03x04 - I Hate All of These People

[bunniefuu]

[howling]

Joel: Previously
on House of Villains.

- I have to put you up
as a decoy.

Paul's my Hit List decoy

to mask our red and orange
room alliance.

- I feel like we're more on
the same page than I suspected.

- In a vote of five to three,

the first villain to be banished
from the house is

Jackie.

Drink the toxic tea and die.

Christine: sh*t.

- f*ck you.
- [laughs]

If you wanna be supervillain,

I'll drink it right now.

- Do it.
- Okay.

- Johnny,
you are the supervillain.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- He's worried about you.

- m*therf*cker, what?

Tom is right.

I voted for Christine
to go home,

and that's the f*cking problem.

Let's toss a wrench in the mix.

If I was supervillain,
I would put Tom up there.

- Tom, I wanted to throw you down
as a nomination.

- Really? What's going on?

What's y'all doing?
- Congrats.

This cheap trinket makes you

the right hand
of the supervillain.

Let them know
you'll be making this week's

Hit List nominations together!
- [screams]

- Maybe this is a chance for me
to take a real shot at someone.

- Please don't put me
in the bottom three.

Plane Jane's vote is
a question mark right now.

Why don't we get rid
of a question mark vote?

- If we put Plane Jane up...

- Tiffany will be
the first nominee.

Kate and Plane Jane.

Plane Jane: I should have
known better than to trust

a low-budget
Drake impersonator. Paul.

I feel really betrayed
by Paul.

Right hand of the supervillain,
you share the responsibility.

You're hideous.

[intense music playing]

- Wow. [scoffs] Ha.

- A real f*cking tough guys
in this house.

- These boys really feel
like big men, honey,

putting two women
and the drag queen

up for elimination.

Paul can kiss our friendship
goodbye.

He crossed
the wrong f*cking b*tch.

- No, Paul, don't come over here

with your mouth halfway open.
- Hold up.

- 'Cause we don't wanna hear
what you have to say.

- I don't wanna hear from you
right now, Paul.

Tiffany: I'm out for blood

because Paul had that hand,

and he didn't do anything
with it.

Instead,
Paul used his right hand

to stroke Johnny.

- You're a lying-a*s b*tch.

I don't wanna hear from you.
- I'm not, though.

- You are. Yes, you are.
- I'm not.

I'm simply not.

Why did I catch more heat
than Johnny?

He was the supervillain,
he made the nominations,

I just signed off on it.

Awesome, awesome, never again
am I eating a pizza

in my f*cking life again, okay?

Tom, come on, bro.
- I just wanna say thank you.

Thank you for not...
- And then I got f*cking exposed

like that, and--
like, couldn't you guys, like,

stand up for me?

I didn't ask for this sh*t.

I was so close
to getting Tom up there.

Why did I let the guy
with muscles make any decision?

Guys with muscles
are typically not smart.

woman: Ooh.

- Why are you so bold when...
- What got to me is that

you know how much this
opportunity means to me.

- Yes, I know that.
Trust me, I know that.

Why did you not have any
conversation with me be--that--

before calling me a liar?
- 'Cause you are.

She already saw you.
- So where's the proof?

Tell me you hate me, say that,

but don't call me a liar.

Call me a rat.
- It's baseless, for real.

- It's baseless as f*ck.

[lion growling]

- Thank you.

Suppose you [indistinct]

I know. I know.

You better f*cking stand
on your sh*t now.

I will. I know.

We'll stick together.
We're good.

That was a very close call.

And Johnny, you're acting
like you're doing me a favor

by honoring your alliance?

That's bullshit, man.

If you put me on that Hit List,
you would have watched me

literally recruit everybody
against them.

- A frazzled Tom is not
a pleasant Tom to be around.

He wants to make a move
right now.

But I know that we have
to bide our time.

Johnny and Paul
have only showed me

that they're unstable.

Tom: Yes.

- But we gotta wait
and decide to do it together.

- That whole scene was a lot.

That was a lot of information.

- You lied to my face.
- When?

I thought that we had a thing.
You lied to my face.

- We did this, this is before
I got this sh*t.

- Plane, I guess was making
alliances with everybody.

- I knew that.

- That side of the house has
got a lot of sh*t going on

that we didn't know about.

Our side is crumbling.
You know that, right?

Kate: Uh, what's that?

Drita: Our side is crumbling,
I'm saying.

Kate: Uh-huh.
- Like, you guys were both up.

You're on our side.

- No, no, no.
And I knew.

When Plane went downstairs
to the room,

I knew the boys were like,

okay, let's get Plane away
from Christine.

And like, you know,
I don't know.

- What? That was what
I'd like to call "word salad".

I don't know what the f*ck
you're talking about.

Respectfully, what?

Christine likes to speak
her mind,

which isn't much.

- As soon as we weren't
roommates anymore,

like Plane really wasn't around.

- How much did you bond
in the first two hours?

- I think we're on
different TV shows.

- What's that?

- Yeah.
- But whatever.

- Here, need a hand?

- Oh.
- They're twisted.

- Absolutely, it's [indistinct]

This is such a b*tch to put on.

- Yeah, 'cause it's f*cking...

[squeaking]

- Of course.

- And Kate,
what's this obsession

about this whole
JoJo Siwa thing?

- Yeah, you were so rude to me.
Like, I didn't know

you were such a JoJo Siwa fan

is what I meant.

- In the conversation
I was having with Kate

about JoJo Siwa,

it did not come across
rude whatsoever.

- JoJo Siwa, is she broke

because f*ck,
she should be rich.

She was poor.
She was like a child...

- She is rich.
- I don't know,

'cause she just did
Special Forces.

Johnny: It was only 10 days
of your life

you might get a crazy check
from it,

and you're putting your face
back out there.

She's made that up
completely.

I don't really want a person
like that in the house.

- It's really nice to hear you
speak so much.

I wish we could also do that
about other topics.

- I mean, it's not too late.
- Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe tomorrow.
Johnny: Maybe.

I'm always here.
We're in the same house.

Kate: What do you know about me?

I've asked you so much.

Johnny: Matter of fact,
I can tell you a lot.

You started off
working on yachts

right out of college,

and then you went
on "Below the Deck."

Kate: What's the point?
I'm already on the Hit List.

Leave me alone.

Heading into tomorrow's
redemption challenge,

I give no f*ck.

New York.

Do I wanna stay? Sure.

Do I also wanna get
the f*ck out of here

because I'm in a house
full of lunatics?

Also, yes.

Professional wrestling
would be an upgrade.

It would have more dignity.

[upbeat music playing]

- If we were animals...
- Yeah.

- ...which animal would we be?

- You were a swan.

- Oh, my God. Thank you.

Johnny: You were a camel.

Tyson: What was Tom?
- I was thinking

some sort of reptile.

[rattling]

- Totally.
Johnny: Or, uh, you know,

what's the guy from,
uh, "Monsters Inc.?"

- Yeah, the slithery one.
The slimy slithery one.

- What?
Christine: Oh, oh, oh, oh.

- Randall.
- Randall. Randall.

He could turn invisible.
- Oh, yeah.

- You think he's like Randall?
Johnny: Yeah.

I don't know.
You just give me Randall vibes.

I don't know.
- What the f*ck, dude?

- The purple guy
that can go invisible.

- Slithers around,
and it's like...

[hissing]
Drita: And then he goes...

- Pops up, he's like...
[hissing]

Tom: I've been a good guy.

I've been a team player.

You're the one being
the f*cking reptile, man.

I might not be
on the Hit List, but Johnny,

the damage
has been done, man.

I'm coming after your a*s

and your little
right-hand b*tch, Paul.

[hissing]

- Well, you know what?

I'm glad I...
- Win the challenge,

and if you don't win
the challenge,

let's rally the house
to get you back in.

- I appreciate it.
- Okay?

- I'm gonna try my best.

I'm not gonna f*cking
roll over and die

because Thing One and Thing Two

put me in the f*cking bottom.
No.

I'm determined to win
this redemption challenge,

and when I come back
into this house

I'm f*cking coming at them.

[chuckles]

Let the games begin.

Good night.

[upbeat music playing]

- It's hot in here.

- 'Cause usually
we have it really cold.

- Yeah, it's what I saw.

- Did you feel like you took
a lot of heat last night

for unknown reasons?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, I didn't like that.

I don't think
I said it was Kate at all.

I could tell.
She goes, "I don't think so.

I think it was, Paul."
- No, I appreciate you.

- You could come in here,
New York.

- I don't think she wants to.
- This is my bedroom.

You can come in here.

I know I can come in here.

Waking up in this house
on the Hit List,

I feel like the whole
entire world is against me.

So can you really blame me
for not wanting to see Drita

coming around my bedroom
this morning?

- I thought you were waiting,
'cause you don't wanna film.

- No, no. I'm giving two women
time to talk.

For all I know,

she's pledging her loyalty
to Kate right now.

Of course, I'm coming here.

I don't do things
on your quarter, girl.

- Get out of my room.
Stop making a scene.

Don't have a really
aggressive fight.

But I'm just laying here
without washing my face.

It's rude.

Drita:
Why are you getting defensive?

Tiffany: Because don't tell me
I'm coming here

and this is my bedroom.
- I was leaving anyway.

- Well, Drita, you want me
to go home before you.

You know you want me to leave.

- I never said a f*cking word.

Who said that?
- No, okay.

- No, I'd like the truth.

The one thing that gets
on my nerves more than anything

is the lies, the schemes,
the bullshit.

And the more you come at me,

and the more you wanna f*cking
get busy with it, I'm there.

I don't lie.
If I want you to go home,

I'd f*cking say
I want you to go home!

You're a product
of your environment.

So if I act like a villain,
it's really not my fault.

Whoever f*cking told New York
I wanted her go home,

I want you in my f*cking room.
- There it is.

- What little f*cking rat,
c**t said that?

Kate: My favorite thing
in this world

is watching Drita pop off.

- And you don't know me
when I get f*cking nasty.

- It's like a beautiful,
classical song of expletives.

- f*ck outta here.

Think I'm a p*ssy-a*s
m*therf*cker.

You got the wrong m*therf*cker.

Think I'm f*cking scared
of any-m*therf*cking-body

in this house.

f*cking, p*ssy-a*s, sh*t,

m*therf*cker, c**t.

You think I give a f*ck?

What little f*cking rat.

p*ssy-a*s m*therf*cker.

Now I'm gonna dress
like a f*cking hood rat,

'cause I'm in the mood
to be one.

[explosions]

[classical music playing]

- I thought it was funny
how, um, Kate

was trying to insult me
by telling me

that I'm from "Love Island."

I think Kate needs to get
the f*ck up out of here.

Out of the three nominees,
I want Kate to go home

just because I don't want that
type of energy in the house.

And, bro, I'm the supervillain.

I'm really the one
calling the shots.

So, I need her out of here.

Who is the famous person
she's talking about?

- Oh, JoJo Siwa.

- I genuinely don't know
who JoJo Siwa is.

- Johnny likes to act like
he's not fazed by much.

- She's like, "If I was her,

you know, like--
and I made all that money,

then I'd probably just
wouldn't be doing reality TV."

- If he could calm down the ego
just a little bit,

he would be 10 times hotter.

- She's like,
"You're being rude to me."

I'm like, "What the f*ck
are you talking about?

- Just that he's good-looking.

[laughing]

Johnny: Yeah.
- I thought the best one

was the off-brand Drake.

Yeah.
- That one got--that one got you.

That one stung.

You know what I mean?

[laughs]
- Yeah.

Paul: Thoughts on the shirt?
- Don't worry, Paul.

I will never dress
anything like you.

- You're not f*cking
with the shirt?

[chiming]

Joel: Hello, villains.

Paul: I just woke up, guys.
Please.

- Here we go.
Joel: It is time once again

for another challenge.

So, go to the snake room.

It'll all make sense soon.

- I'm ready for the challenge.
- We'll me too.

Kate: What the f*ck is that?

Paul: Is this a glory hole?

- Oh, hi, villains.
How are you? Come on in.

Plane Jane:
Going into this challenge,

I truly feel as nervous
and delicate

as stepping up to the doorstep

of that first d*ck appointment
that lost me my virginity.

[dolls chuckling]

- This might be the strangest
redemption challenge yet.

- I feel like my cherry
is being popped all over again.

- Welcome to
the redemption challenge.

- Let's do it.
Bring it on.

- The name of the challenge
is Know Thy Enemy.

[intense music playing]

- Every great villain is a master
at knowing their enemy,

their strengths,
their weaknesses,

and obviously, the relative
shape of their faces.

Here's how it all works.

We're going to put all of
the non-Hit List villains

in boxes
where they can't be seen.

Then, one at a time,
the villains on the Hit List

will reach into those boxes

and feel their faces.

Yeah. It'll be great.

Yeah.

And feel their faces to try

and identify who is who.

In order to lock in
your guesses,

place the villain's puppet

on top of the box

that you think contains
that villain's head.

When you're confident
in your choices, say done.

The player who identifies
the most faces correctly wins.

If there's a tie, whoever
has the fastest time wins.

Okay. Hit List villains,
here's a sentence

I never thought I'd say before.

Get ready to touch your way
to redemption.

All right, guys.
You get out of here

while we put them
into these things.

Drita: Before this morning,
me and New York were good.

But now, she got
my blood pressure up,

pissed me off.

I hope she loses this
redemption challenge.

I want her out.

- Ready, set, face fondle.

[upbeat music playing]

- Oh, wait, wait. Okay.

I'm gonna take my time with you.

- We got some chin hairs.
- [chuckles]

- Every woman gets a couple
stray hairs. Every woman.

Plane Jane: Is this a dude?

This might be Tom.

Okay. This is Tom, honey.
Uh-hmm.

I can feel his chin implant on.

This is Tom. This is Tom.

Tom is an aging man

who's trying to pass off as,
like, a pubescent child.

- Woo! Oh, she's just
this thin and creamy.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

I don't know

if this is Drita
or Christine,

but I feel like there's
a few villains in this house

that are either skipping
breakfast or lunch.

It's like feed the children
times 12.

Oh, it's a small nose.

But I feel an Adam's apple.

- These gloves are taking away
some of the feeling.

I guess I can never argue
with a man

who says it feels better
without a glove.

- Okay. This is Drita.

I'm going for it.
[dings]

- Okay. This is Johnny.

- You just beheaded that person.

[dings]

- Oh, what?

Oh, never mind.
- Uh, my wife's a beard.

Plane Jane: Oh, my God.
This is hard. sh*t.

It's a little bit harder for me

to distinguish the girls
than I thought it would be.

I'm trying to feel for,
like, the lip filler.

Listen, honey, I'm not used
to touching women's lips.

f*ck.
- All right.

That reminds me
of my lower region.

All right.

[dings]
- Uh-hmm.

[dings]

- This is f*cking Tyson.

I'm rushing.
I'm feeling rushed.

This is--

I don't want my timing
to be the reason that I lose.

So, may Jesus take the wheel.

sh*t. This is, um...

- The weirdest thing
I've been a part of.

- This.
[dings]

- Wait. Was I right?
Let me see.

Oh, I hope so.

[dings]

- Christine.
[buzz]

- Oh, oh.
He like to go down on popsicles.

I feel like I'm in the game.

[dings]
- I feel like I'm dead.

Gosh, I hope I'm right
with this.

Do I have time to switch it
around again?

- Ashley.
[buzz]

- Drita. Done.
[buzz]

- Done!

[buzz]
- Done.

Joel: Okay.
- Whoo.

Some of you girls have beards.

Get a better waxer.
- [mouthing]

- This is so hard, you guys.

Kate: I'm a little bit nervous

that I probably
mixed a few up

because if I had taken
a little bit more time,

I probably could have
gotten it perfect.

But I knew that
having a quick time

was also important.

Whatever. It's math.

Joel: Let's see how you did.

First box is...

- I'm a girl.
- Oh, my God.

- [laughs]

- New York and Kate,

you got this right.

Plane got it wrong.
- Drita.

[dings]

- Congratulations.
Everyone got this right.

- Okay.
- Oh, good!

Joel: Number three.

Congratulations.
Everyone got Tom right.

[dings]
- Okay.

Kate: Oh.
- Congratulations.

Everyone got this right.

[dings]

Three, two...

Plane Jane: Ah.

Joel: No one got
Christine right.

[dings]
- I'm done. It's a wrap.

- It's Johnny.
Congratulations.

Everyone got Johnny right.
- Big surprise.

[dings]
Joel: At this point, everyone,

Plane Jane has two wrongs.

New York and Kate
have one wrong.

- I'm done.

- It all comes down to this box.

- Damn.
- Oh.

- It's Drita.

All three of you confused
Christine and Drita.

- Where in hell
do I feel like Christine?

Do I have a tire
in my f*cking lip?

No.

- Wow.
- Wow.

- Which means, Kate, New York,

you are tied.
- Okay.

- It has to come down to time.

One of you is 14 seconds
faster than the other.

That person will be getting
off the Hit List.

[dramatic music playing]

[intense music playing]

- All right. Congratulations...

- ...Kate.
Johnny: Ooh.

Joel: 14 seconds faster.
You are off the Hit List.

- I could tell by the looks
on the faces when I won

that perhaps I was the main one
they wanted out.

Tiffany: Good for you.
- Thank you.

So, I feel a new sense of energy

now that I'm seeking revenge.

- Sorry, New York
and Plane Jane.

You are still in danger
of being banished.

This is really weird.

Bye, guys.
- Bye, Joel.

- Bye, Joel.
- Eat it, Alan Cumming.

Kate: The amount of squirming
I'm about to watch,

it's thrilling.

- Damn, I was really hoping Kate

was at the bottom.
- I know.

- f*ck.

- RBF Kate is f*cking
demon over there.

- So, what are you guys thinking?

- I'm gonna be honest with you.

- I'm gonna give Ashley
a razor after this...

- And you think
that Plane's gonna put y'all

before f*cking Tyson?

- They're...
- I forget that.

- So ideally,
Plane goes home right now?

Paul:
It's only gonna get you, dude.

- [chuckles]

- Good job, guys.
- Thank you.

- Cheers.
- Hmm.

Tiffany:
Plane is a huge competitor.

I really hope my housemates
know what they need to do.

- They're about to make us pack
and everything, girl.

- Oh, I love that.
- I know.

But I'm not going to grovel

and plead for protection.

I'm the HBIC.
I don't lower myself.

I'm not gonna act
like a commoner.

Was it fun for you
feeling everyone up?

- It was definitely fun.

Since we've been in this house,

I haven't felt
any man up like that.

Paul: I've never dated like a
reality TV person, you know?

Johnny: Yeah.
I typically only like to date,

like supermodels.

[laughter]

- These people are clamoring
for money,

for attention, which I am too.

But it's more to me
than just that.

Like, growing up in
a Russian-Jewish community

where being a flamboyant
g*y boy was a big no-no

is, you know,
the biggest adversity

that I faced in my life,

and I'm doing this
to show him that,

look at what we've become.

You know,
a strong f*cking warrior.

So, I'm gonna fight like hell
to stay in this house,

not just for me,
but for that little kid.

I need to stay, like,
over her, I'm sorry.

And also, like, the person
who left second last season

was, like, some,
like, old balding man.

- Richard Hatch!

- You nasty b*stards
and b*tches!

- I don't think you should worry.
- You don't think so?

Christine: No.
- Nah.

I want Plane to stay.

New York pissed me off
this morning.

Almost beat up the house
'cause of her.

So, duh,
I'm gonna banish New York.

Are you bugging?

My votes are easy.

- Moving forward...

- Okay.
- ...I think best-case scenario,

Plane goes home.
- Okay.

- I'm gonna tell you
'cause New York is,

like, kind of a floater
and she's already

butting heads with Drita.
- Yeah.

- All right.
So, cheeseburger sauce.

All the condiments...
- Yeah. Love it.

- ...bring that out.

I'm in a house with a bunch
of jerk-offs that can't cook.

So, cooking for me
is part of my strategy.

I mean,
it's common f*cking sense.

You wanna vote me out,

you're gonna starve to death.

I was like where...
Tom: Thank you for cooking.

I really appreciate it.
Thank you.

- A little pepper?
- Oh, you're welcome.

- Johnny, your burger's ready.

Did Kate say what she wanted?

- Drita said that Johnny's burger
is ready, I think.

- You better go get him.

- I don't wanna go get him.
- Why?

- I'm, I'm scared to go
over there. It's just...

- Why?
- It's just weird energy.

- Do you want a burger?

If you don't, you guys are gonna
have to tell me what yous want.

You gotta come out

because I'm not
your f*cking servant.

- Oh, yeah.
I'm not doing that.

I think Drita is
playing this game

by clogging everyone's arteries.

That's not the hostess
with the mostess.

That's the hostess
that needs an exorcism.

My hips are wider
than they were before

I walked in here,
and I don't like that.

So, even though
I'm up on the Hit List,

I will not be sitting down,

dining to any more
of Drita's meals.

You're supposed to cook
with love

and understanding and care.

This ain't Alcatraz.

- So, it's Plane
and New York. Yeah.

The three up there
want Plane out.

- They do?
- Uh-hmm.

- But I really love Plane Jane.

- Yeah.

Tom: It's hard.

- Um, we gotta find out
what the number's like.

- Yeah. The fact that
they were gonna put me up on,

like, elimination,
that is, like,

f*cking insane.
Tyson: Yes.

- There's a lot of
power-flexing going on

when it comes to
Johnny and Paul.

And everybody's just
sort of cowering to them.

But I don't trust them.

The only person I trust
is me.

♪ Oh, whoa, oh, whoa ♪

♪ Are we disappointed? ♪

[applause]
Tom: Oh, and Tyson.

[laughs]

What they did to me
was so f*cked up.

- It was.
- And like--

- And the fact that they still
think you're with them

after they ran you
through that is...

- Wild. Yeah.
- ...crazy.

So, I think
we're in a good position.

We can go any direction we want.

[laughter]

- I think I might throw a party.

- You should.

Kate: It'll be good for morale.

The people in this house,

they don't know
who I really am.

The hostess with the mostess.

man: Kate, did you have
anything to do

with that p*nis on the bed?

- I made a rocket ship.

Have you ever seen one of these?

- Yes. It's a giant p*nis.

- That's right.

I won. You wanted me gone.

So, guess what?

I wanna gloat

and also forced them
to celebrate

the fact that I'm safe.

Every person's gonna have one.

And that's how they know
we're having a d*ck party.

Cue the dicks.

You get a d*ck.

You get a d*ck.

You get a d*ck.
- Is that a p*nis?

I'll blow that up.
- Ashley, calm down.

Johnny: If that's a p*nis,
I'm good on it.

Kate:
You don't want no parts of it.

- I got my own.
- You're not

confident in your sexuality?

- Can you at least find an outlet
for the pump?

Johnny: Now that Kate
is out of the running,

it's just really
my worst nightmare.

Ashley: Ooh, having trouble?

- Don't say it.
This is like a...

- I'll get it.
Kate: Do it! Do it!

- Kate, you would bring

a whole bunch of dicks
to a party.

- Uh, yeah.
I'm looking at them.

Paul: Okay.

[upbeat music playing]

- Now, do you wanna do
a performance?

- I'm gonna have to do
a little burlesque, aren't I?

- Okay. Well, this--
I'm very grateful

'cause it's adding a little
something to my party.

- Fantastic. It's a win-win.
- I love this. I know.

- Can I count on your vote
tomorrow, Kate if I...

Kate: Well, let's just see
how your performance goes.

Plane Jane: Yeah. Okay.

Christine: After that Paul
and Plane meltdown

at the Hit List ceremony,

it's clear people are making
alliances behind my back.

Can I please
just do my makeup, guys?

Seriously, like,
this is really annoying.

And I am stressed
to say the least.

I don't know
what's going on.

But I assure you,
I will find out.

- Tomorrow, when we have to vote
for banishment,

who are you leaning towards,
New York or Plane?

- Excuse me. Oh, coming through.

Excuse me. Don't mind me.
- Oh, hi! Oh.

- I don't know.

- But potentially?

- It's putting everyone in

a really weird spot right now.
- Wow.

Christine: My vote isn't
anyone else's business,

but my own.

So I'm keeping my cards
really close to my chest,

even if I don't know
what those cards are.

Right. Well, if you're here
to give me information,

I will take that.
- Uh-hmm.

You don't feel comfortable
sharing with me, huh?

Plane Jane: Kate.

Johnny: You don't?
Plane Jane: Kate.

- I don't even have a vote.

Do you realize that?

- Yeah.

- So, I mean, if it comes down
to like a tie,

I think maybe it falls
on me and Paul

to, like, be the tiebreaker.

- Yeah, that's not how it works, actually.

It works by time.

So if there's a tiebreaker,
Kate wins.

- What are you talking about?

I'm talking about the vote.
- Oh, okay.

- What the hell did you think
I was talking about?

Christine's not making sense
about anything.

You know, I was hoping
me and Christine

would maybe even flirt a
little bit, I don't know,

have a good conversation,
but instead...

try my best to understand
what you're saying,

but you're just not
being clear at all.

- Okay.

- She doesn't really know
what's going on.

There's two and then one.

Tom: I don't get it.

Christine is just like...

I don't know
who's behind the wheel

of that car sometimes.

- There's no
strategic conversations

on our side of the house,
that's for sure.

- I don't think
she has her fingers

on the pulse of the game.

- When I find out things,

I'm just like, "Oh, wow."

- And people just take her
as talking

for just, like, talking.

- Excuse me?
- Right?

- I think Christine
just wants attention.

Did you come up here
to talk about something?

- I'm not gonna lie.
I'm still shocked I'm here.

Like, slay.

[insects chirping]

♪ Oh, oh, ♪
♪ I gotta get it on... ♪

- Are those real?

- Hey.

- I wanna get sausage. Ugh.

♪ I gotta get it up ♪
♪ And get on town ♪

♪ Gotta get it up ♪
♪ And get on town ♪

- Oh.

Yeah.

♪ Vibes on the place, ♪
♪ Yo, blow your mind ♪

- What? You have a lot
of facial hair for a woman.

♪ I want a party now ♪
♪ And feel fine... ♪

My strategy is to put on
a fabulous show tonight

and hope and pray
that the entrainment value

that I bring to this house

convinces everyone
to let me stay.

Now that everyone's gathered,

I need to do my reveal.

- Can you help me lead everyone

to the other side of the pool
where you guys were,

because that's where
her grand finale?

Ashley: Okay.

- Plane is to dance
for her survival

and that's great for me because
my party needs entertainment.

[dramatic music playing]

Plane Jane: I'm Plane
the p*nis Party Clown,

and I'm here
to f*ck you b*tches up.

The time has come for me
to lip-sync for my life.

Except I can't,
because this show

can't afford real music.

Tiffany: It's b*mb.
Tom: Uh-oh.

Ashley: Oh.
Tiffany: Oh.

Woo.

Oh, take it off, Mama.

Take it off.

- Live your dreams.
Live your dreams.

Tyson: Careful, Paul.
Tom: Seize the day.

Seize the day.

Tyson: Hold them, yeah.

- Oh!

- I went upstairs, took a nap.

I came outside, nakedness.

Plane looks like
a big sea monster,

a titty creature from the ocean.

It is demented.

Kate: Come up.
Tom: Toss it fast.

Tiffany: Ashley!

Johnny: Wow.
Drita: t*ts everywhere.

The biggest t*ts
you ever saw in your life.

It was terrifying.

- Can we get a little Ice Spice?

- I'm so sorry, Grandma.
Please do not watch this show.

- Look.

[romantic music playing]

- Okay. So what book
did you read last?

Johnny: I don't know if
you heard of this book before.

It's called, uh,
the dictionary by Webster.

- [laughs]

- Good book.

There's a lot of words in it.

- Why is your vocabulary
not better?

- My vocabulary is great.

- What is diction mean?

- My diction's all right.

I feel like
I have pretty good diction.

- You want anything
from the kitchen?

- No. Are you going back down?

- Yeah. Do you want chips?

- No, I'm okay. Thank you.

- Do you want crackers?

- No, but I would like
some tea

about whether you think

Ashley's gonna try
and f*ck Johnny.

- Hey, I'm going to bed.

Love you to death.

- You're gonna go to bed
without me?

- f*ck, she can't resist
this sh*t, baby.

- Do y'all want me
to leave or some?

- Is he gonna take her down
once or twice you think?

- Ew.
- I don't know how...

Kate: Just once.
- ..."Love Island" people

throw down.
- Where's Paul right now?

- Waiting to see
where he's gonna be able

to go to sleep at.

- Give me f*cking
earplugs, bro.

I ain't listening
to this bullshit.

- No, he's out of here.

- I don't wanna see this grab-a*s

between my roommates.

I don't wanna be
in the splash zone.

g*dd*mn it.

Where is my f*cking eye goggles?

I don't wanna see or hear
none of this bullshit.

♪ You make me wanna ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ You make me wanna ♪

Ashley: [laughs] Shut up.

♪ You make me wanna ♪

- I mean, y'all
would wanna have a good time

with Johnny Middlebrooks too
if you're stuck

in a bedroom with him 24/7.

♪ You make me wanna ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ You make me wanna ♪

♪ Scream ♪

♪ Do, do the bad ♪

♪ Do bad things to me ♪

- I guess my beard doesn't
stop me from getting a man.

♪ Being this bad ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Never felt so good ♪

- Oh, God, what have we done?

♪ Feel me, whips and chains ♪

♪ Bringing you towards, ♪
♪ You better come to play ♪

♪ Taste the adrenaline ♪

♪ And swing me ♪
♪ Like a pendulum ♪

Paul: Y'all putting me
in the cuck bed.

♪ Do bad things to me ♪

[tense music playing]

- Um, were you at the same party
I was last night?

- No, I didn't attend.
I stayed home.

I thought, felt like it was out
of my range of morals.

Paul: Your t*tties were out.

[laughter]

- Yeah, I enjoyed myself
last night.

Ashley: I guess we had
a good time last night.

I guess.

- Did, did everyone
see us making out?

I thought
it was pretty secretive.

Tyson: I don't wanna think
about it.

Now I am thinking about it.

[laughing]

- Was that when it sounded
like Ashley was getting stabbed?

[both giggling]

- This is some cougar
on cub action, honey,

because I know Ashley
is at least twice Johnny's age.

- Oh, definitely Johnny
and Ashley

were like for sure banging.

[giggling]

Plane Jane: First of all,
you looked fab.

So, so fab.
- Uh, well, it--you know,

I wasn't really certain
what to wear.

Plane Jane: I need
at least four votes to stay

and I'm pretty sure that I can
count on Tyson and the girls

but I just wanna check in
with the ladies to make sure.

I'm a drag queen, honey.

We don't play games,
we pop puss.

I need a majority vote.

You are genuinely
one of the few people

that I have, like,
genuinely connected with.

- Yeah. I have, too.
- And...

- But also, like,
that's why I was so confused

when all that stuff
was happening with, like, Paul,

and I was like,
"Was there alliances?"

Plane and I have
an amazing connection,

but I'm pretty sure
that Plane and Paul

and that whole side of the house
is already working together.

- Ideally,
Plane goes home right now.

- So maybe if I keep New York,

I have a better chance
of working with her.

- I don't feel necessarily
I'm in an alliance.

- See, this is where
I'm really confused.

I don't--like,

I don't know.

You get that, right? Like...
Plane Jane: Okay.

- [shrieking]

What are you thinking?

Are you voting to keep me,
Christine?

Because you better be.

So you're instead...

- You're good with me.

- Okay.
- You are good with me.

But don't let anyone else
know that.

- Okay. I think
I'm done talking to you.

But I love you.
Please don't vote me out.

- No.

Johnny: So what,
it's gonna be a split decision?

- No, I'm still in. Okay?

- Okay, cool. Either way,
it doesn't matter.

We have the numbers.
Tyson: We have it.

The numbers gonna lay down.

The people that have
a vote tonight are Kate,

Christine, Drita, Ashley,
and me and Tom.

Ashley's gonna vote
to banish Plane

because that's what Johnny
and Paul want.

But then Drita,
after the blow up with New York,

is definitely
gonna banish New York.

And Christine probably
wants to keep Plane,

which means Tom and I
will get to decide

who of those two
actually leaves the house.

- Do you wanna do
more competition type shows?

- I just wanna expand
my horizons,

like, beyond just the world
of "Drag Race."

Like, that's what I wanna do.

- So that's really, really good
that you're here.

- I hope so.

- And everybody's gonna be
so happy for you

all queens.
- And I know you love the girls.

I know you always support
the girls.

- I do. That's really why I wish
it was anybody but us up.

I'm like, you know.

- Oh, that's okay.
I'm super political.

- What?
Tyson: Yeah.

- For real?
- Yeah, I guess.

- Meaning like...
Tyson: Like...

- Oh.

- To me, it feels pretty normal

to have all the power, but Tom,

I bet, is riding so high.

My T-levels are rising.

Tom: Really?
Tyson: Yeah.

- That's making my T-levels rise.

- Which is making mine
rise even more.

- Oh, my T-levels
are raging right now, dude.

[slow upbeat music playing]

- I just wanted to talk to you

to see where your head is at.

- I'll tell you it's--for me,

I'm not guaranteed loyalty
to New York,

because frankly,
what does that do for my game?

- I just wanna talk
to the people that I hope

strongly consider,
like, having my back.

- I strongly, strongly am.
- Strongly, thank you.

- I'm not really feeling good
about this banishment.

I'm seeing Plane
talking to Kate,

and it's making me paranoid,

because Kate is such
a fly-by-night.

Kate: It has been a pleasure
to be here in the house with you

and I'd be so happy
if you stayed.

- Thank you. I...
Kate: Yeah.

So f*ck you.

What you said earlier

really hurt my feelings

when you called
my guest house an outhouse.

- sh*t. That's where I f*cked up.
- You did that on purpose.

Tiffany: My roommate hate me.

Do you understand?
She is leaving smudges.

What is that tanning lotion
you using?

- I'm not that tanned.
- Everything,

just all over the place.

She hate me. She want me gone.

- That--oh, that's--this my--
this is my roommate.

Do you understand?

Plane Jane: That's right.
Drita: Oh, you m*therf*ckers

chose this spot
where I'm sleeping?

Tiffany: Drita, you're
the rudest person in this house.

I never heard nobody call me
to a barbecue saying,

"I'm not your f*cking servant.

What the f*ck
do you want to eat?"

Plane Jane: New York is
popping off left and right,

but I'm certainly
not gonna stop her

because, firstly,
I'm entertained.

And secondly, honey, I'm gonna
let her dig her own grave here.

- I already know
who you're voting for,

Plane from the safe and good.

That's why you parlaying
over here.

- I don't know
what the hell is going on.

- You might as well
land on the runway

because I know
this is your manuscript.

- I hate all of these people,
all of them.

- That broke my heart.
It hurt my heart.

Plane Jane: Oh, my goodness.

[upbeat music playing]

- Are you crying?

[Tiffany sniffles]

Tiffany: You said
you hated me, so go.

Kate: I was being sarcastic.

The reason it's funny
is because it's so not true.

- I've always been such a loner.

And I think
those emotions came about

because I had to build
such a bubble of protection.

Because for the most part,

kids used to team up against me.

So to this day,
if something's bothering me

or if somebody's annoying me,

I just feel really,
really triggered

because the rest
of the schoolyard

would pick on me
for being different,

maybe looking different,
sounding different.

I was always like alienated.

[Kate speaking]

- Well, what's done is done,
I mean, at this point.

And I used to feel so--

it used to be so hard

because it was a constant
picking on.

Constant.

But I knew, like,
not to give in,

like, to stay true to myself.

Because when you know
that's who you are,

how else are you gonna be
but yourself?

This is me. This is my life.

This ain't nothing.

The Hit List, it's a thing,

but it's child's play
compared to my life.

Kate: You know what, New York?

I'm actually flattered
that you even care.

I don't know which way

tonight's banishment
is gonna go.

If I base it on my gut,

it's gonna be a landslide
for Plane to stay.

But who cares?
I'm gonna do what I want.

I don't wanna be in this house
of assholes without you.

I want New York to stay.

I love being roommates with you.

I hope that
we have many more nights

of laying in bed,
not talking to each other.

Should we have a safe word?

[alarm ringing]

Joel: Villains...
Paul: What?

Joel:
...it's time to get ready

for the banishment ceremony.

- I'll get up in a sec.

[dramatic music playing]

Plane Jane: Going into this
banishment ceremony,

I feel like I do have
the majority on my side.

I'm not ready to go home.

This is my dream,
and this is something

that's really, really important
for visibility,

not just for myself,
but for my community.

Joel: Okay, everyone,
head through the bookcase.

Just remember to open it
first, you geniuses.

Plane Jane: No matter what

[in Russian]

[tense music playing]

- Right over here.

Oh, hi, guys.
- Hi, Joel.

- Hey, Joel.
- Thank you for being here.

Nice, nice.

Wow, gloves.
- Yeah, yeah.

- All right, Tom.

Tyson, nice to see you.

Okay. Villains, welcome back
to the stronghold.

New York, Plane Jane,

one of you will be banished
from the House of Villains

and will miss out on a chance
at $200,000.

And I just want to say,
if any gays are watching,

this is not my fault.

- Listen, community,
I know you're so upset tonight,

but please, please
do not flood Johnny's DMs

with harsh messages,
because I wouldn't want that.

[giggles]

- Johnny, you are
the Supervillain.

Please, take your throne.

Paul, you are the right hand
of the Supervillain.

Please, sit on Johnny's lap

and tell him
what you want for Christmas.

[laughter]

Joel: I mean,
stand next to Johnny.

Just stand next.

New York, Plane Jane,
you are up for banishment,

so please be careful,
but take your chairs.

Here you go.

Johnny, I know you're wearing
evil gloves now.

- I am.

- That's what he used
when he fists himself.

- Good God.
- Okay.

Joel: Plane Jane, New York,

it is time to make
your final pleas.

Plane Jane?

Plane Jane: Getting to know
each and every one of you,

you made me feel
comfortable enough

in my skin to lower my walls.

You know,
my uterine walls collapsed.

I'm doing this for something
beyond $200,000.

I'm doing this
for the little boy that was,

you know, picked on
for being different.

- Oh, right now. Oh, right now.

- So I implore you tonight,
villains,

please do not take my dream
away from me.

- Oh, my gosh.

- Damn.

Tiffany:
That was beautifully said.

I respect it, for real.

- New York, let it rip.

- Plane Jane has been
a wonderful woman to me

in the rest of the house
because she's smart

and she has the ability
to make it to the final.

Do I? Not really.

- [laughs]

- I had my chance
at the $200,000 twice.

I never know what's going on
in the challenges.

I'm just here
because the house loves me.

That's all I have.

But Plane Jane, oh, my goodness,

she can take it home, y'all.

So it depends on how
you wanna work the cards.

- Well, guys, it is time to vote.

[tense music playing]

- Drita, you are up first.

Please go to the voting booth.

Drita: New York is very savvy.

It's in her f*cking name.

And if these villains
wanna fall for this,

they're really stupid.

Joel: Does your a*s fit in it?

- Just barely.

- New York?
Tiffany: Yeah.

- How you doing?
- We've been here before.

- We've been here
a few other times.

- This is very difficult for me
for so many reasons.

- Tom?

Tom: Johnny and Paul want us
to vote Plane Jane out.

I'm torn because
they are not to be trusted.

They're both
f*cking liabilities.

So it could be the time to flip.

Tyson: It's time to say goodbye.

Joel: All right, everyone.
Votes are in.

The second villain
to be banished from the house

with a vote of five to one is...

Plane Jane.

- I hope all of these b*tches
f*cking suffer.

And I hope that they all
get f*cking yeast infections

in their vaginas and pee holes.

Rot in hell, villains!

Joel: All right, Johnny,
do your thing.

- See you later, b*tches.

- Yeah, Plane, kick rocks
with your socks off.

- [in Russian]

They're idiots.

I feel betrayed by Christine.

I feel betrayed by Kate.

I feel betrayed by Tyson.

That really gagged me.

And I hope you all rot
in the depths of hell,

AKA your respective
f*cking senior homes

that you're headed to
shortly after you leave

this m*therf*cking house,

you geriatric, wrinkly,

botched f*ck.

Except for New York
and Drita,

those two girls are lovely.

Joel:
Next on House of Villains.

- Five to one.
- I didn't think

it was gonna be like that.

- It's just like
a three-person podium

of power and control over there.

- Uh-hmm.

Joel: Grab your headphones
and ball gags

and let's play a game.

- [shouting]

- What?

Tiffany:
Bring the thing over here.

Bring it to me.

- It can't be obvious
that I'm sabotaging.

- Tyson, there's little
Easter eggs that he plants.

- What do you have to offer me?