01x06 - Golden Gals

[bunniefuu]

♪ Adventure Time ♪

♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪

♪ We'll go
to very distant lands ♪

♪ With Jake the Dog
and Finn the Human ♪

♪ The fun will never end ♪

♪ Adventure Time ♪

[whispering] Side quests.

[yawns] Dude, how can
you wake up so early?

We pulled an all-nighter
playing Boneyard Unicorn.

[chuckles] Old people have
a strong body clock.

Besides, today is
the annual pranking BMO Day.

Let me give you a little tour.
You see, he's gonna follow

a trail of shiny buttons,

only to be sucked up by a
giant leaf blower-slash-a-tube,

get snapped in
a humiliating pose,

while catapulting into
the Doom of Tickles.

The best part, this is only
chapter one out of ten.

You really topped yourself
this year.

- Proud of you, bro.
- [knocking at door]

- [all] Good morning.
- Um, the old lady village

is that way.

Good day.

Wait! Please help us,
young heroes.

Oh, sure.

We're running out of time.

The Granny Taker is going
to abduct us!

What?

The legend says that before
the Granny Taker comes for you,

you smell the stench of trash.

And when he bellows,
you can feel the flame

from his mouth envelop you!

This sounds like a job
for heroes.

Just leave the butt-kicking
to us.

- Yeah.
- Oh, heavens no.

We want you to train us
so we can do

the butt-kicking ourselves.

Train you?

No offense, but that sounds
like a terrible idea.

{\an8}Oh, please train us.

{\an8}I have too many suitors to say
goodbye to before I pass.

{\an8}- Well... Okay.
- What?

{\an8}Hold on.
I don't know about this, man.

{\an8}This is cutting into our BMO
pranking time.

{\an8}And we were going to get him
so good.

Oh, come on. BMO will probably
be stuck in the Doom of Tickles

for hours.

Let's go, G-Mas.
It's t-t-training time!

[exclaims]

Woo-hoo! We're going to get big
and strong.

Ugh, all right,
let's get it on.

- Woo-hoo!
- I love train rides.

- More buttons. [exclaiming]
- [leaf blower whirring]

[BMO laughing]

Okay, ladies,

we're at the traditional
warrior training grounds,

the pit.

Oh, honey, are we about
to fight like roosters?

Even better.
Jake, release the butt!

So, who's going first?

- [all screaming]
- Shiny. Too shiny. Too shiny!

Come on, let's go.
[farts] Oh, sorry.

Abort, Butt Man, abort.

Hey, thanks, Finn. Bye, Jake.

I'm sorry, Grams,
didn't mean to freak you out.

[Granny Nan]
Hey, look what I found, hags.

- A yoga ball.
- Oh, that feels so nice.

Perfect! You really get
elders' needs.

I thought you put it there.

[bird screeches]

- Oh, my glob!
- No, no, no! Get off that!

No, no, no, no! Don't eat them!

Sorry about the hiccup, ladies.

Becoming strong all starts
with core power.

So we're going to do


and 50 handstands.

Look at those glutes.

- Let's get to it, hags.
- Now drop and give me 50!

[blows whistle]

[yelping]

Oh, hot dog, I'm going it.

Oh, criminy,
my back. [yelps]

- One.
- Granny Nan!

Sugar snaps!

- Oh, toots! My leg!
- [bone cracks]

- [bone cracks]
- There I go again!

- Oh, now it's kind of fun.
- [bone cracks]

{\an8}[panting] Okay, let's try
something a little more basic.

{\an8}[all] Woo-hoo!

You just gotta hop over
the rock.

Easy as pie.

- Oh, my glob, are you okay?
- You tripped over a worm?

Granny Odlay!

What's the fuss
with this wriggler?

Ow, my back!

Granny Nan!

[all groaning]

Dude, a word?

Ah, those grannies, man,
they're untrainable.

Let's just get back
to pranking BMO.

No way. If we can't get
their tushies in tip-top shape,

the Granny Taker's gonna make
lunch meat

- out of these sweet old ladies.
- Aw, man, but BMO's about

to run into the... [mumbling]

- It's gonna be so cool!
- I know.

We just gotta pump up
those elderly hearts somehow.

Oh, I know!

What we need is...
a thumping inspiration!

[upbeat music playing]

Are you feeling a galloping
horse in your heart,

Granny Nan?

No, it's galloping in my head.
Turn that tune off.

{\an8}Uh-oh, the inspiration
is bombing.

{\an8}How do I turn them from zero
to hero instantly?

{\an8}Oh!

[grunts] Oh, oh, keep
that ditty on. It's helping.

{\an8}Oh.

Inspiration!

{\an8}Coming right up.

What? I'm doing it,
I'm doing it!

Oh, yeah!

Lookin' toight, lady.

{\an8}[grunts]

{\an8}Whoo-hoo!

Ooh!

They're doing it!

Jake! It worked!

Grams are super strong now!

We're warriors!

[all screaming]

Why are you so sweaty?

Hanging out with all
these oldies

must be giving me hot flashes
or something.

- What that?
- I'll tell you

when you're older.

And mission accomplished.
Let's go home already.

We can watch BMO drop
into the Jail of Ale.

But grams and I just started
having fun.

I'm going to have the grannies

pull the demon kitty's
whiskers.

- Bye-bye!
- What, now?

[cat yowling]

That was amazing! You gals
trashed that demon kitty!

What a demonic creature,
having swords for whiskers.

Good thing we plucked them
all out!

Whoa, Jake.
Keep it together, chubby.

[groaning]

Hmm. Better.
BMO, refreshment, please.

Of course, Finn.

Jake, today was the best
of all PBDS.

Can you end me in
the scorching lava next year?

[chuckles]

Look at BMO.

Gotta level with you,
Granny Nan.

I never knew hanging out
with elders could be

so much fun.
I thought getting old

meant turning into mush
and being boring.

Just waiting for you-know-who.

Oh, that's what most people
think.

But the truth is, we yearn
for adventure.

And romance.

And blood!

It's cranberry juice,
old person.

So what do we do now, Finn?

I thought it'd be good to learn
battle strategy.

And the best way to learn that
is by playing video games.

See here? She has
the clear advantage

since she's on higher ground.

Let me try that.

You got some fast fingers,
old lady.

Where did you learn that?

I used to do piano duels,
where you play

until one person dies.

- Rad!
- That's impressive, Odlay.

Does anyone else have
any special skills?

Well, I wouldn't call it
special,

but I used to wake up
my suitors like this.

Richard! Wake up!

Mathematical!
How about you, Nan?

Is knitting your thing?

Hmm? No, I just fancy making
handmade gifts

for my loved ones.

- Oh.
- And these are for you,

my dears.

- Oh!
- Oh, my glob!

Aw, it's just the perfect
amount of scratchy.

[all] Sneak attack.

[laughs] I love you too, grams.

Phew! BMO!

I am incapable of such a thing.

[grannies] The Granny Taker!

Ugh...

Yeah, that's the Granny Taker,
all right.

Uh, Finn?

Doesn't that Granny Taker look
a lot like the Grim Reaper?

The grannies can't fight
the Grim Reaper.

- No one can.
- Dude, chill.

The grannies defeated
Demon Kitty.

Have some faith
in our training.

They've got this.

No. It was me who defeated
Demon Kitty.

And I did the 100 push-ups
for 'em.

I was puppeteering them.

What?

I messed up, man.

But I really do care about
these golden gals now.

Oh, my glob, where'd they go?

- I'm coming, grannies!
- No, Jake!

Great coaches don't do
the fighting for their champs.

They encourage them.

Strange. Usually, I could break
things with just one kick.

Granny Beth,
forget about warrior skills.

- Just use your special skill.
- Your oldness!

- Embrace it!
- Huh?

This old stuff?

Well, you're the trainer.
Huzzah!

That's great!
Granny Nan, start knitting!

Huh?

Whoo-ha! Knit, knit, knit,
knit, knit, knit, knit.

[grunting] I need my weapon!

[piano music playing]

Aren't your ears bleeding yet?

How about this?

Take this!

Sneak attack!

[all grunting]

- Maybe just a little nudge?
- Okay.

Whoo!

[both] Bull's-eye!

[all cheering]

Grannies, you did it!
You rocked it!

Hop on the victory train,
everyone!

We won! We won!

Hooray! We won! We won!

We did it!

- [all exclaiming]
- Who the heck is this?

- Oopsie, it's Helga.
- You know her?

Yeah, she was...
she was in our knitting club.

But we kicked her out
because she was using

- too much yarn.
- It's sacrilegious.

Guess Helga wanted revenge.

Wow, the knitting on
this cloak is pretty nice.

Guess she could have taught us
a thing or two.

Too bad we k*lled her.

[closing theme song playing]

♪ Come along with me ♪

♪ And the butterflies
and bees ♪

♪ We can wander
through the forest ♪

♪ And do so as we please ♪