a strip club.

- Only in Jersey. - Whoo!

- We got Snooki on the main stage.

- Whoo!

- Yo, yo, DJ, stop the [bleep] music.

- I gotta go. I gotta go.

- ♪ I'm feeling good ♪

♪ I'm feeling right ♪

♪ Aviator status, we ain't have to book a flight ♪

- [cheering]

[air horn blaring]

- ♪ We out of here ♪

- Yo, yo, DJ, stop the [bleep] music.

- I just want everybody to know...

- I gotta go. I gotta go.

- That I am so [bleep] single right now.

[all cheering]

- Angelina, no one cares about your vag*na

and that you're single in this strip club.

- And I'm single, and I'm [bleep] gonna have

a hot girl [bleep] summer. - Oh, [bleep].

[all cheering]

- I don't think Angelina has ever

not had a hot girl summer.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Let me get some hand sanitizer, man.

- Yo, put that on my [bleep]. - Ew.

♪ ♪

- ♪ I'm way too high, living my life ♪

♪ All the naysayers, tell them bye-bye ♪

- Hey, that was fun, guys. - I had a great time.

- Strip clubs make everyone happy.

- Vin Day...

- It was good. It was a good night.

- Sucked! But the end of it was dope.

- Yeah, it was-- - The ending was dope.

- Vin Day was terrible, but--

- Vin Day was litty as [bleep].

- Vin Day was terrible, but Vin night was popping.

- The end of it was dope.

- All right, well, it was a slow build,

you know what I'm saying?

Vin Day was so fun, honestly.

- I had the best V-Day ever.

I had the best [bleep] time of my life.

- I got my first lap dance in a strip club by you.

- Yo, babe.

Vinny, I love you. - Thank you.

Love you.

- Vin, I have to tell you you got Deena approved.

- Yeah!

- Don't give him any more [bleep]--

- Not for the day. - Just for the night.

- But for the night. - That's it.

- Vin Day was lit.

I'm going to go DM that stripper right now.

No, I'm just kidding.

- Where are we going, my room? - Your room.

Oh, my God, your room's a mess. Ew.

Why do you, like, leave your oatmeal out?

- I don't know. - Disgust.

- I am a slob, I must admit.

- [laughs] - Thanks.

You--you really helped me out.

- How are you feeling about everything?

Like, when you get home, like, what's your plan?

- I think it was always hard for me to, like,

let go of relationships, you know what I mean,

because of everything I went through in my life.

But this is a marriage.

Like, it's harder for me. - Yeah, for sure.

- So that day, like, whenever I have to sign that paper,

I just-- I feel it.

I know it might be very emotional.

- When that day does come, like, me,

Jenni, and Nicole are completely there for you.

So if you need us, we're, like, just a call away.

- Thanks.

This vacation, being alone without Chris

was an emotional roller coaster for me.

There were good days. There were really bad days.

There were days where I did wish that

I had somebody there for me.

And I guess back to the drawing board I go.

- You're going to be living your best life.

- [breathes deeply]

My next chapter, I just can only hope for the best.

I don't really know what's in my future.

Thank you for being there for me.

- Of course, girl.

- During everything, like, I was just--you and Chris

are amazing, for real. - Good night.

- Hopefully, there will be a nice guy down the road.

♪ ♪

I feel like I have stripper smell on me.

Do I smell like a stripper?

I think I do.

I feel like I look like a stripper.

- They doubted my a*s,

but you can't go wrong with t*tties,

you know what I mean?

- He planned his own birthday party,

or his own party, which is kind of sad,

but it was fun.

Yay, get it! [cheering]

Ah, [bleep], I'm horny.

Tonight was so much fun.

I'm not ready to stop the party.

- ♪ Yeah, you got me, you got me ♪

♪ You got me right where ♪

♪ You want, where you want ♪

♪ Yeah, your love is so amazing ♪

♪ We're breaking all the rules tonight ♪

- This is what happens when you drink.

[knocking]

- Who is it?

- Vin Day, it started off really sucky,

but it didn't turn out that bad.

- So I'm in my underwear right now

when Angelina shows up.

- What are you doing? - I don't know.

She's a little drunk. I'm a little drunk.

We were just in a strip club.

- ♪ I never, never thought ♪

♪ I'd be the one for you ♪

♪ I never, never thought you'd be the one for me too ♪

♪ But you're a rule breaker ♪

♪ It's time to be you when you're looking like that ♪

♪ They don't know what to do with you ♪

- ♪ She's a certified painting ♪

♪ Oh, take it, it was a night to remember ♪

- Well, last night was fun.

Everybody let loose, which is--like, finally.

- All it took was a strip club. - All it took was a strip club.

- Jenni was in her zone. - Yeah.

- ♪ Tip the strippers ♪

- Ugh.

The suite smells like a stripper's butthole.

- That's disgusting. - Well, they were in my face.

I might have had too much fun last night.

I have to disinfect my favorite hoodie.

- Along with everything I was wearing.

- I'm going to have to get clothes, steamed, pressed,

dry cleaned, send them to a church

to get holy water thrown on them

'cause they develop, like, a certain smell

after a strip club.

[sniffs] [coughing]

I think I'm dying.

- Vin Day turned out to be not so bad.

- Yeah.

I mean, at the end of the day, though,

I'm still the ultimate party planner.

I do have one more surprise for the roommates.

- Do you?

- This is our last day of the vacation.

We're leaving today.

So I want to get everyone together for a family photo,

just like we did in the Keys.

- One, two, three.

all: Family vacation!

- I got everyone, including the kids,

matching sweaters. Right?

[dramatic music]

[knocks] - Chooch.

[knocking] Chooch.

- I'm not home. - [laughs]

I knew you were still in bed. That boy's hurting today.

That's what happens when you mix no carbs,

no food with an alcoholic beverage,

and maybe throw some strippers into the mix.

You finally had a party. - It was lit.

- Yeah, it was lit.

- We had to end this vacation with a bang,

and there's no bigger bang than Vin Day.

Everyone makes fun of me like I'm so ratchet,

I don't have a relationship, whatever,

but I make everyone else's relationships blossom.

- Oh, is that right? - Like Cupid.

- Mm.

- Like, I know everyone had [bleep] fire sex last night.

- Is that right? - Uh-huh.

- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

- [sighs]

I need coffee.

- My wife was turning up at the strip club last night.

- I was not.

[cheering]

- I think that the vacation ended on such a high note,

and exactly where we needed to be, you know?

- I thought you were going to say, in a strip club,

I'm like, "Eh."

[mysterious orchestral music]

♪ ♪

- [cheering]

♪ ♪

Ah, [bleep], I'm horny.

[knocking]

What are you doing?

♪ ♪

I think I had a [bleep] nightmare last night.

♪ ♪

I'm dead.

- Angelina started coming into my room last night.

- She did? - Yeah, I was in my underwear.

- What are you doing? - Not much.

- Vin Day started off really sucky,

but it didn't turn out that bad.

- Angelina, get out.

- [bleep] off. - Get out.

- Ew.

Your [bleep] is right there, and I see it,

and it's [bleep]. - [bleep]?

Are you kidding me?

- Your [bleep] is [bleep] because of me.

I walked into your room... - No, it's actually...

- It got [bleep].

- It's this big when it's soft.

- Well, I see-- your [bleep] is [bleep]

getting bigger and bigger by the [bleep] second.

- It's this big when it's soft. Are you [bleep] kidding me?

- [bleep]. It's [bleep] [bleep] right now.

- No, that's the type of guys you [bleep] with--

- No, no, I see the difference. - This is soft.

- It's growing as I look at it.

Ew, bye, you [bleep]. - This is beyond soft.

- Ew, dirtbag. - Are you [bleep] kidding me?

- [gags] His [bleep] is getting bigger.

[laughs]

- This is actually soft.

You don't want to see it [bleep].

- Oh, my goodness.

[laughs] I'm going to go finish packing.

- All right.

- I'll see you in a bit.

- ♪ Time to go ♪

♪ Time to jump this ship ♪

- I don't want to [bleep] pack.

This is, like, the worst.

- You bringing your V-Day shirt?

- No. - So many clothes.

- I got leftover ones from the strip club.

- I see you still have some learning to do

when it comes to packing. - At least I tried.

- Head down to the suite.

- Had to get one last look. - Hey.

- What up? - Is anyone in here?

- Hello. - Hello.

- What up, guys? Good morning.

- Morning. - Good morning.

- Angelina is definitely going through some stuff.

[knocks]

- Who is it? - It's Vinny.

- Oh, God. What's up?

- Going through a divorce is crazy,

so I don't want Angelina to get the wrong idea

about last night.

By the way, my [bleep] wasn't [bleep] last night.

- No wonder why you came in this room.

I knew-- - That's not why.

I'm just telling you. - I knew there was a reason.

- I'm telling you that's what it looks like when it's soft.

- No, no, no, no, then why did it get bigger

as I was talking to you? - It didn't get bigger.

That's just what it looks like.

- No, it's not.

- That's just what it looks like, yes, it is.

Do you want me to show you right now?

- No.

That's--why are you going on my bed?

What are you doing? - [sighs]

- Oh, my God. What is that?

- Oh, God. - Where's Vin and Angelina at?

- They were, like, the last two up.

- They were? - Did it happen?

- [laughs]

- Holy [bleep]. - Yeah.

- Bro, why is it like that? - I don't know.

[laughter]

- ♪ What you waiting for? ♪

♪ Bore me with that talk ♪

- Where's Vin and Angelina at? - I don't know.

I did hear them.

They were, like, the last two up.

- They were? - Wait, can I feel it?

- Yeah.

- Holy [bleep].

[jazz music]

- Ironically, everyone's on the patio

except Angelina and Vinny. Hmm.

Oh, my God, maybe that strip club and the last night,

you know, finally--

you know, they felt some type of way?

- It's very weird.

- There's nothing wrong with it.

It's just that...

I have Osgood-Schlatter's Disease.

- What did you think I was doing?

No. [chuckles]

When you get into that-- like, that funk, that, like,

depression mode, and you're like,

you don't want to do nothing, all you want to do is,

like, go out-- - Yeah.

- We're going home today,

and I'm just not ready for it.

This vacation has been

a very good distraction for me,

and I know it's going to be hard

walking into an empty house,

and I'm not looking forward to it.

When you saw my house, did you--

like, can you picture just one person living in there?

- No, definitely not.

And it's not even about the house, just the location.

I feel like-- - It's so far from everything.

- Yeah, I feel like it's boring.

- It really is boring.

My whole development is filled with families and children,

and my plan was to move into that house

with Chris and have a family,

but that didn't work out, so here I am.

I watch, in the morning, at : AM,

a yellow school bus stop in front of my house.

And all--everybody, all the houses around me,

surrounding me, all their kids come out,

and all the kids go on that bus.

And I'm like--

- And you're like the Wicked Witch

that lives alone with her seven cats.

Stop.

I was that person-- single guy living in my house

in the suburbs because that's where I'm from,

but then once I started to travel, and to get out,

and to live in cities and stuff, like,

my whole life changed.

So I know what she's going through,

and I think that if she just gets out of that, like,

she'll thrive more, I feel.

I picture you closer to the city.

I did it now, and I, like, never thought I would love it.

It's sick.

- Do you really-- like, what makes it sick?

No, seriously, I want to know.

- You have just, like, everything at your fingertips,

like the best gyms, the best clubs,

the best restaurants.

- You can just walk out of your door, and then just go.

- Or just get an Uber,

and it's, like, five minutes away.

You don't have to be like, "Oh, we're going to the city

tonight," and you have to drive an hour and a half, you know?

- Yeah, I didn't think of these things.

What about, like, a social life?

- Yeah, like, you meet new people.

Your mind is constantly stimulated.

When you live in, like, those secluded suburbs,

like, your mind is not stimulated.

You just see the same people, the same [bleep] [bleep]

over and over again. - Same people come over.

You have to go to the same places, same restaurant.

- Yeah. - Same this, same--

I get what you're saying.

- The dating pool opens up extremely.

Like--like, it's not just cops anymore.

It's like-- - Not just cops?

That's all I [bleep], cops and sanitation workers.

We might go back and forth at each other all day, every day,

but ultimately, I know Vinny actually does care about me

'Cause he's, like, giving me advice,

which I really appreciate because I need that.

Vinny, you know your [bleep] got big last night.

- No, you think I would sit there

in front of you getting a b*ner?

- Yes. - No.

Trust me, I'm a stripper. I'm in my underwear all day.

- The only difference is I'm not in front of you.

- Typical Angelina conversation.

We're talking about life and real estate,

and she's talking about

my [bleep] getting [bleep] again.

I think of you, like, during sex

when I don't want to [bleep].

- Shut up. I saw what I saw.

- Objects in the mirror may appear larger than they are.

- That's a lie. - Good morning.

- Hey. - Good morning.

- Hey. - How you guys feeling?

- Good morning. - I'm all right.

Why are y'all out here without us?

- Because we were talking about you.

- You guys match. Are you dating?

- You do match.

- Yeah, we just decided, you know,

last day, we're officially together now.

- Yes. - You know?

- That's what we figured.

You guys were the last two to go to bed last night.

- Yeah, and then after we [bleep], I realized--

I was like, this is what I've been missing.

- I'm dying.

- She definitely has the WAP. - Yup.

- Happy for you guys. - Yeah.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Well, this has been a lot of fun.

Every day was a great day here.

- You were going through your divorce.

I gave you respect-- - I'm [bleep] not good!

- You see what a dumpster fire this is?

- I hated yesterday.

- If you're saying that I'm talking [bleep],

the whole group chat is talking [bleep].

- [screams] - That's crazy.

[laughter]

- [screams] - Wrestle her!

- She likes it. - Holy [bleep].

- Oh, no, no, no. - Warning.

- Oh! - Oh!

[body thuds] - Oh.

- You just poured wine on--

- This time was a little messier than--than normal,

though, I think, this one.

- Hey, listen, families fight. - All families fight.

The fact that we're able to, like,

come together and then move on from it shows--

- Growth. - Yeah.

- I feel like we kind of have this conversation

at the end of every vacation.

- We fight, we argue,

but in the end, we love each other.

- This has been the roughest summer for me ever,

but I love these guys. They're like my family.

- It's definitely a love-hate relationship,

but at the end of the day, we really

do care about each other.

- Biggest dysfunctional family I've ever had.

[laughter] - I hear you.

- You know, this trip took a lot of turns,

but we're all leaving as one happy family.

- All right, guys, before we leave,

I have one more thing. - Oh, God.

Here we go.

- I'll be right back.

- ♪ Here we go ♪

- Of course Deena has one last activity.

Uh-oh.

- So I wanted to get you guys souvenirs from San Diego.

- Are those matching clothes? - Yes.

They're, like, cozies.

So once everybody has their sizes,

why don't we get the kids, get together,

and then we'll meet downstairs for the photo?

- OK, how? - Cool.

- Guys, welcome to my life, matching outfits.

- No.

[all groaning]

- More matching out--

- All the pictures always come out cute when we match.

And you're always happy after.

- Guess who's sitting on the couch tonight.

- Yup. - Hey, guys.

- Ready to hit the road, my love?

- Mm-hmm. - Come on, Greyson, this way.

- ♪ We're running nowhere, chasing fire ♪

♪ Undone and all replacing life with something ♪

♪ we can keep alive ♪

- Hey, do you mind taking a family photo for us?

- Yeah. - All right, guys, ready?

- San Diego.

all: San Diego.

♪ ♪

- Let's go. See you later, bro.

- See you later, man.

- Bye, little Romeo. - Bye Mike.

- A little sad because I have to go back home to reality,

and my divorce is coming up.

And dealing with that is not going to be easy for me.

But I know I'm not alone.

Bye. - Bye.

Bye, my love. - I love you.

- See you later. - Bye.

Like, I've got this amazing group of friends by my side,

and I'm ready for hot girl summer.

Let's go. - See you guys later.

- Bye. - Bye, guys.

- Bye.

- Back to Jersey.

Leaving is always bittersweet. I love to be around my family,

but I also love to be home.

So it's time to pack up, get back to motion.

- Say, bye, California. - Next time, San Diego.

Another successful vacation.

I'm sad to leave them, but I know

I'll see them again real soon.

- San Diego will never forget Vin Day.

♪ ♪

I've got to start planning Vin Day .

♪ ♪

- Here we go.

- Dren always loves Jenni's t*tties.

Give her the titty.

- I didn't know Deena was Little Miss No Gag Reflex.

- [laughs] - Vinny.

- Stop.

- She has a condition known as lie-abetes.

- Ooh! - And--

- Well, my life is not your [bleep] business.

- You know it, but you just can't play anymore.

- What the [bleep]? - Are you leaving?

- Whoa. - Wait, where is he going?