Hotel Excelsior (2026)

[bunniefuu]

Think of me...

as a mood,

an impulse.

Nothing more.

Please, don't exaggerate me.

If I recommend you to

do this, dont do that.

And you heed my advice.

Is that on me?

I'm no angel.

Angels are terrible.

Inspiration is my humble business.

I am sociable.

I don't give orders.

I don't forbid.

You decide.

I just manage the keys.

Ages ago,

I told Ferdinand Fink...

Back when he was a child.

I told him the following:

"Daddy sneaks out

for a nighttime snack.

Chocolate.

After spending time with ladies

who charge for their services,

he is restless, agitated, angry.

That's when he needs chocolate.

Poor angel.

So, Ferdinand,

I wondered...

What if someone were to place

a couple of marbles,

up there,

where the stairs begin?"

In no time, Ferdinand fetched

his colourful glass marbles

and in the dead of night...

Ferdinand's father lay lifeless

on the ground.

Nature morte.

I only thought it.

I didn't do anything.

Ferdinand Fink.

On 6. August 1919,

we were standing here.

It was still a rundown

hotel back then.

A dive.

Ferdinand,

you were 23 then

and were bursting with guilt.

He wanted to see

the place for himself,

where his father met up

with those ladies.

You saw yourself as a father-k*ller.

Just because, as a child,

you placed a couple of marbles

at the top of the stairs.

Since then, you haven't felt

at home anywhere.

So, I thought to myself:

Why, Ferdinand, don't you

take over this dump?

Turn it into a hotel.

In honour of the father you overthrew.

Higher.

Higher!

Strive higher.

Excelsior!

And that's exactly

what Ferdinand did.

To my great joy.

I thought it.

He did it.

He needed it,

like a lock needs a key.

Hello?

Hello? I just saw you walk in.

Hello?

Please, could you open up?

My boyfriend's in the toilet.

He'll be out soon.

Please!

Please, just a second...

Thank you.

He'll be right back.

It won't take long.

Hell come back,

whine for a bit

and then fall asleep.

He snores like a walrus!

Thank you.

I'm not very fond of hotel sheets.

Is this your first time here?

It is for us.

Not the first time here,

but at the Excelsior.

Last time, we stayed at the Montana.

We both have a bit of a temper.

But don't worry.

I give as good as I get.

That thud you heard?

That was his head hitting the wall.

We are here for a wedding.

My cousin, Sandra.

Were really close.

We went to horse-riding camp

every summer.

We're staying on a couple of days.

She has no room for us.

And her fianc isn't my biggest fan.

Maybe there's another room available?

Did you eat something bad?

I'm sure the lady at reception

can help you.

Go ahead.

I don't mind.

FOR WHOEVER FINDS ME.

Do you have cancer?

My father died of cancer.

I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Do you want me to stay

and keep you company?

I don't mean to intrude.

I have problems with...

Boundaries?

Have you tried chemo?

It didn't work for my father.

But it's always worth a try...

My dog died.

My dog died and I'm here

for a time out.

I'll leave as soon as...

I knew someone like him too, once.

I was younger than you.

If you're so sure about

your "time out",

why is it turning

your stomach upside down?

Maybe I'll just wait around

for half an hour,

steal your money and run off.

To the sea.

All the way up north.

To the North Sea.

Cold wind and...

people...

in jackets.

I don't want to...

When they find me...

I don't want to make a mess.

Are you going to rat me out

to the receptionist when you leave?

How would I get your money then?

I don't think you'll be

the first one to...

to fall asleep here.

Well then.

Well then.

You'll be heading north?

I might go see my cousin first.

Im Livia, by the way.

Katja.

The Hotel Excelsior attracts many

who have a decision to make,

who want to find a way

back to themselves.

Life,

relationships, career,

separations.

All that brings them here.

Because they need something.

- Hi

- Guys.

I'm Gigi. This is Pete.

- So nice to meet you.

- Hey, listen, if I

stumble over this cable,

I see you. Okay. I'm sorry.

- Right? Are you guys ready?

- I'll take it.

- What?

- Oh,

- Turn the camera on. I

- f*cking stick it anyway.

- Okay. Hello, my friends.

I'm Chrisy C from the

Prisoners. And this is Abby.

- They know who we are. Yeah.

- Thanks. Where

- My bloody

- Cigarettes.

Thanks for your infinite wisdom, Abby.

We are here at this very special

place, right? Tell them ab

- Yeah.

It's actually the place we rented 20 years

ago before our first gig. Yeah,

- That's great.

Guys, can I have the mic back please? One,

- Come follow me.

Follow me. Come look at

this, this, this is all the,

all the same curl, right?

Right. And hey, film the cake.

Fit the cake, dude. Come on.

Look at this. This, this

cake is a gift from the hotel

and it's written Welcome back prisoners.

This time you will break free.

- Yeah, whatever that

- Means. It's delicious.

- Oh, there,

- Cool.

- Come - On over here. Got

them. Look, look at this.

This is where it all started.

I mean, we had no money,

no future, no plan.

- Some of us even slept

on the floor, right? Kay.

Slept on the floor, right?

- Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, you

weren't there back then.

- Lana wasn't even born.

- I mean, it doesn't matter

if I was here or not.

And this is where our roots

are. Honor your roots.

You know, it's a

energetic thing, you know,

- Back to the roots.

- Okay guys, shall we?

- What are you doing later?

- I think we should really get

started with the interview.

I'm Gigi, and I guess

you already know who's

sitting next to me By now.

Back to the Roots is already

on top of the album charts.

Your tour is gonna start soon. Wow. Wow.

So the fans even fought over

the tickets. Did you know that?

- Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

- What do you think is the

key to your success? Oh

- Really?

- We are the

- Key.

- I think it's our infinite beauty.

- Definitely.

- Did you listen to the bloody album?

Of course. And why are you

asking such a stupid question and

- Well, I'm sorry, I just, you

- Know what?

She reminds me of that cartoon character?

- What?

- What cartoon character.

Yeah, that cartoon came from the two bus.

The funny bunny. Hey, funny Bunny.

Hey, can I look into your

cards funny buddy? Yeah, sure.

No worries. Thank you.

Hmm. Gigi's getting boring.

Come on.

- So how does your lifestyle

resonate with your family?

Chris, you have a little daughter right?

- Next.

- Why

- Got nothing to do with our music, Gigi,

but with your image, and that's what

- We're talking about, right?

- I don't know. Are we?

I hate this bullshit, Gigi.

- It's just that your image

doesn't match the, well,

you know the rumors

that have surfaced the fans just

want to know if you're fooling them.

- Okay? Anybody? It's

getting bloody dangerous

for you right now.

- Up X scale has taken

a stand. Okay? He says

- Rock and roll image.

- It's

- Hypocrisy.

- And that you kicked him out of the ban

because he objected to it.

- Okay? This is,

- You have that.

I warn you, I f*cking won't.

- I told you Kale must have

paid her off to provoke us. Cus

- At least we have a longer break now.

Okay.

- Is there something without cadaver?

- Well, on the vegetarian

section, there's,

- What's that?

- You're doing it again? Yes. You.

Your compartment compartmentalizing again.

- I'm not compartmentalizing,

I'm ordering.

- Oh, yes you are.

You are compartmentalizing

and you are enabling him.

- Not sure

- We agree to talk about

these things right away.

So I am. You are compartmentalizing.

Okay.

- Okay.

- I will have something anyway.

- What do you want?

- Nothing that has already had a name.

- Don't worry. Those animals

certainly didn't have names.

- Okay. No hunt, no meat. That's rules.

Abby, just veggies for me please.

Veggies.

- Abby's, right? Maybe

we should talk about it,

- Huh?

- Maybe we should talk about it.

- f*cking psychobabble. Bullshit.

Are we going to order or what?

Okay, let's talk.

- Good.

Okay, let's talk

- About what?

Hm? About kale.

- What?

- Are you surprised that he's angry

after you kicked him out?

- I kicked him out. Yeah.

- Well, first you threw

out his f*cking base.

- Oh, f*ck you. After you started it.

Of course he not about ka,

- It's not about kale.

Remember what Dr. Hausman said?

What's the true cause

of the anger? We feel

- True.

Cause you know,

guys, I just can't take this any longer.

Okay? I can't take it anymore. Sorry.

I'm out.

- Oh, here we go again.

- Oh, you see, he doesn't

even take me seriously.

Did you hear that? Here we

go again. You know what?

I'm not gonna freak out. I'm

not going to do you that favor.

- And what are you going to do instead?

- What?

- Run around naked in the woods

with your biking friends?

- You know, I don't expect

you to understand Chris,

but you do need to

respect my beliefs. Okay?

- Okay. I'm sorry,

but I think you forgot about

the contract we've signed.

If you commit the tour,

they will take away everything you have.

Even whiskey.

- What? My little whiskey.

Why would they take

away my little whiskey?

- I mean, remember Jackie?

They sold her poodle back then.

- Jackie. Gosh, put Jackie.

Where is she now?

- She works at the gas station selling

porn to truck drivers.

- Huh?

Feels like they're ripping

my bloody soul apart.

I mean, all I want is is to be me

or whatever that means.

I'm actually losing the

connection to my true self.

Sorry.

- No, it pays the bills.

- God, he's so f*cking

pragmatic, aren't you, Chris?

- I mean, why can't we just

- What?

- Show them who we are that

we've changed. I mean, many do

- I?

No way.

- We have to separate

work and private life.

- But why do we need to be

vegetarians or workers butchers?

- Well, I am technically

not a vegetarian, you know?

- Yeah. You only k*ll

the meat that you eat.

That doesn't make you

any better than any other

carness by away.

- Hey, Lana. k*lling is the

wrong term. Okay? Wrong word.

I actually take the life of

an animal with my bare hands

after I've hunted it down

and then I look into its eyes

and I say, thank you.

And I actually am in

connection with nature.

And this is something holy,

something very spiritual.

All right? Forget.

- Forget it. Forget it.

- Right? Forget it. Our

careers would be over.

- Oh, you're being overdramatic.

- Don't you get it? The

fans don't care about us.

They pay for the f*cking show.

What else do you want

to do with your life?

Also work at the gas station like checky

or do you have any other hidden

talents we don't know about?

Huh?

- Wow. It's your project guys.

- No, no, Lana, listen, listen, listen.

Look. Chris does actually

have a point there.

I mean, they probably

forgive the two of us, right?

But Chris is taking us

daughter to belly classes.

I mean, that's not exactly the image.

- Hey, what is that supposed to mean?

- I beg your father.

Look at your lunchbox.

Your pink, ugly, little pathetic

best daddy lunchbox. That's

- What it is.

In what way are Lila's ball

lessons more embarrassing than

chanting in a yogi ashram?

- That's actually rather funny.

I know what the picture you're

thinking of the other day.

The newspaper. Newspaper.

He looked like a f*cking

little bug. Dingy.

All in orange on the

plane. Yeah, little orange.

Getting on the The annoying orange Cheah.

That's so f*cking funny. Okay.

- Okay, okay. Yep. But

we could at least do more

positive songs. We

- Are. We are.

- Positive. Positive. Oh yeah.

I'm k*lling Susie and

dance with the devil.

- Well, I mean, what do we always say?

We always say let your anger out

- So you can let the piece in.

- Exactly.

Three things can't remain hidden for long.

The sun, the moon,

- And the truth.

- The truth is that I have to take a piss.

- Well, why don't you go then,

- Because I'm holding it

due to our conversation.

- But the truth is that sooner

or later you will go for a piss,

whether you like it or not.

Most guests leave me eventually.

- Voting Rolling Stones

here. Can I let them in?

Moved, shaken, disturbed, delighted.

Some stay.

The undecided ones.

Some even come back.

Unable to bear

everyday comforts anymore.

Others come here to die.

But they all leave a small piece

of themselves behind in me.

A memento.

A withering filmstrip of their life.

Come in.

Lea.

Nice to see you.

How are you?

You always find me.

How was it?

What do you want me to say?

You got your money's worth.

It was...

It's a shame you couldn't make it.

Lea?

Call me Amadea from now on.

Amadea?

The Beloved?

Beloved of God.

Of Jesus.

Jesus?!

Jesus!

I'm here to celebrate

Christmas with you.

Christmas.

Christmas!

What would Mame say?

There's only one thing missing...

I feel Jesus inside me.

You know?

Please!

I am one with Jesus.

Filled with the Holy Spirit.

Do you want to destroy me?

I am your father!

I don't want to be

your daughter anymore.

I don't want to be a Jew either!

You...

You bring shame on me...

You sent your own son back to w*r,

for him never to return home again.

It was his decision.

He loved his country.

You promised him recognition.

Would he have listened to me?

What a devout man you are!

Lea!

Amadea, I said.

Broken glass brings good luck.

Even with Christmas baubles?

Do you miss Mame?

A little?

We needed each other.

But you and Mame...

That Mame-daughter thing.

I could never compete with that.

Mame-daughter thing?

I always had to massage her back.

I hated it.

That's right.

The massage.

"Nobody massages my back,

poor little me."

Oy vey!

Oy vey!

"There! Just a bit to the left."

"Do this, don't do that."

Once, I scratched her back.

On purpose?

No.

Say, what do you think of me?

It sounded like that.

But I have to admit,

it did suit me a bit.

And then she shooed me away.

At least, she left me

in peace for three days.

That's right.

I had to massage her instead.

Didn't those huge crater

pimples disgust you?

To be honest...

No, but...

The thing that got me

really worked up,

were her sighs.

Whenever I had worked

my way downwards

and I lifted my hands

to start again at the shoulders,

she let out this

dramatic moan.

A completely overacted sigh.

That almost drove me crazy.

Strange.

She never sighed with me.

You see...

There's the Mame-daughter thing again.

But I also massage in circles.

Don't tell me how to massage.

No Jew massages like that.

At least she didn't sigh with me.

Well...

It's still the good Jewish way.

Sighing is part of it.

The divine sigh.

I'm selling the company tomorrow.

w*r will be back, you'll see.

The community advised me to

get in touch with Mr Butzenbhl.

Butzenbhl?

The guy with the clocks?

His wife was very nice.

She even cooked for me.

Mr Butzenbhl has a huge garden.

He said in spring,

it brims with tulips.

Butzenbhl's tulips.

He mainly needs precision screws.

For his tulips?

For his clocks.

And he has assured me,

he will keep the workforce.

Nobody asks me.

Ever.

Even more luck.

How did you find me this time?

Aunt Hanna.

At the Kaddish, she said:

Zurich.

Hanna.

Is she still so sleazy?

No.

But her daughter is.

And her son stutters.

I stutter too, when I see her.

She has a charming way about her.

You remind me a lot

of Mame right now.

She had a sense of humour.

Did I say you had a sense of humour?

She wouldn't have let you sell.

There are many things

she wouldn't let me do.

She wanted you to have it.

She always protected you.

"He blames himself for everything."

"Give him time."

Do you remember

how you used to tune it

for me as a child?

I really liked the way you played.

You had zero talent.

None. Almost tragically untalented.

But... As distorted as it was,

it was still beautiful.

The moment right before the decision.

At the crossroads.

Time stands still.

That is my moment.

That's where you'll find me.

If you're agonising about

making the right decision

or the wrong decision.

Often any decision

is better than none.

Hi.

Dave.

You look shorter.

Shall we have a drink?

What?

Should we have a drink?

Okay.

Red wine or champagne?

Red makes me sleepy.

Champagne it is, then.

Sorry, I just have to...

You can do this.

You can do this.

Hi.

I thought...

Everything ok?

Yes, yes. Everything's great.

Hey, wait. Stop!

Okay. I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

We can take things slower...

I asked you here

for something else.

- The photos look...

- This is stupid.

- No wonder, I'm the black sheep.

- I should update them...

What did you say?

This isn't about sex.

Would you prefer to talk?

I want to hire you

to act as my fianc.

I don't do the "boyfriend experience".

I can pay you. A lot!

It clearly says so on the website.

You could have picked someone else.

This isn't an escort thing.

It's about a family dispute.

I need to make something clear.

It doesn't feel right.

Okay?

Come on.

I mean, you have sex for money.

What?

It's the truth.

Is someone forcing you to do this?

No, I just...

Okay. You know what?

My private life is none

of your business.

I didn't mean to be

condescending.

I'll refund your money.

Please, I'm really sorry.

Please. I really need your help.

And you really look great.

Better than your photo.

10'000.

Your share of the

inheritance advance.

What would I have to do?

You just have to

memorise a few facts.

What is this?

Everything about me.

My date of birth, my hobbies.

Everything about

my parents, my family...

And how we met.

This is a book.

When do I have to learn this by?

Right now. They're on their way here.

They? Who?

My parents.

I can't...

I can't memorise this that fast.

Okay, just the short facts then.

So, what do you think?

Yes, it's doable.

But something is missing.

What?

What about me?

What about you?

There's nothing in here about me.

Can you quickly tell me your life story?

There's nothing on the website.

Do you have any talents, skills?

Not that.

I don't see anything bad

about this profession.

At least I make a lot of money.

I study mechanical engineering.

Really?

Good!

So when do I get the money?

Pretty much right after

the wedding,

the money will be in my account.

What wedding?

Yes. Well, you know...

We have to actually get married

to get the inheritance.

I mentioned that.

No, you didn't.

First the engagement,

then the wedding.

First we sign a contract,

then money. Self-explanatory.

You didn't mention a wedding!

It's no big deal.

After a few months,

I'll file for divorce.

No big deal?!

Why you? I'll be the one

filing for divorce!

What?

Do you have any siblings?

This is a big deal!

It's a lifelong commitment.

It's not a game.

But you've already accepted.

No.

I said, it's doable.

How much inheritance

are we even talking about?

What language is that?

I'm Iranian.

Are you Muslim?

Yes.

You had to think about that?

Yes, yes, I am.

Wouldn't I have to convert

or something?

Well...

As far as I know,

it's just a small ceremony.

You just have to learn

a few Arabic verses.

What?!

More memorising?

Hey, you'll be fine.

You seem intelligent.

I don't want to convert!

It's fraud all over again.

Sorry, this is where I draw the line.

What?

I'll check again about converting.

My family isn't religious at all.

Maybe there is a loophole.

What is your share

of the inheritance?

Why?

No, seriously.

I can't tell you.

What are we talking about?

Company and sex?

No sex.

Whatever is visible to them.

We just have to be convincing

as a couple.

Then what? Make out?

Yes.

Kissing, occasionally with tongue.

Groping.

What?

Nothing.

We won't see each other every day.

Only when we have to show ourselves.

Twice a month, sometimes more.

100'000.

No converting.

Are you crazy?

You jumped from 10 to 40.

There must be room to manoeuvre.

That's the limit.

I can't go any higher.

And your demands mean

extra work for me.

- Three months.

- Four.

Champagne?

Vodka!

To the perfect performance!

What do you want to do

with the money?

I want to open a shop at the airport.

With souvenirs from other countries.

Why would you want to...?

Let's say, you're just back

from a vacation in Bali.

And you forgot to bring

a present home.

You promised your girlfriend a gift.

In my shop, you'll find

the perfect Bali souvenir.

And from any other country

around the world.

Nobody will notice.

I'm the oldest.

I have two sisters

and a brother.

I have two older brothers.

Where did you grow up?

In the countryside.

My parents are farmers.

Mrs Nuri, your parents are in the lobby.

Oh yes.

Please send them up.

Why are your parents

coming to the hotel?

My brother wants to get married.

I wanted to beat him to it.

You should have involved me earlier.

I'm totally unprepared.

This is crazy,

completely insane.

I don't do things like this.

I'm really very reasonable.

Reasonable people don't

do things like this.

Don't panic, okay?

Come on. Hey.

Giving it all up now,

that would be really silly.

I mean, it's...

It would be really stupid.

It is in fact, a great plan.

- I know. It is, right?

- Yes.

It's great.

I just wanted to do it quickly.

So it's not weird when

we have to do it later.

My name is Benjamin, by the way.

Fariba.

Does Hotel Excelsior

meet your expectations?

How did you imagine it?

A man lets himself be

pleasured one last time.

Two lovers hesitate to get closer.

A daughter thinks she's at

the end of her tether.

Many people feel that way.

Right around the next corner.

Always right around the next corner,

there waits...

Waits...

What?

Laurels?

Hope?

The one true love?

I do not judge.

I only show the doors.

Manage the keys.

Do you need a room?

Or do you want to carry on

arguing for a few more years?

Make up?

Love, hate, be lonely?

That's fine by me.

You know where to find me.