01x10 - Driving Miss Sharon

[bunniefuu]

♪

(Beeping)

♪ Something tells me

I’ve been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was

never real ♪

♪ It’s seems I've changed

a thousand ways ♪

♪ I wish I looked

the way I feel ♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Ah

♪ Ah

♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Braceface

♪

SHARON NARRATING: What is it

about participating in winter

sports that makes me cringe?

Am I afraid of falling on

something hard, or am I just

afraid of failing?

I don’t know.

But, lately I’ve been thinking

I have some serious issues

around risk taking.

The road, Adam; you want to stay

on the road.

Oooh, Shar a little touchy,

today?

That’s because I'm fearing

for my life, here.

Come on, we all know it’s

winter games week.

So?

Didn’t your eyes start to

twitch about this time last

year?

Yeah, wasn’t that the same

time you started practicing to

drive?

(Horn honking)

Hey, watch out!

Sharon, be nice.

Adam needs positive support,

he’s going for his license,

today.

For the third time.

I’ve gone over the handbook so

many times with him, even I

could pass the test.

Oh, no!

Whoa!

They have foam padding in those

things, right?

Uh, Mom, can I have money for

a cab?

Don’t forget to check the

side mirrors when changing

lanes, Adam.

It comes in handy if you don’t

want to wipe out entire

populations.

And, don’t forget to move

your feet when playing any

sport.

It can actually improve your

chances of winning.

Hmphf.

♪

(Cheering)

sh**t!

(Everyone yelling "sh**t!")

I wanted to, I really did.

But, what if I missed the net?

Wasn’t it easier to just let

someone else try it?

(Cheering)

Way to go, Blizzards!

Connor.

Oh, Connor!

Did you get us winning, and

Sharon losing it?

Those are the kind of moments

we all want for the video

yearbook.

♪

Go as fast as you can, okay?

And, don’t miss any gates.

Our team really needs to make up

some points in this one.

It’s too steep!

I can’t do this.

Sure, you can!

(Whistle blowing)

♪

(Whistle blowing)

Hey!

(Grunting)

Ow!

(Whistle blowing)

Go, Blizzards!

(Cheering)

Go, Icemen!

Take it!

I...I got it.

Now, go!

Whoa!

(Grunting)

Ow!

Gee, Braceface, I wish you

were on our team.

Oh, wait, with the way you’re

helping us win, you kind of are.

Plain and simple, I had

choked.

And, all because I was afraid

to just go for it.

Could anything else make me a

bigger loser?

(Springing)

Ow-- ow!

I had to ask.

Yee-haw!

Coming through!

Hey, outta our way!

Yo, get off the sidewalk.

Hey!

Oh, get a life, will ya?

Can you believe those smebs?

Just because they’re in high

school doesn’t mean that they

own the sidewalk.

I hope they crash and burn.

Ow.

So, as I was saying, on top of

everything, now I gotta go see

Dr. Hertz.

Do you know what I have to

suffer through on those visits?

Enough!

Open wide.

Huh?

I wanna see what’s wrong with

your mouth.

Ugh, it’s one wire!

One teensy, tiny, little wire.

I can fix that.

You?

Oh, how hard can it be?

Uh, Maria, we’re talking

orthodontistry, here.

They’re specialists.

No problem.

(Horn honking)

Hey, Sharon, check it out.

And, with this, I’m a free man!

You got your license.

Yippee.

If mom gets home early, tell

her I’ve gone for a drive.

Great, even Adam can rise

above his limited capacities.

(Piano playing)

Ugh!

I’m surrounded by success!

Do you know how that makes me

feel?

Come on.

Let’s see what we've got, here.

Oh, these oughta do nicely.

Say, "aw."

(Garage door opening)

(Screaming)

Relax, I’m a pro, now.

Of course, I had to rely on my

stunning hand, foot and eye

co-ordination to be the success

I am today, ha-ha-ha.

Unlike you.

From what I hear, you were a

complete spaz in every event,

today.

Listen--

Hey, sit back, I’m not done

here.

Hey, Sharon, too bad you

won’t be able to put any medals

next to mine on the mantelpiece.

(Laughing)

What could I say?

He was right.

Not only was I a loser at

school, I was the big loser in

my family.

Stay still.

Uhh...

Stay still.

(Electricity zapping)

Whoa, what was that?

What did you do?

You must have messed with

something in here.

Something must be going on

with the remote.

(Gasping)

Sharon!

I think it’s my braces doing

it.

Stop freaking me out.

Remember picture day, when I

broke the camera?

Or, when I opened your journal

without picking the lock?

Or, that time I set off the

alarm in the jewellery store?

It was these things!

You serious?

Uh-huh, and I never know when

weird things are gonna happen.

(Engine revving)

(Horn honking)

Cool!

Come on.

I’m sick of being such a coward.

If Adam can do it, so can I.

♪

♪

So, that’s it, then.

Straight to Life Cycles, and

straight back, I promise.

Sharon, what are you doing?!

Hey, Connor, jump in!

This is great footage.

Classic "rights of passage"

stuff.

Yeah, about three years too

early.

Just edit out the bad parts

for the video yearbook, okay?

I thought you knew how to

drive!

I’m getting it, I'm getting

it, hold on.

I’m starting to think walking

is underrated.

♪

BOTH: Yeah!

Hey, Nina, too bad you had to

wait in line for your smoothie.

We’re just gonna use the

drive-thru.

Was that Sharon?

Driving her mother’s car?!

(Laughing)

Maria, get inside.

Life Cycles doesn’t even have a

drive-thru.

They should.

Did you see the expression on

Nina’s face?

(All Laughing)

Hey, where are you going?

Home.

My mom’s gonna be back, soon.

Your street’s up here.

That would mean turning left.

I don’t like to do that.

Oh, you know this from your

half-hour of driving experience?

You’re just like my

grandmother.

She hates going left, too.

She’ll go all the way around the

block, just to avoid it.

I don’t think she's turned left

in ten years.

Uh, Sharon, wasn’t that your

turn?

I didn’t like that turn.

You’re totally like my

grandma!

Brakes!

Brakes!

I’m trying!

(Horn honking)

That’s the gas!

Oh, no!

(All screaming)

Make it stop!

Whoa!

Uh, is everybody okay?

What’d we hit?

A tree!

Ah-ha, there are the brakes.

I’m glad you found them.

Aren’t you going to check out

the car?

Are you kidding?

I have to get home before my mom

gets back.

Do you know what will happen if

she catches me?

My life will be over.

SHARON NARRATING: You know

that feeling you get when

you’ve squeezed a pimple to

make it better, but it only

makes it worse?

The only thing you can do to

make it better is avoid looking

at it.

The bumper of my mom’s car?

That was my pimple.

What?

What, is it bad?

It’s bad, isn't it?

(Groaning)

Oh, it’s awful.

Uh...it’s nothing.

Your mom will probably...

never...notice.

(Groaning)

♪

(Cats meowing)

What am I going to do?

What am I going to do?

Guys, do you think I could say

you chased a squirrel up a

tree using the car?

No good?

Okay.

The only thing to wish for now,

is that it’s a long, long time

before mom finds out.

HELEN: Adam?!

I guess that was too much to

ask for.

Adam Francis Spitz.

Yeah?

One day you have had your

license.

Actually, six hours.

So, what happened?

Huh?

The dent; what did you hit?

And, when were you going to tell

me about it?

I went around the block.

That’s it.

So, how did my car get that

crater in it’s bumper?

I have no idea.

Adam, if you’re gonna be

responsible enough to have your

license, you have to be

responsible enough to tell the

truth.

But, I am telling you the

truth.

I don’t know anything about a

dent.

I have one set of keys, and

you have the other.

I’m sorry it has to be this way:

no car for three months.

What?!

But, that’s not right.

It’s not fair.

And, you have to work off the

cost of getting it fixed.

You mean--

Doing the dishes.

Vacuuming, dusting, sweeping,

doing the laundry, washing out

the tub, feeding the dogs,

cleaning out the dishwasher--

Ugh, Mom!

Why do I always have to do all

this?

I felt terrible for Adam.

I really did, but I knew that

if I told the truth, I’d feel

even worse after mom got

through with me.

I don’t even have my license!

♪

So?

So, what?

So, are you accepting social

invitations, or, are you

grounded until you actually get

your license?

That bad, huh?

My mom things Adam did it.

Oh, and let me guess, you

didn’t say anything?

I’m waiting for the

appropriate time.

Like, when?

Like, my next life.

Sharon!

(Group whispering)

You’re Sharon Spitz, right?

Uh-huh?

The Sharon Spitz who hotwired

a car and took it for a joy-ride

past Life Cycles yesterday?

Wha--

Will you sign my notebook?

STUDENT: Can I have your

autograph?

It was unbelievable ; I,

Sharon Spitz, suddenly had a

buzz going on about me.

A big buzz!

I went from being Braceface the

loser to rebel girl.

I loved it.

Nice driving, Spitz.

Oh, Nina, hi.

Love to talk, but...

So, where’d you learn the

hotwiring stuff?

Some things just come

naturally.

I mean, I remember when I was

four, I drove the tractor lawn

mower into my neighbour’s pool.

That’s the day my mom learned

she couldn’t control me.

No one can.

They wanted autographs?

Not just that.

Every time she told a story, it

got bigger and stupider.

Like, about how she has to wear

sunglasses now, ’cause she's on

the run from the cops.

Or, how she’s getting ready to

drive across North America to

stand up for the rights of

thirteen-year-olds.

We have rights?

BOY: Hey, Spitz!

(Cheering)

Can you give me a lift?

(Laughing)

Maybe she has brain damage.

Like, from the shock of the

crash?

I don’t know, but something's

wrong with her head.

Hi, can you watch this?

I’m just gonna get an espresso.

Since when do you drink

anything stronger than a

strawberry smoothie?

Since I felt like it.

Doesn’t she know how bad

caffeine is for her?

You see those smebs over

there?

They’re having a house party

Saturday night, and I’m invited.

I never get invited.

At least, not to that kind of

party.

Do you want me to check out

whether you guys can come?

Oh, please.

They are so not our type.

Listen, Sharon, Maria and I

think you should tell your mom

what happened.

(Laughing)

Listen, you guys: believe me,

I’ve thought about it.

This is just one of those times

when you gotta let fate run its

course, and make the most out of

it.

Hey, Spitz.

Come on over and sit with us!

Hope you don’t mind if I

mingle, today.

Come on, grab a chair.

Come sit over here.

Drink your coffee with us.

Brain damage?

Definitely.

(Laughing)

BOY ON TV: It’s crazy, it's

zany, it’s twins!

Hey, Adam.

Why don’t you come watch TV with

me?

No time.

I cleaned the upstairs, the

downstairs, the garage, and the

porch.

Now, I’m psyching myself up for

the basement.

Oh, you want help?

What’s the point?

I have nothing else to do.

At least, nothing that matters.

I have a license, but no car.

Do you know what that’s like?

It’s like, having a tennis

racket without a ball, or feet

without shoes!

Okay, maybe not that.

But, still, what’s the point?

I’ve never seen you so down.

And, I’ve never seen you so

up.

Was that you singing in the

shower this morning?

Those high notes were pretty

decent.

You think so?

’Cause, I...

’Cause I...listen, Adam, it's

not fair for you to have to

take the blame for this.

You’re right!

I am?

I’m not gonna take the blame

anymore!

I’m gonna find out what

really happened to mom’s car.

Then, I’m gonna get even.

Uh, you could do that.

You believe I’m an innocent

man, don’t you?

Well, that’s just it, I have

something I have to talk to you

about--

If it’s about your usual,

boring dilemmas, forget it.

I’m too busy!

SHARON NARRATING: I tried to

tell him what happened.

I really did.

But, then he just went back to

being his usual brotherly self.

What was I supposed to do,

chase him down?

(Belching)

(Laughing)

Is this your future, Sharon?

Hanging out with a bunch of

borderline reform school losers?

They blow off half their

classes, and then for fun, steal

bikes at night or smash up

mailboxes.

Not all of them.

Sharon, they’re so not you.

Can’t there be a happy

balance?

Ugh, come on, now it’s time

for serious action.

I was hoping we could avoid

this, but I guess not.

What are you talking about?

Maybe it was Mrs. Warren.

She’s always asking mom for

rides downtown.

Oh, what, you think she

kicked it in?

That’s a possibility.

A 75-year-old woman kicked in

mom’s car?

Maybe.

Or, who knows, maybe it’s

someone in our very own family.

What do you mean?

I mean you, Josh!

You ran into it with your bike,

and didn’t want mom to know.

Oh, yeah, that’s it,

Sherlock.

Only the mountain bike would

have to be as big as a tree to

cause that.

Then, what did?

Uh...

(Grunting)

Your brother failed his

driver’s test.

He studied, he practiced, he got

better.

Now, it’s your turn.

You need to excel at healthy,

risk-taking activities.

You can do it.

We’re going to study your

performance at the games, and

then we’ll practice, so you can

gain confidence and get better.

We’re here as friends,

Sharon.

To coach you.

Are you serious?

The last thing I wanna do is

re-live the hockey game.

Or, the ski race.

Ugh, or the relay-- make it

stop!

Make it stop!

Hey, relax.

We’re not gonna make you do

anything you don’t wanna do.

(Tires screeching)

(Screaming)

Make it stop!

(Crashing)

I can’t believe you taped

that.

I’m not gonna show it to

anyone.

What if Adam sees it?

Or, my mother?

Give me that tape!

(Grunting)

Sharon!

♪

Here’s what we think, mom.

We think a lumber company drove

by--

With, like, trees sticking

out the back of the truck.

He made a wrong turn--

And, had to turn around, or

something.

So, to save time, he pulled

into our driveway.

He backs up, towards the garage,

where the garage door was open.

And, that’s when he backed

into the car.

Which explains the size of the

dent, and the splinters of wood

we found.

So, what do you think?

Adam, I think you should

accept responsibility for what

you did, and not involve your

brother in trying to get out of

it.

But, but, Mom!

(Groaning)

♪

(Siren wailing)

(Sighing)

(Dog barking)

Adam?

Sharon!

I think I’ve almost figured it

out.

Adam, I have something to

show you.

(Screaming)

Make it stop!

(Crashing)

So, this means that you did--

Uh-huh.

I knew it wasn’t me!

You were right.

How hard do you think she’ll be

on me?

Well, probably not hard

enough.

If she asks me, I’d say put you

up for adoption.

Do you know what it’s been like

being a sl*ve around here?

Pretty bad.

So, why’d you do that, huh?

Why’d you let mom think I

smashed the car?

(Sighing)

I don’t know.

I guess I thought you’d do the

same to me, and I’d get in worse

trouble, and, I’m sorry, Adam.

I really am.

You’re right.

I probably would have done the

same thing.

♪

SHARON NARRATING: I guess

some risks are worth taking

more than others.

The trick is, picking and

choosing the right one.

For now, I’m just following

Maria and Connor’s new

confidence-building program,

and tackling winter sports

slowly.

Of course, being grounded for

the next six lunar cycles kind

of keeps my social life

limited.

Hey, it’s a start, and when I

feel a little more energetic, I

actually might move my feet.

A little.

♪