01x03 - The Legend of Ganjasaurus Rex

[bunniefuu]

[narrator] The vast, mysterious wilds
of California's Lost Coast.

A rural Eden of freedom, opportunity,

and endless, infinite supplies
of marijuana.

It is here that our story takes place.

A tale of humble weed farmers
versus government oppression.

Once upon a time, in the Reagan '80s,

the United States decided
they'd had enough

of these Back-to-the-Landers
operating pot farms

in isolation and minding
their own business.

Thus, the dark, evil entity
known as C.A.M.P. was formed.

This "Campaign Against
Marijuana Planting"

was the arch enemy
of these peaceful hippies.

How could any forces of oppression
be so twisted

as to target families,
honest folk, and growers?

That's the nature of C.A.M.P.,
total eradication.

No matter the cost.

But who could fight back
against this well-funded enemy?

In an act of desperation,
our intrepid heroes

decided that to fight a monstrous force
of destruction,

they needed a monster of their own.

Oh, wow. Look!

[dog barking]

Mommy, look!

[screaming]

-[♪ dramatic music playing]
-[screaming]

[screaming]

Holy sh*t, look at the size
of that thing!

[♪ dramatic music continues playing]

[♪ peaceful music playing]

[♪ dramatic music playing]

-[♪ blues music playing]
-[singer scatting]

[Steve Dodge] This is a special episode.
Doesn't that sound cool?

For Ganjasaurus Rex,

which is screening tomorrow.

The doors will open at 2 pm,

the green carpet arrivals
of the movie stars.

4:20 is the screening,
and more surprises.

[narrator]
From the heart of the hills,

Prehistoric Productions
presents a hilarious spoof

-of the w*r on drugs...
-[gasps]

...in an epic saga of life,

liberty,
and the pursuit of monsters.

Ganjasaurus Rex,
the c*ck creature

from the California Coast.

Believe me, my fellow colleagues,

herbivorous Ganjasaurus Rex lives.

For those of you who have not seen
Ganjasaurus Rex

in all its grainy VHS glory,

it's a 1987 stoner sci-fi film
that asked the question,

what if dinosaurs and cannabis

evolved together?

F-- Amazing.

Part creature feature,
part anti-establishment,

part satire of the cannabis community
that we live in,

and it's kind of eco-groovy
time capsule.

[narrator] Yes, Ganjasaurus Rex
was a lo-fi transmission

from another dimension.

Z-grade monster movie mayhem,
Humboldt style.

Some claim to this very day

that it is one of the worst movies
ever made.

But this silly little picture

was more than just an exercise

in low-budget filmmaking
and stoner comedy.

Ganjasaurus Rex was an urgent

and vital piece of protest art.

Of course, you know,
we are the biggest

and the most expensive--

I, I mean extensive police operation
in US history.

[narrator] A satire
of the fearsome forces of C.A.M.P.,

a silly but impassioned nose-thumbing
aimed right at these stooges and g*ons.

The film had a higher purpose.

Drugs are menacing our society.

Marijuana, pot, grass,
whatever you want to call it,

is probably the most dangerous drug
in the United States,

and we haven't begun
to find out all of the ill effects.

We've all had an experience
where a couple people

are giving you grief,

and, um, you wanted to turn and,
"Have you met my friend?"

And Ganjasaurus was our friend,

and, and, and it was like, okay,

you're messing with us,
you know, here.

He knows how to deal
with helicopters.

And, uh, essentially, after writing

a few cents for each scene,

my role was getting the coffee
and the sandwiches,

and, and, uh, not a single word
in the script

came from me.

[Ursi Reynolds] We didn't have
any dialogue, we had no script.

And I took this silly fantasy story,

and I tried to break it into scenes

that we could take one
each weekend.

And they said I was the director,

and I deny it until the day I die.
[laughing]

[Joani Rose] Almost 40 years ago,
um, we made a movie.

Every once in a while,
somebody'll say to me,

"Oh, you were in that movie!"

And I have realized

that it's a bit of a cult classic,

um, because it just won't die.

[laughter]

Oh, my God,
that's an embarrassing thing.

[laughter]

[Al Ceraulo]
When I'd go to YouTube

and I'd put in "Ganjasaurus,"

that I'd see, like, little titles

like, "The Worst Movie
They Ever, Ever Made." [laughing]

When we were first doing it,

we did not think it was funny,

everybody involved.

Now, it's kind of like a--
kind of like a cult, um, movie.

The, the kind they say
it's so bad, it's good.

Just trust me,
this seed is a genetic miracle.

We're talking about a plant
that's gonna be as big as a redwood tree!

Our friend, Tyrannosaurus
Herbivorous Ganjasaurus Rex,

was attracted to these plants.

[Ganjasaurus chattering]

[narrator] But who were
the good people of Humboldt County?

Back-to-the-Landers came
to remote Humboldt County

in search of cheap land
and a simpler life.

But, their choice to live
off a copious cash crop

put them in the crosshairs
of violent government oversight.

The truth behind the w*r on drugs
is no laughing matter.

It is harvest time in Humboldt County,

and the state is now stepping up
its program

to eradicate what may be the county's
biggest cash crop, marijuana.

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[Rob Seares]
My roommate had been trimming...

and the helicopters
were the, the subject,

and I said, "Godzilla versus C.A.M.P."

And we had the image
of the-- of, uh, Godzilla

grabbing the, uh,
the pot out of...

And that's all it took.

-[person 1] It was really the sound.
-[person 2] Yeah.

-[person 1] Right?
-[person 2] Right.

[person 1]
That thump, thump, thump.

And the valley over--
coming over the ridge.

-Yeah, totally.
-Sound of the helicopter was terrifying.

-But it's just the same--
-I was tempted to stay.

-You hear 'em, you go out there and check.
-Yeah.

Back when-- those days
when we were growing,

you know, you could wake up
any morning to helicopters.

You could wake up anytime
to anyone at your--

any officials at your gate
coming to chop your plants.

I mean, the first time,
it might've been 1983,

but it was a double Huey helicopter
left over from Vietnam.

He came and he just hovered over me.

I mean, I could see his boots, his face,

and I just sat there like this.

-Yeah.
-You know, it's all you could do.

It was horrible.

Bring the frigging military in?

-[Rob laughing]
-You know, over marijuana?

When C.A.M.P. came,
they definitely shook up the world.

They shook it up,
shook it up big time.

[Steve]
Uh, they did the same thing to me.

They left one plant untouched standing.

-[Al] Yeah.
-Okay?

And I remember sitting
on the ground looking at that,

and they want to come back.

Welcome to our annual Campaign Against
Marijuana Planting Conference.

I'm Arlene Arden,
public relations officer

with Operation C.A.M.P.

As of now, marijuana growers
are an endangered species.

Next year, they'll be extinct.

[♪ upbeat rock music playing]

This is the return of a creature
not unknown to your government.

There is no cause for alarm.

[Rob] I knew I had a story,
I knew I had all the necessary people,

and the professor,
and the beautiful daughter,

and they have to have
a nerd assistant.

Would you say that,
um, some of it just grew

-out of the Pure Schmint Players?
-[Rob] For sure.

So, I used to be part
of this theater company

called Pure Schmint Players.

[interviewer] Where did the name
"Pure Schmint" come from?

Well, Pure Schmint
is a word from Rod Deal.

They came up with the idea of Schmint.

They would smoke the dope,
th-they would say,

"This is Schmint, man.
This is Schmint."

And what we wanted to do was do plays

that we created ourselves.

Then we decided,
well, let's write a play

about what we're going through,

what our community is about.

And it was wildly popular

because people love
to see stories of themselves.

And, and it was comedy,
and there was music,

and, um, we, uh,
we learned on our feet.

[narrator]
But community theater

can only be seen
by the community.

A movie could reach
a wider audience, far and wide,

tell the world
what these C.A.M.P. crooks are doing,

let the whole country know
our community is under attack.

We were approached by these people,
Rob and then Ursi,

to write a script for this-- for a movie

that Rob had an idea for,

and it-it's--
it was Ganjasaurus Rex.

[Rob]
They met in Redway in the evening.

I went to one meeting.

They sat around and, uh,
had a good time writing the script

and inventing the personalities
of the different characters.

Well, my character was
basic-- uh, an empath, you know,

an empath who had
a, a strong reaction

to the soul of Godzilla
and knew it was wrong,

that-that they shouldn't hurt her.

They should honor her,
take care of her,

but no way should you hurt her

or-or send a m*ssile
into her stomach.

I played a character called Honey,
who was a scientist,

who developed these, uh, seeds

that would grow a marijuana plant

that was as tall
as a redwood tree.

Suddenly, we had actors,
we were in up to our eyeballs,

and we had to make a home movie.

Let's get it going.

[Sunshine Cereceda]
I was at the Octagon.

And there was that scene at the end
of the movie, the celebration.

[Jimmy Durchslag]
I was at the Versatel getting money

while Ganjasaurus
was running down the street.

There's one place I'm in there.

I'm the guy who ran
and jumped into a car

where the people are pointing
at the monster.

You can see
the, uh, the movie theater.

[all yelling]

It, it looks l-like amateurs made it,

and they did, and that's not a criticism.

Um, a, a word came to my mind,

and you may disagree,
but there's a cuteness about it.

[narrator]
To the outside eye,

Ganjasaurus Rex
may appear ridiculous,

mediocre, and nonsensical.

But within the county limits of Humboldt,

it is scripture,

an honest and accurate portrayal

of the not-too-distant past.

To this day, new generations

pour over the messages
of rebellion and revolution

contained within this monster movie.

Those who were not yet born

for the worst
of C.A.M.P.'s harassment

must study the sacred text
of G-Rex to understand.

Cheers.

Oh! Oh.

Th-That's alright. That's alright.
That's, that's-- That's alright, Frank.

Look, we're just human beings.
We're just trying to do a job,

kind of like you.

Face it.

Where would we be
without marijuana?

We'd be straight.

You know, I would go back
to working at the drive-in.

Nah, forget it.

I mean, if I see one more
Japanese monster movie,

I'd go crazy.

If I see one more Japanese
monster movie, I'd go crazy.

Now ready the transmission!
Vocalizations are all tuned up.

-I know what I have to do.
-I know what I have to do.

The timing has to be there,
and the emphasis.

Imagine there's a helicopter flying in.

[Joani] Do it like a canyon call.
[mimics roaring]

Start the countdown, now.

Start the countdown now!

After all these years,
hasn't it ever occurred to you?

Ganjasaurus isn't a he.

She's a she.

Yeah. I mean, it's ridiculous.
Pretty silly stuff.

[narrator] Now, the time has come
for a new generation

to inherit this sacred text
of Humboldt history

and make it their own.

For Joani Rose,
this is a chance

to revisit and refine
the rough and rambling script,

to make it sharper,
funnier, and better.

-[all yelling]
-[♪ dramatic music playing]

♪♪

[narrator]
In 1987, at last, the film was complete.

It would be screened
at the local Garberville Theatre.

The whole town was there
buzzing with anticipation.

Would this finally be the moment

that the fatal blow
was fired at C.A.M.P.?

Was this work of activist satire
ready for wider release?

Would Ganjasaurus Rex
spread the plight of Humboldt

across the nation?

No. The screening was
a complete and total fiasco.

Our fearless filmmakers had failed.

I was really excited about it.
[chuckles]

Um, but then, when I--
we went to go see it,

something was wrong
with the sound in it.

-[Rob] Yeah. Yeah.
-[Agnes Patak] There were a few problems.

Well, uh, I think I felt

like it was probably too long,

that some things
could've been edited out.

It's slow.
Our timing isn't right.

We're not--
You know, everything.

Uh, the evening showing was a disaster,

and the, uh, refreshments
were all taken, taken home,

and, uh, no one stayed.

I don't remember
watching it again on purpose.

[interviewer] Al, so far, this is
the worst promotional tour

-I've ever heard.
-Really?

-Like, "This movie sucks!"
-Yeah.

-[interviewer] But it is so good. So good.
-[Steve] The guy who acted in it,

-he, he thinks the movie sucks.
-[interviewer laughing]

Edwin, you can't do this.
Rex hasn't hurt anyone.

-It's my job.
-Marijuana is only a weed.

Your program's not worth it.

Federal government
doesn't have the right

to come in here and drop bombs
on innocent people!

Commander, you've lost it.
You're insane.

[Edwin grunts]

Edwin, everything's gonna be fine.

It's all over now.

The film itself is a cult classic.

It is a legacy
of Humboldt County in itself.

I like seeing the shots of Garberville

where it's, like, almost exactly the same,
but it's different.

And just, like, all the weirdos
have gathered up here.

It's like, there's just a certain ilk
of people here in Humboldt.

We all have this kind of
pioneering weirdo spirit.

Some of the dialogue
was actually pretty funny.

The feeling of what it's like
when you look

-at your parents' yearbooks or something.
-Yeah.

Just a sense of pride of just like,
"Wow, we've always been so silly."

[roaring]

[Al] Run!

[♪ soft guitar music playing]

♪ Weed and wine
on my mind ♪

♪ Weed and wine all the time ♪

♪ Wine and weed,
weed and wine ♪

We have our wonderful actors
from the Random People Theatre company.

-Whoo! Let's give it up for them!
-[cheering and applause]

This is an economically depressed area.

There are no jobs around here.

There's no jobs around here.

Marijuana is one of the biggest threats
to our free society,

and has been clinically proven to lead
to other crimes such as...

m*rder, mayhem,

and the evasion of federal
income tax payment.

[cheering and applause]

-[gasps] Oh, my God!
-[shrieking]

[laughter]

-[applause]
-[person] That was good.

I'm just here to check and make sure
that this particular production

isn't violating
any of the Godzilla copyright?

Oh. [chuckles]
Certainly hope not, sir.

[narrator] Forty years
after first emerging from the sea,

Ganjasaurus Rex
returns to Humboldt.

Will this work of outsider art
be redeemed?

Will our actors
and filmmakers recoil in shame?

Or will G-Rex finally triumph

and be seen as a vital
and serious piece of protest art?

[♪ soft rock music playing]

[speaker] The epic battle.

A true David and Goliath tale

of Back-to-the-Landers
versus C.A.M.P.

Sit back, relax,
and enjoy the show.

Hi, everybody,
I'm Ursi Reynolds,

and, uh, I was a project director
for a homemade video

-we made in the '80s...
-[cheering and applause]

...Ganjasaurus Rex.
Everything was volunteered.

Everybody pitched in and made

a silly, ridiculous kind of
wonderful video.

So, have fun tonight.

[cheering and applause]

[narrator]
And so, our story ends.

Ganjasaurus Rex returned
and took her rightful place

in Humboldt history,

the Queen of the Herbivores.

Joani, Al, Rob,
and all the collaborators

saw their film for what it is,
a one-of-a-kind document

of the darkest days
of government oppression.

[cheering and applause]

[speaker]
This just in, breaking news:

entering right now,
the Mateel Community Center.

Look over there!
Is it a bird, is it a plane?!

-[roaring]
-It's a Ganjasaurus Rex!

G-Rex, give a big round
of applause for our girl,

the star of the film,
Ganjasaurus Rex.

-[mild roaring]
-[applause]

[♪ peaceful music playing]

[narrator]
C.A.M.P. is long gone from Humboldt,

but the senseless battle
they fought lives on.

G-Rex played a small part

in that long, sordid history
of the w*r on drugs,

and now, she hibernates,

waiting for another moment of need.

Ready, once again,
to rise up against anyone

who threatens her favorite plant,

or the kindhearted farmers
who grow it.

[♪ peaceful music playing]

[birdsong]

[♪ peaceful music continues playing]

[♪ music fades out]