07x26 - A Telenovela

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

[regal orchestral music]

- Joey, to me, is a rat.

- He's exploiting you for the person that you are.

- You can actually sue him for that.

♪ ♪

- So it's a feast of peace.

- I love it.

- You are evil.

- I don't care what you think because I know I'm not.

- Is this just about me and Angelina?

Because I'm going to be annoyed if it's

just about me and Angelina.

Going forward, I don't need this.

- I don't need this.

[upbeat music]

- Yeah, buddy!

- Party's here!

- The Situation is under construction.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

- I'm still the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.

♪ ♪

[regal orchestral music]

♪ ♪

- All right, ladies, before you is your Sue Me Salad.

- Sue me, Joey.

- I should have sued him.

- Let's just have it now since we're on the topic.

I am throwing a fancy feast of peace dinner

where we can get it out all on my dining room table

and move the f*ck on so we are all happy when

we go on our next vacation.

- This is not about me.

I'm defending my best friend.

You are not going to ruin his reputation.

- What about my reputation?

- But right now, it's turned to sh*t.

- I was just defending my friend because you were saying

you were going to sue Joey.

- I said I could have sued.

I could have sued him.

- This is absolutely absurd and crazy.

- It can't always be my fault, everything going on.

- Angelina, take accountability for your behavior.

- I don't need this. - I don't need this.

- There's no winning.

And I struggle with that.

And then on top of that, I'm taking all

these IVF hormones and stuff.

But the girls don't know I'm taking shots still.

And I'm not feeling the greatest at all.

- I was just looking out for you as a friend.

I wasn't being malicious.

- But me and Joey are not in a great place right now.

- Talk to him about it, Angelina.

This is not about me. - But it's going to be like--

- That's a you and Joey problem.

- --me and Sammi have had problems, like--

- Angie, don't talk sh*t about me.

You know what?

Obviously, things have still been irking me.

It's a truce dinner.

Let's make truce.

- No, I don't.

- Now, I'm even seeing it on the show where you were,

in fact, talking about me.

- f*cking b*tch, I brought you back, you m*therf*cker.

She's a f*cking as*h*le.

- Who's an as*h*le?

- Sammi.

b*tch, I brought you in here.

I'll take you the f*ck out.

Maybe she's just trying to make, like, a name for herself.

- Oh.

- You haven't been so nice to me, Sam.

- This is my problem with you is

you like to play victim and say that you're not at fault.

- I don't play victim. I play truth.

- You can never take accountability

for your actions. - What did I do?

Sam, Sam, Sam.

Where is this coming from?

To be honest with you, I thought

we were over this sh*t.

- I'm not coming from a negative place.

- I'm not either. - You guys agreed on something.

- There you go. Whatever.

- There you go. - Holy sh*t.

You made some f*cking progression.

- You're making progress.

- Stop talking about me.

- Stop talking about me.

- I don't!

- Sam, just get over it.

How about that?

[light orchestral music]

- You've yet to once look at me and say, I'm so sorry.

- All right, you need to simmer it down a little bit.

♪ ♪

- Ladies--

- No, this is not how we're gonna talk.

- --our pasta is now in front of us.

- I'm just upset that somebody like you

can sit there and be like--

- You're not gonna talk that way with me, sweetie.

- --"Joey said he didn't like me on a podcast."

And you can't even own your own actions.

- These b*tches are fighting, and Chef

Boyardee in the corner's trying to, like,

drop the hors d'oeuvres.

- You've done nothing but act disgusting towards me.

- The bullshit that you spew out of your mouth is

like hunky dory dog sh*t.

- So much for No Problemo Pasta.

- I don't care what you have to say about me.

I live my life--

- Dog m*therf*cking sh*t.

- My problem with you is you cannot

apologize to me for your behavior and how

you treated me last weekend.

- Why would I ever apologize to you?

- You still can't own up to your actions.

That's crazy to me.

- Here we are again.

- And you can't own up to your actions.

- I'm a bad friend. - Angelina--

- You are. - I'm such a bad friend.

- You are. - This is crazy.

- f*cking problem.

- This dinner is a disaster right now.

We're all fighting.

Well, Sam and Angelina are fighting.

- Own up to your bullshit.

- Own up to your bullshit.

- What bullshit?

- This isn't fun, but I'm just glad me and Angelina are good

and she's fighting with somebody else.

- You're defending yourself over somebody

who just wants an apology and to be your friend

and have a nice night.

But you can't even do that.

- But that's what I wanted to revert this back to.

- What the f*ck? - Hold on.

- Can you just f*cking-- - Understand what I said.

- Can you pause for two seconds?

- Somebody is asking you to take ownership of your actions.

- Don't act like I'm stupid, sweetie.

I'm an A f*cking student. - Oh, we're--

- You're not gonna degrade me, m*therf*cker,

'cause that ain't gonna f*cking work today.

- Nobody is degrading you.

You degrade yourself by your own actions.

- You degrade everyone.

And you belittle people.

- How?

- You make me feel like a little m--

like a little mouse.

[mouse squeaking]

- What is happening?

[laughs]

- You know what?

This is definitely mob wives.

We're all dressed as mob wives, dressed

fancy with, like, our fur.

It's fake, obviously.

This is a mob wife sit-down.

And if you're a rat, get out of here.

Just saying.

- Oh, my god.

- I treated you like a friend would.

I've been nothing but want to be your friend.

- I don't concur.

- Angelina, there's a reason I think you've burned people--

[bell ringing]

- Can somebody just let Jenni speak?

- I say this with love.

I side with Sam on this only because I see--

- Why?

- --where she's coming from with the accountability aspect.

I really do think all Sam is looking for is, "I'm sorry."

She's willing to move on.

- Everybody f*ck up and says sh*t.

- Everyone f*ck up.

- There's no right or wrong.

- Own up to your shitty behavior.

- I'm not gonna let the fighting rain on my parade.

I'm just like, you know what?

I don't care what's happening around me.

I'm still going to enjoy this food from this private chef.

And let me tell you-- delicious.

[funky music]

- ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ You wish you could be like me ♪

- BDS has been on high alert with the baby coming.

And I can't sleep.

I'll be honest with you, I'm hungry right now.

And I just remembered something.

- I also invited all the girls over to the house

later for a feast of peace.

- Wow.

That's very big of you.

- So big of me that I hired a chef for tonight.

- Oh, my god.

- So of course, I must investigate.

♪ ♪

- You can never own up to your own self.

- Do you think I give a flying f*ck?

- [gasps] This is serious.

- I'm actually the most genuine f*cking person

you'll ever f*cking-- - Not to me.

- Oh, really? [bell ringing]

- You think I give a flying f*ck?

I got family sh*t going on.

- Did you hear the bell?

- I got bigger sh*t going on.

- Sorry.

- It was delicious. - Was it good?

- Delicious.

I ate the whole thing.

I feel like at this point, it's like dinner and a show.

[dramatic orchestral music]

- I want your apology for how shitty

you've been treating me.

- What about me?

Can you say that to me? - Uh--uh--

[cheers and applause]

That's a lie.

- It's not a lie.

♪ ♪

- So all I'm thinking about is how to wrap this up.

- No one treated you bad, Sam.

- You have treated me bad.

- OK.

- My god.

- I know you feel that you don't

have a place here anymore.

There is a place for everyone.

But we should all hold each other accountable.

And we should all move on tonight.

- I just hope the ending of this dinner

doesn't turn into a horror film.

Here's to praying.

[funky music]

- ♪ You ain't getting in my head ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I've paid to be golden ♪

♪ Tenacity is made when you're broken ♪

♪ I'm anxious to show it ♪

♪ I am my greatest opponent ♪

♪ The doubt that invades in the moment ♪

♪ But I cannot break ♪

[line trilling] - Yo.

- Yo.

- What's up, my guy?

- What up, bro?

- Remember, I told you I'm doing

a whole, like, rebranding?

- I want to do, like, new visuals,

like behind me on the screen.

- Like stickers and everything? - Yeah.

I'll have to do, like, a photo sh**t.

- That sounds important. - No, it is.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- You got to keep the content fresh, man.

You know how it is.

I'm gonna elevate my content.

New photos, new logo, new visuals,

a whole merch design--

next-level DJ Pauly D.

- We're at the club, and now we're gonna go to the desert.

- All right. Good luck with everything.

Keep k*lling it.

Talk to you later.

- All right, I'll see you soon.

He misses me.

- ♪ Don't say I'm the key, try to get like me ♪

♪ I'm trying to find a way to say it nicely ♪

- Think about, hey, maybe I wasn't great to Sam

when I brought her back.

We can move on tonight from that and, like, start new.

- How do we move on from that?

- Just say, "I'm so sorry for the way I've treated you."

- I'm so sorry for the way that I've treated

you in certain scenarios.

And I don't know where you're hearing certain things

from certain people.

- It's you.

- Oh, my god.

- I can't get through to this girl.

There's nothing that will ever resolve this issue at all.

- I don't like saying sorry.

But when I know I f*ck up, I'm like, oh, f*ck.

- Jenni, are you OK?

- Oh, yeah.

No, I'm just, you know. It's just like--

- You're upset. I can see it.

- I just feel like the dinner is

just, like, a big disappointment,

because I really wanted-- - No, no.

That's not what I wanted.

- Jenni and I were at blows with each other for years.

But now me and Jenni are in a decent place.

And I just don't want a fight with these girls.

I hate this sh*t.

So I really hope that we can come to some kind of

resolution here.

- Clearly, there is larger resentments and larger--

- So what do we do?

- She feels hurt.

That's it.

- If we move on, we have to accept

what everyone has done in the past and not bring it up again.

- OK, I'll accept it, Sam.

- Accept what? - I'm sorry.

- Accept what?

- Whatever I did that hurt you, I'm sorry.

Can you say that whatever hurt me--

- I don't feel like that's genuine.

But I can move on from this night.

It's a work in progress for me.

- This is what I would like to do,

is take baby steps to move forward in a direction

where we can become friends again.

I would like that.

- OK.

- If you can focus on moving on--

- Let's focus on moving on.

- --then that's different, right?

- OK, let's do it.

- Just say, "I'm sorry, Sam, for talking bad about you."

- I'm sorry, Sam, for talking bad about you.

- Good job, Ang. You did it.

- I don't want to fight with you.

- I didn't. - I just want peace.

- At this point, I don't want to be negative.

I'm trying to prepare my body for embryo transfer.

So in order to do that, I have to avoid stressful situations.

So I'm like, I'll move on.

- Maybe we have lunch, like, one-on-one, and stuff.

- OK, that would be nice.

- I would like that.

- Let's have fun and, like, let's move on.

- Yay, Angelina. [applause]

- It seems like they're coming to some type of common ground.

So I'm just hoping we could finish this dinner off good.

- Jenni, I love you. I'm so sorry.

- No, I love you guys.

And this is why I wanted to have it.

And if we had to scream it out, we're moving forward.

And we're gonna have a great vacation.

- Why is this not pouring the way I want it to?

- I got it.

- Jenni, We're not into this.

- I have relationship problems I don't know how to get past.

- Pauly is obviously a very private person.

So this right here is not good.

- Sorry you're going through this, bro.

- This has been something that's been on my mind.

- So is this not a date?

- More of a Last Supper, if you will.

- The Last Supper?

- I ended up calling Pamela.

She's like a DNA person.

- So here we are.

- I don't know you.

But I don't want to see her get hurt, taken advantage of.

Do I want to do this?

No, I don't.

- ♪ Hey, what you doing? ♪

♪ I'm just in my bag and I'm bad ♪

♪ They choose to hate 'cause they mad ♪

- I'm actually very thankful, as

much as it gave me a migraine, that we got it all out.

- Sorry.

- We can move forward.

- So sorry.

- Ladies, so for your final entrée here

is called the Fight's Over Filet Mignon.

- Thank you. - Delicious.

Thank you.

- Well, the Fight is Over Filet Mignon.

- Yep.

Here we are.

- I'm sure this dinner worked and there will

be no issues moving forward.

[bell dings]

- All right, well, I have to go.

Giovanna has cheer early in the morning.

So-- - Go be a mom.

- Thanks for the wine.

- Overall, this dinner--

I mean, I loved the food, but this was chaos.

- Bye, I love you.

- I think we needed this.

- I always feel better when I say my feelings.

And now we can, like, really have fun.

- Who here is a squirter?

- Oh, Mylanta.

[laughter]

- Jeez, stop.

- Oh, my god. - Oh, hello.

I think we're ready for dessert.

- Why do other girls squirt and some girls don't squirt?

- Oh, my god.

- Wanna know?

I've had three of them.

- [screams]

- Come on.

- That means three different mattresses.

Mamma Mia.

- [gasps]

- OK.

Well, that was like--

- Talk about a mic drop.

[upbeat quirky music]

- Right now, Lauren is sleeping and BDS is hungry.

So I am sneaking out of the house to go eat my best life.

[doorbell rings]

- Hello?

Why is the door open?

Oh, my god.

- What? - Mike?

- Hi, neighbor. - Why are you--

- What are you doing?

- What the f*ck is happening?

- Hopefully they have some leftovers, because I'd

like to be a part of them.

- You came here to eat the food?

- Here, take a seat. - Can I sit?

- Nicole just left. Yeah.

- Oh, my god.

You guys are living up over here.

- ♪ Let's get this poppin' like soon, baby ♪

♪ Don't hate on it ♪

- Player up.

So any little spare time that I do have in between tour,

in between my daughter, in between my relationship

is focusing on the rebrand.

- We good to go? - Let's do it.

- ♪ Working that body like ah ♪

- I want to step it up a little bit.

I want to elevate my whole look.

- ♪ From Google, brutal ♪

♪ Work me like a noodle ♪

♪ Treat me like a champion poodle ♪

- Beam me up, baby.

I feel that DJs are the new artists.

They're the rock stars.

So why not treat it as such?

- Welcome to Pauly D's world.

[engine revving]

[funky music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Yeah, uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go ♪

- My neighbor. - What the hell?

- My neighbor stopped by.

Would you like a dessert? - I'm Chef Franco Giuseppe.

- Oh, my god.

[laughter]

- You hungry?

- Would you like something?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

- Yeah. - How about some pasta?

You want a little pasta? - Oh, yes.

- You got it. Be right out.

- I'll be honest with you. I missed you guys.

I've been like-- I've been in the trenches the last day

or two.

Now, you know, she's home, but she's on, like,

strict bed rest. - Jesus.

- I'm helping out with the babies.

- We're on a day-by-day basis.

We can have this baby any day.

- Do you want to see our menu? - Stop it.

Do you have a menu? - Yeah.

Are you ready?

- Oh, my-- let me see.

Let me see.

- Read the first one.

- Sue Me Salad.

[laughter]

- Everybody knows Big Daddy Sitch loves some drama.

But what I love even more is these menu cards.

- What's the Problema Penny a la Vodka?

- That's when the heat really hit the fan.

- I am a little upset I was not invited to this--

- I think it was probably better off.

- If you like this, you'll like that.

- Ooh! - Hold on.

Don't start yet.

- I think it was better off.

- Oh!

[laughter]

- I am living my best life right now.

- Well, I'm glad you guys figured it all out.

That's great. - Yeah.

I think so, right? Everyone did--

- I don't think so. I know so.

- Yeah, good.

- How's Justin?

- He's good. - Chris?

- He's good.

Home with the babies.

- Ang?

- I mean--

- Aw.

- Is that where you were getting at with that?

- No. No.

- I knew he was.

- What do you mean? What do you mean?

- You are such a sh*t-stirrer, bro.

- What do you mean? - No.

- What do you mean?

- That's really funny, Mike.

- I'm just here for the dessert.

- Don't stir the pot, Mike.

Listen, everybody misses us just having fun together.

Like, you guys actually make me laugh and have a good time.

So--

- We should go out for, like, meatball night, like, with us.

- Like, I'm looking forward to it.

- All right, well, I have to go.

- Yeah, I have to get going, too.

- I feel like everybody who had to get everything out did.

And hopefully our next vacation will

just be a blast in a glass.

- Yeah.

- Cheers, b*tches. - Cheers.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- Jenni and I have come full circle in our friendship.

And that's amazing.

- Get home safe. - Thank you so much.

- So maybe there is hope for me and Sam.

Like, let's pray.

Let's literally pray.

- Love you guys.

Bye, Zach.

Bye, Dre.

Bye, Meilani.

- But you know how us girls work.

Doesn't really last too long.

- Bye, Ang.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Tell me we'll be all right ♪

♪ Tell me we'll be all right right right ♪

- We're gonna go see Mommy. Mommy.

Are you ready to see Mommy?

Laurens now is on strict bed rest.

BDS is now turning into daddy daycare.

- [laughs]

- [laughs]

I have the baby.

- Miabella.

- I'm living my dream.

But I think I need a little bit of a vacation right now.

- So, honey, I was actually thinking, since you are going

to be resting for the next couple of days,

I took the liberty to invite the grandmas over.

And I was thinking of a little bit of a trip

with the squad for a day.

- Where?

- I mean, what about Atlantic City?

- It's too far.

Anything over an hour is out. - It is an hour away.

- Are you kidding me?

- We love Pennsylvania. Poconos?

- Definitely not.

That's too difficult to get to.

- Maybe even New York City.

New York City is about minutes away.

- I think New York City is reasonable because I

could see it from the window.

- BDS got his permission slip signed by the wifey.

OK. Love you.

- I love you.

- I better get to work here.

We might need some transportation.

Is this a double-decker bus?

- We do have double-deckers.

We have any size that you would need.

- I'm a big fan of double-decker sandwiches.

So I figured, get a double-decker bus.

New York City, here we come.

Let the fist-pumping begin.

Thank you so much.

- OK, you got it.

- [laughs] Let's have a day in New York City.

It's happening.

- Hey, roomies, let's do a trip to New York City.

Who's in?

- Going to New York City.

Oh, that's cool.

- Pauly's in.

- New York City trip?

I can literally see New Jersey from here.

That's such a Jersey thing for people

to consider New York City a trip.

I get that you're going overseas,

but it's like just go-- a tunnel.

- This is gonna be embarrassing.

- I've been dying to go to the city.

- We have a confirmation from a Snooki.

- Come on, Big Apple.

- What are you guys gonna do there?

- No idea.

Gonna miss me for a day or two?

- Yes, always.

- I do love New York City.

All right, fine. I'm gonna go.

- Can I go?

- Yeah, of course. - [sighs]

- Speak of the devil.

I was just thinking about you.

- Hey, babe.

- How was work?

- It was all right.

- I'm realizing that I can't go on this New York City trip

because it's literally right in the middle

of my embryo transfer.

- I just got the craziest text.

"Hey, roomies.

"Let's do a trip to New York City.

Who's in?"

They take your good embryo, and they put it in you.

And then you wait two weeks and you see if you're pregnant

or not.

- Wait till the day of and text them, like, that morning.

- Like, not feeling good?

- You're sick.

- This is a big deal for me.

So I don't want anybody to know until after.

- I came down with the common cold.

But I don't want to pass it if it's "something else."

If I just fake sick the day of the trip,

there'll be nobody asking me questions

because they'll be busy on the trip.

I love this idea.

This is why I have you with me.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ I'm sorry to say ♪

♪ That I didn't need you anyway ♪

[line trilling]

- Hello?

- Deener!

- Hey, what's going on?

- I'm making a charcuterie board because my parents

are coming over.

I'm gonna tell them that I want to meet Pamela.

In the past, when I brought this up about being adopted

and wanting to find information,

my mom would get teary-eyed and, like, emotional.

And then my dad, I could tell he was a little upset.

So I'm just a little worried.

I don't want to upset my parents,

but I feel like I knew this day was gonna come.

- I'll let you know how it goes.

Wish me luck.

I'm ready to get this going.

I just need my parents to be on board with me.

We're ready.

[doorbell rings]

- How are you? - Hi, Mommy.

How are you?

- Rocky, it's Nanny and Poppy.

Nice jacket.

- You like that, huh?

- [slurps]

So I brought you guys here today--

I'm pregnant.

[laughter] Just kidding.

Can you imagine?

No, so you know I never cared about,

like, finding out about my birth parents

or, like, where I'm from.

But like, I've always wanted siblings.

Remember, I was always like, can you go to the store

and buy another kid?

[laughter]

I was like, I want a brother or sister.

So I ended up calling Pamela.

She's like a DNA person.

- I'm an investigative genealogist.

- And she said she's willing to sit down with all of us.

- OK.

- But I mean, I want you guys to feel comfortable.

I don't want you to, like, be upset about it.

- You were meant to be with us.

I'd never forget.

We came downstairs and we opened up the elevator door,

and you were sitting there.

And you had this look on your face like,

it's about time you're here.

- Like I knew who you were? - Yeah.

It's almost like you knew--

- Aw, we were meant to be.

- You knew that we were there. - You weren't afraid.

- No, no. - You were happy.

- You came to Mom right away.

And it was like, that was it. - Did you cry?

- Yeah, of course. - Did you cry?

- Absolutely.

But we knew it was gonna be some day.

And I guess that day is here now, so--

[funky music]

- ♪ Live my life ♪

♪ I'll put it all on the line now ♪

♪ I might not get no second chances ♪

♪ It's time now ♪

- It is Jenni's birthday today.

And I am stopping by to wish the old hag a happy birthday

since our relationship was a little rocky

from the last time we met.

- What do you look for?

- First of all, like, less bodies.

You know that's a comedy podcast, right?

Like--

- There was nothing comedy about that.

- I feel bad, like after talking to my mom.

- I understand how somebody would

take that like the wrong way.

Sometimes you have to think them through a little

before they come out of your mouth.

- That is true.

I also want to invite her to my first stand-up comedy show.

What are you doing? Are you home?

- Yeah. - I'm outside.

Open the door.

- Ew!

You're here?

- Happy birthday. - What are you doing?

- Vinny and I haven't spoken since Vegas.

So like, why are you at my house?

- "Happy birthday, J. Ow, my back.

Love, Vinny."

- Yep, because she's getting so old.

- I can't.

[laughs]

Showing up with flowers and a card makes me feel great.

You should really be a comedian.

- Yeah.

Speaking of that--

- Because you and your zingers.

- It just so happens that I've been taking these,

like, stand-up comedy classes.

And I have a graduation show for the class.

And it's gonna be when you guys are there.

- You want us to be part of your audience?

- I mean, you know, I think so.

It's always risky inviting the roommates to public events

that you're doing.

- We are the best.

both: We're team BDS!

[cheers and applause]

- But at the same time, I'm probably

ready for everyone to maybe come see me do five minutes.

I've been putting in a lot of work.

And I want you guys to come see me.

- I am such a Vinny fan.

I would be honored to see him perform on stage.

- And I will laugh.

- Yes, please laugh at my comedy joke, my bad jokes.

- Little Italy Pizza. - Yes.

Hi.

I have a very large party coming into New York City.

We're going to multiple locations.

- I knew this day was gonna come eventually,

so we will support whatever you want to do.

- I am so relieved.

'Like, I could tell my dad is frickin'

freaking out in his head.

My mom's holding back her tears.

- I thought you would have asked a lot sooner than now--

- Well, because I really didn't care.

- I don't have any issues with it.

It's whatever you decide you want to do.

- I just want to stalk my siblings, I think.

[laughs]

So thank God they're on board.

Now we got to do the next step.

And the next step is my parents meeting Pamela.

We have to start this process.

- I'm still gonna to be a protective dad

and look over my--

- As you should.

- And that's the way it is.

[funky music]

- ♪ Don't nobody move ♪

♪ Everybody freeze ♪

♪ , ♪

♪ Whole time I've been undercover ♪

♪ With a little bit of suspicion ♪

- Thanks for jumping on on such short notice.

I have relationship problems I don't know how to get past.

- Oh, you guys never have problems.

- I mean, the last time the I checked,

you guys were doing amazing.

- I'm super unsure about my relationship right now.

So I'm going to go to the fellas for help,

because I feel like they would definitely get it.

Well, she said something, I just

can't get it out of my head.

She said it and I can't stop thinking about it.

- I'm a little scared. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm a little scared.

- Pauly is obviously a very private person,

so this right here is not good.

- She said, all pasta tastes the same.

- No.

- What's your favorite pasta?

- You know they're all the same, right?

It's just shaped different.

- I got to go.

- Deal-breaker.

- Sorry you're going through this, bro.

- All the same? - They're all the same.

- It's all the same?

Does that look the same?

- Yeah, it's the same color. - Does that look the same?

Does that look the same?

This is my favorite, by the way.

- Yeah, it's the same.

It's just the way that they shape or cut them.

- Are you OK?

So what am I supposed to do?

- I would take her to a restaurant tonight

and I would prove it.

- Listen, the proof is in the pasta.

- And you know if she doesn't get the point,

then just let her go, you know.

Hasta la vista.

- Yeah, pasta la vista.

I am not waiting.

I need to solve this once and for all.

Hi.

Yes, I would like to make a reservation

tonight, please, for two.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ I'm parked outside ♪

♪ One button, roof side ♪

♪ Baby, we can be gone in the wind ♪

- Cheers to date night.

- ♪ Feeling your vibe ♪

♪ Shorty, we can be more than friends ♪

♪ Baby girl, we ♪

- Are you excited for dinner? - Yeah.

Me and Justin are going on a date with the Buckners.

Not only because I love Deena and Chris,

but I want Justin to get to know them as much as I do.

- I know we're not allowed to have favorites

but they might be favorite.

- Oh, my gosh.

[laughter]

Way to ruin my friendships with everybody else.

- No, no.

- After that crazy dinner debacle,

I just wanted a nice night out with no fighting, no bickering.

And I want to get to know Justin more.

Me and Sam have such a long history because we were, like,

very close back in the day.

Do you know how to make, like, meat sauce?

- I'm going to make my own concoction

- Should we have a glass of wine while we cook?

- Oh, my god, yes.

We'll be like real Italian ladies.

- I love her so much.

So I would love to get to know Justin more.

He's a lot like you.

- Really cool?

- Kind of meatball-y.

- If you get wasted, I'll drive us home.

And I'll be like, I have to be designated driver.

I love Deena.

She's so much fun.

But Deena can drink.

I, obviously, cannot drink.

I'm on medication.

- Party time.

- I'll be like, I got to be the DD.

- I got to drive my drunk boyfriend home.

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

- Excited already.

- Hi.

- Hi, guys. - What's up?

What's up?

- How are you?

I like it here.

- Isn't it so cute?

I'm going to have, like, a couple wines.

Are you guys driving?

[tense music]

- I wish I wasn't driving.

Cheers to our date night.

- Yes.

I am so excited to be doing this.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- ♪ Up, listen up, player ♪

♪ Quiet, now can we get some order ♪

- I hope you brought your appetite.

- I don't know what we're doing.

- Oh, you're going to learn today.

♪ ♪

Yeah, we have a reservation for two.

We've been together for a long time.

And there's been something that's been on my mind.

It's weighing heavy on my heart.

- You're being weird, man.

- And you said something to me that's been stuck in my head

and I can't get it out of my head.

- OK. You're being a little dramatic.

- And it goes against my faith, against everything I believe.

- What did I say?

What's this whole thing about?

- You said--

- OK.

- --that all pasta tastes the same.

- Oh, gosh.

Is this really--

- I don't know if I'd be smiling if I was you.

♪ ♪

- ♪ She like how I do it ♪

♪ 'Cause I make this here look easy ♪

♪ Girl, I make you famous living like you-- ♪

- What's this whole thing about?

- You said that all pasta tastes the same.

- Because the ingredients, how you make pasta.

- Is that what you said?

- Yes.

- Because I'm pretty sure it was recorded.

What's your favorite pasta?

- You know they're all the same, right?

- They're all the same, right?

They're all the same, right?

- It's just shaped different.

- I got to go. - Hi.

I got you bread.

- I'm so happy to see our normal waitress, Annie.

I'm just not in the mood right now to joke with her

like I normally do.

All right, so today we're going do something a little

bit different.

I would like to order a bunch of different pastas,

bow tie, gnocchi, angel hair, rigatoni, and pappardelle.

And your specialty sauce, please.

- Oh, wow. Perfect.

- Thank you so much. - Thank you.

- Appreciate it.

- Pasta dough is typically flour, eggs, olive oil,

and salt.

It's the same.

- So you're telling me it tastes the same?

- That's not what I said. - Yes, it is.

You said it all tastes the same.

- Well, that's not what I meant.

- Well, that's why we're here. - That's not what I meant.

- Well, you going to learn today, girl.

- OK.

- ♪ Comin' in hot, are you ready? ♪

♪ Ain't never gonna stop ♪

♪ Keepin' you guessing ♪

♪ Right from the start I've been making moves, ♪

♪ It's what I do ♪

♪ I'm tellin' you ♪

♪ You know I'm tellin' you that ♪

♪ I'm going to do this thing ♪

- Whoa, whoa, make some room. Make some room.

It's time to settle this once and for all.

Just take a look really quick at all the different shapes.

Everything's in the same sauce.

Taste test one.

- Cheers. - Rigatoni.

- Tastes like pasta.

- Feel me?

Now, I like to go angel hair.

- OK.

- Get your fork.

- I just want a little bit.

- Remember what the other one tastes like.

- Yeah.

Eggs and flour.

[laughs]

- Bro, tell me that's not different.

- Tastes like a little bit less eggs and flour.

- So that would be different.

Nikki tastes the fettuccine, says she doesn't like that one.

Another one.

Would that even be possible if they all taste the same?

Come on.

They're really designed to taste different

in these different shapes.

And that's what makes it taste different.

- OK.

- Boom. I told you.

I knew it.

The pasta is different.

And there you have it. Thank God.

I got to tell the boys.

I'm so glad I don't have to break up with Nikki right now.

- I still taste four ingredients.

[funky music]

- ♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Sugar, I'm not safe for-- ♪

- I'm excited for date night.

OK.

Go out on a date with Vin.

Even though things are good right now,

I want to see where his head's at.

How do you think our relationship is going?

- Our relationship is like atelenueva.

- What?

- Novella.

- Atelenueva.

- Telenovela - Telenovela.

I don't know what the f*ck that means,

but it sounds like a fight to me.

- It's like a soap opera. - Oh, a soap opera.

Yeah.

I'm pretending I know what the f*ck he's talking

about right now, but I don't.

That's nice.

- Do you guys ever think about like, marriage

and like, stuff like that?

- Yeah, it's pretty much her going--

- Oh, there's something missing.

- Oh, there's nothing on my ring-- my hand yet.

- No, I see you two, and I feel like it works.

- I love him. I don't care.

I'm like not in a rush.

- I've never seen Sam so happy.

- Aw.

I feel really happy.

I know me and Justin were meant to be.

In my life, he's exactly what I need.

And that's also why I'm so grateful to have

Justin for this IVF journey.

- Are you guys, like, thinking about kids?

- Yeah, I would like to have kids.

- I would like to have kids, but I'm

getting older so I don't know what's in store for me.

I'm like, oh, if you only knew the track I'm on right now

and what I'm trying to do to have a baby,

you would be blown away.

- Well, you two would be amazing parents.

- Aww.

- Amazing parents.

I'm so glad we did this.

- After the other night, we needed this.

- How are you feeling after that?

- Oh, I hope she just leaves me alone.

Just be cool.

- Ooh, I want one of these.

Are we ready to start a family?

- Um--

uh, I mean, I think our relationship

is heading in a positive note.

- I need to have children.

And I actually thought I was pregnant months ago.

You want to see a picture of his face

when I was taking the pregnancy test?

Does that look like a face of a guy that wants a baby?

- Are you ready to move forward from our engagement,

get married, set a date, pick a date?

- It's not that I'm not ready.

It's just that, like, what happened to me in the past

is f*cking a little freaky. - Yeah.

- I want to get married, but I'm worried

about marriage a little bit after what I've been through.

My perfect scenario would be having a child first.

You know, for me, it's just, I'm getting old,

and like, you know.

I want to know if Vinny . wants to have the next step.

- I want a plan. I want to talk about it.

- Oh, a plan.

- I want to be ready for it.

- We've been together for two years.

I'm giving it one last shot and this is it.

- I'm trying to be responsible. - OK.

- And I think that's commendable.

That should be commendable. - Oh, it's commendable.

It really sets, like, the president for like--

- President? - The president--

No, it sets the tone.

- President--

- President, whatever the f*ck word that is.

- President? Oh, precedent.

- Presidents. - Oh, precedent.

- Presidents.

I don't f*cking know, OK?

I'm not a f*cking science major.

- A vocabulary scholar.

- Whatever.

I'm an A f*cking student.

I'm not a social studies guru, OK?

- You never won a spelling bee?

- I never won a spelling bee in my life.

Nor will I now.

- How are you? - How are you?

- I have to say, today I'm a little nervous,

because I don't know if my dad's going to, like,

grill this woman.

- Honey, I need your help with my bag.

We gotta go.

- All right. We gotta go.

- ♪ Running, running, running to pick up the pieces of my ♪

♪ Heart 'cause you were so bad ♪

- Ooh, that smells so good.

Today, Pamela is going to come over and meet my parents

and I want everything to go smoothly.

I'm a little nervous because I don't know

if my dad's going to, like, grill this woman,

scare her away.

[doorbell rings]

It's happening.

I want to talk with her before they get here.

I just feel so comfortable with her.

And I feel like she's really going

to get information from me.

- Nice to see you.

[bluesy guitar music]

♪ ♪

- What thoughts are running through your head?

- [indistinct].

- We need to stay positive about it.

- I was nervous to, like, talk to my parents about this,

because they haven't met you.

Like, my dad's really protective.

He's crazy. You'll see.

- So he's worried about me? - Well, yeah.

He wants to see, like, who you are.

- OK, so-- - I was like, she's legit.

- You know, I don't know this lady from Adam.

- Now's our opportunity to get to know her.

- My mom's going to bring my birth certificate.

- And your birth mother's name is on it as well?

- I think so.

- That's much better.

- Yeah. Yeah, I'm excited.

[bluesy guitar music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Yeah I was rich ♪

- They're not even from Jersey.

[knock at door]

Tita, who's that? - Vin!

- Yo.

- What's up, baby?

- What are you doing here?

- I'm surprising you.

- Uncle Nino's never been to my apartment before.

- Top of the world, man. - Yeah.

- Top of the f*cking world.

- Yeah, you see?

- And whenever Uncle Nino shows up unannounced,

it does not end well.

- Is that my Uncle Nino? Holy sh*t.

- Wow.

- Are you f*cking kidding me?

- Let's go, baby! What?

What the hell?

- You actually came. - That's what she said.

She-- - Got a bedroom?

What the f*ck?

- What, do you got a bedroom?

Yeah, I would hope so.

Uncle Nino is making himself at home,

so I have to get him out of here.

Imagine getting your D-S right here in front

of the Empire State Building. - Oh, my God.

- Yeah.

- Send me the video and do f*ck.

Place is amazing.

- It's good, because I'm close enough to--

- Everything. - Everything.

I'm near all the comedy clubs, because I

started doing stand-up comedy.

- You do, huh?

- I have a show tomorrow.

It's gonna be my first show where, like, my roommates come.

Telling Uncle Nino about my comedy show,

but I'm kind of regretting it.

He's gonna think this is an invite, so--

I'm just preparing it right now.

- Am I invited?

- No, it's just, like, the roommates.

- The f*ck?

- You have a stacked schedule.

Don't worry; there'll be plenty more for me.

Get out of my building. You make a left.

- It's right there. - You'll find your people.

- OK. - And--

- I love you. Shut the f*ck up.

I love you.

- And then they'll take it from there.

- Now that Uncle Nino knows about the show--

- Oh, good luck tomorrow.

- I've gotta make sure that he doesn't show up somehow.

Oh, God.

[light music]

- All right, here we go

- Yeah.

We should say, here goes nothing.

- I take what I do, honestly, very seriously,

which, you are my client.

And when I have a client come on board--

- Say this to my dad, again.

- Yeah, well, I'm happy to tell him that, but--

- Say it all. [doorbell rings]

- All right, they're here. - Is that them?

- Get ready.

- I'm ready.

- I'm praying to the gods everything goes smoothly.

- This is Helen. - Hi, Helen.

I'm Pam.

- And we start this on the right path.

- I'm set.

OK. - So here we are.

- Yeah.

[tense music]

- You look like you're ready to dig in.

- Yeah.

- So we've been having a great chat.

I know that you both wanted to meet

me and make sure I'm legit.

- Just, I'm very protective of our daughter.

I guess I knew the time was gonna come.

Now it's here.

- My dad has always been overprotective.

- I have some reservations, let's put it that way.

- But I appreciate that, because he's always

there for me, no matter what.

If I k*lled a body, he would come help me hide it.

I mean, my dad is like the OG.

- You been doing this for a while?

- years. - What?

Really? - Yep.

I had an Italian dad, too, by the way.

What's your biggest fear?

- I don't know you.

- Mm-hmm.

- This is family stuff.

I'm just being a protective dad.

That's all I'm trying to do.

If she wants to just know, do I have any siblings,

is my birth mother still alive, whatever she wants,

we're gonna support her.

- OK.

- And if this is her time to find her roots,

even though her roots are with the Polizzis

and being mom and dad here, that's fine.

But I have to go with it.

Do I want to do this?

No, I don't.

I don't want to see her get hurt.

I don't want to see her get taken advantage of.

- I'm not sure how I can get you comfortable,

but I give you my word that I will do my best to take

care of her in a way that I would every single client

that I have.

I should probably put glasses on so I

could see the paperwork.

- My mom had this folder in her house.

Seeing these papers, all the information is coming back.

And I'm like, Pamela, write this down.

Write this down.

- All right, so now we're gonna test my Spanish skills, I see.

I can't imagine that's a very common name, La Madre.

OK, we're in business.

- I mean, this is a great frickin' start, I feel.

- So I think I'm good.

I suspect you're gonna do a deep dive on my background

when you leave here.

- I think he already did.

- I will put it this way.

Go and do what you have to do.

- Let's see if I get to the point that I can come back

and say, this is what I know.

And then you can maybe come here when that day comes, and--

- You guys are in this with me.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Pamela has calmed my parents down a little bit.

I feel like they're starting to warm up and be like,

OK, this woman's legit.

She's great, and she's here to help.

- I hope I made you feel better.

- It's not you.

- You're still giving me the Italian squinted eyes, though.

- He's got think about this.

- That will never go away, so--

- It's an Italian thing.

- It is an Italian thing.

- ♪ Can't you see, I move too slow, pick up the tempo ♪

♪ Slow down, girl, don't mess my tempo ♪

♪ It's a holy ground, just like a temple ♪

♪ I'm a steady now, man, I'm sentimental ♪

- Push. Push.

- I'm ready and excited.

Technically, right here, this is BDS's baby.

As soon as I come back, baby number three, here we come.

- Calm before the storm.

- Yeah.

- Can you grab my hairspray?

Get me, like, six cans.

- I feel like I have some cute clothes.

- What, are you going to the Grammys?

- Let's see what f*ck Mike has in store for us.

- I have been on trips with you, where you bring that,

and you are fine.

- Because those trips, I look like Adam Sandler.

- Don't insult Adam like that.

- Oh, my-- can you go away?

- ♪ You're moving my body right ♪

♪ You're moving my body ♪

♪ You're moving my body right ♪

♪ Moving my body, you're moving my body ♪

[doorbell rings] - Hey.

- Hey, guys. What's happening?

- Honey.

- Uh, change of plans.

Baby number three is coming today.

New York City is Big Daddy Sitch's trip.

- So you're going today?

- But I've got a baby coming right now.

- It's happening.

Baby number three is coming today.

Grandma is on the way.

- Honey, I need your help with my bag.

- OK. - We gotta go.

- All right.

We gotta go.

- Whoo! - Oh, yeah.

New York City, yeah!

- It's my embryo transfer day.

I'm, like, scared.

My life could possibly change forever.

- We had the baby.

- We had the baby!

- Give it up for Vinny G!

- I'm a little nervous.

There's always, like, unknowns of what's gonna happen.

- What up? What up?