03x02 - Mobile Suit Toyman

[bunniefuu]

[calm music playing]

-[gasps and screams]
-[tense music playing]

-[tires screeching]
-[car thuds]

-[heroic music playing]
-[Supergirl grunts]

Pay attention, motorist!

Look both ways
before crossing a street.

[Kara exclaims]

[alarm ringing]

[thief panting]

Whoa!

-[thief exclaims]
-These, do not belong to you!

-[thief] Heh?
-No.

-[g*n clacks]
-[teller gasps]

It's time
to let these people go.

Guys... I don't think...

[robbers exclaim]

[goon 1] Let's get out of here!

-[Kara grunts]
-Oh, that's uh...

one way to do it.
Good job, Kara.

[opening theme music playing]

[music ends]

-[triumphant music playing]
-[Jimmy] Whoo!

Look around, kids.

Soon, this Superfest
will be alive!

With the kind of Super energy
only Super-fans can provide.

Oh! I am also excited.

I am ready to astonish
the public

with my feats of strength!

And, I will also encourage
people to call me...

Power Woman!

[laughs] Good luck with that.

[Kara sighs disappointedly]

How will you spend
the day, Kal-El?

Well, after I introduce you
to your public,

I'm going to enjoy the con,

as mild-mannered attendee,
Clark Kent.

Kara, may I have that
small box, please?

Oh, it is my pleasure,
Jimmy Flamebird.

[soft music playing]

-[music ends]
-[Jimmy clears throat]

And, I'm gonna make sure we all
stay connected...

-[Lois grunts]
-with these.

Flamebird watches?

Custom bird watches
that let us radio Superman

for help anytime, anywhere.

Jimmy, are these
really necessary?

My dear Lois,

when have we been to a gala,
an event, or conference

that didn't get attacked
by super-villains?

They're definitely necessary.

Oh [laughs whimsically]
I am most thankful

for this token
of your affection, Jimmy.

[laughs nervously] Oh, no, no.

These are for all my...

[voice breaks] closest,
yet platonic friends!

Hey! You have a real shot
with Kara

and you are blowing it!

Lois, I will call Clark.

I get it, she's Supergirl
and you're...

-well.
-Thanks.

But she cares about you
and you're going to hurt her.

Listen, I'm not gonna trap Kara
in a relationship with me

when we both know it won't last.

-[yells] Nobody knows that!
-[Jimmy sighs]

Kara spent her whole life
in a cage,

she deserves a real shot
at what the world has to offer.

To find out
what makes her happy.

And what if that's you, Jimmy.

Look, I have this under control.

No one's feelings will be hurt.

No relationships
will be complicated.

Everything is fine
the way it is.

-[Lois] But Jimmy...
-Hey, look! We're here.

[mumbles] Oh, gosh, he just
never listens to me, but okay.

[Clark] "Flamebird presents,
Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen "?

Yep! Action-packed comics
inspired by true events.

The Birdwatchers will love 'em.

[Clark] Uh, a lot of creative
license here, Jimmy.

That's what sells, Clark.

As you know,
I have grown accustomed

[slyly] to a certain lifestyle,

[normally] and this is gonna
put me back on top!

There's always money in comics!

[cash register dings,
coins clatter]

Today's gonna be great!

Jimmy, I'm the villain!

Why am I the villain
in this comic?

And what's with the teeth?

It's just marketing, Lois.

Everybody likes
a enemies-to-lovers story.

And our metrics show that
Superman's girl-frenemy:

Lois Lane
will be a surefire hit!

[sighs] I shouldn't even
be here today.

Why do I have to write
a puff piece on Superfest

when there are real stories
to tackle?

-Nonsense, Lois Lane.
-[Lois shrieks]

Cat Grant, Daily Planet.

-We know who you are.
-We work with you, Cat.

Oh, darling.

I begged Perry to assign you
this convention beat.

What? Why?

The name "Lois Lane"
means something.

My dear, no one knows Superman
like you do.

You'll find a story,
just like you always do.

[laughs boisterously]

[sighs]

Well, let's see what's out here.

[softly] That could be a story.

-[Clark exclaims]
-Come on, Clark.

[indistinct chatter]

-[Lois groans]
-[camera clicks]

[Clark] Aw, Lois.

Look at this tractor.

It's just like the one
on the farm.

Ha, that's great, Clark,

but we don't have time
for miniatures, right now.

My story's getting away.

You mean that kindly old man
in the cabbie hat?

[Lois scoffs] "Kindly old man"?

Do you have any idea
who that is?

I dunno. Oh!

That's Winslow Schott.

A.K.A. The guy
who tried to m*rder me

and my dad
with an expl*sive teddy bear!

An expl*sive teddy bear, Clark!

He may look like
an ordinary toy merchant

but he's up to something.

And I'm sure
you'll figure it out, uh,

in the meantime, I have to go
introduce the guest of honor.

Just don't do anything too, uh,

extreme, Lois.

Me? [chuckles]

[fan laughing]

Love your look, bro.
Hey say, "Cheese."

Cheese?

[cameras flashing]

-I can arrange these.
-[Jimmy shrieks]

illustrated documents
for you, Jimmy.

Uh, no, thanks. I'm... I'm good.

Then, teach me how to operate
the Earth currency dispenser?

I can cover that, Kara.

Then, I will...

acquire hot dogs.

Uh...

-[Jimmy shrieks]
-Jimmy. Supergirl.

You two sure do spend
a lot of time together.

Care to comment, lovebirds?

We're not lovebirds.
We're not any kind of birds.

Maybe Flamebirds.

Know what, Kara? Let's do
a couple, uh...

Two, single hot dogs.

Of course.

I know what
you're thinking, Cat.

But you are wrong.

We're just two, single hot dogs.

-Look, Jimmy Flamebird.
-[Jimmy yells]

I brought our favorite
characters from.

Challengers of the Unknown.

Just like our couples' costume.

Do you remember? From Halloween?

I do.

-Uh?
-Huh?

[Jimmy whines]

Nothing between you two, huh?

[laughs boisterously]

Jimmy, may I speak
with you, candidly?

Sure. Absolutely.

You may not have noticed, but...

I feel romantic affection
for you.

I want you to be my mate.

Uh, the way Kal-El
and Lois are mates.

Kara, I care about you too.

But there's a whole world
out there.

Clark. Kal-El,

had a chance to see that world

before becoming Lois' uh, mate.

And you haven't.

I do not understand, Jimmy.

What if there's something,
someone, better for you?

Someone who could
make you happier.

This is such an important
decision about your future.

Are you sure you've seen enough
to make it?

Are you...

Are you saying that...

[man over pa system]
All attendees.

The "Supergirl panel palooza"
is about to begin in Hall S.

All right, Guest of Honor.
Ready for your big debut?

Go, get 'em... Pal.
[laughs nervously]

[Jimmy groans]

All right, remember, we do this
quick, easy and quiet.

-[woman] Nyet, boys.
-[goon 1 groans]

[woman] Let us have some fun.

[alarm ringing]

What are you doing?
I said "quiet".

The last thing we need
is fight with Superman.

To fight with Superman
is exactly what I want.

-[woman cackles]
-[car alarms beep]

If you want to be highest paid
muscle in Metropolis,

and I do,

you must prove you can party
with Man of Steel.

[audience cheering]

[upbeat entrance music playing]

It is my pleasure to introduce
your guest of honor,

and my cousin, Kara Zor-El,

Supergirl of Metropolis!

-[all cheering]
-[fan 1] Supergirl!

-[fan 2] Yay! We love you.
-[fan 3] Whoo!

All right, Birdwatchers,
time for the main event.

[distant rumbling,
alarm ringing yelling]

Whoop, sorry to duck out, folks.

But, uh, duty calls.

-[audience exclaiming]
-What a "super" guy, right?

And how lucky are we
to have you here, Supergirl?

I'm sure our adoring audience
has questions for you, too.

So, for the first question,
let's go to...

Me, Cat Grant.

[audience groan
in disappointment]

Tell me, darling,
what's your sign?

I'm told it is your letter "S".

[audience laughing]

[laughs] Delightful!
Next question...

Let's go to...

Oh, back to me.

[audience groan
in disappointment]

What's your secret to such
luminous, dewy skin?

I wash it.

[audience laughing]

[Cat laughs boisterously]

Oh, you scamp!

To be youthful and carefree!

Guys, didn't we already
do this today?

Huh? [exclaims]

What in the wor...
[sigh] What's happening?

They call me the Whip!

Is about time
you showed up, handsome!

Miss, I don't want
to hurt you...

Ooh, but I would like you
to try.

[strains, groans]

You brought kryptonite...
to A bank robbery?

Always bring best candy
to party, my little umbrella.

Especially party with strong,
American man. [laughs]

Besides, kryptonite is easy
to get now.

Robots leave it all over city.

And I am oh-so-happy to share.

[girl giggles]

-Hi there, Win.
-[Winslow exclaims]

Invent any dangerous, new
novelty weapons lately?

You know, anything that might
detonate or explode?

I'm sorry, Miss,
but do... do I know you?

[Lois scoffs]

Are you kidding me?
You tried to k*ll me!

Oh! Yes. Sam Lane's girl.

If you don't mind,
please lower your voice.

Your family already
destroyed my life...

I destroyed your life?

I'm just a normal toy merchant
running a normal business.

You sure about that?

Now, can you please just
leave me in peace.

To share the joy of toys

-with others?
-[boy giggles]

No.

Supergirl, you are
incredibly charming...

Thank you.

But let's face the elephant
in the room.

May I pet the elephant?

Metropolis doesn't really need
two superheroes, does it?

I...

I do not know.

I mean, there must be something
unique about you,

something Superman doesn't have?

I...

What exactly do you bring
to the table, Supergirl?

I... I think...

That person has something
to say.

You, with the hand. Speak.

Um. Supergirl's special
because she's brave.

You are a warrior.

I like how Superman protects us,

But I love how you fight for us.

I... I wish I was
as brave as you.

Aw. Adorable. And what's
your name, mousy girl?

I'm Jessica. Jessica Cruz.

Thank you, Jessica.

Brilliant! So...

What's next for Earth's one
and only "Warrior Supergirl"?

I need to make an important
decision about my future.

So I invite any and all
eligible Earthling suitors

to meet me at my booth
after the interview.

[audience cheering]

What?

[laughs nervously] What?

[Superman grunts]

-[The Whip grunts]
-[Superman groans]

Ahh, Superman!

You are oh so cute
when you suffer.

[sighs] What's your plan here?

I have great plan.

First, ruin your day,

then become highest paid muscle
in town. Just like you!

I don't get paid for this!

You do this for free?

That is just sad, honey.

Never give away what people
will happily pay for.

-Huh?
-[The Whip strains]

[Superman groans]

Not... interested...
in your... career advice!

Too bad that
I am interested in you!

[dramatic music playing]

[device beeps slowly]

Hi, Supergirl.
Could I get your autograph?

-It's for my boyfriend.
-Of course.

You look like my friend Jimmy,
but stronger.

[doppelganger chuckles]

[whispers] Get away from her,
Muscle Jimmy.

[normally] I knew she'd find
someone better.

I didn't know she'd do it today!

Ugh, this is a disaster.

[Lex] No. This is.

[groans] Who drew this, James?

[tuts disapprovingly] I never
appreciate a slender frame.

Why are you even here, Lex?

You know, I'm so glad you asked.

Like you, James,

I am an entrepreneur
on a mission.

Always on the lookout
for innovative opportunities

[exhales sharply]

And I have found
an exceptional one.

Stop by the presentation today.

You'll love
what we have to offer.

[Jimmy grunts]

I... I'm telling you
that I am reformed.

And I'm telling you
that I don't believe you.

I do this for a living,
you know...

[mutters] Making a mess?

Finding the truth.

Ms. Lane, can we not do this?

You're frightening
the customers.

[suspenseful music playing]

[expl*si*n]

Wait! I knew
you were hiding something!

-Hey, that's mine!
-Get down! Everyone!

This bear is filled with
dangerous, expl*sive...

[grunts] ...fluff?

[gasps]

[crying]

What kind of monster are you?

-[growl, scary music playing]
-[Lois] Oh, no!

I am Villian Lois.

I will always pick you...

[nervous groans]

Oh... This is perfectly
symmetrical! I love it.

A force field!
But how will you escape?

Wow! Interesting.

[groans] He's capturing
her heart

inside his invisible prison!

Cut it out, Jimmy!
You need to stop being...

Pining for the one who got away?

[Jimmy shrieks]

[exhales] Stop doing that, Cat!

Jimmy Olsen, how do you feel

about Supergirl's
many new admirers?

Will you fight
for her affections?

Is your heart heavy with regret?

[sighs] I told you, Cat.

Kara's Supergirl.

[laughs]

And I'm...

-[laughs]
-[Jimmy] Just Superman's pal.

[cash register dings]

Your low income
is real turnoff, Superman!

I am not discussing
my personal finances

with a super-villain! [grunts]

Oh, too bad.

I enjoy to get personal.

-[Superman groans]
-But now... I finish you.

-[The Whip laughs]
-[device beeping lowly]

[grunts]

Nyet!

The party's over.

But why leave when fun is just
beginning, Superman?

Uh, no thanks.
That was more than enough.

[stammers] Have a nice day.

-[soft music]
-[sighs] I love him.

Whoa, Clark. Are you okay?

Uh, being Superman is...

It's harder than it,
than it used to be.

It's much... It's much harder.

Well, if it's any consolation,
they love you in here.

I guess that's uh...

[Lois] I said I was sorry!

What more do you want me to do?

[mother] You ruined
my daughter's bear!

[groans] Excuse me, Jimmy.
I'll be right back.

-[sobbing]
-Here you go.

[sniffles]

-Oh...
-[Teddy squeaks]

Please allow me to pay for that
and the damaged one, too.

This should uh, cover it.

Why, thank you. [chuckles]

Ooh, and I'd love one of these
for myself.

Ooh, and this, too, please.

And we are so sorry,
[clears throat] right?

Look, Winslow, I'm sorry...

[rocket whirring]

[g*nf*re]

[b*ll*ts clattering]

Sorry I didn't realize

you were just an unremarkable,
old tinkerer.

-Uh, Lois?
-I overestimated you.

There's no way a harmless
little toy-man like yourself

could make bear bombs

or invent incredible weapons
no one has ever dreamed of.

I was so caught up in our past
and getting a story

that I failed to see

how you could never be
a threat to anyone...

ever!

Oh. [grumbles] That's it!

[grunts] How's this
for a threat?!

[machine whirring, thudding]

[rousing music playing]

[Winslow] Who's the Toyman now,
Lois Lane?

Ah-ha! I knew it!

Uh. Really wish you didn't.

-[woman screams]
-[music continues]

Ah!

I can't believe
I do this for free...

[intense music playing]

[dramatic music playing]

What?

Friends! [laughs]

You've gathered here today
to celebrate heroes.

As you should!

We have a homegrown
American hero right here,

Captain Hank Henshaw!

Captain Henshaw was shot down

defending Metropolis during
last year's alien invasion.

But my human ingenuity
and his iron will

brought him back
stronger than ever.

[Cyborg Superman grunting]

[Lex] With Captain Hank Henshaw
on our side,

we don't need to rely on
the mercy of violent aliens

to keep us safe.

-[Cyborg Superman yells]
-[Winslow yells]

[Cyborg Superman grunts]

[Lex] We have the power.

Need a blurb for The Planet,
Ms. Lane?

Why, Hank? What is this about?

It's about taking back
humanity's future, Lois.

Kal-el, is Lex afraid of us
because I have been...

-bad?
-No.

They were afraid of me
when I arrived too.

But things change.

If we keep doing what's right,
it'll work out.

What I want to know is how did
Lex get Hank Henshaw

to be his own personal Superman?

I mean, if it gets ugly,
there's always real Superman

and Supergirl
to stop him, right?

[pensive music playing]

How do you feel, Hank?

[Hank] Today went
even better than planned.

Who knew that washed-up Winslow

would give us the perfect
chance to show off your skills?

[machine beeping, whirring]

[sighs] We're another
step closer

to winning the hearts and minds
of Metropolis, Hank.

And one step closer to saving
the world from Superman.

[theme music playing]