02x10 - Mommies Dearest

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

THEME SONG: Here we go,
we're getting on the road

till we stop and
then we'll shop.

So one, two, three
now baby, here we go.

Here we go, here we go,
on a mission undercover

and we're in control.

Here we go, here we
go, we're totally spies

and get on with the show.

Here we go, here
we go, here we go.

[clanking]

What the--

[gasp]

[alarm sounding]

Ooh, how bout a
truly adorable new pair

of leather biker boots?

Are you kidding, Clover?

Your mom's way too
uptight to wear those.

Duh, I was talking
about for me.

Oh, well, in that
case, go for it.

Hello?

We're supposed to be shopping
for Mother's Day presents,

remember?

I'm trying.

It's just that my
mom's so old fashioned.

Finding a gift for her is,
like, totally impossible.

Tell me about it.

The only present my mom wants
is for me to find a boyfriend.

Girls, you're
blowing this holiday

completely out of proportion.

We are?

Of course, you've
got to stop putting

so much pressure on yourselves
and just pick something.

Huh?

Like that.

Full body
industrial rain gear?

Kind of an over
protective ensemble,

don't you think, Sammy?

Exactly why my
mom would love it.

Hey, who turned
out the lights?

[growling]
- Huh?

[giggling]

This flyer, check it out.

Treat your mom to a
weekend of pure luxury.

Bring her to the brand
new Channel Island Spa

for Mother's Day.

A luxury spa?

What a majorly fabulous idea.

Yeah, and we can
all go together.

Even my mom couldn't
object to luxury.

Let's do it, girls.
[beeping]

[screaming]

Right after we see
what Jerry wants.

Is it me or is this
whole WOOHPing experience

getting weirder and weirder.

I prefer to call it
thinking outside the box.

Whatever blows
your hair back, Jer.

Hum?

I mean, whatever
floats your boat.

Whew.

So what's the mission?

There is no mission.

I just wanted to inform you
that I'm going to England to be

with my mom for Mother's Day.

No way.

I mean, I so can't believe it.

Don't worry, Clover, it's only
for a few days, you'll be fine.

No, no, no no,
what I can't believe

is that someone like you
would even have a mother.

It's surreal.

[phone ringing]

- What's that?
- My wallet.

You didn't expect me to
use a compowder did you?

Hello?
JERRY'S MOTHER: Jerry?

Mom?

Where are you?

You should be on
the plane by now.

Yes.

I'm still at work, mother, I
will be leaving momentarily.

Well, hurry up
and don't forget

to bring me one of
those nice terry

cloth robes from your hotel.

Yes, mother, right away.

Your hotel?

In order to keep my secret
agent identity, well, secret,

I have told my mother
that I am a hotel manager.

[laughter]

Hello, welcome to
Jerry's Bed and Breakfast.

Yes.

Well, I'm glad you all
find me so amusing.

Goodbye, girls, I'll
see you in a few days.

Huh?
[beep]

[gasp]

[screaming]

OK, this day just keeps
getting stranger by the second.

I agree.

Let's get out of here.

Are you crazy?

We're alone in Jerry's office.

Can you say raid
the supply closet?

[giggling]

[gasp]

I got dibs on the
butterfly barrette b*mb.

The five karat data
processor pendent is all mine.

Mm, gum.

Hardly qualifies as a
gadget, but I'll take it.

[giggling]

ALL: Ta-da.

[gasp]

Oh my.

Oh, it's wonderful.

Thank you.

Well, what are we waiting for?

ALL: It's spa time!

[giggling]

Hurry up, the
mud's getting cold.

[shriek]

[gasp]

Mom, how long have
you had that thing?

Since the Great Depression?

Don't be silly, honey,
I bought this bathing suit

on my honeymoon in the 70s.

OK, that's it, after
we finish our mud baths,

we're going bikini shopping.

Very funny, dear.

Now, which way was
that locker room?

I need to wash my hands.

You're going to wash your
hands before your mud bath?

Ugh.

It's that way.

[sigh]

[shriek]

[sigh]

This massage is k*ller.

We should have spa
dates more often, mom.

Speaking of dates, do you
have any little boyfriends

I should know about, Alex?

Mommy, please, that's,
like, totally personal.

Being single is nothing
to be ashamed of, sweetie.

Now, you just
leave it to mother,

I'll find a nice male
companion for you.

Well how about this
gentleman right here?

He has such strong arms.

Hum?

Mom, I'm in high school,
I don't date gentleman.

I'm going to hit the showers.

I'll leave you
two alone to chat.

[growling]

[shriek]

Let's see, you'll need
a helmet with chin guard,

knee pads and elbow pads, and
some wrist and ankle shields.

[crash]

Mom, don't you think
this is a little extreme?

I mean, we're only going
for a short bike ride.

I'm only trying to
protect you, Sammy.

Now let me go fill
your water bottle.

Huh?

I wouldn't want you
to dehydrate out there.

Uh.

[gasp]

Ugh.

What the--

[gasp]

[screaming]

Mmm.

Hey!

Huh?

Hey!

This better work
or my name is mud.

[boom]

What are you trying to do, mom?

k*ll me?

Well, of course not,
dear, it was an accident.

[snoring]

Huh?

[screaming]

[honking]

Hum?

Hum.

Sorry, honey.

What?

[bird squawking]

Isn't that a
beautiful view, darling?

Yeah, it's really cool.

[screaming]

Whoa!

OK, I've had enough
biking for one day.

Oopsie, my bad.

Uh.

Houston, we have a problem.

This isn't Houston,
Sammy, it's Alex.

Are you feeling OK?

Hum.

I was until my
mother accidentally

pushed me off a cliff.

Your mom's acting freaky, too?

I thought I was the only one.

Stella accidentally tried
to drown me in a mud bath.

What about Carmen?

Is she behaving strangely, Alex?

Not really,
unless you count her

accidentally pushing my massage
table into heavy traffic.

I say we rendezvous
in the lobby, pronto.

Right.

[gasp]

ALL: Going somewhere?

[gasp]

[screaming]

Hey!

[grumbling]

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

You OK?

My mother just attacked me
for the second time today.

I hope you're joking.

We'd better call Jerry.

Maybe he knows why our moms
are behaving like assassins.

Sit up straight, young
man, and stop fidgeting.

[gulp]

Yes, mother.

I don't understand
you, Jenny, why are

you always acting so peculiar?

[phone ringing]

Saved by the bell.

What did you say?

Excuse me one moment.

Hello.

Sir, I have some
disturbing information.

Tim Scam broke out
of prison last night.

Oh.

I'll alert the girls right away.

[beeping]

Hum, I didn't even know this
wallet had call waiting.

Hello?
- Jerry it's us.

You're never going to
believe what's happening.

Jerry?

[knocking]

Jerry, what are
you doing in there?

Nothing, mother,
just conversing

with the hotel staff.

How many times do I
have to tell you people

only one mint per pillow?

Now don't bother me again.

Were you just talking
to your wallet, Jerry?

Of course not, mother,
don't be ridiculous.

I've got my eye on you.

Wow, looks like Jerry's
got some Mother's Day

issues of his own.

Obviously, he's not going
to be any help to us today.

But maybe this spa
surveillance system will be.

Let me see if I can patch
into the video mainframe.

I'm getting something.

[shriek]

[gasp]

Whoa, that was weird.

I have a feeling it's
about to get worse.

[shriek]

Mommy!

What is it that closet?

Wait a second,
our mothers weren't

wearing corsages before
they went into the closet.

OK, so what do tacky flowers
have to do with our mothers

losing it?

Maybe nothing but I want to
get a closer look to be sure.

[grunting]

Look at them, they're
acting like nothing happened.

My sweetheart Alex
just loves peanut

butter and jelly,
especially when I

trim the crusts off the bread.

Gabby, would you
be a dear and pass

the high density expl*sive
peanut butter compound?

Here you go, Carmen, this
should do them in nicely.

[gasp]

Just in case those naughty
girls put up a fuss.

So much for my mother
being overly protective.

Time to put the five karat data
processor pendant to the test.

[yawn]

What's it say, Sammy?

There seems to be some sort
of signal being transmitted

to the corsage and
I'll bet it has

something to do with the
way our mothers are acting.

Then we have to get those
corsages off their wrists.

Guess we'll have to track
the signal to its source

and stop it there.

The spa's selection of rental
cars is seriously lacking.

It's a good thing
I'm a yoga pro.

The signal's getting
stronger, we must be close.

Take a left here.

[crash]

[honking]

[screaming]

The only thing scarier
than Alex's driving

is her mother's driving.

Quick, hit the gas,
maybe we can outrun them.

If you have crash
helmets, this would be

the time to put them on, girls.

[screeching tires]

[crash]

[door squeaking]

Mommy?

Yes, dear.

Oh, thank goodness.

I just had a totally
creepy nightmare.

I dreamed that you and
Sam and Clover's moms

were trying to bump us off.

Don't worry, sweetheart,
all of your nightmares

will be over just as
soon as we eliminate you.

[gasp]

[grunting]

Before you get rid of
us, do you mind telling us

who's behind all this?

[sigh]

Allow me.

ALL: Tim Scam?

Didn't we throw you in jail
after you kidnapped Jerry

and tried to take over WOOHP.

Oh that's the thing about
prison, my dear, lots of time

to devise an escape
plan and lots of time

to dream up a suitable revenge.

[gasp]

Ew, your nasty breath
is revenge enough.

Let me get this straight,
your big revenge plan

was to have our mothers do
your dirty work for you?

That is so lame.

The mind control corsages were
a little something I invented

while working at WOOHP.

I knew you a little
goody goodies wouldn't

be able to resist my flyer.

That was you?

I can't believe they even let
riff raff like you in our mall.

Your mothers have done
a wonderful job for me.

In fact, I'm thinking
of keeping them.

My prison shrink said my
lack of parental guidance

is what led to my life of crime.

Please, like my mom would
even give you the time of day,

let alone motherly love.

Is that so?

Stella, throw your
daughter in the sauna,

then come home with
me and do my laundry.

Oh, anything for
my little Timmy.

Mom!

Don't do it.

Stop it.

Mom!

[laughter]

Have a nice sauna,
girls, it'll be your last.

But we're too young
to have our last sauna.

[sizzling]

We have got to get
out of this nightmare

and get our real mothers back.

[grunting]

[phone ringing]

Who could be calling
at a time like this?

I hope it's a locksmith.

Hello?

Hello, girls.

Jerry?

So sorry I hung
up on you earlier.

I wanted to let you know
that our former nemesis Tim

Scam has escaped from prison.

You should be on
high alert in case

he plans on paying you a visit.

That info's like
so three hours ago.

Jerry, are you on the roof?

Oh, that's it, I've had
enough of this nonsense.

It's obvious you need some
guidance in your life.

You leave me no choice but
to move into your hotel

where I can keep an eye on you.

Oh dear, I have
to run, ladies.

Wait, Jerry, we need help.

Thanks for nothing, Jer.

Now what?

[sigh]

[sizzling]

[panting]

If only we had a good gadget.

[gasp]

Alex, what are you doing?

It's already hard enough
to breathe in here.

It's not me, this WOOHP
gum has a mind of it's own.

[boom]

I think I like it
better when Jerry briefs

us on how to use our gadgets.

Come on, girls, let's
go burst Scam's bubble.

And why exactly
do you have your jet

pack backpack with you?

I wanted to pack lightly and
all my suitcases were too big.

This is about where we
lost the signal before.

Scam's hideout should be
around here somewhere.

[gasp]

What's that over there?

Let's check it out.

If I knew how much fun
it was to have a mother,

I'd have stolen one long ago.

Don't get too used to it, pal.

What are you girls
still doing alive?

Getting ready to kick
your butt back to jail.

Finish them off
once and for all.

So long, ladies.

Enjoy your quality bonding time.

Back off, mom, don't
make me hurt you.

You mean you would actually
hurt your own mother?

My own mother?

No.
You?

Yes.

Well, in that case.

[gasp]

[grunting]

[screaming]

[gasp]

[footsteps]

Huh?

What's the hurry, Scam?

Whoa!

Beat it, your
mommy's calling you.

I'll take that.

[grunting]

Let's try a different channel.

No, no, don't do that.

Timmy's been a bad boy.

Timmy needs to be punished.

Ah, no, no, no, get away.

That's very disrespectful.

Let's wash that rude
little mouth out with soap.

[grunting]

Should we show him some mercy?

I guess we have to,
for our mom's sake.

What happened?

Were are we?

Who is this guy?

Ow.

Um, he's our tour guide.

He was showing us some of
the caves on the island.

Oh, how nice.

[gasp]

What do you say we
get back to the spa?

Sounds good to me.

This slippery cave
floor makes me nervous.

Yeah, I can't believe
I left the spa wearing

this revealing bathing suit.

Hey, that tour guide
looked like a nice young man.

You two would make
a great couple.

Mom, you have no
idea how wrong you are.

[helicopters]

Another mission
well done, girls.

Thanks, Jerry.

So how did things work
out with your mother?

I laid down the law
and told her she had

to let me have my independence.

After all, it's
ridiculous for a grown man

to be taking orders
from his mommy.

[phone ringing]

So where'd you put her up?

The Beverly Plaza Inn.

I need a raise to
keep up the charade.

Hello?
- Jerry, where are you?

We have dinner plans.

I'll be there
momentarily, mother.

Way to lay down the law, Jer.

JERRY'S MOTHER: Well, hurry up.

We haven't got all night.

And bring some fresh
towels while you're at it.

[music playing]