01x08 - Beginson

[bunniefuu]

Chin-chin!
I'd like to make a toast.

To Benson! In honor of
his six-year anniversary

as park manager!

[all cheering]

Aw, come on. Thank you.

I can't believe this place
feels like home

when it all started out as
a temporary groundskeeper gig.

-Groundskeeper?
-You weren't always manager?

Hey, I had to start somewhere.

It all began
when I was out on tour

with Hair to the Throne.

[upbeat rock music playing]

-[music ends]
-Thank you, city!

Mate, you rocked
the mountain top!

Hey, look... fans.

Don't worry, guys.
I'll handle this.

Get lost! We need to focus

on the only thing
that matters to a band.

Musicianship.

What the...

[truck horn blares past]

Guys, it's really just about
maximizing efficiency.

If we go to bed early,
floss regularly,

exercise three times a week

and do an annual
colonoscopy...

Benson, stop! Efficiency is
not rock and roll!

Yeah, and I ain't flossin'!

But your mouth
is your instrument.

Guys, I just want this band
to be the best it can be.

That's why I saved
my best idea for last.


[tires screech]

[grunts]

Wait! You can't do
the big drum solo without me!

It's not your problem.

Now, prepare to get
coal rolled.

-Coal what?
-[engine turns over]

-[coughs]
-[tires screech]

-[Benson sighs]
-[footsteps approaching]

Hey! You can't shotgun
a soda in here!

Only I can shotgun
a soda in here.

I wasn't... [sighs]

Early morning band practice
is a good idea. Hmm?

They need me.
They'll be back soon enough.

[watch beeping]

Welp, time to get
my practice in.

Good show!

Uh, thank you?

Oh, and you've tidied up
your spot so well!

Are you planning
on staying long?

Uh, I don't know.

I'm kinda just waiting
for some people.

May I perhaps
offer an option?

If you work at the park,
it's free room and board.

Working at a park doesn't
sound very "rock n' roll."

But we have plenty
of rocks

and a golf cart
for the rolling part.

I just it's just temporary

until my band
comes back anyway.

Splendid! Here are
your coworkers.

-This is Skips.
-Mmm-hmm.

This is Muscle Man.

-And that is Hi Five Ghost.
-Nice to meet you.

Wow, you're really good
at that.

I don't mean to brag,

but I do have
a volleyball scholarship.

Well, I'm impressed.

You know who else
is impressed?

[grunts] My mom!

[laughs, grunts]

There's one more person
to meet.

Uh, does anyone know
where Talks is?

[all groan]

I'll just use
the walkie talkie.

-Hello? Talks?
-Hey! Why are you yelling?

Imagine I knew where
my walkie talkie was

and I was listening.
You'd have blown my ear out!

Oh, I'm sorry, I--

Ah, I'm just bustin'
your chops, Pops.

Hey, who's the new guy?

-Hi, I'm Benson, I--
-Ben-so long

since you've seen
a barber? [laughs]

Just bustin' your chops.
Muscle Man!

Still jugglin' ba*ls,
I see, huh? Chop bustin'!

Skips!

Don't worry.
I ain't bustin' anybody

who's buffer
than me's chops.

Anyway, to what do we owe
the pleasure of this gathering?

Well, I have a list
of tasks that-- Oh!

I told you, Pops.
Lists give me migraines.

That's why I drew
the tasks instead.

Well, how thoughtful!

We'll take care
of it all, then!

-Oh, but--
-Get out of here, all right?

Go on. Keep going. [laughs]

Ah, I thought he'd never leave.
Who's ready for lunch?

Shouldn't we get
some work done, first?

Ugh! New guy's
headband's so tight,

it's cutting off
the circulation to his brain.

Look, if you get
the tasks done on time,

they just give you more work.

Isn't that being efficient?

Ugh! I hate that word!

We don't work like that here.
We coast!

Okay, okay!
Since it's my first day, uh...

How about we get
some sodas? On me.

[laughs] Now you're getting it.

Be not back in a jiffy.

And I'm keepin' the change!
[laughs]

What was that?

Talks just does
whatever he wants.

Yeah, and if you call him
out on it, watch out.

So, we basically
just steer clear.

Well, Pops took a chance
on me and I think this place

can definitely use
some improvements.

So, now that he's gone,

what do you say
we roll up our sleeves

and get some work done?

[all] Yeah!

[upbeat rock music playing]

[inaudible]

Huh?

[dramatic musical stings]

-[groans exasperatedly]
-Oh! Jolly good show!

The park looks beautiful!

-How did this happen?
-Well, we--

I whipped everybody
into shape

using my expert
managerial skills.

-Actually, we--
-Hey, Pops,

how about you take the cart

I personally fixed up
for a spin?

Oh, I suppose I could!

How thrilling!

Hey, Talks,
why'd you say that?

-Whatever do you mean?
-Here we go again.

You just took all the credit
for our work!

Yeah, 'cause you were
tryin' to make me look bad.

Look, Beanbag,
or whoever you are,

I've got a good thing
going here,

coasting nicely
from paycheck to paycheck.

And if you start
screwing that up for me,

chops aren't the only thing
I'll bust! Capisce?

[Benson] What the...
My band is back in town!

Uh, your band?
Hair to the Throne?

Yeah, right, pal.
Stop bustin' my chops.

It's true.
I'm their drummer.

Oh, yeah? Well then, why
aren't you on the billboard?

I am! I'm gonna be
in the middle!

-A drum machine?
-[Talks laughs]

[Talks] Looks like
they're tryin' to

out-efficient
"Mr. Efficiency!"

I guess the new drummer
kinda looks like you, huh?

-You're both total squares.
-This has got to be a mistake!

Hey, guys! Very funny,

replacing me
with a drum machine.

Its name is "Drumotron."

Yeah, you show that little
bucket of bolts some respect!

Uh, sure.

Anyway, I'm back now.

So, I can be
your drummer again.

No, thanks. Drumotron
doesn't bring us down.

Yeah, and it's better
with the ladies.

[girls giggle]

What? No! Please let me
back in the band!

I can change!

You see? That right there
is proof you'll never change.

We don't want
a manager, Benson.

We just want to rock!

I love rock
as much as you guys!

I just wanted us
to be more efficient!

Well, what's more efficient
than a machine?

-[Drumotron plays rimshot]
-[girls laugh]

The marimba's delicate,
so you should--

Yeah, I'm gonna use it
as a coffee table,

so I don't need advice
from some washed-up nobody.

[sighs] No one wants me
as a drummer.

No one wants me
as a groundskeeper.

Does anyone want me
as anything?

[Pops] Yes, we do!

Huh? What are you all
doing here?

Work was so aimless,
and then you came along

and got everyone organized.

I really felt like
I could accomplish my goals

and make a difference.

You've got serious
team captain energy, bro.

It's in that spirit that I'd
like to invite you back

to the park as manager.

Manager? I'm not sure
you've got the right guy.

I definitely do.

You see, there are certain
things or, um...

people that
I just can't handle.

And if you came back
as manager,

I believe you could
remove these obstacles.

I'll see you all
at the morning meeting.

[all cheering]

[Benson] What the...

How did this happen?

I was only gone a day.
Morning meeting!

-[Talks laughs]
-Nice of you to join us, Talks.

Yeah, I'm a saint.

I'm surprised
you showed back up.

What, your band's
not taking you on tour?

-Yeah, zip it, Talks.
-[all gasp]

As of today, I'm Park Manager.

Oh, and I'm King
of the United States.

You can't just
promote yourself.

-No, but I can.
-[gasps]

And things are gonna
change around here.

So, what?
You're gonna write me up?

Yeah. Adding it
to the list right now.

-[growls furiously]
-[all gasp]

You gonna write me up
for that, too?

-Or what about this?
-[all gasp]

Oh, no! Your precious list!

Okay, you know what?
You're out of here.

-What are you, an umpire?
-No, I'm the manager.

Clear out your desk, now!

Pfft! I don't even
have a desk.

Unless you're promoting me.

-Oh, thank you, Benson!
-That's it, Talks.

-I'm letting you go.
-Go?

I'm not going anywhere!

[acid sizzles]

This park has people

who care about it
and want it to be better.

You're not a team player!
We're downsizing.

[Talks] You got that right!

Your head's a lot smaller
than Pops'.

Trying to tell me the rules?
I make the rules!

[all gasp, exclaim]

No! My beach
volleyball scholarship!

-No!
-[growls]

Look at you!
You're just a washed-up drummer

that's going nowhere!

Hey! We finally got
something in common!

I ain't going nowhere, neither!

Listen up, Talks.

You give me no choice

but to say this
as efficiently as possible.

What is this?
You're floating now?

You're fired!

I hate efficiency!

[wind whistles]

He's gone! You did it!

Yeah, all right!

[groans] What just happened?

You fired that Talks guy.

And then he walked away.

I mean, our eyes were closed,

but when we opened them,
he was gone.

So, he must have left
of his own free will.

And you saved the park.

So, I may not be
in Hair to the Throne,

but I guess you can say
I found myself a new band.

[Mordecai and Rigby] Whoa!

I had no idea...

that Muscle Man
had a scholarship

-for beach volleyball!
-Yeah! So cool!

That's your takeaway
from my story?

It all started the first time
Starla broke up with me...

[theme music playing]