03x24 - Evil Promotion Much? – Parts 1

[bunniefuu]

[beeping]

[theme music]

[expl*si*n]

[beeping]

[expl*si*n]

Slow much?

[gasp]

Seriously, dude, you
put the "t*rd" in "t*rd."

OK, girls, the quicker we do
this, the quicker we go home.

[whimpering]

Going somewhere?

[ding]
[gasp]

Uh, you know?

Sorry, this car's full.

[gasp]

[expl*si*n]

[gasp]

I mean, give it up already.

By the way, didn't
anyone tell you

that brown is the new black?

I'll never give up!

[tires screeching]

OK, time's up.

You've had your fun.

Now it's time to come with us.

Could these missions
get any easier?

[spit]
- Yeck!

Eww!

Why does the OJ taste
like sweaty gym socks?

[spit]
- Eww!

Nast!

What's up with my toothpaste?

[grumble]

What happened to the juice?

I need my OJ in the morning.

Hey, don't look at me.

Someone broke in and
switched my mint toothpaste

with this gross orange goo.

[crunch]
- No one broke in.

I replaced everything in the
house with carrot-based items.

BOTH: Come again?

I'm on the new rabbit diet.

Rabbit diet?

Does this mean you're gonna
eat nothing but carrots?

Uh, correction--
she's gonna make

us eat nothing but carrots.

It's all the rage
north of Sunset.

Did you know one carrot
gives you enough energy

to walk a whole mile?

Trust me, girls.

Carrots are the in-veggie.

Everyone who's
anyone's eating them.

Forget it, Alex.

Unless it's diamonds,
I don't do carrots.

But carrots are amazing.

They improve your sight,
increase your jumping ability,

they even cure dandruff.

OK, let me be the
first to say, eww.

Carrots are fine,
Al, but a total carrot

regimen is taking
things a little too far,

don't you think?

[blowing]

[squeal]

Check it out.

I'm not even cold.

[squeal]

Did I mention that carrots
contain a natural antifreeze?

Yes, Mother, I'll pick
you up at the airport.

No, Mother, bring your own
pillow cases isn't necessary.

Yes, Mother, I'm certain
I can pick you up.

No, Mother, it's no bother.

Goodbye, Mother.

Rude, much.

I mean, hello?

F-- freezing here.

Sorry, girls.

With my mother coming
to visit next week,

everything's been rather
topsy turvy around here,

including the air
conditioning system.

[shivering]

Didn't bother me.

Phew.

Much better.

So what's the 411
on the early AM 911?

I called you here because
I have some fantastic news.

You've all been promoted.

Promoted?

Why?

What's the catch?

No catch.

You three shall officially leave
your junior spy days behind

and join the ranks of WOOHP's
most elite secret agents,

which means more danger,
more responsibility,

and more missions.

Isn't that exciting?

Ugh, exactly what part
of "more danger, more

responsibility,
and more missions"

are we supposed to
be psyched about?

I understand your concern,
but I assure you this

is a wonderful opportunity.

Very few agents ever
get to this level.

I think Jer's right.

It does sound exciting.

No.

It sounds like
we'll be sweating.

A lot.

But thanks to my
new rabbit diet,

I'm in peak physical condition.

Um--

Ugh, don't get
her started, Jer.

Trust me.

Did you know carrots are
jam-packed with vitamin

A and beta carotene goodness?

Guess I must have skipped that
chapter in my rabbit diet book.

[beep]

Oh!

Half a carrot.

Your carrotonic levels
are dangerously low, Jer.

There, that should help.

I think it's
time for you to go.

Good luck.

[scream]

[splash]

Whoa.

Love the Greek chic.

Oh, it's like being
on a reality show,

only it's not fake.

[gasp]

An infinity pool.

A hot tub.

Oh, I could definitely
get used to this.

Good morning, ladies.

My name is Terrance.

I'll be your host
during your stay.

Nice to meet you, Terrance.

May I escort you to
your private rooms?

Finally, I'm getting the
perks I so richly deserve.

Just hope I bought
enough carrots.

[gasping]

- Wow.
- Pick a door, any door.

Each leads to your own
private suite of rooms.

Wait, there are four
rooms, but only three of us.

Hey.

Girls, I'd like to introduce
you to your fellow agent Dean.

[swoon]

He'll be joining you in
your training sessions.

Allow me, Ter.

My name is Clover, but
you can call me smitten.

[giggle]

Ladies.

Oh, this place is
too good to be true.

Ah, who knew we'd be mixing
business with pleasure.

It's about to get better.

[gasp]

Oh.

[cheering]

We've been invited to dinner?

Not just dinner,
a black tie gala.

Wait.

I can't go.

I don't have anything
formal to wear.

[clears throat]

[gasp]

Awesome!

Help yourself to
whatever you need.

Extension 3 is for the tailor.

[squeal]

That settles it.

I am never leaving.

Be downstairs
at 8:00 PM sharp.

And don't be late.

Your instructors
will be waiting.

We'll be there,
with couture on.

Personally, I can't wait to
start our super spy training.

I don't understand.

I thought we were here
to meet our instructors.

You are.

Please, have a seat.

What's with the trays?

I bet it's some
delicious gourmet meal

with a name I can't pronounce.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Let's open them and find out.

[gasp] Ooh.

You're giving us jewelry?

Is it me, or does
this night just

keep getting better and better?

Spies, meet your instructions.

Huh?

Go on, open them.

Oh.

Welcome.

Hello.

Greetings.

Pleasure to meet you.

Throughout your
training, they will

be your guides and mentors.

Your lockets summon
them when needed.

Oh, I get it.

The lockets project who
we really are inside.

I think you're
spot on, Clover.

Hey!

What's that supposed to mean?

[clears throat]

Now that you've
met your instructors,

training will begin immediately.

But what about the gourmet
dinner I can't pronounce

and my designer outfit?

Center yourself.

Forget your hunger.

Right now, you've
got work to do.

[scream]

[thud]

This is the top secret
WOOHP training facility?

I was expecting
something a little more--

[whirring]

High tech.

Cool.

Welcome to training.

You four are here because
you're the chosen ones.

Chosen ones?

[laughing]

Sorry.

We thought you were kidding.

This is no joke, and you
becoming spies was no accident.

Whoa.

Is that really me?

We've been watching
you since birth.

[squeal]

[giggle]

Oh, Sammy, you're so cute.

Your affinity for gadgets
and ability to problem solve

were apparent from
a very early age.

Oh.

[panting]

[giggling]

Even back then,
I was boy-crazy.

More importantly,
your spying abilities

and observational skills were
light years ahead of your time.

Speaking of
observation skills,

how did WOOHP spy on me?

Oh, camotastic.

Talk about being light years
ahead of your time, style-wise.

Hey.

Woo hoo!

[cheering]

Nice run, boy.

You're as quick as a jackrabbit.

I can't believe I was
rabbitesque even back then.

Your athletic prowess and
ability to disguise yourself

didn't go unnoticed.

What about Dean?

Dean was the most
advanced of all.

He was chosen the
day he was born.

[babbling]

[grunting]

Huh?

Dean's intelligence
and natural fighting

skills were clearly exemplary.

A martial arts
hottie even as a baby?

I think I'm in love.

Move over.
I saw him first.

No, you didn't.

We all saw him at the same time.

Ladies, please.

There's enough
Dean to go around.

[whistle]

Yes, ladies, please.

It's time to focus.

Run Super Spy Sim 1.

Let the virtual
training begin.

[gasp]

This is like my
worst third grade

gymnastics nightmare come true.

Don't worry, Clover.

We're the chosen ones.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Your first mission--

make it across the
ravine without falling.

Duh, thanks.

I think we got that.

So who wants to go first?

With rabbit power on
my side, I should be

able to hop across, no probs.

As soon as you say "no
probs," there's always probs.

I'm really getting
the hang of this.

Piece of cake.

The secret is not to--

[gasp] --look down.

Oh!

Whoa!

Gotcha.

[grunting]

How are we supposed
to make it across?

Super spy rule number one--

evaluate your fear
factor and manipulate it.

Wait, I've got it.

You've got what?

This is a mind
over matter exercise.

All we have to do
is close our eyes

and imagine that the
ravine isn't so steep.

Hm?

Way to control your
mind, super spies.

Where are we?

And why are we
wearing blindfolds?

Maybe it's something fun,
like a game of pin the tail

on the donkey or a pinata.

Doubt it.

In fact, I have a sinking
suspicion that whatever it is,

it's not good.

What are we
supposed to do here?

You know, other than
get our butts kicked.

Super spy rule number two--

you must have faith
in your intuition.

My intuition is saying--

Hiya!

Duck!

Whoa!

Hey, that's it.

We don't need sight,
just our spy instincts.

Good thinking, Alex.

[grunt]

[whack]

[shout]

Talk about an unfair
sight advantage.

If I wasn't wearing
this stupid blindfold,

I'd be unstoppable with
my new rabbit vision.

Clover, on your right.

[thud]

Ah!

A little too close for comfort.

Nice job.

[gasping]

Your final mission--

get across the river
to the other side.

If you had all gone on
the rabbit diet with me,

we could've just jumped across.

You must use
the boat provided,

plus, there are a few catches.

Ugh, naturally.

One, Dean must
always be in the boat.

Two, there's only room for Dean
and one other spy in the boat.

Three, Clover and Alex can't
be left alone together.

Four, Sam and Alex can't
be left alone together.

Understand?

Yeah, I understand those
are the most confusing

rules I've ever heard.

You've got three minutes.

OK, what if I take
Clover across, then

return for Alex, then take Sam?

But Alex and I will
be alone together

while you take Clover across.

And I'll be alone with Clover
while you go back for Sam.

I've got it.

First, Dean will
take Alex across.

Then he'll go back
and pick me up.

He'll leave me on
the other side,

but take Alex back with him.

Then he'll leave Alex there
while taking Sam across.

Finally, he'll return for Alex.

It's a simple teamwork exercise.

Clover, that was amazing.

All those years
spent figuring out

how to pay for designer
clothes on layaway

were bound to pay
off eventually.

Come on, spies, let's do it.

Oh.

[panting]

You've reached the end
of your training day.

Congratulations.

[yawn]

I can't remember the last time
I was this tired, or this sore.

Guess it comes with
being the chosen ones.

Well, this chosen one
had better get some room

service on the double.

I hear the carrot
cake's delic--

[rumbling]

[shouting]

What now?

Earthquake.

Head for cover.

[crashing]

Terrance, are you there?

Speaking as an LA
native, this is the longest

earthquake I've ever felt.

We'd better check it out.

What could be making
the house shake like this?

[rumbling stops]

Oh, that's better.

At least now, I can think.

[crash]

[scream]

I don't think I like
the sound of that.

[cracking]

[gasp]

The walls are
closing in on us.

Don't panic.

Maybe this is still
part of our training.

The instructors
aren't responding.

Let's try the doors and windows.

[slamming]

Everything's locked.

We're trapped.

Worse than that, we're
about to be crushed.

Let's try wedging that
curtain rod between the walls.

[grunting]

Oh!

You guys OK?

I never was any
good at redecorating.

Let's do this.

On the count of 3--



[creaking]

Phew.

That was close.

[gasp]

[snap]

[shout]

Remember, spies, evaluate your
fear factor and manipulate it.

Look, a skylight.

Maybe we can use it to escape.

It's over 30 feet up.

I never thought the
day would come when

I'd wish for Jerry's
Turbo 9000 Garden

Hose Flash Expandable Ladder.

If we break that waterpipe,
the room will flood,

and we can float up to the top.

Great thinking, Dean.

[grunt]

Get back.

Hiya!

[water gushing]

[coughing]

What's happening?

The water must have
caused a short circuit.

Remember, let your spy
intuition be your eyes.

[gurgling]

[splash]

[coughing]

That's the second time
you saved my life, Dean.

You're the best.

Just doing my job.

Hello?

I practically invented
damsel in distress.

Hello?

We're about to be
spy pancakes here.

[grunt]

This will never work.

We need leverage.

Remember, we've
got to use teamwork.

Let's put our heads together.

Better yet, let put
our bodies together.

We can form a human
chain under the water.

It may give us the leverage
we need to open the skylight.

Almost there.

Just a little more.

Got it.

[panting]

That was some pretty
amazing teamwork.

Speaking of
team, where's Dean?

[gasp]

What if he's still down there?

Then we've gotta save him.

[scream]

[crash]

What's going on?

The ballroom's normal again.

I don't know,
but this spy's not

gonna stick around to find out.

I second that.

Let's get outta here.

Lay Show Our only
chance to find Dean

is to get outta
here and call Jerry.

[sirens blaring]

We've been detected.

Run!

Terrance.

Is everything
all right, girls?

No, everything
is not all right.

Where have you been?

I retired early, but
when I couldn't sleep,

I thought a nice walk
would tucker me out.

[yawn] Looks like it worked.

You mean you didn't
notice the earthquake

that rocked the entire mansion?

Earthquake?

Or the flooding ballroom
where we almost drowned?

Flooding ballroom?

Oh, my.

Or Dean's bizarre
disappearance into thin air--

or rather, water?

Ugh, how long was your walk?

It sounds like you girls
have had quite a night.

But don't worry, I
know where Dean is.

Would you like to see him?

[gasp]

ALL: Dean!
TERRANCE: You see?

Dean is fine.

Help me.

At least he will be
fine if you do as I say.

Oh!

Stop!

You're hurting him.

[chuckle]

You see, the closer
you get to Dean,

the tighter the lucite's
grip on him gets.

Ugh, hey, did all those years
of fetching towels and room

service finally make you snap?

You have no idea what it's
like always being second!

Nothing Terrance did
was ever good enough.

Well, that's all gonna
change starting now, mates.

Now, if you want to prevent
your fellow chosen one

from getting crushed, I
suggest you do as I say.

OK, what do you want?

I'm sorry I had to
interrupt your training

and dispose of your instructors,
but I have a mission for you.

You three will eliminate Jerry.

Ugh, ya, right, like
we'd ever hurt Jerry.

Besides, what did Jer
ever do to you anyway?

That's for me to know
and you to find out.

After you eliminate him, you'll
retrieve the microchip he keeps

hidden under the large
birthmark on his neck

and return it to me.

I'll be watching
your every move.

Try any funny business,
and you'll never see

your good friend Dean again.

Don't worry, Dean.

We won't let you down.

There's a chopper
waiting for you.

Say goodbye to Jerry for me.

[evil laughter]

[theme music]