05x05 - Another Evil Boyfriend

[bunniefuu]

[music playing]

[theme music]

[cheerful music]

[ominous music]

In order to take
out the enemy,

one must begin to
think like the enemy.

Hm.

Looks like my fave
mall is The Groove,

my fave eatery is The Veg-Out,
and my fave movie of all time

is "10 Things I Love About
You But Still Want To Change."

Operation-- Spy Elimination
is now in effect.

[evil laughter]

[twinkle]

[funky music]

BOTH: [laughter] [screaming]

We are gathered here
today at 21,000 feet

to join Clover and
Blaine in matrimony.

Ugh, I can't believe
Clover made us wear

these totally ugly dresses!

Guess she didn't want
us stealing her spotlight!

Uh, excuse me?

Jer is trying to
marry Blainey and me.

Ahem.

Blainey-- I mean, Blaine,
do you take Clover to be

your lawfully wedded wife?

Totally!

Aww!

JERRY: And Clover, do
you take Blaine to be

your lovely wedded husband?

Heck yes!

Then by the
power vested in me,

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

Hah.

[sighs]

BOTH: Mmm-
Huh?

Huh?

What's going on?

Ah!

[alarm ringing]
- Ugh!

Wedding interupted?

And just when Jer was
getting to the good part!

Mm.

Oh!

Of course.

I can't stay mad for
long with Blainey's

smiling face watching over me!

Time to tell my dreamy dude
all about our dreamy wedding.

Rise and shine!

Did my [inaudible]
Venus sleep well?

Only because I dreamed about
you, the cutest coed ever!

I had a dream about you, too!

We have so much in common.

We even dream alike.

That's because we're
made for each other, Poki.

Mwah!

Oh!

Mwah!

I can't wait to see you.

Want to meet for lunch?

Definitely!

I'll be the guy at
the picnic table

who only has eyes for you.

Mwah!

Later bestest boyfriend ever.

[screaming] [laughter]

What's the matter, Clover?

Did you see a spider?
Break a nail?

Find new split ends?

No, no, and no!

The reason I'm so blissed is
because Blaine is the one!

The one what?

The one I like even more than
my designer shoe collection.

The one I'm going to marry!

[squeals]

Marry?

But you've only known
him for like a week.

And you've only gone
on like three dates.

What can I say?

I'm head over heels in love.

[alarm ringing]

Good morning, spys.

Lovely day we're having.

I didn't think my
alarm clock could

get any more annoying till now.

Whatever it is, Jer, can't
it wait till after breakfast?

Please accept my
sincerest apologies.

But unfortunately, it can't.

[screaming]

Some apology!

Jer really has to learn
to respect girl time!

ALL: Agh!

Hello, ladies.

You know, Jer, if
you hadn't performed

such a lovely skydiving wedding,
I'd be seriously mad at you

right now.

Uh, OK.

We've just received a
hot tip about a crime

that's about to occur.

Mall Rat, a notorious criminal
who's eluded WOOHP for years,

is going to strike
Beverly Hills.

[gasps]

No!

Not The Groove!

I'm afraid so.

Mall Rat is planning
to borrow his way

into area shopping centers so
he can loot their contents.

You mean he'll have,
like, first pick of all

the hot new colors and sizes?

And no annoying lines?

[sighs] That's so awesome.

Need I remind you that this
is, in fact, ill*gal behavior.

You'll need the heat sensor
motion detector sunglasses

with binocular function,
the earring microphone

communicates, the
hairpick lockpick,

and the mouse trap lunchbox.

Oh, I had one just like
this when I was a kid.

Well, careful!

It has a hair trigger.

[giggles] I never
thought I'd see

the day when Jer would sanction
a mid day trip to the mall.

This job just got
a whole lot better.

Happy shopping.

ALL: Thanks, Jer!

[screaming]

[spy music]

[screaming]

Clover, we're kind
of on a mission here.

Can you read mags
on your own time?

You don't read
Bodacious Bride.

You just flip
through the pictures.

OK, then how about this?

You're way too young
to get married!

Duh!

That's why it's called dreaming.

A girl can never
be too prepared.

[chuckles]

Either that's the
Mall Rat or there's

a freaky new fashion trend.

[sniffing]

That guy seriously
needs a life.

[grunting]

And a flea bath.

See, that's what happens
when you don't plan ahead.

You become a single,
weird guy in a rat suit.

[panting] [sniffing] Gah!

OK.

Alex and I will be
the bait while you

swoop in and trap the rat.

I just love a foolproof plan.

BLAINE: Target spotted.

Moving in.

[evil laughter] In

[spy music]

Any sign of the rodent yet?

Yes.

The Mall Rat is surfacing
near Clogs, Clogs, Clogs.

Be right there, Sammy.

Apparently, the Mall Rats bad
taste also extends to footwear.

Oh!

[screaming]

Clover!

Are you OK?

I'm fine!

Except for the part
where I'm being attacked!

[rumbling]

Gah!

No!

[panting] Sorry, girls.

But the mall doesn't
open until 10:00.

Ah!

[screaming] Ugh.

Time for Plan B.

There's a Plan B?

Hah!

You think some overpriced
Kashmir is going to stop me?

Once you've tried the
best, you forget the rest.

Hiyah!

[gasp]

And Clover said pashminas
were out of style.

Pink really brings out
the sewer in your eyes.

Sam!

Alex!

I'm warning you.

Let go of our friend,
or I'll chipotle you.

Whoa.

Ugh.

Don't worry, Alex.

No one can handle the
extra hot picante.

Weird.

Where'd it go?

I don't know.

Hello?

Any time you want to untie me.

Ow, ow, ow.

Oh no, Clover, are you hurt?

More like sore
from sitting on this.

What is it?

It looks like some
kind of tracking device.

But there's one person
who will know for sure.

Hello, girls.

I trust the mall rat has
been successfully detained.

Yeah.

But his mysterious henchman
tried to spynap Clover,

then got away.

Well, that's odd.

As far as I know, the mall
rat always works alone.

But I'm fine now.

Thanks for asking.

The henchman left
behind one clue.

Only problem is we have
no idea what it is.

Send it in for analysis,
then return to school.

In the meantime, I'll
send in some agents

to pick up the mall rat.

The food court
opens in 15 minutes.

Wanna grab some brunch?

Sorry.

But I promised to meet Blaine.

At least there's one person
who'll be glad I'm all right.

Darn.

There doesn't seem to be any
room for Jer at that table.

No biggie.

After the wedding, he can sit
in the kitchen with the busboys.

[screaming]

Blainey, over here.

Hey, beautiful.

I brought all your faves--

brie and apple on organic
flax, pasta salad,

hold the celery, sparkling apple
juice, and chocolate mousse

for dessert.

Thanks.

But how did you know these
are all my current must-haves?

What can I say?

I like to make sure
my girl's happy.

You've got a stain
on your V-ball shirt.

Here.

Let me.

Speaking of V-ball,
with playoffs next month,

Coach scheduled a last minute
practice, so I can't stay.

Oh.
OK.

I should be done by 8:00.

How does a sunset stroll
on the beach sound?

It sounds perfect,
just like you.

[laughter]

[buzzing]

It's nice to see you girls
involved in academic pursuits.

Wish I could say it's
nice to see you too.

Yeah.

Haven't you ever heard of a
little thing called privacy?

Sorry to disturb you, but
the results of the analysis

just came in.

The device you found is a
pocket pump for volleyballs.

It's actually quite
a handy little thing.

That's great, Jer.

But how does it help
us ID the henchman?

Thanks to the
little MU insignia,

I've been able to determine
the pocket pumps are

standard issue to each
member of the Mali-U

beach volleyball team.

[GASPING] Wait.

Did you just Mali-U
beach volleyball team?

You don't think
Blaine was somehow

involved in attacking Clover?

It's impossible
to say for sure,

but better to be
safe than sorry.

In that case, Clover
needs to be alerted ASAP.

Let's go.

Clover, are we
ever glad to see you.

That doesn't mean
you have to plow me

down in the middle of campus.

Jerry just called.

You know that little
device we found?

Turns out it's a pocket
pump for volleyballs.

Huh?

They're standard issue for the
Mali-U beach volleyball team.

Hmm.

You know, Blaine's
beach volleyball team.

[LAUGHING] Hello?

Since when is Blaine the
only guy to go to the mall?

Maybe it fell out of my stuff.

I do spend a lot of time
with my future hubby.

That's just it.

Even though you spend a
lot of time with Blaine,

what do you really
know about him?

I know enough to know
that Blaine would never

hurt me in a million year--

[screaming]

Guess the picnic was
Blaine's idea, huh?

I thought when Blaine
said he wanted to take

me out he meant on a date.

Looks like you'll have to put
those wedding plans on hold.

[CRYING] This totally
explains the stain on his shirt.

It was picante sauce.

And to think I just picked
out our china pattern.

Time for a little background
check on your boyfriend baddy.

Forget WOOHP.

I've got a better idea.

Let's go right to the source.

Hmm.

With all the super
rad designers in SoCal,

you'd think someone would
design a better uniform.

Let's just get in and out
before Blaine gets back.

Hello?

Is anybody home?

Mali-U cleaning crew.

Bland dorm furniture, check.

Posters of cute girls, check.

Dirty laundry on
the floor, check.

Yep.

Looks like your
average, run-of-the-mill

boy's dorm room.

I can't believe I suspected
poor, innocent Blainey.

I'm such a bad girlfriend.

Careful.

Remember what happened the
last time you said that.

Ow.

Girls?

Something tells me we're
not at Mali-U anymore.

Whoa.

There's nothing
innocent about this.

Hmm.

Ew.

Gross.

Creepy stalker much?

Blaine's been watching our
every spy move with a periscope.

Since he knows all
about us, it's only

fair we learn all about him.

[gasping]

This confirms it.

Blaine is a freelance spy
sent to eliminate Clover.

I can't believe it.

I know.

Having an assassin
boyfriend is a total bummer.

Not that.

He totally got my fave
movie of all time wrong.

"10 Things I Love About
You But Still Wanna Change"

is my third fave at best.

Don't worry, Clover.

Together, we'll beat that
lying, cheating, no-good

spy boyfriend at his own game.

I hardly think this
is the time to set

Blaine up with Mandy, Sam.

Oh.

You don't mean that
kind of revenge.

[gasping]

Oh, no.

Blaine's home.

Come on.

Luckily I know just the
place to get back at him.

If we want to hoodwink
Blaine into believing

we're none the wiser,
you have to act natural.

Just relax, OK?

Hmm.

Here goes nothing.

Hi, Blaine.

[LAUGHING] I mean
Blainey, how was practice?

Clover, I wasn't expecting
to hear from you again.

I mean not before our
sunset stroll on the beach.

That's actually what
I was calling about.

We still on for 8:00?

Wouldn't miss it
for the world, Poki.

Ugh.

Ugh.

I can't believe I fell for
such a two-faced spy jerk.

Try to look on
the bright side.

What bright side?

Think of all the time you'll
save not planning the wedding.

I'll wait over there for my
no-good boyfriend while you two

hide behind those sand dunes.

Blaine won't
know what hit him.

Totally.

I just love a good sneak attack.

That makes two of us.

If there's one thing I hate
about coming to the beach,

it's the sand fleas.

Spiders Spiders aren't
much fun either.

[screaming]

Ah.

Get it off.

Get it off.

[grunting]

Even though we're totally
losing, I have to say it--

super cool gadget.

Clover.

[gasping]

Blaine, if I
didn't know better,

I'd think you were
trying to sneak up on me.

Only so I could give
you a big hug, beautiful.

I've missed you so much.

So how was your day?

My day?

Well, let's see.

I got up, worked out, almost
got taken out by my lunch, then

discovered you're the one
that tried to blow me up.

Don't worry.

The bad day's almost over.

Haven't you heard?

A good boyfriend is hard to nab.

When you see one, let me know.

[laughter]

[GASPING] You brought supper?

Your last supper, that is.

It's a shame someone as cute as
you could be such a bad person.

And it's a shame
someone as cute

as you could be such
a bad boyfriend.

Oh.

Impressive moves.

They teach you that
at evil spy school?

You would know.

You obviously graduated
top of your class.

Huh?

I can't believe Blaine
thinks Clover's an evil spy.

Which means he also
thinks we're evil spies.

Time to call Jer.

[grunting]

When we get out
of this, we really

need to get the name of
Blaine's gadget supplier.

Yeah.

They totally rock.

Oh.

Oh.

Careful, sunshine.

The cheesecake's a little
heavy on the cream.

You be careful, peanut.

The appies have toothpicks.

You keep calling me the baddy,
but you're the one who's been

stalking me this whole time.

And so far this
month, you've stolen

a weapon of world
destruction, robbed a bank,

and tried to break
into the mall.

Wait.

You think I had something
to do with those?

If the crime fits.

[grunting]

Haven't you ever heard of
innocent until proven guilty?

Hey.

[grunting]

Jerry, as you can see,
we kinda need your help.

Oh, my.

I'm on my way.

Ah.

How could someone so
cute be so wrong for me?

Ugh.

Ah.
I mean hello?

You're totally insane.

And you're totally
not fooling me.

[grunting]

[boat horn blaring]

[screaming]

Oh, my.

Ugh.

OK.

Time to put an end to this
weak, weird relationship.

[gasping]

Hmm.

Listen, Blaine.

There's obviously
been some mistake.

What do you say we grab a bite
and figure this thing out?

Sorry.

I've lost my appetite.

[screaming]

Our gadgets may not be
as super advanced as yours,

but they get the job done.

[grunting]

Is there any way
you could erase

Blaine's memory so we could
still, you know, be a couple?

Clover.

What?

It's a shame to let all
my plans go to waste.

[COUGHING] Perhaps
you won't have to.

After a little
sleuthing of my own,

it appears that Blaine is
actually an agent for good.

Ugh.

Sure didn't feel
that way when he was

pelting me with tuna casserole.

And so is Clover.

Oh, right.

You can't speak.

Here.

Allow me.

Phew.

But I don't understand.

I was hired to off a baddy.

Now I'm afraid Clover
isn't the villain

your anonymous employer
made her out to be.

How did you know
about my employer?

Even I don't know who it is.

Hello?

World Organization of
Human Protection much?

They know everything.

I'm sorry I put
you through all this,

but I thought you
were totally evil.

I'll forgive you
on one condition.

Anything.

Just name it.

Hmm.

We officially
get back together.

Oh.

There's still a little
matter of figuring

out who set Blaine up and
who tried to take out Clover.

After the sunset
stroll on the beach.

But-- but--

Don't ruin the
romantic moment.

[music playing]