03x19 - Feng Shui Is Like So Passe

[bunniefuu]

[theme music]

Ah!

Haha!

The wave!

Totally!

Dude, that is the the
gnarliest [inaudible]

we've gotten all day.

Let us book back to shore.

Not sweet, totally sour!

The shore's like slipping away!

BOTH: Ahh!

SAM: What's up with the line?

Ooh, maybe it's a casting call
for a cool new teen talent TV

show.

This could be my lucky break!

Something tells me
that whatever it is--

Next!

BOTH: Clover is behind it.

Just so you understand,
I'm looking for someone who

understands my needs,
without understanding what

those needs are, understood?

I-- I think so.

You think?

Sorry, not looking for
thinkers, looking for doers.

Next!

You guys want to apply to
be my personal assistant?

Since when do you need
a personal assistant?

Someone has to array
my disarrayed schedule

of school work, shopping,
and hottie sharking.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've
got a lineup of freshman girls

to interview.

Next!

Ugh!

Your search is over.
I'm--

Way Way too pushy!

Next!

Now, Tara, is it?

Here's the 4-1-1, the job
pays approximately-- nothing.

But you will earn
priceless life experience

and valuable fashion tips.

That sounds great.

But I'm sure you don't
want someone shy like me.

After all, you are the
prettiest and most popular

girl in school.

Hired!

In ancient Greek
civilization, sl*ves

tended to their masters, not
only as domestic servants,

but as agricultural
workers, mine workers,

as it were, et
cetera, et cetera.

Note takers.

Hmm, not bad.

But next time, please
dot my Is with a heart.

Mm-hmm.

I love that hoodie.

And that belly shirt
is the cutest ever!

And could those
cargos be any cooler?

Time to try them on.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Ugh.

OK, ew.

Ugh.

Ohh!

[giggles] Whoa, I didn't
tell Tara to do that.

Wow, what's wrong, Clover?

Has your go getter
gotten up and left?

No.

I'm just going over the
stuff Tara wrote in my diary.

She's writing your diary?

Could you be any lazier?

Hold that thought.

Uh, memo to Tara, if
this working out for me

is going to work out
for me, I'm going

to need to see some sweat.
Thanks, hon.

Anything you say, Clover.

Don't you think you're taking
advantage of that poor girl?

Tara's loving her new gig.

She's been looking for
a mentor just like me.

Was that mentor or tormentor?

Speaking of tormenting,
get ready to land on your--

Pillow?

ALL: Ahh, uh.

A cushioned whooping?

New age music, dim
lighting, and incense,

OK Jerry, what is up?

What's up?

My energy lines,
which have enabled

the flow of my inner Chi,
all thanks to Feng Shui.

ALL: Huh?

Feng who?

Feng shui.

It's a means of
arranging an environment

to enhance well-being.

Come on, Jer, FS is so 2002.

Correction, 3002,
which is how long

Feng Shui has been practiced.

Girls, meet my Feng
Shui guru, Yin Yang.

ALL: Uh?

Your skepticism
is understandable.

Even Jerry was
doubtful at first.

Then I showed him how to achieve
balance, in both his life

and the WOOHP work environment.

OK, silk bathrobes
and ponytails for men?

According to Feng Shui,
everything is alive,

people, buildings, that
desk, even your clothes.

Ahh!

My skirt's alive?

Yin Yang means
everything around us

has a life force energy.

Now this is why I've changed
myself and my office,

to keep this energy
fresh and alive.

Haha.

Of course, the most important
thing that needs changing

is the world.

Um, Jerry, before
we change the world,

don't you have a save the
world type mission for us?

For now, your
mission is to mellow

out, just like GLADIS has.

Inner child-like
expendable teddy

bear, life force
magnet necklace, and

a holistic healing bracelet.

Use them with love.

You call those weapons?

No, I call them instruments
of life preservation.

ALL: [gasp]

Um, speaking of
life preservation,

I think there might be a
major earthquake somewhere.

Your seismograph's
out of control!

Merely a part of the Earth's
natural harmony, right Jerry?

Right.

Now girls, go and Illuminate
your path to self-discovery.

ALL: Ugh.

This new shiny, happy
Jer is totally creepy.

Yeah, and that
seismic situation

needs some investigating.

Let's roll.

Alex, this is so not
the time for dirty looks.

Hello!

Flying!

I'm sorry, it's just
that I'm so used to seeing

Tara doing your dirty work.

She's got dirtier
work, my laundry.

Guys, focus.

The X Powder's tracked
the seismic center

off the coast of New Zealand
where land meets water.

OK, that's freaky.

Whoever's guarding the coast
is not doing their job.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about
the coastline.

It's supposed to be like,
right here, but it's so not.

Whoa!

[gasp] That's
'cause it's floating

in the middle of the ocean.

OK, That's not cool.

We better call Jerry.

Feng Shui seminar in session.

Peace be with you.

Looks like we're on our own.

ALL: Uh!

Wait!

Shouldn't we change
into something

more undercover safari chic?

Cool!

[rumbling]

Please tell me that's
somebody's stomach.

ALL: Ahh!

ALL: [scream]

CLOVER: Hang on!

ALEX: You think?

[gasp] Clover!

Ahh!

Oh, nice grab, Clover!

Almost there.

If only this earth will hold--

Whoa!

Help!

This human chain
is going to break.

I need something sturdier!

How about that
metal cable thingy?

Metal cable thingy?

How'd that get there?

Who cares?

Just grab it!

OK, but how are we
going to reach the cable?

The- the life force
magnet necklace!

Maybe it'll attract
the metal but-- but I

kind of need my other hand.

So do we!

We

We don't have a choice.

Clover, give it a shot.

Alex, jump!

Magnetism rules.

Jump back on, guys.

Are you sure it's
going to hold us?

Kinda.

Good enough.

ALL: Whoa!

That earth crumbling
thing is so going

to hurt tourism around here.

Of course they do have cable TV.

Whoa!

[screaming]

BOTH: Clover!

An uninhabited island
with underground cables?

Somebody put it
there for a reason.

But who?

And why?

No time to wait for
the mystery cable guy!

ALL: Ahh!

On a Richter scale of 1 to


Uh, what island?

ALL: [scream]

CLOVER: [sigh] can't believe
we flew all around the world

and all we brought back
was this piece of cable.

Maybe it's more than that.

I'll try and trace the
origins with the X Powder.

[sigh] Works for me.

All I want to do is
crash on the couch.

Ahh!

OK, who moved our couch?

ALL: Huh?

SAM: I'm thinking
it's the same person

who moved all our other stuff.

Tara.

Oh, hello, Clover,
Clover's friends.

Clover's friends are about
to be your worst enemy.

What did you do with
all of our furniture?

I didn't do anything in here.

But I did reorganize your
entire closet by size, color,

and seasonal appropriateness.

Uh, wait a sec,
is that my sundress?

Don't be silly.

Why would I wear your dress
when I could wear my own?

I bought all the same
outfits you have,

and makeup, and
hair products, and--

Enough ands!

OK, I just got one last
thing to take care of.

Ugh, Clover, your
personal assistant

is getting way too personal.

It's super creepy.

Almost as super creepy is
someone moving our furniture.

I'm calling Jerry.

Hello, are we celebrating the
rebirth of our personal space?

SAM: What?

Yin Yang and I decided to
harmonize your living area.

Uh, Jer, are you OK?

I'm great.

I'm at one with the earth.

Yeah, about the
earth, we checked out

that weird seismic activity--

Sorry, but I'm due to
have my chakras aligned.

Forget his chakras.

How about aligning his brain!

It's the cable analysis.

Says here it's made
of interwoven steel

with a high content
of soy extract?

How weird is that?

[gasp] Not as weird as that!

Gah!

You like my hair?

Ugh.

You mean my hair.

Uh, look Tara, why don't
you take the rest of the day

off, OK?

Cool.

See ya.

And so wanna be ya!

I wanted someone to
help me, not be me.

What am I going to do?

We're going to go back
to the South Pacific.

Turns out there's been
a mega large shipment

of that metal cable material
sent to an uncharted island.

No sign of an
uncharted island yet.

Keep your eyes open.

We should be getting close.

Look out!

ALL: [scream]

I think we found it.

The ground seems stable here.

In fact, this place
is really peaceful.

Peaceful, but not natural.

Kind of like that tropical
island restaurant in the mall.

ALL: Huh?

Huh?

Uh.

Huh!

Love the robe look.

It says, I'm relaxed and casual.

I'm free to-- Run!

ALL: [cough]

Ew, I reek like lavender.

Maybe your stench
will stop them.

No time to find out.
Let's go.

Ugh!

Uh!

Easy for you to say.

I'm stuck!

SAM: We all are.

I think it's quicksand!

CLOVER AND ALEX: Duh!

ALL: Ugh!

Uh!

[scream] Oh.

We

Where are we?

You are at my my Feng Shui
island retreat headquarters.

[gasp] Yin Yang!

Please tell me this
is some freaky Feng

Shui not-so-practical joke.

Bringing about world
peace is no joke.

How is making the blood
rush to our heads going

to bring about world peace?

Without your
interference, I have

complete the installation
of cables in land masses

all over the world.

Hehe.

Think of it as a continental
shift in consciousness.

That's why you
became Jerry's guru?

Yes.

By controlling Jerry's mind,
the WOOHP organization,

present company
included, nothing

will stop my new world design.

Hahaha.

But rearranging the continents
will destroy the planet!

You worry too much.

A soak in a pool
of my mellowing tea

will remove your fears of
my new natural world order.

I got to admit, for
an evil world wrecker,

Yin Tang is pretty nice.

Uh.

CLOVER: Ew!

ALL: [scream]

Yeah, nice enough to
drop us into boiling water.

Hahaha.

This Feng Shui
stuff is so not fun.

My inner Chi is about to be
scalded by steaming chai!

And those new
weapons happy-go-GLADIS

gave us aren't going to help.

Farewell, useless bear.

Whoa!

More like useful,
expendable bear.

ALL: Yeah!

We're saved.

Tea time is so over.

We've got to find
Yin Yang before he has

his Feng Shui with the world.

CLOVER: Whoa!

If that's nature, I'll keep my
distance, thank you very much.

ALL: [scream]

Hurry!

Let's see how my world
wide humanitarian efforts

are fairing.

Haha haha.

Seeing the earth
move really moves me.

Huh?

They're still floating around!

Well, it's time to
drown their sorrows.

ALL: [scream] Whoa!

Hahaha.

Huh!

Hiyah!

ALL: [scream]

OK, I didn't see that coming

Neither did Yin Yang.

How did he do that?

My superior level
of consciousness

has given me a third eye.

A camera eye.

This camera feeds a signal into
my specially designed contact

lens, allowing me to see all.

Three against one?

We can beat him with
our eyes closed.

Or, his eyes closed.

Eeyah!

Uh!

Hah!

[gasp] Ahh!

Huh?

[gasp]

My eye see all.

Hahaha.

Hehehe.

Huh?

Oh, no.

More nature.

ALL: [scream]

We've got to get
him out of there.

Ahh!

Uh-oh.

I didn't see that coming.

First I let you into
WOOHP headquarters,

and then you hypnotize
me with that third eye.

Oof.

Uh?

How could I be
so irresponsible?

Ahh, It's nice to have
the old uptight Jerry back.

Nice job, spies.

You'll be happy
to know that WOOHP

agents are returning
the landmasses

to their rightful place.

Oh well.

There goes that walk to
Paris for a quick shop.

So is today the day
your personal assistant

gets the boot?

I think I'm going to
take Tara under my wing

and teach her that
the key to popularity

is to be your own person.

Speaking of popularity,
Who's in middle

of that mass of people?

So I'm all like, totally,
and she's all like, whatever.

Hahaha.

You're the coolest, Tara!

Of course she's the coolest.

She's me!

Next thing you know,
she'll be hiring

her own personal assistant.

Sorry people, I've
got personal assistants

to interview.

No you don't.

If you want to stay on
top, I am the only VIP

cool enough to be your PA.

Anybody wants to talk to
Tara talks to me first!

Line up!

Aw, Clover, nobody can ever
be a better Clover than you.

Yeah.

You'll always be
the coolest BF ever.

Thanks guys.

Besides, with Mandy helping her,
Tara's 15 minutes of popularity

is so over.

Hahah.

[crying]

Yin Yang might
be a master wacko,

but Feng Shui is totally
good for absolute calm.

And hello, when
your gig is being

an international super spy,
a little bit of relaxation

can go a long way.

Hey, I can hear you
in my closet, Alex.

Hands off the new platforms!

ALEX: I was just looking!

Total relaxation.

[toilet flush]