02x05 - It's How You Play the Game

[bunniefuu]

[theme - moonbaby, "here we go"]

THEME SONG: Here here we go.

We're getting on the
road till we stop.

And then we'll shop.

So one, two, three now, baby.

Here we go, go, go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

On a mission, undercover.

And we're in control.

Here we go.

Here we go.

We're totally spies, so
get on with the show.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

[music playing]

So the nitrogen
compound generates

the friction, causing the
disposal of unwanted organisms.

Wow.

Exactly.

Water oscillating waste.

It's really great to be paired
with someone so smart, Sam.

[sighs]

[whistle blows]

[cheering]

Way to go, David!

Excellent hand off, Alex!

Aw.

So

DAVID: Oh, speak again,
bright angel, for thou art

is glorious to this
night, being o'er

my head as a winged
messenger of heaven.

Oh, David.

David.

Where for art thou, David?

Deny thy father and refuse
thy name, for if thou

will not be but sworn my love--

That was great, Clover.

So full of emotion.

But the character's name
is Romeo, not David.

Shall we go through it again?

[sighs]

- Mm-hmm.
- Guess what?

I'm in love!

Guess what?

I'm in love!
- Guess what?

I'm in love!

He's new.

He's new.

He's new.

He's gorgeous.

He's a genius.

He's an awesome athlete.

Hmm?

[laughter]

Phew!

For a second, I thought we were
talking about the same guy.

Hi, Alex, Clover, Sam.

- Hi, David.
- Hi, David.

Hi, David.

Wait.
[gasps]

Why are you two looking
at my true love that way?

Your true love?

David's the guy I
was talking about.

Well, I inspire
him intellectually.

Whatever.

We've practically held
hands in track and field.

Alex, Sam, look at you
two competing over a guy

when he obviously likes me.

We'll see about that.

Yeah.

All's fair in love and--

[screaming]

Girls, we have
a rather peculiar

situation on our hands.

A single country is dominating
the Winter Olympics.

Let me get this straight.

You pulled us away from David
because of some silly games?

The Olympics are not
just games, Clover.

Nor are they silly.

That's right.

They're a wonderful
international sporting event

that celebrates the
spirit of competition,

something David and
I could appreciate.

Alex, when will you realize
there is no competition?

Argh!

Girls, focus.

Here's the team dominating
speed skating and ice hockey.

And again, in the biathlon.

In fact, they've swept
all the events thus far.

And the weird part is?

The odds of a
single team winning

every medal in every
event are quite minuscule.

Not to mention the fact that the
team excelling in winter sports

is from tropical Zanzibar.

So someone's doing something.

We just don't know who or what.

Exactly.

Now please help yourself
to the digit decoder credit

card, enhanced with
a razor sharp swiping

edge, bracelet handcuffs, heat
sensor 6,000 infrared motion

detector sunglasses, just
sticky enough gloves,

and awful boots, all-weather
fleece, ultralite.

[gasps]

Completely hideous.

Totally your style, Sam.

Hope David likes them.

This mission is too perfect.

I'll go undercover as
one of the athletes.

Oh, so you can tell David
you were in the Olympics?

Forget it.

Yeah, forget it.

Besides, I'm the only one here
who has any business wearing

a form fitting microfiber.

Hmm.
- Ooh!

Alex.

Thanks, Jerry.

I knew you'd see it my way.

You will go undercover
as a reporter.

Sam, you'll go
undercover as a trainer.

And Clover, you will
be a bobsledder.

Hmm.
[gasps]

But that's a
burly person sport.

I'm dainty.

ALEX: Don't be so
modest, Clover.

Your thighs are stronger
than anyone's I know.

[pigs squealing]

Cheerio, girls.

[screaming]

They look like
normal athletes to me.

Oh, well then, case closed.

Let's tell Jerry and go home.

Insults won't solve this case.

And the sooner we
solve it, the sooner

I can return to my true love.

Shopping?

Argh!

That's it.

I'm officially in need
of some alone time.

Fine by me.

I second the motion.

[cheering]

I'm at the Zanzibar ski jump.

And everything appears normal.

I need to look for something
unusual, out of the ordinary,

bizarre.

That'll do.

[gasps]

Huh?

Whoa.

That was some jump.

Mind if I get an interview?

Not at all.

Man, I must have been going
faster than I thought.

Either that or
you've been pumping

a little too much iron lately.

Actually, I don't work out.

Don't work out?

But how can that be?

You're an Olympic athlete.

I just have really
good coaching.

I better get fitted for another
uniform before my next jump.

OK.

Nothing unusual here.

[screams]

Except maybe that.

Ugh.
Oh.

Ooh.

Crap.

Wow, you're incredible.

You must practice a lot.

Huh?

Not really.

Then how did you get so good?

I have a great coach.

In fact, he taught us this
routine just yesterday.

And I was scared I
wouldn't have it memorized.

But he promised
everything would be fine.

And it is.

Hmm?

Oh, you're totally knotted up.

[gasps]

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Um, how do you feel now?

Much better.

The kink's gone.

Right.

Like I belong in
this husky crowd.

[sneezes]

Oh, that's attractive.

Mental note, send
Olympic team hankies.

Oh.

Oh.

What is that?

Ugh.

Gross.

That is not your
everyday sneeze.

There you are.

We've been waiting
for his replacement.

Let's go.
We're up.

Oh, no.
No, no.

There must be some
misunderstanding.

I'm just here to observe.
Really?

I haven't done this before.

And I'm just an intern.

Coach wouldn't steer us wrong.

If you're here, it's because
he knows you're ready.

No.

I swear.

[music playing]

Argh!

[screams]

[screams]

OK.

Thanks for the ride.

Now let me off.

[air horn]

[cheering]

Yeah!

All right, man!

That's it.

Hey, we beat the
record by seven seconds.

I told you coach
knows what he's doing.

With his guidance,
we're unstoppable.

Yay.

Coach.

Huh?

- Alex, Sam.
- Clover.

Alex.

Sam.

Clover.

Well, something weird
is definitely going on.

But I don't think the
athletes are cheating.

I don't know.
Take a look at this.

[gasps]

What is it?

Something from a
bobsledder's nose.

[screaming]

Gross.

You must have been
really undercover

for him not to notice.

I didn't take
it from his nose.

He sneezed it out.

Ew.

I'll send it to
Jerry for analysis.

Other than this, all I got
was that the bobsled team

really likes their coach.

Yeah, the ski jumper
said the same thing.

So did Mira,
the figure skater.

Well, this is one
coach I'd like to meet.

Good idea.

Let's see what we can
find out about him, first.

[laughter]

[sneezes]

Way to ruin our
stealthy approach, Clover.

It's not my fault I'm
allergic to daffodils.

[sneezes]

Memento for David.

[gasps]

It's amazing.

I mean, I brought six
bags for the weekend.

And this guy fits an
entire lab in one bag?

Why such complex
charts on the athletes?

It's all about their
biology, chemistry, and DNA.

Huh?

Hey, Jer, what do you have?

Interesting
development, girls.

The bug you sent is a
synthetic micro-organism

that's undetectable by testing.

Once inside the body,
it releases not only

performance enhancing
hormones, but it

downloads knowledge, as well.

[gasps]

So no one need
ever train again?

Precisely Precisely.

I guess, that's how
Mira knew her routine.

Ha!

I knew they were cheating.

[screams]

What's the matter?

[gasps]

[screams]

Jerry, there's a whole
colony of those bugs,

enough to engineer an entire
Olympic team of super athletes.

[gasps]

Gotta go.

Quick.

Hide in the closet.

Huh?

Mira.

The figure skater?

Yeah.

Only something's
majorly wrong with her.

We gotta do something.

And soon.

Looks like she's
shutting down.

- Argh!
- Shh.

Shh.

[evil laughter]

Yeah, I guess I haven't worked
all the bugs out of my bugs

yet.

Argh!

Shh.

Too much exposure eventually
causes the opposite effect.

Aw.

It's almost sad to see
my first Guinea pig go.

ALEX: She's a human
being, you cheater.

Huh?

Guys, you were
supposed to shush me.

So much for
hanging around here.

Whoa.

[screams]

Ugh.

Just sticky enough.

More like too sticky.

Get them.

Find out who they are.

Huh?

First floor, lingerie.

Aw.

[screams]

That could have gone better.

What are we gonna do now?

Yee-haw!

I knew Mira would
never cheat on purpose.

We gotta fill Jerry in
and get back to the hotel,

so we can figure
out how to help her.

Not so fast.

[screams]

You think my interest
in winter sports

is just a passing fancy?

I was a trained skier
for the '68 Olympics.

You can't outrun
me on the slopes.

Bring it on, gramps.

Yeah!

[screams]

OK.

That's embarrassing.

[screams]

Whoa.

Oh.

Whoa.

[laughs]

Oof!

Two out of three?

Yeah, everyone
laughed at me in '68

when I said I was going to
take home the gold for Zanzibar

in the winter games.

OK, so I was a little
optimistic back then.

But now, thanks to
the microchip bug,

my super athletes
are dominating.

At what cost?

You're putting innocent
lives at stake.

Everyone's a critic.

If you want to see your friends
again, you'll take Mira's place

and win the gold.

Me?

But I can't even skate.

I mean, I know I have the
grace of a figure skater.

But--

Haven't you been
listening to my athletes?

All you need is good coaching.

I'll feed you all the
information you need.

[gasps]

No thanks.

I'm really not very hungry.

Not a problem.

You'll need strength
and agility, as well.

[gasps]

COACH: My dogs are trained
to continue until they get

the command from me to stop.

And your point is?

If you don't win
the competition, this

is going to be a one-way trip.

You'll never see your
little friends again.

Mush!

[dogs bark]

[screaming]

Whoa.

Stop!

Halt!

Look, a fire hydrant.

Man, they really
are well trained.

Now, why can't the
coach use that talent

with the athletes instead of
those creepy bug thingies?

Hmm.

Alex, get the digit
decoder credit card.

It's in my pocket.

OK.

But I don't understand how you
can be thinking about shopping

at a time like this.

I'm not.

I'm trying to cut the rope.

Oh.

Whoa!

Whoa!

That'll work.

Hmm?

Did you say something?

[gasps]

Hang on!

[grunts]

Please, Alex, you
really are a good athlete.

But don't.

You'll crack the ice.

Are you saying I'm fat?

No.

Simple math.

We need to disperse our weight
so the ice doesn't crack again.

Oh, right.

Good thinking, Sam.

We have to hurry.

Clover's life depends on us.

And Mira's.

I just hope we find
an antidote in time

or some sort of bug zapper.

Wait a minute.

Clover said the bobsledder
sneezed his out.

We just have to
make them sneeze.

I'll get Mira.

You go to Clover.

You know, these boots
aren't so awful after all.

Zanzibar is up next
in the pair's figure

skating competition.

Maybe I shouldn't be
giving you three bugs.

You think?

Shouldn't I know
the routine by now?

[cheering]

No, seriously.

I don't know what to do.

Just give me a hint.

I mean, return, skate forward,
backward, flip, slap shot?

What?

Coach wouldn't
put you out here

if you didn't know what to do.

Ow.

Cramp.

Whoa.

Hello, my arms are connected.

I don't know how to--

whoa.

Hey, wow.

I do know how to do that.

[cheering]

Mira?

[groans]

What-- what is that?

Long story.

Are you feeling OK?
- Much better.

Who are you, really?

Longer story.

I'll tell you on the
way to the competition.

Wow.

What's going on?

[speaking non-english]

Whoa.

Stop skating so fast.

I can't.

I'm too good.

Where'd you learn
to fight like that?

We could use you
on our boxing team.

If you liked that one,
you're gonna love this.

No!

[applause]

Yeah.

That was sweet.

Huh?

Yeah.

This way, Clover.

Daffodils?

I-- I-- I--

I'm allergic to daffodils.

I know.

Didn't your mom ever
teach you that cheaters

only cheat themselves?

We should probably
explain to the judges.

No need.
Already taken care of.

Thank you so much
for helping me.

It's what we do.

It's so great that
Mira and her partner

won the gold, fair and square.

Yeah.

No tricks, the way it should be.

Good sports all the way.

Hi Clover, Sam, Alex.

- Hi, David.
- Hi, David.

Hi, David.

David, you can't keep
us waiting forever.

We need to know which
one of us you like.

What do you mean?
I like all of you.

No, no, no.
No.

Which of us do you,
you know, like like?

Oh.

We want you to pick one of us.

You don't just pick a girl
like a product off a shelf.

We don't mind.

Really, go ahead.

Tell them it's me.

Clover, Alex, Sam, please,
you're all really great.

I can't possibly
choose between you.

I'm sorry.

- Did you see that?
- Did you see that?

Did you see that?

He was looking right at me.

He was looking right at me.

He was looking right at me.

OK, this is crazy.

We said we weren't
going to do this.

Right.

Good sportsmanship
and all that.

And besides, he was
staring into my eyes.

- Argh!
- Huh?

Argh!

Yeah, right.

He was so checking me out.

SAM: You're both delusional.

It's me he wants.

[laughter]

[music playing]