03x07 - The Nut House of Villains

[bunniefuu]

-[owl hooting]
-[suspenseful music playing]

Joel: Previously...
-[lightning cracks]

Joel: ...on House of Villains.

-Ashley has been removed
from the game.

-No way.
-I actually found

a list that she made,
she signed it.

In the middle is Tom
with a question mark.

Tom: Seeing this notebook
with my name

in the middle
and not with my alliance,

this bromance is gonna have
to end eventually.

Maybe that time is now.

-Tyson was not including
you in anything.

Has he promised
to take you to the end?

'Cause--
-Um, yeah.

-He was never including you.

Ever.

-The third villain
to be banished from the house

with a vote of 4-1 is...

Paul: I'm f*cked.

-...Johnny Middlebrooks.

-The house has spoken.

[upbeat music playing]

Paul: I need a lot of alcohol.

[Drita laughing]
[Tom groans]

-Oh, my gosh.

-I can't believe I'm here,
genuinely. Thank you, guys.

I literally dodged a b*llet.

I mean, if Johnny wasn't
the big meat muscle shield

that he is, that b*llet
was coming straight for me.

This is Paul's sex dungeon now.

Tiffany: Oh, wait. Paul,
you get all this space now.

-Look, Johnny,
you should've just put Tom up

and sent his a*s home
when I told you.

-Are these your shoes?
-No, that's Johnny.

-He came in here with a shoe
for every f*cking day.

Joel: Villains,
please go in the kitchen...

-I don't want to f*ck--
Joel: ...and enjoy

some pizza and beer...

-Wow!
Joel: ...in Johnny's memory.

-I don't trust it.
-Pizza!

Paul: I'm not opening it.

Don't open the f*cking pizza!

-Wait. Is there really f*cking
pizza or is this a trick?

-I will be checking
all of these boxes

because last time pizza
was delivered,

Paul discovered a hand

and became the right-hand man
of Johnny.

[choir vocalizing]

-You never know
what can happen here

in the House of Villains.

Could be something amiss.

[bell rings]
[upbeat music playing]

-Oh, my God,
there's really pizza.

Tom: Hey. Yes, and beer...
Christine: Sweet. f*ck, yeah.

-...and vodka and tequila.
-Yum.

Drita: This looks good,
this pizza look--

Tiffany: It's so good.

-I felt like
I was watching a soap opera

on the Spanish channel.

[guitar music playing]
[man in Spanish]

[woman in Spanish]

Tom: Drita,
I got a question for you.

Why is it that every time

you know somebody's going out,
you vote for that person?

-Because I gave them my word.

-You gave Johnny your word?
-I gave Johnny my word

the first two days we were here.

I gave Plane my word
the first two days we're here.

Jackie, off the rip.

I do care about loyalty,

so I'm going to vote
the way I want.

[bell rings]

Drita:
I'm not like everyone else.

I fear nothing and no one.

I wasn't worried about you.
I know you're winning anyway.

I kept my word.

Tom: After the fight
I was like...

Drita: My poor old friends
are gone.

Tyson: So the final round,

there's a jury
that's all been eliminated,

and they come back
and vote for the final winner.

Joel: It is time to vote.

You are not here to vote
for your best friend,

you are voting
for the greatest Supervillain.

Tyson: My odds of winning
if I can get to the end

are pretty good,
except for against Drita

because she hasn't cut anyone
or done anyone dirty,

so I need Drita out.

-I'm sorry, bro.

[indistinct chatter]

Kate: Okay. I'm gonna ask
for my phone back now

and give my--
Tyson: Yeah, I'm gonna ask

for my phone.

[classical music playing]

-Look what I found.

Drita: I just want to change.

-Don't change too much.

Drita: Oh, that was funny.
Very funny.

Tyson: Was it?
-And you are like dad joke

of the year.

-I have kids.

-Oh, my God.

Kate: Good night, everyone.

We're all...
Paul: Good night, y'all.

-...going to sleep.
Tyson: Good night.

[upbeat music playing]

-"Congrats.
You opened an envelope

and now you're on the Hit List.

Here's how you get off
the list.

Convince someone else
to open it.

You have 'til next time
you see me

on the Battle Royale
to get it out of your hands.

Whoever is holding it last,
you're stuck,

unless you become Supervillain.

See you soon. Joel."
Easy enough.

Thank God I found
this death sentence first

because now, I just need
one person to read it.

I don't care how they read it
or who reads it.

I just need someone
to read it

to get it off of me.

-What's up?

Yeah, of course.

-Listen to me, all three
of you Charlie's Angels.

Three of us the next game
have to win Supervillain.

They win
because they team up to win.

You shut the sh*t down.

-I think I might actually.
-Yeah.

-Do you want a third
or you're good?

-[laughs]
-Might as well.

Drita:
I want you to look at this.

We're gonna call this
a Christine expl*si*n.

Kate: It's a tornado.
Drita: Tornado.

It's amazing.
How do you find anything?

Kate: Whoa. I mean, whoa.
-If you have to do

your makeup, how do you do it?

Anyone in my past
that I have beat up,

that wished karma on me,

gave me Christine as a roommate.

-You know, in my defense,
like...

Drita: In your defense,
you have a lot of sh*t.

[laughter]

-[whispering] I can put somebody
on the Hit List.

-Where'd you find that?
-The pantry.

Do you trust me?
Tom: Yeah.

Tyson: It's like a curse.

I'm going on the Hit List,

unless I gave it
to somebody else.

-Yeah.
-If I show it to you,

it's yours now

and you have to give it
to somebody else.

-Tyson has this letter

and if I open up the letter,

I'm on the Hit List.

-You-- You're ready?

Tom: But I'm just staring
at this letter

and I'm like, "Cookie?

Cookie?" [chuckles]

Let me see it, okay?

-I know that Tom
doesn't fully trust me

after Kate blew my cover,

but bringing Tom in
on the death sentence

is the perfect way
to patch things up

because I'm keeping my promise

of telling Tom everything
moving forward.

And as a bonus, it means
I'm no longer on the Hit List,

so it's a win-win.

-Opening it
is basically me opening up

to our friendship again.

There was some trust issues,

but now
we're in this together.

With this envelope,
I am on the Hit List.

I gotta get rid
of this letter,

but also I gotta warn Kate.

Whoa, it's way cleaner in here.

-I know. I know.
Thank you.

-I am looking
for Kate everywhere.

[indistinct chatter]

[bell rings]

[groans]

I peek into her room,

she's not in there.

[demonic laugh]

[suspenseful music playing]

Kate: "Congratulations.

You're on the Hit List."

Tom: Kate.

I was f*cking looking
for your a*s.

Where were you?

-I was changing.

Kate: I'm now on the Hit List

and I believe that Tom
and Tyson were targeting me.

So now, I know I absolutely
do not trust Tom and Tyson.

Christine: Oh, f*ck.

I see the three musketeers

on the couch with a letter.

What is going on?

Am I f*cked?

I'm not really sure

if this envelope
is a good thing

or a bad thing.

-Christine saw us.

-The thing about Tyson

is the man be grabbing, okay?

So he grabs the letter.

He grabbed the hand
on the pizza.

And now, Tyson doesn't wanna
grab this envelope?

Then clearly this envelope
is not a good thing.

-Whose is it now? Kate's?
-Yeah.

Tyson: So it's better
that she opened it,

so now she is-- it's off of you.

-Yeah.

-Oh, there's another T-shirt

on the railing.

Okay.

[demonic laugh]

-I don't see any point

in trying to convince
the remaining people

in the house
to open this letter.

New York is out
for the count.

I'm not gonna do it
to Drita or Christine.

And who knows where Paul is.

And when you don't know
what to do with something,

what's the best thing to do?

Throw it.

-Oh, wait a minute.
-[whimpering] No, Drita.

No, I don't know.

I don't know, I don't know,
I don't know.

Drita, no.

I don't know
if it's good or not.

Don't touch it.

-Why does it look like this?

I was on a show called
Mob Wives.

I see something, I say nothing,

none of my business.

And plus,
it's a federal offense.

I have enough problems
with the FBI.

Tom.

Tom: Yeah.

-Did you see that?
-What is that?

Drita:
Did you touch this letter?

-No, I did not.

Did you open it?

-She said don't touch it,
don't do it.

She said that you guys
have been moving it around.

So are you lying to me?

Tom: Having Drita

on the Hit List would be great.

Well...
-Don't lie to me, Tom.

Tom: She would actually have

to, like,
make some f*cking moves,

so I would love
for her to get this letter.

-Do I open this?
-Yeah.

Drita: That's your acting
ability, Tyson?

He gave himself up
right there

that I knew he knew
about this envelope.

I don't know
if he wants me to open it.

I don't know if he doesn't.

But I know he wants to know
if I'm going to.

-If you get curious,
tell me what it is.

[whispering] Christine told
everybody not to open it.

-Where's Paul?
He's a bad liar.

Christine:
He's pacing on his phone.

-[in foreign language]

-They look like
they're nervous.

-I know. That's why
I'm saying, don't touch it.

Drita: These f*cking spies.

They keep looking...
Christine: [chuckles] I know.

-...to see if I open it.
I'm gonna fight everybody.

[birds chirping]

-Paul.
-Mommy,

you wanna say hi to Tyson?

Tyson, you wanna say hi
to my Ma?

Tyson: Hi, Mom.

Did you see the advantage
in the house, man?

-Shut the f*ck up.

-Right now,
do not open the envelope.

-Why do-- Why should I
not open it?

-Because it's gonna put you
on the Hit List.

Whoever opens it last
is on the Hit List

by the time
the challenge starts tomorrow.

If Kate, Drita, and Christine

are working together
against the guys,

they're gonna have Paul
open it last,

and he'll be stuck
on the Hit List.

And right now,
Paul is someone

I may be able to use,

so I would like
to keep him here if I can.

You have to trust me here.

-Okay.

Tyson has his weird quadri-eyes,

nightmare fuel,

sleep paralysis demon
eyeglasses on.

You think I trust you?

Tyson: Is kicking an envelope
under the chair a d*ck move?

Maybe.
But I wanna go to sleep.

I'm pretty unsure
of who owns it.

I think like maybe Kate,
maybe Drita.

But one of them needs to go.

[suspenseful music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

Paul: Good morning.

People were like freaking out

over some letter yesterday.

I don't know.
Tiffany: Oh,

there's a letter
floating around?

-I don't f*cking know.
Tiffany: Is it a chain letter?

Good morning, Kate.
-I don't even know if I wanna--

I don't even wanna know
if I wanna know.

-I don't know
if I'm on the Hit List

or not today,
but I left the letter

by the chairs
and it's not there anymore.

What I do know is,

I'm surprised
I even won Supervillain once.

The odds of it happening again
are near impossible.

Tyson: Morning, sunshine.

Tiffany: Good morning.

Don't open it-- What envelope?
Tyson: Shh. Shh.

Tiffany: Where is it?
-I don't know.

Tiffany: Thomas.

Why is everybody
being so secretive

about this damn letter
that people are finding?

-Um, yeah, I heard
there was a letter.

-Do we have to move out
of here?

-It says anybody
who goes by

um, any sort of--
one of the 50 states...

[Paul chuckles]
-Don't play with me now.

It is so important
to mind your business,

get your eight hours
of beauty sleep,

to go to bed early
in this house.

Because when the f*ck
is going around, guess what?

You're not a part of it.
Drita: Good morning.

Tyson: Good morning.
-Good morning.

Paul: Do you see a letter?

Kate: Where is it?
-I don't know.

-Heard about it.
Never seen it.

-Who told you about it?

-The boys came outside
and they were like,

"Hey, did you see the letter?"

-Oh.
-I wonder who handled it last.

Drita: And nobody opened
that letter in this house?

[suspenseful music playing]

I can't believe that.

You guys are too nosy.

[laughs]

[PA system rings]

Tiffany: All right.
Paul: What?

[PA system rings]
[Tiffany laughs]

-Okay.
Joel: Did you guys

hear those chimes?

Paul: Yeah, we hear 'em.
Tiffany: Yeah.

Joel: Sorry, I can't get
this thing to stop now.

Today, we have
a Battle Royale Challenge.

I have left some outfits
for today on your bed.

-Oh, God.
-God.

Joel:
So please change into those

and meet me outside.

[PA system rings]
Joel: f*ck!

[laughing]

[suspenseful music playing]

-Hey!
-All right.

Tom: Okay.

Joel: Hi.

Christine: Hey.

The costumes are cute.

I'm not sure
where this hair came from.

This is definitely synthetic,
but I'll make it work.

-Good morning, villains.
You look wonderful.

First things first,
I left you a present

in the form of an envelope.

It's nothing scary.

I call it "The Death Sentence."

Here's how it works.
Whoever opened the envelope

was automatically put
on this week's Hit List.

-What?
Joel: Unless

they could get somebody else

to open the envelope.

Whoever ended up with it
at this moment

is stuck on the Hit List,

unless they become Supervillain.

Well, I guess,
I can just tell you. It's Kate.

Kate: Yup, it's me.

I'm the one that opened
the letter last.

I'm on the Hit List,
and frankly, I don't care.

I am standing here
in a squirrel onesie

surrounded by a bunch
of morons that all hate me.

-As the envelope stated,

the only way for you
to get off the Hit List

is to win
the Battle Royale Challenge.

-Right.
-Huge stakes here, Kate.

Try to look less disinterested.

-I'm focused.
Joel: All right.

The name of this challenge is...

Nut Jobs.

The game is simple
and it is played in rounds.

Each of you will start
with 30 nuts.

In each round, you will enter
the Nut House one at a time.

You will place your nuts

in your own
personal nut sack.

You can put as many
or as little as you want

inside the sack.

But after each round,

I will announce the player

with the fewest amount
of nuts

in their nut sack
and that player

will be eliminated
from the challenge.

While putting 28
of your nuts in your sack

would give you a great shot

at getting to round two,

you would only have
two nuts left

for the rest of the game.

Whoever survives and hangs on

to the most nuts
by the final round

wins the game and becomes
our next Supervillain.

As always, I apologize

for making you do basic math.

-Oh, man, I suck at Math.
-What I'm saying is

you do not wanna blow
your load too early.

-I'm f*cked.
Joel: And now,

I will place my nuts

into your waiting hands.

Tom: When it comes to this
Nut Job Battle Royale,

it's all about rationing.

You wanna ration
as little as possible

while still staying in the game

so you have more for the end.

You don't wanna blow
your load

right in the beginning.

You know, you kinda wanna like

spread it out a little bit.

-In the event multiple people

play the fewest amount of nuts

in any given round,

everyone with that amount
of nuts

will be eliminated.
-Damn.

-Last squirrel standing
becomes our next Supervillain,

who will be showered with loads

of praise in our glory hole.

Tyson, you are up.

Here he goes, guys.

-It's moist in here.

-Anybody allergic to nuts?

-Six should definitely
keep me safe,

but do I wanna go hard early?

One, two, three, four.

-Oh, look at him.
Look, there he go.

-I would really love to win,

and if not me, then Tom.

I need an ally
to hopefully win this thing.

So I flashed to Tom.

Hopefully, he puts five.

Tom: Okay.

-Paul, it is your turn.

-Okay. If these people
are lowballing it,

then let me go
with the safe four.

One, two, three, four.

Christine: I'm always trying
to win Supervillain.

I really am.

But I prefer to work
with numbers

when they hit my bank account

with a lot of zeroes, you know.

Tom: Tyson said
that he did four nuts,

so I'm gonna do five.

-I'm gonna start pretty large.

f*ck you, Tom.

f*ck you, Tyson.
-All right.

I'm not having
any testicular issues today.

So my nuts are flowing.

-14, 15, 16, 17.

The goal of this game
is I have no idea.

[chuckles]



and I'm gonna go
by a lucky number.

I know all the squirrels outside

are lying-a*s m*therf*ckers,
so it really don't matter.

-All right, everyone.
I've counted your nuts.

With the least amount of nuts...

Tyson and Paul,
you have been eliminated.

You've lost the chance

to be Supervillain.
Tiffany: What?

Joel:
Please go inside the house.

-Holy sh*t!
-I can't believe this!

-And enjoy
a hot bag of peanuts.

Drita, leave some nuts.

-I have no idea
how I even won one round.

I wanna get rid of these.

One, two, three, four, seven.

Tom: I'm putting six nuts in it.

Four, five, six.

-Now I'm gonna go slightly less.

I don't have to ration
my nuts as much.

-Sticking
with my favorite number

and doing six again.

-How many nuts do I need
to bust this time?

I'm gonna bust a big nut.

-I have counted the nuts.

The villains
with the least number of nuts

in their sacks
are Christine and Tom.

Please join
the other loser squirrels.

-Well, this sucks.

-What? That means they lost?

Tom: It's Kate,
Drita, and New York.

I would rather have New York win

because I feel like New York

is closest with me and Tyson.

-I think
I have to win Supervillain.

-Okay.
-Because otherwise,

I-- my vote won't count,
I'm going home,

but I won't nominate you two.

-Thank you. Thank you.
-Obviously.

-Drita and New York
wanna be Supervillain. I get it.

But if I don't win Supervillain,

I remain on the Hit List.

-So put one or two each.
-Okay.

Joel: Five, four, three...

-I won't put you up.
-Just one? Okay.

Joel: ...two...
-I don't agree

with Kate one bit.

I've never had Supervillain.

I want this so bad,

so I lied to Kate

when I told her
I only had three nuts.

All right.

Drita: I don't even know
how much to put.

She could beat me right now.

I don't know even know
what the f*ck I'm doing.

-I gotta get this sh*t right.

I have to f*cking get
this right.

It's never been done before.

This is my third season.

One, two, three.

Please. Please. Okay.

-I don't even know
how many I have left.

How about that?

Joel: Drita!

Drita: I'm coming. Shut up.

-I have 12 remaining.

I'm gonna do seven.

-I have counted the nuts.

Drita's out.
-I knew it.

I f*cking knew it.

Joel: You've lost the chance
to be Supervillain.

-It is such an intense moment.

My strategy going
into this last round

is obviously to dump
all my nuts into my sack.

And who's to tell how many
Kate has left?

I just wanna get this nut
out and over with.

-I'm really proud of us
for making it here.

-Me too.

-Lucy and Ethel.

-New York winning.

Tom:
That would be cool if she did.

I would be happy for her.

Paul: Yeah. Like,
it would be her first one.

-You would be happy
'cause she's not

gonna put you
on the chopping block.

-May the best nut win.

[dramatic music playing]

-Kate, please, drop some nuts.

-Don't call it a comeback.
-This is New York's

third season
on House of Villains.

Never been Supervillain.
-Never.

-Kate, if she gets Supervillain,

she's off the Hit List.

-All right, New York.

Show me your nuts.

But one thing's for sure,

mine are bigger.

-It's down to me and Kate

and a nut sack
is a little bit light.

I hope I played
that last hand right.

Oh, sh*t.

All right. That's all I got.

Let's see.

Kate is my roommate,

but I am totally playing this
for myself.

It's down to two nut jobs
and one nut off.

-All right.

It's between New York and Kate

for Supervillain.

-One, two, three, four.

Joel: Just so you know,
this final round

was the difference of one nut.

-One, two, three,

I don't know
what's gonna happen, four.

-Congratulations, Kate.

You are the Supervillain.
-[gasps] Oh, my God.

Christine: Wow.

-Five, five nuts.

-You're off the Hit List.

Christine: Wow.
Tom: Nice.

Are you f*cking kidding me?

This death letter thing looks
really bad on me and Tyson.

I'm worried
Kate is gonna be retaliatory.

-Kate, you will get to choose
three villains for the Hit List

and also get to go on a reward.

-Oh, God. Okay.

-What two people
would you like

to take with you on the reward?

-I would like to take New York

and I would like to take Paul.
-Whoa.

-'Cause you were
on the Hit List twice.

-Great. Now, please shuffle back
into the mansion

with as much dignity
as a bunch of adults

dressed as squirrels can muster.
-[laughter]

-Kate doesn't wanna be told
what to do

and she likes
to kinda create chaos.

I see myself
being on the Hit List.

Now we're here standing
in a gigantic pile of sh*t

in a squirrel costume.

[dramatic music playing]

-Wow, it's hot.

-[laughter]
Tyson: Good job.

Tiffany: Yeah. Yeah.
Tom: Yeah. You got close.

-I knew you were gonna win
when you were going,

"Six divided by."
-Oh, my God.

Drita: I was like--
-As soon as she said that,

that's when I was like, "Okay.

I'm gonna do six every time."

-I should have told you guys,

I did pass fourth grade.

I'm gonna go get out of this.

-Damn, Kate.
That was pretty impressive,

to go from Supervillain
to Hit List

to off the Hit List
to Supervillain.

Kate: f*cking f*ck.

-Last time,
she put me up on the Hit List.

So, I don't really know
what to expect,

but I'm hoping that the tides
have shifted a little bit.

[dramatic music playing]

Tom: How are you feeling?
-I feel great.

That's how I feel.
-I can imagine.

-I feel real good.

How do you feel?
-I feel good.

-Good. Good.
-Yeah.

-I'm glad you feel good.
How's Tyson feel?

Tom: Good.
Kate: Okay. Good.

-Well...
Kate: Good.

-I did go looking
for you last night.

-No. No, no, no.
Tom: Yes, I did.

We both literally said...

Kate: Honestly--
-..."Let's go found Kate."

Kate: Honestly, it's--
-I swear to God.

Like, I've never
f*cking lied to you.

Kate: You both said,
"Let's go find Kate."

Okay.
Tom: Yes.

-I'm back to feeling
about Tom Sandoval

the same way I felt
when I entered the house.

He's a worm with a mustache.

[demonic laugh]

-How are you feeling,
Christine?

-As soon as I found out
the game,

I was like, "Okay. All right.

Nuts. This is not my game."

-Who do you think
she's putting up?

[dramatic music playing]

-Oh, sh*t. Mm-mm.
That was f*cking dumb.

Paul: What's up?
-Hi.

How do you feel?
-Interesting.

There was definitely
some sort of scandal happening

between Tom, Tyson, and Kate.

And they were upset
with one another.

Tom didn't want Kate
to have the letter,

but Kate got it.

I think Tom wanted
either me, or you,

or Christine to get it.

And they also are threatened
by you and Christine

because in the past two seasons,

there were characters
like Tyson, right?

Who were like,
won a bunch of competitions.

They were in control
of all this sh*t.

They didn't win the game
because next to them

was somebody
who didn't do those things

and everybody just liked them
a little better.

So they're f*cking mortified
of you.

Drita: I watched last season,

so I know to choose
the winner,

the cast comes back
for a jury vote.

And Tyson is from "Survivor."

So, his mentality
is like jury management.

Meaning, he wouldn't be able
to beat me because I'm loved.

And you know who I'm loved by?

A bunch of badass villains.

[laughing]

Kate: Just the two
I wanted to talk to.

Supervillain office out here.

Drita: Do you wanna talk
to her alone?

I think you should talk alone.
Paul: No.

-Okay.
-'Cause I got nothing to hide.

-Yeah.
Paul: Kate,

I'm under the assumption

that probably gonna go up

or I'm a good choice to go up.

-Get to it.

-Am I going out there?

-No.

Paul: Wait a minute.
Kate is protecting me.

That's so special.

Is this real?

What weird parallel universe
am I living in?

I am a free agent in this game.

-Yeah, Paul. You're with me
'til you piss me off.

I am thinking of keeping Paul
because I believe

that Paul was at one time
working with Tyson.

I believe Paul has realized
it's time to pivot.

-Listen.
-No.

Paul: Okay.
-Uh-uh.

And I appreciate that.

Drita: Paul loves to talk.

Kate: About nothing for so long.

My ultimate goal
is for Tyson to be banished.

I don't like the way Tyson
has played his game,

and I don't like
how he walks around,

acting like
he's guaranteed to win.

Oh, f*ck.
Here comes this f*ck.

How's it going?
-Good. How are you?

-Do you wear
this much neon at home

or you did it just for TV?

-This is like
my pickleball gear sometimes.

-Really?
-Yeah.

-You know,
I've never played pickleball.

I feel like it's so trendy.

-It is.
-Why not just do tennis?

It's more chic.

Drita: You guys could talk.

-Yeah.
Tyson: Do you play tennis?

Kate: No, but I--
if I'm going to choose one,

I'm gonna go for tennis.

-What's up, Tom?
Tom: What's up, guys?

-Tom, do you play pickleball?

Tom: Every once in a while.

Do you like pickleball?
-No, I hate it.

I think it's so lame.

If you're gonna do it,

do tennis and be like an adult.

[Tom laughs]
Kate: It's for losers.

Tyson: Kate is on
some weird power trip,

where she's trying to take,
like, jabs at me.

I wanna have
a conversation with her,

but I also don't wanna have it

when she's just purposely
trying to,

like, throw zingers at me.

I'm like, I should just
catch up on some sleep.

Also when I'm asleep,

Kate can't come
and try to be mean to me.

[dramatic music playing]

[sighs]

-What a gorgeous day.

-Getting that cardio?

-Keeping my T levels up.
-That's it.

The envelope thing
did really screw things up.

-Look at us.

Everything is going perfectly.

Tyson: I really don't know
if she's trying

to get under my skin

or just be a d*ck or what.

-[sighs]
Well, I'm good for a month.

-I miss my kids so bad.

-[grunts]
Tom: Can you get my back?

Tyson: I can or New York can.

Tom: Can you get it?
Tyson: Okay.

-Get a little more in there.

-Keep rubbing him down.

It's erotic.

[upbeat music playing]

-Mm-hmm. Oh, my goodness.

Tom and Tyson, bring on
the vanilla wafers.

Were you gonna jump in the pool?
I wanted some action.

Tom: No. I'm not jumping
in the pool.

I'm-- I'm gonna jump
rope in the sun.

Tyson: He's gonna rope. Yeah.

-Oh, okay.
Tyson: He's getting sweaty.

-You're the only person here

that I fully trust, Tyson.

Tyson: Yeah. I was really...
-And when I mean that, I mean--

-...hoping you were gonna win
'cause the second I went out,

I was like,
"New York's the only one

that I feel like
will 100% save me."

Tiffany: I feel like some
of the women need to sweat.

Drita's never played
a Redemption Challenge.

-Excuse me.

Tyson:
Drita hasn't done anything

except for be on the right side

of every single jury member
that's exited the house.

-Yeah. And cook
a lot of heavy sh*t

that has my hips wider
than they were

before I got here.
-Yeah.

-I really hope that Kate

does not put up me,

Tom, or Tyson.

Drita, it's time to see
how she sweats under pressure.

I don't know about you,
but I'm gonna look good on--

in my bikini
for the 4th of July.

Tyson: I also want to.

Kate: So,
I've gotta pick three people.

It's so hard.
What do you think I should do?

-I would love it
if it's us girls.

-So, you think I should nominate
Paul, Tyson, and Tom?

-No. I don't know though.

You know, right? I don't--

Kate: If I could just
nominate two people,

I'd be happy 'cause that's all
I really care about.

Tyson: Get it, Tom.

[upbeat music playing]

-Since pizza parties
are the f*cking jinx of a--

Okay. But they're always
a jinx here.

We're gonna have
a pizza party in the yard

with the outside oven.

The first time
we got pizza in this house,

Paul is the right hand.

The second time we get pizza,
there's a death note.

So I decided to rebrand pizza
and make a pizza party.

Kate: I'll do pepperoni.
Drita: All right. Great.

Kate: I'm gonna do classic.
Paul: New York,

why are you sitting
in the corner

like a little kid in trouble?

Come make a pizza.
Tiffany: I'm not about to

ruin your mamma mia pizza.

Drita: Come on, New York,
make some pizza.

Kate: New York is known
for its pizza.

Have you ever made
pizza before, Tom?

Tom: Yup.
-Really?

Tom: I used to be a cook

when I was like 14, 15.

-Really? Where?
Tom: In a pub.

-Oh, God.
-What about you, Kate?

What was your first job?
-Wet Seal.

-Really? You went retail?

-I just wanted the cute clothes
and, you know...

-For sure, the discount.

Drita: I was working
in a deli at 14.

Tom: Christine,
what was your first job?

-I worked at Sonic, and then,

I worked at Taco Bell.
Tom: Oh, right on.

-Can you imagine
getting Christine to help you?

man: Can I have a number one?

Drita:
You're not getting that.

That's not a vibe.

man: Tater tots, please.

Drita: Do we have tater tots?

[laughs]

Kate: This is so fun.

Tom: Thank you.

I'm stuffed. [burps]

[upbeat music playing]

Tom: Dude, is that good?

We-- Can we get it closer
to each other?

-I can try.

Is that as close as it goes?

Tom: Yeah.

Tyson:
That's the super bed, dude.

I can't believe it took us
this long honestly.

-Kate has been
a bit of a killjoy,

just sucking the fun
out of this house.

So, I know I can have
some fun with Tyson.

We're pushing our beds together
to make one gigantic super bed.

Dude, look.
Tyson: Dude.

-This is one bed.

Just one f*cking bed, man.

-Oh, I was gonna do
the secret handshake.

-Oh, yeah.

[laughter]

Paul: Kate is telling me
that I'm safe,

but I don't really
trust anything

that anybody says
in this house,

so maybe if I give her

some helpful secret information,

maybe she won't
throw me overboard.

I don't know
if that's what she did

on Below Deck or not,
but as long

as she doesn't do it to me,
then I'm fine.

Hey.
Kate: Hey, Paul. Come on.

Paul: I think I figured out
what happened yesterday.

I went to Tom and Tyson
about that f*cking card,

and they're like,
"We hid it under the chair."

One of them found it,
for sure, right?

Kate: Yeah, for sure.
Tyson found it.

-I kicked it under the chair.
-Oh.

-So that it looks
like it's gone.

-Oh, it's down there still?
Tyson: Yeah.

-And they said
because whoever was last--

and they knew who was last.

-Are you serious?

They were cementing.

-[whispering] They were
cementing your f*cking name.

-Tyson had put the Hit List
envelope under a chair.

That was personal.

Hey, Paul, look what I found.

Under the chair.

Tyson wanted to make sure
I was on the Hit List, period.

And Tom co-signed that.

[dramatic music playing]

Kate: Good morning.

Sure.

Cream and sugar.

Thank you.

-I'm always
a little scared of Kate.

[groans]

Christine: So,
I always bring her coffee,

but not because
she could nominate me to leave.

-Thank you so much.

-But because I'm always worried

she's gonna say
something cunty to me.

You never know.

[shaver buzzing]

-I have a f*cking gray hair
because of you assholes.

[speaking gibberish]

-I love you.
I love you.

Regardless of how any of us feel
about Tom or Tyson,

I think it's good
for everyone's game

and also will be so funny
to separate 'em.

It's like
we're all third-wheeling

on Tom and Tyson's date.

Paul: Good morning, Drita.
Drita: Good morning.

Paul: How you doing?
Drita: Good.

Oh, you're going on rewards.

Well, well, well.
Paul: Wow.

Drita: That hair is--
[Paul whistles]

Drita: Oh, my God.
You look good.

Tiffany: Thank you
so much, Drita.

Drita: Look at your hair.
-Yeah.

It's giving
like Diahann Carroll.

-Oh, come on.
Drita: Yes.

-You know, like old school.
Drita: Yes.

-Look at-- Look at New York!
Kate: Hi. You look so cute.

-Kate, are we having
a good time?

You know I had to whip out
the good wig.

-You look so cute.
Drita: Look at her.

Look at her hair.

I hope you guys have fun today.

Enjoy the day, guys.
Paul: Thank you.

Tiffany: Thank you.
[PA system rings]

-I'm confused what the f*ck
we're gonna do.

-Oh, but we're doing it.

-I hope it's fun.
-Whatever it is.

Joel: Kate, New York, Paul,

it's time to take
your little field trip.

And it's a fancy one.

Oh, it sure is.

Tiffany: I love that for us.
Paul: Nice.

We love a good reward.

-This is my first reward

that I'm going on
in season three.

We should let Kate go first.

I definitely don't wanna be
on the Hit List.

But you never really know
with Kate.

-Johnny, it's time
for your final

House of Villains workout.

Let's go, buddy.

[upbeat music playing]

-We gotta make sure those shorts
are extra tight.

Hell, yeah.

Feel it, feel it, feel it.

Time for some cardio.
[beeping]

Tom: What the f*ck, Johnny?

-Oh, what's going on
in here?

Paul: Oh, my God.

-Welcome to Cirque School.

Paul: I always wanted
to run away with the circus.

-You've come
to the perfect place.

This is a circus school

for anybody with any body,

teaching recreational circus.

-I am a clown, so it works.

-So we're gonna get started
with a little warmup,

condition our body,
do a little stretching,

and then, we'll get you up
on the trapeze,

the fabric, and a little bit

of acrobatics, okay?
-Sick.

-Why did you choose me
for this reward?

instructor: All right.
The first thing we're gonna do--

-Oh. Whoa.
instructor: Oh, my goodness.

Tiffany: Oops. Okay.
I'm getting excited

because you said ball
and I was on top of it.

-Try to lift one foot off
the floor and maybe the second.

Stand up.

Booty goes back to the ball.

Ride the train. Stand up, hips--

-I don't know about this one.

-Ride the train.
There's a lot going on.

Two more.

-New York's New Yorking.

-Oh. Oh. [screams] I'm scared.

Paul: Come on.
-[screaming]

Paul: Come on.
-[screams]

-And Paul...

[dramatic music playing]

Kate: Gorgeous, Paul.

Tiffany: Oh, all right.

Kate: So beautiful.

I used to think
Paul was a bit of a carny.

But I was wrong.

instructor: Open the legs wide.

-Oh, wow.
instructor: Great.

-He's the more sophisticated

circus freak.

-Beautiful, Kate. Oh, my gosh.
-I'm swinging.

instructor:
Slowly bring your legs down.

Tiffany: That looks so fun.

-Slow, slow, slow, slow, slow.

There we go.

Paul: Nice, Kate.

Tom: You see that Kate
put us up on the bar

with the letter in between us?

Tyson: I didn't see it.

Tom:
You gotta notice things.

-I guess. I also don't care.

Everyone targeting Tyson

is not shocking at all.

No matter what I do,
no matter what I say to anybody,

they're not buying it.
They want me gone.

They've wanted me gone
all season long.

It's a frustrating spot
to be in.

I haven't talked to Kate yet.
-You need to try.

Tyson: Is it worse to not try?

Is that gonna make her angrier?

-It might.

I don't know why Kate

has such a problem with Tyson.

She has already put him
on the Hit List,

so technically,
hiding that letter

and her going on the Hit List
was sort of like they're even.

-Should we just put
the two puppets

in more and more
obscene positions?

-She had me on top of you.

It's like I'm definitely
a power bottom.

-Yeah. Should we go change it?
-Yeah.

So I'm thinking
if we did like this...

Tyson: And then, her,
like, spying on us.

-Should we put some nuts around?

[laughter]

Kate: Gross.

Tiffany: Cheers, you guys.
Kate: Cheers.

-Listen, when I say y'all looked
really good up there...

-Likewise.
-...I kid you not.

-You looked really good, too.
-No, but y'all knew

what the f*ck y'all was doing.

Y'all had pelvis control,

upper body, all that sh*t.
Kate: Same.

-Thank you
for inviting us, Kate.

-Yeah, that was
a beautiful vibe.

-I had a blast.
-Yay.

-My gosh, you guys.
Somebody's leaving.

It's crazy.
-Yeah, Tom or Tyson

are leaving and I'm so excited.

[laughs]

-I have been aligned with Tyson
and Tom for the longest now.

So the fact that Kate wants
to bust this up,

I can't break it to her
and tell her

that she's messing up my game.

-If Tyson leaves, Tom will be...

-Yeah.
-But then, worst-case scenario,

Tyson wins Redemption Challenge,
Tom goes home.

Tyson's dead
in the water anyways.

[chuckles]

Clearly, New York
is in cahoots

with Tom and Tyson.

♪ Lonely nights ♪

♪ My mind is stuck on you ♪

Johnny Bananas: Oh, my God.

Kate: It's pretty logical
to nominate New York

together with Tom and Tyson.

At this point in the game,

I feel like pretty much everyone

is a threat to me.

I'm excited to t*rture them.

-They deserve it.
They earned it.

-Mm-hmm. You're right.
-They dug their grave.

Kate: I think I brought
the perfect pair.

-Oh, thank you, girl.
That's the trip I needed.

Paul: I guess nobody's excited
for us to come home.

Tiffany: Oh.
-Oh. That's hilarious.

-What-- What is this?
-So now Tom and Tyson

have nuts all over them
and they're in a position.

-They're 69-ing?
-That's-- Thank you,

'cause I couldn't remember
the number.

-Okay.
-Oh, they're 69-ing.

Tiffany: Hey, Christine.
Christine: Hi, guys.

Paul: Hey, Christine.
-What'd you guys do?

-Circus School.
-Cirque du Soleil.

Flips and twirls
and spins and ropes.

-Yeah.
-Trapeze and silks.

Christine:
Right up your alley, Paul.

Kate: Yeah, he was a natural.
-He was a natural.

-I bet you were. I bet you were.
-Natural clown.

[sighs]

-How was it?
-Oh my-- Hi.

-Hi. How are you?
-What's up, dawg?

How you doing?
-Good.

-You think
I'm f*cking funny?

Funny like a clown?
I got-- Where's Drita?

I gotta give her that bit.

-They all f*cking
want you gone.

-I know.

-Listen, I can't kiss a man
for 30 seconds

and not let him know
what's going on behind his back.

I need these men here
to support me.

I'm the Rosa Parks,
and this is my John Adams

and my John Wilkes Booth.

They're f*cking with y'all.

I swear when I say this man
was the one to pull up

on the pull-ups first.

Christine: That sounds cute.

-It was tough.
-But you rose

to the occasion, Paul.
And so did Kate.

I'm surprised
how limber she was.

Paul: She was very limber.
-Yeah. She don't smile a lot,

but she love
to spread her legs.

[Paul laughs]

-What the f*ck?

Tom: Yeah.

-I hate it.

Gentlemen, they want y'all gone.

Tom: Who's they?
-Everybody I was just out with.

-So we're both going up
on the Hit List probably?

You just need to talk to Kate.

She's right here right now.

-Kate.
-Hi, Kate.

Tiffany: Is it the time?
Kate: For what?

These men are so-- I mean...

-No, everybody's here now.

-What's it-- What's going on?

-Oh, gosh.
Kate: What's going on?

-Me and Tom will talk to you
or I can talk to you one-on-one.

-Sure. I'm looking
for a beach towel

and I'd like to know
how to turn the Jacuzzi on.

-There we go.
-I'll-- I'll get beach towel...

-That's what's important to me.
-...and I'll come meet you out.

I really need
to try to convince Kate

to not put me up.

But I just don't think

Kate is really open to reason

as much as she is to revenge
and being vindictive.

-Tom, you make sure you talk
to her next, okay?

-Mm-hmm. I will.
-Yeah. Good.

Kate: So what's going on?

Tyson: I know you're gonna do
what you're gonna do,

but I did wanna tell you
that Tom had no intention,

I had no intention either,
of you ending up with the note.

-Well, you know, what
would've been the better way?

Not hiding it under the chair

so no one else could find it.

-I didn't know
if you were the last one

or not to open it and--
-So it really wasn't your place

to hide it under the chair,
was it?

-And everyone--
-It wasn't your letter anymore.

-Everyone already--
-It wasn't

your envelope anymore.

-I agree with that.

-Okay.
-I'm sorry I did that.

-I don't care if you're sorry.

-I'm telling you,
you need to think about

who you wanna sit by at the end.

-Thank you for that reminder.
-I'm just saying.

Most of the people in this house
aren't gonna vote for me

at the end to win this thing.

-So, you're trying
to convince me

to let you stay to lose?

I don't know when exactly
Tyson won Survivor,

but I'm pretty sure
it was a long time ago

'cause he's clearly very rusty.

-You should be choosing people
that will lose against you.

-I don't need
your coaching, Tyson.

But thank you, I appreciate

the unsolicited advice.

-Okay.

I'm pretty confident I am going

to be on the Hit List.

[upbeat music playing]

-I just ate boiled eggs.

And now, we're going
to what, the Banishment?

Christine: Yeah. Well,
she hasn't put three yet.

It's gonna be Tyson, Tom,
and then, someone else

that she has to put up,
which is not gonna be good.

That means it's, like,
f*cking one of us.

I have a feeling
one of my friends and allies

might be going up.

Maybe Drita or New York.

I don't know.

Could I be up there?

Absolutely.

Kate is a wildcard.

Wish me luck.

Oh, f*ck.

[upbeat music playing]

[sighs]

-How's it going?
Kate: Good. How are you?

Tom: I'm chillin'.
-Good.

Tom: So you were good
at trapeze?

-I guess so.
I mean, it's really just

hanging from a monkey bar.

Have you had a good time here?

-It felt like it got, like,

real serious all of a sudden.

-Yeah, I know.
I know what you mean.

I felt like that
when I was on the Hit List

from the envelope.
-Yeah.

-That was like a bummer.
-Yeah.

-That was a real big bummer.
-I'm sorry about that.

I'm sorry you had to go
through that.

-Your bed buddy Tyson

put it under the chair.

You guys made it impossible

for me to get off the Hit List.

-I don't know why he did that.

I would've just f*cking left
that sh*t out.

-You let him do it.
-I didn't let-- I can't, like,

control him, dude.
Kate: You didn't stop him.

You didn't pull it out
from under the chair.

Is he your boss?

Is Tyson the boss of you, Tom?

-No.

-Seems like he is.

Tom: My association

with Tyson is definitely

getting me put on the Hit List.

I'm sure you know who you're--

who else you're putting
up there, right?

-I'm open to suggestions.

-If you're up there
at the end of this,

standing next to Drita,
it's gonna be hard to get people

to, like, vote for you.

I mean--
-That's kinda rude, Tom.

-She's tried to save
every single person that's left.

If Kate is as smart
as she says she is,

getting rid of Drita,

that will be
best case scenario

for everyone's game.

But she is too worried

about revenge,

and it's gonna lose her
the game.

-I'm sorry you're gonna miss
your friend,

but you guys get
one last night together.

Make it count.

[bell dinging]

[upbeat music playing]

[PA system dinging]

Joel: It's time to get ready

for your
Hit List nominations.

Kate, get excited
or your closest approximation

to the human emotion
known as excitement.

-How cute
is this earring, though?

Isn't that cute? It's a chair.

-The problem is wearing
something this bold,

Kate's definitely gonna try
and make fun of me.

-Yeah.
-She'll be like,

"Oh, cute little cowboy,
stupid, f*cking moron."

[Tom laughs]

-Well, I better get up
and get dressed.

-Nobody likes smelly feet.

-Oh, my gosh, Tyson.
Tyson: What's up?

-I've never seen you dress
so fancy.

-Thank you.
Christine: Giddy up, cowboy.

Kate: If I were
an insecure person,

this one being on the bottom
would bother me.

[PA system dinging]
Joel: Everyone,

head to the Super Secret
Hidden Bookcase.

-There's a bookcase in here?

Joel:
Which is the same location

as every other episode.

Kate: Let's go.

Obviously, Tom and Tyson

are one and two
on my Hit List.

However, I have not decided
on spot number three.

There are still four villains
to choose from.

Okay. Let's go in the bookshelf.

It really comes down
to who do I trust the least.

Oh, my God.

[suspenseful music playing]

[static crackles]

Joel: Hello, villains,

and welcome to the reason

we're overbudget,

the Stronghold.

It's time
for your Hit List nominations.

Kate, you are the Supervillain.

Please take your chair.

[suspenseful music playing]

-I'm a little annoyed
you didn't say again.

-You're right. I'm really sorry.

How does it feel
to be Supervillain, again?

-I feel amazing.
I love this seat.

-Kate, you get to choose
the three villains

in danger of being banished.

-Have mercy, Lord Jesus.

All right. Keep going.
I'm sorry, Joel.

-Okay, everyone.
If you are nominated,

please, step over here.

And remember,
no matter who is banished,

it's an honor
just to be nominated.

Tyson:
Kate is super unreasonable.

She's been living mad
for 49 years or whatever.

With Kate as Supervillain,
nothing is really certain

except for that
she will be driven by rage

and anger and hatred.

-Kate, who are you going
to piss off first and why?

-I made it clear last time
I was in this chair

that anyone who puts me
on a Hit List,

I will retaliate.

And this person made sure

that I remained on the Hit List

after I opened the envelope
by hiding it under a chair.

So Tyson, take your place
on the Hit List.

Tyson: Kate wants retaliation,

but retaliation doesn't usually
win you the game

in these scenarios,
and oftentimes,

keeps you from even getting
to the end.

-Colonel Sanders is looking
finger-licking good.

-Tyson, is there anything you'd
like to say in your defense?

-No.

I mean, I saw it coming.

-That was a very good way
to dodge a real answer.

Kate, who are you going
to piss off next?

-The second person
I'm gonna nominate

was complicit in hiding
the envelope under the chair,

and thus, ensuring
I remained on the Hit List.

And so, Tom,
you are the next one

to go on that stage.

Joel: Tom, uh, anything
you'd like to say in response?

-You know, Kate,

I had really big plans for us.

I was gonna, like,
follow you on Instagram.

I was even going to comment

on one of your sponsored posts.

Like for instance, if you did,

like, a teeth whitening system,

I was literally gonna comment

on how
that teeth whitening system,

like, gave me the courage
to smile again,

to get, like,
more comments going,

and then, comment back to them.

Like, I was willing
to do that for you.

But now, I think
that ship has sailed.

-Good one, Tom.

Did you know that he put
the envelope under the chair?

-I mean, at a point,
I guess he told me,

but I'm, like,
I don't know what to do,

like, there's people
guarding it, like...

-The people guarding it
were the ones

who hadn't opened it yet.

-Well, I...

-Those aren't guards.
Tom: I screwed up.

I panicked, and I f*cked up.

-Yup, you did.

-No more Tom Collinses for us.

-Okay. Kate, who is your final
Hit List nomination and why?

-We're on pins and needles.

-I don't feel safe.

Kate: My third nominee

is only because I have

to nominate a third person.

-Would she surprise me

and, you know, pick maybe me?

Kate: These are the only two
I care to nominate.

I don't think this third person

necessarily planned for me

to not be able to--
-Oh, Jesus, Lord at Thy birth.

-Is that too long?
-Whew. I'm scared.

She may put me on the Hit List.

-I have to nominate somebody
so that's gonna be...

-It's basically, like, watching

one of those
animal documentaries

where you know
someone's about to strike.

You just don't know where.

[dramatic music playing]

Joel: Coming up
on House of Villains.

-It's spinning.

I'm really regretting
the lunch they gave us.

-Are we excited to see me?

-Yes!
-Yes, sissy.

-So I thought
it would be a little fun

to bring in some old friends.

-We heard some troublemakers

are throwing
a house party, baby.

-I can't believe
you're in here right now.

Kamal: Anybody that can go
out there and survive

is a true Stallionaire, man.

-Don't tell Tyson
I was in the super bed.

-Who in here
do you trust the least?

-Tom.
-Oh.

-You really don't trust me

-This is the best way
for each of us individually

to get further.

-Bro, I am genuinely
thinking about it.

-Surprisingly,
I'm feeling pretty good

about my chances of staying.

-If we pull
this sh*t off, bro...

-That would be f*cking epic.

I'm fighting
for my f*cking life.

-I'm watching you
specifically, Paul.

I'm coming for you,
we're both out.

-Don't piss me off.

And you threatening me in front

of other people is bullshit.

You're gonna get bit.

-Hi.

-I'm on f*cking fire right now.

And any m*therf*cker here
that's gonna

even play me like I'm dumb,

I'm gonna show you

how m*therf*cking gangsta
I become.

[dramatic music playing]