03x01 - Physics 101 Much?

[bunniefuu]

[beeping noise]

[theme music]

[expl*si*n noise]

[music playing]

MISSION CONTROL: Ten, nine,
eight, seven, six, five,

four, three, two, one, zero.

Huh?

The computers
are malfunctioning.

ASTRONAUT: Help, [inaudible].

We're out of control.

I--

Wha?

I can't control it.

[acoustic guitar music]

ALL: One, two, three.

[gasp] Ah!

This is so rad.

I can't believe it's all ours.

How cool is it
that our parents

are letting us live together
while they're in Europe?

Mega cool.

And speaking of cool,
this neighborhood rocks.

Yeah, I bet we live
next to pop stars.

Or movie stars.

Or better yet,
fashion designers.

We are going to have
the best time ever.

[UNISON] Friends forever.

Uh, you've got to
scope out the beauty

parlor in the bathroom.

You got to see the
pool and jacuzzi.

SAM: [gasp] You have to
see this amazing view.

ALEX: Wow.

[gasp]

[UNISON] Dibs.
[laughter]

Awesome.

I said it first.

[screams]

Give it up, girls.

This room is exactly what I
need for my precious collection

of designer apparel.

This room practically
screams Clover.

Sorry, Clo, your
clothes won't fit when

my desk and library are set up.

Hello, I totally need the
space to practice my taekwondo.

Ah, yah, oo, uh, hiyah!

Hiyah nothing.

My clothes need a
home, and this is it.

But I'm the one who spends the
most time in my room studying.

Hmm.

[gasp] All right, enough.

We'll settle this
like civilized friends

and pick names from a hat.

Alex, you pick.

Clover.

Yes.

You guys can totally come visit
the room anytime you want.

Well, I guess fair is fa--

Hey, wait a minute.

Civilized friends, huh?

All the names in the
hat say, "Clover."

[gasp]

ALL: Ugh.

[screaming] Whoa.

You're not the only
one with clothes.

Yeah, Clover.

And you're not the only
one with homework, Sam.

I have clothes and
homework and taekwondo.

Hmm?

ALEX: Hiyah

While I appreciate
the importance

of this intellectually
stimulating debate,

strange activity occurring
at the International Space

Organization takes precedence.

Hmm.

Whoa.

Hey, Jer, welcome
to the 21st century.

ALEX: Yeah, awesome redo.

Your office looks
really cool now.

Glad you like it.

Yeah.

Now if we could only get him
to wear clothes that match.

If you're quite
finished, aside

from your upgraded 7.09X powder
jet pack and bungee belt.

ALEX: Heh.

CLOVER: Uh.

G.L.A.D.I.S.: Release
me immediately.

Who said that?

What, not who.

Gadget Lending and Distribution
Interactive System,

also known as G.L.A.D.I.S.

G.L.A.D.I.S.?

Oh, yes, my
computerized assistant.

I created it myself.

Hm Hm.

G.L.A.D.I.S.: So he believes.

What do you need
an assistant for?

We do all the work.

I assure you I am
quite busy all day long.

This is way cool, Jerry.

Thank--

G.L.A.D.I.S.: Thank you.

Huh?

A word of caution.

G.L.A.D.I.S. Seems to be
developing a mind of her own.

Machines don't
have minds, Jerry.

They're incapable of
thought, feelings, or-- uh--

JERRY: Huh.

--aggression.

Moving right along,
on this mission, Alex,

you'll have the
scanner biolab watch.

Huh?

[laughter] It tickles.

Huh?

JERRY: Sam, you'll be
assigned the wind tunnel 9000

laser tornado blast hair dryer.

Clover, you'll have the
sonic disintegrator boom box.

Uh, Jer, your G.L.A.D.I.S.
seems to be a bit buggy.

Hmm?

I said, the sonic disintegrator
boom box, G.L.A.D.I.S.

G.L.A.D.I.S.: Negative.

Don't negative me.

I wired you.

I can unwire you.

G.L.A.D.I.S.: Double negative.

I hardwired myself
into the mainframe.

Wow, she, I mean it, does
have a mind of its own.

G.L.A.D.I.S. knows best.

You'll also have a super
range, biodegradable spit ball

tracker.

[gasp]

Your saliva activates
the tracking mechanism,

but it only lasts an hour, so
you have to be quick about it.

And it has a bit
of an aftertaste.

And I don't want to hear
any ifs, ands, or buts.

Finally, I trust you'll
appreciate the newest plug-in.

Uh, no way.

Way.

[UNISON] Ah!

Wow.

Awesome.

[gasp]

[laughter] Ah.

Cool.

Now.

Ah!

[screaming]

Huh?

Whoa!

OK, I just got
here and I already,

uh, totally hate this mission.

[screaming]

Whatever this
weird forcefield is,

it's throwing
everything out of whack.

Roger that.

My controls are fried.

Ah!

Reverse thrusters.

Ah!

Waah.

Hang on, Alex.

Grr.

Uh.

Oh.

OK, that didn't work.

Guess I need to kick
into turbocharge

to pull the shuttle free.

Hit it.

Whoa!

Ah!

Help!

Ah!

Ah, uh.

[siren sound]

ALL: [scream]

We went through all of
that, and the force field was

just about to disappear anyway?

Not so fast.

[birds chirping]

Ah, thank you, girls.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, that was--
- Huh?

--that was amazing.

Thanks very much.

SAM: Huh?

CLOVER: Mm.

[grunt]

Someone stole our
self-launchable satellite.

[UNISON] Huh?

I think we just fell for
the old distraction trick.

And with no sign
of any clues either.

I guess we wait for Jerry's
analysis of the substance

we collected.

[tires skidding]

Scissors, paper, rock.

You'll just cheat again.

How can you cheat at
scissors-paper-rock?

You'll find a way.

Uh, well, then
what do you suggest?

I suggest we focus
on the mission.

How can you think
of the mission

during a time of
major personal crisis?

MAIZIE: Aha, don't you
need a special license

to wear clothes that ugly?

Hold that lame comeback.

Something just came up.

Ah!

ALL: Wah!

Now, what were
you about to-- huh?

Jerry!

I trust you weren't in the
middle of anything urgent.

Only the most important
decision of our lives.

Good, then it can wait.

That sample you provided
is an anti-gravity formula

the International
Space Organization was

working on back in the '80s.

You whooped us
just to tell us that?

X-powder, hello, Jer.

We're just the press
of a button away.

Wait a minute,
I read about that.

The research ended when the
astronaut running the program

never returned from a mission.
- Precisely.

And no one else could
decipher his exact formula.

Uh, X-powder still
a viable option.

Can I get the formula?
I'd like to work on it.

G.L.A.D.I.S.: Red alert
in sector four, Jerry.

There's another theft in
progress in a laboratory

that makes guidance systems.

ALEX: But look, all these
codes, they're laser points.

Whoever it is
hasn't even tripped

the motion detection alarm.

How is that possible?

Let me know when you find out.

Wait, we still need to know
who should get the bigger room.

Well, that's simple.

CLOVER: Who?

Whooo?

[birds chirping]

ALEX: [grunt]

Sort of makes a sneak
attack impossible.

One false move and our
presence is revealed.

So how'd the thief get past?

is not the time
for grooming, Clover.

OK, first of
all, there's never

a bad time for proper grooming.

And second, we'll just use the
mirror to deflect the beams

away and clear a path.

That's a great idea.

[laser buzzing]

OK, bad idea.

I can't believe
my mirror failed me.

Stand back.

I have an idea.

Heeyah!

Oo, wha, ah, heeyah.

Ooh, uh, ah, yah.

I was thinking maybe we
could do something like that.

[UNISON] [gasp]
Huh, ah, uh, ah, uh.

Huh?

Total launchpad deja vu.

What?

Uh.

CLOVER: That's probably how
the thief got past the beams.

He floated.

Huh, he's not floating now.

Grr.

Not so fast, gravity boy.

[grunt]

Whoa.

Oh.

Bleh.

Ah.

Ah.

Uh.

Go, go, go.

Yes.

Come on, come on.

I think I have the
formula deciphered.

I might be able to
reverse the polarity.

[gasp]

Alex, behind you.

[gasp]

Uh, gotcha.

No, it's got us.

I'm too young to be
diced like a tomato.

I knew I should have
stuck with the swim team.

OK, getting an unwanted
haircut right now.

[grunting]

OK Sammy, how's that reversed
polar bear thingy coming?

Polarity.

And let's just say I'm
open to a backup plan.

Hmm, slingshot?

Ah.

Uh.

Ah.

[UNISON] One, two three.

Whoa!

Ah!

If I knew I was going
to be black to blue,

I would have
accessorized differently.

Too bad we lost him.

We didn't.

I hit him with the spitball.

[gasp] He's here.

He's right next to us.

Oh, yeah, I also
swallowed one.

SAM: You're interfering
with the signal.

I can't track two at a time.

What do you want me to do?

Try eating a bran muffin.

Hey, Jerry was right.

It doesn't last long.

Perfect.

Now we can concentrate on--

ugh.

So he's over there somewhere.

We'll find him.

How hard could it be?

Trigonometry hard.

Pass up a shoe sale hard.

Why would someone want to
bring a satellite and guidance

system way out here anyway?

CLOVER: It must be
majorly important

like better phone reception
or more cable channels.

[UNISON] Woah.

Oh.

SAM: Somehow, Clover,
I think he's more

than a disgruntled consumer.

ALEX: Hey, look.

That could something.

CLOVER: Woah.

Yeah, sweet digs.

Ah, great.

You and Sam can
stay here, and I'll

take the big bedroom back home.

[laughter]

Huh?

Uh, nice hair.

No wonder he's
hiding underground.

Nah nah, nah nah,
blah blah, astronaut

Major Snell who was head of
the anti-gravity program and--

MAJOR SNELL: Disappeared
during a mission,

never to be seen again.

Blah, blah, blah.

[suspenseful music playing]

Wah!

Oo!

Huh!

Hiyah!

Ah.

Uh oh.

Wah.

- Ah.
- Oh.

Uh.

Ay.

Huh.

CLOVER: Ah.

MAJOR SNELL: Ay.

Woah.

Ah.

Woah.

[laughter]

Uh.

Huh?

Haha!

Ah!

Oopsy.

Almost got carried away.

Literally.

MAJOR SNELL: You can't stop me.

Soon the world will know
what I went through when

they abandoned me in space.

But you're back now.

Everything's OK.

The only thing
that kept me going

was the thought of revenge.

Give it up, major freak.

It's three against
one, and let's face it.

Haha!

[SPIES IN UNISON]

[screams]

Good one, Clover.

Taunt the guy with the
anti-gravity device.

MAJOR SNELL: Haha!

Think about what you're doing.

I am.

I was alone for 20
years, 20 years floating.

All right, we get it.

Floating, helpless--
jeez, get a new act.

It's just that sort of
attitude that made me this way.

I don't suppose you
offer frequent flyer miles.

You won't need them because
you're not coming back.

This self-launching
satellite will

send my anti-gravity machine
into orbit around the Earth

and blast the entire
population with anti-gravity.

[laughter] Happy floating!

[maniacal laughter]

[expl*si*n]

[suspenseful music]

I can't reach.

[screaming]

BOTH: Sam!

How are we going to
stop the satellite?

SAM: There's got to be some
sort of computer on this thing.

He had to program a
destination, right?

We just have to re-program it.

Right.

You guys get that
major pain in the butt.

I've got this covered.

Without gravity, my hair
will never look good again,

and that's unacceptable.

[suspenseful music]

[gasp]

[screaming]

Hmm, I don't know
about this G.L.A.D.I.S.

G.L.A.D.I.S.: It look fabulous.

Huh?

Oh.

[screaming]

What's going on?

What's going on?

What is going on?

[suspenseful music]

[UNISON] Oh.

ALEX: Get him.

SAM: Come on.

Yahee.

[screaming]

CLOVER: Uh.

Oh.

Eh.

Woah.

Uh.

[gasp] No!

Bring it on, space cadet.

I've had some practice myself.

I've been expecting you.

Mm.

Oh.

Wah!

Woah.

Uh.

Woohoo!

Anti-gravity rocks.

Hah!
Uh.

- [laughter]
- All right.

All right.

What good is revenge
if people enjoy it?

Have a little taste
of defeat, major loser.

[laughter] Adios, amigos.

SAM: Ah, one space trip a day
is enough for me, thank you.

[UNISON] Woah.

[crash sound]

Aha, physics 101, gravity.

I can't wait to tell
know-it-all G.L.A.D.I.S.

we didn't need the laser
nail file after all.

- Ow.
- Huh?

I broke a nail.

Aww.

Are you sure?

You deserve it.

After saving the
world and our lives,

it's the least we can give you.

[UNISON] [laughter]
Friends forever.

OK, got to unpack.

Score.

The best bedroom in all of
Beverly Hills, and no one

deserves it more than I do.

I wonder if the view
is just as great.

Ah!

Ah!

Maizie!

Clover!

Oh, guys, guys,
really, it's not

fair that I get the best room.

Really, who wants to trade?

Guy?

Guys?

OK, it's like the ultimate,
coolest thing in the world

that our parents are letting
us live together while they're

on vacation and all, but it,
it's just, well, you know,

Clover and Alex are
like my total best

friends in the whole universe.

And I mean, what if we
don't get along as roomies?

What if Alex leaves
the empty milk carton

in the fridge or Clover
totally uses all the fabric

softener in one load?

Well, what--

ALEX: Who left their
wet towel on the floor?

Oopsy.

I gotta go.