05x01 - Evil Graduation

[bunniefuu]

[solemn electronic chord]

[bright electronic chord]

[theme music]

[upbeat music playing]

[bell ringing]

[students cheering]

Dude, this is it.

High school is
permanently done-zo!

Seriously, bro,
who knew senior year

would go by so quickly?

If only our Bev High
days could last forever,

but like, they still can't.

Don't be so sure about that.

[suspenseful music playing]

[mellow music playing]

Aw, I can't believe we're
actually splitting up!

It's like, sadder than the
time I accidentally put

Ollie in the washing machine.

Don't worry, Alex.

We'll still see each other,
at least on spy missions.

It won't be the same!

With us going to
college, and Clover going

to the Fashion Academy of
Do's and Don'ts, we're certain

to drift apart.

[thunder crackling]

Um, speaking of drifting
apart, where's Clover?

ALEX: Clover?

Clover?

CLOVER: I'm in here, and
I can't find the outfit I

bought for graduation anywhere!

Must've packed it by accident.

Why not wear something else?

After all, you do
have the largest

wardrobe rotation in school

Yeah.

It's not like no one will know
what you're wearing anyway.

It'll be under
your cap and gown.

Hel-lo!

I'll know!

And as a future student of
FADD, I bear a certain amount

of stylistic responsibility.

Now get over here
and help me look!

Whoa!

Since when do we get ocean
breezes inside the house?

Something tells me this storm
is of the unnatural variety.

And I have a feeling its
name is Hurricane Jerry!

[girls squealing]

This is crazy!

How can Jer be sending us on
a mission on graduation day?

Actually, today's
mission belongs to me.

It seems I've got to get you
ladies to graduation on time.

On time?

But we aren't even running late.

Yeah, it's only 7:50.

Graduation isn't till 11:00.

JERRY: According to
WOOHP's GPS system,

it's 10:50, which
means graduation

is in precisely 10 minutes.

How's that possible?

Oopsie.

My bad.
- Alex?

What did you do?

I set the clocks in the
house back three hours

so we could stay
up later last night

and spend more time together,
only I kind of forgot I did it.

SAM AND CLOVER: Alex!
[girls clamoring]

Oof.
Oh, my.

[GRADUATION ATTENDEES
CHATTERING]

With k*ller rags
like these, we

are sure to be the
best-dressed grads at Bev High.

[cackles]

Heck yeah!

So top.

So, where you gonna
land the jet, Jer?

I'm afraid there's
no time for that.

You girls will have to jump.
- [gasps]

Jump?

But I'm wearing pumps!

And I'm wearing slippers!

Not to worry.

Your gowns are actually
high-tech WOOHP parachutes.

A simple tug of your
tassels will deploy them.

Uh--

JERRY: I'll meet you at
graduation as soon as I can.

Cheerio!

[girls yelping]

ALEX: Cool.

Uh, not cool!

What kinda brake's
on this thing?

Forget the brakes.

Prepare for a crash landing!

[heavy thudding]

[surprised gasping]

Hey, that wasn't so bad.

[mandy screeching]

Speak for yourselves!

You just ruined my
designer grad gown,

and my grad-maids' dresses!

I can't wait to graduate
and get away from you

losers once and for all!

[CAITLIN AND DOMINIQUE
GRUMBLING]

[drum rolling]

[gasps]

You hear that, girls?

[stately orchestral music]

[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND
APPLAUDING]

They're playing our song!

Which means it's time to say
goodbye to our last moments

of high school togetherness.

Not before a majorly
emotional group hug, we don't!

[alex sniffles and wails]

[girls wailing]

GIRLS: Best friends forever!

Hey, Chet!

Don't you know that a
varsity jacket is not

the official graduation setup?

You can't go on
stage like that.

Yeah, even for
the homecoming king.

Don't worry.

I've got it covered.

Because there isn't going
to be any graduation.

[ominous music playing]

[jerry muttering nervously]

[shoes squealing]

[jerry humming nervously]

Oh.

As your prestigious
valedictorian,

let me be the first to say
goodbye and good riddance.

[shocked gasping]

That's right.

From now on, you'll have
to find someone else to do

your homework, and wear
your Kick Me signs,

'cause ole Arnold is
movin' up and movin' out!

Not if I have anything
to say about it.

[electronic chirping]

[gas hissing]

[surprised gasping]

[suspenseful music playing]

[groggy sighing]

Hey, what are we
doing back here?

Was graduation just a dream?

Ee!

I must still be dreaming.

Otherwise, why would I be
in my jammies at school?

Unfortunately,
I think we're wide

awake, which means whatever's
going on, it's way weird!

Morning, Blings!

Chet here with a
few announcements.

There's a scrapbooking
club on campus called

The Best Years Of Our Lives.

See me for the sign up sheet.

On Friday nights,
there'll be a prom

reenactment held in the gym.

Don't forget to vote for
yours truly for prom king.

Again!

[laughs]

Finally, all classes
are hereby canceled.

Now please join me for a
rousing pep rally in the quad!

OK, what's wrong
with this picture?

You mean the part
where Chet appears

to have taken over the school?

Or the part where he
started a scrapbooking club?

[clover scoffing]

Either way, it's disturbing,
which is why we're going to get

to the bottom of it ASAP.

Come on!

Hey, where'd all the
underclassmen go?

Maybe they took the day off.

Along with the
faculty and staff?

We can figure
that out in a sec.

Right now, I need
to stop at my locker

for a quick wardrobe change.

[shocked gasping]

Forget about a dream.

This is a total nightmare!

CHET [OVER
LOUDSPEAKER]: Gimme a B!

Gimme an E!
- What's that?

CHET [OVER LOUDSPEAKER] : --V!

What does it spell?

Bev!

Sounds like the
Beverly Bling fight song.

That's it!

PJs or no PJs, it's time
to get some answers.

[suspenseful music playing]

[cackling]

Nice ensemble, fashion failure.

Only you would show up
to a group abduction

dressed so pathetically.

[scoffing]

More like fashion forward.

Of course I wouldn't
expect a FADD

reject like yourself to know PJs
are the hot new trend for fall.

[flamenco music playing]

[mandy squalling]

[clover and mandy screeching]

Uh, girls?

I think we have Bigger things
to worry about than clothes.

CHET: Gimme a B!

Gimme an E!

Gimme a V!

What does it spell?

Bev!

[girls gasping]

Go Blings!

I hope you're all
as excited as I

am to be here, 'cause this year
is gonna be the best year ever!

[excited chattering]

Oof.

But high school's over, Chet.

We're supposed to be graduating.

High school is never over
at the new Beverly High.

It lasts forever!

Forever?

[nervous huffing]

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about the Bev
High reproduction I created

for all of us to live in.

Now the best years of our
lives can last a lifetime!

ARNOLD: Forget it.

There's no way I'm going
through high school again.

Now outta my way!

[shocked yelping]

[girls shrieking]

[chuckling] Oopsie.

Don't want to do that.
[frightened gasping]

You see, the new Bev
High is fortified with

an impenetrable security fence.

And if anyone else
tries to escape,

they'll be forced to work
in the school kitchen.

Have fun!

I'll be in the gym setting
up for tonight's prom

if anyone needs me.

Okay, it's official.

Chet's completely
gone off the deep end.

Talk about not
being able to move on.

It's like he wants to relive his
glory days over and over again.

Maybe that's not
such a bad idea.

If we stayed in Chet's
freaky fake high school, then

we wouldn't have to
separate from each other.

[girls giggling]

Aw, as nice as that
sounds, Alex, we can't stay.

Sammy's right.

We need to call Jer
for a rescue, pronto!

Apparently, the new Bev High
is out of my service zone.

In that case, we'll
just have to capture Chet

and force him to let us go.

How are we going to do that?

I mean, just 'cause
the guy's a dumb jock

doesn't mean he's stupid.

Simple.

We're going to use some
bait to distract him.

Bait?

[mandy cackling]

Forget it, Sammy.

I'm not asking
Mandy for anything.

Clover's right.

Besides, there's no way
she'll ever agree to help us.

Trust me.

[suspenseful music playing]

Remind me again
why I agreed to help

you losers and risk being
relegated to kitchen duty?

Because, if we
don't get out of here,

we'll have to spend
an eternity together.

Well, what are we
standin' around for, people?

Let's do this!

[jerry snoring]

Oh my.

I must have fallen asleep.

Guess the girls are right.

I am getting old.

MANDY: Hey Chet, wanna
sign my yearbook?

There's an open spot right next
to the last place you signed.

Sure thing, Mandy.

OK, girls.

Time to show Chet who
really rules this school.

GIRLS: Hi-yah!

[chet gasping]

CHET: Hey, what do you
think you're doing?

Showing you our school
spirit with a little

impromptu volleyball game.

ALEX: Hope you don't
mind being the ball.

[scoffs]

It's going to take more
than the three of you

to take me down, or have you've
forgotten I'm also captain

of the Bev High wrestling team?

[grunts]

[pained grunting]

Hm.

SAM: Hi-yah!

[shrieking]

[blows thudding]

[chet grunting]

CLOVER: Hi-yah!

[chet grunting]

[blow thudding]

[blades rasping]

[combatants grunting]

Uh, Mandy?

Mind giving us a
little help here?

Help?

Why would I give you help?

I'm just an innocent bystander
who loves her faux school.

Yeah!

[chet roaring]

[girls shrieking]

[chet grunting]

[girls groaning]

Go Team Beverly!

[electronic buzzing]

[ominous music playing]

GIRLS: Whoa!

CHET: You girls just
bought yourself a stretch

in the Bev High kitchen.

Happy cooking with
your new recruits!

ARNOLD: Hey, Chet!

Good buddy!

Now that you have these girls
to work in your kitchen,

how about letting your old Bev
High chum out of here, huh?

[sycophantic muttering]

Not a chance.

[blow thudding]

[arnold yelping]

And I like my meatloaf
well done, but not too dry.

I can't believe it!

Things have gone from
way bad to way worse!

Tell me about it.

This kitchen is the pits.

Who's talking
about the kitchen?

I'm talking about Chet making
me wear this nasty polyester

lunch lady outfit!

[grunts]

Forget about your
fashion crisis, Clover!

We need to find a
way out of here.

It's no use.

I've looked everywhere.

There's no escape!

Mm!

Hey, this fridge
isn't even real.

It's made out of cardboard.

So is the stove.

Ouch!

[sam gasping]

Whoa!

Even the grapefruit
is fake fruit.

I mean, hel-lo!

Low-budget baddie much?

The weird thing is,
for a fake kitchen,

it's really hot in here.

Well, you know what they say.

If you can't stand the heat,
get out of the kitchen.

[alex grunting]

Looks like this
leads to the roof.

Come on!

[girls grunting]

Hey, wait for me!

Great.

Out of the frying pan
and into the sauna.

Where'd Chet build this place?

The Sahara Desert?

Apparently, he
didn't realize his

invisi-shield would cause a
mega greenhouse effect in here.

If we don't get our
fellow grads out soon,

there won't be anyone
left to graduate.

[students gasping]

We better hit it before
Chet finds out we escaped.

Hold it right there, girls!

GIRLS: What?

Are you kidding?

This guy's more
stalker-y than Jer!

[arnold grunting]

Hey girls, wait up!

I'm stuck!

Sorry Arnold, gotta run.

We'll come back for you later!

[girls grunting]

[chet growling]

[chet cackling]

[distressed shrieking]

[girls grunting]

I think we lost him.

[girls gasping]

[expl*si*n booming]

Oh yeah?

Well, you better
tell Chet, 'cause

I don't think he got the memo.

Not another step,
Bev High haters!

[grunts]

[girls shrieking]

[expl*si*n booming]

[chet grunting]

[explosions booming]

Wow, Clover.

I never thought I'd see the
day when you'd be running

away from a homecoming float.

Desperate times call
for desperate measures.

[chet grunting]

Hi-yah!

[expl*si*n booming]

[distressed shrieking]

[explosions booming]

Come on, let's give this
crazy quarterback the slip!

GIRLS: Huh?

[chet chuckling]

[float rumbling]

Hah!

Looks like we got
away unscathed.

Yow!

[surprised gasping]

OK, maybe a little scathed.

Hey.

This just might be
our ticket outta here.

OK, you don't seriously
expect me to get

down into that dirty hole and--

[shrieking]

[spitting and yelping]
Look at me!

I'm covered in
dirt and worm poo!

We'll go to the
dry cleaner later.

Right now, we have
to call Jerry.

Hello?

Jerry, it's us.

You're not gonna believe
what just happened!

We were kidnapped by
Chet, the football captain,

and taken to a fake
Beverly High with the rest

of our graduating class.

Then we were locked in a
fake kitchen with fake food,

but we escaped through
a vent in the ceiling.

And then we dug our way
under a freaking force shield

and totally thrashed our manis!

Oh, my.

Everyone's parents
must be worried sick!

I'm on my way.

[jet engine whirring]

[electronic trilling]

[clover sighs happily]

This sky uni is like being
reunited with an old friend.

ONBOARD COMPUTER:
Autopilot engaged.

Here are a few
more old friends,

along with one new one.

The kazooka, a kazoo with a
powerful bazooka function.

The molecular
separating perfume,

and the infrared motion
detector heat sensor sunglasses.

Thanks, Jer.

Speaking of heat
sensing, can you

use the jet's climate
detector to take a temperature

reading inside the dome?

One temp reading
coming right up.

[electronic beeping]



That's like being inside a
tanning booth in the Valley.

Precisely why you need
to get back down there

and save everyone, promptly.

Come on, Spies.

Let's blitz the QB.

[girls cheering]

[theme music playing]

[spray hissing]

[distorted warbling]

[girls grunting]

As a gadget, the
molecular separating perfume

totally rules.

[coughing] But as a
perfume, it totally reeks.

[suspenseful music]

Whew!

This heat is brutal.

No doubt.

It reminds me of the time the
AC in my convertible broke down

and I had to roll down
the windows to cool off.

Only there's no windows
to roll down here.

SAM: Exactly why we have to find
the source of the dome's power

and shut it down.

I'm on it.

[electronic trilling]

It's under the fountain.

Come on!

[annoyed grunting]
Everybody stay calm.

We'll have this place
cooled off in a sec.

MANDY: This is all your fault!

If you losers hadn't
rebelled and made Chet angry,

he wouldn't have
turned our posh prison

into a heinous heat trap!

Our fault?
As if!

Have you totally forgotten
how you sold us out?

[frustrated yelping]
- Uh, Clover?

Save it for later.

We've got work to do.

OK, everybody
outta the fountain!

What are you waiting for?

[expl*si*n booming]

[distressed clamoring]

Not very subtle, Sammy,
but definitely effective.

[surprised grunt]

I'm glad you girls came back.

Now I can discipline
you properly.

Oh great.

Here comes the one-man
homecoming committee again.

Time to show this class clown
that school is officially out.

[float rumbling]

[chet chuckling]

[ominous music playing]

[girls grunting]

Hah!

[chuckling] Enjoying
the ride, ladies?

Yeah, it's a real blast, but
why should we have all the fun?

[girls grunting]

[chet yelping]

Ow!

[float crashing]

[chet screaming]

No!

Nice going, Clover!

You saved our skins, literally.

Hey, there's the kazooka!

[high-pitched whistling]

[expl*si*n booming]

[girls grunting]

[students cheering]

[upbeat music playing]

I'm sure gonna
miss that fountain.

It was such a part
of my childhood.

Uh, Alex?
It's a fake, remember?

Oh, right.

Never mind.

[shield warbling and crackling]

[breeze and students sighing]

[students cheering]

We did it!

We destroyed the shield!

[chet growling]

CLOVER: We destroyed the shield,
and not a moment too soon.

My ends are starting to split.

OK, Spies.

Let's round up Chet and get
back to the real Bev High.

[girls gasping]

[techno music playing]

[mechanical rumbling]

[chet grunting]

OK, now I know where
Chet's budget went.

[students yelping]

[chet chortling]

What do we do now?

SAM: We run!

[a*tillery blasting]

[girls grunting]

GIRLS: Whoa!

[expl*si*n booming]

SAM: He's got us pinned down!

If we try to make a run
for it, we're toast!

Oh yeah?

Let's see how Chet
likes this tune.

[chet growling]

[kazooka buzzing and fizzling]

Oh, no!

It's out of a*mo.

OK, time for a new game plan.

I'm all over it!

[alex grunting]

[machinery rumbling]

[chet growling]

[alex grunting]

[electronic beeping]

Hey!

[yelping]

[debris clattering]

[clover laughing]

Way to go, Alex!

Yeah!

You're a way better
quarterback than Chet!

I'm not through
with you girls.

I'm going to build a better
school, and a better float,

with armor plated roses!

And then you'll see--

[screaming]

Ah.

[jet engines whirring]

Hey, Jer!

You got room for one more?

JERRY [ON COMMUNICATOR]:
I'll see what I can do.

Now shouldn't you girls be
getting back to more important

things, like graduation?

Help!

[upbeat music playing]

[students laughing]

[bell ringing]

This is it, the
last time we'll

ever be in school together.

Isn't there some way we can
make it last a little longer?

Uh, guys?

I was thinking.

What if we drop our
plans for school

and go to college here instead?

You know, together, at
the University of Malibu?

Works for me!

Count me in!

[girls cooing]

Splendid idea.

See what I mean?

He can be so stalker-y.

Now that that's
settled, I just

wanted you to know that Chet's
attitude is being adjusted

by WOOHP agents, and he'll
be eligible for graduation

next year.

As for your other classmates,
we've erased any memories

of their traumatic abduction.

GIRLS: Thanks, Jer!

We graduated!

Mali U, here we come!

[theme music]

[solemn electronic chord]