Is It a Crime? (2025)

[bunniefuu]

(TRAFFIC BLARING)

(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

(FISTS POUNDING ON DOOR)

MAN: Who the f*ck is that

knocking like the police?

(FISTS POUNDING ON DOOR)

Now, one more m*therf*cking time

to knock like you

ain't got no sense.

n*gga!

(TRAFFIC RUMBLING)

Hurry, guys.

You are an hour late!

I know, I'm sorry.

It took a while to move Dad

into the Meadowland homes,

but he's in good hands now.

Well, from what

they're charging me,

they should've rolled out

the red carpet treatment.

Come on, Dad.

So as we discussed,

these are the corporate

restructuring papers

that your father

has had us create.

Now Helen, your role

will be perfunctory,

but still vital.

You will be the face

of the business.

You're your own boss, you

can set your own schedule,

you'll have an assistant,

your own office,

and well, a great paycheck.

It's important that Helen still is

involved in the major decisions.

I mean, I will be

around to advise.

Yes, yes, yes, right, right.

No, right, right, Dale.

I have made this company.

I have stood by this company,

and I am not gonna

have you toss me out

like yesterday's trash

because of my disease.

I still make the decisions,

so let's not get too big

for our britches, Dale.

Yes sir, of course sir,

I apologize.

- I was just...

- Just what?

Now you listen, I have

made some hard decisions,

some might even say harsh,

to get this company

to where it is now.

But it was worth it.

I am proud of it.

Just look at our company.

Helen is my proxy, do you

understand that, Dale?

- Tammy.

- Of course.

DALE: Yes, yes,

of course, sir.

And that is reflected in

the restructuring papers, yes?

Yes, yes, of course.

That's what we've already

written in these pages.

That's very good, then.

Let's proceed.

What we were saying

is that we see this

as allowing the day

to day operations

to fall under the

company's umbrella,

not just directly from

your father's office.

Oh, then let's sign.

TAMMY: Helen, here's the pen.

(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

(SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES)

(KIDS CHATTERING)

(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

- What are you saying?

- What am I saying?

Maybe we stay, maybe not

this time, I don't know.

You wanna get the rose,

vintage Cab, Merlot.

Oh, and the reds also?

KATHY: Mm, just get two cases.

We'll get through it.

Daddy?

Dad.

Do you know if you still

get your discount here,

do you remember?

No, I do not believe

that is possible.

(CORK POPS)

Can I offer you ladies

some samples?

Oh, I thought

you would never ask.

This is our red blend.

It's dry, light,

some oak finish,

but not overwhelming, soft.

Mm. Sounds perfect.

More, please?

SOMMELIER: Yes, of course Mrs.?

Clarkson.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

And, may I have

one more for my husband?

Sure.

Thanks.

And you are?

Helen.

Nice to meet you, Helen.

You have very soft hands, Helen.

(CHUCKLES) Thank you.

Hopefully not with

an oak finish.

So?

So?

What do you do, Helen?

Oh, a little of this,

and a little of that.

What about you?

This is temporary.

I have my series seven test

in a few weeks,

and then it's boom,

off to the races.

I should probably sit.

Can't leave Mom and Dad

unattended to.

Hey, you think I could

take you out sometime?

Uh, sure, yeah.

Sounds nice.

That's my personal cell.

Tomorrow night it is.

Tomorrow?

Yeah, tomorrow night.

I'll drop the cases off myself,

and then me and you

can go do something.

Okay, sounds great.

Well, enjoy the wine.

I'll see you then.

Thank you.

(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

(ENGINE IDLING)

Good evening, madam.

Thank you, kind sir.

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

So this truck get good mileage?

Yes, it does.

Sorry the Bentley's in the shop.

Oh, is that so?

(MICHAEL CHUCKLES)

Yeah, well, I know you're

used to the finer things.

That's not true, I've struggled.

Really?

Please, do tell.

Well, for example,

I had a serious ramen

noodle phase in college.

Wait, before you finish,

I have to ask this question.

Who paid for college?

I did.

With my trust fund?

Aha!

Trust fund.

sh*t, my funds have

trust issues, too.

Oh, you're funny.

(HELEN LAUGHS)

Yeah, well?

You wanna see what

real struggle is?

Sure, why not?

MICHAEL: And we are here.

HELEN: I don't

think I've ever been

to this part of the

vineyard before.

Of course not, this is

where all the employees go

to get away from

all of the customers.

Nah, it's just a place

with no pressure, you know?

Sometimes I wish

I had one of those.

What, a vineyard?

I mean, you could probably...

No, a place with no pressure,

no judgment.

Oh, well in that case,

let me make your experience

a little more quaint.

(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

(HELEN GIGGLES)

Welcome to Chauncey a la Stable.

Tonight, we'll be serving

our prime Himalayan beef

on a brioche bun with a nice

feta cheese and arugula finish.

Oh.

Basically, it's a cheeseburger.

(CHUCKLES) That

sounds great, I'll take one.

Coming right up.

(TENDER MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh.

So after grad school,

I came here

to start helping my

father with his business.

That's good.

What about you?

I'm not sure.

My father died a while ago.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah.

He died of an overdose.

I don't resent him for

being a bad father.

I use him as motivation

not to give up on life,

or a reason to quit.

Seems like it's working to me.

You think so?

Yeah, you seem like a good man

with a good head

on his shoulders.

Thank you.

And you have a little

sauce on your lip.

Do I?

Yeah.

I'll get it.

(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(PHONE BUZZES)

(HELEN SIGHS)

So Marty says,

"It ain't my problem."

"That's why I asked

for the receipt first."

Honey, tell me.

How is Michael doing?

Well, he picked up

an overnight shift,

which is why he couldn't

join us for dinner,

but he's doing fine,

just working a lot.

Well, I can't be mad

at a man who works hard,

just make sure you don't forget

the important things in life.

Family, love.

Yes, Daddy, he loves me

very much, and I love him.

Well, we only worry

because we rarely see him.

That's because he

works really hard, Mom.

He has two jobs.

He spends a majority of his

time supporting his family

after their father lost his job.

My God, that's terrible.

Look sweetheart,

I'm just saying,

losing yourself in your career,

it can bring out

the ugly in a person.

I mean, I should know.

I neglected the family.

It was a colleague,

Roy Thompson.

He was gunning for the

same position I wanted,

and despite the fact

that he had five kids,

I wanted the power.

I did what I had to do.

Harold, don't be so

harsh and paranoid.

Honey, if you are happy,

then we are happy.

Thanks, Mom.

Look, just be careful

of your moves.

You never know

who you're lying next to.

Okay Harold,

that's enough, cut it out.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(KEYS JINGLE)

Hey, how was your business trip?

(MICHAEL SIGHS)

Well, the first half

of the day was chaotic,

but I pulled through,

and the second half was

a nightmare from hell.

Why don't you just quit?

Quit?

I can't quit now, I've been

doing this for so long,

and pretty soon I'll be able to

Maybe I can help you

relieve some stress.

(CHUCKLES) Honey, not now.

It's late, I'm tired, I got

a meeting in the morning.

(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

Okay.

(TRAFFIC RUMBLING)

And then there's the

3:00 pm with Sachi,

and that should be it for today.

Okay, sounds like a light day.

Make sure everyone knows I'm

not gonna be in the office tomorrow,

and can you rearrange

my calendar?

- No problem.

- Thanks, Stacey.

- And this one.

- Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

And this one.

And here.

Stacey, these

are already signed.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, look at you,

Miss Efficient.

You know me.

(CHAIR SCRAPES)

How was your business trip?

Ah, baby.

Between Steinwell and Zeigerman,

this job is k*lling me.

All they wanna do is

solidify and liquidate

the Helmburg hedge fund.

It must be miserable to be stuck

between those two

money hungry pigs.

Yeah.

At this rate, I'll never

make it past associate.

These jobs are just k*lling me.

All I wanna do is

run with the bigwigs.

I know I have what it takes

to run a company.

I've been working my

a*s off my whole life.

I think I've learned

a thing or two.

You are doing a great job.

All you need is just

one more big account,

and then everyone will

see you just like I do.

Like that big boss

that I know you are.

Yeah, you're right.

It helps coming home

to a hot wife.

(HELEN GIGGLES)

How was your day?

Well, I had to sign

some more paperwork

on my father's behalf, and then

I just tended to the garden.

I know it's been tough.

If you need my help,

just let me know.

Thank you, baby,

but I think I got it.

Daddy was tough,

but he did a good job.

He did an amazing job.

Do you like this house?

Of course I do,

why, what's wrong?

I'm more thinking

about the space.

I mean, we have so much space,

and with you gone all the time...

Hey, I'm only gone sometimes,

but I understand.

What do you wanna do?

Well, I was thinking we could

start working on a family.

Oh, you mean a baby?

You're kidding, right?

Honey, I just got

this assignment.

Once I complete this deal,

we'll be in a much better place

to consider starting a family.

I can make enough

for both of us.

Yeah, and then what?

I look like a lazy leech

to your mother?

No thank you.

We'll be okay.

Yeah, well I won't be okay.

All I'm asking you is

for you to be patient.

Just wait a little bit longer.

I'm not going anywhere, are you?

No, of course not.

That's good.

How about we get you a dog?

I was thinking maybe we

rent out the guest house.

The guest house?

Yeah, I mean,

then I wouldn't feel so alone.

We'd have some

life in this place,

and we could set

aside some income,

you know, for a nest egg.

And this will

make you feel happy,

and get you off my back

about the baby talk?

This would make me

the happiest in the world.

Okay, we'll rent it out.

Mm, my sexy landlord.

That's right, yes ma'am,

and rent is due.

I don't think I have it.

Isn't there anything we can do?

Mm, maybe.

Let's step into my

office, upstairs.

Well, what if I don't want to?

Well, then I'm just gonna

have to come evict you then.

Come here.

- No!

- Come here.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(VIDEO CALL RINGING)

Hi.

Sorry, what is your name?

Oh, hello, I'm Danger.

Pleasure to meet you.

So, what do you

do for work, Danger?

I work for myself.

I'm self-made, I grow weed.

You smoke?

No, no, I do not.

Oh, you need to try.

I got this new sh*t,

it's called... (COUGHS)

Cat sh*t Drip?

Cat sh*t Drip?

Yeah, Cash sh*t Drip.

Drip, meaning you got people

dripping out the head.

Right.

(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

So do you take Section 8?

Oh, I'm sorry, we don't.

What kind of sh*t is that?

Matthew, watch your mouth!

But for real,

what kind of sh*t is that?

That's discrimination,

and you're r*cist.

How am I r*cist?

We're both white.

You're a different

type of white.

f*ck you.

You take Section 9?

What f*cking section

do you take?

(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

(FIRE CRACKLING)

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

(DOOR CREAKS)

Hi, I'm so sorry.

The open house is

closed for the day.

Oh I'm so sorry,

there's a lot of traffic

coming up from the city.

I'm Derrick Johnson.

Hi.

So, you aren't

showing the house?

No, you know what, that's fine.

Why don't you come on in?

Okay thank you, I appreciate it.

We can step on

into the living room.

Okay, thank you.

(FIRE CRACKLING)

So, tell me a little

about yourself.

I'm in advisory marketing,

analytical specialist.

Worked in Detroit for a bit,

born and raised in Boise.

Now relocated here

to New York City.

Now I like New York City,

but not necessarily

the people, the cars, the noise.

I thought being up here

might feel more like home.

It's quiet, peaceful.

Beautiful.

Um, well, all of this

seems to be in order.

Uh, where is Mrs. Johnson?

Mrs?

No, no, no, I'm not married.

Work is my wife, I do it well.

Maybe one day, I might

find that special woman

and conquer our love.

But if I want something,

I go for it,

no matter what the risk.

Funny, that's just the way

my father used to think.

Your father's a smart man.

Thank you.

So, where's the mister

of the house?

Oh, he's at work.

He works a lot,

so I'm either here at home

or at my father's company

in the city.

Okay, what does your father do?

My family owns a restaurant

management company.

Have you heard of Prestige Rest?

Prestige Rest?

Oh, you're kidding me.

My firm did the campaign for

their San Antonio division.

Papi's Steakhouse?

Your father was a very

successful man.

Yeah, that was him.

Well that was,

until he was diagnosed

with Alzheimer's disease.

Now, I just spend time

running his estate.

So you don't own the company?

Not yet, but soon.

That's not really

my focus right now.

I'm sorry to hear

about your father.

Thank you.

- Why don't I show you the guest house?

- Yeah.

(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

HELEN: It's amazing,

how's Detroit?

I've actually never visited.

Oh, it's not bad.

It's picking back up.

It slowed down

for a little while,

but it's picking

back up right now.

That sounds really exciting.

Met some nice people out there.

HELEN: Yeah, I bet.

Okay, so get some

lights in here, perhaps.

Okay, so this is the space.

- Very nice.

- Thanks.

A lot more than

Manhattan, right?

Right.

Kitchenette's over here.

Happy to put some

extra things in,

or you can bring your own,

just whatever you're

comfortable with.

(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)

You'll use the bedroom

straight back.

- You can divide it up, whatever you're comfortable with.

- Okay.

Let me show you the rest.

(TENDER MUSIC PLAYING)

I'll take you around the grounds

if you're interested.

Everything looks great,

everything.

- Okay, here's the paperwork.

- Okay.

- It's a one year lease.

- Okay.

Do you have the deposit?

Do you accept cash?

That's my favorite

kind of paperwork.

Then I have the deposit.

Thank you.

Can I offer you

something to drink?

I'll have what you're having.

Wine it is.

(BOTTLE CLANKS)

Let's see.

Darn it.

DERRICK: Here, let me

give you a hand.

- Oh no, that's okay.

- No, I got it.

(TENDER MUSIC PLAYING)

Thank you.

Thanks.

(CORK SQUEAKS)

All right, she... (HELEN GASPS)

f*ck!

- Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.

- sh*t.

Let me, let me

take care of that for you.

I'm so sorry.

Don't worry about it,

accidents happen.

Oh my God, it's on your jacket.

And all over your tie, too.

No, don't worry about it.

(SIGHS) Man.

Let me help you, take this,

okay yeah.

Just... Sorry.

I'll have it properly cleaned,

but in the meantime,

you can wear this.

No thanks, it's not really

my style, but thank you anyway.

But I'll take this, thank you.

Uh, I guess I better

start moving in, then.

Oh, yeah, of course.

Let me get you the keys.

Thank you so much.

I look forward to

being your tenant.

- Me too.

- Okay.

Well, have a good night.

(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

(SHOWER TRICKLING)

(SHOWER CONTINUES TRICKLING)

MICHAEL: Honey, I'm home.

Is there room for one more?

That was a good shower.

- Yeah, I guess it was.

- Yeah.

So how'd it go today, honey?

It went well.

Met a few duds at first,

but I think I found someone

who will be perfect

for our guest house.

Tell me about this person.

- Well, he's...

- He?

Yeah, he's a marketing

analyst specialist,

and dresses well, drives a

nice car, so stable income.

So, what's his name?

His name is Derrick Johnson.

Paid for the lease upfront.

I should've consulted

with you first, I'm sorry.

No, no, no, honey,

I trust your judgment.

If you have a good

feeling about him,

I have a good feeling

about this, too.

This mine?

Looks like it shrunk.

No, that's Derrick's.

I accidentally

spilled wine on it.

I said I'd clean it for him.

Wine, huh?

Get him drunk,

sweeten up the deal?

I'll just give it

back to him tomorrow.

MICHAEL:

He doesn't seem harmful.

No, no he doesn't.

Invite him over

tomorrow for breakfast,

so we can get to know

our new neighbor.

(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

(WOMAN MOANING)

(WOMAN CONTINUES MOANING)

WOMAN: Oh, yeah, woo!

Honey, is everything okay?

Everything's fine, honey.

I just thought

I heard something.

WOMAN: Oh my God,

oh, my God, oh, my God, oh!

Oh yeah, oh!

Well, at least he's active.

I'm gonna go over there

and tell him to keep it down.

No, you don't need

to do that, honey.

Go back to sleep.

We'll talk to him

in the morning.

You sure?

'Cause I can go over there

if it bothers you.

It's fine, really.

Why don't you come back to bed?

(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

If I didn't have this

meeting in a few hours,

we could have

a shouting match with you.

Show him who's boss.

Oh, Michael. Oh, please.

(MICHAEL GROANS SOFTLY)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Well, did you see if she

bought the lime soda this time?

'Cause I don't like mixing the

orange juice with the Perriers.

Yeah, it doesn't go well.

That was a good call.

It's just a waste.

DERRICK: Hey, Helen,

how are you?

- Hi.

- Hello.

- Michael?

- Derrick, right?

- Yes, please to meet you.

- As well.

- Join us.

- Thank you, I appreciate it.

Yeah, first of all,

welcome to our home.

Oh, thank you so much.

Helen's told me

some things about you.

- Oh, has she?

- Yes.

All good, I hope.

Yes, no doubt.

I admire and respect

your work ethic.

- Thank you, Derrick.

- Yeah.

Well, me and the missus couldn't help

but overhear your adventures last night.

Wow.

That's embarrassing.

I had no idea you guys

could hear me.

Hope I didn't

disturb you too much.

It won't happen again.

It's fine, really.

She's being modest.

What she, well, what we mean is,

it's okay to have company.

You're a man, you have needs.

Just keep it down a bit.

Understood.

Look, I have to

make it up to you guys.

No, that's not necessary.

No, I insist.

It's okay, Derrick.

You seem like a standup guy.

I'm sure you'll be mindful.

Absolutely.

It's settled.

Well, I have to go into work.

I'll be at the office

pretty late,

so if anything changes,

I will give you a call.

Pleasure meeting you again.

Drive safe, honey.

Hey, I'm sorry about that.

About what?

Last night's sounds?

Oh no, it's fine.

I don't want you

to feel restricted.

So, you like what you heard?

Excuse me?

The music I was playing.

Oh. (CHUCKLES)

Yeah, it was interesting.

I have a nice collection.

Maybe you could come over

and check it out one day.

Maybe I'll do that.

Oh well, look at the time.

I gotta get into the city,

try and beat this traffic.

Yeah, me too.

I gotta get to the office

and sign some paperwork

for this merger.

You work downtown?

Actually, by Grand Central.

I'm a couple blocks away

from there.

If you're not doing anything,

maybe I can join you for lunch.

I don't know about that.

It's just lunch, Helen.

Look, I'm sorry for

being so aggressive.

Maybe you just make me feel

more comfortable than I should.

No, it's fine.

And I will accept your offer.

Really?

Wow, that's great, okay.

Here's the address for my job.

Let's say two o'clock,

you meet me there.

Okay.

DERRICK: Great,

I'll see you then.

See you then.

(TRAFFIC RUMBLING)

Mrs. Eidelman, Florida is

still waiting on the approval.

I haven't received the fax yet.

Ma'am, it's right there

on your desk,

next to the red memo

that says sign me.

I'll take care of it right now.

STACEY: Hey, is everything okay?

I'm fine, thank you, Stacey.

Are you sure?

Look, I've been your

secretary for five years,

and if I don't know

when something is wrong,

then I'm not doing my job.

Okay, it's just that, well,

Michael and I have this guy

living in our guest house.

Oh, you found someone,

that's good.

So, is he crazy?

No, at least I don't

think he's crazy.

Well, is he cute?

He's a handsome man, yes.

Oh, look out now,

cougar in the building.

He's also Black.

Oh, you're gonna be

walking different now.

No, it's not like that.

I mean, yeah,

I find him attractive,

but I wouldn't

do that to Michael.

I just wish Michael had more

of an attitude, more like Derrick.

Wait, who's Derrick now?

Sorry, Derrick's our tenant.

Derrick, huh?

Is he single?

I don't know.

He hasn't mentioned

a girlfriend,

but he did have company

last night,

and Michael and I could hear it

all the way from the bedroom.

See, all you're doing is

making him sound even better.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Well, he did

invite me for lunch.

STACEY: Lunch, huh?

Yeah, he said it was his way

of making up for last night.

Well, it won't hurt just

to have lunch with him.

- You think?

- Yeah, sounds harmless to me.

Yeah, then I'll go

meet him for lunch.

You go meet that fine a*s man

you got living in your backyard.

(HELEN LAUGHS)

You don't think

it's wrong, right?

Helen, it's only wrong

if you make it wrong.

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

But if it feels right, then

it must be right then, right?

Thank you, Stacey.

Bring me back some

mozzarella sticks, thank you?

You got it.

(TENDER MUSIC PLAYING)

- Hey.

- Hi.

- How you doing?

- Well, how are you?

Good, good,

hope I didn't take too long.

I was swamped at the office.

No, not at all.

I haven't been waiting long.

Oh good, yeah.

Hey look, I got

something for you.

- How did you...

- How'd I what?

It's nothing. The company's

doing a Paris campaign,

so I had them send

these over to me.

But how did you know my size?

I know a size

seven when I see one.

Let's call it a gift for sole.

Here, let me get that for you.

I thought these would

be perfect for you.

Oh, they're gorgeous.

(TENDER MUSIC PLAYING)

DERRICK: Hey,

so I'm ready to eat.

Okay.

Okay.

(TRAFFIC RUMBLING)

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

Derrick, where are we?

Do you trust me?

Yeah, I trust you.

Why do these men keep staring?

Well, maybe you

shouldn't dress like that.

Dress like what?

I'm wearing a skirt

and a blouse.

Well, maybe you shouldn't

have worn that body.

(HELEN CHUCKLES)

So, what's good to eat here?

Haven't you ever had soul food?

I don't think so.

I mean, I've heard of it,

I just don't think

I've tried it.

Wow.

Well, allow me to

order for you, then.

Okay.

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

Man.

My Nana would lose it

if we didn't use a coaster.

She would smack any one of

us with a smacking spoon.

A smacking spoon?

Yeah, a smacking spoon.

That's a long wooden spoon that

was never used for cooking,

only smacking

people's hands with.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, she didn't

care who you were.

She would smack the hell

outta anybody's wrists

if you disrespected her.

She raised us well.

She sure did.

Yeah.

Wish you would've met her.

How are you enjoying your food?

It's delicious, especially

the collard greens.

Not like Nana's.

Oh, I bet.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

So you wanna dance?

Dance here, right now?

Mm-hmm.

I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

Oh, I don't know.

I haven't danced in a long time.

Okay then, you're overdue.

Come on.

(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

Um, I'm sorry,

I actually have to get going.

Thank you so much for lunch.

No problem.

So, how'd it go?

I'm sorry, what?

I asked you, how

did the lunch go?

You okay?

You know, I actually

have to get going.

But what about the

transfer file report?

Um, you can handle those

from here, right Stacey?

Yes, I can.

You sure you're okay?

Thanks.

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(GRAVEL CRUNCHING)

(CROW CAWING)

(DOOR CREAKS)

(HELEN CHUCKLES)

(DOOR CLICKS)

sh*t, what the hell am I doing?

(DOOR CREAKS)

(FOOTSTEPS TAPPING)

(CLOTHES RUSTLE)

I, I was just coming

to hang this up.

You know this is

trespassing, right?

I should've just waited

'til you got home, I'm sorry.

This was a bad idea.

Nothing's a bad idea

if you thought of it.

What?

It's only bad if

you want it to be.

I can't do it.

I can't.

But you want to.

Yeah, but Michael...

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(HELEN GASPS)

(HELEN GRUNTS)

(DERRICK SIGHING)

Is everything okay?

Sure.

I mean, I just

cheated on my husband,

but yeah, everything's fine.

Okay, good.

So what now?

Now, we can go at it again.

Just gotta give me about a half.

No, silly.

I mean, what now?

You live close.

I mean, you're in

our guest house.

I'm married, this is crazy.

Look, everything's

gonna be okay.

We can meet in the city,

or whenever your

husband's out of town.

Yeah, but I do love my husband.

You say it with such meaning.

(DERRICK CHUCKLES)

Really, stop it.

I have to be serious about this.

(HELEN SIGHS)

(DERRICK SIGHS)

So, I'll see you around

neighbor.

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

(HELEN SOBBING)

(OMINOUS MUSIC CONTINUES

PLAYING)

(MICROWAVE BEEPS AND WHIRS)

(INSECTS CHIRPING)

So I told Hildenburg

he needs to adjust

the fraction of the gross cost in

order to redeem his fiscal year.

Mm-hmm.

And then the unicorn president

asked for the Shire

leprechaun account.

Yeah.

Honey, your hair's on fire.

Right.

Hey.

You okay?

I'm sorry honey,

I'm just thinking about

a big meeting at work.

Okay, well,

don't think too hard.

I'll be home a little later.

(BELL TOLLS)

(SUSPENSEFUL

PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

So I was thinking, maybe we

should change the plants in here?

It's starting to smell like

old stale coffee in here.

What do you think?

Yeah, that's fine,

just no ficus.

What?

I love ficus plants.

Aloe, and jade, lily,

evergreen, fittonia, azalea.

That's fine, just make sure

to save the receipt

so we can write it off, okay?

Not a problem.

Oh, and you received a

message today, as well.

A message?

Yeah, some guy called and

said he left his phone at home,

but he said to call him

at this number.

Well, why didn't you...

What did he say?

You know, come to think of it,

he never left his name.

He said that you

would know who he was.

That'll be all, Stacey.

Oh, okay.

So you wanted me to leave?

My bad.

I'm just gonna go, and

look up those plants,

and okay, okay, I'm gone,

I'm gone, I'm gone.

(PHONE RINGS)

Hello?

DERRICK: Hey, it's me.

Well, thank goodness. I thought

you were avoiding my calls.

DERRICK: Me?

I would never do that.

Well, that's good to know.

DERRICK: Hey,

what are you doing right now?

I'm at work, why?

DERRICK: I'm going

to send a car for you.

- Wait, when?

- Now.

Now? I'm in

the middle of things.

I can't leave right now.

DERRICK: I thought

you were the boss.

Well, I am.

DERRICK: Okay then, the car

will be there shortly, bye.

Everything okay?

Yeah, I just need to

step out for a minute.

But remember, you have

a meeting today at three.

I'll be back by then.

(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

- (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

- (BOTH MOANING)

(HELEN CONTINUES MOANING)

(DERRICK GRUNTING)

(BOTH MOANING)

(BOTH PANTING)

Oh sh*t.

(BOTH PANTING)

Oh sh*t, what the f*ck was that?

Oh sh*t.

(BOTH GIGGLE)

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

- Oh, my God.

- What's up, baby?

Michael's on his way

to my office right now.

Why?

I'll explain later,

I'm so sorry, I have to go.

Honey, what are you doing here?

Well, I was in the area.

I thought I'd come by

and see you.

Is that a problem?

No, no, of course not.

I'm glad to see you.

Wow, I should try

to come by more often.

(HELEN GIGGLES)

Well, anyways, I just

wanted to come by,

see what you were up to,

and maybe take you to lunch.

Lunch.

Lunch, you know the meal you eat

after breakfast, before dinner?

Oh honey, I don't think I can.

I have a meeting at two,

and then I have sit in on

a conference call at 3:30.

Oh.

Okay, well my

little working girl,

I'll let you get back to it.

I wish I could.

Maybe dinner?

I don't think I'm

gonna have time.

I still have to get to my

meeting in New Brunswick.

Oh, okay.

Thank you so much for coming by.

I'm sorry, I wish

lunch could've worked.

Helen, honey?

Yeah?

I think you're

doing a great job.

Thank you, honey.

Let me know how

your meeting goes?

I will.

(SIGHS)

You're a bad girl

What?

Come on, you can see

I just got midday sex

all over your face.

You can?

Relax, there's nothing wrong

with adding a little

spice to your sex life.

You sure?

Yes, I'm sure

Michael enjoyed that.

Yeah, Michael, of course.

He does like to

get a bit adventurous.

I see.

Whatever happened to that guy

you were supposed

to have lunch with?

I never did it.

I'll be in my office

if you need anything.

(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

Is everything okay?

You haven't touched your food.

It's just that this morning

was such a close call.

I don't know if I

can keep doing this.

Doing what?

This, us.

Michael's a really good man.

What makes him a good man?

'Cause he works so hard?

Works so hard that he

doesn't have time for you,

or to start a family?

Yeah, I understand

what you're saying,

but he doesn't deserve this.

I mean, yeah we don't

see much of each other,

and the sex certainly isn't...

Like I do it.

Okay, Mr. Modesty.

Look, all I'm saying is this.

Let's just enjoy this meal,

and our time together,

and you can think about it.

I'll meet you back

at the house later.

I don't know about that.

Why, is Michael gonna be home?

No, he has to work late.

Well, that makes

a huge difference.

Well, don't get

any bright ideas.

I'm still trying to

quit you, mister.

You're not making it easy.

Okay.

I'll make it easier for you.

Oh, thank you so

much, I appreciate it.

Thank you so much.

Yeah, here you go,

take this as well.

- Thank you so much.

- Thank you.

All right, I'll see you later.

Okay.

(EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(KNOCKING)

(PHONE BUZZING)

Hello?

So you're coming back now?

Oh, that's great.

Okay, honey.

Well, I'll see you

when you get there.

I mean, here.

You know what I mean, I'm

just, I'm tired, honey.

Okay, see you soon.

- I have to go.

- Yeah, I know.

Maybe tomorrow?

Michael's always

gone on the weekends.

I could make you some lunch.

Show you how I throw down?

I'm looking forward to it.

(SIGHS)

(HELEN SIGHS)

Hey, honey.

How was your trip?

Oh, it was fine, but I don't

wanna think about that.

I'd rather delve into

some other business.

Not right now, honey.

I had a really busy

day, I'm exhausted.

Plus you have things

to do tomorrow, right?

Yeah.

Okay, goodnight, honey.

(MICHAEL SIGHS)

Good morning.

You're up early.

Well, you're up late.

What's all this, Thanksgiving

a few months early?

Ah, stop that.

It's not ready yet.

You want some breakfast?

Sure, that would be great.

So what time are

you heading out?

Where?

Well, what time do

you have to get ready?

MICHAEL: Ready for what?

For work, for your meetings.

Well, I was thinking

we don't spend enough time

together, so I rescheduled.

So you're not leaving town?

Nope, I'm staying home.

I'm gonna commit to

this husband title,

spend some time with my wife.

Well, I appreciate that,

but are you sure that's

gonna reflect well at work?

Yeah, yeah, it's fine.

They understood and were

cooperative about it.

You know, you really

should've told me first.

(MICHAEL SIGHS)

What do you mean?

You know, I thought

you'd be happy.

I am, it's just I would've

planned something for us today.

(PHONE BUZZING)

Why don't you pick it up?

I thought it'd be rude.

We're sitting down

for breakfast.

What does he want

to talk to you about?

I don't know, probably

about rent or something.

Oh, okay.

We get to spend

the day together.

That'll be great.

Yeah, I have a few things

I wanna get done around here.

Mainly, the garage needs

some spring cleaning.

Is that so?

Yeah, and a little alone time

with you wouldn't hurt either.

That sounds great.

Yeah, well, why don't

you finish up in here,

and I am gonna go grab

the rent from Derrick.

Oh, no, no, that's okay.

I'll grab it from him later.

It's fine, I can handle it.

I will be right back.

(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

So did you get the rent?

Sure did.

Cash, too.

That's good, then.

Yeah, he's a good guy.

I like him.

I invited him to

come eat with us.

You invited him

to dinner with us?

Yeah, is that a problem?

No, of course not.

Don't worry, honey.

You have me all weekend.

Just don't wanna be distant

to a person renting out

our space, though.

Now, if you excuse me,

I wanna go shower,

and really start my day.

(PHONE BEEPS)

Well, I never

thought of it that way.

Yeah, well advertisers

like to use hidden messages

in certain logos and symbols.

Take Wendy's for example,

the word mom is on her collar.

Well, I always thought it

was about the old guy, Dave.

No, no, not at all.

The hidden message is supposed

to trigger a sensation

- like you're getting a home cooked meal.

- Hmm.

Like your mom would make.

Right, well?

Speaking of good meals, wait

till you taste my wife's cooking.

Wow, honey, you have

outdone yourself.

You know, she's been slaving

over the stove all morning.

Oh yeah?

Must be because she's

so happy I'm home.

I'm a lucky guy.

Yes, you are.

Honey, can you pass the spinach?

Oh, it's not spinach, honey.

They're collard greens.

Huh, well, greens are greens.

(CHUCKLES)

Let's dig in.

Mm.

Not bad.

Got a little tang

to 'em, but I like it.

Wow, these are good.

Thank you.

I got the recipe

from the waitress.

Waitress?

What waitress?

The waitress in the cafe, honey,

by the office?

Oh, okay.

Well, tell her I said thank you.

Wow, everything's delicious.

I wanna thank you guys

for inviting me over.

I don't know the last time I

had a good home cooked meal.

Oh, Derrick, it's no problem.

You're like family now,

except when you're

late with the rent.

(ALL LAUGHING)

But, mi casa es su casa.

Just don't fool around

with my wife.

(MICHAEL CHUCKLES)

Come on, I'm playing.

Besides, Derrick, you must

be a ladies man, am I right?

I guess.

Yeah, you are.

You know, I was a bit of

a playboy myself back in my day.

I was, then I met Helen,

and left that life behind me.

Yeah, maybe one day

I'll meet a good woman.

Actually, I may already have.

Oh, good for you. Right, honey?

Yeah, yeah it is.

Well, maybe we can

double date sometime

if it gets serious.

Yeah, we'll see about that.

Well look, everything

was delicious, wonderful.

Thank you guys for

having me over.

I'mma head back home

and finish up some things.

Thank you again.

Appreciate it.

Goodnight.

That's a good guy right there.

You know, straightedge,

I like that.

Yeah, he is.

You know, the food was great.

Thank you, honey.

I'm gonna go get

into the bedroom.

(SIGHS)

(WOMAN MOANING)

WOMAN: Ooh, daddy!

Yes, daddy, do it!

Right there, baby.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

Stop it already!

What's going on, honey?

Nothing, I'm sorry, sweetie.

I think I was just

having a nightmare.

Go back to sleep.

(WOMAN MOANING)

Sounds like Derrick has company.

Could be that lucky lady.

Yeah, I guess.

You wanna help me

show him who's boss

in the orgasm department?

Not right now, sweetie.

I'm kinda shaken up

from the nightmare.

I'm gonna try to get some sleep.

Okay, then.

Goodnight, sweetheart.

WOMAN: Oh, yes, oh, oh!

(WOMAN MOANING)

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Honey?

I know I said the whole weekend,

but I have to go into

the office for a few

to prepare some proposals

for this power lunch

meeting tomorrow.

It's fine, I understand.

Really?

Thanks, honey, hey.

When this is all over, it's

gonna all be worth it, trust me.

Okay, have a good day.

(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, hey.

Everything okay?

Oh, what the hell do

you think you're doing?

Hey, hey, hey.

I'm not enough for you, huh?

You gotta go looking

somewhere else?

Calm down!

What are you talking about?

You're exactly

what I'm talking about!

I hate you!

Listen.

I hate you, because I love you.

I don't know how to handle that.

How do you expect me to feel

the same way and you're married?

(SIGHING)

I don't know.

But I need you to

love me right now.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

- (HELEN MOANING)

- (DERRICK GRUNTING)

Yes, right there!

(BOTH MOANING)

(HELEN MOANING)

Holy sh*t.

(DERRICK GRUNTS)

(HELEN MOANING)

So you feel better?

Feel better?

This wasn't some Dr. d*ck visit.

I don't even know if

you used protection

with that chick last night.

You starting to sound

a little bit jealous.

- Well, maybe I am.

- Yeah?

What about me?

You don't think I'm jealous

that Michael has you

to his self?

This isn't fair.

Look, you can't have me

and Michael, and be comfortable.

I'm human too.

I was looking

forward to yesterday.

I didn't think Michael was

gonna stay the entire day.

Exactly.

I gotta play by your rules,

and see you when

the time is right.

Yeah.

Look, I'm not the married one,

so I can see whoever I want.

Yeah, you're right.

Where you going?

I'm leaving.

Who are you mad at?

I don't even know anymore.

(DOOR CREAKS)

MICHAEL: Helen.

Honey.

You're late, again.

You never gave me

a time or confirmed.

Oh, we've been

married for five years,

I think you can figure it out.

You're drunk, maybe you need...

I need to?

I don't need to do anything.

I'm the f*cking CEO of

the company that you work for,

so I think I know

what I'm doing.

So you're just gonna

throw that in my face?

Oh big man wants to talk now.

I'm sorry.

I know you're under a lot

of pressure, but so am I.

Why are you never there

for me when I need you?

I am, but you

have to let me know.

You should know this already.

You should know me already.

I mean, who have you been

married to the last five years?

Where is all this coming from?

HELEN: All what coming from?

This sudden outburst.

Oh, you should already know.

I mean, we hardly ever

spend time together

and when we do,

it is just monotonous.

I'm not happy anymore.

What do you mean?

With

us.

Why don't we have kids yet?

Why aren't we more

into each other?

You know I wanna start a family,

but we're just too busy.

We have to establish ourselves.

Establish ourselves?

How can we establish ourselves

if we haven't even

established ourselves?

Wait, what?

See?

You don't know me

like you think you do.

You can sleep

on the couch tonight.

But my issue isn't

with the Walters tones,

it's just that I don't

like being underhanded.

I know, honey.

You have your father's temper.

Thanks Mom,

that's a nice way of putting it.

So, what's going on

with you and Michael?

Not good.

He's leaving town

for a couple days.

Well look, sometimes

couples have problems,

and sometimes

you need some space

to reflect on those problems.

Yeah, I understand that,

but what if that's

not the point?

You think your father

and I always got along?

He's the provider

for the family.

He was a ruthless businessman,

and he was

a cold-hearted person.

Cared about what he could

get, what he could keep.

His affairs became

his obsession,

and sometimes I got caught

in the aftermath of it.

Mom, what are you saying?

I am saying that

you're the spitting image

of your father,

down to his stubborn ways,

and I don't want that to

consume your judgment,

and I don't want Michael to get

caught in the ripples of it.

What if I don't feel it anymore?

Honey, honey, you never

stop loving someone,

feeling anything for them,

unless you never felt it

to begin with.

Yeah, you're probably right.

Okay, Mom.

You know, I'll call you

sometime during the week.

Hello.

Hey.

I was just thinking about you.

Yeah, what about?

I was thinking we should

do something tomorrow.

Something like what,

another plan that you'll

cancel out on me,

and do with Michael?

He's out of town

for the next few days.

Guess he had a

business engagement.

Maybe, but I wanna

spend some time with you.

See who you really are.

I don't even know about your

dreams, your hopes, your goals.

So now you wanna know about me?

Yes, Derrick.

I feel completely different.

It's...

It's indescribable, really.

I mean, I haven't felt something

like this in a long time.

I mean, you give me life.

Your sex gives me

energy, and ugh,

there's a mystery

about you that,

that just makes me wanna

see what else is possible.

So what do you have in mind?

(SHOWER TRICKLING)

(HELEN MOANING)

(HELEN CONTINUES MOANING)

Oh, f*ck!

(PANTING)

(PANTING)

(WOMAN MOANING)

WOMAN: Oh baby, yes.

Yes, yes, daddy, g*dd*mn.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

I can't take it anymore!

Yo, who the f*ck is this b*tch?

Get this sl*t out of here!

Helen, what the hell

are you doing?

Relax, relax.

Helen, what the hell

are you doing?

What am I doing?

I'm tired of hearing you

with all these women,

then coming back to me.

Why are you even with me

if you're gonna f*ck

all these other women?

Helen, you're married.

Did you forget that?

What'd you think, you got me

and Michael and I'd be loyal?

No, but I don't understand

why you have to do this

in front of me.

Look, I pay rent here,

I can do whatever I want.

I'm not married.

I can f*ck whoever I want.

If you don't like it,

go back to Michael.

Your husband.

What if I can change that?

Okay, fine.

Yeah, this is fine.

(GASPS)

MICHAEL: How long?

HELEN: What do you mean?

How long has this been going on?

- I...

- I heard everything.

Michael, please.

I get it now.

It all makes sense.

HELEN: So where's Michael?

Ms. Clarkson, Mr.

Eidelman has given me

power of attorney over all

necessary legal proceedings.

(SIGHS)

So, this is being filed under

irreconcilable differences?

Helen, I wish

it was that simple,

but with this clause

and new revisions, I...

What are you talking about?

Well, the revisions you

signed on and approved,

although I don't know

why you did,

knowing the results of it all.

What new revisions?

Well, the 51% shares in the

company are put in the clause

and forfeited to your husband

if there's proof of infidelity.

Wait, 51%?

I didn't sign off on this.

Well, it's your

signature right there.

Oh, my God,

that is my signature.

Look, you still

have your inheritance.

Let's just see

what can be salvaged.

Now Ms. Clarkson,

if you just sign here

relinquishing your

shares of the company,

and sign here,

that is for collecting

on liquidation.

The liquidation?

Yes, according to

Michael's wishes,

he wants no part of the

company and wants to...

Wait, he said what?

He doesn't want the company,

after he spent all that time

talking about helping me run it?

I'm just carrying out

Mr. Eidelman's request.

As I was saying, he wants

no part of the company,

and wants to sell his shares

and has agreed to give

you 10% off the sale.

This is why he didn't

wanna come here today.

f*cking coward!

Helen, please.

Yes, Ms. Clarkson.

Please, let's be civilized.

So try to hang on to whatever

dignity you have, and let's proceed.

Okay.

Now Michael has also

agreed to give you the house,

and the shares that you two

bought together years ago,

so if you just sign here,

we can get those shares

overturned to you immediately.

You still have your father's

estates, and inheritance.

Yes, truth be told, I didn't really

wanna run this company anyway.

Well then, it should be

more of a relief for you.

Oh, and Mr. Eidelman

also instructed me

to give you this letter.

A letter?

Yes, it's instructed that

you read that personally.

Not

here.

What is it gonna

explode when I open it?

(LAWYER CHUCKLES)

No, it's just

Mr. Eidelman's request.

(LAWYER CHUCKLES)

MICHAEL: Dear Helen,

being married to you

these past few years has

taught me so much about myself.

I learned that I can be

a successful businessman,

a perfect husband,

and a great lover,

but that meant nothing to you.

Not even now.

You're a sweet girl, Helen,

but you're just

like your father.

You can't be trusted.

I guess the apple doesn't

fall far from the tree.

Maybe in another life,

we'll meet again,

but until then,

take care of yourself.

Love, Michael.

Hi, I'm here to

see Derrick Johnson?

- Sure, can I have some ID?

- Yeah.

Good afternoon,

how may I assist you?

Looking for Derrick Johnson.

Actually, he's expecting me.

Security, I need assistance.

Why the hell haven't

you returned...

I'm sorry, I'm looking

for Derrick's office.

I am Derrick, this is my office.

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

No, I'm looking

for Derrick Johnson?

Well, yeah, you found him,

that's me. That's my name.

Hi, I'm Derrick Johnson.

Hi.

Ha, that's all my information

except that cellphone.

Hm, that's very weird.

It's not mine.

No, something tells me

you're the actual Derrick.

(OMINOUS MUSIC

CONTINUES PLAYING)

What the hell is going on?

(PHONE BEEPS)

(AUTOMATED VOICE SPEAKING)

We're sorry, you've reached a number

that has been disconnected

or is no longer in...

(RING CLATTERS)

Well, well, well.

If it isn't the

star of the show.

See it didn't take you too long

to wrap things up with wifey.

Ex-wife now.

sh*t, took two long years,

but we finally did it, brother.

Playing a little close,

that's the thing.

You need to check

in with Stacey.

You know, she thinks you

guys are f*cking at lunch.

You always tell me

what the f*ck to do.

Stop telling me

what the f*ck to do.

Yeah, well?

Wait till you taste

my wife's cooking.

Everything went according

to plan, as expected.

I knew Helen wasn't capable of

earning her father's company.

She fell for everything

I came up with.

What's your full name?

I'm Derrick Johnson.

And?

And I'm an advisory,

(STUTTERS) mechanical...

Advisory marketing

analytical specialist.

So, tell me a little

about yourself.

I'm an advisory marketing

analytical specialist.

How you gonna get her to sign all this

prenup sh*t you talking about, anyway?

Just leave that up to me.

Look, I've been your

secretary for five years

and if I don't know

when something is wrong,

then I'm not doing my job.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm the one who got

the office lobby,

because I knew

no one's ever there.

And you didn't even know

she wore a size seven.

But how did you know my size?

I know a size seven

when I see one.

Hold on, hold on, hold on,

you're not gonna get

the credit for everything.

Them prostit*tes I called?

That's what sealed the deal.

That was a nice finishing touch.

So what you want me

to do to you, baby?

Nothing, nothing.

What I want you to do is

scream as loud as you can,

like I'm f*cking

the sh*t outta you.

Wait, seriously?

Yeah, seriously.

- Oh f*ck me, f*ck me.

- Yeah, louder.

(WOMAN MOANING)

- f*ck me, ah!

- There you go.

I knew that b*tch'd get jealous when

she thought I was f*cking them hoes.

Yeah, it's showtime.

Think about how Dad

put his heart and soul

into that company, our company.

We can't let him down.

STACEY: Well, the plan

almost didn't work

when you tried to k*ll us.

n*gga!

Oh, that the proper way

to greet your brother?

What the f*ck is up?

Man, yeah what's up?

Keep knocking like that,

man, what's up bro?

Come in.

Who the f*ck is this?

- She's not for you. (LAUGHS)

- All right.

You want me to pose

as a rich businessman,

and f*ck your wife?

Yeah.

(PHONE RINGS)

Honey.

HELEN: Hello?

Oh honey, hi.

How are you holding up?

I'm good.

Mom?

What happened between

Dad and Lloyd Thompson?

Losing yourself in your career

can bring out the ugly in a person.

I should know, a colleague,

Lloyd Thompson

was gunning for the

same position I wanted.

Despite the fact that he had

five kids, I wanted the power.

Did what I had to do.

(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)

KATHY:

It's been such a long time

since I've heard that name,

I can't say that I, um,

remember.

Ah man, I just wish he was

still here to see us.

Our father, Lloyd Thompson.

May his family legacy

live on forever.

Yeah, you know, Dad always

considered you his son,

even though you were adopted,

and things were rough

around the edges

in the beginning, he loved you.

So do I, man.

Love you too, man.

Y'all go get a room.

When this is all over,

it's gonna all be

worth it, trust me.

Prank Entertainment

Turn the beat up

Ah shh

Shh, quiet b*tch

I've been telling girls

fourth grade in Mr. Noel's

We leave this bathroom

look, no kissing and tellin'

They still bragging

to they friends

Girl, I done

been with a felon

Who b*tch

Killa Cam

At least keep it

down with the yelling

I ain't gotta sell

another record

Look, I'm set up for life

If I'm in the club I'm at

the bar all next to your wife

That's the reason

n*gg*s gonna hate me

The rest of they life

Stabbed her in the stomach,

man she had sex with a knife

Things been rolling my way

So they think that

I'm fixing the dice

Sleeping with my chains on

Igloo I live in my ice

If you ain't my family, only

thing I could give you advice

The world's one big piece

of n*gga, go get you a slice

Baby turned around

and threw her a*s

Right in front of my face

Nah it ain't my birthday

But asked if I

wanted some cake

Cake, cake

Nah it ain't my birthday

But asked if I

wanted some cake

Time to hit the club

for some business

Lookin' all around seeing

a*s and some t*tties

Getting real tipsy

yeah I'm litty

So litty

Feel like I own this city

About to hit the clubs

for some business

Lookin' all around seeing

a*s and them t*tties

Feeling real tipsy and litty

Shh

Feeling like I own this city

Ever been to the cashier

you wasn't surprised

The card's been declined sir

You fam, why you

talkin' so loud

Tell him try again

It don't work, you

starting to pout

So you start to drinking

Hey yo, you wanna get

punched in your mouth

Wanna show decor

Raise your glass,

have a toast with it

Private elevator, wait before

you seeing ghosts with it

Money, cars, cribs

No fib, I'm both

coasts with it

I don't wait for sh*t, B

Nah man, I go get it

I don't deal with imposters

Please pardon my posture

Wrists on Liberace

Mob tie, Sinatra

When I'm on a date

I know, lobster

When she in my bedroom

High notes, opera

Cranberry, Chanel, ooh

No need for vodka

Her man thinks she

disappear forever, Hoffa

You know me nada,

keep talking yada

I've been selling off

white cards, Prada

Time to hit the club

for some business

Looking all around seeing

a*s and them t*tties

t*tties

Feeling real tipsy

getting litty

Feels like I own this city

Like I own it