04x08 - Rolls Royce Honeywagon

[bunniefuu]

- [Big Schwag] Okay, monsters.

We got a Rolls Royce that needs potty training.

- What's wrong with your car?

Ah, I took a sh*t out there on the highway.

- [Big Schwag] A m*dget working spin control

and a skunk that wishes he was somewhere else.

[fireworks popping]

What's that smell?

- Monster, Monster Garage.

- [Presenter] Join us now as Jesse

and his g*ng of Maverick Mechanics rip, grind, and burn.

Transforming ordinary street vehicles

into monster machines

in the 'Monster Garage.'

[rock theme music]

- [Presenter 2] This week's challenge,

turn this 1969 Rolls Royce Silver Shadow

into a honey wagon,

the preferred term for a poop sucking machine.

The rules; the monster must appear to be stuck.

The team will get 5,000 bucks for parts.

They'll have seven days and nights.

The first day they design, for the next five they build.

And on the seventh day they pump out Porta-potties.

If successful, each builder gets a box of Mac tools,

valued at four grand

and the clock starts now.

[Jesse whistling] [men chuckling]

[fireworks pop]

[rock music]

[tires screech]

- It seems like I'm driving the state puff marshmallow man.

- [Presenter 2] Jesse plays rough with the classy lady

and then rolls her into the garage.

She'll trade in her ritzy lifestyle for a more humble one.

[rock music continues]

- Do you think that's the first burnout

that car's ever done?

- [Presenter 2] Jesse's still on the road to recovery

from his NASCAR crash.

The design team is ready to go.

Dutchman, Tony Vanderploeg,

is a world class Rolls Royce expert

and Bodie Stroud owns and operates Porto San

and Porto Shred, portable toilet and shredding surfaces.

- What's up man? - Jesse.

- Hi Jesse, I'm Tony. - What's up man?

- Hey Jesse, Bodie.

- So we're going to make a Rolls Royce into a,

the thing that sucks the poo outta outhouses.

[men chuckle]

Is there an official term for the truck that goes around?

- Honey wagon, pumper.

There's the obvious name.

- And that's the best car for it, right?

If we're gonna do it.

- Oh yes it is, absolutely.

- Because that's a car everybody, you know,

sees a Rolls Royce like, whoa, I just drove it right here

and guys are all like, look at that Rolls Royce.

I wanna keep it totally stock.

- Do you? - Yeah.

I mean, I want it to look like Rolls-Royce on the outside.

- You don't want like a- - No.

- Like a big old tank sticking outta the back

or anything like that?

- No, no, we'll maybe just blow out the trunk

in the back seat and make that whole back portion a tank.

- What kind of pump should we use?

- Well we got the pump truck out back with the, it's got a-

- Is it driven off the motor? - Belt driven, yeah.

Right now it's set up for clockwise rotation.

- We'll just scab the stuff off of that, you know,

we'll probably have to beef up the suspension.

What motor's in that thing?

- V-eight, 6 motor engine.

- What brand though?

- Oh, it's a Rolls-Royce engine.

- Is it? - It's made by Rolls Royce.

- Really, what's the displacement?

- It's six liters.

- I would think we'd only probably do 200 gallon tanks.

- What we dump into is like a 12 by 12 by 6 foot

holding tank.

If you open those doors, you can watch it.

It goes down through a big old garbage disposal,

called the Muffin Monster.

- Muffin Monster?

- That's actually what it's called.

The Muffin Monster, it's like a big giant, oh man.

- We'll see, like honey wagon, Muffin Monster.

You know all this stuff, everything's tongue in cheek.

- Oh yeah. - It's good.

Put some wheels and some straight pipes.

Maybe some flame throwers.

Oh wait- - Oh yeah.

- Not with methane gas though,

yeah we might run into some trouble.

My challenge is to get it

and get it to work without getting any [bleep] on me.

[men chuckle]

- [Presenter 2] To flush out Jesse's plan,

the builders will gut out the back of the car

to make room for two tanks.

One that will hold the waste

and a smaller, fresh water tank to rinse the porta-potties.

A pump will be driven off the motor.

A vacuum hose connected to the pump,

will suck the contents out of the porta-potties

and into the waste tank.

[edm music]

- [Presenter 2] Day two and the build team

enters the garage ready to pop it up.

[heavy metal music]

Gleek Chapman of Cook Build Tennessee,

is an all around fabricator and machine builder.

LA technician, Matthew Deonda

is a service technician at Rolls Royce of Devon Mills.

Fabricator and welding teacher, Juan Martinez,

comes from Boise, Idaho

and staying on from the design

to help pimp out this pumper monster,

Rolls Royce extraordinaire,

Tony Vanderploeg and the superman of Porta potties,

Bodie Stroud.

- What's up guys?

How's it going?

So this is a good build.

We're going to take this Rolls Royce

and make it into the one of those things

that cleans out outhouses.

So 'Honey Wagon' you call it or whatever.

So we're just gonna try to make the coolest one, you know,

and you know it's Rolls Royce, so

[everyone laughs]

everybody put on white gloves.

I dunno if we wanna make like some kind of stink firewall

for behind the driver or something.

- Once you fire up that pump inside there, oh man.

- Nah man, I say we don't, you know, it's part of the job.

- I don't think it'll take us five days, you know?

So I think we should just bust a*s and knock it out

and then we have some time to play around with it

and have fun.

Like that's it.

Can't do this build without snickering.

- You want to bulletproof it too?

- Nah, if they sh**t a hole in this thing,

they're gonna get a big surprise.

We should take it to a Rolls Royce show like Pebble Beach.

- Oh, wouldn't they love that? - Would they?

- Pull the lever on the dump. - Oops.

- You mean we can't be in the show?

[Jesse imitates fart noise]

Do a brown out.

- Oh, a brown out.

- [Presenter 2] Jesse wants to keep this monster

looking pristine.

So the tear out is minor.

Just get rid of everything behind the front seats.

[machines whir]

The car goes up for inspection

and the Rolls Royce guy discovers

that Jesse has left quite an impression on the lady.

- Look what the [bleep] did.

They bent the rear cross member.

This is what holds the [bleep] differential in place.

The next thing is it [bleep] comes right out the car.

- Can we fix it? - Nope.

- Sure you can, you can straighten it.

- He bent the [bleep] cross arm already, look.

It's already pushed over three inches, oh Jesus.

- What are you saying? - What am I saying,

is he saying he just bent the whole rear of this car.

- Who did?

- Jesse bent the [bleep] rear of the car, all right.

- Okay, that's what we want to know.

- Don't go and race this thing.

[tires skid]

- Look at the drive line, see how far over it's pushed?

See, it's already starting to rub.

He just totaled this car.

- Hey, come here guy.

- [Jesse] Yeah? [mechanics applaud]

- Jesse, this is what you did.

See what you did to this rear cross member?

Look at the drive line.

- Hey, it was like that when I got it.

[mechanics laugh]

Well, you know, they should make it more beefy.

You mean Rolls Royce can't do a burnout?

- No, are you kidding?

- What if someone like me buys one?

That's hot.

That's like some real genuine damage.

It's better now than when it's full of crap.

- Oh yeah.

- You can't drive this like a, like a hot rod.

It doesn't work.

You gotta drive it like an old lady.

- [Presenter 2] 74-year-old, Tony Vanderploeg,

knows how to treat a Rolls.

He owns Vanderploeg Motors in Los Angeles.

- We repair Rolls Royces and Bentleys and Jaguar.

I started working on Rolls Royces in 1956.

- This thing's funky.

How many mufflers does it have?



- Four, it's got four. - Four mufflers?

- [Presenter 2] They remove the cross member to fix it

and all four mufflers must go

because you want to hear this monster

before you smell it.

[tools whirring]

- I got dibs on the hub caps. - Nice.

- Yeah we can fix it, it's just metal.

- [Presenter 2] Gleek Chapman comes to us

from way down south,

where he builds automated machinery.

- Whatever I've built,

whether it's been nationally notarized or published

or anything else, nobody ever knows the guy in the back

that's actually doing it, you know,

and Jesse's giving people like myself

a real wow by being on the show.

That ain't a screwdriver.

It's hard to get good help nowadays.

[hammers banging]

[sparks zap]

[mechanics laugh]

- I was like, I know I'm making that-

Lame!

- [Presenter 2] Gleek has already reinforced

the damaged cross member

and puts it back in place as if nothing ever happened.

- Let go, okay, perfect.

- You know, we could fill up the whole trunk with that tank

Come all the way in.

- All the way in, right, right.

Which is again, that might be another option.

- Put two water tanks on each side of here.

- That might be a better option, let's cut it out.

- You just do what Bodie says, he is the biggest.

Law of mass, biggest thing always wins, right?

- Yep, yes.

- [Presenter 2] Before the end of the day,

the team takes Bodie's advice.

They cut out the entire backseat frame

to make more room for the tanks.

- This the first day, kind of a cluster [bleep]

We'll get over it. - Gotcha.

- God, did I just say that?

- [Presenter 2] By the end of the day,

the Rolls is already gutted out

and the builders have got day number two in the can.

Monster Garage Factoid,

the US generates around 1 trillion pounds of solid waste

each year.

That's about one pound a day, flushed or thrown away

for every man, woman, and child in the country.

[rock theme music plays]

- [Presenter 2] Body drop drives day three

through the garage

and the build team is speaking vanilla gorilla's language.

[mechanic imitates monkey call]

- Hello?

- [Presenter 2] And Jesse comes in loud and clear.

- What's up boss? - Hey Jesse.

- We talked yesterday about, you know, the tanks.

You wanted 'em stacked up in the back far as-

- Well, not stacked, just put one on the side.

- Were you guys gonna make 'em outta clear plexiglass?

- What's that? - The tanks.

- No, we got steel outside. - That'd be cool.

[mechanics chuckle]

- You can get a close look at all the corn.

- Just so you can see if it's full or not.

- You think this motor's got enough [bleep] on it?

What'd they use, ice cream makers?

They look like-

Put some rock salt in there.

[motor revs]

- It sounds like it's CO2 powered.

- Aside from the fact that it's not running too well,

you could just tune it up.

That'll probably give you, maybe,

- Why don't we do that? - 15%

- Plugs and points and a new rotor and cap and like-

- Let's try to tune it up

and I'll make a cool exhaust for it.

- [Presenter 2] Juan takes charge of fabricating the tanks.

- Its Che Guevara, homes.

Vatos locos forever.

[Juan speaks in Spanish]

- [Presenter 2] As a welding teacher

at Boise State University,

Juan Martinez feels a great sense of responsibility

to pass on the torch.

- You know, George Bush, I found his WMDs,

his welders of mass diversity right here.

- I always told myself, if I can change one kid,

if I can get one kid to listen to me

and you know, may he change his direction

or her direction, then when I lay down for my final nap

that you know, my life is is all worth it.

It has been worth something.

You got me, I'll tell you that right now, you got me.

You might think you have nobody but you got me.

- [Presenter 2] To help support the added weight

of the tanks,

Matt starts beefing up the car suspension

by disassembling the hydraulic ram

and switching over

to an air suspension system.

- It's frozen.

- Nothing is easy on a Roll Royce.

- Take everything you've learned about a motorcar

and throw it right out the and start from scratch

because it's all backwards.

There we go.

- You know, those are a piece of history.

It's a piece of artwork right there that's handcrafted.

So, you know, that's what makes it a Rolls.

- [Presenter 2] At only 24 years old, Matt Deanda,

is 11 years younger than the car.

He takes great pride in being a high-end service tech.

- What I really like is just being part of an elite group

of people, really.

Just, you know, there's not that many

of us in the world, and you know,

we try and just do the best job possible.

We just try and represent the factory

and the dealership in a real professional manner.

[Matt laughs manically]

- [Presenter 2] After the new shocks are in,

the bonnet comes off

so they can see what they can take out

of the crowded engine compartment to make room for the pump.

They decide to ax the air conditioning units.

- Throw it? - Chuck it, dude.

Chuck it.

Oh! Yeah, boy!

Yeah, boy.

- Oh yeah, look at that bad boy.

Check it out.

[mechanic laughs]

- Yeah, that'd be great.

- [Presenter 2] Gleek and Juan take sheets of steel

from the garage to Bill Williams' welding company

where they bend the steel for the waste tank.

Bending the steel means less chance for leaks.

And this is one build

where leakage would be a huge detriment

and very smelly.

Back in the garage,

the rest of the team is hard at work.

- Lemme call you.

- [Presenter 2] Gleek and Juan return with half a tank

and Juan cuts the rest of the steel for the waste tank

and welds it all together.

He makes three baffles for inside the tank

to help control the force of the wastewater flow.

- Don't want poop leaking to the bottom of the Rolls Royce.

- Well, I bet you Jesse wouldn't either.

[heavy metal music]

- Little Indian trick.

- [Presenter 2] Then Juan fabricates

the smaller fresh water tank

and puts it in place next to the waste tank.

- Perfect.

- [Presenter 2] To totally pimp out their pumper,

a special delivery arrives courtesy of LA wire wheels.

- We got some spokes.

We got some spokes.

- This is for southeast LA, right?

- No, actually that fits rights here in Long Beach.

- Gotta have gold hundred spokes on a Rolls Royce,

on the big head.

- Look at this, goes right over here, wow.

- [Presenter 2] But the wheel adapters

from MC Motorsports don't fit.

- There's one lined up, but yeah,

none of them even come close.

- Hold it up there and see if it's close.

Did you hold it up there?

- Yeah, we got the wheel right here.

- Yeah, no, no, it's off like a half inch.

- Okay.

- It's good, I think these guys got it more than handled.

I don't think it's that hard of a contraption.

- We're gonna be in business on Friday.

We'll go around town and check out all the potties.

- A lot of cutting fitting, plumbing.

Just plumbing essentially.

But it's a pretty easy build, actually, no big deal.

Ain't no thing.

- This thing stinks.

- [Presenter 2] This build may stink,

but the team has made enough progress to stop

and smell the roses.

Both of the tanks are done

and they've made room for the pump.

- We're gonna put some pipes on it tomorrow.

As soon as these guys are outta the way,

I can start doing stuff.

We run some lake pipes down the side.

- [Presenter 2] At the end of day three.

Looks like this crew has their sh-, stuff together.

Day four creeps up

and the builders take a break from the garage

to get some fresh air.

They visit the Burbank water reclamation plant

to learn about the process of elimination.

- We reclaim about 9.2 million gallons of water each day.

These are large rakes

and they just rake all the large material out of the water

and dump it into a grinder.

In here, we're gonna biologically remove suspended solids.

- So essentially you're in deep [bleep] if you fall in here.

- That's a really dumb Willy Wonka.

- During the fall season when they grow a lot of corn,

Do you ever notice a change in consistency

or texture of the what comes out?

- No. - No?

- It maintains the same color all the time.

Watch your step right here.

- You guys hiring?

- No. - No?

- Why do you need a hard hat?

Do you guys do airdrops at times?

- No. - Oh.

- [Presenter 2] The builders return to the garage

feeling a little backed up.

- I think we're getting a little too comfortable

in this build.

We're not outta the woods.

We're getting a little c*ck, I feel.

- [Presenter 2] To make sure

they're not overlooking anything.

The team makes a list and Jesse sneaks up on them.

[Western music]

- What the [bleep] are you guys doing?

- We don't know.

- Four inch male cam.

- Look how thorough we are.

One Philip screw, one hose clamp, one piece of welding rock.

- [Presenter 2] After Jesse is done picking on the builders,

he starts prepping the old lady for a new set of pipes.

Jesse has worked on some eccentric cars

in the Monster Garage, but this one takes the cake.

- This is a drip.

- Yeah, they pile a lot of stuff in here.

Most cars are, kind of, all the same.

This thing's definitely got its own thing going on.

- This car has been very poorly maintained, I'll tell you.

Nobody has looked at this thing for a long, long time.

- So you'd say this car is like a pile of [bleep]?

- Yeah.

- [Presenter 2] Matt explains

the cars complex braking features.

- What that does is, when you press down on this,

on your brake pedal, it activates these rods right here.

Let's pressure out of those.

The pressure goes to your wheels.

All this pressure that's stored in those accumulators.

So this is just activating a switch

that releases the pressure in this canister.

- Yeah, this activates the door, it's a valve, that's it.

- Either the British are really, really smart

or they're really, really-

- This system was way ahead of its time

when it came out in 1964.

- The world's most complicated brake system.

I think we should rebuild them.

- I mean, we can rebuild 'em.

That's not a problem.

- I would do it

- [Presenter 2] Because of the extra load

the car will be holding.

Jesse and Matt agree to upgrade the braking system,

but Tony thinks that would be a crappy idea.

- You know, we should just bleed

the hydraulic system completely.

- Why's that?

- Because, you know,

we start messing around with the accumulator,

we're gonna have leaks,

we're gonna have all kinds of problems.

- [Presenter 2] Despite Tony's concerns, Matt goes ahead

and takes the braking system apart.

- Ah, there we go.

- Oh. - [Mechanic] Throw it.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You don't throw these.

- [Presenter 2] And takes off to his garage.

Rolls Royce and Bentley of Beverly Hills.

To rebuild the 30-year-old accumulators.

[rock music]

Back at the garage,

Bodie fabricates a bracket that will hold the pump.

Then he scavenges the pump off his truck

and transplants it into the Rolls Royce.

This will be the heart for their Excrementinator Monster.

- Oh yeah, that's a beautiful fit, man.

Mounting the pump.

This is gonna make it suck right here, this is it.

- Now for you folks at home that don't have the proper tools

to do this, you all you gotta do is run down

to your local hardware store,

they carry this stuff in stock,

and you're holding tank will last the whole family

at least a week.

You can go poop all you want all week long

and the family- [Bodie chuckles]

- [Presenter 2] As owner and operator

of a porta-potty business.

Bodie Stroud has a dirty and dangerous job.

- I got spinal meningitis and encephalitis

and was in the hospital for a month

and they said it was 'cause of this.

There was a fitting that was clogged up on the side

of a pump truck, kinda like the one that's outside there.

Well, when I undid it

and released whatever was stuck,

there was a bunch of poop stuck behind that.

It came rushing out and it missed me,

but one landed right on my lip.

A drop, and I instantly-

I think that did it.

- [Presenter 2] When Bodie's not running

his hazardous business,

he finds relief in building hot rods.

- I restore old cars, make hot rods out of them.

Right now I'm finishing up a '56 Ford pickup

with a blown Chevy small block.

It's putting out about 600 and almost 40 horsepower.

[rock-edm music]

- [Presenter 2] Sparks fly in the garage

as Jesse makes his lakeside pipes

to ensure this monster doesn't sneak up on anyone.

[music continues]

- 69 inches.

- [Presenter 2] Hose man reels in some freebies.

The hose that will suck the waste

and another hose that will rinse the toilets.

- Freebie? - Yeah.

- Right on, all right.

Huh? Is that custom or what?

- [Presenter 2] Matt returns to the garage,

sporting the dealership's $250,000 Bentley Arnage.

- Mission complete, we back in action.

- While you were out driving Bentleys,

we were here working.

- Yeah man, what the hell?

- Four and a half hours for a one hour job, what's up?

- Dude, we're doing all the work

and you're cruising Bentleys.

- Yeah, looking all fly in a Bentley.

- Brand new, rebuilt, fully charged spheres

and accumulators ready to put back on the car.

- [Presenter 2] But time is running out today,

so Matt will have to wait 'til tomorrow to install them.

And Tony is worried about the possible outcome.

- By doing this, we increase the pressure

and we may run into problems

with the rest of the hydraulic system.

That's what I'm worried about.

- [Presenter 2] The rebuilt accumulators

on this 30-year-old car will increase the pressure

on the hydraulic system by 150 pounds.

That much added pressure is likely to cause leaks

and brake pump problems.

- That's why I didn't want to get this done,

but I got over-ruled.

[mechanics cross-talk]

- Oh man, we getting T-P'd.

- Ooh.

[upbeat rock music]

- [Presenter 2] Despite Body Drops paper drop,

the builders stay focused.

- This is going to the tank.

- Come on, baby, oh yeah.

- You good? - Yep, we got it.

- This is the hardest.

- Perfect, damn that's bitching.

- [Presenter 2] Deep in the bowels of the garage.

Another monster is coming together.

They've got a new suspension system.

The tanks are done, the pump is in

and the hoses are ready to suck.

So the build crew wipes their hands clean of day four.

Monster Garage Factoid,

in 1904, nobleman C.S. Rolls,

met self-made engineer industrialist, Henry Royce.

Rolls bought exclusive rights

to sell all of Royce's new two cylinder 10 horsepower cars.

A hundred years later, Rolls Royce remains a legend.

Their newest car sports 12 cylinders and 453 horsepower.

[rock theme music]

- [Presenter 2] Day five is closing in on this build

and the crew is about to unleash a can of whoop a*s on Matt,

for rebuilding the accumulators.

- I think we're gonna face an issue here today.

I got kind of a concern, I wanna address it,

and not to bash on you, dude, not to bang on you.

All right, but I'll stand here

and I specifically remember Tony saying,

just to recharge that unit.

- Because you know,

we start messing around with the accumulator.

We're going have leaks,

we're going to have all kinds of problems.

- And I understand you rebuilt the unit and pressurized it.

Hopefully it doesn't bite us in the a*s.

Failure to follow a verbal instruction

can have catastrophic results.

- I could have sat there and done a half-a*s job.

You don't do a half-a*s job, he didn't do a half-a*s job,

he didn't do a half-a*s job, Tony doesn't do a half-a*s job.

- The key word is 'I,' okay, 'I' okay?

This is a team environment and I don't know how they do it.

I don't know how they spell it Beverly Hills,

but I think down here in Long Beach,

they spell team, there's no I in team.

- Well, you're true.

- Again, dude, I'm not bashing on you.

Don't get me wrong.

- I'm taking your criticism

- You got us nervous.

- I'm just very nervous,

I actually lost sleep over it last night.

- My thinking is, okay, you can look at it two ways,

you can either come in here,

build a car that'll run for 15 minutes and then scrap it.

All right, fine.

Or you can come in here

and build a product that'll actually sit, maybe,

in a museum someday.

And you know, they could start it up,

drive it down the street

and not have to worry about it going through a wall

or somebody dying or something like that.

I mean, I was thinking more long term, you know,

making sure that not only are we safe in the garage,

but after we walk away from all this, you know,

two months later somebody,

'hey, you know, I gotta move the Rolls.'

Start it up, drive it down the street, okay, it's fine.

Instead of driving it down the street

and oh [bleep] it doesn't stop.

- All right man.

- We'll get it done man.

- Let's make it happen.

- I mean, if I fail, I fail.

You know, life goes on.

- [Mechanic] Takes the fun out of it, its sucks man.

- But I won't fail, so just look at it that way.

- [Presenter 2] Matt sets out to prove his team wrong.

And Jesse is set on giving a silent silver shadow,

some much needed roar

as he gets cranking on the second set of pipes.

- That's bad dude.

[machine hums]

- That was almost perfect.

[sparks zapping]

- You said we didn't have no Mexican on the show,

look at them pipes. - There you go.

- What the [bleep] you think those are?

- Mr. Rolls would turn around in his grave.

- [Presenter 2] The tanks go in for their final fitting

and Juan welds them in place.

Gleek and Juan have formed one of the oddest bonds

in Monster Garage history.

- Gleek's a pretty good redneck from being from Tennessee.

He's a pretty good old boy.

Anytime that he's in Boise, Idaho, he's welcome in my house.

Mi casa es su casa, hombre, you know what I'm saying?

- No.

- [Together] Vatos Locos forever.

[edm music]

- Oh yeah, he, he, he, he.

- [Presenter 2] The hose rail is welded in place

and the hose that will suck out the waste is attached,

but this monster will have to relieve itself

after it has collected the goods.

So the crew attaches the dump valve.

[electronic music]

- I ain't had this much fun

since the hogs ain't my baby brother.

- [Presenter 2] After Matt has installed

the controversial accumulators,

he bleeds the brakes and to his relief, there are no leaks.

- Never doubt me.

- What are we gonna do?

We gonna fire it up and just make sure it sucks?

Well, we'll do that, we'll make sure it fires up.

We got a bucket with some water or something.

Yeah, just fill up a five gallon bucket with some water.

[Rolls revs]

It actually sounds good.

I don't want it to sound good, I want it to sound like hell.

It's too smooth.

It doesn't have that good six cylinder bow-bow-bow

like a Cessna.

[Rolls revs]

That's how you guys tune them up at your place, isn't it?

All right, she's good, thousand bucks.

[men laugh]

- [Presenter 2] The car starts, but will it suck?

- You ready?

[tense music turns to rock music]

- [Jesse] Oh, I can feel it.

- Yeah, baby.

- Okay, we gotta dump it now.

- Could you feel it?

- Yeah, I could feel the logs hitting the tank.

That works pretty good, there's nothing wrong with that.

- This is how we used to do it.

We'd bust a*s for the first four days

and then the fifth day of the build, then we'd-

No, we'd spend time detailing it

and double checking everything

so it really works good.

- [Presenter] With one more build day left.

The team is already declaring victory

and Matt is off the hook.

- Thursday five o'clock, we're done.

- We're done. - We're done.

I mean, you know, barring any major complications,

we're done.

- No leaks, system seems to be working.

Looks like we were all wrong about Matt.

- No, I don't think we were wrong, it wasn't-

- Well I mean, not totally wrong.

- It was never a question about skill,

just a question about judgment.

I'd never question this young man's skill.

- I would never tell you how to weld, dude.

You know, I don't know my a*s from a hole in the ground

when it comes to welding, but I know the car.

- [Juan] There you go.

- That's what I'm here for.

- [Juan] There you go, and I think that's great.

- [Presenter 2] To reward the excrement team

for their good progress.

Jesse rolls in some fat Toyo Tires.

- Yeah, wheels, right on.

- Are they gonna fit in the wheel well?

- [Jesse] Does a hobby horse have a wooden [bleep]?

- I dunno. [mechanics laugh]

- Cool, sweet, totally cool.

- I wanna take 'em, put 'em on my Pinto.

- [Jesse] Now it looks like a Rolls Royce.

- I can't catch you now.

You better take advantage of it while you can.

[men chuckling]

- Look at that.

Look it, you can tickle the m*dget.

You want a hug now for positive reinforcement?

You do?

All right. [harp plays]

- It's all right, all right.

- [Presenter] The Rolls Royce porta potty inspector

makes an unexpected visit.

- Hey, it's a skunk.

- Smells like victory.

- Hang on, I have just a thing for you.

Come here.

[fireworks pop]

- [Presenter] Jesse plays the ever welcoming host.

[fireworks continue popping]

- Get away from me. [Jesse laughs]

- [Presenter 2] With an entire build day left.

These builders have cranked out all the major work

and tomorrow should be a sweet breeze.

Unless someone makes a big 'stake.

- [Big Schwag] Jesse's looking to be number one

in the number two business.

Will he make it? Stay tuned.

[rock theme music]

- [Presenter 2] It smells like the final build day.

This crew has been potty trained well.

Today they'll just need to add the finishing touches

to their Excrementinator Monster.

- Well let's do it, final assemblies.

- [Presenter 2] But they're hit with a problem first off.

The second set of wheel adapters don't fit.

- Yeah, the holes are just too far off, dude.

They're not right.

This thing's gonna be oblong and c*ck.

It's one of those Fridays.

- Dun-dun-dun-dun.

Heavy drama in the Monster Garage.

Our gold hundred spokes are not fitting right.

If we would've checked them last night,

instead of waiting like today, like I said,

they'd have been on right now.

But you know, why do today what you could put off

'til tomorrow.

- Ready to go? Let's go.

- [Presenter] Matt takes the wheel adapters to Jesse's shop

to get the holes board out.

[funky music]

While the adapters are adapted,

Jesse takes the dealership's $250,000 Bentley for a spin.

- I'm a professional. [rock music]

[tires screech]

- I hope it comes back in one piece.

[music continues] [tires screech]

[Matt whistles]

- Hey, something's wrong with the Bentley, man.

Something's wrong, man.

Lets try to get the hood open, but its hot.

- [Presenter 2] If you're keeping count,

this is the second high-end luxury car Jesse has destroyed

during this build.

- This is no major deal.

[mechanics talk indistinctly]

- It looks like it's squirting from up here.

- You think blowing outta there?

- Look at these.

- Oh there it is, there it is.

- Told you. - See.

- That was broke when I got it.

[mechanics laugh]

I'm really sorry.

- Don't stress it, its a Bentley, don't worry about it,

it's fine.

- Radiator hood everywhere.

- Oh, it scared the [bleep] outta me.

I thought it was electrical smoke.

'Cause it went-

- Did it really?

- I thought, oh man, I don't wanna buy it.

- Can I put in a job application?

I'm probably gonna be fired on Monday.

- I'll hire you. - Cool, thanks.

[tools revving]

- That was a pretty tense situation.

We can't pump [bleep] without gold hundred spokes.

- I think we'll be all right.

[tools clang]

- That put the shim sham in our Shama Lama dingdong.

- Bling, bling.

- Let's do the one about the Rolls Royce [bleep] sucker.

[rock music]

- [Presenter 2] The Smut Peddlers

perform an uplifting number for the hardworking crew.

♪ I'm not encased in metal and I do not watch TV ♪

♪ I like my motorcycle because it helps me to feel free ♪

[lyrics are indistinct]

- Yeah, parts, yeah,

Teleporter, she really works.

- [Presenter 2] After all the fun

and skunk bashing is over,

the crew has a few last minute adjustments

before they can test their monster.

But then Gleek makes a critical mistake.

- I was sitting here going,

putting the last fitting on what he had given me to do,

the last fitting

and as I went to tighten it up, I snapped it.

And now that is the only pump,

there is no pump in Long Beach like that.

The pump right here, I can't even re-thread it, we're done.

That thread, it has to be replaced.

I dunno what else to do with it.

We just have to replace it.

- Its four o'clock right now,

We need to get another [bleep] pump on the way.

I'm stressing now.

[mechanics imitate fighting noises]

- It's not in the bag, you know, we're not done.

You know, we think, again,

I told you earlier in the week, you know, overconfident,

c*ck, you know by Wednesday we're done and all that.

But no, uh-uh.

- We need the fat lady to go singing for us.

- Not yet, not yet.

- [Presenter 2] It's super Bodie to the rescue.

He secures another pump from one of his porta-potty buddies.

- New pump.

Check it out, man.

[dramatic drum music]

Oh yeah.

God, that's bitching.

That's nice.

- Monster, Monster Garage.

[upbeat action music]

- Okay.

- That's like the car when you were a kid

and you pictured like a super expensive car.

Like what rich people drove.

When you're seven, that's what it looked like.

[rock music]

- We are in the big time now.

I knew someday I'd be driving me a Rolls Royce.

This thing looks good.

[music continues]

- [Presenter 2] Jesse Rolls his Royce out to the junkyard

where Porta-potties filled with water and chocolate pudding

await him.

- Throttle's sticking a little bit.

I ain't doing it.

I'm the throttle man.

Someone's gotta work the throttle.

[triumphant music]

- All right,

here we go.

That's good.

Easy.

Sucking like a pro, look at that.

- Is that real [bleep]?

- Flip the switch.

Oh yeah baby.

- You guys know you're [bleep].

We didn't get you guys tools,

we got you all packs of [indistinct]

- Well thanks man.

[water sludges] [men gag]

- Awesome. - Sick.

- What's wrong with your car?

I took a [bleep] out there on the highway.

- Literally.

- Every metaphor into one car.

- That's it, man. - Yes.

- Teamwork.

That's how you do it as a team.

[low-beat music]

- Thanks a lot.

Bodie.

Tony.

Good job guys. - Thanks man, thanks.

Mac Tools, Monster Garage CDs.

You guys had your [bleep] together this week,

I'm proud of you.

- Thanks man, it means a lot.

It means a lot coming from you, it really does.

- All right, I gotta go.

[men laugh]

- [Presenter 2] At West Coast Choppers,

Pete Finland gives the Rolls

the ultimate monster paint job.

He sprays a red metallic base coat over a pink sealer.

Then the entire car is drenched with candy apple red.

Pete tapes out the car

to create low rider lines.

And for the first time in monster garage history,

lace is introduced.

The pattern is sprayed on in gold.

- That's a lot of fanciness for a pump for [bleep].

- [Presenter 2] Then for the final royal treatment,

gold leaf scrolling.

This is what a $25,000 paint job looks like.

- We're gonna paint 'The Stinky" on the back in Spanish.

[rock music]

- [Presenter 2] Build cost tally,

vehicle cost $6,700,

build cost, $862

freebie, $15,450.

Total cost, $23,012.

[rock theme music]

- [Big Schwag] All right everyone,

the monster's about to hit the fan.

Big Schwag here to give you the play by play.

We're in the land of the rich and famous, Beverly Hills.

And Jesse James is rolling along in his new tricked out

Honey Wagon.

- [Frankie] What's a Honey Wagon, Schwag?

- [Big Schwag] That voice can only belong to one person.

Welcome back Frankie Whiteside.

- [Frankie] Good to be back Schwag.

- [Big Schwag] To answer your question, my old friend,

a honey wagon is something that can roll up

to a porta-potty,

suck it out and clean it up.

- [Frankie] Yuck.

Check out the big pimping paint job.

- [Big Schwag] Kudos for that got to master paint man

and pin striper, Pete Finland.

Good job, Pete.

[Old Western music]

[men grunting]

- Hey, take it easy on me in there.

- [Frankie] Who's that dude?

- [Big Schwag] He's a real life potty pumper.

- [Frankie] Tough job, but somebody's gotta do it, I guess.

- Hey, can you tell me where Brighton Street is?

- Oh, what's up?

You can't talk to a guy that drives a poop pumper?

It's all right, I hope your sewage backs up.

- [Big Schwag] Frank, he doesn't seem very happy.

- [Frankie] He's about to get a lot unhappier.

- [Big Schwag] Wait a minute, you gotta be kidding me.

Jesse's cutting him off.

- [Frankie] He's cutting in on the potty pumper's action.

[horns honking]

- [Big Schwag] Looks like Jesse wants nothing to do

with this one.

He's got Bodie from the build team to do his dirty work.

- Hey, get your poop pumper outta here guys.

[heavy metal music]

[horn honks]

- That's my poop.

- [Frankie] Bodie, for going above and beyond

the Call of doody.

Monster Garage salutes you.

- [Big Schwag] That's right, Frankie.

Just don't shake his hand.

- Man, that's the best clean job there is.

- Thank you, Jesse James.

Another job well done.

- Hey, what's up man?

You're taking my job.

Get your poop pumper outta here.

- [Big Schwag] Jesse's got no time

for Beverly Hills, sewage spills,

or British luxury cars that don't stink.

He's got metal to burn, sparks to fly.

The next Monster Garage challenge is just around,

what is it, Frank?

- [Frankie] The Bend.

[rock theme music]