05x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

[honking]

[Cuban music playing]

Come on, guys. Don't be like that.

[beep]

Hey, they contacted us.

At the very last f*cking minute.

Global hospital corporations

waste no time charging people
for their lousy treatment.

But when they need to pay...

[chuckles]

...these f*ck always wait
until the very last moment.

They didn't come through
with the ransom.

[ominous music]

Instead we got this.

Move. Hey.

Isn't that for like downtime,
that icon down there?

How young are you really?

You don't know this guy, D-time?

Is he like a rival?

Not a rival, the end of our days.

f*cking White rat! White rat!

White c*ck-sucking rat!

[pants]

We worked two months on this.
Two months!

Generation K Trojan is unstoppable.

That's what you said to me. Right?

We need to get everyone together
and put a bounty on his head.

This guy has f*cked up
everyone's businesses.

It's either him or us.

I'm closing down my crew here.

[honking]

[birds chirping]

So I ask. Are you guys hiring?

[dramatic music]

POLICE STATION

This is a joke, but I don't get
what the joke really is.

Who gave you that uniform?

You knew that we would have
a new trainee starting today.

I know, we have had to downsize -

but we'll get financial support
for the trainee's salary.

Is this really official?

Don't you talk to each other
about anything at home?

[intriguing music]

[beep]

- What the hell?
- I'm now a police officer.

No way!
Why didn't you tell me about this?

How is this possible?

- I take care of the children and...
- So do I!

You've been studying at the academy.

Congratulations, Nurmi.
You're now senior to somebody.

Ridiculous. Boss's husband is
an ex-NHL star, not an officer.

Toni wasn't drafted for NHL.
He had injuries when he was young.

A busted knee.

- I'm already here!
- I'm not having it!

He stayed in Finland
to play in the Tappara team -

but he spent most of his time
in surgery for his leg.

When his career in ice hockey
looked dim -

he studied in Tampere's Police Academy.

His knee got better. Toni became
the best scorer of the league -

and got into the NHL easily.

He went on to become one of the most
successful Finns in the NHL.

His Police Academy degree
was only missing a traineeship.

Our children are constantly in
danger! I want to protect them.

- You're not an officer!
- I am!

Officers don't only
protect their own children!

Who then protects them?

- Close the door now. Close it!
- Is that an order?

Yes! No! This is! Get out!

- Hi! I'm Toni. Toni Kajanne.
- Hi Toni.

What do you have going on here?

Nothing as exciting
as your new traineeship.

[intriguing music]

Less than a minute to go.

Oh...

Sorry that I have to do this during
work hours. This is happening now.

If there's no better offer,
this is looking mighty fine.

LAST MOMENTS

Yes! We got these, we got these!

District Court Secretary sends reports -

on the inconsistencies
in pre-trial investigation.

- And what do I have to do?
- We often have backlog.

When you start checking them,
you need to contact colleagues.

Some have already retired
and some are even dead.

Which case is this one?

Which case? These are cases
from the past three years.

[soft music]

These all are great but Venla, yours is...

Venla has always loved drawing.

Sure but this is art.
I can see everything here.

Maybe we don't yet know
everything about Down syndrome.

- What is this red sticker?
- It indicates that it's been sold.

Leena and I bought it.

- Can't we take this home with us?
- Venla can paint another one.

Now we're rehearsing
our play in the club.

I don't have the time. It's your own fault.

You shouldn't have come late
to the exhibition opening.

- We were too busy arguing.
- Toni!

We have almost all the money
needed for the trip to Helsinki.

Venla has been to Helsinki but not
in the amusement park or in a hotel.

Not many children in the club have.

- Invite us over for dinner.
- Venla...

I suppose we can make that happen.

Yes, I'm picking them up.

I also live in Ivalo.

In cash, you put that there too.

Right. I'll be half an hour.

Insert sum and press OK

[beep]

[babbling]

[beep]

Leena is amazing.

When Klaus was studying in Germany,

Leena lived with him, like she does now.

- So Leena is Klaus' sister?
- His little sister.

Their dad was German

and their Mum was Finnish, from Ivalo.

Do you remember when you told us

that you weren't going to
take part in any stupid club?

All lies.

Yes. Think about it.
You wouldn't have met Leena at all.

You know, Mum, that Toni
came to work with you today.

Did you already know about it?

There's more crime,
everyone is committing crimes.

They don't want Finland's
most famous officer to arrest them.

[reggae music playing on the radio]

You have reached your destination.

Come in.

We are Poison.

Hey!

Alvar, you made it.
This place is hard to find.

GPS helps but still.

What is this?

Well, it's a m*rder, a brutal one.

And you, Alvar, are
the only suspect for the crime.

I don't know him.
No one even knows I came here.

When the police open up
this guy's online auction site,

when they check his phone,
who do you think they'll find?

We have been watching you, Alvar.

No relatives, not one alive.

No girlfriend, no ex-girlfriends.

No friends outside of net. Jesus, Alvar!

But why me?
Why have you been watching me?

It's nothing personal.
It's the place where you work.

And it's hard to get a loner
like you to really cooperate.

But then you, bless you,

decided to buy a set of
antique knives from this guy.

And then you came to collect them.

Done.

My colleague here just erased
your transaction

from the auction site.

It's like this old fart
never sold any knives.

So no one bought them.

Your one phone call with him.

It's also gone.

See? We will take care of you.

The police will never find you.

Unless we return all the erased
information available to them.

You'll just have to do exactly
what we tell you

and you'll be fine.

[ominous music]

Just hold this for a sec.

- Hold it.
- Take it.

And become part of something bigger.

All it takes is a big, fat fingerprint.

And then we add some DNA.

This one we'll keep for extra insurance.

For the rest,
thank you for shopping with us.

Who are you people?

You're part of the team now, Alvar.

In a couple of days, we will tell you

what we want you to do.

Let's go.

I thought that if everything goes well -

this might turn out to be a nice surprise.

Bun started nursery
and you told me to find a real job.

You knew that I studied to be
an officer. We joked about it.

Don't the studies ever expire?

I had to redo a couple of courses
but it was easy, distance learning.

First aid course and a couple of
others had to be done in person.

So in early autumn when you said
you were coaching juniors?

Swedish listening course
and equality workshop.

So you lied to me!

I was afraid that you would say no.
And I was so sure about this.

[baby crying]

[ominous music]

[moans]

This is all my fault.

Or the fault of everything
that has happened to us.

You have the wrong idea
of what police work is like.

You'll grow tired of it and quit.

I understand that at the station
you're my boss during daytime.

Why the hell would I want
to be your boss? I don't.

[baby crying]

Sleep there! Bloody hell.

[suspenseful music]

Bun, let's put your overalls on.

Should we take my car?

Hey... Do you want to share a ride?

- I'm taking Bun to nursery.
- Let's take him there together.

No, I'll do it.

[sad music]

POLICE STATION

- You need to be going to work.
- I'm just on my way.

Hey, act normal.

And don't be late.

We can replace you, Alvar.

Hey, it's a small price to pay
for your freedom.

Upload this at your work. Huh?

Today?

We'll tell you when.

[ominous music]

[wolf howling]

Tell me, please.
What the f*ck is Vasili Naked?

Ori told us to choose some code names.

We wanted them to be Russian saints.

Protecting Mother Russia.

So Vasily Naked was a saint.

Patron saint of Moskva.

He was a fool for Christ.

A fool for Christ.

He pretended to be a madman

so he could tell the truth to people.

He walked around Moskva
completely naked,

holding a handkerchief in his hand.

When some women laughed at him,

they went blind until Vasili forgave them.

Still, I don't understand.
Your real name is Vasili.

How do you know that?

Because I know Ori from way back.

And I know her brother's name is Vasili.

And you are her brother. Right?

So, if your real actual name is Vasili,

then your code name
is just basically Naked.

And you, Gregoris Illuminator.

I bet your real name is Gregoris.

It's Grigori.

Just shut up now.

So tell me, what did this
Gregoris the Illuminator do?

What did he illuminate?
Vasili's handkerchief?

Or Vasili's naked, frostbitten d*ck?

Boys, what are you talking about?

How Vasili and Grigori here
missed some important classes

when they took their FSB training.

And what classes are those?

Coming up with
good code names classes.

- Rest in peace.
- Darling, don't put them there.

There must be a vase somewhere.

I told Reino many times over

that Toni and I can help with the snow, -

to get it off the roof.
But no. Can't be helped.

His house isn't so tall.

You're right, it's not so tall
but Reino hit his head.

Quite badly.
There's some swelling in his brain.

The doctors want to keep him in a state -

where his brain can rest
and there's nothing extra going on.

Not even breathing.

That's why
they're keeping him unconscious.

- On purpose.
- Yes, on purpose.

- How long will he be like that?
- Maybe three weeks.

Older people
take more time to get better.

But the prognosis is good.

Do you think he can hear us?

I don't think he can.

So why are we here?

You wanted to come along.

I had to because
I might become a doctor.

Why did you come?

Reino doesn't have a family.

And you no longer have a dad.

Nor a mum.

You're right.

[sad music]

Not a week has gone by in fifteen years -

that we haven't seen each other
with Reino many times.

That's why it's important to see him
even though he's unconscious.

Our people in Helsinki are all set.

So now we are only waiting
for the team in Vaasa.

As soon as they are done,
we can proceed here.

Shouldn't someone be following
this Alvar guy?

Maybe one of us.

We are tracking his car.

It's standing right in front of his house

and he hasn't called anyone.

And if he tries to contact the police,

I will disconnect the call.

You don't even need a keyboard for that?

For the moment,
Alvar is crawling back and forth

the online auction.

Probably wants to make sure
that no one can see the mess.

And you can see all that?

As clearly as I see

your vodka-swollen
neo-nationalistic smelly face.

[intense music]

Grigori, stop!

You too. We're in this together.

[fork clinking]

I thought Belgians were nice people.

Are you nice?

I am not

and personally I don't give
a rat's f*ck about Belgium.

But I care for this crew
and I'm happy to be a member.

So yes, Grigori. I can see all that.

There's an implant
core I-15 processor in my skull

with DFS wi-fi.

And all that is connected
with the retina of my left eye.

For simple commands
I need no keyboard.

For more complex commands
and writing code,

and transferring bigger chunks of data,

I need to use external
interfaces like keyboard.

And all this I offer to Poison to use

as Poison sees fit.

To your plan, Vaga.

My plan is to make a shitload of money.

No security threats
known in the address.

Aikio copies. We'll take a look.

Riekkokuja 2. A local rental estate.

Builders, lumberjacks on a job.
Whoever lives there now.

A neighbour reported a nasty argument.

[siren wailing]

- There's no need to be tense.
- I'm not tense.

Non-stop f*cking.

Drunks respect the police.
Just watch how I handle this.

- Police!
- Help me!

You're both going to get axed!

- I'll deal with this.
- First your wee-wee is going kaput!

Put the axe down.

f*ck off, you pussies.

I don't like to repeat myself.

[intriguing music]

My last thought was that Toni
was going to break a record again.

I thought he would die a hero.

Dead after one day on the job.

Then the big man comes
towards us and shouts:

"Toni Kajanne,
what the f*ck are you doing here?"

And puts the axe down.

He says that we can arrest him

but only if Toni does it -

and only if he can get Toni's autograph.

Toni answers him:
"Of course, but only at the station."

The big guy is in the cell now.

Are we having a briefing?

It's getting to know its surroundings.

These are connected
to the station's intranet.

They talk to each other
about where they should go.

Do we need so many of them?

The cleaner will do the floors
and the toilets once a week.

Could we put Toni...

Trainee Kajanne.
Why was he with you yesterday?

We are really understaffed.
And it's part of his traineeship.

- If there's no proper investigation...
- There isn't.

Then he can patrol.

No, I'll find him a proper investigation.

I was just checking -

if you might have something
in child protective services -

or something that might require
more attention from us.

Yes.

You've told me not to be on the phone.

Bunny, Mum's coming soon.
It's work. You go ahead.

Right then.

We have a new trainee.

I'm trying to find him
something risk-free to do.

Something lighter with less risks.
Something that suits him.

[dial tone]

- Hey, welcome.
- Thank you.

- Hello again.
- You found it.

- Sure.
- Hey, Santeri.

Thank you, it was really good.

The club members
were interested in the dragon -

but we ended up
writing the story ourselves.

That's nice.

All the city people were ready
to sacrifice the prince.

Oh, the prince?

First, it was a princess
but this is a modern fairytale.

I suggested that our play
could have a happy ending.

That sounds nice.

Don't you get internet?

Venla, hey, Bunny. No phones
on the table. You know that.

- We don't have internet.
- What? So near to the centre?

No, we've constructed
a simple Planck cage.

All the wires are hidden in the trees
and bushes outside the house.

It blocks electromagnetic traffic
almost completely.

- Why?
- Nowadays, you read everywhere -

how we have to protect household
appliances and update them, -

get new anti-virus software.

Or that your money
and even your identity is in danger.

You should treat it like a vampire.

Right? You should never
invite a vampire into your home.

- A vampire?
- Yes, a vampire.

We're talking about
a lifeless being that is immortal

and preys on people.

Isn't it then a vampire or the internet?

How about your work? You have
a hat shop and you a cobbler shop.

You must have mobile phones.

We have a landline at work.
I share it with Leena.

We pay the bills at the kiosk.

I do the club's email
on the library computer.

Oh?

But where's my painting?

- I was also wondering about it.
- It's somewhere else.

- In your hat shop?
- Yes.

No.

In a safe place, darling,
where it takes pride of place.

[dreadful music]

We'll move the man
as soon as we can get a ride.

- Have photos been taken?
- I took them from every angle.

Do you know him?

- Did you already go up to the house?
- Not yet.

The dead man has been packed off.
You should be proud.

Be careful.

Trainee Kajanne handled
his first body excellently.

No, don't! Don't come any closer.
This is already a mess.

I'll ask the lab
to go through this whole place.

Pertti Lakkala had a one-man
removal company for years.

- Esko used to help him out.
- I remember.

Pera the Removal Man.

There's a couple of rooms
full of homeless junk.

- He was a nice man.
- So he was.

So nice that someone wanted to
stab him multiple times in the back.

Maybe the m*rder*r
wanted to send a message.

What? It's a concept,
stabbing someone in the back.

You should know.

[intriguing music]

You took your time.

We're supposed to be tourists
on a skiing holiday.

So play your part.

Thank you very much.

- Hey there.
- Hey. Could I have a word?

- Of course.
- Come here.

This is pretty serious.
It's a theft, after all.

Maybe we should still
look for the money?

I recommend that you report
this to the police right away.

- I can help you. We can do it now.
- Oh dear.

- We'll find the money.
- Let's hope so.

Hey, phony Belgian strolo.

You want to arm wrestle a real man?

Please, I'm watching football.

What's wrong with you people?

Gentlemen, take a good look
at your passports.

You can check your own age there.

We have ten passports.

It doesn't mean you're supposed
to act like ten-year-olds.

Even a hundred passports don't change

that you're too f*cking brain-dead.

Our men in Vaasa, they're ready now.

[suspenseful music]

CHILE CHARMS WITH VERSATILITY

f*ck!

Hello, Alvar.

I've been to Chile many times.

I can tell you all about it

but first we have some work to do.

I need to see your face.
Where did you go?

I'm here.

Tomorrow is the big day.

[pants]

How are our systems working?

Well, couldn't be better.

- Is everything alright?
- Sure.

I'm clueless about them.
It's good that someone isn't.

[sad music]

LIGHTS ON IN THE WHOLE NATION

[beep]

WELCOME, ALVAR!

[intense music]