01x07 - Mixed Messages

[bunniefuu]

♪

(Beeping)

♪ Something tells me

I’ve been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was

never real ♪

♪ It’s seems I've changed

a thousand ways ♪

♪ I wish I looked

the way I feel ♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Ah

♪ Ah

♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Braceface

SHARON: How does something

get to be cool?

I haven’t figured out how that

works, exactly, but lately the

Spinning Disc was the place to

be on Friday nights.

Cell phones were a have to

have, and our school hockey

team The Pickford Pucks were

the team to watch.

Oh yeah.

And the boyfriend-girlfriend

thing.

Boy, it was starting to get

serious.

Of course Nina was the first to

claim the new German

exchange student as hers.

Heimirich, or Heinrich-- No one

quite knew his real name-- Was

perfect for her.

He didn’t understand a word of

English.

As Nina kept reminding us,

landing the only boy in our

class who had facial hair was

quite an accomplishment.

Lucky for me, this new

development meant the path to

Alden was free and clear.

Every time we have a game

coming up I gotta listen to some

’70s classics.

I hear ya, pal.

But I’m an '80s man on that

front.

Nah.

The ’70s tunes get me in the

mood to win.

And I’m telling you that

disco beat-- It just gets me in

the mood.

(Laughing)

(Rock playing)

(Sharon sighing)

Don’t you just love the way he

listens to music?

A vision of pure beauty.

Hi!

Oh, hey!

What are you listening to?

The Who.

Wanna hear?

Yeah!

Pete Townsend, best guitar

player I know.

Yeah.

If you think I heard one word

of Teenage Wasteland, you’re

crazy.

I was in my own La-La-Land,

thinking about Alden’s left ear

touching my right one.

Isn’t my new cell cute?

Just punch in your number and

pass it on, okay?

(Beeping)

Hey, Alden!

Give me your cell so I can put

my number in.

You never know.

We might need to reach other in

case of an emergency or

something.

It’s only an AB200.

It was the latest when I got it.

(Beeping)

Ow!

Hey what are you storing in

there?

(Giggling)

Uh, money.

I don’t carry a wallet.

I just keep it in my shoe.

(Both laughing)

SHARON: No way!

Ever since I was a kid.

I always lose my wallets, but I

never lose my shoes.

Hey, there’s my baby.

Come on, let’s keep this line

moving.

I didn’t really care about

number.

The only one that truly

mattered was Alden’s, of

course.

But you knew that, right?

I don’t know how The Who can

put you in the mood to win.

They’re so--

Inspiring?

No.

Over.

Try timeless.

Listen to this guitar riff.

Whatever, no biggie.

As long as you don’t force us to

do a cover at our next gig.

Nobody would come.

Sharon would.

She likes them, too.

You mean Braceface?

Yes, so, uh... Do you think

she’s cute?

What?

(YELLING): Do you think she’s

cute?

Yeah, if you like the taste

of metal.

Don’t tell me you're into her

again.

No, no.

Now here are the choice ones

out there.

These girls are totally hot.

You keep a list in your

jeans?

Easy access.

Mrs. Munroe!

She’s married.

She’s still hot.

Maria Wong?

Yeah, I love active chicks.

Don’t you?

I mean, how weird is it that

we both tap our thumbs.

Out of all the fingers!

Yeah, yeah.

And the money in the shoe

thing?

Come on.

Spooky.

And how about--

Sharon!

I can’t take it anymore.

What?

Tell him how you feel, not

me.

I’ve thought about it, but

you know me.

If I try to tell him I’ll

probably mess it up.

I doubt it.

You’ve practiced enough with me.

Have you noticed how

everybody’s, like, paired up

these days?

Like who?

Like Adam and Hannah.

Uh, Connor and Tally.

Nina and Heimirich.

Heinrich?

Please, he’s here for what?

Three weeks?

That’s about the time it'll take

for him to catch on to Nina’s

evil ways.

I still feel like I’m missing

out.

On what?

Having Heimirich-- Heinrich’s

three moustache hairs tickling

your delicate lips?

Ew!

Gross me out.

Ditto.

So, who do you like?

Oh, uh... Let me think.

Mr. Hophoff.

Seriously.

Oh, I dunno.

Nobody.

Who’s there to like?

I mean, I’ve got better things

to do than salivate over guys

and how they drum their thumbs

to The Who.

Now will you please get off my

sleeping bag with your stinky

feet.

I’m gonna get you!

So there was my best friend

Maria, totally not into this

couple thing, and all I could

think of was how to get Alden

to be my boyfriend for real,

so that everyone would know.

The way we all knew about Nina

and Heinrich.

I knew Alden and I were

starting to connect, but how

could I get him to commit?

♪

SHARON: Maria was right.

I couldn’t keep waiting for

Alden to make the first move.

I had to take matters into my

own hands.

(Beeping)

(Phone ringing)

Please don’t pick up, please

don’t pick up.

VOICEMAIL: Hey, it’s Alden.

Leave a message and I’ll get

back to you when I can.

Go Pickford Pucks!

(Beeping)

Hi.

It’s Sharon.

Sharon Spitz.

I, uhm... wanted to let you know

that it’s so obvious we're

soul mates.

I realized it at the record

store the other day.

Actually, I realized it the day

we met.

Anyway, you’re really nice and

you’re really fun, and I just

hope you don’t think I'm all

weird for saying this, but I

couldn’t keep it a secret

anymore.

The money-shoe thing’s weird,

but sort of a sign, don’t you

think-- Bye!

(Sharon groaning)

Hey, Sharon.

You okay?

Oh, I think I just did

something I shouldn’t have done.

Uh-oh.

How bad?

I left a voicemail for Alden

telling him we were soul mates.

That’s as bad as it gets.

Don’t you know it's a total

turnoff to a guy if you throw

yourself at him?

Now you tell me.

How do I erase it?

First, we have to get into

his voicemail system.

Statistics prove that people use

their pet names or their

birthdays as their code.

Birthday.

January 17th, 1988.

Capricorn.

Okay, try that.

One one seven one nine eight

eight.

VOICEMAIL: You have one new

message.

It worked!

Press one to hear your

message.

Press two to forward your

message.

Press three to erase your

message.

(Bell ringing)

Oops!

(Buzzing)

Did it work?

Did you hit three?

I think so.

Huh?

(Buzzing)

(Phone ringing)

SHARON’S MESSAGE: Hi, it’s

Sharon.

Sharon Spitz.

I, uhm... wanted to let you

know that it’s so obvious we're

soul mates.

Wow.

I realized it at the record

store the other day.

Actually, I realized it the day

we met.

Anyway, you’re really nice and

you’re really fun, and I just

hope you don’t think I'm all

weird for saying this, but I

couldn’t keep it a secret

anymore.

The money-shoe thing’s weird,

but sort of a sign.

Don’t you think-- Bye!

(Beeping)

Hey!

Dude!

What’s up?

I had to tell you about the

coolest message I got.

Now?

I’m in study hall.

From Sharon Spitz.

Really?

She left me a message on my

cell phone.

She’s totally into me.

She said she’s been wanting to

tell me for the longest time.

She did?

Isn’t that cool?

I like a girl who speaks her

mind.

But, yesterday you were

calling her Braceface.

Hey, don’t quote me on things

I said yesterday.

Yesterday is so... yesterday.

Uh... Yeah, right.

Cool.

So, you know what this means.

What?

You guys just don’t get it.

The Who was, and still is, this

totally cool band.

I mean, Alden and I might be the

only two who get this, but they

had a complete influence on the

whole music scene in the ’80s.

Name one.

Okay, like The Ramones.

And that’s not all.

Oh.

Brock.

Hi.

Hi, Sharon.

Sharon Spitz.

I was just thinking about the

day we met, back in seventh

grade.

You were?

Yeah!

Remember when I tried to

convince you that rabbit poops

were liquorice chews?

Oh, yeah.

I remember that fondly.

(Laughing)

That was so funny.

You almost ate them.

(Chuckling)

Check it out.

I did it myself last summer.

What does the 13 stand for?

It’s not a 13.

It’s a B, for Brock.

Or bozo.

Please!

Who would try to give themselves

a real tattoo?

(Giggling)

(Bell ringing)

It’s just that I would never

put you two together.

Yeah, but you should’ve seen

her at lunch.

She was totally into my tattoo.

What, you mean that 13 thing?

Before I put on my French

hat, I want to remind everyone

of the hockey game this weekend.

Big game, big game everyone.

Extra credit in French if you

show up.

Party at my house, win or lose.

(Cheering)

Now, bonjour madame et

monsieur.

ALL: Bonjour, Professeur

Hophoff.

For today’s assignment, I

want everyone to pair up and

pretend you’re at a French

restaurant ordering food.

One will be the server, and the

other the customer.

Am I clear?

SHARON: The dreaded pair-up

ritual.

Even though I hated being so

pathetic, I thought I’d give

Alden one more chance.

If he said no, then that was

it.

There’s only so far a girl can

go down the path of

humiliation.

Mademoiselle Sharon, I think

we should study such a romantic

language together, n’est pas?

Oops!

I’ve got it.

(Giggling)

ALDEN: Hey, do you want to be

my customer?

MARIA: Sure!

I mean oui.

Uhm... "pampermouse" s’il vous

plaît.

You want a pampered moose?

(Giggling)

No.

Uhm, pamplemousse!

Grapefruit.

(Laughing)

How ’bout this?

Je veux some French fries.

Get it?

Get it?

Well, it looked like this was

all the proof I needed.

Alden simply didn’t want to be

my boyfriend.

Madame waitress, I think you

should join me at my candlelight

dinner.

And it looked like Brock did.

I call this one Middle Child

with Moishe.

(Purring)

SHARON: To be with Brock, or

not to be with Brock.

That was the question.

Hey, you just ruined my

portrait!

Just because the boy I liked

didn’t like me, did that mean I

should be deprived of the whole

boyfriend experience?

I call this Middle Child

Ruins First Portrait and Forces

Younger Brother to Start All

Over.

I mean, soon I was going to

be in high school, and then

college.

I needed to have at least one

boyfriend before I started

Harvard.

Come on, stop moving.

I’m gonna get an F in art, and

you know what that spells.

(Doorbell ringing)

BOTH: I got it!

"Want to give you a bear hug,

but here’s a bear instead.

Brock."

(SINGSONG): Sharon has a

boyfriend, Sharon has a

boyfriend.

I couldn’t believe it.

No guy had ever given me a

present before.

I mean, no guy that wasn’t a

family member.

So Brock wasn’t Alden, but

maybe I was being too quick to

write him off.

He did play center for the

Pickford Pucks.

He at least tried to be funny.

And he just gave me a teddy

bear.

I call this one Sharon,

Brock’s Bear.

(Giggling)

Okay, I have to confess

something.

I think a part of me really

likes Alden.

BOTH: What?

Alden Jones?

Well, maybe it’s not Alden

really, but the attention he

gave me in class today.

I mean, I would never step on

Sharon’s territory.

Good.

But there’s something about

him.

Well--

Hey!

Tally!

Oh, sorry, sorry.

I didn’t mean to.

But you’re lucky.

Tie-dye is totally in.

No problem.

(Cheering)

Go Pickford Pucks!

Whoo!

Tally loves hockey.

And Connor hates it.

(Giggling)

(Cheering)

(Whistle blowing)

(Crowd sighing)

KID: Pickford Pucks!

Come on!

Wook.

Shawon bwought her teddy bear.

Ooh, but she forgot her

bwankie.

(Giggling)

So, does the bear mean you

guys are going out now or what?

No.

Yeah.

I dunno.

It means someone gave me a gift.

I want him to know I like it.

Mm-hmm.

And what about Alden?

Is this like the complete end of

a forever crush?

Maria made it sound so final.

I couldn’t help but sort of

squirm inside.

Then I remembered something my

brother Adam always said: When

the going gets tough, the tough

get a life.

I’ve thought about it, and quite

frankly, I just don’t have the

time to wait for him forever.

Okay, so you won’t go all

crazy if we partner up in French

again, or hang out at lunch, or

something?

As friends?

Well, yeah.

Of course you guys can be

friends.

When did I ever say you couldn’t

be?

Please, I’m not that immature.

I score tonight on the ice, I

score tonight with Sharon Spitz.

Jerk.

Hey!

What’s your problem?

We’re on the same team!

REFEREE: Penalty.

Two minutes for unsportsmanlike

conduct.

ANNOUNCER: Penalty to the

Pickford Pucks.

SHARON: What was he doing?

Why did he go after Brock like

that?

Brock is going to go to first

base with Sharon.

Brock’s planning to go to

first base with Sharon.

Brock’s planning to go to

first base with Sharon.

Brock’s planning to go to

first base with Sharon.

Rumour has it Brock’s going

to first base with you tonight.

What?

First.

What does that mean exactly?

Was I supposed to kiss Brock?

Was that even first?

Why did everybody know all this

stuff before me?

(Buzzing)

(Cheering)

ANNOUNCER: And that’s it,

folks.

The Pickford Pucks have won

their fifth straight game of

the season.

(Rock music playing)

I know I said it wouldn’t bug

me, but part of me was feeling

jealous about Maria and Alden.

(Giggling)

You know, every time I scored

a goal tonight-- And I scored a

lot-- I thought of you.

You did?

Sorry, will you excuse me.

Hey!

Whoa!

Sharon!

I can’t do it.

He actually tried to put his

tongue in my mouth.

BOTH: Ew!

Maybe he’s just inspired by

all those French classes.

I don’t care!

French kissing is creeping over

the line into second base, and I

totally won’t go there.

I bet you would with Alden.

What are you talking about?

I told you I’m over him.

Totally.

Right, that’s why you had to

run over and grab me away from

him.

Oh, I can’t help it.

What’s wrong with me?

Do you really want me to

answer that?

(Knocking on door)

What?

It’s Connor.

Ha, she spilled again.

(Giggling)

I can’t hang out at a victory

party totally soaked.

Guys, can we just get out of

here?

Hey, there you are.

What was with you tonight on the

ice?

You went crazy, dude.

Are you just going after

Sharon Spitz in order to mess

around with her?

What?

No way, man.

She totally likes me.

I don’t get it.

Here, check it out for

yourself.

I saved her message.

Call me sentimental.

SHARON’S MESSAGE: Actually, I

realized it the day we met.

Anyway, you’re really nice and

you’re really fun, and I just

hope you don’t think I'm all

weird for saying this, but I

couldn’t keep it a secret

anymore.

The money-shoe thing’s weird,

but sort of a sign.

Don’t you think-- Bye!

So, Brock.

Do you do the money in the shoe

thing, too?

Dude, that’s the weird part.

I have no idea what that means.

I never have any money, and you

know me.

I like to go au naturel whenever

I can.

Exactly.

SHARON: Even though

everything was starting to feel

cooler about being my age, it

was also really complicated.

I didn’t know this whole

guy-girl thing could get so

mixed up.

Maybe Maria was right about

avoiding it altogether.

But it sure would be nice to

watch the stars with someone

you’ve had a crush on.

CONNOR: Statistics prove that

people use their pet names...

(Phone ringing)

Oh!

(Gasping)

(Dial tone beeping)

Oh.

No biggie.

VOICEMAIL: Hi, you’ve reached

Sharon.

At the message, leave a beep.

I mean-- Uh, you know.

(Beeping)

Hey, Sharon.

It’s Alden.

Uhm, I was thinking--

(Phone beeping)

I couldn’t help it.

I had to check my voicemail

right away, just in case.

There was always a million in

one chance it could be a life

altering message.

VOICEMAIL: Hey, Sharon.

It’s Alden.

Uhm, I was thinking you’re

really nice, and funny, and we

have so much in common.

Maybe we should hang out.

I mean, outside school.

Isn’t it weird that we both

keep money in our shoes?

(Beeping)

SHARON: Like I said, you

never know.

(Cheering)

♪