01x11 - Bird Friend

[bunniefuu]

[cheerful music playing]

[nibbling]

[in gibberish] Where can I get a knife…

[burbling]

[toilet flushing]

[in English] Hey, guess what I just did.

What's that?

[in gibberish] I dunno.
I found it on the floor.

Really, all of the floor salad is good.

[in English] No, I mean, what's that?

[in gibberish] It's private.

[in English] Well, yeah.
I know. It's my diary.

[scribbling]

[rustling]

[pops]

Wow. Pretty and purloin-y.

[in gibberish] These are MY secrets!
I don't have to tell you everything!

[in English] Okay.

[in gibberish] Respect my privacy!

[in English] I get it. Wait.

[rustling, thunks]

[burbling]

[birds chirping in distance]

[Bee screams]

[twittering]

[chirping]

Oh, gross!

[yelling]

-[chirping]
-Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

[Cardamon] Sticky, no!
Sticky, no! Sticky, no!

[pounding]

[cracks]

[shouting] Good morning, Merlin!

[typing]

[rustling]

[munching]

-[fizzes]
-[groans]

Looks okay.

[slurps]

[clicks]

[computer drones]

No! Ugh, come on! Work!

Come on! Please! I need an excuse
to stay in my room all day.

Cas! You're the smartest person I know!

Yeah, I know.

I need your help!

I'm in a…

Kinda in the middle of somethin'.

Please!

-[computer droning]
-I'm kinda busy.

Busy and smart.

[droning]

[powers down]

Oh, it's dead.

No. Sleepy.

-[cracking]
-See? Sleep mode.

[Toast grunts] Okay, then! Let's fight!

What?

[Toast] Oh, you didn't hear me?

Should I… [grunts]
…ma-turn-it-y up for you?

"Cas is ug--"

Whatever. I'm not gonna beat up
a pregnant woman.

If you won't fight me,
then I'll fight your room!

'Cause I'm fightin' for two now! Yeah!

[crashing]

[sighs] All right, I pick you.

I knew it.

Fight me and my baby!

[grunts]

Weird. I've never actually been in here.
It smells like…

[sniffs] It smells like you.

You've been here.

No, never.

Well… Okay.

Fix this.

What am I looking at?

His body's been kinda mushy lately.

But today, it is extra… eh, ugh, gross.

[in gibberish] Turn your eyes away
from my shame.

I can’t bear to be touched.
It’s like a thousand needles.

[warbling]

[munching]

That almond had so much dust on it,
it looked like a plum.

[in English] What did you do, Bee?

I assume you did
something weird to ruin this cat.

[in gibberish] I’m not a cat.

[sighs, in English] I…

What if I rolled over
and smooshed him in my sleep?

I mean, people do horrible things
when they are asleep.

[munches]

[in gibberish] I actually love
these dust almonds.

It’s like a bonbon with a surprise center.

[in English] My friend
is gonna make you better.

[energy pulsing]

[angrily] Spit it out.

[Cas] Uh-huh. Weird.

[PuppyCat in gibberish] I could do this
all day long!

-[thudding]
-[energy pulsing]

[in English] What's that noise?

[ambient music playing]

Whoa! Whoa!

[chiming]

[beeping]

[confetti cannon blasts]

Whoa. Cool stuff.

[warbling]

Aw. Should we pour water on him?

[in gibberish] Get away from me,
you dorks.

[sniffs, in English] Blech!

You know, Merlin's a doctor,

but I don't even think
he can help this thing.

[in gibberish] I'm a person.

[sentimental music playing]

[in English] I mean, hey, you know,
I mean, he seems happy enough.

See? Smile.

[in gibberish] BUUUUUUUURP

[warbling]

[in English] All right, then.
I did it. See ya.

[energy pulsing]

What am I gonna do today with no computer?

[dings]

Don't drop that dang baby on me!

[both grunting]

[Toast] Worried about my baby weight, Cas?

[Deckard] Don't do it!
Don't do it, Crispin!

Oh, I'm gonna do it. You can't stop me.

[Deckard] No! You're gonna ruin them!
They're perfect as is!

Well, you aren't here
to do it for me, are you?

No!

Oh wow.

-[grunts]
-[chomps, grunts]

-Good for baby!
-[grunting]

I'll make sure you end up
in traction, Castaspella.

Con-traction.

[grunts]

[Crispin] Why did I just stay
to eat chips?

Now it's too awkward to just leave.

Stupid idiot Crispin.

Stupid! Stupid!

Oh, good. They’re leaving.

[grunting]

[Cas grunts] Just keep that
squiggling jelly mountain off me!

[Toast] Kick, baby! Now!

[birds chirping]

[nibbling]

[scribbling]

[in gibberish] What?

[in English] I'm worried
it's gonna happen again.

[in gibberish] What’s gonna happen again?

[in English] Your body's gonna change.
The head part stays the same,

but then the body
turns into somethin' else.

[in gibberish] I'm still hungry.

Is there anything else
to eat on the floor?

Is that a taco shell?

[in English] No.

[in gibberish] This is
a completely deflated lemon.

[munching, rattling]

[inflating]

[in English] It's eating off the floor!

Eating off the floor
makes your body weird!

You gotta eat food off plates.

[in gibberish] NEVER.

Yeah, never.

BUUUUUUUURP

[deflates]

[in English] Well, at least
Cas showed us how to fix it.

[Toast] Is the stereotype
of maternal super strength accurate?

We don’t know, Cas.
Why don’t u-ter-us what you think?

-[grunts]
-[thuds]

We should get Cas a new laptop.

I dunno if she knows, but the laptop
I saw her using today was broken.

Aw, but she helped you.

-[jingles]
-[mystical tones chiming]

Yeah! New computer! Good job!

Whoa. Here, PuppyCat, grab some.
It might be edible.

[chewing]

[munching]

Wait. I forgot.
We only eat off plates now.

[in gibberish] Too late.

I had permission.

BUUUUUUUURP

[Bee in English] What's all this stuff?

It feels like I'm really full of salad.

Many temp workers
have already been engaged

for the crisis on Plant Nursery Planet.

Fall back for gear acquisition.

Aah!

Aah!

[funky music playing]

Oh, look. There's other temp workers here.

I want to leave.

[in gibberish] First
let’s make some money.

[in English] Let's do what they're doing.

[thuds]

-Hey!
-Oh, cute.

Ha ha! Look at this.

[in singsong] Here he comes.
Look at him go.

Are you my new buddy?

[chuckles]

Get out. You can go peaceful,
or you can be carried out.

I… What?

Cute.

Yeah, I guess.

Hey, move your foot. I'm just gonna…

Oh, I thought that was a root.
What's that? A stick?

Get out of here. We're not paying you.

Not everything is about getting paid.

Sometimes you just gotta work
for your own, you know, thing.

Or for other people’s thing.

Look how nice Stuart over here
is making it for you.

[twinkles]

Hey, we're telepathic and everything.

Don't tell me you care about us.

All you think about is taxes
and pooping everywhere.

I'm not thinking about
either of those things, ever.

I know you are.

Well, I was thinking about
finding a bathroom.

If I can find a bathroom.

You'd poop anywhere.

Stuart!

[twinkles]

Did you say…?

-[snail] Don't do it.
-[Bee] Did you say…?

That feels so gross.

I know what you're thinking.
And no, you're not getting paid.

[in gibberish] Well then, we’re leaving!

[low rumbling]

[in English] Hey, what?

Hey! Bad! Drop it! Aah!

What’s chasing us?

-PuppyCat, do you--
-[munches]

No more eating stuff off the floo-- Whoa!

[rumbling]

Hey, what did you eat?

[in gibberish] NOTHING! DON'T LOOK AT ME!

[jaunty music playing]

[muffled, in English] Oh my God!

[breathing heavily, grunting]

[bird caws]

[breathing heavily]

-Ow!
-[pecks]

[gags, smacks lips]

I can't believe that was my first kiss.

[funky music playing]

Hey, tell me what he ate.

[snail] We're not helping you.
We don't even want you here.

I don't wanna be here,

but we're gonna be stuck here
until my friend can fit in that mouth.

No one's leaving
until that brush is cleared.

Don't touch it. It's fine.

It needs to be taken care of now,

or it'll just keep getting
bigger and bigger.

It's already spreading into Temp Space.

[chimes]

Look. Stuart finished. Wow.

-[twinkles]
-What?

Good job.

Aah!

Can I borrow this pole?

Aah! [gulps]

[Bee grunts]

Not long enough.
Hey, can I borrow your pole?

When I'm done.

But I'm not gonna be done for a while.

I don't wanna be doing this for free,
so I'm gonna take my time.

Time is money.

[softly] And I want money.

-[worker 1] Yeah, we do too.
-[worker 2] Me too!

We can't all be like Stuart.

We're picking slower than it's growing.

Oh well.

Fine. I'll do it.

Move! Move!

I forgot to make a paddle.

[dings]

[chiming]

[Bee grunts]

[dinging]

[chiming]

[Bee grunts]

Hmm?

Hey, it’s Cas.

Wesley, it’s Cas!

-[phone beeping, ringing]
-Oh, good. You're calling her.

Cas!

-Cas! Cas!
-[phone ringing]

-Cas! Cas! Cas!
-[bird squawking]

Oh no. She's gone deaf again.

-[phone ringing]
-[engine revs]

-Cas!
-[Cas groans]

[ringing continues]

[Merlin] You paddle fast!

[thunks]

Hi, Cas.

Oh. Hi, Merlin. I didn't see you.

Wesley's teaching me how to fish.

It's a dad thing.
It’s boring. Wanna join us?

No, I'm trying to get back to work,
but this thing got in my way.

Oh yeah. I caught something like that.
Wesley says they belong to Bee.

[Cas] Yeah, I could tell.
It matches the stuff in her room.

Well, bye.

-Wait! We can give you a ride!
-[squawks]

I wish I liked being a doctor

as much as Cas likes sitting
in front of a computer.

[Cas] Get out of my way!

[dinging rapidly]

[chiming]

[worker chuckling]

Almost there. Just need a few more poles.

Oh, there are no more.

I did it. I did work.

Even after all that work, it’s not enough.

We’re stuck here.

[booming, in gibberish] Well,
I mean, you’re small enough to fit.

[in English] Doesn't matter.
We live here now.

Make way! Make way!

Look at my new shell. We love it.

Sorry for giving you the hassle.

You can leave now.

No, I can't.

Yes, you can! Go away!

Ew. Ugh.

Oh, you really can't leave,
because of your big friend.

I don't know what to do now.

I don’t know how to turn him normal again.

I don’t know why
he keeps eating all these things

that make him all mushy and weird.

Ugh. I--

[snail] Oh!

We can tell you.

-[Bee] No!
-[smacks]

Don’t tell me.

His reason for stress eating
is his secret.

He’ll tell me if he wants me to.

Well, we’ll at least tell you
that what he ate was an old sock.

[in gibberish] LIAR! IT WAS A NOODLE!

[in English] We do not lie!

We are incapable
of this thing you call… lying.

I lie all the time. It’s fun.

It’s fun for me and it's fun
for the people I’m lying to.

I tell them I’m sick, and then I secretly
move to a new town without telling anyone.

And then, after a while,

my old friends
who think I’m dead see me on TV

with a new hat and a color
that looks really, really good on me.

[in gibberish] You're all liars!

[in English] PuppyCat, you don’t have
to tell me anything you don’t want to.

I’m just worried your secrets
are making you stress-eat

and hurting your body.

I just want you to know
there’s nothing you could tell me

that would make me change
how I feel about you.

Because I’m kinda dumb.

There. That’s my only secret.

Now you know everything about me.

[PuppyCat in gibberish] That’s not
really a secret.

You’re only dumb sometimes
about some things.

Besides,

everyone is dumb in their own way,

so that’s not a secret.

It’s just a universal truth.

[in English] I love you, PuppyCat.

[in gibberish] Ugh.

[sighs, sniffs]

We're in so much trouble!

[in English] What?

[in gibberish] I’ve been
in trouble forever,

but now you’re here,

and all these things
that were after me are now after us,

and I didn’t wanna tell you,

but now I’m telling you!

[in English] Oh!
PuppyCat, you’re an ugly crier.

[in gibberish] What is wrong with yo--

BUUUUUUUURP

[funky music playing]

[in English] Oh wow!
You feel so light now!

Good. Now git!

[TempBot] Aah!

I guess they're not paying us for reals.

-[knocking on door]
-[gentle music playing]

[crickets chirping]

[slurps]

Hey, I… I found this.
I thought I'd bring it back.

Oh, I have something for you too.

I mean, you really helped us out today.
You didn't have to be so nice.

No, thanks. I don't want--

Wait.

[chimes]

Oh yeah. I definitely want this.

Oh, both of them?

Yeah, okay. Uh…

So, uh, how have you been?

I haven't really "talked" talked
to you in a while.

Uh, yeah.

I don't really talk to anyone
since you made Deckard leave.

Um…

Uh, okay. See you.

Oh, wait. Um… Well, I…
I had my first kiss today.

The bird?

Well, I don't think that counts
since birds don't have lips.

Huh. That's true.

You're pretty smart.

See ya.

[Cardamon] Sticky, no. Sticky, no.

Hey! My boyfriend!

I… I mean, bird friend! Bird friend!

[birds twittering]

[thuds]

[Cardamon] Sticky,
you can't keep gathering up

all the birds
and putting them in your jail.

[glass shatters]

[twittering]

Most of them are innocent.

Most of them.

[whimsical theme music playing]