01x02 - Crushed

[bunniefuu]

♪

(Beeping)

♪ Something tells me

I’ve been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was

never real ♪

♪ It’s seems I've changed

a thousand ways ♪

♪ I wish I looked

the way I feel ♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Ah

♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Braceface

♪

(All laughing, chatting)

Hmm.

No laundry, no sitting.

But we’re in the middle of

our dry cycle.

And we paid for the smoothie.

I’m not a babysitter.

Scram!

(All laughing)

But our towel is still wet!

You have five minutes.

What were you saying before

we were so rudely interrupted?

I was saying that I can’t

believe Alden isn’t here!

And how much he’s been ignoring

me for two weeks.

And how Nina keeps sending him

secret notes that make me want

to puke.

And-- what else?

Something about shreds of

food getting stuck in your

braces and whether that’s a

total turn-off to a guy.

Oh, yeah.

Is there any papaya in there?

Ugh.

Yep.

Great, I bet Alden’s walking

through the door right now.

Connor, please be my eyes.

(Gulping)

(Romantic music playing)

SHARON: It’s him, isn't it?

No, it’s--

I don’t know who it is!

Cute?

Very.

A real hottie?

Pretty much.

The papaya!

Hand me my mirror, will you?

Wow!

Look how she separates whites

from darks.

She?

Hmm.

Uh-huh.

(Giggling)

Uh--

I think our five minutes is up.

Wait a minute, wait a minute!

How can you just walk out of

here?

It’s very simple, really.

One foot in front of the other.

(Sighing)

(Sneezing)

Ugh.

(Sneezing)

Ugh!

(Sneezing)

Her name’s Tally, she just

moved to Elkington Street, she’s

starting in our class tomorrow,

her parents have been divorced

three months and they don’t have

a washing machine.

Home phone, cell, pager, email

and fax.

(Sneezing)

Ugh.

Thanks.

(Whistle blowing)

(Coughing)

Have you called her yet?

What about email?

(Coughing)

Oh, it’s obvious she's

interested in you.

Ugh!

Huh.

Connor, you’ve got maybe one

lap left to do the flirt back

thing!

And then Tally’s going to

pack it in!

You’re both imagining things.

Nobody’s going to flirt with

someone who looks like me!

What are you talking about?

You’re--

You’re adorable!

Yeah, that.

I am?

Ugh, nice try.

(Whistle blowing)

So, Alden, I guess you’re

doing your laundry at home these

days.

That’s great!

SHARON NARRATING: I don’t get

it.

Around Connor, I feel like I’m

wearing my most comfortable

tennis shoes.

Around Alden, it’s like I'm in

wobbly stiletto heels, about to

fall over before I even take a

step.

(Whistle blowing)

(Cheering)

(Whistle blowing)

Huh?

Ugh!

Aah!

(Groaning)

I hate hurdles!

(Boys shouting, grunting)

(Talking loudly): All I’m

saying is you need to attack

this whole allergy thing from a

new perspective.

It’s ruining your love life!

I hate needles.

Mom said no k*lling each

other!

Acupuncture is more about

pressure points than it is about

needles.

They’re so teeny you can hardly

feel them.

Hardly.

That’s the operative word here.

Hardly is still something.

So, you’re going to spend the

rest of your life covered in

anti-everything cream?

Blowing your nose on the half

hour?

Avoiding dust, pollen and

anything synthetic or living?

Never to experience the joys

of new love?

Because you’re afraid of some

teensy-weensy needles.

Maybe there’s another way.

You’ve tried everything else.

(Sighing)

Okay.

But only if you come with me.

Oh no, not me.

I’m afraid of needles.

You’re not afraid of

anything.

Seriously.

You really want me right in

the room with you when she’s

sticking you like a pincushion?

Yeah.

Right by my side.

Like a good friend should be.

(Sighing)

♪

Can I let go of your hand

now?

Uh-huh, it doesn’t hurt.

As long as I don’t see them.

Where did the acupuncturist

person go?

She’s just in the next room

checking on someone’s chi.

You need to lie here for a

little bit so that the energy

can start to flow in the right

direction.

Ah, it feels like my nose is

draining.

Uh, excellent.

Really brave.

I’m so proud of you.

Could you turn up the nature

sounds?

Sure!

(Birds chirping)

(Sparking)

Weird.

What’s happening?

Remember-- relax.

(Birds chirping)

Hey, what are you doing?

It’s okay.

Everything’s okay.

I’m just making sure they're in

there.

In there?

Yeah, so you really get

better.

Maybe you should call the

acupuncturist.

(Sighing)

Breathe.

Hear the ocean tide crashing on

the rocks, the birds chirping.

Relax.

It’s as if you're floating in

the clouds.

SHARON NARRATING: I prayed that

I had put all the needles back

in the right spots.

That I hadn’t made things worse

for Connor.

(Grunting)

(Screaming)

What have I done?!

(Grunting)

(Snoring)

Connor!

(Slurping)

(Clearing throat)

Hmm.

BOTH: Phew!

How do you feel?

I don’t know.

I guess I feel the same.

You don’t feel all strange

inside?

No.

Phew!

So, do you think he’ll show up

today?

Oh, please.

Not another Alden lament.

Well, where does he hang out

if not here?

This is the number one spot!

What do you think he’s doing in

his spare time?

Having a life?

This is a life.

And when we leave, we’ll be

wearing freshly laundered socks.

Hey.

Hey what?

Get out of my face, will you?

I’m still feeling a little

tender.

Jumping June jitterbugs!

That’s a cute one.

Holy moly cow!

Are you trying to tell me a

knock-knock joke backwards?

Connor!

Connor?

Connor!

What’s with you?

You look--

You look, um--

Sort of amazing.

I mean it.

Whoa.

Hey, that’s me?

Hey!

What happened to our other

socks?

What is this-- a dryer

conspiracy?

I bet Bill has this thing rigged

to some kind of suction tube in

the back.

You’ll never know, will you,

kiddies?

There’s a law against this,

mister.

If you are the culprit, there

are heavy fines for this kind of

mischief.

(Laughing)

I couldn’t stop staring at

Connor.

Inside I was having this

strange chemical reaction.

Like when you’re on a super

loop-de-loop roller coaster and

your stomach seems to jump into

your mouth.

You know what I’m talking

about.

The only other time I had that

feeling was when I was with

Alden.

So, this didn’t make sense.

This was Connor-- my friend

since forever!

Could I actually be attracted

to him?

These things are tricky.

You have to have just the right

touch.

(Giggling)

Which I guess you don’t.

Maybe you do.

(Both laughing)

Please.

That’s so seventh grade.

Aww, I think it’s cute!

When have you ever seen Connor

so-- so bursting with joy?

His sixth birthday.

When he got the advanced

magician kit.

I mean with a girl.

I told you-- acupuncture was the

ticket.

Look at him!

He looks fantastic!

(Both laughing)

Maybe Tally isn’t Connor's

type.

What are you talking about?

You’re the one who hooked them

up.

So?

Maybe I was wrong.

But you told me she makes

paper in her spare time.

And grows organic vegetables and

is a Capricorn, just like

Connor!

Connor!

Don’t forget about riding home

together.

We’re buying new socks, right?

(Both laughing)

(Sighing)

(Door opening)

You go on without me.

’Cause Tally and I are going

over to the second-hand

bookstore on Gerrard Street.

But the dust in there is

terrible!

I’ll risk it.

Since the acupuncture, I’ve

hardly been reacting to

anything.

Maybe you’re taking on too

much too soon.

No, I feel great!

You and Maria were absolutely

right about overcoming this

allergy thing.

It’s changed how I feel about

myself and the world around me.

That’s wonderful.

And ever since Tally

suggested I cut out dairy, I’ve

felt even better!

Hey, I’ve been telling you to

get off dairy for years!

I couldn’t believe it!

It was now obvious that when I

put all those needles back in

Connor, I must have hit some

major self-improvement

meridian.

This was good, right?

So, it was the most amazing,

most incredible thing I ever

saw!

The kid was hanging from the

high diving board like this with

the pool beneath him.

Except there was no water in it.

So, what happens?

He falls, right?

Let me finish!

Then he--

falls, okay?

Mom, Adam never lets me finish a

story!

MOM: And interrupting is

rude.

Sharon, what about your day?

Yeah, dinner’s great.

(Giggling)

♪

Watching Connor be so

romantic and thoughtful made me

see him in a whole new light.

I’d never really thought about

it, but these were excellent

traits to have in a boyfriend.

Ow!

Head’s up!

A little late.

Sorry!

Hey, are you okay?

That looked like it hurt.

Tal, you’re so thoughtful.

Enough to make me sick,

really.

♪

(Bell ringing)

(Bubbling)

Perfect.

So, this whole acid neutralizing

thing is really just about

chemical reactions.

Yeah.

(Bubbling)

Cool.

Kind of magical, isn’t it?

Uh, hey, Tally?

Have you got any extra acid?

Here, we’ve got plenty!

Well, if you need extra.

Thanks.

Check this out!

Connor’s always been into

science.

Me, too.

CONNOR: Well, look at this!

Well, of course.

That’s the acid neutralizing the

indicator.

I knew that was going to happen.

You did?

TALLY: And did you know acid

can have other effects, Sharon?

It can eat through paper.

Or burn wood.

Or sear plastic.

That’s all true.

It’s very dangerous.

Even a little bit can work

its way through your clothes and

then your flesh, maiming you

forever.

Right, Connor?

I guess.

Well, what about that guy I

was telling you about, Connor?

The one who made that sodium

hydroxide thing.

Which guy?

And it generated lots and

lots of heat.

Oh, yeah?

Like, enough to call the fire

department?

Like, enough to cause a big,

big expl*si*n!

Humph!

Humph!

♪

Wait up!

What was that?

What was what?

Meow!

I don’t know what you're

talking about.

You, Connor and this big

thing you’ve had for him ever

since he got new and improved.

Connor and me?

Please.

My sentiments exactly.

But if this is what I think it

is, then you’re being oh so

superficial, I can’t even

believe it.

Hello?

You are way off!

How could I like Connor like

that?

(Bell ringing)

Okay, I do like him like that.

I don’t know what's come over

me!

What’s my problem?

Am I totally superficial?

Is that all it takes for me to

like a guy-- good looks?

How shallow could I get?

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

There’s only one way to find

out.

We have to take this quiz in

Tender Times.

Ready?

"When you see a good-looking

guy, do you:

A) Whistle.

B) Ask to see his report card.

C) Stare long and hard.

Or D) All of the above."

Um, C) Stare long and hard.

Unless they look back and then

you have to pretend you weren’t

looking in the first place.

Hmm, okay, next.

"If you could take only one

thing on a desert island, would

it be:

A) A picture of your favourite

movie star.

B) A bag of potato chips.

C) Your makeup.

Or D) All of the above."

How could all of the above be

a choice?

You can only take one thing!

Oh, you’re right.

This quiz is obviously totally

bogus.

I was only reading this magazine

because it had an article on

triathlons.

But I answered C to that

first question.

Maybe I’m on a complete downward

spiral here.

It’s hard to tell.

Let’s look at the options.

You’re either being totally

superficial or totally sincere.

Which is it?

I don’t know.

What if I’m being both?

’Cause look, whatever you're

being is stressing Connor out.

SHARON NARRATING: Maria was

right.

The last time I saw Connor

break out in such a big rash

was when someone hid Judy

Farfel’s gym bag in his locker

and she accused him of stealing

her dirty bra and underwear.

He’s probably had a crush on

you since you were both in the

playpen together.

Really?

You think so?

What had I done?

I thought I liked Connor more

than just a friend now.

I really did!

But did I like him so much more

that I would get in between him

and a real live girlfriend?

(Motor whirring)

Hi!

Hi.

You’re walking the beasts.

You’re mowing the lawn.

Very brave.

(Sneezing)

(Groaning)

Listen, uh--

(Sneezing)

We’ve been friends for a long

time, right?

(Dog grunting)

I guess you’re due for

another acupuncture session,

huh?

And, well, I’m going to stop

going with Tally.

It’s just not going to work if

you don’t like her.

I like Tally!

I never said I didn’t like

Tally.

But, you see, you’re way more

important to me as a friend.

I really have to walk these

guys.

A very, very close friend.

(Grunting)

Samson, Pigger!

We gotta go!

I mean, next to my mother,

you’re probably the most

meaningful person in my life.

I really need to go.

These guys are getting totally

antsy.

So, uh, maybe we could go to

the movies tonight.

I finally got what I wanted.

So, why was I feeling so

strange and mixed up?

Sharon?

Sure, that would be fun!

SHARON NARRATING: Connor and

I had seen about 62 movies

together.

Not including videos, but who’s

counting?

We both knew this was

different.

This was a date.

(Sniffing)

Ugh, can you smell the germs

out here?

And the fumes?

Do you think they’re going to

interfere with my recovery?

Couldn’t say.

Hey!

And none of that artificial

butter.

Oh, and if you could just line

the popcorn bag with napkins?

That’d be great.

And if you have any bottled

juices with no additives?

Even better.

Connor, we’d better get

seats.

(Both laughing)

So.

Have you made the title page yet

for your chemistry assignment?

Yeah.

That’s great!

Suddenly it felt like I was

talking to Alden.

But I didn’t feel wobbly.

I felt like I was in quicksand,

sinking deeper and deeper.

Uh, will you excuse me?

I have to go to the bathroom.

I’ll just be up the street at my

dad’s office.

What I normally would have

said here was, "Please!

There are germs in private

bathrooms, too!"

ANNOUNCER: It’s crazy, it's

zany!

It’s twins who switch bodies

and nobody notices.

(Both laughing)

SHARON NARRATING: Somehow

when Connor and I were just

friends, his quirks were just

part of who he was.

They were something to tease

him about.

But now that I was trying

Connor on as a boyfriend--

well, it changed everything.

It was like we had to follow

some invisible rules about how

to be together.

(Both laughing)

We couldn’t joke the way we

used to, we couldn’t even be

aggravated with each other!

And I hate to admit this, but

with no Tally around, Connor

wasn’t so cool.

Even if he was better looking.

Before I ruined everything

between us, I knew I had to

either:

A) Go back to being just

friends with Connor.

B) Tell the acupuncturist to

fix what I messed up.

C) Let Tally work her charm

again.

Or D) All of the above.

(Sneezing)

(Snorting)

(Sneezing)

I can’t wait for my next

appointment!

Obviously, D) was the only

choice.

You know, Con, private bathrooms

have germs, too.

Old habits are hard to break.

Acupuncture or not.

Connor?

Uh-huh?

Let’s say we get out of here

and do some laundry.

I wore layers so we could do a

double load.

Me too!

Just in case the movie didn’t

work out.

(Both laughing)

Being friends with Connor was

my destiny.

I finally got that.

And luckily, he seemed to

agree.

Maybe things don’t always have

to change to get better.

Maybe you just have to

appreciate what you already

have.

I’m not sure if I just made

that up or if I read it on a

poster somewhere.

Whatever!

It feels real.

♪